JAMAICAN MOMMIES

Had to share- 5 best toys of all times

2011-12-01T15:52:00.003-06:00

As we enter the festive season and with all the hurrah around gift giving, parents should be cautioned as it relates to the expense of gift giving.

While nothing brings greater joy than seeing your little one's face light up when a new toy is presented, parents are often left bewildered when that toy is discarded for.....something a little less appealing. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

In fact, it is common to hear many parents declare that their child seems to gain more satisfaction from the gift wrapper than the gift itself. With that much said, this post from Johnathan Liu was a refresher and made me smile and nod as I went along. As you read, just consider the essence of what is being said and who knows, your daughter may end up finding extreme joy from a box of Kleenex or your son may find the bubble wrapper as the most delightful thing yet.

So let us not only look at the costs of the gifts we give our kids, but the value of some of the ones we choose to give them.

Happy reading here.

Interview with Anna Deskins- Children's author

2011-10-11T13:34:00.011-05:00

As mommies and mom bloggers, it is always ever so comforting to see our fellow mom and mom bloggers succeeding at all things they do. So it was particularly refreshing for me to conduct the following interview with fellow mommy blogger Anna Deskins from AnnaDeskins.com. One of Anna's most recent accomplishments is the completion of her children's book, The Adventures of Smitty, which has already been receiving excellent reviews from parents. yet one of my biggest questions for Anna is where she finds time to pack so much in, especially as a single mom and recent divorcee.

Anna also goes deep by giving some solid advice for busy moms, motivation for persons who are down and inspiration to take on life's challenges.

So have a read, leave comments below and most importantly, show your support by grabbing a copy of this book.

Your children's book, The Adventures of Smitty looks magical. Tell us about it.

It's the story of a magical island of little creatures called Smilies and the mischievous little main character, Smitty. He's such a naughty boy. Haha! All the moms and kids I've shared it with have been giving me such a wonderful reaction. I cannot believe it. I have to tell you how excited I am to finally have a life-long dream come true. Writing The Adventures of Smitty was really about finding a story that I would want to read to my children at night. It has to be exciting but not scary so that my two daughters can go to sleep. Basically, I was looking for that perfect blend to read to my kids at night and decided, "Why not try writing my own?"

We've had a lot of changes in our life recently, so I want to make sure that when I put my daughters to sleep that they feel safe. I have short chapters because I know how busy we moms are but if you can just sacrifice 5 minutes at night reading to your kids, it makes a world of difference. Your kids will never forget it. And although we're running around the whirlwind of life, our kids grow up so fast, and that time that we'd rather finish watching what happened in our favorite soap opera instead of reading to our kids will never come again. I hope that The Adventures of Smitty and books like it help moms do exactly that.

And it's only 99 cents this week. That's what I love about it. Now, You are recently divorced. How have you been able to continue writing when going through such a change?
Yes, it is by far one of the most challenging points in my life. To see a marriage you thought would last forever to not last forever was difficult for the two of us. I really learned a lot about myself and most importantly, it's brought me closer to my daughters. I think that's what really motivated me to finish this children's book no matter what. When you're going through changes in your life like this, you need something to hold on to. There's a part of you that wants to prove that you can make it, that you will be a success even if it's not with the partner you originally imagined building a life with. I had to keep writing, for my kids. I want to show them that they have to keep strong, no matter what.

We as women, as moms really need to stick together to support each other and our dreams. We're living in an age when I think we're finally realizing, although we want love, the men in our life aren't the answer to everything. We have to stand up on our own two feet and keep going. True love will happen, but until then, we have to keep moving forward. Our children depend on us and we depend on us.

In addition to being a children's book author, you're also a small business owner. How do you juggle taking care of two daughters and at the same time running a business?
Yes, I am a fashion designer and have a retail store. Any type of creativity is what I'm passionate about. That's why writing The Adventures of Smitty was so important to me. Let me tell you, running a small business in today's economy isn't easy especially when raising two girls at the same time. But somehow, it seems someone's watching over me because my dreams are coming true no matter what. To have that many moms glowing about my children's book, means so much to me. And I know my girls are proud.

When do you ever have time to write?
You mean, in between laundry, running a business, chasing my girls around the house, cleaning the house, and flying back and forth from Miami to New York? Haha? That's one thing I've learned, when you really want to do something, you find a way. Things fall into place if you just go for it and that's what I want to encourage all the moms who are reading this right now. Whatever your goal is, you can do it. Don't let the challenges in your personal life stop you from going for your dreams. Just go for it and it's almost magical how things fall into place.

Where can we get a copy of "The Adventures of Smitty"?
Right now, it's available online by going to: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/94655 You can also visit my website:http://www.AnnaDeskins.com where you can read more about my writing process, my recommendations for other books and my own adventures in Mommyhood.

I'm so grateful for your support and the support I'm getting from so many wonderful moms who dream of writing children's books one day too. Writing The Adventures of Smitty has been such an emotional experience for me, a true journey as I was going through so many changes while writing it. It's truly been a blessing in my life. It, along with my daughters, and that guy upstairs have really pulled me through a challenging time.

It was a true honour to have gotten so much valuable advice packed into a single interview. Thanks for the interview, Anna. Now, let's go out and support a fellow mom by getting a copy of The Adventures of Smitty today. I know I will!

J Mom featured on Annadeskins.com

2011-09-25T08:00:00.006-05:00

Some weeks ago, Jeff Rivera, Editor in Chief of Gatekeeperspost.com on his blog walking mission, sent me a message to say he had enjoyed viewing my blog. It was a nice gesture on his part. It was most appreciated as anyone who has ever received a compliment knows... It was also appreciated because in its simplest form " Hi Shanoy really enjoying reading your blog!" means that I've been doing a good enough job thus far to make all things mommy related an interesting read.

Mere hours later, Jeff indicated that he had a friend, another mommy blogger who he'd want to put me on to, so she could interview me for her site. That friend turned out to be Anna Deskins of Annadeskins.com....

A few questions later and voila, here goes my interview on being a mother, mommy blogging and all things mommy related...so head on over and have a read here then head back here and leave a comment.

Thank you Anna and Jeff,

A Big Baby Shower- Lifestyle parenting event- Sunday August 28, 2011

2011-08-27T20:25:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow " A Big Baby Shower", a parenting lifestyle event kicks off at Devon House's East lawns (1:00-6:00 p.m.). The event's creators have described the event as follows: "A Big Baby shower will focus on the emotional, practical and aesthetic aspects of pregnancy and parenthood. Our aim is to inform, pamper and support mothers during their pregnancy and newborn experience."

With a grand prize of a $500, 000 nursery and other fabulous spot prizes, the event promises to be a great one. See promo video below and for more information, head on over to Boy O Boy's Page.

Of Toddlers and Thunderstorms.....then you're NEEDED!!

2011-08-26T10:06:00.008-05:00

" Daddy, Daddy!!! came the terrified screams from the other room as our 2 year old toddler experienced one of her first thunderstorms.

She continued shrieking and clutching us tightly even as she was snuggled up between both of us in bed. With a tear stained face, she kept hollering "It's scary mommy" and even as we tried to get her to calm down between sobs and tears, she said "I'm sorry guys" (My heart simply broke at this point as she had nothing to be sorry about, but it has been one of the expressions she has been using lately)

But the entire episode of seeing our normally bubbly and confident 2 year old cowering in fear brought about some key lessons.

It is often easy for us as mums to sometimes start seeing our kids as much 'bigger' than they really are... We look on at them with a sense of regret as we say 'oh they grow up so fast'. Then there are days when we look to our children for a sense of comfort from the world's cares but as parents we can and should never forget that children will naturally need their parents to be there for them throughout ALL of their lives.

Essentially, seeing a child cower in fear is never a welcomed sign for it signals that they are experiencing something that is beyond their understanding or something that causes them pain (we sometimes forget that children know the difference between happiness and sadness, joy and pain etc)

And so this episode with the thunderstorm just reminded me of the many ways in which our children will continue to need us... They will need their parents to share in their joys, sorrows and pains

Children will continuously need encouragement when they are not at their best, appreciation when they excel, love on their good and bad days, a sense that you care all throughout and reassurance in times of uncertainty...and so while we spent the next couple of hours protecting our little miss from the boisterous and frightening thunderstorm, it left a lasting impression, a message I'll hold forever- Parents will always be NEEDED by their children. Even when you are having your own bad days or you feel like your kids have 'grown away' from you, it certainly helps to remember that as the parent, the one who is expected to be wiser, smarter, dependable, the adviser, the doctor the friend, you are NEEDED.

You may not always feel like you embody all the ideal qualities, but know this, there is that little or big person out there who looks to YOU-In more ways than one. So even when you may be ignored by day when the weather is sunny and there are other more alluring things to explore, by night when the thunderstorms of life rages and that 'little person' needs someone to turn and talk to, to get support, comfort and reassurance, YOU WILL BE NEEDED!!!!

So be prepared always! Educate yourself as you see fit, seek the advice of positive role models to ensure that when the NEED arises, you will be ready to share the positives with that 'little' person in need.

Blog Swap 2011- Theme: Summer

2011-08-17T15:19:00.024-05:00

Woot woot Its the annual Blog Swap, when another 20 something blogger takes over your blog for a day.. Erika from my life in pictures takes over my blog for the day. We were given the topic 'summer' and to blog about anything we did this summer, any favourite summer memory etc... So have a read and of course show her some love with your comments :-)

N.B. Due to the difference in formats, there is quite a bit of spacing between the images and wording, so please scroll and read all the way to the end, while I try to fix this.

You can also check out my very Jamaican summer post over at her blog... Cheers!!!

Hi there! I'm Erika, from My Life In Pictures. I'm guest-spotting today, and I apologize in advance for the absence of anything Mommy. I'm a recent transplant to Kalispell, Montana from Minnesota. I've only lived here for a month type of recent. I moved to Kalispell for a job, an awesome job, but that doesn't matter at all. I would move out here without the job or place to live. Kalispell is wonderful. I'm half an hour from Glacier National Park, mountain goats, marmots, and grizzly bears. My adventures in Kalispell have been minimal so far, but I did have a chance to go on a massive day hike in Glacier.

I would never see something like this in Minnesota.

My friends all thought I was crazy for moving across the country for a job to a city where I knew absolutely no one. I still know only my roommate and my coworkers. At least they're fun. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, but then I look at pictures like this one and realize why the mountains are so spectacular.

It was one of the best days I've had in a long time.

I brought my massively heavy camera with me, played around with shutter speeds, and got some wonderful shots of mountains, animals, flowers, and waterfalls. It's all glacial meltwater, so it was frigid when I walked in it. Made me thankful for my Gore-Tex hiking shoes.

I hiked alone, whoops, and I had the time of my life. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time, and I can't wait to do it again.

I highly recommend anyone who has the opportunity to go to a park, reserve, whatever, and just walk around. It's amazing what you notice when you're not distracted by life and trying to figure everything out. Truly amazing.

Thanks for reading my ramblings about life in Montana. I hope I didn't interrupt your normal readings too much.

-Erika

When Baby is away...

2011-08-08T08:32:00.005-05:00

So its Summer!!! That fabulous time of the year earmarked for fun, sun, relaxation and all things wonderfully exciting. Summer for a fortunate set also means a break from school and/or work. And for us mums, summer often means baby goes away to spend quality time with relatives.

So with both grandmas having a little time on their hands and the constant calls that they don't see granddaughter enough, hubby and I more or less work out a schedule for her to spend time with each of them.

Now, when you work it out in your head, it all seems so appealing.. Baby will be gone for 2-3 weeks or so, which gives you more time to do all the little things you never got the chance to do. It is also supposed to mean more time with hubby, more time for self, more time with friends, time to complete home projects you've had on indefinite hold... you know what I mean right?

But then you fast forward, baby has been gone a day and oh my, suddenly, everything seems to be a little too quiet, a little too depressing, a little too lonely.

After just a day of being gone, I lay on the couch alone, praying hubby gets home swiftly as the house just seems too too quiet. I find myself just lying there watching the same shows I would have watched with my toddler and this gets me a little confused. I mean come on, here's the perfect opportunity to see all those shows I have had to put on hold because baby wants to watch TV during Prime Time and wants you to join her, so you always end up watching her shows and never yours.

I keep thinking, here is the time I should use for that exercise DVD I've been meaning to do for ages, or oh yes, I can finally read that novel that has been lying around or rearrange the furniture as I've been intending to do; but all these things pale in comparison to having my little miss sunshine around. Then on an impulse, I pick up the phone, dial grandma's number, only to hear that baby girl is busy playing. She is given the phone and it goes something like this:

Grandma: Talk to mommy baby
Baby: No, No
Grandma: Talk to mommy baby
Baby: Stop it! I don't want to
Grandma: You're going to make mommy cry
Baby (takes the phone): Hi Mommy, a mix of gibberish and some explanation about playing with her cousins, then " I love you mommy, bye bye, see ya, later"

That's it, Can you hear my heart breaking?

I'm now writing this as baby is in her third week away from home and over those 2 weeks I've really come to know how it feels to truly miss someone. Over those 2 weeks I've:

* Visited Baby just about every other evening (Thankfully Grandma #1 is close enough to home)

* Called baby just about daily (often totally shunned due to play time or Dora, Caillou or Nai-Hao Kai Lan TV time or just got a "love you" and "later")

* Felt guilty about doing nice things for myself without her around.

* Learnt it is often best to just let her be... I mean each time I visit, it just makes her a little homesick and teary, then wanting to depart with me.

* Learnt that she loves me and misses me no matter what

* Learnt that I should really try to enjoy the time apart (I actually caved in and took her back home on Independence day and after a pretty heavy 'workout session' just playing with her or telling her what not to do, and what to do and to leave the puppy alone etc. I was convinced I do in fact need a little break sometimes)

* Come to appreciate that striking the right balance often means I need to take my own advice about getting that ME time you deserve

It was also truly warming to see this post in the Jamaica Observer from another mum who knows exactly what I'm going through.

So even as I write and I absorb the lessons learnt, my heart is still a little in the dumps, knowing that Grandma # 2 is a little further away and this will prevent me from dropping in every other day *sniff* ( I actually just called while I'm typing this and my little missy just said "Mummy I got bubbles" and ran off..sigh..)

So share your own stories of how you deal with summer separation and I think I'll find solace in knowing some mums who have been there and done that can testify that the 'spend time with grandma/alone time' has some definite benefits.

Whew its been a while!!!

2011-06-12T21:34:00.004-05:00

Hi Mommies,
Wow has it been ages!!! While it was never my intention to let this blog ever go unattended, the realities of being a working mum to a 2 year old and an equally demanding 30-ish year old child :-), has somehow made things slip along the way. But boy, do I have a lot to share... Let me just first off that the term 'terrible twos' was not just some fancy term pulled from a hat- It is as real as the two year old angel-looking child that's sleeping peacefully as I type, as it is like the 2 year old semi-monster that appears when she's awake.

But for all the time that my beloved blog has not had its blank canvas filled with tales of how to survive as a mom (yes survive), rest assured, I have been learning a whole lot, which I'll make as concise as possible below:

1. A toddler is quite an individual- Its amazing actually how their personalities just suddenly shine through, a far cry from the teeny, curled up mass you brought home from the hospital.

2. That term "Children live what they learn"..believe it! Its amazing how swiftly a child picks up on your tones, the phrases you use, your 'angry voice', your 'disciplinary actions' etc and readily copy and repeat often to the amazement of friends and family members who cant believe the exactness with which they relay things you so often do.

3. Oh yes and again that term "children are like little sponges' that too is true beyond belief Mind you, they may not immediately repeat or display what they have previously absorbed, but don't be surprised when days down the line you hear the very words you uttered being repeated.

4. Toddlers have a sense of humour- "Mommy you're funny", "Knock knock daddy" are just a few ways in which they let their funny sides shine through. Their little sense of humour certainly makes you appreciate them as little human beings and not just tiny, moveable beings.

5. Toddlers are demanding: Whew! I've had a rough run trying to figure out why my 2 y-o doesn's seem to understand "In a bit" "later" or "tomorrow", but now I know for a fact that they are hardwired to get things done here and now and they demand accordingly.

6. Toddlers can be manipulative: Yes! believe it. The first time my 2 y-0 made a mess she cupped her lil hands over her mouth, said "Oh no, I made a mess", followed by "I'm sorry mommy, don't cry" my heart just melted- There was a part of me that couldn't reprimand that cute little thing looking so truly apologetic. Yet as time went by, I realised it is a definite strategy. These days, almost as suddenly as lil one discovers she did something wrong the uh-oh moment comes along with the "I'm sorry"... So we're still working on going beyond the cuteness while reprimanding wrongdoings. Oh, just to add as well, a newer strategy has come in the form of the 'cuteometer'.. These days she puts her two hands together as if to utter a prayer and say "Please Daddy Please 9sounds more like Peese Daddy Peese" while she jumps excitedly about. Seems to work too as Daddy always breaks down and seems to forget that it is a manipulative strategy.

7. Toddlers can clearly show emotions: Not that you didn't know this already, but your day certainly becomes lighter when you have two little arms wrapped around you and a soothing little voice that says "Mommy I love you". Then of course there is the flip side, when a toddler gives the 'rude aunty Danz' a side eye and the pointy finger, reprimanding tone and complains to everyone who will listen. At those moments, her 'upset' state clearly shines through.

8. Toddlers are jealous! Yes they are! of Daddies, Mommies, other kids, even pets. Just look carefully the next time a neighbor's baby comes over and mommy seems to spend a little too much time with baby. Don't be surprised when your toddler suddenly wants to be cradled.

9. Toddlers are a lot smarter than we think and this is so true.. I can already see you nodding in agreement as your toddler or those you have been around would have certainly done something or many things that made you look on in amazement and think "wow he/she is so smart".. That much said, be very careful what you do around your kids.. Rest assured, if the neighbor doesn't hear about it the next day, you may hear it repeated next week :-)

10. Toddlers look up to you Both literally and figuratively. A mommy or Daddy is like the very best thing to a toddler (until Teacher becomes the idol). They look to you for guidance and a total understanding of how the world works. It is through your actions that they often see the world. So in everything you do, be the very best role model for the children in your life. Remember much, if not all of their molding rests in your grasps, so treat them as the tender, moldable little beings that they are.

So there you have it, just a few thoughts. Feel free to add your very own observations.. I'm already envisioning a possible post (The toddler as cupid) as I remember once when Daddy asked little miss for a kiss, she ran across the room for me, pulled me closer and said "Daddy kiss, Kiss Daddy" awwww

Oh Home where is thine Beauty???

2010-08-26T15:55:00.005-05:00

Looking at the living room that I just tidied with EVERYTHING scattered around, I wonder how someone so small can make so HUGE a mess. It's a little ironic really since she is quite the lil home maker. She knows where everything (that she wants placed)is to be placed. As such, Mommy and Daddy's legs for example are a NO NO in the sofa (and she'll take them out while shouting NO!) No miscellaneous item should ever be placed in her swing, crib or stroller and books should be in the book assigned area. So why is it that Mommy's sofa covers, centrepieces, family games and the like can't remain in place???

I tell you i've always heard parents complain about being unable to keep a tidy house and now I know why. I clearly recall a lovely living room makeover only months ago with black sofa covers, Bamboo Accents, Black wooden candle holders with little tea lights, Black and gold vases (I made these myself)and dried Baby's breath (Its a flower) to boot. Not too long after, with a fully mobile baby I discovered that my beautiful trimmings were not to remain in place. In fact it was with a heavy heart that I finally locked shop and removed all the added items. I mean after all my baby's safety is a priority, even at the expense of a beautifully decorated home to greet friends and loved ones..sigh.. But is there a way to achieve a balance? Can my home be kept BEAUTIFUL yet BABY proofed?

Voila I saw THIS written by Kayla Griffin

There is good news though, it doesn't have to be this way! There are children out there who put their things away, take their dishes out, and even put their clothes in the hamper! Children who can clean up after themselves without even being told. This all seems so exciting and new right well it gets better I am going to give you some tips on how you can teach your children to clean up after themselves.

So it can happen after all and thankfully my little one already knows where her shoes are to be placed for example and I'm sure with a little practical adjustments (Putting aside the centre table during play time, using velcro to fasten the sofa covers in place and putting more delicate items on higher shelves I'll be able to balance beauty and baby proofed :-D And then there's the challenging but rewarding task of teaching your toddler how to be mommy's little helper. So how do you strike the balance? Let us know and for more tips, I found THIS to be a good read.

Cheers!

10 Things to do instead of Spanking

2010-06-11T10:51:00.002-05:00

Having kids of any age sure has its down moments. Children by their very nature aren't always inclined to obey anything called rules. Then we have to sometimes remember as parents that some things that we call being rude are in fact just mere child's play. So faced with a uber hyperactive toddler or a nonchalant teen, many parents are tempted to offer a slap or two. Yet, more and more doctors and child specialists worldwide have been calling for more non-violent approaches towards meting out discipline. While the debate about to spank or not continues, varied views will be aired. My mother for one will tell you that a lil spanking never did us any wrong(smiles). She was however always quick to point out that discipline should never be issued as a way to hurt a child, but more of a form of correction. So if spanking is to be administered,do not do so in frustration as you may have regrets.

For those parents who do not wish to take a spanking approach, the team at Positive Parenting offers a list of alternative ways to effectively discipline a child. Please guage the information though as I strongly disagree with claims that spanking a child leads to children who are more prone to low self-esteem, depression and accept lower paying jobs as adults. I am perfect proof that this is not true. I must admit I was always a very strong willed (Jamaicans say stubborn child) who would sometimes disregard my Mother's instructions. Paired with siblings who were a little less strong willed, I may have come across as a little hard to deal with (Ask my mother now and she'll tell you she admires my resilience now that i'm grown -smiles-) At these times, no rod was spared. Yet if its one thing I know, I do not have lowered self esteem, depression etc. If any of these factors manifest themselves at any later point, I would have to thoroughly assess all other environmental, mental and physical factors in my life at the particular time to thoroughly ascertain wheter or not a spank here and there from my parents contributed to it.

So go on over and check out 9 Things to do instead of Spanking. It is in fact a good read and offers some useful tips. Also be sure to share with us what works for you as a parent. Do you spank sometimes? Not at all? What works? Let us know.

Cheers

Being the Single parent (Mother)

2010-04-15T12:02:00.003-05:00

Ever noticed those Television commercials that showcase families? Yes those ones that always have a nuclear family (ideally one boy, one girl) with perfectly white teeth and the endless smiles? yes, even as one such nuclear family, I've been bombarded by those, which has got me thinking about varied family structures and how they affect parenting.

In fact I have had the oppurtunity to meet varied mothers who have CHOSEN to raise their kids in a single parenting structure and I say CHOSEN because that is exactly what happened. Enter Kaycee: faced with a failing relationship with her boyfriend, she decides to call it quits. Only to discover after that she is pregnant. Everyone seems to think that now that a child is on the way, the 'appropriate' thing to do is to remain in the relationship and raise the child together. being a 'new age mom' as my mom calls it, she decides no no no. so she continues separated from her boyfriend and has the child. It is difficult she confesses, especially since she has so many mommy peers in a nuclear family setting. She says she manages however with strong family support and ensuring that her child's father is very active in the child's life. Her daughter adores him she confesses and "so I try to remain neutral when it comes on to their time together. I ensure that he knows about important milestones in her life (birthdays, doctor appointments, special trips etc). I do however wonder sometimes how things will be when she gets older and starts asking why her father doesn't live at home. That is something I think may be a struggle, so for now I try not to think about it" she reveals.

Many 'new age moms' like Kaycee faces a similar situation. Instead of remaining in what could be a potentially unhealthy relationship, they choose to raise their child in more of a single parenting setting. The key to being as close as possible to a successful child rearing strategy, therefore rests in how the parent mananges his or her time and how much oppurtunities there are for the other parent to be involved.

Enter Le-Ann, who having been married for 5 years, finally filed for a divorce. "It was a very tough time" she expressed. "With three kids and a very shaky job situation, I was forced to decide whether or not I would stay with my husband for the sake of our children. It always makes me feel guilty when it is put that way, especially since I chose to move on with life as a single parent, as our relationship was truly heading no where. No day is ever easy as I now have three times the work, and where Mark would have assisted with getting the kids dressed, I am now on my own". She also adds that the most difficult part of choosing to go this route is the constant questions from her kids. "Its always more difficult when the kids have gotten used to seeing their father everyday. They truly miss him and no matter, how much of a failing relationship we had, he was a good father to them". With tears in eyes she explains, "To date, the questions keep coming 'when is Daddy coming back? To this day, I have only survived the many questions both from my kids and persons in society, because I have told myself that in the long run I wouldnt have my kids see me crying at nights because my relationship was failing. The irony though is that I still cry, moreso because I know they miss having their dad at home, even though he is still very active in their lives and then there is the constant thought if they'll ever hate me for leaving when they get much older".

As expressed by both ladies, being a single parent-'new age' or not is no easy task and probably their biggest challenges come from concern about the wellbeing of their children and a very unforgiving society. As pointed out by family counsellors, Parents who choose to raise their child alone-separated from the father are therefore often bombarded by varied societal analyses which indicates that this sort of parenting is less than ideal. While there are indeed many challenges affiliated with this type of family structure, professionals have ascertained that there are in fact benefits for the 'new age mom' in a single parent family structure. The Associated Content's Jacqueline Parks, shares one of the major benefits being the ability to "develop more confidence in yourself. As you learn to make decisions on your own and solve problems, you will develop confidence that you don't need to rely on anyone else to get you through life. If you financially support yourself and your kids, that is another boost to your self-esteem". . Another major benefit is listed as " A less stressful home-Single parent homes typically have less arguing and are often less stressful than two parent homes especially for the children". Get the fulll list of benefits here . Also check out some of the challenges of being in a single parent home and subsequent strategies for a successful single parenting

And remember ladies, behind every dark cloud, there is indeed a silver lining :-D

Putting the oomph back in your sex life after childbirth

2010-03-20T00:44:00.002-05:00

Many moms after not having sex throughout or in the latter part of their pregnancy, do find it a challenge to ease back into an active sex life. For some couples, the need for sexual gratification takes over and so they naturally ease back in. I've always wanted to do an article on how moms can ease back into a sexually fulfilling life and my dear friend Nikii who blogs over at my bedroom scoop did a wonderful job. Ladies check it out here and men I'm sure you'll love the message being communicated.

Cheers!

March's giveaway from Arawak Publications

2010-03-16T14:25:00.006-05:00

For this month, I have a special treat for you. This month's giveaway is still courtesy of Arawak Publications and is a digital learning cd rom. I have three copies and It features the classic Chicken Little tale in digital format in both English and Spanish. The cd is labelled for ages 4-7 years, but I'm sure younger kids will be just as happy with this gift. To win one of these, simply tell us, How you make learning fun for your children. All previous winners, please email me so we can organise collection of prizes. Thanks for the support guys and once you have received your prize, send us a pic and we'll be sure to display same. Since I posted this giveaway late you have until April 15 to post your comments. Cheers

The Unemployed Mother

2010-03-08T13:16:00.005-06:00

Hello mommies, let me apologise for not being on top of the game as it relates to posts. My life has taken on a few turns and this post will give you an idea of why I've been so busy. Recently, I started a blog post from my phone about putting the oomph back in your sex life post baby. While I think that is still a topic to be pursued, It somehow got erased and sitting looking at my blank screen, with my one year old in hand, got me thinking about being the unemployed mother. Many of you may not have known, but I have been made redundant from my 'executive title' position since very early December of last year. Since then I have been on an optimist's high and jumped right into freelancing. After all, in my capacity of Public Relations Account Executive, I singlehandedly managed the department and as such knew the ins and outs of the business to operate on my own. So I did just that.

This process however has not always been as fruitful as expected. From late payments (just received a final payment from a job done in November)to an uncertain market, I've had my share of challenges,but as a mother there are definate benefits-not so much from being unemployed, but more from being a 'freelancing-mostly at home mom' (small mercies I tell you). So one of the major benefits is more time with my precious of course. When I look back at my 9-5 and beyond, it seemed so callous in comparison to seeing my daughter grow, hearing her utter new words and do little actions that gets me on the phone telling everyone, you won't believe what Kailee just did. Of course there's also the benefit of sleeping in late, having my baby SEE me every morning and those little wake up hugs are something to live for.

Being somewhat unemployed at home has therefore opened my eyes to all that I've been missing from my child's life. It also got me thinking that every country should allow new moms at least the first year of their child's life away from work. I mean being a mom is a FULL time job, so why is it that society treats it as secondary to a 'job job'. Alas I could go on about the merits of more time with your child/ren, but the major reason for this post was to show that it is true that behind every dark cloud, there is indeed a silver lining and in this instance my lining has become gold as I treasure all these little mommy and me momments. Sadly, while I love freelancing, it currently reeks of uncertainity. I have devised a few startegies to pull in more business, but at the other end if a position still jumps at me, I do the occassional interview (Financial stability reasons). So even as I, the 'unemployed' mother waits, I may not be earning a steady income, but the last 3 months at home can definately be seen as one of my most precious time as a mother. Are you a Stay at home or unemployed mother? Let us know how you cope as well. Cheers!

Tamika you did It! Book Review and Arawak Giveaway #2

2010-02-02T14:55:00.005-06:00

Congratulations to our first batch of winners. For the month of February, our book is for the older kids. However, younger kids may very well enjoy the familiar Jamaican dialogue and situations. "Tamika you did it" tells the story of a 11 year old Tamika, who is intent on being reunited with her father back in Jamaica. Shortly after birth, Tamika migrated to the United States with her mother. As an only child she was pampered with material gifts. However. Tamika's longing for her father was not to be pushed aside. So for her twelfth birthday while friends were preparing for her 'bashment' birthday party, Tamika tells her mother her greatest gift would be to go to Jamaica and meet her dad. Faced with a prodding daughter, her mothers agrees, on the condition that Tamika can fulfill a most difficult request-that of increasing her attitude to school and improving her grades. Tamika, though usually disruptive in class goes on a quest to be a better student and eventually receive her birthday gift. But this journey is not without challenges. Her disruptive friend always tries to break her concentration at school, she gets into fights and her mother keeps telling her just how bad Jamaica has become and keeps asking if she's sure she wants to go. So do you think Tamika will improve her grades and work attitude? Will she get to go to Jamaica? Find out more as this book is yours for FREE courtesy of Arawak Publications. I have 3 copies and all you have to do is tell me: what do you think makes YOU a good mother. Winners will be randomly selected...you can comment until the end of February, when we'll select our winners. And for those who wish to purchase this book, it retails for $600 at Sangster's bookstores islandwide.

Hope for Haiti...help the mommies and children

2010-01-22T23:58:00.001-06:00

As many of you already know, Haiti has been struck a devastating blow and while aid is
pouring in, many seem to forego the needs of the many mommies and kids who are currently experiencing turmoil in Haiti. On seeing a newscast with 25 babies in a truck, as a mother I was moved to tears. With the lack of formula, the babies are being fed milk powder which gives their little tummies diahrrea and in turn dehydration. I know we all want to offer as much help as we possibly can. So I make a special appeal on behalf of moms, parents and children. In our giving, let us remember to send baby and children's clothes, soaps, diapers, wipes, formula, cereals, sanitary napkins, toothbrush, toothpaste and any other thing that you as a parent deem essential. I do not know how long the recovery process will be, but let us all in our own way, play a part. And even if you cannot send items, remember to pray for those in Haiti. Pray for the many orphans, persons in pain, the doctors, nurses, volunteers etc who are also working with limited resources. I do intend to further my part by starting a 'Save the Haiti Babies' awareness drive to encourage everyone to remember to drop off formulas, diapers and other baby essentials. Just please give whatever you can to the varied age
ncies in Jamaica currently collecting items. I plan to collect as much items as possible. Let us all work together, as the little things we do will make a BIG difference and as we know "One One coco, full basket" Keep your eyes here for an update on the "Save the Haitian Babies" awareness Initiative.

Happy New Year and Book Giveaway

2010-01-06T21:23:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year mommies and moms to be. I hope you had a wonderful 2009 and will remain optimistic in 2010. To start the year off right, Arawak Publications and its children's book authors have partnered with Jamaican mommies in our efforts to boost literacy among children. To this end, we will be giving away children books for varied age groups throughout the year. This is FREE and all you have to do is to share a memorable moment as a parent based on the specifications for each giveaway. Winners will then be selected randomly and we simply ask that once you've finished reading your book, you'll return to Jamaican Mommies and give us a review". Sweet right!

The first book we'll give away is Little Meeta. It is a colourful 21 Page book for children aged 3-6 years. Little Meeta speaks about an issue most common among children and teens, that of self-acceptance. Through its caterpillar character, Little Meeta, author Jean Goulbourne touches on issues relating to self. Little Meeta shares with her friends in the cabbage patch her dislike for her appearance and the book ends on a rather lovely note. I'll not spoil it for you though. I have 3 copies of Little Meeta to give away. All you need to do is to share something funny or smart that your child, niece, nephew, cousin or any other relative did over the holiday season.

So come on guys. This giveaway runs throughout January and next month we'll do another batch of giveaways. Happy New Year!

Discussion #5: Discipline by example

2009-12-23T10:34:00.002-06:00

Just recently I met a mother whose 2 year old son is quite the biter. He bites and slaps her at every oppurtunity he gets. On seeing the mother's plight, another mom suggested that in order to get him to stop biting her, she needs to actually bite him so he will know that it hurts and be compelled to stop. The mother of course was distraught at the thought of biting her own child, while the other mom swears it works, once you do not intend to harm the child. So what, do you think, do you bite your child in order to teach him/her not to bite and do you slap your child to teach him/her not to be so quick to slap others? Your thoughts please..

Making favourite foods healthier for your kids

2009-12-15T14:34:00.002-06:00

Ahhh, how often do you ever wish that your toddler would just get it on with eating? You've tried and tried to make those veggies appealing and you often end up with a grumpy child, shaking their head "No" and a frustrated mother who knows the child just needs to eat. Its a pretty tough world in mommywood, but have you ever thought of making some all time favourites much healthier to ensure that your child actually eats? Well i found this great article at Babyfit and I hope that this will help the much frustrated mom with her fussy lil eaters. Continue reading here

Interactive GSAT Games website and GSAT Online Resource Services Available

2009-12-14T21:13:00.005-06:00

Just like most of us parents, children do have a hard time studying and this is often due to parental pressure and mostly reading material that is deemed 'boring'. So it should come as a pleasant surprise that educate JA now has the wonderful interactive GSAT DVD which features practice questions in a fun and interactive format. See flyer below for more details.

Similarly, GoGSAT offers online support by way of tutorials, practice questions and even an e-learning centre. For more information, free trials and demo visit GO GSAT

Yes we've been noticed

2009-12-04T00:04:00.004-06:00

As many of you many know, this here blog is my project of sorts, that I have so many plans for and it reaches my heart when the blog is noticed. So i was pleasantly surprised to find quite a nice summary on Blog Jamaica. It begins thus....

When Shanoy Coombs wanted “to share all things mommy related with other moms” she decided to start a blog called Jamaican Mommies. Now visitors can share precious and poignant moments, comments and concerns on a variety of mommy topics. Of course, they can also connect with other moms. Continue reading

Edit: And on November 14th, a visitor to the blog led me back to the Jamaica My Way forum (Yes I'll sign up and become a member) and they too had praises for Jamaicanmommies. Author Jamcan1 posted "Okay so this blogger isn't a member of ours but I think her blog is fabulous! Its very real....and when people think there isn't much more to Jamaica than dancehall, food and parties...this blog is very refreshing.

Sounds like a very AWARE mother reaching out and communicating with other Jamaican mothers. Some good material in here." Sweet! See other favourable comments here

Cutest Baby Ever Competition Launched and Mom to be and Baby Expo in December

2009-11-24T08:58:00.009-06:00

I've pretty much always wanted Jamaica to have one of these Cutest Baby Competitions and also had it on my agenda to organize same. So I am somewhat thankful that the Flair Magazine, along with the Caribbean Events Group and Huggies have finally launched one.
So go on out and enter your little one to win prizes.. Best of luck for all moms

Categories: Category 1- 6 months-11 months
Category 2-1 year old- 1 year and 11 months
Category 3- 2 Years old-3 years old

How to Enter
Submit ONE photo of your cute baby via email to ceventsgroup@hotmail.com. Write in the Subject Line "Cutest Baby Ever Competition". Write your name, contact number, Baby's full name, Baby's age and Baby's Date of Birth.

Deadline for submissions: Wednesday, December 3, 2009 at 5 p.m. Winners published in the Flair Monday, December 7, 2009.

Competition Rules:
Only ONE Photo per baby; Send photo in jpeg format, Entrant must be Baby's parent or guardian or have permission from the parent/guardian; The winner agrees to have the baby's image used to publicise the competition; Judges Decision is final.

Also be sure to check out the Mom to Be and Baby Expo in December

The due date is December 5-6. The second annual Mom to Be and Baby Expo, slated for the Chinese Benevolent Association's auditorium, promises to be another exciting and informative celebration of pregnancy, babies and parenting.

The Caribbean Events Group and their partners promise another great boutique event, combining shopping, seminars, free consultations and services for expectant and new parents.

One lucky mother will win a major prize of products and services for three months for her and her baby. Continue reading here

Discussion #4- How much TV is too much?

2009-11-17T09:32:00.003-06:00

Medically is it said that children under 2 should watch no TV and children above two should watch no more than 1-2 hours of TV. It is also strongly reiterated that TV should never be a replacement for other activities and some researches seem to indicate that children exposed to prolonged TV viewership tend to be more obese and aggressive. Yet while the recommendations may be ideal, many if not all persons find these recommendations hard to live by. In the same vein, some recommend that for young children, all viewership be limited to educational programmes.

So am I the only bad parent who occasionally leaves my lil one watching a cartoon (she loves the Chinese one named Kai-lan)so I can get a shower or do dishes without a clingy baby holding on to my feet? What do you do? Do you allow your children to watch TV? If so how much? Do you have bigger kids? How much TV do they watch? Is it affecting their behaviour and lifestyles? Obesity? Aggressiveness? Weigh in on the discussion and let us know.

GARFIELD's CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND FOR JAMAICA

2009-11-12T14:26:00.003-06:00

AN AMAZING CHRISTMAS EVENT FOR CHILDREN AND THE ENTIRE FAMILY. PARK ACTIVITIES INCLUDE, GARFIELD'S LIVE SHOW, CARTOON CHARACTERS, PETTING ZOO, COCO JAM, CHIKY'S LAND, RIDES AND GAMES, SANTAS VILLAGE, CANDY LAND, SCOTIA BANKS LOUNGE, FOOD COURT, YOGA FOR CHILDREN, SHOPPING VILLAGE, GIVE AWAYS, FACE PAINTING AND SO MUCH MORE. IN JAMAICA FOR THE FIRST TIME. DEC 18TH TO 20TH HOPE GARDENS EASTERN ENTRANCE OFF OLD HOPE ROAD. PARKING AT JAMAICA COLLEGE AND HOPE GARDENS CAR PARK HOPE PASTURES ENTRANCE.

The lawns of Hope Gardens in Kingston will be transformed for three exciting days when Garfield’s Christmas Wonderland comes to town from December 18 to 20. The ultimate family event, all three days, from the Friday to the Sunday will be chockfull of activities designed for every member of the family. The organizers promise “a full entertainment package geared at the whole family”. The brainchild of Peter Shoucair, he says the idea to do this kind of event came about because of “the lack of quality family entertainment.”

According to Shoucair, “There are limited opportunities for the family to go out and enjoy themselves, especially in this kind of easy, funfilled atmosphere and Christmas is a time when families come together, so we figured this would be an ideal treat.”

Garfield Christmas Wonderland will be the first of its kind in the island and will see kids getting the chance to interact with cartoon characters such as Garfield, Batman, Krypto The SuperDog, Pink Panther, Care Bears, and local cartoon characters such as KFC’s Chicky and Chubby from Jamaica Beverages. Other attractions will be Santa Claus “coming in from the North Pole,” according to Shoucair. For a small fee, kids can go to Santa’s Village, take photos with him, and in addition to that will have free access to Candyland where they can enjoy free candy. While the kids are amusing themselves adults can take the opportunity to go to the shopping village and get a head start on their Christmas shopping,” Shoucair added.

Tons of attractions will be available over the three days and they all come under the price of one ticket. The activities include one free ride in the amusement park, meeting and greeting all the DC Comics’ characters and a 60-minute seated live Garfield show done twice per day – at 2:00 pm and again at 6:00 pm. The perks do not stop there as ticket price also covers other attractions such as the petting zoo, free access to Coco Jam — actually a children entertainment complex in Barbican Plaza. This will be set up within the venue, and also includes KFC’s Chicky Land, rides and games, , a shopping village and children yoga classes.

There will be no parking at the venue…but return shuttle service will be provided throughout the day to and from the two parking spots which are at Jamaica College and Hope Gardens (next to the bandstand). Entrance to the Hope Gardens parking lot is via Hope Pastures only.

Limited pre-sold tickets at venues now. Copy Cat, Training Camp, Coco Jam, Young’s Pharmacy, May Pen, Mailbox MoBay, Broadway Surprise, Clock Tower Plaza and in some schools.

Garfield’s Christmas Wonderland is sponsored by TVJ, KFC and Pizza Hut, Scotiabank, New Line Motors, Jamaica Beverages, ATL, Jamaica Observer, JIIC, Marksman, King Alarm, Shakti, Jamaica Pegasus, Oasis, New Line, Tru Juice, Breezes, Trident, Guardsman Group, among others and is endorsed by the Jamaica Tourist Board, the Ministry of Education and the Child Development Agency.

Go on and check it out!!

November is Parent Month

2009-11-10T08:41:00.006-06:00

Wow did you know that there is an entire month dedicated to parents? Does this mean we can just sit back on the beach, with a glass of lemonade? getting an Oceanside massage? Come on dream with me a little... Or do we sleep in all day while the older kids bring us breakfast in bed and a wonderful nanny (who appears out of no where) ensures that the smaller kids allow you to just rest? ahhh almost surreal eh? Well if only, just think of it this way, parent month isn't so much about being pampered, but it is more about getting active and engaging in activities planned for your and your children's benefits. I know it doesn't sound quite as appealing as the previous 'fantasy' but many years later when that child or children turn to you and say a genuine 'Thank you' your heart will melt and you will know that it was all worth it.

So on speaking with Ms, Georgia Garvey, Communications Manager for the Child Development Agency, it was disclosed that November is Parent's month and for the month certain key activities will be held as outlined below:

12 Nov, 2009-Parenting Workshop at the Min of Education, Caenwood Centre, 37 Arnold Road, Kingston 5.

19 Nov, 2009- World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse.

19 Nov, 2009- Parenting Expo at the Min of Education's Mandeville Office

20 Nov, 2009- Special Movie Discount on "A Christmas Carol in 3D" at Palace Multiplex and Odeon Cineplex. 5 p.m. shows only. (For one night only- When a parent takes a child aged 3-11 years to the participating cinema, that parent will pay for one child's ticket and the parent gets a free ticket)

20 Nov, 2009- Universal Children's Day

20 Nov, 2009- forum with UNICEF to mark the 20th Anniversary of the signing of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

25 Nov, 2009- Literacy Fair and Parenting Expo at Rousseau Primary School.

25 Nov, 2009- International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

26 Nov, 2009- Early Childhood Parent Expo and awards at Ferngrove Resource Centre, Ocho Rios

26 Nov, 2009- Parenting Expo at Portmore Community College.

28 Nov, 2009- Family Reading Day

For further information, contact the Office of the Children's Advocate or the Child Development agency.

Parent Month is organised by the Coalition for Better Parenting under the theme Parent the Right Way: Read with your child everyday