What's eating you?

2013-01-08T12:02:00.001-08:00

I have gotten some questions to who I am that is posting on this blog. Well, first off that is a great question, I have spent the last 10 years searching for my true self. And unfortunately on that road I fell into the hands of anorexia, trying to work-out and eat less in a way of becoming more beautiful/popular/attractive(you name it. Let me tell you it did not work..but back to the question!
My name is Helena. And I am a swedish-american woman in her young 20's. Currently in college. Gonna become a physical therapist :-) Want to know more? Shoot me an email or check out this vid:

Portia De Rossi's Unbearable Lightness part II

2013-01-06T15:00:00.003-08:00

If I had known what popularity my Portia de Rossi post would lead to! None of my other posts are even close to that when it comes to visits. I want to follow up that post with another picture of her recovery. I google her a lot (as well as read her book) and the fact that she has done so well boosts my self esteem every time!

First off I want to give some cred to her wonderful and inspiring book Unbearable Lightness. I have read it several times and her life-long battle with anorexia is grabbing my heart each time! Here are, yet again, some pictures of her what she looks like today, as of year 2013: I mean how GORGEOUS she is at a healthy weight!

2013-01-06T14:13:00.001-08:00

Happy 2013!
It is a new year and a new opportunity to live a good life, full of all the energy a great life should be full of! The last decade I have spend starving myself and trying to lose more weight each year. This years resolution is to be a happier and healthier version of myself :-) The last year I have gained 40 lbs...which is like 17 kgs... and it is probably the best thing I have done so far

A couple of posts ago I showed a picture of Lizzie Miller's tummy as she posed for Glamour Magazine, a picture that rocked the fashion-world by being completely...normal! :-) And we loved it!
My tummy has always been my 'issue' and I have had many battles with it for the past 10 years, about it being too big, too pale, too doughy and I have been hurting it by not putting the food and nutrition it needs into it as well as I have been abusing laxatives. But today my tummy and I have a better relationship, so this post is a celebration to MY TUMMY:

I officially LOVE YOU! xoxo Helle

2012-11-10T05:08:00.001-08:00

I am a huge fan of Susan Liddy and her blog postings on Huffington Post. She writes about the female body in a wonderful, poetic, almost religious way! She wants more women to love and be proud of their bodies, and she is presenting devastating facts about how many women out there who are unhappy with how they look, and that would do anything to change their bodies.

Read and enjoy this passage where Susan is talking about the fantastic bodies we have;

"The human body is an utterly amazing creation. Even a basic consideration of its functions boggles the mind. Neurons connect to the nervous system, the nervous system connects our muscles and hair-trigger messaging occurs at lightening speed.

Every component is composed of microscopic cells, tiny self-regenerating entities numbering in the trillions. Yet, somehow it all comes together, each intricate system functioning in a harmonious symphony conducted masterfully by the brain.

This exquisite miracle of biology makes it possible for us to move around in the world and to experience it with all of our senses. It is the foundation of our very being. Shouldn't it be easy to sit back and simply appreciate our bodies for all they are and all they do for us?"

Read the entire post at Susan's blog . .. and more importantly: be proud and love your body! You will only have one :)

Disturbing dolls

2012-11-07T07:59:00.001-08:00

What we teach our young girls through the sales of the Barbie doll:

There are two Barbie dolls sold every second in the world.
If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.
At 5'9" tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled "How to Lose Weight" with directions inside stating simply "Don't eat."

Source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/galia-slayen/the-scary-reality-of-a-re_b_845239.html

Dove's powerful message

2012-11-06T09:00:00.001-08:00

I am usually hesitant to all types of corporations or beauty-industry companies, but with this commercial I think Dove really hit it home. I watch this clip with horror, as youngsters around the world are just drowning in the message that the beauty industry tries to convey. This is a huge part in why so many people suffers from discomfort with themselves, their bodies and appearance.

Dare to look the other way, you know only dead fish follow the current...

Ridiculous Ralph!

2012-10-07T07:28:00.002-07:00

The fact that I grew up in a society where being thin and pretty is portrayed to be the most important thing in life, is on of the reasons to why I fell ill with anorexia. That is also why few things makes me more mad and sad than when pictures in advertising and media are altered and models made to look a way that is impossible to achieve!

Ralph Laurens ad campaign in 2009 almost made my morning coffe come out my nose (!) when I saw it in a magazine. The model Filippa Hamilton's waist had been photoshopped to insanity!

What ideal does this set for young women all over the world? How does a company like Ralph Lauren think a woman's body look like? Who could possibly be their customer?

The good thing to this story is that Filippa herself set her foot down and went to the press saying that she does not accept the photoshopping that was done. Very brave! The thanks from R.L? Well, she was fired soon after for being "overweight"...

Filippa is a brave woman and a whistleblower for healthy beauty and I think it is very strong to stand up to a large company and say; this is not me and I do not stand for this!

Do yoga for your inner peace!

2012-09-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

Can practicing yoga help in the recovery from eating disorders? Well, I have always believed so! During my recovery I took classes in yoga paired with mindfulness, breathing exercises and body awareness - and it made me look at and move my body in a different way! It also helped with my panic attacks and it took my focus away from disordered thoughts filling up my head.

That is why I am so excited when more and more studies on this subject keep popping up! I read a real interesting study from Complementary Therapies in Medicine where they looked at patients with BED, Binge Eating Disorder, and it showed that a 12-week yoga program along with yoga performed at home decreased the number of binges and increased the physical activity level of the patient! I am not saying that yoga is a cure, but it can be a complement to other forms of therapy and medical help for an eating disorder. And my opinion is that more recovery centers should start having yoga and mindfulness on their weekly schedule for their patients!

I am actually in training to become a fitness instructor (alongside my university studies in physiotherapy) and I want to focus on yoga and mindfulness - so watch out 'cause maybe soon I will be starting up a class you can join! Until then, keep checking the blog and please e-mail me any correspondance, thoughts, tips, or recovery stories! xoxo

Beautiful, Brave, Bodylicious!

2012-09-22T03:36:00.002-07:00

This picture keeps coming back to me, so I thought I'd share it with you all! Lizzie Miller is the model who created a media-storm in 2009 by showing of her real, beautiful body, free from airbrush tanning, retouching and computermade modifications.

Showing of her body and especially her tummy is brave and inspiring for all us out there who only get bombarded with size zeros an Kate Mosses. It is a lesson in learning to love youself!
Or in her own words; "I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn't perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it's not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too."

Way to go Lizzie!

http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html

A closer look on Bulimia

2012-09-16T05:58:00.001-07:00

I have updated my ED guide pages and it is now filled with information about not only Anorexia but also Bulimia. Keep checking back because I will soon dig deeper in the issues of binge eating disorder (BED) and ortorexia. The information is too long to post in full-length in the blog page but here comes a summary:

Bulimia Nervosa (from greek: meaning ravenous or insatiable hunger) is a serious eating disorder and mental illness characterized by binging on large amounts of food which is then followed by attempts to get rid of the food through purging (throwing up), using laxatives, extreme exercise or committing to bouts of very restrictive eating.

Bulimia is more common in occurrence than anorexia and is also more common in women than men. It affects nearly 1% of the people in the United States (3 % of the female population) at some time in their life and although that might sound like a small number, it corresponds to millions of individuals! Another scary statistic is that bulimia’s frequency of occurrence has doubled since the 1960s - something we have to put a stop to!

What are some common bulimic signs and symptoms?

· Secrecy surrounding eating

· Alternating between overeating and fasting

· Obsession about food, calories and fat content

· Going to the bathroom after meals

· Excessive exercising, especially after eating

· Calluses or scars on the knuckles or hands

The consequences of bulimia are many and often dangerous; in rare cases it can even be fatal. It affects the individual in a number of ways including impacting his/her physical, mental and social health. It can destroy the teeth with dental cavities and enamel erosion (from the stomach acids) as well as cause stomach ulcers and open soars in the throat and mouth from purging. Electrolyte imbalances (low potassium levels) are common and can lead to heart rhythm problems or even heart failure. Other consequences are loss of menstruation, muscle weakness and severe fatigue or fainting. Bulimia is often linked with depression and it is estimated that in half of the cases the individual is battling these two conditions at the same time.

The treatment of this complex disorder is very critical and usually the earlier the disorder is detected – the better. But remember that it is never too late to seek treatment! I always encourage everyone to get help because there is a lot that can be done for you even if you have been ill for years and years! One of the hardest challenges that faces people recovering from bulimia is to enforce and explore the attitude that a person’s self-worth is not based on weight or body-shape!

Portia de Rossi's unbearable lightness part II

2012-09-14T03:39:00.001-07:00

If I had known what popularity my Portia de Rossi post would lead to! None of my other posts are even close to that when it comes to visits. I want to follow up that post with another picture of her recovery. I google her a lot (as well as read her book) and the fact that she has done so well boosts my self esteem every time!

First off I want to give some cred to her wonderful and inspiring book Unbearable Lightness. I have read it several times and her life-long battle with anorexia is grabbing my heart each time! Here are, yet again, some pictures of her during her most severe descents into anorexia and also what she looks like today, as of year 2013: I mean how GORGEOUS she is at a healthy weight!

Today! :-)

Beating the eating disorder!

2012-09-08T10:54:00.001-07:00

Many times during my journey through bulimia and anorexia I have doubted myself and my strength. I start thinking that I will never be free from the disorder and that I will never be a healthy happy person again - just able to enjoy life. But these are very dangerous thoughts and most importantly: they are not TRUE! There is recovery from eating disorders and many very ill individuals
When in doubt I usually try to inspire myself by reading or looking into some "celebrity recoveries" and I try to think If they can do it so can I!

When the Crown princess of Sweden (soon to become queen) was in high school she was under a huge pressure from the media and from the fame along with school grades eand everything else a teenager is expected to accomplish. She quickly lost weight and it was confirmed that she suffered from anorexia nervosa. But she fought her way back, today she is married to her husband (and prince) Daniel, has a gorgeus daughter and she is rocking a beautiful body! Go Vic! :-)

Before:

Today!

Anorexia: a closer look

2012-08-29T10:45:00.001-07:00

Anorexia Nervosa is an eating disorder and a psychological disorder where dieting and controlling food intake becomes a preoccuation and main focus of the daily life. Some more key feautures are a distorted image of your own body, refusing to want to maintain a health body weight and also an intense fear of gaining weight. It can become very serious and severe, with thoughts about exercising, dieting, food, your body and purging becoming a full-time task and take up most of your day—leaving little time for friends, family, and other activities you used to enjoy. Life becomes a relentless pursuit of thinness and going to extremes to lose weight.

But no matter how skinny you become, it’s never enough. Because the main issue is not really about the food or the weight but the control and the (short) feeling of success that restricting food intake can give. Controlling the emotions of hunger can become almost euphoric and spending so much time thinking about weight and dieting becomes a 'safe place' where you do not have to face the hard emotions of other problems in your life. But the euphoria is shortlived and soon you will be facing even lower self-esteem, less control, depression and isolation along with an array of physical consequences!

While people with anorexia often deny having a problem, secrecy is a big part of disordered eating behavior, the truth is that anorexia is a serious and potentially deadly eating disorder. But remember - recovery from anorexia is absolutely possible and there is help to get! With proper treatment and support, you or someone you care about can break anorexia’s self-destructive pattern and regain health and self-confidence.

What are some common anorexic signs and symptoms?

Preoccupation with food, planning meals and cooking for others
Counting calories, weighing food and reading nutritional values before eating
Lying about eating or avoiding events where food will be present
Wearing baggy clothes to hide a rapid weight loss
Secretive behavior about food, eating alone or in ritualistic ways, hiding or throwing away food
Denial about weight loss and dieting
Obsession about scales and the weight in numbers or measurements (such as sizes)

It is not crystal clear why some people will fall ill with anorexia, it can come from a range of factors such as genetics, sexual or physical abuse, low self-esteem or high-level athletics. It does not even have to be a clear reason for the disorder, somehow resticting food intake came into your life when you were at a low point - and it became a way of coping with hardships. We do know that it is more common in females, but remember it can effect people from all gender, social classes and ages! If untreated, you can go on for decades with a disordered eating pattern and I have met elderly women in treatment being up to 70 years old. But it is never a day to late to start recieving treatment!

Hope this gave some insights! Keep checking back, I will continue on in an upcoming post and guiding you through bulimia - 'til then - be as happy as you can be!

Consequences of anorexia

2012-08-28T11:50:00.001-07:00

I will shortly be posting a longer article about anorexia, why it occurs, how to recognize the symptoms and how to take steps towards recovery. But I ran upon this image and just had to post it. I thought it was such a striking illustration of the physical consequences that anorexia has on your health. It is recognized as a mental disorder, but it is so important to remember that it has physical attributes and can actually be fatal! So please take care of yourselves and your loved ones!

How can I help a friend suffering from an eating disorder?

2012-08-26T04:41:00.001-07:00

This is the most common question I get from people, how to helpfully assist someone with an eating disorder. It is a tricky matter because many times the person suffering does not admit to being ill or is neglecting to see what damage he or she is doing to his/her body with the disordered pattern of eating and living. Here are some very helpful tips for loved ones who wants to help:

Offer to make the first phone call or doctor's appointment, ask your friend if it is OK for you to take the first step in getting help for your loved one
Don't judge! This behaviour is caused by an illness and you need to respect that it is not a personal flaw
Read and do research about eating disorders so that you have facts and information and know the background of the illness. This will get you more prepared for the battle
Talk to your loved one in private, tell him/her how very concerned you are and that youi are aware that it is a serious and possible deadly condition
Encourage them and tell your loved one that whenever he/she wants to talk about it - you will be there and ready to do so
Be aware of the decieving behavior, people suffering from eating disorders can be very manipulating and secretive
Do not give demands, ultimatums or get angry or aggressive - this will not assist your friend but can actually make him/her more secretive about the behaviors
Remember to get help for yourself! You are not the only one who has a loved one suffering, and there is a lot of support out there for you as well! You might actually want to talk to a professional about your worries as well.

These are some of the tips I have found helped me as well as my freinds and family in our battle against anorexia. Do you have more tips? Please e-mail me, or comment here, and I'll add them as well :-)

A letter to ED

2012-08-24T10:19:00.002-07:00

When I moved into my new apartment around christmas time I found some old writings and pictures I had saved in a special folder from my first time in treatment. Among those things was a handwritten letter I wrote to ED, the name I gave my eating disorder (abbreviaton of Eating Disorder). Reading it again today gave me the chills, what a tight grip he had me in and what he made me do. Reading this helps me to be even more confident that I never want to go back to that state of mind. Please excuse my language in the letter, ok here we go:

Aug 24th 2009
Dear Ed, I hate you! Before I met you I had everything. A social life, friends, family, success in school and an upcoming career in track and field. Then you came around and promised me you could improve all those things. If I followed your orders I would do better in school, jump higher at track meets, become more popular at parties and become heappier and healthier. You lied to me! Neither of those things came true!

Instead, because of you I stopped going out with my friends, stopped enjoying food and sweets, had to quit my track team and had to leave school to go to treatment. You made me want to die at times!
But I still believed your word and that you had my best in mind. Today I know better.

I never want to go back to a place were you can have power over me. I worked so hard to gain back everything that you took from me. I am going to work even harder to keep the ones I love close to me and to keep you out of my life. I deserv better than you, I deserv the best I can get.
Fuck you ED.

A college campus issue: eating disorders among students

2012-08-23T10:55:00.001-07:00

It was during my freshman year in college my anorexia started escalating beyond my control. Trying to fit into my new college environment came at a high price, I wanted to achieve so much and be successful in so many areas at the same time; academics, social life and varsity track, so I almost ended up killing myself in the journey there. By the time I was admitted to an eating disorder treatment program the scale showed I had lost 40 pounds over the course of fall semester and was severely underweight. I had been so determined to not gain the feared freshman fifteen that I had ended up losing the double by the means of starving myself, purging after meals, using laxatives and running on the track two times a day. A series of events and a way of living I would not even wish upon my worst enemy.

Newly graduated high school students are right now having busy days arriving at college campuses all over the country to start their first semester away from home. Housing forms and meal plan papers are filled in and doorm rooms are decorated and furnished. Expectations are high and the process is many times as exhilarating as nervous, we all know that coming to college is supposed to be a life-changing experience. My college years were no exception, but it did not happen in the way I had planned it all out and I certainly did not count on having to be admitted to a hospital before the end of my first year.

I remember my freshman orientation week and the lectures we received regarding safety, avoiding drinking and driving and resisting overeating in the all-you-can-eat dining halls. Very legitimate warnings, but it makes me wonder where the ammunition is to fight the increasing prevalence of eating disorders among college students? The United States is a world leader in counts of deaths due to eating disorders and anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses and is the 3^rd most common chronic illness among adolescents. Entering college I knew neither of these things, nor did my parents. But we would soon find us more familiar with this issue than we had ever wanted or expected and we want to prevent other families from having to face the exact same battles. We need to fight the stigma that surrounds talking about mental disorders and we need to put prevention on the campus orientation curriculum. We owe it to the millions of young men and women around American college campuses that compromise the future of our nation.

Those were the days!

2012-08-20T07:28:00.001-07:00

Oh, the ideal woman in the fashion magazine has not always been heroin-chic-skinny á la Kate Moss. Check out this ad from the 50-60's when diets where a no-no and curves were bliss!

Ugly truth or beautiful lie?

2012-08-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

Almost as far back as I can remember, anorexia and bulimia have had me in a tight grip. I have spent years and years of my life suffocating under these illnesses and the ideals of beauty and body that I so hard tried to achieve. After having to quit college a second time, and spent two long visits at two different treatment centers I have now made a commitment.
As of today I will treat my body and soul the way it deserves, and I will finish my college studies in physical therapy. I will blog about my experiences as a former eating-disordered young woman and I will try to push everyone around me to a healthier place and find acceptance of who I am :-)

Follow me on this trip exploring the skinny ideals of today's world..Why are they the way they are? How can we accpet ourselves and our beautiful bodies and not give in for the pressure that today 's ideals are having on us? How can we prevent young people from falling into the same trap that I (and many with me) have fallen into? Are we going to let eating disorder prevalence rise or are we going to do something about it?