Jerkulez's Ay Kallaaam!!

Zealous much...

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 08:47:00 +0000

هي الحياة

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 09:43:00 +0000

تســاقـطت أعبائي كغصن جفت أوراقه
وأحسـست بهرب أيامي كما القطار غير عابئ

فهي كصور في زخم الحياة تفاصيلها مكتملة
و وجدتني أنظر إليها فشاحت عني أنظارها
فتتأججت مشــاعري كطفل يبكي
وخرت قوأي بعد طول معترك

طفقت أقبل عليها فهمت هي بيا
إبتسـمت لها فضحكت فبكيت أنا
لا أبغي فراقها وقد قتلني ركودها

هي كانت كأحلام الواقع
فأبيت أن لا تكون واقع أحلامي

و أطبقت علي قلم جف كلماته
عله يجود علي كما جاد من قبلي

تفكرت فأنكرت وجودي
وقبلته فأنهكني إختفائي

و أبتسـمت و أنا أكتب كلماتي
فهي بلا معني و لكنها حالي

The River and Me...

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 08:37:00 +0000

As i stopped to grab a breath and look around me, i saw that everything was the same;
The world was colored the same, smelled the same, even tasted the same.....

All Grey, I couldn't see anything form the thick forest of fog and mist, i extended my arms, only to get swallowed by the mist.....it was getting thicker, and the more i stood still, the more engulfed by the clouds i became..i had to move, had to keep going on.....

I then closed my eyes, concentrating on enhancing my hearing, i had to bare the fog, now almost up to me chest....i listen, still listen....i could hear breeze, then i heard water.

Opened my eyes and took one last look, before i started moving out in the direction i thought i heard the water come from; as i washed away the fog from me, i picked up speed, and while still trying to listen to the water, i followed the gust of wind no starting to blow.

I stopped, and again closed my eyes to listen....'It's that direction' i said to myself. I started to move towards the sound again, this time clearly hearing water, a running stream it seems; as i keep on moving, i notice my body doesn't feel heavy like before; 'is the mist growing lighter?' i thought; i kept my course steady and went on...and the suddenly, sun rays hit my eyes, blinded by the sudden exposure to light, i held my hand in front of my eyes for while, trying to slowly welcome light back into me again, i can feel the warmth building in, the feel of sun of my skin and the breeze on my face; slowly i open my eyes...

Breath taken for moments, the view in front me spread vast as vision can reach, wide meadows of green pasture and brown sticks of tree and in the middle, a blue line of water; a painting so simple yet so obsolete, so refreshing and contradicting to what i was in before, i look back and i see green, where has the fog gone?

Not giving it thought, i walk towards the stream, and the more i approached the running water, the bigger that blue line became. In the distance i could make out a figure of an old man waving, was he waving to me? He must, there is no one around but me, so it's got to be me.

Making my way in the direction of the old man, i started to slightly run, i don't know why i did so, but it's that feeling of invigoration, the harder i run, them ore lighter i feel, distance closing in fast, i draw closer to the old man, his face becoming clearer, i can tell he held such a sweet caring smile, finally reaching the old man, i gasp for air..... hmmmph...pooof!

- Hi, where am i?

- Take a deep breath first, Hesham

As i inhale a deep fresh batch of air, i take a closer look at the old man, he had the figure that suggests he was well built when he was young, white silky hair and clear water like blue eyes, you can clearly see the marks of time on his old face, yet it all comes wonderfully to give you serenity unparalleled.

- How do you know my name? Where am i? Who are you?

- I am but an old man, and you are here in my land; he said with a smile

- Why am i here? i don't understand....

- Well let me tell you a story, walk with me.

- Long time ago this river you see here, was just a small stream, its beginning ways far from here, the river vigorous and young, it used to sweep down the shores, unrelenting and uncontrollable, this river used to dash through both mud and stone, setting to reach out its journey's end, but no matter how long the river ran, the path never ended.

The old man stops to look around, i can see a joyful smile as he takes the surroundings around him in, not wishing to interrupt him, i myself try to grasp whatever i can from the beauty around me, in my failed attempts i open my eyes to find the old man looking at me and laughing..

- Wish you could see you face, what were you doing?

- What happened to the river then? i asked, embarrassed to answer his previous question

- Ah yes! well the river started to get weary and tired of aimlessly flowing, and many times thought of giving up and just being a stream, maybe that's what he was always intended to be, nothing more, nothing less; and in the midst of his tired thoughts, he came upon another small stream, that little stream was young and crazy, flowing all around, she sensed the river was sad, approached him and asked, what is wrong river Sir? i am not a river (not yet) i am just a big stream, but a stream still and i have been flowing for a long time looking for my ocean, but i can't find it, and i have grown weary and tired.

- But river Sir, i see you have a lot of riches within you, waiting to flow and its the journey that counts, you get to meet other streams and rivers, like me; and your story is yet to be told.

- 'Maybe it is little one' Said the river, for now i have a path i must choose, and no matter what, i never regret what i have done before, lets move on and i know one day i will meet my ocean, and on my journeys i will make new friends, grow stronger with their support and flow faster.

- Years gone by and the river flows, making friends, choosing paths, loosing way, but always coming back, refusing to be just another stream, the river grow bigger, more stronger, much more richer and he was never along....then one day, the river met the ocean and a thing of beauty it was, you could swear you didn't see anything of the like, for the river has finally reached his goal, reached the end of his journey he has been on so long.

His story now over the old man stood still, closed his eyes, spread his arms and started to laugh
seeing how happy he was, i couldn't help but start laughing myself, as i slowly spread my arms, i rotated around myself, i could now feel it, i could finally feel the place.

After ages of moments, and holding on to breath from the laughter, i raise my hand to the old man and smile back at him, it was my first smile since i came to this place; thank you i thought, and as if he read my mind, he patted my back and looked to me, and i looked back at him, those blue eyes seems familiar to me, i thought to myself, where did i see them before.

- Has this answered your question, why and how?
With gratitude in my eyes, i nodded my head yes, whispering 'thank you, my old man'

As he turns his back and starts moving away, i can only stand there, feeling heavy yet satisfied,
the fog around me started building up, and i was rapidly loosing sight of the scenery in front of me ' Old man, Old man!' but he could not hear me; i can hear the sounds of beeps and my body starts shaking gently....the beeps grow louder and i can hear a female voice saying "wake up Hesham, your gonna be late to work"....as i open my eyes i look at the alarm beeping next to me and look and her with a smile " was it a good dream" she said; 'It was' i said still half asleep, remembering the dream, i remember calling out at the end 'Old Man, Hey! old man, how did you know all of this? Tell me please'

The old man turns and looks again at me.... 'well! how else silly, I am the River, I am your RIVER''

Today!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:02:00 +0000

Today, i sat in front of a small water fountain, the street at my back with cars passing by, while the wind blows a slightly coldish breeze at my face

Today, i sat in a small garden with a fountain, while the sun spread its glowing hue over the silhouette of 3 tall structures that threw its shadow upon me

Today, i had a notebook, i sat and i thought, i listened to the breeze and i felt the sounds around me

Today, i found a pen in my pocket, i toke it out and held it high and started gazing at it.

Today i wrote on some paper with my pen, and to my astonishment, the words were flowing as if the ink was shaping itself into words.

Today, was different! Today was nice.

Today i lost my notebook that i wrote in!!!

Today is still nice and surely different :D

Screw That!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:53:00 +0000

I am aggravated, agitated, angered, annoyed, bothered, bummed, disappointed, enraged, irked, irritated, offended, peeved, vexed, upset, and feeling wookie*

Yesterday i flunked my second trial at obtaining a driving license in these forsaken desert land of a country called......... (where i work, not where i am from) seems like my ten years of driving is not good enough for these camel riding -now rich all in cars- idiotic morons.

I failed my first time, because it's an unsaid rule that no foreigners pass from first go, afraid that it might be called as doing favors and such! OK, so i go, do my thing, drive and do what the examiner has instructed and fail with flying fuckin colors -note 1 to my fellow readers, i had somebody on the inside- that same somebody was able to secure me anther trial after 10 days -note 2, if you fail you need at least a month before trying again- and so i waited for my chance of getting that ever elusive, hardest fuckin thing achievable in this country -the shit piece plastic from hell card 'The Laisyn'- as the natives call it.

And so the anticipated day arrives, with words of prayers from the family, work and friends, as if i am going to war, promises that this time it is for sure; "I have talked to the guys myself, don't worry" said my contact on the inside, and with his fake words i felt a light breeze, hope shined weak, finally today, i will become a man.

Got into the car, went into the training area, and waited my turn, in the process got shifted from exam area to another three time, with each time, be becoming more gloomier, and the examiner more sadistic and non bearing -note 3, Ramadan, no coffee, no smoke, nothing- finally my turn, i gave him my card, and thinking to myself he should be giving me the easy test now, after all i had someone on the inside set things up, but did he; Fuck No, he gave the hardest test; parallel parking in -a fit your car only if you land it there space- did i fret, nope nor did i flinch, put on the waiting sign and started parking the car, let just say it wasn't the smoothest or best parked car, but it was parked, yet the goat drinking officer felt that couldn't suffice, and told me to go on my way (that's how i knew i failed)

On the outer brinks of hell, as i gradually approach a place of agony and misfortune and misery
i waited for the inevitable call, did i pass, or did i not? My gut feeling told me not, yet for some reason the guy with me trying being all optimistic and shit, saying maybe, who knows, maybe...well i freakin hate maybes; and true to my feel, i got the card back with the word 'Failed' on it, i felt like i am a kid waiting on his high school grades, and couldn't make his parents proud.

There were guys i could tell that failed for the fifth or sixth time ( you have up till 10 times before you get reset all over), just because his salary is not good enough, or the job title was menial. Oh how they trumped the heart of men, so violently, so viciously; to satisfy their bruised -always wanting more- egos.

Yet i am a true believer in the 'what happens, does happen for a reason' motto, although i am yet to find out the reason, i stand my course on trying to get the license, or i will go back home, it's not even worth the humiliation of not having a car -note 4, i work in sales- If anything good came out of this ordeal, it would be, you reading this, either feeling my pain or laughing at it, most important is, i had fun writing it, and truly hope you had fun reading it

* Feeling Wookie: A state of barbaric anger with incoherent voice growls, due to frustration and too much Star Wars!

Glimpses of World

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:40:00 +0000

WHEN

Winds roar in the midst of anguished clouds

Mosaics of celestial stars form on the canvas sky

A motion breeze that captures the still moment

Undying pledge of yet to be born days

Secret truths that resonates with bearing lies

Will succumbs to the call of nature god

Life resumes as we pause our lives

Sanction enthroned uncovering the vial

Time wonders why still we choose to stay

Inverted is the pyramid of priorities lost to vain

Falling upwards to reach the bottom

THEN

Space void of emotions

Crumble to stand strong

Hurt to mend our world

Collision course set to evade

A love that destroys

The fulfillment of negativity

Build only to break

Die to be remembered

Selection of the unsuitable

Freedom of the dead

Wavering hopes of dying wishes

Shadows that light our ways

Directions to lose sight of goals

From

Mind screaming

Heart aching

Soul vanishing

Wound inflecting

Pain ravishing

TO

Dreams

Wishes

Thoughts

Feelings

Smiles

My conversation

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 08:17:00 +0000

The scene....
A misty background, a foggy filled air; looking around I are not sure if it is dark illuminated or light darkened, there is light yet there is no source, slowly I start making out walls and paths that look like corridors, further more I recognize what looks like doors randomly located along these corridor walls. Lastly I see a silhouette figure; I can't really make out the dimensions, as everything in that space seems to be from the same origin, the figure starts becoming more vivid, detaching itself from the surroundings, taking its own shape.

The figure....
As the shape slowly comes to live; I can tell that it is somehow tall, a bit rough at the edges, with what seems to be a mess of hair on that midsized head. I zoom closer, trying to make out the shadow, clearly its male (I just know), looks like he's wearing a coat (I come to this conclusion form the uniformity of the wear ending below the knee). The posture of the figure was not that of strength, of confidence, but of weakness, it looked old, looked tired.

Picture rotates, I now stand in front of the figure, I look for any facial distinction, yet I can't make out any, somehow I only feel that a sad look is drawn on his face

The time....
Time has no rule here, it's neither day nor is it night, I am always at the same moment indefinitely, yet we can see, feel things change around us!

The story….
"Ehm ehmm! Hello! May you help me" I say gently
The figure doesn't move or show reaction that he heard me, suddenly he starts moving fast towards one of the corridors and to a door, stops and it is as if he was looking back to me, then he opens and enters the room.

Heeding what seems to be an invite, I run to the corridor afraid that if I was to be late I would be lost. As I approach the corridor, the light pulsates more strongly and once I entered the light was fully on. Out of breath and what seemed like eternity, I take a glimpse back to where I was, and for my surprise there was a wall behind me, when was there a wall?

Hand on knob, I can hear my heart screaming, slowly I turn the knob and open the door, not forgetting to look for any signs, I can make out "Con......".

"Conscience??" I say to myself, "What does it mean? Where the hell am I?"
The room is pitch dark, oddly yet, at the far corner I can make out the shadow standing there

"Where is this? Who are you?” no answer.

"Why am I here? Am I dead"....still no answer. I gradually get more nervous and aggressively shout "Answer me Dammit", adding a little sneering a like a wounded camel

"Relax, no need to be afraid"
"I am Zelu Krej, you can call me Ze"

"Where is this?"

"This is nowhere and everywhere"

"I don't understand"

"You will eventually"

"Why am I here?"

"Ask yourself that, I've always been here"

"Have I been here before?"

"Yes"

"When?"

"Last time was a few years back, don't you remember"

"............."

" So why are you here Jerkulez?"

"How do you know my name?"

"I know a lot of things about you, you'd be surprised"

"..........."

"So what brings you here"

"I am not sure, I feel heavy at heart, with a burden that shoulders me motionless....."
"Go on...”

"I feel like I am not what I used to be, not the same person"

"You're not, you have changed, and all these times, change has taken its toll on you"

I stared blankly at the empty yet occupied space in front of me

"You are not as pure as you once were, something different is in you, and that's why you are here now"

"......I...I.." words get caught up midway through my vocal cords

"You have grown up, sacrificed old values for new, replaced good with bad"
"Forgot friends, neglected family and abandoned God"
"Your drive for ever more success, for more money, more women, made you change"
"You let go of principals, let go of love, left understanding, threw out compassion"
"Became more scenic, more wicked, more evil"

"St...stoop" I hardly mutter

"Remember that time you passed an old lady, trying to cross a street and you just went on your way as if nothing was, you didn't even think about it, before, you'd help, but now, you have changed"

"Pleaassee, sttooop"

"Remember another time, you didn’t pray so you can go to the movies, pray later you thought to yourself, and went to bed without praying it at the end"

".............."

As he continued slowly stated my wrongdoings, I felt weaker, more shameful, couldn't look up
"I'm not all bad, I helped that woman out, when she had a flat tire" I said in defense for myself

"And why did you do so? Wasn't it because you were flirting in process and not out of genuine good"

"Bu....but...but...I helped"

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH", the voice bombarded me, shattering all my defenses

I fell to my knee, hiding my face in my palms "Sorry...sorry...I am sorry"

"Remember 12/05/03, the birthday party........."
"Remember07/10/04, that time at the store......"
.
.
.
.
.
"Remember yesterday, the moment you said those words to your mother and how she cried"
"Look at me and tell me how you feel"

I hold up my face to my astonishment I find the once dark room lit up.
"How...?"

"Each time I stated a wrong deed, it was lifted and the room lit a bit"
"Now stand up, do you still feel burdened?"

I rose on my feet gradually, and an overwhelming feeling of liteness got over me

"Wow, I feel good, that's strange, I feel comforted, feel confident, feel like the old days"
"How did you do this....magic, hypnotism?"

"Conversation" the voice replied, as I made out a hint of a smile in the still dark face

"Am I dead? was that judgment day?"

"No, simply sleeping, simply dreaming"

"Where is this place?"

"The halls of your mind"

A still moment passed as we both looked each other directly, conveying more than words can ever say

".,..And who are you?"

"Doesn't the name Zelu Krej remind you of anything JerKuleZ “

Shockingly I stared as the figure reveals a mirror reflection of myself, but with a confident, strong, healthy stance, different than that of before.

"I am You" pausing for a while as this fact sank into my soul

"Thank you. I have gotten weak over the years for the lack of visits from you, got more burdened for every bad thing you did, and I thought it would be it for me. But after all that time, you finally showed up, again my thanks for giving me back my glory"

We share some laughs, some of the good memories and as I excuse myself to leave, he looks at me "Visit more often, don't let this happen again"

"Promise I will, take care and thank you"

Making my way out of the room, I close the door behind me and started heading towards the exit
Not forgetting, again I take a quick glimpse back, to read that what was on the door sign

"Ahh, that’s why, now I know, now I understand"

Camera rotates, then zooms on the door sign......
.
.
.
The sign read "Conscience"

Shabab Masry Gedan!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 17:12:00 +0000

El-Shab el-Misry (Masrawy youth), is an individual of such uniquenesses, that i felt i must dedicate an article about them (me being one in name). In this article we try to take a look at the genres of Shabab and the interrelations between them.

How many types of youth do we have? Answer: 4, there are four major kinds of El-Shab El-Misry; 1- Shab el-3rbyat, 2- El-Shab el-7ormagy, 3- Shab el2hawi and 4- Shab el-Kora; in turn these four encase some more sub-categories of Shabab, that we will mention later on

For the first type, all guys (well most of 'em anyway) love cars, but then you get the few who are not just into cars, they take things to a new level with mod-ing the car, fine tuning it, changing some of the features, and adding loud ass stereos to a car, as if you can only be hip if you have an enough loud system (earth quacking) in your car, side-effects when getting in direct contact with that music, include chest pains, temp deafness, and loss of precious IQ points, and I'm not gonna even mention the sing along and car dancing that some do....what is up with that!!!! Shabab el-Autocross is the sub category of this group (what better way to enjoy cars than to drag and drift race and have a body count of innocent bystanders)

Type 2, dedicate their lives solely for the purpose, the conquest of the most number of women possible in a given time (usually the teen years), and in this era, even morons are getting a piece of the action, just half-tuck, slide down, spike it and smile and your pretty much set, in your pursuit of meaningless goals, let me be very clear on this, NO MAN can deny his love for the female species, yet how we approach makes all the difference. A subsidiary of this genre is Shab el-party (youth who hit all parties because they know it's a good hunting grounds for single or flock of chicks).

In many cases Shab 1 might be Shab 2 as well, as proven ions ago, chicks and cars go hand in hand, the better your car (yes i do mean money), the more hot the chick you can score. In other cases Shab 2 tags along with Shab 1, with mutual benefit outlying their relationship, Shab1 provides the drive, Shab 2 provides (at least tries) the entertainment.

The most norm and common of them all is the type 3 dude; i mean who doesn't love soccer (besides Eskimo tribes, Penguins and the Americans) But that which seems normal, is yet the worst addiction possible, you start prioritizing life in accordance to your team's league schedule, given the chance to play real soccer or watch a game, you choose to watch the game and make the decision in a split second, stay in to watch those non important games and has his room and car painted / decorated in the teams color, when you know the names of the entire staff of coaches, then it's time to find another hobby to go along this one! A funny sub category of Shabab shine here, Shabab el-PS (those, sit hours to end playing the winning eleven, choosing the same teams every time non the less, tremendously enjoying themselves, weird enough, it seems this condition is only applicable to Arabs, whose sole reason for the PS2 pr PS3 is soccer, and that is just ignorant and pathetic)

The last of those, is something we Egyptians pride ourselves upon, to be able to sit and spend that much time in one place, namely a coffee house or the more common 2hwa, conversing in the matters of their morning lives, this place is where the shesha boy is one of your best friends, and the waiter is like the cousin you never had; when you start to discuss life with them, you know it's time to change and find a new place, a very evident example of this lifestyle would have to be "On-The-Run", which we actually treat as 'On-The-Stay', Now it's normal to just go out and spend your day at a gas station! Shabab el-WiFi are the sub born out of this groups womb (FaceBooking and playing online games (to use the speed), characterize those new modern coffee house customers)

Type 4 being a dominant behavior, connects with all types, more so with type 3 (as these guys tend to sit down to watch the games in groups at some place), Genre 4 guys tend to have the most info and the least actual experiences, and that is only achieved through stories of others

A non-honorable mention here is, Shabab el-mo'7adarat, but these don't deserve a place on this rooster, although they are loads of fun!

I myself, have times i fall into each one of those groups (not the last one though), yet I'm a more of do it all kinda guy, i have the car, got my lady friends, like the good amount of soccer and enjoy a good gathering in a good place.....A normal Egyptian yet not so Egyptian dude!

Life Lines!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:25:00 +0000

Born into this world, we come bare!
into this world, in nothing we care!

a clean slate, we are ready to learn
different lessons, and to examples we turn

shaped to mimic other's people thought
we eventually never do what we were taught

And pure and true we try to be
honest to oneself and for others to see

That one day we might all stand tall
and to our origins we will heed the call

In the end we all want to be proud
raise our heads and shout out loud

Through obstacles and pain we bled
And from the shackles of time we fled

Through life, memories were etched
the plans for next generations, sketched

Sound the horns, raise the flags
as we ready to leave, we leave our bags

Steps nearing our final rest
we tried, we really did out best

Out in the wind, water and land we walked
And one last time we gazed affront and talked

We were here, we lived good
on the stairs of glory we stood

A life with no title!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:58:00 +0000

Our lives like story books, gets filled up with pages as days pass by, and what makes it all count is the journey it took to fill up these pages, the filling up of these pages is an accomplishment in its own right, but what tops that, what makes life so much more, what makes ppl interested in reading this book, is the title it has.

Sadly, most of us fill up these pages, good or bad, fulfilling or rubbish, just for the sake of having a so called life, but are at a loss to what call this story of life, titles depend on the person conceiving the title, it might be the funny one based on what that X of ppl think, or the kind, mature, listener, understanding, caring, sensitive, mean, evil, ugly, pretty, even tall, fat or deformed. The titles are many and diversified and i think, are not book titles but are rather chapter headings in this person's story book of life

Titles are that of grandeur and altering nature, some titles are of that scale on a number of ppl, where you altered or effected the lives of these select ppl, like the one who did charity in the neighborhood, or someone that helps ppl of the block to anything.
And others are of this scale on all of humanity; A genius is always compared to Einstein, although there are ppl who surpass him in terms of raw IQ power; An Athlete is always compared to Mohammad Ali, Michael Jordan and now Tiger woods in term of perfection both physically and mentally in and outside of court; an entrepreneur or business man is compared to Bill Gates in terms of success; a public speaker is compared to Martin Luther King Jr; a humanitarian is compared to Mother Theresa, and I'm not gonna even mention religious figures, these were normal ppl who transcended the shackles of being mere humans and became icons... kinda like Bruce Wayne when he became Batman.

So its up to us how we finish this book of life, and what title we choose to put on it, if it is fake, with time it will fall, as you come to know the title of your book is not something u put there urself, but it is something that you earn.

Back Home!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:48:00 +0000

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just landed in Cairo, thank you for travelling with ........ and hope you had a pleasant flight"

With this call, my suffering of 2.15 hrs of flight came to an end, as we prepped to get off the plane, all passengers were eager for a taste of the homeland; myself I was eager to just get off the damn plane. This had been the worst flight of my life.

It all started when I suddenly found that I had to leave the country I work in, to renew the visa and renter again later on, with one more day valid on the visa and that day being Friday (it was Thursday in the story timeline), I had to make haste to arrange plans to leave the country, so I called up someone I know, who then referred me to another, whom I talked to and then got referred to a third, after all the talking and explaining, I had managed to book a flight out of there on the same day, the flight would leave 11.55 pm, making it the last flight of the day.

So now relieved I was able to secure a ticket and that I’m good to go, I went home prepped a small bag (I was gonna stay a week at most), toke a shower and then went out to dine, went back home, slept for an hour, then woke up, showered, got dressed and started making my way to the airport. There I was appalled by how much ppl there was, massive lines on the counter and in every part of the airport, and here I thought, its night time, definitely gonna be better than morning, and oh man! was I wrong, it turn out the night flight is the worst flight ever, from the quality of passengers getting on board, to the number of plus accommodation the airplanes take, not to mention the luggage, I mean there where ppl having bags that weighed roughly as me (and I am heavy), whole families with gazillion bags, that not going to vacation or travelling (even if for a month); that is a complete transportation of you wardrobe, it was crazy.

Waiting in line, I turned my mp3 player on so I can deafen out the sounds around of fighting and socializing, until after an hour from standing in line I made my way into the counter (did I mentioned I only had 6 ppl before me), and to my luck, the plane got full and I was on standby, that's when I started getting irritated and paranoid I wasn’t gonna make it and I will break my visa curfew; after some talks and explaining how urgent this is, and seems everyone’s case was urgent, the airline ordered another plane be prepped for the same destination, and so things went back to normal and I went on with the proceedings, after 10 min doing everything else, I was finally at the gate, said my goodbyes to my bro and friend, got me a big ass coke from McD, waiting at the boarding gate and got on the corridor, once I came up on near the airplanes door, I was astonished to see different ethnic crew seating the ppl, and I was like, urrmm am I on the right plane, turns out I was, the airline company had so much passengers it actually rented a plane from another airline.

As I entered the plane, I could tell right away, that this won't be a comfy ride, the seats were M sized, while I am an XL individual, got to my seat, barely made myself fit, with one ass cheek out of the chair, and my whole body sitting mostly sideways.

One hour late, we got ready to take off; the whole thing was a mess with ppl having four bags with them and all trying to lodge them in the adjacent baggage compartment, which of course resulted in very funny moments, for me at least. The crew was dumbfounded at how the passengers were acting and clinging on to the bags, in the end they had to drop almost half the luggage ppl had so we can all be seated and ready to fly

The following moments are to painful to remember, so we will skip the horrendous flight, thank god it was a short one, at one moment a passenger was asking a crew member on the whole baggage thing, and they guy told him; simply it should be one bag per person, here everyone has more than 2 (I only had my laptop with me, and that’s only because its not safe to put in the bag)

Oh yeah, the seatbelt didn’t fit, I am big, but that never happened before, one of the smallest planes ever.

As the wheels hit the ground, suddenly a passenger popped up and started to make his way to the restroom; the crew stood there for a sec not comprehending, and then attacked the guy obstructing his path and shouting, telling him to sit his ass down, the guy is fighting back, he needs to go to the bathroom badly, saying that we landed, a crew member was telling the passengers to sit down, it’s still dangerous, and true to his word the plane made an abrupt break and half the passengers knocked their head, or fell.

In the midst of all that I was laughing so hard, never had I seen stupidity from the ppl flying, or poor handling from the crew (the landing sucked big time), luckily the exit door was next to my seat and so I made my way out fairly quickly, as I stood there for a brief moment to breath in my country's air, pollution struck with a funky smell, that made my nose twitch;
also I had imagined the scenario (overwhelming number of ppl) and had someone wait for me to speed up the process, once that was done in like zip minute, we moved on to the conveyor belt to get our bags, after a whole hour, what I feared came true, the bags were not on this plane (I later got my bags; 2 days later)

And so I went home 5 am in the morning, this had to be one of the longest days ever, if not the most tiring day of my life.

Almost a week into this sudden (thank god for it) vacation, I was able to get my bags, see my friends I left, check up on my family, go the beach, listen to the music, eat our food, feel our ppl; and remember all over again; why I left home in the first place

My life is pointless

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:08:00 +0000

This following piece was inspired by my little bro's loss of direction in life, looking for a summer job and not landing one, he just kept on saying, i feel piontless, it is all pointless....and there it hit me.......

My life is pointless
My life is cruel
i saw someone i know
working i am sure
He smirked at me on his way
He was with another fool
But its no fun for that
Cuz i have got no plan

I'm pointless, i'm pointless
i'm pointless, i know
I saw his face in the place he worked
and i don't know what i'll do
Cuz i'll never work, i've no clue

As you can tell, the format is that of "You´re Beautiful". just made a lot of sense then and we had a lauf when i told him :D

The reason why? What else, Egyptians of course! Cntd..

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sun, 18 May 2008 18:42:00 +0000

Here are some more...

Things Egyptians are responsible for
-WW1, WW2, and probably WW3
-Tom Cruise lost his mind over Scientology
-The nuclear bomb
-Darfur crisis
-Mario character
-Danica Patrick finally won a major race
-Bill Gates lost his place as the richest man alive for the first time in 13 years
-Heath Ledger's death
-Kill Bill 2, not Kill Bill 1
-The fall of troy
-Iron Maiden
-Big foot
-Will Smith always plays the role of the superhero that saves the day
-300

Things Egyptians are not a part off. But Aliens!
-Fool (Beans)
-Spetospates (Eldebana)
-keliobatra cigarettes
-Winning the ACN 6 time total , twice back to back
-AL-Zamalek
-Playing Pulp fiction in cinemas after montaging and rearranging the sequence of the movie so ppl can understand it
-krkr wi all lemby movies
-Egyptian labor is cheaper than Indian in the IT field
-Adel Imam kissing almost all Arab actresses in his movies
-Girls now are more nude and free...yay for guys

The reason why? What else, Egyptians of course!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:21:00 +0000

The following piece is based on fake, totally untrue, non-occurring circumstances!
As for why i chose this topic to write about?, well what else could it be, Egyptians of course.

Things Egyptians are responsible for
-The Tibet problem with China
-The moon landing
-The Eiffel tour
-The statue of liberty
-The oil price crisis
-The 9/11 attack
-That Bush was elected president for the second term
-The tsunami that hit Asia couple of years ago
-Hillary Clinton is still in the race for presidency
-Joey got canceled after 2 seasons
-The war in Iraq
-The Michael Jackson freak show
-South park
-Manchester United declared champions of the premiere league 2 season back to back
-New England Patriots lost the super bowl after an incredible record breaking season
-Diana got killed (that one might actually be true :D)
-Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up
-Angelina Jolie is pregnant again
-PS3

Things Egyptians are not a part off. But Aliens!
-The driving crisis in the middle east
-The bad perception of Egyptians as labor force
-The pyramids
-Dr. Ahmed Zewail
-Crappy Arabic movies that have the same story line or stolen from foreign ones
-The same ear deafening sense dulling love songs, with no topic but that
-The bread problem with no quality and lines half a km long
-The blood banks with contaminated samples
-The huge numbers of non working grads
-Bogi wi tamtam
-Raaft el-hagaan, the most successful infiltration spy case into Mossad
-The victory of the 6th of October
-Al-Ahly football club
-The unprecedented level of professional corruption, that now they export corruption specialists to those who need them!
-The fuel price waver, that many now just feel like they should die, or better yet he -the one responsible- dies
-The masked democracy that is dictatorship.
-The last 30 years of rulership with the same guy in place.

This list can go on forever for both ways, feel free to add what u think! :)

The visit!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:22:00 +0000

My heart starts pounding louder and louder as I grow nearer and nearer of my destination, a fateful meeting it will become, a meeting to decide how tomorrow will be, and how today will end!

I mean for me, it has to be the most dreaded visit of them all, yet it is something I must do, and eventually so does everyone too.

How is it possible to go in and come out the same man or person you were before?
A life changing experience that can either comfort you with a great smile or leave you with so much pain, yet you come back again, hoping that this pain will go away!

As I make my way to my destination, at the last few final steps I come upon a door, the door that I fear but it nevertheless welcomes me. I knock and the door opens slowly, and with a quick peak I take a glimpse of what is to come, and where I am….I mumble my name, as if I don’t want to them to hear me, and so I sat on the chair closest to me before I collapsed

After quite some time, being all tension, tapping my legs like a crazy rooster, I heard a voice talking to me. But to my fragile mind, that sounded like a think voice from hell muttering the following words “Bwahaha, you poor soul, GO! Meet your doom”

My heart beats faster, starts skipping a beat, the hair on my arm and on the back of my head starts standing up, as if I was electrocuted, and the sweat glands start doing their job effectively despite this cold weather.

“Oh God” I think to myself, make this an easy visit, and help me through it.

Better yet make this all go away, I will never be that careless again!

Slowly gathering what’s left of my courage, I stood my ground, psyched myself up and knocked on the second door.
"Come in…..Sit" I hear the voice say vaguely. "On the chair there, relax and get comfortable, this is going to take some time”

Domdom, Domdom, beats pulsating in my chest, starts ringing in my head as I clearly make the sound of my heart trying to rip my cage open, tucked my shirt in to hold my stomach, my tummy rumbles as I stumble, making my way to the chair, the screams in my head, wanting to burst and come out as I hardly try to suppress them, so I start biting my lips to stop myself from cracking down and weeping like a baby

“Be strong” I told myself, “You can tough this out, be a man, you can do it” and all that came to mind was the mental image of me screaming like a little girl “Naahh, sniff… I don’t want to…aaa3333.”

Jedi mind tricking myself into calming down, I restored my breathing to its normal pace; a mere 115 beats per minute; I said a little prayer, forced on a fake smile and continued on my way to meet my fate.

As I finally rest on the chair, a figure starts approaching me, clinching on my seat and holding tightly with my grips, the figure comes close and starts looking at me with experienced eyes
"We have a big problem don’t we?" he asks.
'I hope not' I whispered
"Great! Now get ready!" he said, as I helplessly I sat on my chair, he grabbed a big ass syringe in one hand and a drill in the other and starts it up; the hissing sound, strikes me like a knife stabbing my brains, my conscience slips slowly as the smell of burnt flesh nauseates my senses

And after what seems like eternity, I hear the liberating words, “We’re done for now, I’ll see you next week”

..
Man I hate going to the dentist!!!

Fade away

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:12:00 +0000

Can't breath
Without seeing ur face
Can't go on
Without feeling ur grace
Can't live
Since u left without a trace

Oh! hope, i have lost
Dreams, that will never show
Reasons, that are no more
And u fade away

The sound of ur voice
The song, that is you
The gaze of ur beauty
The picture, that is you
The look of ur eyes
The smile that is you

Oh! hope i have lost
Dreams are no more true
Reasons are forever gone
When you fade away

And then it hurts no more
A memory far away
A feeling that's so over
My feelings, i now own
My breath, now i can take

Oh! hope i have regained
Dreams, i will hold
Reasons, i give again
After you fade away

Egyptians and the Wawa Aba

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:39:00 +0000

DOM DOM DOMDOM...MASR
oooh egyptianawyy!!

These where some of the many chants that filled the air yesterday, as Wawa Aba made 70+ million ppl extremely happy as it got scored 4 times in the mighty Cote D'Ivoire ' The Elephants' aka ivory cost. in what was an epic match, that not even the most optimist would've thought that outcome could be possible.

From the initial fear of not performing well as this tournament started, to the shocking defeat of the Cameroon in our first game, followed by an even bigger surprise of beating The Elephants in the semi final, only to meet the ego bruised Cameroonians again, for a final showdown, for a proof of dominance.

I myself see that luck has been on our side, plus of course some good play, but we are yet far from being a strong tactical team, we are a skill oriented and we played on the mistakes of our opponents....

To clarify on what this whole things means, for Egyptians, football is among a rare few things that ppl come together for, feel connected, put effort in and also a from of entertainment, if not in my humble opinion the only thing.

At these moments Egypt transcends all, Muslim or Christian, rich or poor, near or far, here or there.....DOM DOOM DOMDOM.... MASR.
A moment were we all connect as true citizens of one country, sadly that happens every 2 years when we play in the ACN
The crowds hit the streets, key streets get blocked and ppl start dancing and chanting... which of course is fun and very very stupid, if you are "god forbid" sick or dieing and happen to be there...well lets just say..RIP. If you r in a hurry to reach a destination, better call in saying ur gonna be late (very late)!

Pyrosol cans become torch blowers, which is dangerous and yet very fun to do...(i enjoy it tremendously). flags sore up high and drums start beating victory beats.

For today we are winners. and Come this next Sunday, we might make history again by winning the title twice in a row and 6 times in total (Cameroon 4)
And all that with a national Coach 'Hassan Shahata', that I'm not truly convinced being all that great and all, but he is well respected and that here goes miles.

For those 70+ mil, praying for the only thing that we Egyptians enjoy is natural, and ur bound to have 1 or 2 of those called (EL Saleheen), those whose prayers get answered
Shahata before the game asked it from the Egyptians, and we the Egyptians delivered and delivered abundantly.

P.S. Hopefully this time we can make the world cup to continue the joy, happiness and unity

Zamalekism!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:15:00 +0000

“Inta lesa Zamalekawy leeh?” a question that has been asked by all those who watch and like football (even those not quite into football, ask the same thing. Why? In god’s name are you still rooting for that team!?)
“Aho, esma wi naseeb; 7azi gah keda; ‘7eeba b3eed 3nk” are some of the replies you get from most Zamalekians (those who support Zamalek), and on some rare chances, you get one of those -Zamalek forever- fan (to be soon extinct), who will proudly give ya a boastful kind of speech even after a 1-5 humiliating loss from Nag3 El-Blas.
“3shan ana Zamalekawy, wi ba7b el Zamalek, wi Zamalek Zamalek 7ata el moot”
And that, is Zamalekism! A syndrome that a select unfortunate souls have

Characterized as a disconnection from reality with a deep sense of unfathomable love mixed with frustration and lingering hopes of times long gone coming back, topped with the utter hatred of Al-Ahly (Zamalek’s nemesis, or so it is thought). A very complex feeling and a mixture of emotions, worthy of a Hollywood movie; where love and hate of the same team co-exist and are deemed something natural to live with.

“Howa e7na hanksb al-Ahly emta?” a phrase that has become the default comment after every Zamalek-Ahly game in the last 4 years, or “Ohhh!! Mortada Mansour rage3 taniii....”
The above 2 phrases, just shows how pathetic Zamalek has been for those last 4 years, with only one championship to show for it (El-Kas last year, keeping in mind Al-Ahly was out early in this tournament, and yet we were not sure if we can win it!!!!)
Though I am a Zamalekawy (bas m3 eqaf el tanfez), I do have to give credit to AL-Ahly club, they rule supreme over the Middle East and Africa's football throne. Being hailed as the best team of Africa and the middle east (African club of the Century); although Zamalek is claiming the title is undeserved due to a screwed up scoring system and the fact that Zamalek has more continental wins and so the honor should be rightfully his (One of the official fan websites, has its title say -The real Club of the Century-)If anything, Al-Ahly is a club with a smart, talented board of trusties, who (never mind the rumors) works for the sake of rising Al-Ahly name ever more, be it by means legit or not, sportsmanship like or gamesmanship, they all strive for the clubs sake, becoming a symbol people grew to like and attach to. Representing the common man; the name itself is Arabic for the word people. Originally established by a National Icon in the early 1900’s and was made open to the masses. So it’s no wonder that it has the largest fan base in Egypt, kids are now born defaulted to being Ahlawy, and those who just follow the trend or wave and pick the winner, also support Al-Ahly. That pretty much covers all sects of the Egyptian society

As to why people choose the Zamalek as a team to support and love, different reasons really, Zamalek always had the best individual talented players, while Al-Ahly had the best team work efficiency; and of course being a team sport, El-Ahly prevailed victorious, alas they were not fun to watch, and when Zamalek worked as a team (a somewhat rare thing back in the days), combined by talent, people watched art, and they basked in victorious ceremonies. World renowned team legends were shattered in front of the might of a once golden team. (Qahr el European clubs)Sadly, nowadays Zamalek is synonymous to crap play, bad publicity, stupid actions and ugly football; and it’s been like that the last 4 years, but hope still remains....flickering with every win or loss the team suffers....as fans just keep sacrificing time, health and money on a team that is worthy of only donkeys (actual animals) to support and love
Ending is, Zamalek fans are leaving football to engulf in other sports (as they will never support Al-Ahly)....Fans have no expectations any more, matches are tasteless, fun has been sucked out of it all; Ahlawys are not happy anymore, because they won for the 100th time in a row, and Zamalkawys are not sad they lost their gazillioneth match, with competition gone, there is really no use for watching football anymore

Just have the Ahly take the 1st place every year, and start setting up a prize for second place (Zamalek’s fav place for the last number of years), maybe then would we see some competition
And to stay faithful, dedicated and supportive, throughout all this, as if it’s a fate inescapable....with all these complications, that is the true Zamalekism!

Connected

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 23:31:00 +0000

So i think it's about time i started continuing my short story, u know the one i started ions ago, me and Zwarx...

So lights were red the ship was on high alert and.............................cut, cut!

..............second thought, now is not the time to do so, as i need time to do so!

Ah! how about the book review I've been talking about, or maybe a movie review.....
Nah not now, i am sleepy and i got work 2morrow....

For now lets just say some random words and see how they fall in place

The winds slips through my fingers as i spread my arms apart
slipping in a spiral spin i fall
gradually a smile draws my face
will i heed the universe's call
can you feel me embrace
the wind, the rain, the storm
Can u feel me capture the essence of
the sun, the moon and the stars
connected with the world
I am

A glance at the dark light sky
then came you
silent voice like the sweetest melody
eyes like a picture divine
a heart that lyrics its mind
and thou stars are far away
they shine our way
and just like one
I'll guide you home
even if like a star
when gone, i will still shine
connected it seems
You are

A voice of love
connected we are
You and I

The childhood when so green
the manhood to be seen
the heart that translates
my thoughts to you
carried by the wind i get
your feelings that u share
connected through time
You and I

a remark there, a glimpse here
the whisper grows
as the time flows
the heads gazed
the more amazed
connected they know
You and I

Note:

This was written in the spur of the moment, not to rhyme, not to be sung, maybe if its any good.... just felt.
In the above -don't know what to call it-, i tried to expand vocabulary, maintain some form of structure...and say the first things i thought about...random as it may be
it was fun and i plan to do it again

The Gap, and the understanding!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerkulez) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 13:34:00 +0000

We can assume safely that a large population of the western world thinks of Islam as a religion spread by sword -which of course is totally & utterly untrue. Take Egypt for example, well let's just say if the above mentioned point was true, then by now there would have been no Christians in my country who can read this, let alone be very good friends with-. They (the western people) think that Islam in essence is a violent primitive way of life, which will naturally lead to us all being terrorists (if not retarded) in our modern time.

People fear what they not know of, a fact established ages ago (lessons learned from history classes), throw in some misconception and some anti-Islam mass media and you will find it is easy to get the wrong idea, an opinion becomes fact with time if not challenged, and sadly we try to change the perception of Islam to one individual at a time, while what is needed is general awareness to the masses.

An American was once asked –in an effort to measure the awareness of people towards the Muslims and Islam- what is the holy month for Muslims and the answer was" Jihad", and that stroked me on so many levels (laughing a sad laugh was the first), and before I go on tackling the points I would like to first explain Jihad.

Jihad is the action of spreading; protecting and striving for the prosperity of Allah's word by sacrificing one's self or money at the least, by not giving in to your worldly desires, to be a true Muslim by abiding the teachings of Qu'aran and Sunna, to defend against those who oppress (conquer) you and to stand up to those who insult you, your religion, your prophet and God. In all previous statements the military aspect of Jihad is for defensive purposes by all means (check the fore mentioned comment).

Now back to the levels of strokes when I saw this, first, we don't have a so called month (not many who could answer this), second, the perception is so much diluted about Muslims that this term came up as an answer, third, people are not even trying to understand and that's why something like that came out as an answer, just imagine the following scene. Aslam Alykoum brothers, the month of Jihad draws near people and you know what that means, we get to blow up some infidels in celebrations of the holy month, so for this year we the brotherhood were thinking of a new place to bomb, since 9-11 and its just been hard to do USA anymore, this year we maybe try some place exotic. Somewhere with beaches and cocktails to sip in the heat, location will be determined shortly but as usual I want our brothers to go in full disguise with turbans, long beards and galbiyas (the male version look like dress that u see in TV), don't forget to show the bomb belt, and may I remind you, we do it with style, take care of how you look maybe someone will end up on CNN TV and we want to look presentable, so don't forget to smile…You never know who we might bomb!

The funny thing about the scene above is, it didn't happen and most likely never will, attacks were never made based on religious beliefs as people presume, it's more a matter of nationalism. Didn't read a headline that we terrorized Hawaii, Germany, India, Canada, Mexico, France, New Zeeland , Australia etc.., as far as I can tell with that mind set all of the above mentioned are infidels, but that's not the case is it.. Even bombing done in Israel is coming from the resistance, you never heard of AlQa'da doing an attack on Tel-Aviv, which proves that it is not religious based intentions, it's just more likely that a fanatic (specially the religious type) will get riled up and go do something like that ("the terroristic act"). This in no way agrees to the act of terrorism done but it merely tries to show that not All Muslims think that way, u never ever see a Sheikh (that's like a priest) order out an attack or is the head of small army, terrorism is a cowardly act and it is easy to take up religion as a cover for almost doing anything. (An example comes to mind…. the "Holy Crusade" was waged under false pretensions of religious glory)

One of Islam's teaching and a critical one at that, is to believe in and respect (again believe in and respect) the former holy religions before us, with all the abuse happening to us never once did you see a comic strip making fun of Jesus, a sketch ripping on Moses, writings even with pre-opinionated hardcore Muslim ridiculing Christianity or Judaism, those who read will not even find attacks on Buddhism (although I can practice my right to freedom of speech, but if that does happen, I wonder if it will be left unpunished or not protested against). A respect to all religions is dictated to us and that respect should be mutual, don't presume that if you make fun of me and my prophet that I will take it lightly, the middle eastern nations in essence are a tight religion abiding people be that Muslim, Christian or Jewish.

You don't see us burning down churches in France in reply to the oppression served long ago, nor are we killing British in order to pay back the 70+ years of colonization. And that I believe only strengthens/clarifies (if not prove) my point
So why is it we are perceived as a blood thirsty always angry people? We are the ones being slaughtered, oppressed, belittled, frustrated and feared from. And sometimes an unimaginable reaction (of a terroristic nature) is unleashed in response. While other acts done of invasion are called protecting and promoting democracy. Another fact of life people… Rules and laws are written by those the strongest.

Its not that most of the American population is ignorant or oblivious to the matters of the world around them, that I generalize the concept that they are all idiots and more importantly act upon it (we just make fun of it).

The problem in the past mentioned ideology I believe is because of misinterpretation of words, of what -for example- Jihad stands for to me and its meaning to you, and the issues of misunderstood teachings, words or intentions - to count a few- are why we are debating, talking and trying to come to a solution. In root the real issue is that of the public themselves carrying out the teachings of the Islam, how can you expect someone who doesn't respect the law, a guy being oppressed by governments, someone who knows not of system and order, a man whose rights are being squandered (in many cases not even know what his rights are), to represent Islam. It might as well be back in the old ages when we were still riding camels and having our houses on our backs (tents), yes now we have cars and skyscrapers and 5 stars hotels, yet the mentality stayed the same (and yah we still have some so called individuals with the above descriptions).

It is said in our holy Qu'aran that Allah will not change a nation's fate (to the better) unless the people first change what's inside them… In short be a true Muslim and Islam will flourish, and flourish here doesn't mean going to war or bombing more cities, simply it means people will recognize Islam for how great, peaceful & wonderful logical religion it is, and naturally that all will want to embrace such a beautiful thing (It's the fastest growing religion in the world). What I ask of people is to ask and not presume, to give chance and not judge, to be a better person and help make others better. For that matter…in attitude, be Muslim.