Lesson Learned.

The Truth of the Matter

2012-01-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

Well it was one of those days that I was sitting around feeling terribly sorry for myself. I was thinking about how a certain friend had been a complete b**** lately. And how I don't want to call her because I KNOW she will say something that hurts me.That got me thinking about that quote, "Life is too short to waste time on people who drag you down." I'm thinking, AMEN SISTA! I'm sooo done with this woman. I have full rights to just drop this "friendship" like it never existed. End of story. Problem solved.

Then today I was thinking about all that was going on in my life one year ago. I was sooo busy, and sooo stressed. I was trying to do online classes full-time, run a business and a half (the half being hobby-ish, but trying to make $), keeping the house clean, trying to make too many people happy and not knowing how to set boundaries...all while being the mom of 3 LITTLE ones, AND making time for my husband. I was so stressed. I shut down one day, and stayed there for a while. I quit talking to everyone. The world just had to wait while I fixed this situation. So I straightened out my priorities, dropped the things that weren't worth the stress, and added some serious organization to the deal. I'm thinking,-I feel sooo much better now. It's good to be happy.

Then it hits me. Like a punch thrown with the force of a 75 mile an hour car. I HURT HER. Hurting people hurt people. When life overwhelmed me, I ignored her, pushed her away and shut her out, because that's what I do in my despair. Always. No wonder I had such a hard time. Friends reach out to friends when they need A Friend. Because that's what friends are for. But me, in my selfish independence, chose to push everyone away. Most people went unaffected, as we all have busy lives, not everyone noticed. But she knows me better than that. Previously, we had talked nearly every day. Suddenly, I dropped her. And it must have sliced her like a knife. My actions essentially told her, "I don't NEED you. You have wasted your time putting effort and love into this friendship, because I don't trust you enough to share my problems with you. I don't want your help, I don't want a shoulder to cry on, I don't even want your presence."

What have I done? Ever since then she has slowly been destroying all my confidence, dreams, and trust. It hurts. But oh my God. I did that to her all in one shot. She was like my SISTER. How could I have taken that for granted? How could I have been so self centered? I can't believe that I wasn't there for HER.

It's time to fix what I have done. To mend, repair, give the pieces back that I have shattered. To ask for forgiveness. Will it ever be the same again? I doubt it, as broken hearts tend to leave permanent scars. But I have seen raw truth and I cannot let it rest. Today, I am grateful to see myself as I have. I'm thankful to have had her in my life, even if it can never be the same again. Today, I have decided never to make this mistake again. From this point forward, I will remember that friendships are not just about laughs, and having a good time, or even being there for a friend when they need me. I will need them too, and it's ok. They want to help, and probably will be hurt if I don't let them. That's the formation of a healthy friendship. Love, and be loved.

Mama words

2012-01-21T21:51:00.001-08:00

Dear Moms,
I want to thank all of you who are in my life for what you have added to my parenting. Raising my children is a top priority as I hope to teach them how to live with a little class, a little fun, some hard work, lots of love, and all the tools they need for independent living someday, and enough care to go out of their way to help others. Mostly, that they will love Jesus with their whole hearts and live their lives to glorify. I believe this is completely possible, and although we have some bad days, they are mostly amazing days and there is hope on the horizon.
Mamas, you have taught me that you can go anywhere with children in tow. And that it can be a totally fun experience, spark new conversations, teach them how the world works, and help them to know themselves. You have taught me that it is perfectly ok to teach my little girl that there is a prince charming out there for her, and to raise my boys to be king-ly and seek a princess with a beautiful heart. Poise and etiquette are always in style. Organization solves all things. Mostly anyways. Children need chores to succeed at life. It gives them confidence when they know what they are capable of accomplishing. Once confidence is built, it never dies. Sometimes it may fade, but it will always, ALWAYS be there. None of this can be accomplished without love, and a positive environment. Even disciplining and reprimanding can be changed into a loving, communicative experience. There is no reason to use the word "don't" with small children. Say, "use your walking feet," and "keep your chair on the floor" in place of "don't run," and "don't tip in your chair." Children should be allowed to get messy, and spend hours playing outside every day. They should be allowed to laugh as much as they want, no matter where they are, even in a restaurant-as long as they are using good etiquette. Kids need routine at night to sleep well and feel safe and secure. They need ample time to tell you about their entire day. Mamas also need time to talk about their day. Moms need good friends and some time to pamper themselves. It's not selfish to take good care of yourself little mama, because when you feel good about yourself, you feel good about giving yourself to others. Of course everyone and their dog is needing your time for something; boundaries are imperative. Do what you can, and when you can't just let it go. Put a smile on your face and let your mind be free to love.

Fairy Tales. What do you believe?

2012-01-21T01:27:00.000-08:00

Fairy Tales. I love 'em but I hate 'em. Because, really, do they ever come true?! What do you think?

My favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. Because it's the closest fairy tale to reality in my mind. The beast is so unlovable. So monstrous. So angry that he no longer even hopes or wants to be loved. But when a caring soul steps in, the world turns upside down and love truly does conquer all. While it is true that she did not intentionally choose that route, as it turns out, she could never have lived any other way. Her life was made for something more, and she found it down the path that looked most terrifying at first glance. She dared to be afraid. Belle gave up her freedom to save her father, and in turn discovered the most beautiful of all truths. She then gained her life back, plus so much more.

We all have our own dreams. We want an ideal career, a happy family, a loving spouse, a comfortable living. We've all had some dreams crushed. We've had people stand in the way of our sunshine, we've discovered we weren't as talented as we thought, we found out no one is perfect enough to complete us. Life hurts. Dying dreams are a true tragedy indeed. But if we keep on going, taking one step at a time, our hearts soften and we begin to see the beauty within the beast. I've decided to believe in fairy tales. There really are happy endings. Every day miracles happen. Sometimes they are just around the corner, just waiting.

Dreamers

2012-01-21T01:02:00.000-08:00

We've all wondered what to do with our lives. And at the moment that you are desperate to know, it just really sucks to still be wondering. I'm at a crossroads. Makes my head hurt. It's all very complex when I want to do the things my heart is pulling me to do, yet I know it's not practical to just "live the dream." But then I look at where people have come from, the struggles they've shared with us-their interns, readers, friends-and it all makes it worth my best shot. And along the way I'm learning some key elements that set successful people apart from the mainstream.
They tend to be easily inspired, always optimistic. Good health, good organizing skills, honest communication. A habit of appreciating people. A desire to keep learning. A knowledge of their strengths. And they tend to pass the golden ticket around by helping others realize their strengths as well. All this makes me think...ya know, I could do it!
Be inspired people! And when you are, go out of your way to inspire others. Go look for your opportunity and seize it immediately. We can't have our dreams if we never chase them!

Life in Front of the TV. Not so wasted after all.

2012-01-20T23:20:00.000-08:00

I learn a lot from movies. And I watch movies like crazy. I was flipping through the guide and on a whim decided to watch Princess Protection Program on the Disney Channel. Yes, I know it's like a tween movie. But hey. And fantastically, I discovered it's worthy of sharing with my little daughter. I was thoroughly impressed with the way Princess Rosie is portrayed. Like this conversation between Carter, the average american teen, and the princess.

Carter: That was the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to me and I've been humiliated a lot. [sighs] What was I thinking? A guy like Donny will never go out with me.
Rosie: Then he is not worthy of you. 
Carter: Yeah you can say that 'cause you're all high and royal. I'm just a girl that sells bait.
Rosie: No, you're so much more. You are a princess now.
Carter: (scoffs) Trust me, I'm not a princess.
Rosie: Yes you are. You just do not feel like one yet. When came to this place you taught me how to act normal not royal. Now it is my turn to teach you. You think that being a princess is superficial.
Carter: Yeah, I guess.
Rosie: That it is about what you wear and how you look. Well it is a little bit about what your wear but more importantly, it is about what you have to offer to the world and who you are inside. Come on Carter, let's go find your inner princess.

Carter: You're so good to everybody. Kids, old people. You're probably even good with dogs.
Rosie:  That is true.
Carter: You're so much more generous than I thought you would be.
Rosie: It is a princess's job to help people.
Carter: I guess I never really thought about what it really means to be a princess.

Then they are conversing about the homecoming dress Carter is wearing.

Rosie: It is beautiful and so are you. Look. You're becoming a princess on the inside and now you look like one too.

It is a little cheesy in parts, but definitely worth the watch, especially if you have a little daughter that needs to know beauty is more than skin deep. I am always on the lookout for ways to teach my princess-y daughter what a beautiful heart looks like. Also, Disney is coming out with a new little princess who is supposed to teach girls similar lessons. Score!