JUST FOR LAUGHS !!!

Dad How was I Born?!

2008-09-13T05:51:00.000+05:30

Best explanation ever given.......... DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?"

Junior asks his dad, His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!" "Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a Cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother Agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to Upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, But it was too late to hit the delete button." "Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message Saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized Program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted in her BIOS.

Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared And said: You've Got

Male'!"

Bishop n a Boy

2008-09-09T17:54:00.002+05:30

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied 'My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered 'I am the Father of many.'
The boy said 'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way'
The priest, getting impatient, said 'I am the Father of hundreds' and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, 'Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards
instead of your collar.'

Amazing Home Remedies......

2008-08-01T23:10:00.000+05:30

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
13. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you

Stand Aside my Friend.....

2008-08-01T22:46:00.000+05:30

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house,was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced hiswife, lost his children and lost his job.He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wallswearing, "You are the reason I don' t have a wife", second bottle,"You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You arethe reason I lost my job". He notices the fourth bottle is sealed andstill full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Standaside my dear friend, I know you were not involved....

TEN Excuses for missing Work !!

2008-07-09T23:40:00.002+05:30

We've all been there. It's a beautiful day, and you can't bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with some excuse about feeling ill, but you know in your bones that your boss doesn't buy it.

The feeling ill excuse is a short-term solution that won't win you any fans at the office -- someone else will have to pick up the slack, or you'll miss deadlines. And it won't help your career any. Here are 10 excuses -- five smart and five not-so-smart -- to help you save face and your sanity.

Smart Excuses

1)I've Earned It: No one can argue with performance. Come in two or three hours early -- or stay late -- for a week or two. Then negotiate a day off in advance. "Really work when you're there, so you'll be able to feel good about taking time off," says Andrea Nierenberg, president of The Nierenberg Group, a management consulting and personal marketing practice.

2)I'm Playing Golf with a Client: For this one to work, you've got to have a job that requires you to meet and court current and prospective clients. Neil Simpkins, an account executive at Oxford Communications, has used this one successfully. One note of caution: Meet the client; don't just say you did.

3)I Have a Doctor's Appointment: This excuse will get you out of work for a half-day or so. Make the appointment first thing in the morning or late in the day, say around 3 p.m. You can leave the office by 2:30 p.m. and get home (hopefully) by 4 p.m. The shortened day will help you recharge, especially if you schedule it on a Friday afternoon.

4)I Have Cramps: Before you dismiss this one, think about it: Who can argue? "It's such an embarrassing topic that nobody will ever challenge it," says Jennifer Newman, vice president of Lippe Taylor Public Relations. She has used this excuse -- and had it used on her -- successfully. "It's one of those things that men honestly have no clue about, and women can sympathize with." One important point: Don't use this one if you're a man. It'll never work.

5) I'm Working from Home: This is an excellent way to give yourself a break if your company allows it. Although you'll need to do some work, you can generally get away with a shortened day. And you'll eliminate your commuting time.

Not-So-Smart Excuses

1) There's a Death in the Family: Don't ever use this excuse if it's not true. Your employer will lose all trust in you. "I had an employee whose mother died -- twice," says David Wear, a Virginia PR executive. "He also had the misfortune of losing all his grandparents -- 12 of them -- during a two-year period."

2) I'm Too Sleepy: When she was a manager at IBM, Marilynn Mobley heard it all. This one still makes her laugh: The employee apparently took Tylenol 3 with codeine instead of a vitamin, because the bottles looked alike.

3) I Can't Get My Car Out of the Garage: This is another one that Mobley didn't buy. An employee said that a power failure was preventing him from opening his power-operated garage door. "I reminded him that there's a pull chain on it for just such cases," she says.

4) I Can't Find My Polling Place: Mary Dale Walters, a communications specialist at CCH Inc., couldn't believe this one. A former employee needed an entire day to figure out where she had to go to vote in the 1996 presidential election.

5) I Have a Personal Emergency: This one is so vague that it rarely works. It could mean anything from fatigue to an appointment with your hairdresser, and your boss knows it.

Don't lie, no matter which excuse you use. "I'm not a believer in playing hooky, because it always comes back to you," Nierenberg says. "Don't lie to your boss, your supervisor or your clients. You're guaranteed they will be the ones you'll run into while you're walking down the street in your jeans."

Before Marriage .... After Marriage ....! !!

2008-07-09T23:35:00.001+05:30

Before Marriage - Agar Tum Na Hote :(
After Marriage - Agar Tum Na Hote :)

Before Marriage - Maine Pyar Kiya :)
After Marriage - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(

Before Marriage - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)
After Marriage - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(

Before Marriage - Dil To Pagal Hai :)
After Marriage - Dil To Pagal Tha :(

Before Marriage - Ek Duje Ke Liye :)
After Marriage - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(

Before Marriage - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)
After Marriage - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(

Before Marriage - Chandramukhi :)
After Marriage - Jwaalamukhi :(

Before Marriage - Kuwara Baap :)
After Marriage - Bechara Baap :(

Before Marriage - Titanic :)
After Marriage - Mortgage :(

Before Marriage - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)
After Marriage - Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(

Before Marriage - Yes Boss :)
After Marriage - Yes Boss :(

Before Marriage - Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)
After Marriage - Chutki Ki Amma :(

Before Marriage - Kabhi Kabhi :)
After Marriage - If you are lucky :(

Before Marriage - Aao Pyar Karen :)
After Marriage - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(

Before Marriage - Hum Apke Hain :)
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(

Indian proves his INTELLECT Again

2008-07-09T23:24:00.002+05:30

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why you would bother to borrow "$5,000"?The Indian replies:"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

Another Fight

2008-06-16T12:55:00.000+05:30

Men:1. All men are extremely busy.2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the first woman leaves them.7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.Women:1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they say they never have something to wear.4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just 'an old rag'.6. Although their clothes are always 'just an old rag', they still expect you to compliment them.7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Jokes Collections

2008-05-07T21:16:00.000+05:30

Wife: Oh dear when you remove your specks you look like the same cute boy
whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks and look at you, you also look
like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam and David were sharing their childhood memories.

Sam says: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I
fell down on the earth unconsciously.

David: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.

Sam: I don't remember exactly because I was only 4 yeas old at that time.

~~~~~~~~~

Santa: If I die, will you remarry?

Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?

Santa: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

~~~~~~~~~

Lalu: Why are all these people running?

Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Lalu: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

~~~~~~~~~

One Liners and their hidden Meanings

2008-05-06T11:56:00.000+05:30

One liners -- Hidden meanings in Company talk

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Dating with Women

2008-05-06T11:52:00.000+05:30

WHITE WOMEN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

JEWISH WOMEN:

First Date: You get terrific head.

Second Date: You get even more great head.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.

Second Date: She's pregnant.

Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date: You are shot dead.

No third date.

Dictonary For Women

2008-05-06T11:51:00.000+05:30

rgument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so that men can understand them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Dating Dictonary

2008-05-06T11:48:00.000+05:30

ATTRACTION.. ... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE. .... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING. .... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY.. ... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC. .... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

Propose

2008-05-06T11:46:00.002+05:30

Propose karne ka sher:

Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta...

Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
Toh Rab se shikayat hogi....

Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
Doosra AA gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai

Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.

What is the diff. Between dava & daru?

Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi...

Dont ever give a Lame Excuse!!

2008-04-16T00:09:00.001+05:30

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't

Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as

dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and

said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return

 the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way

 back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.


So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked

him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as

This was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in

Separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.


The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)

Q.2. which tire burst................ (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left

b) Front Right

c) Back Left

d) Back Right.....!!!

True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992-96

WHY MEN DECIDED TO WEAR CLOTHES

2008-04-08T17:57:00.001+05:30

Early experiences that convince the male to clothe himself.....

Atti + Tactics == Biznez!

2008-04-05T15:50:00.002+05:30

Have a Good Day

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'

Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything.. But your
attitude should be +ve...

Sardarji's Mom's Letter

2008-03-29T15:31:00.000+05:30

Dear Banta Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm
writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved
20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here
took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would
not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be
able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address
will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The
first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a
little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so
we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really
badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in
this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it
is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or
Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him
and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill
his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea
after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging
a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
realized, I had already sealed off this letter .

Have a nice day!

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

2008-03-29T15:23:00.000+05:30

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.

**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?

**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love , Aakash

*********************

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........

Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... Right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple .. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you .

**********

Flash News

2008-03-21T09:33:00.001+05:30

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab .

Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more…

~~~~~~~~~

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me.
U cry, I cry.
U laugh.. I laugh.
U jump out of d window..
I look down n then.. I laugh again.. Hahaha

~~~~~~~~~

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy,
An art for a lover,
An accomplishment for a bachelor
And a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

~~~~~~~~~

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,

But a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

~~~~~~~~~

Conclusions !!!

2008-03-21T09:31:00.001+05:30

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says,

"chal", it walks.

He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.

He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. ....

..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office...."

~~~~~~~~~

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " Tamil therima??"(therima = Do you Know ??)

Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

~~~~~~~~~

2 sardars are driving a Car,

One puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working,

He puts his head out and says - YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

Twins When Drunk !!!

2008-03-19T13:35:00.002+05:30

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he
could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's
have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"St. Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable! " the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's
and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Unopened CD's

2008-03-14T23:24:00.001+05:30

There was once a guy who suffered from cancer... a cancer that can't be treated. He was 18 years old and he could die anytime. All his life, he was stuck in his house being taken cared by his mother. He never went outside but he was sick of staying home and wanted to go out for once.

So he asked his mother and she gave him permission. He walked down his block and found a lot of stores.

He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat.

She looked up and asked "Can I help you?" She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there.

He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her money for it.

"Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile again.

He nodded and she went to the back.

She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out...

------------ ------

!!!RRRRRING! !!

The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, "You don't know? He passed away yesterday..."

The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother.

Later in the day. the mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.

Contrasting WITS !!

2008-03-14T23:00:00.001+05:30

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I beshowing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE? "
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on thesame day and at the same time

Aquainted !

2008-03-01T14:34:00.001+05:30

This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus.

A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors.

She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the steps again.

But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time.

She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt.

He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing."

Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we were aquainted."