William Malmborg

Six Years Ago Today – My Bowel Resection Surgery

2012-06-02T12:19:00.001-05:00

Oooo, drugs!

Honestly, it doesn’t seem like six years has actually passed since June 2, 2006, but pass it has. Six years has come and gone; six years that might never have been if it wasn’t for the wonderful gastrological and urological team of surgeons I had working on me that morning – one for the bowel part of the surgery, and one for the bladder part of the surgery. Actually, thinking about that, I remember something funny. Both surgeons were in the room talking to me before the surgery was to begin and I very plainly remember telling them to play nice with each other, and that there would be plenty of blood and guts for the both of them. What can I say; humor is always the best medicine, right? And boy did I need it right then. Going into surgery is scary, especially one as dangerous as that. Fear wasn’t the only thing present within my mind, however. Relief was there as well; relief that it was finally time for the surgery that we had been talking about for a month.

Sleepy Time

For those that don’t know my surgery was a typical bowel resection surgery with a little bit of bladder work thrown in for flavor. A little over a year before, the Crohn’s Disease that had been lying dormant in my body since birth had activated itself and within a time span of only four months created a small bowel to bladder fistula (basically a tunnel between the small bowel and bladder). Needless to say living with such a medical problem was unpleasant. Constant urinary track infections from the fecal matter getting into the bladder was one aspect of it; peeing out that fecal matter, and everything within it, was another. Never in my life have I known such pain; pain that wouldn’t ever let up it seemed. The worst of this experience came one day after I had eaten a sandwich from a local deli. Apparently, my intestines decided not to digest the lettuce I had eaten and it managed to filter itself into the bladder. One minute I was peeing that typical molten lava piss that comes out whenever you have a urinary track infection, the next something seemed to be blocking it, something that I could feel moving as my body tried to force it out. Then the urine broke free and I felt some relief. I also saw something sticking out of the tip of my penis. It was some of the lettuce. Unable to force it out with the urine, which was just going around it now, I tried pulling it, but couldn’t get a grip, so I ended up using a toothpick to kind of skewer it and eventually pull the strip free. It was one of those plastic sword toothpicks you see at picnics, ones that my Mom had stocked up on for the earlier 4^th of July celebration she had hosted. Ever since I have never been able to use such items in combination with a meal. Other unpleasant items came out of my penis that year, but none of it was as bad, or as memorable, as the lettuce.

Small Bowel Removed

By May of 2006 my doctors had decided that antibiotics were not going to heal up the fistula and that surgery was probably the best option. My Crohn’s Disease specialists was also pretty certain that I had fibro-stenotic Crohn’s Disease, which was a rare form of the disease that doesn’t respond to medications, but can sometimes be put into remission with the removal of the distressed bowel. By the way, for those that don’t know, Crohn’s Disease is an autoimmune disease where the immune systems frequently attacks the lining of the intestines to kill all the bacteria within (good and bad). Other parts of the body can be hit as well, but usually it is the small intestine. In my case it was the last segment of intestine where the immune system was throwing a temper tantrum. Once gone I had a good chance of never having the Crohn’s Disease turn up elsewhere, unless it appeared again within five years. If that happened then I would be in for many surgeries to remove chunks of damaged intestine. If five years passed without any reoccurrence, my odds of staying in remission indefinitely increased to a number that was very appealing. Can you guess which scenario I was hoping for?

So, into surgery I went where I died . . . okay, not really. There surgery was a success, though the doctors did later tell me I kept them very busy with blood loss. I was told this in a ‘it was serious at the time, but we can laugh at it now’ way, which still seems very surreal to me since it was my own body we were discussing. It was also during that conversation where the surgeon said, ‘Oh, by the way, we took out your appendix since we in there.’ Before I could reply he was leaving. Surgical skills, great (I couldn’t ask for better), bedside manner, well . . . entertaining to look back upon, but a bit unsettling at the time.

After Surgery, More Drugs Please!

End of story, right? Nope. I don’t know how it happened, but at some point in all the excitement of getting to go home (on June 6, 2006 of all days), I didn’t hear the information that I needed to be taking mega doses of B-12 from that day forward since I had lost the part of intestine that does most of the B-12 absorption. Because of this I grew sicker and sicker as my body used up all its stores of B-12. A year passed before I went to see the doctor about all the trouble I was having, my mind thinking it was all the result of the daily diarrhea I suffered from the shortened bowel. Little did I know had I waited another couple of weeks I would have died. I was so sick at the time of my visit to the doctor that he almost hospitalized me on the spot. Instead, I took some shots of B-12 and got the mega doses I needed for future use and went home. Unfortunately, I did suffer brain damage from the lack of B-12 and malnutrition, but as to the effect this has had on me, I don’t know. I do find myself struggling to concentrate on things for long periods, and get headaches very easily, but have no idea if that is related to the damage. Hey, maybe I can blame some of my ‘sick and twisted’ idea on it, right. Oh wait, those were there before all that began.

Scraping the Bone: Ten Dark Tales – Interesting Week

2012-05-31T13:00:00.002-05:00

This was an interesting week for my short story collection SCRAPING THE BONE. First, though it actually happened second, the new book cover was finished. Neil Jackson of Pig and Cow Designs created it and, once again, completely blew me away with his work. A better book cover artist I have never known. Adding to his greatness is the fact that he stays in touch with his clients. Anytime I message him I get a response, and anytime I ask for changes to the cover he complies right away. And if those changes don’t work quite the way it seemed they would when within the head, he always figures out a way to produce a design that is appealing and gets the cover message across. Simply put, he is a great book cover artist, one that I hope to have the pleasure of working with for many years to come.

The second interesting thing, though first if going in chronological order, was that SCRAPING THE BONE because my first US title to make a top 100 list on Amazon. The time on the list only lasted one day, but even so it was an exciting accomplishment, one which I hope will be seen again in the near future – an not just with Scraping the Bone. Like any writer, I would love to see all my titles make sure a list. In the UK this has happened many times, JIMMY and TEXT MESSAGE both making it to the number two spot on the Thriller and Horror top 100 lists, but not in the US. It will happen though, of this I am certain.

Barnes and Noble, You Disappoint Me

2012-05-22T14:12:00.001-05:00

What is the purpose of a bookstore if it isn’t going to carry books? I only ask because today I went into the Barnes and Noble in DeKalb, IL to pick up the new F. Paul Wilson book Nightworld only to find out they weren’t stocking it. Does this make any sense to anyone? Why on earth would a bookstore not carry a new release by a bestselling author, especially if that new release were the last book of not just one, but two bestselling series that were blended together? And people wonder why bookstores are slowly disappearing from the landscape. It’s ridiculous. Not carrying a book by a bestselling author on the day of its release is like deciding not to stock chocolate ice cream at the local Dairy Queen on the first day of summer. There is no excuse for it. Stores that do this deserve to crumble so that others can come in and do a better job.

Amazon Recommends: The Wind Through the Keyhole by Stephen King

2012-05-21T12:08:00.000-05:00

You want to know something strange, this is the first time Amazon has ever recommended me a Stephen King title in the ‘you might be interested in these products’ emails they send me every week. At first, I thought this was evidence that Amazon really doesn’t know what it is I like and don’t like, but then, after thinking about it a bit, I realized how could they know about this particular author since I never buy anything of his through them. Nope. Stephen King is one of those authors I buy right away. I don’t care what the book is about or how expensive it is (within the standard price guidelines of hardcover releases), the minute it hits the stores is the minute I go out to buy it. Nothing will stand in my way. I also try to dive into it right away, my reading habits during the nights prior to the release guided by the need to finish whatever novel I’m on so that I can go into the new Stephen King book the moment I’m home. For twelve years this has been my modus operandi when it comes to Stephen King releases, and given the quality of his last several books, it most likely will stay this way for many more years to come. All that said, I still do find it a bit odd that Amazon has never before recommended any Stephen King titles to me. The reason for this is that it brings up a question about the books I read. Are the titles I buy not falling in the same category as Stephen King? My tastes in fiction does spread across many genres, but even so the majority of what I buy is horror, thus you would think Amazon would bombard me with Stephen King titles. Not sure why this isn’t the case, or if it really is all that important, but it did strike me as noteworthy.

And now, for those of you wondering how I liked The Wind Through the Keyhole, let me just say this: I loved it. Not much more I can say about it, which is why I didn’t review it. I thought the book was fantastic and loved getting to look into some of the lore of Mid-World. I now also hope Stephen King gives us more novels like it, novels that are Dark Tower related, but more about the overall world than Roland. Don’t get me wrong, I love Roland and the tale of his quest, but I also love learning as much as I can about Mid-World and think this would be a fertile land for novel cultivation by Stephen King.

Birdman by Mo Hayder

2012-05-17T17:11:00.000-05:00

When it comes to fiction few things have the power to disturb me, not because I’ve been desensitized, but because I’m good at compartmentalizing things into a ‘real’ and ‘not real’ category. Of course, this isn’t to say that things that occur in fiction can’t happen in real life, lord knows that isn’t the case, just that I’m really good at telling myself ‘it’s only a novel’ when faced with something that starts to get to me. With non-fiction I can’t do that. When reading about how wounded Civil War soldiers were often eaten alive by feral pigs after a battle, I have to accept that such events really happened; that at some point some poor young man not much different than myself had to struggle in agony as he was being eaten. Things like that stick in my head and upset me. Put it in a fiction book, however, and I’ll probably just marvel over the wicked imagination the author had. I might even grow envious of it. But that’s it. Things just don’t get to me when I know it isn’t real. At least they don’t get to me that often. The novel Birdman by Mo Hayder was an exception to this. Halfway through the book I came upon a scene that provided an explanation for something that had been noted earlier in the autopsies of several female bodies, and it was like a blow to my senses with a ball ping hammer. I couldn’t believe I had read what I had just read and had to close the book for a while, my mind completely overwhelmed. After that, once I regained my composure, I silently applauded Mo Hayder for what she had managed, and then quickly told everyone I knew to read the book via Facebook and other social media sites. After all, if something has the power to disturb me, chances are it has the power to disturb a lot of people, and moments like that should never go unshared.

Birdman is a police procedural serial killer novel set in Greenwich, England. Detective Jack Caffery, new to the investigative team, catches a case involving a woman’s body found in a wasteland area. Upon first glance everyone believes the body to be part of a medical school prank due to it looking as if an autopsy had already been performed. Prank it is not, however, and soon more bodies are discovered within the area, all of them bearing the same seemingly unexplainable surgical mutilations. Five total. Little does anyone know the mutilations are just the beginning, for inside the bodies something has been left, something that serves a very twisted, disgusting purpose, something that will make even the most hardened police investigator feel weak in the knees. Making it worse, everyone knows whoever is doing this is just getting started and probably won’t stop until he is either caught or killed. The question is who is he? Also, why is he doing what he is doing and where is he finding his victims? Slowly answers to these questions do arrive, though not in that particular order; answer that bring about images no one wants to think about; images so grotesque that it’s difficult to imagine another human being not only wanting to engage in such acts of depravity, but needing to enact in them to get a sexual release. Catch this person Jack Caffery and his team must, and soon, for things are just getting started. This sick twisted sadist has plans for an event, one that revolves around a very special girl who he will stop at nothing to posses. Have her he will, unless Jack Caffery can figure out who he is first and stop him.

Well written, thought provoking, and completely engaging, Birdman by Mo Hayder is a novel I would recommend to everyone who loves a good mystery tale, especially those that enjoy a dark and gritty realistic look at the twisted side of humanity. With that be warned, Mo Hayder does not hold back and the subject matter within this tale will get to you. It did me. Some would condemn the book and author for this, I, however, think she deserves praise. Grossing a reader out is easy, anyone can do that, but skillfully disturbing them to the point that they have to put the book down for a moment and reassess things; that my friends takes some serious talent. It should also bring excitement since this is just the first in a series of tales featuring Detective Jack Caffery; a series that I’ve been told harbors many other disturbing elements that will leave readers completely speechless. It might also leave them asking how an author who looks so sweet and innocent could imagine such horrible things. In fact, for some, that might be the most startling thing of all about these books.

My Mother, Sharing the Love of Horror

2012-05-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

My Mom with Baby Tigers

In honor of Mother’s Day I thought it would be fun to write a blog post dedicated to all those wonderful mother figures in the horror field. You know, mothers like Mrs. Voorhess, Mrs. White, and Mrs. Bates; mothers whom, through their undying love, helped create some of the most memorable children the world has ever seen. Unfortunately, that post was not to be, mostly because I’m too exhausted from an incredible night of sexual deviance that I shared with someone else’s mother. Come to think of it, my downstairs neighbors are probably exhausted from it too. We were quite loud. Anyway, instead of writing about all those incredible mothers, I decided to write about my own incredible mother. She is, after all, the reason I became a horror fan, and thus, eventually, a horror writer. My grandmother was a part of it too. In fact, I’m sure my mother’s love of horror was generated by my grandmother’s love of horror. It may even go back further. At some point in that family some mother was probably reading the new releases of Edger Allen Poe by candlelight to her child as a bedtime story. The clarity by which I can picture such an event is remarkable, and almost makes me wonder if my mind is actually looking into the past. So, influenced by what was probably a generational thing of passing down ones love of horror to their children, and doing so in a way that didn’t force the love but just encouraged it, my mother created a fascination of the horror genre within me that would forever guide my life.

My earliest memories of this arrives from seeing my mother reading Misery by Stephen King on the couch by the window in the first house we lived in (the house where my brother and I were once almost put to bed in the attic with a raccoon who had managed to get inside – more on that in another post). She was suffering a tooth infection then, but this didn’t seem to take away from the enjoyment she was experiencing as Annie Wilkes continued to torture the poor Paul Sheldon. Another vivid memory is of her telling me about the time she had read The Shining by Stephen King while riding the train to Kansas. She was a little girl then and without warning the power on the train went out. In the midst of this she began to smell oranges, which in turn created a fear within her that she was able to convey to me a decade later. Of course, she wasn’t experiencing any psychic phenomenon at the time, the lady next to her had just started to eat an orange, but even so the story of her terror managed to create a terror within me, one which I stared at for ten years while building up the courage to read The Shining for myself.

Eventually, watching her read and hearing about her experiences with the stories while growing up turned into her sharing some of those stories with us. Not all of what she had read was suitable for children our ages, but enough of it was to provide bedtime story material in those years leading up to our being able to read the stuff for ourselves. My fondest memory of those bedtime stories is when she read the prologue of Darkfall by Dean Koontz to us. Christmas vacation from school had just started, and given that the book takes place at Christmas time, she felt it would be a good holiday themed horror tale to put us to sleep with. Sleep did not come that night, though we did remain quiet afterward, my brother and I realizing that if some small hellish creature was in the heating ducts the last thing we wanted to do was let it know our location.

Of course, our journey into the world of horror was not limited to written works. No, no, no. During this time my mother would browse the TV Guide like crazy in hopes of spotting some horror flick she and I could watch (my brother was not interested in these yet). She also would rent movies from the local Blockbuster. The result, we watched dozens upon dozens of movies in her back bedroom, movies like Halloween, The Haunting, Outbreak, The Haunting of Hill House, 13 Ghosts, and several others whose titles escape me at the moment, movies that always scared the crap out of me. Interestingly one set of movies she didn’t want me watching was the Child’s Play trilogy. Or maybe her telling me not to watch them when babysitting in a creepy house late one night in October was her way of making sure I would watch them, and thus, get the crap scared out of me again. You never can tell with her.

Sometimes my mother did need a break from our frequent immersion into the horror genre – she was only human after all. Thankfully, my grandmother was happy to take the reigns whenever this occurred. Her method of engulfing us in horror took a different route at times. She lived in an old house that had a wooded lot and when the weather was right for it she would lead us into that forest to where a campfire was waiting. Once there she would test out her own tales of terror on us, ones that she had authored herself. Naturally hearing these tales had twofold effect on me. First, they scared me, as would any good horror tale. Second, they made me realize that nice looking old ladies could be quite twisted and that one should never allow another’s looks to trick them into a false sense of security.

So now, due to all the hard work my mother did in order to pass down the love of horror to me and my little brother, I must now share my appreciation with her to my readers on his fine day. I should also point out that any horrible acts of abuse by a mother to her child in my fiction is purely the result of my imagination, and not autobiographical at all (some have asked about this).

Poor Fools, I Pity Their Ignorance

2012-05-10T18:35:00.001-05:00

One of the great things about Facebook is that you no longer have to wonder whether idiots are afoot for they proudly display their ignorance and lack of knowledge for all the world to see. Never has this been more pronounced than with the recent decision by the state of North Carolina to take away the rights of its homosexual citizenry. All over Facebook people are praising the state for holding up what they believe are the “Christian ideals” surrounding marriage and God’s supposed view that homosexuality is a sin. Most of these statement come in an unintelligible form of English that could easily be improved by a first grade literacy level, English that, once deciphered, sounds eerily similar to the toothless drivel produced by those white robed pointy hooded individuals who sometimes make an appearance in public spaces. Equally absurd is their inability to realize the similarities between their statements and the hateful rhetoric that they themselves would probably condemn when heard from the more easily identifiable bigots that pollute humanity. And heaven help anyone who decides to post a statement refuting their words, especially if you use logic, because rather than take the time to contemplate what you are saying they will rifle off a quick response that does little to debate your statement. It will probably attempt to insult you though, which in itself can be quite amusing because why on earth would these people think that being labeled ‘gay’ would be an insult when you just spent ten minutes typing up a response supporting the rights of individuals that proudly carry such a label. Also be ready for the flood of responses from their friends who, naturally all feel the same way as they do. What can I say, people like to surround themselves in groups that they feel comfortable in, thus, idiots on Facebook tend to friend other idiots. Now, this isn’t to say all their friends are idiots. A few probably are well meaning thoughtful individuals. In fact, you are probably one yourself since you are seeing their posts. These individuals, however, aren’t the ones quickly pulling the trigger on an ignorant response. Instead, they will usually recognize the fact that you produced a very level headed intelligible criticism to the original statement and click LIKE. They may also shake their head in embarrassment at how ridiculous their friend is appearing to the masses. Sadly, none of this will have any effect on the original poster. In fact, their like-minded friends will probably give them enough praise to make them think you are the idiot, one that they replied into submission given your decision to quit wasting your time with their post.

Jason Voorhees Vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

2012-05-07T10:50:00.000-05:00

I think I may have mentioned this before, but decided to bring it up a second time since I just watched Friday the 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan last night and was hit with this amazing image once again. As before, the image occurred toward the end of the movie during the scenes where Jason is finally prowling the urban streets and back alleyways of the city. In it I can’t help but picture a face off between Jason Voorhees and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the latter group having come to the rescue of Rennie and her friends. Such a scene would be cool in my opinion, though somewhat scary too because I wouldn’t want to see my green childhood heroes seriously hurt by a seemingly unstoppable force. Battered and bruised by the Foot, okay, I can handle that. Cut up a bit by the Shredder, that is to be expected. But losing an arm or leg to Jason’s machete, that might be too much for me. On the flip side maybe they would win. I mean, it is four against one, and they are skilled in the ninja arts. In fact, maybe such a confrontation would finally spell the end to the hockey-masked fiend, one which he would not be able to come back from. Who knows? Sadly, I doubt such an outcome will ever be realized. Jason visited the city before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles started patrolling the streets, and given his experience there, I don’t think he will return. I also can’t picture the turtles going to Crystal Lake, despite how appropriate a lake setting would be for them. No, going that route would stretch the movie’s credibility a bit. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles belong in the sewers of New York City, not in some idyllic lakeside setting. Changing that up just wouldn’t work. So, alas, I will have to stick with picturing the scene in my head every time I watch Friday the 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan and see Jason walking through Times Square and the surrounding areas.

A Great Blog Post: 3 Tips for Self-Publishing Success by Lindsay Buroker

2012-05-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

It isn’t often that I will post a post whose sole purpose is to link to another post on another blog, but after stumbling upon and reading the 3 Tips for Self-Publishing Success post written by Lindsay Buroker, I just had to share it. The information within is spot on, especially the first tip, which is something I have tried to stress to new writers several times in the past. Rather than rehash my thoughts on this tip here, however, I suggest reading the post itself -- especially if you are a new writer contemplating self-publishing your work. After that, if you really want to know my thoughts on the first tip, check the comment section where I replied. Everything I have ever said about it is right there.

Here is the link if you missed it above: 3 Tips for Self-Publishing Success

A Publisher Queried Me!

2012-05-04T09:00:00.002-05:00

Something pretty cool happened yesterday. I received a query letter from an editor at a publishing house asking if I would be interested in doing a limited edition hardcover print run on my novel JIMMY as well as having it distributed under their eBook and possibly their paperback line. I replied with a yes and am now waiting to hear back from them on whether or not a deal will be made. The publisher is Altar 13, an imprint of Delirium, a company I had actually been looking at the other day as a possible place to submit future works. As many of you know, the reason I self-published my work on the Amazon Kindle was to see if my books really were something people would want to read. If the answer was yes, I planned to take that information to an agent or a publisher one day to see if they would be interested in it. As it turns out, I didn’t have to wait that long, not when people in the publishing world were gifting each other my novel JIMMY and reading it with enjoyment. Now I will just cross my fingers and hope this decision is a good one. JIMMY has been making me quite a bit of money as a self-published eBook title, something that could possibly change once a publisher is involved. At the same time I believe working with a publisher, especially one that has an impressive client list of horror authors, could open doors for me that self-publishing just can’t, door that will lead to bigger and better things. If nothing else, it will be nice to finally have a legitimate book publishing credit to my name. Given the success I have already seen, having such a publishing credit isn’t exactly necessary, but it also doesn’t hurt. Plus, if things don’t work out, I can always go back to self-publishing my work. That is the nice thing about today’s writing world, authors actually have options

If You Are Wondering Whether or Not This Hurt . . .

2012-05-01T16:27:00.001-05:00

. . . the answer is YES. I’m not really sure what possessed me to attempt some of my old gymnastics moves while hiking in Starved Rock, IL the other day, especially since it has been ten years since my last competition. All I know is that it didn’t work out the way I envisioned, which in turn made the rest of the hike toward a different canyon with a waterfall that we all wanted to see quite painful. It also has made sitting at my desk and typing painful which is why I will only be doing a thousand words a day for the next week or two.

So, what did I attempt to do? I hate to say it, but a simple handstand on a rock, one that I thought would make a great picture. Back when I was a gymnast, and for several years afterward, doing handstands was something that didn’t even require thought. I would just kick up into one and hold it when people wanted me to put my money where my mouth was, usually because I boasted that I could do one in any suggested location. Because of this people have seen me do handstand on roofs (while working construction), in trees, on rocks, on bikes, on money bars, and once on a cannon while wearing a Civil War uniform. Oh, I also did one during a Civil War dance, one where all the women in line behind the guy who was leading them (me) had to mimic everything the guy did. Honestly, who doesn’t want to see a lady in a corset and ball gown attempt a handstand? Anyway, forgetting that I can barely carry my groceries up the steps these days due to the disease that has weakened my body significantly over the last seven years, I attempted a handstand on the slippery sand cover rock. Thankfully, when my muscles gave out and I lost my balance point – before I even got into the correct position – I was able to push off a bit, which in turn made me fall sideways rather than face first. The result: one broken finger, three really torn up fingers, a foot long bruise along the side of my right leg, a very sore back, and an ego that will never be the same.

Lesson learned?

Oh yeah. Next time I’m telling my friends to bring a video camera too because I think having video of this, rather than just pictures, would have been amazing. It might even have been good enough to win money on some home video show. And if you’re wondering, the next trip I plan on doing with these friends will involve skiing. Think I can still do a twisting back flip? Yep, me too. And really, how hard can it be with the added weight of skis?

Pet Peeve Time: People Who Skim Through a Book

2012-04-30T11:55:00.001-05:00

Though I first started to notice readers stating they had skimmed the book in some of the more negative reviews for my own work, I have since come to realize this is not an isolated occurrence with my titles. All over Amazon and other sites where customers can review works I see statements made by readers that they simply skimmed the book to see where it was going rather than reading it line for line, and then, based on this, they often give a low review of the work because it wasn’t that good. Even worse, many of these customers report doing this with everything they read, the same statement of I skimmed or jumped ahead several chapters to see if anything would happen, but nothing did appearing over and over again in their reviews. Does this make sense to anyone? For me I just want to shake my head and ask, “How do you know nothing happened, you might have skipped over it?” Of course they’d likely give me a bullshit response that goes something like, “I’m good at skimming and can tell where I need to start reading again.” Really? I doubt it. Skim reading a book is the equivalent of watching a movie in fast-forward. Sure, you might get an idea of what is happening, and you might even be able to grasp some of the finer details of the story, but you won’t really understand it, and thus, you can’t really analyze it. Now, I’m not saying that these people would certainly have enjoyed the book if they had read it line for line, not every book matches every reader, but chances are the potential for liking it would be greater and therefore they might find themselves enjoying more reads. They would also be getting their money worth from the book. After all, why buy something that you aren’t going to use? And even if it is free, which happens quite a bit with e-books these days, why not approach it as if money had been spent so that you can not only enjoy the story, but know you got a great deal on it as well?

I Wouldn’t Hurt a Fly . . .

2012-04-26T12:21:00.002-05:00

It has come to my attention that a few of those who have read my novel TEXT MESSAGE believe me to be a sick and twisted individual, one who probably is on the wrong side of the fence when it comes being able to function properly in society. Such comments and theories are to be expected when working in the horror genre, but even so I would like to clarify that I’m not insane. Twisted? A bit. Sick? Well, I do suffer an auto-immune disease. But crazy? Not even close. I’m as sane as they come. Also, forgive me for using a cliché, but I’m the type of person that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Proof of this can be found in my home. The place is full of flies due to the bodies I keep in the closet, and never once have I swatted at a single one. So, hopefully knowing this will put some of my readers at ease. And now, my apologies, but I must go. Some Bible-Thumping Born Again types are at my door. Normally I wouldn’t answer, but earlier I saw them walking down the sidewalk with what appeared to be a teen girl, so I want to see the look on their faces when I ask if she is still a virgin, and if so whether or not she would be willing to participate in a ceremony I’m planning for this weekend.

2012 – Earthquakes, Hail, Meteors, Oh My!

2012-04-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I was talking to some of my enthusiastic ‘end of the world’ friends about the possibility of the world ending in December of 2012 - a popular topic for many years now, one which will soon come to an end regardless of what actually happens as the date arrives. I’m not sure what sparked the conversation this time around, but think it had something to do with the large solar flares we saw last month (that was in March, right), and the subsequent aurora borealis that brightened our nighttime skies. Or maybe it was the usual planetary alignment that allowed us to see five planets for about a week? I don’t remember. Whatever it was, it sparked the discussion; one that eventually concluded with the idea that if any type of rare solar alignment were going to cause cataclysmic events upon our planet we would be seeing the effects of it already. After all, the closer our planet gets to the galactic location that will spell our doom, the more those forces that are going to destroy us would be exerting themselves upon our world, right? Thus, we should be seeing a greater frequency of earthquakes, volcanoes, storms, and other natural planetary occurrences.

Well, to some, these past several days have been a perfect example of just that. It was kind of funny too because after hearing about the earthquake in Indonesia the other day I told one of the above mentioned friends that I might honestly start to believe the ‘world will end in 2012’ theories if we saw three or four more earthquakes that day in various locations around the globe. “Fair enough,” was the reply I received, followed by, “Are you a believer now,” several hours later. “Why?” I asked. “Because there have been significant earthquakes all over the place today in Mexico and off the coasts of California and Oregon,” he told me. “Yeah, but it’s the Ring of Fire,” I said back. “Stuff like this happens.” The short discussion ended with him saying, “Okay, we’ll see.”

So, with his conversation barely out of my mind, I go to visit my parents and what do I see while driving home along I-88 Wednesday night: just a giant greenish blue ball of firing darting across the sky toward Iowa. Given the randomness of such things, however, I didn’t let this go into the ‘things that will happen as the end draws near’ category, though I did think the timing was interesting. Then I heard about the hail in Texas.

Actually, I heard about that the next day after posting a Facebook comment about the meteor I saw, which, I have to admit, I thought was really cool. My friends, knowing I love all things ‘end of the world’ related (who doesn’t, right), sent me the stories about it. Four feet of hail. Have you ever heard of such a thing? At first, some people said it was a hoax, but now, given all the officials that have come forward, it seems to be legit.

Earthquakes, meteors, and one hell of an epic hailstorm; is it enough to say something is drawing near as December of 2012 approaches. I don’t know. What I do know is some of my friends think it does, and will quickly attach the tornado outbreaks of 2011, the birds falling out of the sky events in the south, the lack of snow in the winter of 2011 and 2012, and the amazing heat wave the Chicago area saw in March of 2012 to the list. Could they be right? If so, then I may have just filed the last tax return I will ever have to file. If not, well, it’s always a good thing to know that Mother Nature is crazy, and that the only thing we should expect from her is the unexpected.

By the way, anyone out there hear anything more on that odd zombie-like virus that was hitting kids in Africa? That, more than anything else, is what I’m interested in when it comes to ‘end of the world’ type scenarios. For those that are unaware of what I’m talking about, a news report was sent to me a few weeks ago about an illness that was making kids lose the ability to think. They also started biting people to the point where they had to be tied down. No one knows the cause of the illness or how to cure it. I also haven’t heard anything more about it since then. Cover up? Hmm. I guess we will know soon enough.

I Don’t Hate Traditional Publishers

2012-04-12T13:56:00.002-05:00

As many of you are probably aware, it has become fairly common amongst those who have found success with self-publishing to talk about how much they hate the world of traditional publishing. Unfortunately, the frequency of such statements has led many to believe that all of us hate traditional publishing, which is why I want to go ahead and state that I don’t fall into that category. This isn’t to say I don’t take issue with many of the aspects currently present within the world of traditional publishing, I just don’t utterly despise it the way many of my fellow authors do. Going a step further, I would most likely accept an offer from a traditional publisher to distribute my work just as long as the terms of the contract were fair. If not, well, the great thing about being successful with self-publishing is that I can say no. After all, why take a book deal if it will bring me less exposure and less money than I’m already achieving? Some might say so I can get rid of the ‘self-published’ label, but you know what, there is something about having a book ranked as the number two bestselling horror and thriller title on Amazon in the UK that nullifies any concern that label may bring. Plus many of my stories have seen print in respectable magazines and anthologies, so who really cares what my current state of distribution is, especially if that current state is allowing me to write full time.

So, why take any deal offered to you?

It is a fair question; therefore, I will try to give a fair answer. First, my dream has always been to have a book deal with a publisher. It is a goal I have been striving toward for more than ten years, a goal that sometimes saw me waking up long before sunrise so I could pen ten pages before going to school, or to work roof construction, or as a dishwasher, or as a drive-thru manager. It is a goal I strived toward while barely able to function when sick from a mysterious illness that put a hole in my small intestine and bladder, a goal I worked toward while my late wife was sick and waiting for a double lung transplant. It is a goal I came very close to achieving many times to the point of making life-changing financial decisions only to have disaster strike (um . . . Dorchester comes to mind). Simply put it is a goal that has been with me for a long time, one that I don’t want to just set aside without having achieved it (but I also won’t sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting on it). Second, I have no desire to print and distribute my own works. Formatting and uploading an e-book is one thing, but trying to find a market place beyond websites for a self-published title is another. Plus I would have to charge quite a bit more than regular market value to make a profit on those printed titles, which is something I don’t want to do. I myself hate buying overly expensive books, so why would I try to get readers to do the same? Third, I have a strong feeling that the world of traditional publishing will turn itself around. Maybe not next year or in the next five, but a time will come when both forms of distribution work hand in hand. Some may disagree with me on this final reason, but they won’t change my opinion about it. I’ve studied history and economics and if there is one thing both will teach you it is that when a void in a marketplace is present something will fill it. At the moment Amazon has the upper hand in this, but other companies, some with a more ‘traditional’ style of publishing, will fight their way to the top.

So, there you have it. I may be a successful ‘self published’ writer, but that doesn’t mean I hate the ‘traditional’ publishing world. I just think they need to shape up a bit and realize they can’t just say ‘this is how things will be’ and expect everyone to just go along with it.

TEXT MESSAGE – New Cover

2012-04-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

Decided it was time for a new cover on my novel TEXT MESSAGE. There was nothing wrong with the old cover – it looked pretty good actually – but for some reason it didn’t sit well as an icon on the ‘what other customers’ bought lists on Amazon, which might have been one of the reasons why it never sold as well as my novel JIMMY. Now, with the new eye-catching cover designed by Neil Jackson, I think this will change. In fact, as of writing this, the novel is now once again on the UK Thriller Bestseller list. Coincidence? Maybe. It is hard to gage these things sometimes. I honestly believe this new cover will make a difference, though. First impressions mean a lot, especially when people have a dozen different items to chose from (some of them free), and with the old cover looking kind of fuzzy as an icon, there is a strong possibility that it was passed over time and time again.

Heading to the 150th Shiloh Reenactment

2012-03-28T06:16:00.001-05:00

As many of you know I often take part in Civil War reenactments on weekends in an attempt to educate the public on what it was like for the average soldier during the Civil War. It is a hobby I have enjoyed for nearly sixteen years now, one that I got involved in after becoming a bit of a Civil War buff in the fifth grade after my grandfather told me his grandfather had been a Confederate soldier during the war. Fascinated by this I started learning everything I could about the war. I also developed a huge interest in American history, not just the Civil War, and thus could often be found with giant history tomes in my hands throughout my junior high and high school careers. At one point during my sophomore year I was even asked to help teach at a teacher conference with a professor from the University of Illinois. He had me dress like a soldier and halt all the teachers with my rifle and bayonet as they entered the classroom to see if they had a pass to go between the lines (talk about something one probably wouldn’t able to do in this day an age). After that I spoke to the teachers about the lives of the average soldier, and then, once finished, hurried back to my own school since I had to compete in a gymnastic meet that night. Busy day.

Back then I was simply a member of a large reenacting unit. Today I run my own with a friend. Our goal was to put together a unit of young (and sometimes old) men who do everything they can to give the public a perfect look at what it was like to be a soldier during the war, something which has earned us recognition throughout much of the reenacting world. It has also made us a few enemies since we despise the ‘we just want to play with our guns in a large field and constantly tell the public that slavery had nothing to do with the war’ image that is so often displayed at events. We also will allow our flag to be captured during battles in scripted scenarios that often involve a lot of hand to hand fighting, which upsets many because they feel we bring dishonor to the flag the men fought under. Given how many men died trying to protect those flags in similar fights during the war, we feel we bring more honor when showing the public this brutal, and difficult to understand aspect of the battle. We also try to show how horrible the field hospitals were, often with dramatic blood displays of wounds that we eventually die from. Warnings are now often given to the spectators about not getting too close if they don’t want blood on them because we will try to interact with them, especially the kids, as we die, often asking them to hold our hand or find a letter in our coat pocket to send back home. Needless to say most of these kids get an experience they probably wouldn’t have been able to take part in while simply sitting in a classroom. We also have done scenes where the soldier dying turned out to be a woman that no one knew about, which was how most of the women that disguised themselves as soldiers were discovered. The lady that does this with us is so good that most of the men in the unit had no idea they were reenacting beside a lady until this scene unfolded.

This weekend I will be taking part in the 150^th anniversary of the battle of Shiloh, which took place on Sunday April 6, 1862 and Monday April 7, 1862. It was the first battle that showed how awful the war was going to be, the causality rates during the two days of fighting unlike anything American had ever witnessed before. It was also the battle where the south lost one of its greatest Generals, a man named Albert Sidney Johnston (a trend that was going to continue throughout the war). General Johnston was shot in the leg on the sixth and due to a previous dueling injury that had occurred many years earlier, he had no idea how serious the wound actually was and bled to death in his boot. Interestingly, I had relatives on both sides of this battle, something that happened quite a bit during the Civil War. The reason for this ‘brother vs brother’ type of fighting was often due to families who were torn over the secession issue and thus would head toward whichever side they agreed with. Believe it or not it was not uncommon for people in northern states to head south to join the Confederacy, nor was in uncommon for people from southern states to head north to join the Union. Even Abraham Lincoln’s family was divided, his wife having brothers that fought for the south. Talk about an awkward situation.

So, my apologies in advance for not updating this blog during the next week. I honestly wanted to write several book and movie review or miscellaneous horror and writing posts that would get scheduled to post, but found myself to overwhelmed with other issues to focus on doing that. Hopefully I will be able to get back into the swing of things once I’m home next week. Until then here are some videos that I have been involved in at events. And of course, this June you can see my unit in Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

Guest Post: Audio Books and Horror Stories

2012-03-25T20:14:00.000-05:00

Today's Guest Post is brought to us by Colin Corlett who hails from Northumberland, UK where he enjoys writing about the countryside on his site www.northumberland-tales.com. A previous guest post by Colin concerning Stephen King's Most Frightening Book can be found here:

We usually forget that until very recently horror stories were told face to face. It wasn’t until the 19th century that printed fiction really began to spread and be available to most people. Before this the stories were spoken and you can imagine travelers sitting around a camp fire and listening to the rise and fall of the story teller as he weaved his magic tales. This is the inheritance of audio books. Not the sterile download or the shining CDs but tales told in the dark.

We all have our own ideas on audio books and here are some of my thoughts:

Horror works well on audio. You can’t skip a few pages to see how it will end; you have to follow the story right through. This allows the tension to build over time until what would be quite a mild chapter in a written book becomes totally enthralling.

For example, listening to Justin Cronin’s The Passage when he builds up nicely to the point that the virals break out of their prison.

Or take the The Strain trilogy by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan. We all know that a threat unseen is more frightening than one that you have confronted. And so it is with The Strain trilogy. Here you get 3 books worth of vampires. They make a good story but to be honest the frightening parts are only really at the start. This is when the "master vampire" arrives in New York within the hold of a transatlantic flight and the lights go out as soon as the plane lands. Left standing on the runway with no communications you can imagine the threat building up until the plane is finally cut open and all the passengers are found to be "dead". Add in the music and this is quite something.

And then there is The Wind Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami. Not an author often associated with horror. However, within this long book is an awful scene where a man is skinned alive. In the written version I would have skipped it quickly, but for the audio I found myself trapped in a car travelling for hours and having to listen with distaste to the agony and terror that was described. Maybe I have just become too used to fast forwarding and audio books have forced me to stop and listen whether I want to or not.

It isn’t always what you think. Some books make the transition very well and others suffer miserably. This is often down to the quality of the reader and here you will get to know the good ones.

For example, Will Patton reading James Lee Burke and Jeff Harding reading John Connolly. These guys make the books better, far better. Personally, I didn’t take to James Lee Burke until I had listened to an audio recording. There are parts of a story where by slowing down and with subtle changes you will find that a section which you had skipped over when the book was first read suddenly assumes a new meaning. These discoveries are like suddenly finding little treasures.

The flip side of this is that the repeated use of phrases such “Reacher said nothing” within a Lee Child novel will start to grate on you.

Another book improved by audio is Lisey's Story by Stephen King. This was a strange Stephen King novel. The heroine has lost her husband but the intimate things which they shared carry on throughout the narrative. These include their pet words and funny ways of looking at the world. I found the written version difficult and grew irritated at the odd phrases. However, with the audio book these oddities became creepy and crept under your skin. Eventually I started to wonder if the slightly off centre world described in the book was beginning to impinge on my everyday life and this I didn't like. I am sure that King didn't write this book with audio readings in mind but it sure translated well.

A similar example is found in Jo Nesbo's last book The Leopard. I don't enjoy his books when in print but when read aloud they seem to spring to life. Nesbo is one of those authors who just seem to get more graphic with each novel. You know what is coming and it isn't nice. Handle with care.

Music will make you jump. It always surprises me that audio recordings don’t make more use of music. The first of The Strain trilogy used music at the end of each chapter and it took me back to my childhood in a cinema being terrified as the music built up in a frightening scene. Think of Psycho and showers and you have the idea.

You can get carried away. A fast-paced novel will keep you entranced. I know that this is the same as a well-written book but once you have listened to a Harlan Coban novel you will wonder how time can slip away so fast.

Of course, the “dead bits” are a drag. Not the dead people but the parts of a novel where the author loses his way. You come to these and you just know that you have maybe 30 minutes of tedium until he gets back on track,

What doesn’t work?

Sci-fi can be a challenge. You get these alien names which can be fine in print but you try listening to them and it isn’t good. I have often wondered if War and Peace with all the Russian names suffers the same fate?

Many voices. This is a real challenge. Should you have one reader who does many different voices or many different readers for each voice?

Numbers and tables. There is no way a sequence of numbers or a table of facts and figures will ever translate into an audio book. Remember this the next time you are tempted by a business audio book.

What is the best way to listen to an audio book?

I have always found listening on a long journey, especially if travelling overnight is a great way to do it justice. But be careful as you can often fall asleep (if you are not driving) and then it can be a real hassle to try and find the point where you stopped listening.
Also playing the sound in an evening beside an open fire and with the lights low can be good.

On the IPod in the gym works well, but I guess we will all have our favorite times.

Where do you get an audio book and how should you choose one?

I first borrowed them from the local library. This was very cheap and if it didn’t work then I had only really lost some time. However, they are increasingly being bought from Audible (a division of Amazon) and with this you tend to find the real value is in signing up for a subscription.

The problem with Audible is that they only give you a short recording to help you decide if you want to buy. To me this is crazy. It is like going into a bookshop and being told that you can only read the first two pages of any book before you buy. Bizarre!

So in conclusion audio books are well worth listening to. And now I will end this brief article with a question. If you were an author, would you change the way in which you write if you knew that audio books and not printed paper would be how your work was distributed?

A Thought by William: Audio books are something I have yet to venture into, but while reading this short guest post I did realize I could identify with some of the statements the author makes about how horror works so well when directed toward the ear rather than the eye. The reason for this is the stories my grandmother used to tell around the campfire in the woods behind her house. Never in my life have I repeatedly experienced such terror from fiction. Her stories, and the way she told them, never failed to scare me and because of this, my mind will often drift back to those moments when attempting to pen my own fiction. I also now wonder if hearing a story in my dark apartment, or while driving down a dark country road will have the same effect? It is something I really want to try because it has been far too long since anything I have read (or watched) has actually frightened me.

And now, to answer the question posed in this article about whether or not an author would change the way they wrote if they knew the book was going to audio rather than the printed page (or screen). For me, the answer would be no simply because the way I write is the only way I know how to write, so if I purposely tried to change it chances were it wouldn’t come out sounding like me. I also know from experience that my stories usually don’t work well when read before a large group because I tend to use a lot of inner thought and dialogue within the tale. That said, if asked to write something for audio I would do my best to keep things like character and location names simple. In the book On Writing Stephen King talks about doing this with his story “1408”. In the original version of the story the Olin character was named Ostermeyer, but after a while he realized that name would be difficult to pronounce over and over again when doing the audio version of the story, thus he changed it. In turn, this probably helped the listener enjoy the tale more as well.

Helpful Writing App

2012-03-23T19:55:00.001-05:00

Any of my fellow writers out there ever suffer character name blocks? It happens to me all the time. When working on a new project, or when discovering a new character within an existing project, I can literally spend hours struggling to come up with a name. Even worse, my mind apparently seems to be drawn to the same names over and over again. My short story collection SCRAPING THE BONE: TEN DARK TALES made this quite clear, though I didn’t realize it until after my editor looked over the stories and wrote me a note stating Too many Tim’s. Three to be exact, in a ten-story collection, each in back to back stories (written years apart of course). Coincidently one of the main characters in my novel NIKKI’S SECRET, which I was working on at that time, was also named Tim. Don’t ask me why, the name just always seems to pop up. And it is not the only one. Glen, Linda, Susan, Alan, Amanda, Stacy, and Peter always try to get top billing in my stories. Thankfully, my little brother, Tom, who started designing I-Phone apps after his discharge from the military, came up with a solution for me: the Name a Tron app.

WHAT IS THAT?!?

It is an I-phone app that randomly generates full characters names. You select the gender is selects the name. Over and over again names will appear on screen, each one brought forth by a simple shake of the phone. How cool is that!

So, if any of you out there are like me and have trouble coming up with character names, I would strongly suggest giving the little link below a click and grabbing Tom’s NAME A TRON app. It only costs $0.99 cents and is worth every penny. Hell, given all the time it saves me, it’s worth ten times that.

The NAME A TRON app link

FUNNY SIDE NOTE: The first name that came up during his test phase of the app was Fidel Castro. We both got a good chuckle out that that. Seriously, what are the odds?

FUNNY SIDE NOTE # 2: As a young writer I once really pissed off a magazine editor with a character that had the name Donald Westlake. It’s funny because at the time of writing the story I remember having a different last name for the Donald character, but then I changed it during a rewrite when the last name of Westlake appeared in my mind. It just seemed to fit so well. After the earful from the editor I realized why.

Carrie Trailer Still – Notice Anything Interesting

2012-03-19T19:36:00.000-05:00

Earlier today while bored – a common problem in my place it seems – I popped in the Special Edition DVD of Carrie to check out the special features. It is something I’ve never done before with this DVD, which is odd since I’ve pretty much watched the special features of all my other DVDs a dozen times. While in there I decided to watch the trailer, which, again, was the first time around for me. Toward the end of it something jumped out at me; something that is a pet peeve of mine when it happens elsewhere. The still from the trailer below shows just what this was. Can anyone else see it? I’m sure the mistake has been pointed out before (how could it not be), yet somehow I’ve never heard mention of it.

JIMMY Climbs the Bestseller Lists

2012-03-18T18:40:00.000-05:00

I have to say, I was a bit overwhelmed yesterday. Hell, I still am today. It began when I woke up around eight (why I slept so late when I normally get up at five is a mystery to me, but oh well). Normally I don’t jump online right away, but yesterday I decided to for a bit while waiting for the coffee to brew. As per routine when singing online I jumped onto my Amazon Kindle Dashboard right away to see what my sales were like. US sales are always first and while impressive, they weren’t anything to jump up and down about. I then clicked over to the

sales and . . . HOLY COW, THE SALES MATCHED MY US SALES. This has never happened before. Though decent, my sales of JIMMY in the UK have always lagged when compared to the US sales. TEXT MESSAGE on the other hand always seems to be doing somewhat well over there, yet not so well in the US. I have no idea why. As of today this has now changed. Within an hour those UK sales had doubled, and by the time lunch rolled around another digit had been added to the total. Even better JIMMY had made it onto the top twenty for kindle horror titles, as well as the top twenty for all thriller books (printed and kindle). An hour later I realized I had made enough to pay my rent during just the morning hours (something I had actually already done that month, but never in such a short period of time). By dinner I found JIMMY was in the top ten in both the categories mentioned above, and had also found its way into the top twenty in the suspense category. Somehow during all this I was able to get 1500 words added to my latest novel (a really honest to god mystery tale this time around – I don’t even know who the killer is yet and I’m nearly three hundred pages in), and then joined my friends at a St. Patrick’s Day party.

Party note that is total off topic, but oh well: I don’t drink. Instead, I watched everyone else drink and mentally record everything that happens. This time around I also discovered my friend’s phone had been left on an Internet dating site where you can rate peoples pictures. Naturally I went through them and clicked ‘like’ on every penis picture I could find. I can’t wait for him to sober up and see what his profile has been up to. At the same time I’m a bit worried what his payback will be like.

Anyhow, I somehow managed to go to bed last night rather than sit up watching the statistics on the book (this is why I was apprehensive about getting the Internet back in my apartent), my mind curiously wondering what the morning would bring. And then morning came and like the day before I signed online while the coffee was brewing – a bad habit I mean to put an end to tomorrow – and HOLY COW, JIMMY IS RANKED NUMBER TWO IN HORROR AND THRILLER NOVELS. I couldn’t believe it. Still can’t really. Number two; out of all the horror and thriller titles in the UK. This is a spot where King, Koontz, Lumley, Wilson, Keene, Rice, Barker, Simmons, and all the other names I see on my bookshelves hang out; a place I always looked at in the terms of ‘one day, when I’m successful . . .’ not ‘today while sitting in my dumpy little two room apartment that has no air conditioning.’ But ‘today’ it is. Today will forever mark the day where something I wrote made it to the top portion of the bestseller list. Not the very top, but second from it which isn’t anything to sneer at. Hell, just being in the top 100 isn’t anything to sneer at, and something that would have been a dream come true not to long ago. It was then that something clicked with me: I’m a successful writer. In fact, I have been for quite some time now. It’s something I didn’t really clearly see despite living it, something some of my friends and family still don’t realize because I’m not getting mega book deals like the authors they love, or doing signings at bookstores, or deciding what movie deal I want to take for this novel and that novel. The truth is, though, I have been paying my rent and putting food on my table for several months with the money earned from my novels. That is success, right? I’m making a living from writing. A threadbare one, yes, but it’s still a living, and something I couldn’t even claim while working in fast food joints, or roof construction, or as a dishwasher. Now the only question I have is will it continue?

I think it will, but then I really have no idea what will happen tomorrow or the next day or next year. That’s just the way working in an artistic field driven by customers is. One never knows what they will like and what they won’t like, and for what reason. The only certainty is what was bought yesterday and the day before, not what will be bought tomorrow and the day after.

Two Free Books

2012-03-14T12:48:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to give everyone out there a heads up that my novel JIMMY and my short story collection SCRAPING THE BONE: TEN DARK TALES are both free on Amazon right now. This will be the last of my free offerings for quite some time as I make my current titles available with other e-book markets, so, if interested, grab them now. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

UPDATE: The books are no longer free, but they still cost less than a gallon of gas!

Jimmy Description: High school can be a difficult time in a young person’s life, especially toward the end where one has to start making the sudden transition into adulthood. For Jimmy Hawthorn it is even worse. Not only does he need to successfully make that transition, he has to do it while hiding the fact that he is the one responsible for the disappearances of two fellow high school girls, both of whom are prisoners in a secret underground fallout shelter he discovered behind an abandoned house on the outskirts of town.

Scraping the Bone Description: A young couple seeks a cozy summer vacation at a forgotten family cabin in the woods, one that harbors a terrible secret; a frightened wife fleeing her abusive husband may be running into terror rather than away; a grieving boy, convinced his little brother has been buried alive, goes on a quest to the graveyard; a quiet man nervously waits for a phone call, but what kind of condition will the woman be in if she makes that desired call; a man takes his dog for a walk through a neighborhood where parents and police keep a close watch due to a predator preying on the children; and five more little tales of horror . . .

A Quick Question on Scream (1996)

2012-03-12T12:34:00.001-05:00

Is it a horror film with comedy elements, or comedy film with horror elements? I asked this question to someone the other day and they just starred at me, face seeming to say, “What’s the difference?” Had he actually voiced the question I would have explained it, but since he didn’t I just walked away feeling sad. The reason for this sadness was due to the feeling that when asked most people would probably give me the same look, unless, of course, they are true horror fans. When that is the case the difference is usually pretty clear -- at least it is with the crowd of horror fans I associate with (in real life as apposed to in the cyber world). For other horror fans it might not be, and that, my friends, is a frightening thing to contemplate. So now I ask what your thoughts on this are; is Scream a horror film with comedy elements or a comedy film with horror elements? For me the answer always is a horror film with some comedy elements, ones that actually add to the overall horror of the film because the elements feel so real (a killer tripping because of the mask’s visibility issues, kids talking about the clichés of horror films, etc). Others may disagree. Either way I’d love to hear thoughts on this.

Another Quick Question: Can new horror fans go into this movie without all the spoofs having ruined it? Those of us that enjoyed this movie when it first came out saw it without all the spoofs having made an impact. I wonder if that makes a difference now?

My Amazon Kindle Publishing Experience: February 2012

2012-03-01T13:39:00.000-06:00

Goodbye February, and good riddance. Sheesh, what a horrible month that was. In my January update I mentioned how February had started out badly, but that maybe it would end well. It did, but that ending didn’t do much in making up for the earlier disappointing sales statistics that plagued my books through the first two in a half weeks of that month. Fortunately, March is off to a great start, and like I said, the final week in February helped quite a bit. In fact, all three of my books (JIMMY, TEXT MESSAGE and SCRAPING THE BONE) made it onto several top 100 bestseller UK lists during that week, which is always good. Even so, those first few weeks of February have left me shaken. I’m pretty sure several other writers feel the same way too. I wasn’t the only one seeing a sudden drop, and sometimes sudden stops, in sales for weeks at a time. All across the web I saw authors voicing concern about this. I also saw many of them pointing fingers at the thousands of authors who were listing their books for free during the month. I myself pointed a finger that way at times, but didn’t really voice outrage over it in the social media centers because I knew it wouldn’t really accomplish anything. Also, deep down inside, I knew this was probably just one factor in several that came together, and that trying to figure the why of it would just be a waste of time. Things like this happen. Plus, there were other authors reporting great sales for the month, so one can’t really say with any amount of certainty what killed some authors sales and what boosted others. All I know is my sales were really down. I also know that releasing books for free doesn’t have the same effect it did back in early January, not when I had a measly two hundred downloads for an entire day on my novel JIMMY in late February when I released it for free. In early January I had hundreds of downloads an hour. Big difference. But enough bitching and moaning, right. I’ll still be able to pay my bills in May when I get my check for February, which is great, so lets move on to some of the positive moments from the month.

As I noted above JIMMY, TEXT MESSAGE and SCRAPING THE BONE made several different top 100 bestseller lists in the UK during the final days of February. For JIMMY and TEXT MESSAGE the lists they were usually found on were the thriller list, which was under the overall book category rather than just the kindle category, and the kindle horror list. The distinction between the overall book list and the kindle list seems noteworthy to me because that meant they were competing and showing positive results against all books, not just those that had been listed as kindle e-books. At one point JIMMY was sitting right next to a Richard Laymon title, which, while not one of my favorite authors, was still pretty cool because he is a long-time bestselling author that many people enjoy. Seeing something like this is always a good moral boost, especially for a writer who has struggled for years to get his books into print. For SCRAPING THE BONE the top 100 list for UK books that it could often be found on (and currently found out) was the horror anthology list. Of course, as I’ve pointed out before, a book of stories by a single author is not an anthology, but a collection, but this doesn’t seem to make much of a different to Amazon. Readers haven’t complained either, so I won’t make a big deal out of it. Hell, who would complain when their book has made such a list? Now my only hope for March is that I can break into the top 100 lists in the US. I’ve come close with JIMMY and TEXT MESSAGE, though more often with JIMMY than TEXT MESSAGE, but not quite close enough it seems. I do think it will happen, soon, however.

February saw some changes to my books as well. With JIMMY I went in and corrected some of the errors that were found by different readers, errors that my editor, proofreaders, and myself all missed, errors like a cry of “Sweat Jesus!” instead of “Sweet Jesus!” and the used of the word ‘principle’ when ‘principal’ should have been used. None of these errors took away from the enjoyment of the book, according to the readers, but they still did embarrass me – especially when some asked whether or not the book had been edited. The answer for my books is always yes. Editors are human, however, so mistakes do slip through. Hell, I found a few in Mile 81 by Stephen King the other day, and we all know his work has many eyes on it before it sees publication. Now, I’m not trying to justify their presence within my book (if I did I wouldn’t have bothered fixing them), just letting some know that it can happen to anyone. Another change was in the product description for TEXT MESSAGE. A recent study has shown that longer descriptions work better for fiction. TEXT MESSAGE had a two-sentence description. Now it has one that reads: Mr. Campbell enjoys working at the Park Place Mall. In fact, he likes the mall so much that sometimes he stays there overnight just so he can wander the open hallways and browse through the stores all by himself. The only thing more enjoyable than being within the mall alone is having a female companion there with him, one clothed in a sexy undergarment from the risky lingerie store who must flee his predatory desires. Of course getting a girl to go along with such a fun game isn’t easy. Thankfully he knows a way around this. It seems women become incredibly compliant when the flesh of a love one is threatened, especially when evidence of that threat is sent to them from the loved one’s own phone. As of yet there hasn’t been an huge increase in sales with the new description, but since it was changed in February – AKA, THE WORST MONTH EVER -- I’m not really going to base anything on it. One thing I do know, JIMMY has had a nice long description since its release and sold pretty well from August through January, TEXT MESSAGE did not. So, we shall see what happens. I think it will be positive. Actually, I think overall March is going to be a great month.

Amazon Recommends - Night School (1981)

2012-02-26T11:10:00.000-06:00

Amazon has made several more excellent slasher DVD recommendations for me to purchase, one of which is titled Night School. Until seeing this recommendation, I had never actually heard about this early 80’s slasher flick, yet now, having come face to face with it, really, really, REALLY want to see it. The movie cover, Amazon description and the trailer I found on YouTube all cemented this desire. I’m not sure why, but this one just looks like the type of slasher film I will enjoy.

Amazon Description:

“They work by day, take a full schedule of classes all night and somehow find time for study and an occasional date. Women in the evening curriculum at Boston's distinguished Wendell College do a lot to get ahead in life. But there's someone who will go to even greater heights. Someone will do anything to get a head. A killer whose m.o. is the ritualistic decapitation of victims makes terror a required course at Night School, directed by Kenneth Hughes (Casino Royale) and starring Rachel Ward (The Thorn Birds; After Dark, My Sweet) in her screen debut. Leonard Mann plays the homicide lieutenant assigned to the puzzling case. He has hunches, not clues. Suspects, not evidence. And a rising body count. Finals are coming early this year at Wendell. And for those who don't make the grade, heads will roll.”

Trailer via YouTube:

Unfortunately, it does seem like this one is going to be a bit of a tough find for me. Blockbuster, whose DVD by mail service I subscribe to, does not have it, nor does the online used section of a video store I frequent. In fact, the only location where I have found the DVD for sale is on Amazon itself, and while I really want to see it, I’m not willing to spend almost thirty dollars for it. If it was a movie I had seen before and couldn’t live with out, then yeah, I probably would, but one that I’ve only been able to speculate about, not a chance. I also have no experience with renting videos from Amazon through their streaming On Demand service, and given my really poor Internet connection, this isn’t something I was to try. So, it looks like I may be out of luck for the time being, which leaves me with my final question: anyone out there ever see this one, and if so, what did you think?