3rd Generation Food Pusher

Shrimp Fajita Quesadillas

2015-03-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

Around here, we like fast dinners. We especially like fast dinners that involve cheese (something tells me I have mentioned this before..). Quesadillas are both fast AND cheesy!

The Shrimp Fajita Quesadillas are especially nice because they have a lot of healthy ingredients and are filling enough to be a full meal, all on their own.

The ingredient list is fairly simple and the prep takes all of 20 minutes. This recipe made 4 quesadillas, plus I had some leftovers to mix together with salad greens for lunch the next day.

2 Bell Peppers
1 Anaheim Pepper
1 Jalapeno Pepper
1 Red Onion
3 Garlic Cloves
1 Avocado
4 Cups Grated Cheese (I used a Tex/Mex blend & Monterrey jack, but whatever you choose)
Whole Wheat Tortillas (or regular flour ones ... more on this in a minute)
1 Can Black Beans (as usual, I prefer low sodium)
Coriander
Cumin
Chili Powder
Salt
Pepper
1/2 Cup Beer, Tequila, or Chicken Stock (to deglaze the pan)
1 Lime (for serving)
Sour Cream (for serving)
Salsa (for serving)
Pan Spray
Cooking oil of choice

And of course, SHRIMP!

I used half of a pound of raw shrimp (deveined but not peeled) that I picked up at the seafood counter in Raley's.

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A few notes on the ingredients:

Regarding the cheese; I've heard several arguments about the merits of freshly grated cheese vs. buying cheese that is pre-grated. Honestly, I haven't noticed a huge difference. I say, use what works for you. If you have a block of cheese that you want to grate and use up, USE IT! If you don't want to bother with a grater like me buy this stuff.

As for the tortillas .... I bought a whole wheat full-of-extra-fiber tortilla to try.

I just thought, by the time you add cheese and shrimp and salsa, they can't be that bad, right? Well.... not entirely correct, it turns out. The quesadillas were very good and very filling and fairly healthy when all was said and done. But I have to say, the whole wheat tortilla was not my favorite. Next time, I'll probably scrap the wheat and use regular plain ol' corn or flour and just eat an extra salad in the following days. But if you've found you like whole wheat tortillas, GREAT, have fun with it.

Basically, use what works for you and your family.

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This is the type of recipe where you need to have your prep work all done before you start cooking. The vegetables can be prepped first; then the shrimp. Raw meat products are full of germs; if we prep the shrimp last it saves having to stop and disinfect the cutting board, knife, hands, and surface in the middle before the veggies come out. Disinfecting will still be necessary, but at least this way you'll only have to clean up once!

First, the bell peppers. Peppers are very fast and easy to prep. Start by cutting off all of the sides, going around from stem to stern. You'll end up with 4 or 5 pieces.

Then, cut off the bottom.

Then, voila! You have the core, including the seeds and stem, all intact (to pitch or add to stock) and the nice fleshy part ready to cook with or eat.

Since we're doing the veggies fajita style today, we're going to julienne everything into pretty little strips.

Next, the prep the yellow pepper and the Anaheim pepper, the exact same way...

Then, the jalapeno. The jalapeno starts the same way as any other pepper, first taking off the sides...

Followed by cutting it into strips ...

But then, since Red Beard and I aren't fan of big pieces of jalapeno (but we like the heat), we're going to dice it small.

Chop the garlic.

Slice the onion.

Chop the cilantro.

Drain and rinse the black beans.

And prep your avocado. First, cut it in half and remove the pit.

Now, cut the halves into quarters.

Now DO NOT grab a spoon and mangle them, trying to get the flesh out of the skin. Instead, just gently peel off the skin from each quarter.

Slice and set aside. Usually, you'd need to add lime or lemon juice to keep the slices from browning, but they aren't going to be out long enough this time to worry about it.

Last, the limes. I learned this trick from a visiting professor my second semester of culinary school. Before cutting the lime into quarters (wedges), first cut off each end to flatten it.

THEN cut the lime into quarters. You end up with a citrus wedge that is easier to squeeze because the flat ends make it easier to grip (and, as he pointed out, it just looks cleaner).

After the peppers and onions, garlic, limes, cilantro, and avocado have all been cut and set aside, it's time to start on the shrimp. Start by peeling and pulling the tails off.

Then, slice them all LENGTHWISE in half.

They still look like shrimp, but now there are twice as many pieces. Plus, they are a little flatter; we are going to jam so much stuff into these quesadillas that having the ingredients be a little flatter is very helpful.

Wash your hands (raw shrimp germs are nasty). Now, add lots of seasoning. I used coriander, cumin, chili powder, salt, and pepper.

Time to start cooking!

For recipes like this, I love coconut oil. I've tried several brands, from Raley's and Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, but this one, from Costco, is by far my favorite:

Of course, feel free to use olive oil, or olive oil and butter, or just butter. I'm a big fan of all of those. Lately, I've just noticed that I prefer using coconut oil for Tex/Mex and Asian cooking.

Add about 1 and a half tablespoons of oil to a skillet (coconut oil comes out solid at room temperature, rather like butter) and bring up to just under medium heat.

When the oil is hot, toss in the shrimp. Let them cook about 2 minutes before you move them around. They cook really quickly (especially since they were cut in half) and you want to get a little color on them.

When they are pink and done, but not dry and hard (over cooked shrimp are tough), put them in a bowl and set aside. Add the peppers, onions, jalapeno, and garlic to the skillet.

Don't worry about any brown bits from the shrimp. Brown bits equal flavor, learn to love them. Season the veg with salt and pepper to taste. I also added a few shakes of chili powder. Give the veg about 5 minutes on medium heat, until you start to see some color (more brown!).

Then, add your liquid (either beer, tequila, or broth) to deglaze the pan. I used a bottle of Corona we had hanging around in the fridge. The mystery is, we can't figure where this single bottle of Corona came from. Red Beard hates it, so we never buy it... and most of the people who come to our house bring Elephant Beer or Stella.

As you pour and stir, scrape the bottom of the pan and get all the good stuff up.

There will be lots of sizzling and a happy fragrant cloud of steam. Enjoy it! When the veg have some color, and they are cooked, but the peppers are still a little crispy, empty them into a bowl and set aside. Wipe out the skillet with a paper towel and get ready to assemble your quesadillas.

To make the assembly go smoothly, lay everything out on the counter where you can grab it easily.

I used pan spray (instead of butter) to cook the quesadillas:

Coconut oil again! Ever since I discovered the coconut oil version of Pam (vs. vegetable oil) it's all I've used; I like the flavor (or lack of) much better than the vegetable oil sprays. While I am a fan of butter (please, don't start thinking I don't like butter), I can burn butter almost as fast as I can burn bread under a broiler. Coconut oil has a nice high smoke point that results in a longer cooking time on the quesadilla (meltier cheese) without anything burning.

Heat the skillet over low-to-medium heat, and spray.

Add your tortilla to the pan, keeping in mind that it is going to be folded in half (the finished product will look like a half circle). Add some cheese, keeping mostly to 1 half of the tortilla, leaving plenty of folding space (cheese is the yummiest glue around).

Folded quesadillas are easier to flip. Trust me.

Then add some shrimp and avocado slices.

Followed by some black beans, fajita veggies, and cilantro.

And more cheese. Then fold over the tortilla and flip when you think the cheese is melty enough. Whole wheat tortillas don't get as perfectly crisp as corn/flour tortillas do, be warned. When it's as toasty and melty as you like it (about 90 seconds to 2 minutes per side), pull it out of the pan and lay on a cutting board for slicing (some how, the pictures of the last layer of cheese and the flipping got deleted; sorry folks).

To serve, cut in half or thirds. Serve with salsa, sour cream, and a lime wedge.

Overall, these were a hit. Yes, the tortillas were a little odd (think cardboard...) but once some salsa was smeared around everything was perfect.

Recipe coming soon to Tasty Kitchen!

Bruschetta with Roasted Peppers

2015-02-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

Last night for dinner, we had bruschetta. Not the traditional version, with the garlic-rubbed grilled bread and the cold toppings. MY version, that includes piping hot yummy toppings with melted cheese. Also known as The Fastest Dinner Ever that Doesn't Involve Take-Out.

It's pretty much an open-faced grilled cheese sandwich. And who doesn't like grilled cheese?

It's fast, super easy, and most of the ingredients are things I usually have on hand anyway. Or, the toppings can be adjusted to include whatever you have on hand. It's very versatile! And did I mention, gooey cheese?!

Ingredients:

French bread
Unsalted Butter (softened & spreadable)
Italian Parsley
Havarti Cheese (sliced)
Gouda Cheese (sliced)
Roasted Peppers (in the jar, it's about speed)
Prosciutto (thin sliced)
Salt
Pepper

That's it! I prepped 8 pieces because there were only two of us, but there's enough ingredients here to assemble twice that.

Start by slicing and buttering your bread.

Arrange the buttered bread on a sheet pan. As always, spray the pan first - melty cheese is hell to scrub off.

Toast under the broiler until the bread looks extra yummy. Watch it closely! As you can see, I left it in about 15 seconds too long.

Once the bread is done, set it aside and preheat your oven to 425º.

Next, chop your parsley.

Drain the peppers and lay them out on paper towels to dry a bit. If the peppers are wet, they'll make the bread soggy. No one likes soggy bread.

Peel apart the prosciutto slices (they come packed with plastic sheets between the slices); I did about a slice and a half per slice of bread. If your cheese slices are much bigger than the pieces of bread (mine were), cut them in half; I did one half slice of each type of cheese per piece of bread.

Now it's time to assemble! First, prosciutto.

Then, a sprinkle of parsley.

Then roasted peppers, topped with some salt (lightly with the salt, the prosciutto and the cheese are both salty) and as much pepper as you feel like.

Then, CHEESE!

Finally, the whole thing goes into the oven (425º, remember?) for about 15 minutes; but keep an eye on it! In fact, it's probably best to set the timer for 10 minutes and check it. We like our cheese really melted and starting to toast - but some folks like their cheese not-so-cooked.

Yay! Dinner's done! And hardly any dishes!

Variations:

Caprese, layering sliced tomatoes and basil over the prosciutto, with fresh mozzarella on top.
Antipasto, layering salami or soppressata on the bread, topped by roasted peppers and chopped olives, and basil, with provolone. You can get all the fancy meats at pretty much any decent grocery store deli these days.
Sausage & Peppers, layering sliced (cooked) Italian sausage on the bread, followed by roasted peppers, parsley, and any cheese you like.
Pesto & Goat Cheese, layering prosciutto with a dollop of pesto (jarred is awesome!), followed by crumbles of goat cheese and few pine nuts.

Printable version coming soon to Tasty Kitchen!

Smoothie Time!

2015-01-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

In the interest of getting healthier, adding more fruits and veggies to our diets, and still getting out the door on time each morning, we've started having smoothies.

Of course, Red Beard won't touch my smoothie. Too girlie. Not tropical enough. He likes mango and pineapple, mandarins, and bananas. I think we've established that I will never eat a banana. Obviously, we don't drink the same smoothies every morning.

First off, a note about sugar:

According to the American Heart Association, we should all be aiming for a maximum amount of ADDED sugars in our diet daily of 150 calories for men (37.5 grams or 9 teaspoons) and 100 calories for women (25 grams or 6 teaspoons). Note I said ADDED sugars, not the naturally occurring sugars, such as fructose (in fruit) and lactose (in milk).

There are quite a few Designer Diets in the world today that talk about the sugar content of certain fruits and how you are going to die, fat and insulin dependent, if you eat them. Who knew that too many mangoes, bananas, grapes, and kiwis were going to kill us all?!? Insert sarcasm here.

I, for one, don't worry too much about sugar in my diet that comes from eating a piece of fruit. Common sense says that eating a mandarin vs. eating a bag of skittles is a GOOD CHOICE. Mango might be a high-sugar fruit, but is it really as bad or worse for you than diving into a vat of gelato? I think not.

Anyway, back to smoothies!

I consider a smoothie the perfect way to get several servings of fruits/veg into my diet each day, where I never actually have to eat a piece of fruit. It all gets ground up and frothy and I can drink it fast and then I'm done! I'm all about hiding the nutritional stuff where I don't have to taste it; I've never liked most fruits and probably never will.

What I was going for was a mix of protein and fiber, calcium, and a decent mix of fruits and vegetables to start the day off healthy. Basically, something nutrient dense. This tops out just under 400 calories and I'm not usually hungry again until 1PM. It also has 60% of the daily allowance for vitamins A and C, and 60% of my calcium, plus almost 25% of my daily protein. In one meal! Nutritional information courtesy of My Fitness Pal's recipe builder; if you haven't tried it, you may want to. You can even scan bar codes of items you eat all the time and it uploads the information for you.

To begin, I use a chocolate protein shake mix from Arbonne. I love it and I found it entirely by accident - a friend happened to be selling Arbonne products (amazing make-up primer, by the way) and I was in the market for a protein powder that wasn't chalky and weird AND didn't give me a wonky belly. And since we all need more fiber in our diets, I didn't argue when she talked me into the fiber boost as well. Plus, the chocolate helps cover up the taste of the spinach and apple...

But really, use what works for you. Heck, use what you already have! I'm not affiliated with Arbonne so whatever. All I can say is if you have found in the past that you are sensitive to protein powders, this one is very gentle and vegan and gluten free (I'm not vegan or gluten free, but I know plenty of people who are).

Also in the mix, plain almond milk (as much as I like real milk, sometimes it doesn't like me back), baby spinach, green apple, and avocado. I've learned, thanks to my addiction to Vietnamese cuisine, that avocados are AWESOME in smoothies; way better than a stupid banana. Plus, fat is yummy.

Finally, berries. I use frozen for a number of reasons. First, it's cheaper. WAY cheaper. And they last forever in the freezer. Plus, most smoothies contain ice - I don't like ice mixed in, I think it's weird. Using frozen fruit give the whole smoothie a milkshake-like consistency. Milkshakes are awesome.

I've yet to find a berry mix that doesn't include strawberries (I don't like them) so I buy blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries and just make my own mix.

I add ingredients to the blender in a very specific order, otherwise the protein powder and the fiber boost don't get blended in all the way and form clumps. Clumps are gross.

In order, add to your blender:

1 cup Almond Milk (plain, unsweetened/unflavored)
3/4 scoop Arbonne Chocolate Protein Shake Mix
1 scoop Arbonne Daily Fiber Boost
1 teaspoon ground Cinnamon
1/2 cup Baby Spinach (packed)
1/2 Small Granny Smith Apple (cored but NOT peeled, peel is good for you)
1/2 Small Avocado (peeled of course, with the pit pulled out)
1/4 cup Frozen Red Raspberries
1/4 cup Frozen Blackberries
1/2 cup Frozen Blueberries
1/2 cup warm/hot water (just in case, you'll see below)
1 teaspoon Honey (OPTIONAL; since the almond milk is unsweetened, some folks prefer a sweeter smoothie. Another option would be to get vanilla almond milk and skip the honey)

Then, set your blender on it's highest setting (on mine, that's 8) and get to whipping. You will need to pulse initially, while everything is getting broken up, but once it seems to be going well just turn it on and let it go. I always make sure to leave the blender on an extra 30 seconds or so after I think it's well mixed, because I hate chunks.

In the event, during blending, that the mix seems too thick and seems "stuck", drizzle in the warm water. The water loosens the mixture a bit. You could probably avoid this step if you thawed the fruit a little first; but that would take time and in the mornings, time is a precious thing.

What you end up with is a thick purple concoction. It's cold, not too sweet, a little chocolatey, very filling, super smooth, and definitely energizing (at least, I notice I have much higher energy levels on Smoothie Mornings).

Here's to a healthy 2015!

Looking Back (To Move Forward)

2013-06-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

In cleaning up some social media clutter, and preparing to re-enter the blogosphere with a bit of a re-boot to my beloved 3rd Generation Food Pusher, I came across a blog I wrote but never published. It dates back to the holiday season of 2009, about ten months before I met Red Beard. I was just starting to like the idea of blogging, and was going to post some practice pieces to my Facebook page, to get some feedback.

Daffy-dills & Flamingos; 2 of my favorite things ever.

I knew I was coming out of some dark times but I didn't realize just how far I'd come until I re-read it. My ankle still gets angry by the way, I thought it had only been 3 years, not 4, since I had injured it:

As I look around at the things of all sizes that I'm thankful for this holiday season, I can't help but notice the glaring difference between where I'm at now versus where I was at a year ago.

Last year, it was all about dealing with obligations and trying to gather the courage to sever ties with vile and poisonous people. I didn't have a lot of fun. I spent weekends with my parents. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I truly love spending time with them. But I was living the life of a 60 yr old (if you looked at my social life). I was sad and depressed and gaining weight like a sumo wrestler. I worked and went home and that was about the it.

Oh the difference a year makes!

I survived spraining my ankle so bad it took 6 months to fully heal (December).

I survived the pain that came from being dropped like trash by two of my closest friends on the planet (December through February).

I survived that horrible bridal shower, where I was treated like a servant - as in, invisible. Seriously. The girl I threw the party for didn't even introduce me to anyone. And her mom and sister spent the entire day planning her "real" shower (being held the next month) right there in front of me. They even mentioned taking the extra goody bags with them to give to their friends; talk about classy! (February, Happy Valentines!!) No, in case you were wondering, I did not attend the wedding. In fact, I'd been prepared (happily after that damn shower) to be excluded from the guest list all together; imagine my shock when I received an invitation.

I survived moving our offices and all sorts of work-related drama (March & April). And of course I survived more Granny Drama than I'm going to even attempt to list here.

But as the year moved on into spring, things started to improve. Some of it was helped along by time. Any sort of break-up, even one with a friend, takes time to get over. A few months go by and you suddenly realize that you aren't sad anymore. Rather, you're relieved that you aren't being dragged down by icky people. You've learned to be comfortable alone again. And you realize that maybe it's time to start coming out of your hobbit hole.

My ass started to shrink, thanks to regular workout sessions, and my social circle started to expand, thanks to Facebook and some awesome women that I still can not BELIEVE that I ever lost touch with. Okay, yeah, and I started dating again. Let's face it - even a bad awful weird first date can be an ego boost when the guy tells you that you're pretty. I had several dates where that happened. One in particular ranks as my worst date EVER (and if you know my history, you know just how horrid it had to be) and still, it did some good.

Life isn't perfect - life is incapable of being perfect. But I have a lot to be thankful for. My family, adopted, blood relations, and everything in between, is kind of awesome. Ok, yes, we have more than our fair share of drama queens and problem children, but as a whole it works. My job, while perhaps not my dream job, is good and steady and solid and the people are very cool. For all that the Granny Situation makes me want to tear out my hair daily, it's also taught me some great lessons regarding patience and keeping my temper in check and not saying things in anger. I'm spending loads of time with people that I can actually trust - there's no strings, people say what they mean and do what they say, it's drama free, with no undercurrents or backstabbing. How many people can say that their mom is one of their best friends? Or that the girls they had breakfast with are folks they've known since 2nd grade? Do you know how rare it is to have a cosmic twin?

Here's hoping that things continue to improve!

And they did! Imagine that!

Here I am, still dealing with Granny but not living with Granny anymore...
Engaged .... soon to be a WIFE if you can believe it...
A cat parent to the most adorable and fluffy giant kitten ever...
Practically an aunt to 16 kiddos, to be an actual official aunt in October (on top of the 3 on my side of the family)...
A Fairy God Mother to a few more ...
And best of all, still hanging out with those same awesome women I mentioned above (plus a few more).

He attacked the camera about 2 seconds after this was snapped.

What's weird is, all of the girls and I have similar stories about friendships from college and throughout our twenties not standing the test of time. And similar experiences getting over friend break-ups. Give me a break-up with a boyfriend any day over parting ways with a girl who you thought you could trust; ouch!

There will be recipes in the days to come; and maybe a few rants about the crap involved with planning a wedding. It's time to get back to what I love - and I love the food! I'm also finding that I rather adore home-improvement/craft projects and gardening; who knows, maybe this food pusher will be branching out in the coming months...

Talk to you all soon!

Anything-But-Rotten Tomatoes

2012-06-20T13:19:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh summer.

Summer food is filled with fruit and fresh vegetables and herbs you grew yourself (unless your basil was suicidal, like mine was). It's fresher and brighter and prettier. And you can make your teeny stuffy hot house less hot and stuffy by sweet-talking Red Beard into cooking everything on the barbecue.

And there's tomatoes.

Lots and lots of tomatoes.

I love tomatoes. Really love them. In fact, I tend to over-estimate just how many tomatoes two people can eat before they'll go icky and buy way too many at a time. Which leads to marinara. Which is guilt-free because pasta night is wonderful.

New ways to use up almost-but-not-quite-wonky tomatoes is what led to the creation of tomato pie. You know the kind of tomatoes I mean, not quite nice enough to eat plain and fresh, just a little soft around the edges, but not bad enough to throw away. And not quite soft enough to go to the trouble of making another vat of marinara sauce. Let's face it, good tomato sauce takes time and energy and isn't helpful at all in terms of keeping things less hot and stuffy.

Tomato pie is awesome. It has bacon in it. As all things should!

It's also hot and cheesy and basily.

The ingredient list is fairly simple, and includes a lot of things that you probably already have hanging around, if you cook on a regular basis, and this assembly goes quickly. Especially if you cheat like I did and buy a pre-made crust. Yes, of course I know how to make pie dough from scratch, but why would I when Pillsbury (or in this case, Raley's fine foods) does such a great job? If you are feeling all cool and Martha Stewart-y and productive, by all means, make your own. I won't hold it against you.

1 pie crust (or, if you've got a fancy schmancy super deep pie dish like mine, use 2; overlap them about a third of the way and roll them both out together)
1 medium-to-small potato
1/2 small-ish red onion
1 celery stalk
3 big fat garlic cloves
1/2 bell pepper
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs (this is important, no regular Italian bread crumbs, too heavy)
1 cup grated jack or mozzarella cheese, divided
1 cup grated parmesan cheese, divided
2 strips of thick-cut bacon (or 3 regular ones)
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 egg
1 cup of fresh basil, chopped
1 cup of fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
butter
salt
pepper
nutmeg (hopefully, you've got the lovely whole nuts and you grate them yourself on a microplane, right??)
1 lemon

... and of course, tomatoes. I used some heirlooms and a few camparis that were hanging around, but really, use whatever you like to eat fresh. There's no real amount to give you, because it will depend on how many you can cram on the top of your pie. I have a very large pie dish.

Blind-bake your pie crust according to package (or recipe) instructions. I do not bother with beans or rice or pie-weights. I prick the crust all over with a fork and (mostly) it always comes out fine.

Bake until lightly golden, and cooked through (no shiny raw spots) but not super dark - the edges will darken up more when you bake the finished pie. The bottom will cook a little more as well.

Peel and slice your potato, and boil until fork-tender in nicely salted water. Pretend you're making mashed potatoes for a very small and not-very-hungry leprechaun.

While the potato is bubbling away, mince the garlic ...

Finely dice the onion ...

Give the celery a chop ...

Dice the bell pepper ...

And dice the bacon ...

In a skillet over medium heat, cook the bacon down until the fat is all rendered out and the bacon bits are getting crispy. Then, add your beautifully chopped veggies and saute until the celery is soft. If your pan gets too dry, add a little bit of butter.

Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

By now, your potato should be more than cooked ... hopefully you've been keeping an eye on it this entire time, and practicing your multi-tasking! Drain your potato, and add it to a nice big mixing bowl. Season well with salt and a whole lotta pepper.

Like any potato-based product, we'll need butter. Add about a tablespoon.

Mash everything together with a fork and add the panko bread crumbs.

Then the egg.

Add half of of the grated jack or mozzarella cheese (really, any white cheese will do). I got excited because of the cheese and didn't take a picture - just use your imaginations. Add half of the parmesan. Mix well.

Now mix in your lovely bacon-vegetable mixture and half of the chopped herbs (as in, half a cup of the basil and half a cup of the parsley).

Add in the zest of the lemon and about 8 or 10 grates of fresh nutmeg. If you are using the pre-grated nutmeg, only put in a pinch. Pre-grated nutmeg is a lot stronger than the fresh grated and it can get overwhelming fast. It isn't nutmeg pie.

Taste and adjust the seasonings. Unless you're weird about the raw egg in there. I'm not weird about raw eggs.

Spread a fairly thick layer in the bottom of your pie shell. Don't be afraid to squish it all down.

Most likely, you'll have some filling leftover. I think it depends a lot on the size of your potato, not to mention the size and depth of your pie dish. Leftovers are fine. Leftovers mean you can do this:

Hollow out a few baby tomatoes, stuff with any leftover stuffing, sprinkle with cheese and bake (uncovered at 400ºF) until gooey. Perfection!

If you're planning on making this a day ahead of serving, stop now.

The crust and potato filling will hold fine in the fridge, as long as it's well wrapped. Once you add the tomatoes, however, you've got about a 2 hour window before you need to get it in the oven.

Speaking of the tomatoes ....

If you really want, you can do slices and arrange the on the top. Despite my OCD, I prefer random chunks for this. Don't be shy, use a lot. You want a full, crammed, no-sign-of-filling-underneath, mix of colors layer. Don't worry about the juice and seeds - the breadcrumbs soak up all that - I promise, this doesn't turn into a soggy mess.

Season the tomato layer with salt and more (and more and more) pepper. Sprinkle the top with the remaining herbs (basil and parsley) and cheeses.

Bake at 375Fº for about 35 to 40 minutes, until the cheese is melty and starting to brown, the tomatoes are all soft and roasty, and your crust is golden brown.

Let it rest of 10 minutes before you cut it. I'm always expecting the bottom to be a little soggy, or the slices to come out messy, and each time I'm amazed at how cleanly this serves, despite all of the juicy tomato lovelyness.

We ate ours with roast beef for Father's Day dinner. But it's also wonderful for brunch. Or along side BBQ ribs and coleslaw. Or as a snack the next day. Or as a 4th of July potluck item. Or because it's a day that ends in "y".

As much as I think the bacon is one of the best parts of this, you could easily go vegetarian with this, just use butter and olive oil to saute with. Sorry, though, no vegan options - there is no way to omit the cheese without killing it.

Printable version hanging out over @ Tasty Kitchen! (CLICK ME! CLICK ME!)

How Times Flies!

2012-06-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. After 11 long weeks, I'm back.

Did you miss me?

Admit it, you missed me. A least just a little bit.

I don't really have an excuse. I've been cooking - I've been cooking a LOT. I've been taking pictures. I've been really really busy doing all sorts of food pusher-type activities. So busy, that there just wasn't any time to translate food and pictures to a blog.

Spring activities included my OCD going into overdrive ...

New shelving in the laundry room means I almost have enough pantry space.

... making sure the Adorable Wonder Kitten had ample play time ..

Blog? Who needs to blog when this is snuggling with you?

... switching out old itchy ancient flannel couch for new lovely leather sofa (I love hand-me-downs) ...

Puppy tested & Food Pusher approved.

... pink flamingo hunts ...

He was very proud of his stalking abilities.

... making friends with the new toad in our garden ...

We've decided to name him Tobias.

... a few batches of cupcakes ...

Chocolate Cherry with Marshmallow Frosting. Yes, the cherries are chocolate-dipped.

... some mini fruit tarts ...

Orange Vanilla Cream & Mixed Berries.

... a birthday cake for 2 of my favorite nephews ...

Sponge-Bob rocks among 3 & 7 year olds!

... spending lots of time in my garden ...

... more cupcakes ...


Mini Vanilla Cupcakes, with teeny tiny peacock feathers made from spun-sugar.

... and some brownies ...

Raspberry Dark Chocolate Brownies, with whipped cream & sugared fresh raspberries.

... lemony cheesecake bars ...

Amazon is a phenomenal source for specialty candies.

... and about 10 pounds of chocolate dipped strawberries ...

I love party food.

... not to mention all of the gardening, family events, Granny episodes, and wedding planning. Coming up, there's barbecues, engagements parties, camping trips, family dinners, birthday parties, and potlucks - plenty of food blogging opportunities!

Hope you've all had an eleven weeks even half as fantastical as mine!

Coming up tomorrow, Heirloom Tomato Pie.

Ocean Spray & Sand Dunes

2012-04-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

I had a very Martha-Stewart-meets-that-guy-from-Trading-Spaces type of a weekend.

Red Beard and I rent a very sweet and cute and lovely 1930's house from a very nice couple who are the most laid-back landlords I've ever had in my life. Our only "rules" were to not kill the lawn (and since the owners pay for the lawn service, that isn't a hard rule to follow). Pets? Sure! Painting? Sure! Hanging shelves? Sure! As a bonus (depending on the day), the house is across the street from my little old granny, making keeping an eye on her a lot easier than if we lived across town. Especially given Granny's propensity for 10PM phone calls, needing us to come over RIGHT THIS SECOND because she's messed up the cable box again.

Still old but much improved.

Our house has a lot of original details, such as the custom cabinets and tile in the kitchen, the super cute flippy handles on the cupboards, the little phone cubby in the hallway; we've also got a wood-burning stove (which kept our heating oil bill down to almost nothing this winter), two very nice-sized bedrooms, ample closet space, and a laundry room that's actually bigger than the kitchen. It's quite lovely and warm and charming and perfect for the two of us, plus a very spoiled kitten.

Okay, so there are some drawbacks. For example, as cute as my kitchen is, there is almost no counter space. Zero. Zip. Nada. And half of the space we have is often dedicated to drip-drying dishes (because no one had dishwashers in 1939). And the upper cabinets come down over the counters much lower than is standard in the 21st century - a wine bottle (let alone a coffee maker or a Kitchen-Aid mixer) doesn't fit underneath them. Which translates to normal counter items needing to be stored and used not on my counter.

But by far, the biggest issue we have had for the past 10 months, is the bathroom.

I was worried when we first moved in about the logistics of sharing a bathroom on a daily basis with a boy. I've never had to do that before, except on a short-term basis (you know, sleepovers, out-of-town trips, stuff like that). Unless we go WAAAAAAY back to when I still lived at home, there hasn't been a lot of boy-bathroom-sharing. And even back then, in our teeny tiny condo, we had a second half bath where my mom and I set up the girlie command station.

Turns out, sharing was and is super easy. It helps that Red Beard goes to work at least an hour (if not more) before I do. But even when we're both getting ready at the same time, it still goes fairly smoothly.

The problem is not sharing.

The problem is (or rather, as of last Sunday, WAS) the walls. And the cabinet. And the original tile in the oh-so-asthetically-pleasing combination of shiny dark red and dull pinky-peach. Our bathroom was gross. Despite regular scrubbings, and almost daily quickie wipe downs with a Clorox wipey, and pictures, a cute shower curtain, and fluffy towels, our bathroom was just a nightmare. For some reason unknown to normal people, the walls had been painted a dark teal ... then textured over (the texture behaves a bit like old wall paper, except the teal bled through) with weird ridges and swirls, then painted again a very awful and depressing band-aid color. You needed a Xanax every time you showered.


Rusted Hardware. Weird color. And if you look close, you can see where they decided to paint on the wall instead of cutting in around it.

The toilet is set so close to the wall that you have to lean a little when you sit down. This is great if you're drunk. This is not so great on a normal day; it leads to a permanently bruised elbow. It's also a little "interesting" in the event that you are babysitting for three boys ages almost-3, four, and almost-7. Little boys whom I love and adore, but who don't aim very well. I use Clorox wipies on the wall a lot too when Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 come over.

Notice that the toilet is crooked on top of everything else.

We really couldn't do much about the toilet. If you use a flashlight, you can see the layers of paint behind it - meaning no one has tried removing the toilet in years. Red Beard was having nightmares about the floor getting torn up if we tried to take the toilet out ... so instead, I got to practice my yoga when it was time to paint around/behind it.

Did I mention dark & dingy? And permanently dirty looking?

Red Beard spent over two hours with a power sander, trying to mellow out the texture on the walls. Then he made BFFs with his shop vac and a wet rag, cleaning up from the sanding party. All of this, after a very long and full work day. He also made sure to take care of the things I would have totally just blown off, like taking down the switchboard cover and pulling the towel racks off the wall (I would have just painted around them). Sometimes, he can be a saint. Naturally, he also had to paint the crown and the ceiling because I'm short and have a slight fear of ladders. I don't find ladders quite as terrifying as clowns and ferris wheels, but it's a close third.

After the love of my life did all sorts of prepping for me, we went paint shopping (and had Thai food and got cut off horribly in the Home Depot parking lot). I was aiming for a very nice not-too-dark aqua color. Nothing crazy, just something that had enough gray in it to be a neutral. Plus the shower curtain we already had not only had red and weird peach (to match the tile) but also two different shades of a very nice aqua in it. I was trying to make the accessories we already owned work with the new paint.

Yeah, it didn't quite work out that way.

The paint we purchased, while matching the existing curtain perfectly in a small chip, did NOT match once two coats had been worked into the wall. I say "worked" because the remaining wall texture (post-sanding) did not want to be painted; I had to force the paint into the remaining ridges with a paint brush, then roller, then touch up with the brush ... and roller again. And touch up again Sunday morning.

Needless to say, I was not going to re-purchase paint and re-paint the walls and re-exert all of that effort. Instead, I bought a new shower curtain. Entirely worth the $14.99. My OCD has been thanking me every time I walk by the bathroom.

Ahhhhhhh, relief from the depression!

We chose two lovely colors, both from Glidden (in a semi-gloss paint and primer combo): one gallon of Sea Spray (GLB19) for the wallS, and a quart of Summer Sandcastle (GLC06) for the trim, the ceiling, the door, and the cabinet.

So soothing.

I also had a can of super duper shiny metallic silver spray paint, which landed on the base of the light fixture, the toilet paper holder, and all of the hardware on the cabinet.

No more rust! And notice that I did go to the trouble to cut in properly around the wall.

The artwork turned out awesome (if I do say so myself) and budget-friendly. I downloaded and printed pictures of vintage travel posters and slipped them into $2 frames. Voila! Now I just have to spray all the frames a chocolate brown, to match the dots in the shower curtain; the black is too harsh and is making my eye twitch a little.

I no longer live in fear of contracting the ebola virus when I touch the walls.

I have to say, I love it! Despite all of the work, and the pain, and the five stores I had to go to, in order to find a curtain that matched the paint, it was completely and utterly worth it.

By the pain, I mean I woke up at 3am Sunday morning because my arm was throbbing so much. See, I'm short, and all of the painting and rollering over my head did quite a number on my arm, and of course my back and shoulders. And my knees are visibly bruised from the contortions necessary to get that super sharp line at the floor and paint neatly around the wonky toilet.

Wonder Kitten likes to curl up in this sink while I'm doing my hair every morning.

Now if I could just figure out a way to add counter space in the kitchen .... does anyone have a magic wand I can borrow?

Vive la France!

2012-03-28T17:19:00.002-07:00

Or rather, vive la French Dip!

Red Beard has a soft spot for french dip sandwiches. Beef, lamb, pork ... onions or no onions ... cheese or no cheese .... fancy or trashy. He loves them. And since they are a fairly easy dinner option (with a few side dishes), I've decided I love them too!

Best part: the entire prep (when I'm not taking pictures at least) takes less than an hour with a minimal amount of dishes to do. And it involves melty cheese.

I really love anything that involves melty cheese. I also adore any occasion where I can disguise leftovers. In this case, I was using up roast beef from a couple nights prior. Nice roast beef, with lots of garlic. Sure, I could have sent it with Red Beard to work in a cold sandwich, but this is so much tastier.

You'll need a few things to pull this off, but a lot of it is stuff you probably already have on-hand. Aside from the beef and rolls, I can pretty much guarantee that I have some sort of cheese, and more condiments than my fridge door can comfortably hold (like mayo and dijon and worcestershire and sriracha ... and butter). Onions and peppers and garlic are staples in my kitchen. And you know, you just KNOW I've got wine.

8 ounces roast beef (either leftover roast, sliced super thin, like me OR sliced from the deli counter)
1 whole bell pepper (any color); 3/4 nicely julienned and the rest rough chopped
1 whole red onioin; 3/4 nicely julienned and the rest chunked up
1 clove of garlic, well squished
2 sandwich rolls (any type you like, but french or dutch crust are the nicest)
8 ounces of cheese, sliced thin (any type you like, but I've found colby, swiss, provolone, and havarti work the best)
1 tablespoon creamy horseradish
1 tablespoon dijon mustard
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
Kosher salt
Pepper
1 tablespoon of butter plus butter for the bread
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon of olive oil
Fresh OR dried rosemary
1 cup red wine
1 small can low sodium beef broth
Worcestershire sauce
Sriracha sauce OR Tobasco

Mix together the mayo, dijon mustard, and horseradish and set aside. This is your sandwich spread.

First things first; let's talk au jus. That wonderful, yummy, sploshy broth to dip the sandwich in. Yes, of course, you could buy the Knorr packet and just mix with water. But really? All those preservatives? I tried it once, thought it tasted like the little cubes of bouillon powder (so, ick), and made up my own version. Surprise! I'm making things up again!

In a small saucepan, over medium heat, add the teaspoon of olive oil. When the oil is hot, add the rough-chopped onion and pepper bits, the squished garlic, and either 1 sprig of fresh rosemary OR 1/2 teaspoon of dried rosemary. I was out of fresh. I was also being cranky and refused to drive the 3.768 minutes to the grocery store. Dried worked fine.

Then toss in some red wine (about a cup) and a small can of low sodium (always always low sodium!!) beef broth. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Add a couple splashes of Worcestershire sauce and as much sriracha as you can handle. I think I added only a small squirt, less than 1/2 a teaspoon. I wasn't going for mouth-burning-scary-hot, just nice and warm.

With regards to the low-sodium broth. I like to add salt to foods; I like to be in control of the salt in my foods. It's the same reason I prefer unsalted butter. I have control issues. Non-fat broth isn't something I look for. If I happen to find a broth (chicken or beef) that is both low sodium and low fat - yay! But taking the fat off of broth is easy - just set it in the fridge for awhile - that fat rises to the top and will solidify in the cold. You can peel it off in a layer. Easy peasy. But there really isn't any way to pull the salt out.

Sorry for the steam. Hey, at least you know I'm actually cooking here!

Let it bubble while you prep everything else. The longer it simmers, the yummier it will be.

Now, in a skillet or frying pan, or another pot if you really want to be a rebel, heat the remaining olive oil and butter together over medium heat. When the butter is melted, add your onions and peppers (the pretty julienned ones) and saute until the peppers are still a little crispy, but the onions are starting to caramelize. Season with a little salt and a lot of pepper. Bland is boring.

Almost done!

While the onions and peppers are cooking, split your sandwich rolls, and butter them generously (because butter is awesome) and lay them out on a sheet pan.

Pop them under the broiler until they look like this:

Toasty bread is always nicer than regular bread. ALWAYS. Just keep an eye on them because I can't even tell you how many times I've burned bread under the broiler. Nicely browned is only 5.68 seconds away from charcoal. Slather the sandwich spread you made over everything.

Now, add your beef to your au jus. It isn't going to be in there long, just long enough to get really hot and soak up a little of those yummy flavors.

When everything is ready - the onions and peppers are dreamy, the beef is hot, and the bread is toasty - start assembling. Begin with toasty bread (all smeared with mustardy horseradish), and layer on your meat and peppers/onions. Just make sure that whatever dish you're using is oven-safe.

Then add as much cheese as you can handle without your system going into shock.

Now comes the best part. Before you add the top piece of bread, pop the sandwiches under the broiler one last time until the cheese is gooey. Top the sandwiches off, add a cup of the au jus, and if you really want to make your family happy add a little of this:

We eat salad with everything. It makes us less guilty about all of the cheese.

And a handful of these:

Sweet Potato Fries, available in the freezer section of Trader Joe's. They are extra special when seasoned with a little cinnamon & chili powder.

Aside from being a gastrointestinal hootenanny, this meal is also not as guilt-laden as you may think at first glance. Sure, there's cheese and butter and bread. But if you can manage to limit yourself to 1/2 a sandwich (which I did do, and it was quite difficult), and eat plenty of salad, it's really not all bad. There's a ton of veggies. And the fries aren't fried and aren't regular potatoes. Sweet potatoes are always being touted as a healthy alternative. So I say eat the fries, enjoy the cheese, and fill up on salad. And try to avoid the Haagen-Daz in the freezer, or all of those sweet potato brownie points will fly right out of the window.

Recipe now available @ Tasty Kitchen ... Click me!!

Falling Off of the Wagon

2012-03-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

Did you hear the thud? I think my butt's bruised.

Last night, I was not low-carb. Sometimes I slip. So sue me.

Saturday, I watched The Pioneer Woman (which I DVR, because it's on really early). I like her; the blog, the cookbook(s), and now the show. Granted I argue with her sometimes but I argue at times with ALL celebrity chefs except maybe Alton Brown and Bobby Flay and Jamie Oliver (them I tend to agree with a lot). She made a seafood pasta dish and creme brulee and spinachy bacon salad - all things I'm fond of. I was fine at this point. Then, on Monday or Tuesday, I stumbled across her recipe for Pasta with Pancetta and Leeks. Which of course caused me to promptly have cravings for BJ's chardonnay shrimp pasta. Why wouldn't it?

Every so often, when I least expect it, I start dreaming about the super thin-crust appetizer pizzas (sausage or margherita) or the really tasty pasta that BJ's did, that mean mommy and I would order to split whenever we went. Of course, I have no idea if BJ's still even offers it, but that doesn't stop the cravings.

The chardonnay shrimp pasta was very simple. It had sauteed medium-sized shrimp, diced tomatoes (added at the very end so they weren't cooked to death), bits of apple-y bacon, and a lovely white wine butter sauce. I don't remember if they used farfalle or rotini, but I do know it came with just enough parmesan on top and some really nice garlic toast.

I just happened to have a bag of shrimp hanging out in my freezer, not to mention plenty of tomatoes and wine (ahem) and parmesan, at least three pounds of bacon in three different flavors, and approximately 456 different types of pasta all available in my kitchen, no grocery store stop necessary. I could do this.

But then, visions of leeks started dancing in my head. I had leeks too. I had four very pretty leeks, already cleaned and begging to be added to something.

Then the lemons starting whining that they felt left out.

And I stumbled across some basil from last week that was miraculously not grey and moldy.

THEN Red Beard (who knows the way to this girl's heart) was nice enough to run to the store for orange juice because we were out and it was cocktail time. He also brought home baby scallops.

Hmmmm. I could work with this.

Sure, I haven't ever made anything before with seafood and leeks and bacon all in one pasta dish. So what? In the name of science and research and evolution, I was going to give it a go. Thankfully, for once the experiment was a smashing success and we ended up with this:

Fork. Please. Now.

Not all of my experiments are successful. Believe me, some of my experiments are such phenomenal failures that I don't even bother trying to figure out what went wrong - it's more about forgetting it ever happened and moving on. Lemon ricotta fettuccine? What's that? Never heard of it!

The ingredient list is ridiculously simple, despite being a combination of three different recipes. Just one thing to keep in mind - do your prep before you start cooking!! It's called mise en place, translating to "putting in place". Yes, I'm using fancy French terms again. When it's time for the wine to reduce, you'll have some time to chill, but really, just have everything ready.

I didn't. I'm fast, and even I couldn't quite keep up with this one. I had to call in Red Beard for assistance. How thankful was I that he's well-versed in things like zesting and grating?

Have. Everything. Laid. Out.

You'll thank me later. This pasta is worth the effort.

1/4 red onion, julienned
2 leeks, cleaned, dark green tops lopped off, thin sliced
3 large cloves of garlic, super thinly sliced
2 slices of thick cut bacon, (medium) diced
3 medium sized tomatoes (or 5 roma 'maters), seeded and diced
1 lemon, zested and 1/2 of it juiced
2 cups of white wine
2 cups of heavy cream (oh come on, just this once... admit it - I don't make you pull out the cream too often)
Salt (Kosher or Sea Salt, as always, nothing iodized)
Lottsa pepper
1 pound of thin spaghetti (or a pound of whatever pasta or noodles you feel like)
Butter (about 2 tablespoons)
Olive oil (just enough to keep the butter from burning)
1/2 cup of Italian Parsley, well chopped
1/2 cup of Basil, well chopped
About a cup of finely grated parmesan cheese (preferably grated yourself, using a micro-plane, which produces the most fluffy clouds of cheese you've ever seen)

And of course, the pièce(s) de résistance ...

1/2 pound of medium shrimp, peeled & de-veined.

And the Roomie's contribution ...

1/4 pound of baby wild scallops. I don't know why this picture turned out way yellow.

Start by cooking your seafood. Add about 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil to your largest skillet. I was using my not-new-but-hardly-used shiny red Le Creuset cast iron skillet (it was in storage when I was between kitchens; and for awhile I was scared of cast iron). I am in love with my skillet and it hasn't been put away for a week - it gets cleaned, re-seasoned, and set back on the stove.

Make sure your pan is nice and hot - the seafood isn't very big and you want to get some color without overcooking them.

First the shrimp.

Then the scallops.

When the shrimp and scallops are done, set them aside. Add the bacon to your pan.

All those brown bits = massive flavor.

When your bacon is fairly dark and starting to get crispy, start adding your veg.

First your onions. Let them start to caramelize.

Then your leeks. Let them get all wilted and soft and happy while they swim in bacon grease.

Then your garlic.

In the meantime, preheat your oven to 400ºF and have your pasta water boiling on another burner.

Side Note on Pasta:
When it comes to cooking pasta, I DO salt my water but I DO NOT add any oil. You want your sauce to coat the pasta, and adhere to all the starch (you know, the stuff that makes pasta sticky). Oil will form a barrier. Why would you want a barrier between your noodle and your yummy sauce?

Now at times you'll see recipes where olive oil is used after the noodles are drained - that's different; that's when the oil IS the sauce.

Cook to al dente. It won't get more than a re-heat in the pasta sauce.

I was taught that the water for boiling any type of pasta should be as salty as sea water, so chuck in a lot. I usually just pour it in straight from the box. In the event your noodles get done before your sauce is ready, just drain them and set aside. They can take it.

Season your oniony bacon and leeks with a whole lotta pepper, and not too much salt. Bacon is salty, and we'll be adding parmesan later (also salty). PLUS you salted your pasta water. So for now, salt sparingly.

Now add the wine (no picture, sorry, I was too busy inhaling deeply and wishing I had a magic wand to speed things along). Stir and scrape to get the brown bits up. Then, be patient. Let it reduce by about half. It'll get dark and speckled and look funny. That's okay, it'll taste (and smell) really really good.

Now add about 1.5 cups of your cream. Stir. Breathe. Sigh in delight.

Let the cream reduce a little - just a few minutes at a simmer. Just until it starts to thicken up a little. Now add that last tablespoon of butter. Stir, let the butter melt, and turn off the heat. Now we're going to start chucking in everything that's left. If your skillet isn't big enough OR if your skillet isn't oven-proof, now is the time to transfer everything to an oven-proof dish big enough to handle it. Just use a little pan spray please.

The pasta noodles.

The tomatoes.

About 2/3 of the parmesan cheese. It's so fluffy!!

The herbs, the seafood, the lemon zest. I need to find the macro setting on my camera.

Mix everything really well. Taste to adjust your seasonings. Avoid eating many many bites. If it "feels" too dry, add that last 1/2 cup of cream. As the cheese melts, the pasta could get a little dry and sticky. Drizzle the lemon juice over the top of the entire thing. Sprinkle the rest of the cheese over the top. Now pop the entire skillet, uncovered, into your nice hot oven. It doesn't need to stay in very long if you're using the skillet, because it really hasn't had a chance to cool down much. Really, this is just to make sure that everything is piping hot and the cheese is gooey. I think I left it in about 10 minutes.

Oooooh melty. Seafoody. Lemony. Basily. Leeky. Alllll goooood.

Yes, it's got a few more calories than any of us should eat on a regular basis. But as a kick-off to the beginning of spring, and a once-in-awhile treat, it's okay. Really, I'm giving you permission. Enjoy it, savor it, love every bite; tomorrow, you can have a salad and move on. No guilt please! This pasta deserves to be enjoyed with no guilt.

Seriously. FORK.

This should have fed four people. Especially with a nice fresh salad and maybe a little garlic bread (because if you're going to fall off of the wagon, you may as well be trampled by the horses as well). And a grilled vegetable or two (asparagus and mushies perhaps?).

It didn't feed four.

Red Beard and I killed 90% of it. Just the two of us. In one sitting. Granted, he eats about 4 times as much as I do, so it wasn't like I horked down almost half the pan all by myself. But let's face it, there was definitely some over-eating taking place by both of us. And it smelled so good that we didn't take the time to make any side dishes. We just sort of dove in. It was amazing we managed to get it on plates. The difference is, his metabolism runs at warp speed all the time and he can handle it. Men and women are so not equal.

Admitting I was a piglet is painful and no fun.

But you know what? It was completely and utterly and wonderfully worth it. Yup, it was THAT GOOD.

Recipe now available @ Tasty Kitchen, yay! {click here and fire up your skillets!)

Where's the Beef?

2012-03-19T17:55:00.004-07:00

It's drunk! Who isn't drunk on St. Patrick's Day?

The perfect sequel to a shot of Jameson.

By now, you're all well aware of my aversion of corned beef or any type of pickling when it comes to beef. I love beef. Pickling seems like a ginormous waste.

That being said, Red Beard love love LOVES corned beef and when asked, how could I say "no"? Red Beard wants corned beef, he's going to get corned beef. It's a similar circumstance on his birthday when he wanted banana cream pie. He wants the devil fruit in a pie? I'm going to make on for him. In both scenarios, don't expect ME to eat it.

This is probably one of the easiest recipes ever. No technique or cooking skills required. For those of you who share my views on pickled beef, this comes out a lot mellower than most corned beef does.

Ingredients include:

2 stalks of celery
2 carrots (you don't even need to peel them!)
1/2 of an onion
6 cloves of garlic
3 sprigs of fresh rosemary
1 sprig of fresh thyme
Herbes de Provence (I warned you, this stuff is magical!)
Salt (Kosher or Sea)
Black Pepper
2 bottle of Guiness (actually, buy a 6-pack, then you'll have plenty for drinking)

And of course, one of these:

Pre-Brined. If you want to do your own, check out Alton Brown over @ Food Network.

I found a corned beef brisket that was just over 3 pounds and it easily fed 6 people. You know, as a benchmark. Six people not including me or Mean Mommy (because she hates it too).

Wash and roughly chop the celery, carrots and onion. Arrange them in the bottom of a large baking dish (one that is big enough for the brisket too). You may want to spray your pan first with your handy-dandy pan spray (we love Pam!). On top of the vegetables, place the corned beef brisket fat-side-up. Using a sharp knife, cut a cross-hatch pattern into the top of the fat layer.

No knife skills required.

Chop the garlic and rub it into the top of the meat (try to get some into the cuts on the fat). Tear up the herbs (rosemary and thyme), and sprinkle some on top of the meat and just chuck the rest into the pan. If the corned beef you bought comes with a spice packet, spread that around too. Season the beef well with herbes de Provence, salt and pepper and crack open a Guinness ~~for yourself~~ to pour in with the beef.

Bake, covered, at 350ºF, for 3 hours. Add the second bottle of Guinness and continue to cook for another 3 hours.

Voila! All done!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

This corned beef comes out fork-tender and very flavorful. If you're doing mashers and gravy, strain the bits out of the liquid and heat in a pot with about 1 cup of beef stock and a splash of red wine - taste to adjust the seasonings - and thicken with a corn starch/cold water slurry. That's it! See, super easy!

Two things to keep in mind:

*** The vegetables are used for flavoring, NOT to serve with the meat—they are too mushy and soak up the more bitter flavors from the beer. Pitch them. Trust the French on this (because they do know how to cook), mirepoix has a very specific purpose and sometimes doesn't make it into the final dish.

***The corned beef can be made up to 2 days in advance, if wrapped well and stored in the fridge. Not only does this save you time later (especially if you’re trying to have corned beef for dinner after working all day), but it also gives you a chance to chill the liquid down and pull the fat off (the fat floats to the top and solidifies). The beef was super easy to thinly slice when it was cold; once sliced, place in an oven-safe serving dish with a ladle of the liquid, cover, and bake until hot (approximately 30 minutes) at 300ºF.

Recipe is ready to print over at Tasty Kitchen!

Our Stinky Friend, the Turnip

2012-03-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Also titled "Chapter 2 of Irish Food, updated to be edible" ....

I believe I may have mentioned this before, but I'm going to have to say it again. Very rarely do I actually eat any of the veggies cooked alongside a roast (or in this case, corned beef). I tend to cook my meats with some mirepoix for flavor, and then chuck it later because the veg have cooked to death and are a mushy pile of inedible crap. It may seem wasteful, but the gravy is a-mazing and I don't really mind sacrificing 1/2 an onion, a carrot, a celery stalk, and a couple of garlic gloves to the kitchen gods all in the name of yummy food. The only time I've been happy with the results is when I've cooked the meat most of the way first, drained all the liquid off, THEN added my veggies to a mostly dry pan to roast a bit while the meat finished cooking. I usually end up burning myself and splashing hot fatty meat juices all over the place.

I don't like burning myself.

I also don't enjoy cleaning up greasy bits in my kitchen.

It's just so much easier to get a sheet pan dirty and cook it separately. I don't end up with a blister on my thumb the size of my face, my kitchen says (relatively) clean, and I'm not quaking in fear for the safety of any dogs, cats, or toddlers that may be wandering around.

Oooooh. Turnips. (Not eeeuuuuuuw, turnips!)

Okay, that being said, it's on to the root vegetables we're going to be working with, several of which are going to cause a few scrunchy faces. Yes, turnips are stinky. They can't help it, God made them that way. Rutabagas, being a cross between a turnip and cabbage, can be a little stinky also. But this is kind of like how cheese is super stinky, but the most awesome food ever created by man. Turnips and rutabagas, especially when combined with garlic and carrots and onions and parsnips, are wonderful and delicious and beautiful and yummy. And, even better, easy peasy to prep!

Easy enough that I was able to make dinner in spite of my two helpers. Or course the Wonder Kitten is my little shadow and thinks it his God appointed duty to perform supervision on everything I do, from laundry to cooking to getting ready for work every morning.

Notice the well-chewed hair tie that he's hanging out with. He's a little odd. But at least he's pretty!

My second ~~pain in the ass~~ helper was the Most Spoiled Puppy Ever Created (because wherever my parents go, Buster Pup goes too). His idea of being helpful was heckled by Wonder Kitten and jumping on the couch and drooling water all over my floors. It took four tries to get a picture with even half of his face in it; he kept thinking I had a treat (or maybe the camera was a cookie) and sitting up.

Notice his well-stocked toy basket. He also has his own cookie jar filled with biscuits. He felt a little displaced when we finally got a dog of our own.

All of the ingredients are easily found pretty much anywhere. I went shopping at ~~Albertson's~~ Savemart and had no trouble, which means Winco or Raley's or any other store in the BLC would have what you need (because Savemart isn't known for their variety).

Way. Too. Much.

In terms of quantity, do not go by the picture. Much of this is still wrapped up, raw, in my fridge to use later. While it looked like a reasonable amount when I was washing and peeling, it grew as I was cutting. I used a fraction of the pictured produce and had plenty for 6 people as a side-dish, plus leftovers.

As ever, preheat your oven, this time to 400ºF.

You'll need:

1 large parsnip, or 2 if they are small. Mine weren't small. They look like big white carrots, but taste a little like fennel.
4 carrots. No explanation necessary, you all know what a carrot is because you weren't raised by wolves.
1/2 large rutabaga. I bought a gigantic one. If you find small ones, your probably bought a turnip accidentally. Rutabagas look like giant turnips.
1 large turnip or 2 small ones. These look and small exactly like (smaller) rutabagas!
1/2 red onion
4 cloves of garlic
Italian Parsley
Olive Oil
Butter
Herbes de Provence (I did warn you that these would get used again and again)
Salt and Pepper (Kosher or sea salt please. Iodized salt tastes like poo. Kosher salt is super cheap and usually in a big box on the bottom shelf).

Wash and peel everything. Rutabagas and turnips are hard and nasty to cut through, so watch your fingers - if there isn't a flat-side to rest it on, cut a piece out of one side. Cut your root veg into cute little sticks - fatter on the carrots and parsnips (because they cook faster), skinnier on the others.

Chop the parsley and thinly slice the garlic and onions. Then season well with salt and pepper (and more pepper) and about 1 tsp of the herbes de provence. Toss well to mix and spread into a (mostly) single layer on your sheet pan.

It would also be a good idea to use a little pan spray. No one likes to scrub.

Break up the butter into small pieces and dot it all over the top of your veg. Roast them uncovered for about an hour. After about 30 minutes, give them a good stir (just make sure they get back into a single-ish layer when you're done mixing).

The garlic roasts and gets all mellow and happy. The onions start to caramelize. The rutabagas turn this pale creamy apricot color. The turnips, while still turnips, mellow a little and their flavor helps to balance out the sweetness from the carrots and parsnips. Everything just gets really really nice.

The pale yellow chunks? Rutabagas! No way to mistake them for a turnip now!

If you need to hold them for a bit before serving, transfer to an oven-proof dish, add about another 1/2 tablespoon of butter, just because it tastes good, and cover them well. Then set them in a 250ºF oven while you finish up the rest of dinner.

Of course, I served these on Irish night, with corned beef and braised cabbage, but tonight we're having them with roast beef ... and next week we'll have them with roasted chicken. And the week after that we'll have them with barbecued pork chops. If you don't have a Roomie like I do, these could be served in place of potatoes, OR you could scrub a handful of red potatoes and cut them into wedges and just add them to the mix. Very versatile little dish! And it's already vegetarian; vegan if you omit the butter.

Recipe available, all handy and ready-to-print, with measurements, over at Tasty Kitchen (click here! click here!)

Greetings from the Cabbage Patch

2012-03-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

As promised, this is chapter 1 of the Step-by-Step of Updated St. Paddy's Day Food.

Growing up, we ate cabbage two ways: boiled, where it stunk up the entire house, or fried - starting the pan with a pound of bacon (approximately) and chucking in some chopped green cabbage to fry off in the bacon fat. While in theory this is fantastic (you all know my views on bacon fat), it actually came out a kind of greasy. Also, the cabbage could be damn bitter.

Handled properly, like so many other vegetables on the planet that I thought I hated until I learned how to cook them correctly, cabbage is not bitter. It's actually well-adjusted, and happy, and despite it's bad reputation has no need for therapy.

While I ran screaming from the cabbage stench as a child, as an adult I have a much broader appreciation for both cabbage and it's many relatives. Red is great in salads or slaw, or braised with apples and dill ... napa cabbage is great in salads or soups or any Asian food you can think of ... bok choy is great in soups or roasted ... even kale can be wonderful in a white bean soup. Greens are good, people! No scurvied and toothless folks in my household! Eat the rainbow! And I don't mean Skittles.

You'll need onions and garlic, a little celery, an apple and a bell pepper, some Italian parsley, salt and pepper, and fennel seeds. And of course, you'll need green cabbage (I had 1.5 heads, but again, it's not rocket science, so you don't HAVE to buy an extra 1/2 a head...) and napa cabbage and a bulb of fresh fennel (some stores label this as "anise"). For the braising liquid, we'll be using a mixture of white wine and chicken (or vegetable) stock.

Now warm up your fingers and sharpen your knife. Today, there is no food processor and no "rough chopping", it's time to practice your knife skills and make things pretty. As you're slicing, shredding, and julienning, keep your items relatively separate - you'll be adding them to the pot at different times.

I used a mix of onions, mainly because I like the colors. Slice the onions as thin as you can (if you're using whole onions, cut them in half first, then slice. That nice flat side will insure that you don't lop off a finger accidentally).

The celery, apple, and bell pepper need to be julienned. All that fancy French word means is that you want skinny pretty little sticks. Since the onions form little cute sticks, and the cabbage slices (as they break apart) make long skinny strips, it all goes together.

The garlic needs to be finely sliced. The fennel is a little weirder. Start by cutting off the feathery dark green tops and discarding. Wash well, if it's too dirty go ahead and take off the outer layer (it acts like a cross between an onion and cabbage, it's got all sorts of layers). Then slice thin. Some of the slices will break apart automatically - others won't. The slices that stay whole need to be julienned like all the other stuff.

Both cabbages can be cut in half, cored, and sliced thin - they'll fall into shreds by nature. Do not, DO NOT, use red cabbage for this. Braised red cabbage is a whole other recipe, one involving vinegar so that the cabbage stays a pretty color. If cooked without enough acid, red cabbage bleeds all over everything and turns a weird bluey-grey color. Very ick.

Chop your bacon into a medium dice. Start in a dutch oven (or similar heavy-bottomed pot) over medium-ish heat to render out the fat. When the bacon is giving you all sorts of nice brown bits, add the onions.

Give the onions enough time to start getting nice and caramelized before you add anything else. This will help kill any bitterness later. Caramelized onions are sweet and sassy. Now add the peppers, celery, apple, and garlic. If your pan seems too dry at any point, add about a tablespoon of butter.

Once the celery and peppers are getting soft, add the final tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil. As boiled cabbage is icky, we need to give all those green enough fat to get their saute on before we add any liquid. When the butter is melted, add about a teaspoon of fennel seed, and allllll thaaat cabbage.

Yes, it will seem like a lot.

Yes, it may seem like too much for the pot.

Don't worry about it. It wilts down fast. If you're the nervous sort, add the cabbage in batches, giving each batch a few minutes to wilt before you add more. Napa cabbage is a lot fluffier than the regular green stuff, it wilts down pretty fast.

Keep adding, it can take it.

Give the cabbage about 10 minutes to hang out, mixing it fairly often. Then, deglaze your pan w/ the white wine, add the stock, cover your pot and walk away. Spend 20 minutes sipping a cocktail and figure out how to con your significant other into doing the dishes.

Now, if you are going to be pressed for time, this is a fantastical dish to make the day ahead, which also makes it a wonderous potluck option. In fact, I think it even nicer after it's had time to sit overnight. Just wrap it up really well or stash it (with any liquid! do not drain!) in a covered casserole dish and keep it in the fridge. When you're ready to serve it, pop it into a pre-heated 350ºF oven for about half an hour, or until is super duper scary hot.

Shhhhh, don't tell anyone, but I'll even eat this cold.

Really, this is awesome. People who don't like cabbage will actually like this. It's got around 98713 mg of Vitamin C per serving and at least 1893 serving of veggies. And the bacon! It's not crispy anymore, after spending all that time in the liquid, but it isn't weird and squishy either - it just adds this great texture and of course all that flavor.

Chapters 2 and 3, all about roasted veg and corned beef, on their way!

Variation:

This can be taken down a notch to vegetarian levels, or all the way to vegan. For vegetarian, just take out the bacon. Start your pan with 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of butter, and make sure you use vegetable stock. Easy peasy!! If you want a vegan dish, omit the butter as well and use only olive oil.

Recipe available on Tasty Kitchen!

The Wearin' O' the Green

2012-03-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's the best holiday ever (almost)! As a girl who practically bleeds green, I love St. Paddy's, in part because it includes shamrocks and Irish whiskey.

In our house, we have more than 1 whiskey to choose from.

There is only one problem (outside of drunk drivers) with St. Paddy's. I realize that some people are going to take offense to what I'm about to say. I can't help it. Someone has to be brave enough to say it loud and proud ...

Are you ready?

Are you sure you're ready?

Here goes ....

I hate St. Paddy's Day food traditions.

So sorry; please don't give up on me. Those of you who know just how Irish I am are cringing right now, and I'm risking being haunted by 4 of my great-aunts, but I just had to admit it. Don't get me wrong, the IDEA of cooking the meat, and then adding cabbage and carrots and potatoes, and keeping it all as a one-pot-wonder, is awesome and leads to hardly any clean-up. In theory. In actuality, cabbage isn't very nice if it's boiled. Carrots aren't very nice if they're boiled either. As for potatoes .... we liked mashed (hello butter and cream) a lot better than boiled.

And that's not the only weird Irish food - what the hell is up with mince meat?

But the Irish do redeem themselves with trifle. Trifle isn't weird at all. Trifle is awesome. More trifle, I say!

Lemon Blackberry Trifle. I should have stopped at 2 layers but why? Sometimes overkill is a good thing!

And despite my Irish heritage, I really really don't like corned beef. There is just something about beef being brined and trying to turn it into a damn pickle that I find fundamentally wrong and wasteful. I mean, it's pink! Not pink because it's nice and rare and might just moo at you if you poke it hard enough; it's pink even after four hours of cooking because it's just supposed to be that color. It's weirder than mince meat!

My mom agrees with me on this.

Red Beard, my dad, and pretty much the rest of the planet all think I'm off my rocker. I see that look you're giving me. It's the same look I get when I say I don't like turkey.

Of course, since I'm not a complete monster and I do spoil Red Beard as often as humanly possible, I did cook corned beef and fixin's to celebrate St. Paddy's. I just had to correct the recipes a little along the way. Food is constantly evolving right? Traditions can change as we learn how to make things taste better! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

My menu was a little different than most folks but it also turned out pretty damn tasty. Ok, I still didn't like the beef, but it did taste better than it had in the past. But everyone else was thrilled at the outcome. My mom even liked the parsnips and we've been arguing about those for years. Mean mommy says "ick", I say "yum!", and occasionally there's a swear word or two.

We had corned beef cooked with Guinness and rosemary:

Sorry Aunt Katie; I'll never be a fan.

And roasted root vegetables (turnips, rutabagas, parsnips, and carrots):

Nothing boiled here!

And mashed 'taters, and braised cabbage with bacon:

Ooooh, pork fat.

Let me tell you - by cooking everything as separate and important items, instead of just tossing them together in one pot, dinner was lovely. Totally worth the extra pots and pans; coming from my dishwasher-less self, this is a huge endorsement.

The really cool part of this dinner was that the cabbage and beef could be done ahead of time - both hold really well and re-heat even better. Come to think of it, the cabbage was actually BETTER the next day. Which means when you've got 6 people coming to dinner and you're trying to get the food on the table by 7pm, AND you work all day, all you have to do is mash some potatoes (sorry, they just taste better fresh) and roast some veg on a sheet pan. You'll have plenty of time to sip on 12-year-old Powers and kick back and enjoy yourself.

Ahhhhhhhh...

Step-by-step and recipes coming soon.

Here's wishing you all a safe and happy March 17th. Drink, eat, be merry, and don't drive. If you are (soberly) driving any place Saturday night, watch out for the crazies & the snow they are predicting!

Hashin' Things Out

2012-03-14T11:04:00.002-07:00

Thanks to nine days and nights of birthday fun, my jeans are a little tight this week.

In an attempt to re-set my digestive track, and cease the exponential rate of expansion currently underway on my waistline, I've been taking the stairs at work (which equates to four flights, approximately 8 times per day, up and down). Also, it's back to eating a lot of veggies, reasonable amounts of protein, and a whole hell of a lot less carbs. It's sad, I know. Believe me, I know. I love carbs. I love carbs soaked in bacon and dipped in cheese. But let's face it, a carb-heavy diet when you aren't running marathons is No Bueno. Unless you like buying your clothes from Omar the Tent Maker.

The hardest part for me, with regards to restricting carbs in any form, is that Red Beard doesn't need to restrict anything, ever, except maybe soda. He loves carbs and thanks to having the metabolism of a hummingbird he can eat carbs constantly and in large quantities and still wear the same belt every day. And they try to tell us that men and women are created equal. Liars.

Last night, in an effort to both increase our veg intake AND get dinner on the table in half an hour, I made hash. Really nice, meaty, kind of spicy kind of sweet hash with runny eggs and a green salad. Yes, there were potatoes involved, but only a fraction of the amount I would have liked (only 1/3 of the entire mix!). AND, for those of you who insist on being all vegetarian, this is easily converted to meatless. Okay, if you ditch the eggs and butter, it's easily vegan as well. It was also filling enough that Red Beard didn't need to go back for seconds - this is a huge deal. One of my biggest gripes about low-carb food is that is just isn't as filling as a plate of pasta or a baked potato. Between the veggies (which you hardly notice because they are all super finely chopped and well-hidden) and the spices, no one will go away hungry!

Side note: Food processors.

If you don't have one, get one. Seriously. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. I happen to have a Cuisinart only because it was a mommy hand-me-down. But it doesn't really matter if all you can afford is the $29.99 Black and Decker at Amazon or the $34.88 Hamilton Beach over at Horrible Wal-Mart. Just get one! They are completely worth the investment. Not only for hash, but for 1,093 other recipes, both ones I'll be sharing with you here and all over the planet. Some examples are stuffing (like for turkey), deviled eggs, tapanades, salsas, salad dressings, any dip a chip would ever want to meet, fresh pasta, ravioli fillings, lasagna fillings, pie dough ... you name it. A food processor will save you time and energy and you will want to cook more often because it is just THAT MUCH FASTER. Even better, as much as grating and slicing blades can come in handy, you really only need two things - the standard choppy choppy blade it come with (usually stainless steel) and the dough blade (usually plastic). Okay. Off of my soapbox now.

And on to hash!

Imagine the ooze potential of that egg yolk.

The meat I used this time is leftover pork roast that's been pulsed in the Cuisinart. It's from Christmas and it's been hanging out in the freezer since Dec 26th. I've also used turkey and beef (though the beef can't be rare for it to chop nicely, you have to roast off the leftovers until there isn't any pink left, then whir it). We never manage to finish leftover roasts, no matter how many sandwiches I fix, especially when it's pork. Leftover chicken is a whole other story - chicken and dumplings, enchiladas, tacos, roasted pepper and goat cheese pasta ... oh so many uses! Once the meat is whirred, just store it in the freezer, in a zippy bag. It's easy to pull out a cup or two here and there, for hash or meaty pasta sauces or pasta fillings (ravioli, rigatoni, lasagna, and tortellini). I don't even mind turkey hash if it's been ground down - and I hate turkey with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

The ingredient list, minus the green salad fixin's, is pretty easy peasy:

Frozen hash browns, finely chopped pork, onions, celery, garlic, carrots, bell pepper, parsley, thyme, & sage.

I was nice enough to pay attention to my measurements, but really, it's more about ratio. These amounts will serve four normal people OR myself and Red Beard with just enough leftover for him to have the rest as a second breakfast (like Hobbits, he eats a lot during the day ... breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, dinner, tea, supper ....). Add more as needed, depending on how many people you're feeding:

2 cups finely chopped pork
2 cups frozen hash browns
2 celery stalks
1 carrot
1/2 a large onion (or in my case, 1/4 white onion & 1/4 red onion)
1/2 of a bell pepper (any color you happen to have)
3 garlic cloves
1 stalk of fresh sage
1 stalk of fresh thyme
a small handful of fresh Italian parsley

Please ignore the eggs shown above. The eggs are an extra, a topping, a perfect compliment. They do not actually go into the hash. And because I forgot to add it to the first picture (I'm a dork, yes, I know):

Butter, olive oil, apple, salt, & pepper. And an apple!

This isn't rocket science, it's hash. It's really hard to screw up. You'll also need:

1/2 of an apple (I like granny smith, but whatever you've got)
2 tablespoons of butter
1 tablespoon of olive oil
kosher salt
pepper
1/2 cup white wine or chicken stock (not pictured at all because I'm just that smart)

Chunk up your veggies and pitch them and your fresh herbs into your handy dandy food processor because you ran out to buy one when you read the note above, right?.

It doesn't have to be pretty; let the machine do the work.

PULSE repeatedly until everything is finely chopped. Do not (repeat, DO NOT) turn on and walk away. You'll end up with mush. Mush isn't yummy. Or, in the words of the genius Alton Brown, mush just isn't "good eats".

Do you know how long this would have taken with a knife??

Voila! In less than 30 seconds, you're done chopping. Now preheat your oven to 250ºF. I know, again, I'm making you pre-heat your oven. You may as well get used to it, it's going to happen a lot. Also, if you're going to continue cooking with me, I recommend buying your onions, garlic, bell peppers, and butter in bulk. Like Costco-sized bulk. Butter stores great in the freezer, while onions and garlic can live in the pantry. The peppers are the only thing that need fridge space.

All good pans start with butter & a little olive oil to raise the smoke point.

Heat a skillet with some olive oil and one tablespoon of the butter. Add your veggies to the pan once the butter is melted. Stir them once in a while, letting everything get nice and hot and happy.

If nothing else, it's a pretty color.

After about 5 or 6 minutes, add your meat. Mix well and let the meat and veg make friends for 3 or 4 minutes. They'll be BFF's in no time! One of the tricks to this is let all the ingredients have time in the pan without rushing them.

Notice how the meat looks pretty close to the same amount as the veg ... hmmmmm.

Now add your hashbrowns. Try and break apart any frozen lumps before you chuck them into the pan. I like to get a little violent and bash the bag (unopened) on the counter a few times. It's really noisy. After 2 or 3 minutes, add your liquid. I used white wine. If you really insist, you can use chicken stock. But trust me, wine is best.

And we're starting to get somewhere.

Once your liquid is absorbed, add the other tablespoon of butter. Also, add salt to taste and as much pepper as you think you can stand. Once the butter is melted and you've stirred it all together, and adjusted your seasonings ...

This is really important!

... Squish the whole mixture into a ginormous pancake and LEAVE IT ALONE. Now is when we're going for those lovely crusty brown bits that make the whole thing taste sensational.

After a minute or two, check a small section. If it's getting some good color, NOW you can stir. Flip it all around, and make a big ugly mess.

Making a mess is fun!

Then squish it back out.

And we're back to being ~~adult~~ orderly.

Keep repeating every couple of minutes until it's as brown and toasty as you like it.

So easy to pretend that it's all just a pile of meat, potatoes, & onions. Veg? What veg??

When it's done, transfer the hash to an oven-safe dish, cover with foil, and stick it in your nice hot oven to keep warm while you're cooking your eggs (I prefer sunny-side up, for the ooze potential, but whatever) and tossing your salad.

See all the white space on the plate? This is my portion. Red Beard's plate has 2 eggs & looks like Mt Everest. I also think I need a new camera that doesn't make hash look like rice.

When you're done, you'll have something that has approximately 957 servings of veggies (in the hash alone, nevermind the salad), is super filling and wonderfully peppery and meaty, and won't make you feel like a beached whale when you're through with dinner.

Variations:

To all of my veg-head friends: Obviously, omit the meat. Either cook 2 cups of sliced mushies (sauteed please until they are starting to brown, with a little butter and olive oil .. or just olive oil) OR approximately 2 cups of tofu (sauteed until starting to brown in whatever the heck you cook tofu in) broken up into bits. Then add at the same point as I say to add the pork.

To all of my beef loving pals: Trade out the sage for rosemary, and use red wine instead of white. Also, add a handful of mushrooms to your veg mix when you're whirring. Beef likes mushrooms and red wine and rosemary.

Printable version now available at Tasty Kitchen! (click me! click me!)

Happy Happy Happy; Joy Joy Joy

2012-03-13T17:08:00.002-07:00

The last week or so has been a crazy whirlwind of birthday related fun - there was cake:

Orange Cake, Whipped Cream, & a Mixed Berry/Nectarine filling with Orange, Vanilla, & Ginger. The fruit makes it healthy!!

And more cake:

Coconut Cake, courtesy of Whole Foods.

And raspberry chocolate tart from Coney Island Bar:

It was very yummy. Which is why I forgot to take a picture until it was almost all gone.

And complimentary mixed-berry cheesecake from Western Village Steakhouse:

Which, after our very excellent dinner, we were only able to take 2 bites from.

And chocolate eclairs. And banana cream pie (no, of course I didn't eat anything banana flavored, that was for the Adorable Roomie). And ice cream. There was also Chilean sea bass with brown butter, herb crusted lamb chops, garlic mashed potatoes, escargot, bacon wrapped scallops, general's chicken, pulled pork, pad thai, pork sirloin with homemade sage gnocchi, ceasar salads (the good stinky kind, full of raw eggs and anchovies), wild mushroom pizza, duck confit hash, potato soup, eggs benedict, wine soaked oxtails, five spice calamari, shu mai dumplings with shrimp, szechuan lamb, risotto alla milanese (you'll be seeing a recipe soon for this one), grilled portobello mushies ....

Not to mention a whole lot of these:

Because a birthday celebration would hardly be complete with out a libation. Or two. Or twelve.

Between work friends and family and other friends, and regular everyday cooking, and a few gift cards to very nice restaurants, and a day trip to Truckee, it's safe to say that we may have overdone it slightly, in terms of caloric intake. Thank God for Tums and Pepto.

It was, really, kind of fantastic. Exhausting after nine days, but fantastic. I got to hear from people I don't hear from very often (which reminds me, I still owe a few folks a phone call), there were presents, I got to dress up; all in all, a great way to kick off my own personal new year.

I've also been reminded just how lucky I am that I have so many people all interesting in celebrating my birthday. Because really, in the cosmic scheme of things, I'm pretty much a nobody. Reminders are good. Reminders keep us from taking things for granted.

Now back to the grind! And just never you mind if my jeans are fitting a little tight this week.

Flowers are Totally Overrated.

2012-03-05T12:06:00.002-08:00

While this may be on some folks wish list:

Ok, who died?

... they've never really been on mine.

I don't mean the bouquets you buy on the bi-monthly Costco trips, or the flowers your friends bring you as a hostess gift when you invite them over; those are great. Those are reasonably priced and usually last at least a week and they look and smell wonderful while you've got them in your house. I'm not a monster, of course I like flowers; especially outside - I've been planning my 2012 flower beds since last September.

I'm talking about arrangements like the picture; the kind of flowers that Sparks Florist and 1-800-Flowers makes a living on. The kind you get on your birthday or anniversary or ~~one of those pesky Hallmark-inspired fake holidays~~ Valentine's Day. To me, expensive flowers are good only for funerals. Yes, really. This last Valentine's, we celebrated with take-out Thai food, and we picked out our own "gifts" on our monthly Costco trip. It was all flowers-and-candy-free. I mean, I've got approximately 471 vases in different sizes and colors, and how much knowledge, really, does it take to stick flowers in a vase?

Granted, Red Beard has gotten me flowers before. He surprised me with some really cool dark purple daisies that he'd seen at the grocery store, and just happened to think that purple daisies reminded him of me (because I'm so cool and dark, right?).

What you don't see is the huge mess of stems and petals and leaves and water all over my kitchen. Eh, whatever.

And once in awhile he'll grab a bouquet on his way home from work when we've got people coming over for dinner.

But then he started getting creative and showing off a little, about just how well he really knows me, and bringing home anything BUT flowers:

Sparkly pink flamingo Christmas ornaments
Three Olives Vanilla Vodka
12 year old Powers Irish Whiskey
Fireball Whisky (it's like melted red hots)
Red spray paint (I was feeling crafty)
Cup hooks (long story)
Firewood (be still my heart!)
Catnip mice for Wonder Kitten
Vietnamese chicken salad from Golden Flower
Potting soil
Vintage Ball jars (with the glass lids)
Old leather-bound books (Charles Dickens and Louisa May Alcott)
Batteries
New baking dishes
A pony (okay okay, an adorable hand-blown blue glass seahorse. Still, HORSE)

And most recently he took a little side trip to Trader Joe's on the way home:

Isn't someone a smarty?

8 jars of Organic Tomato Basil Marinara (yes, I can make my own, but why? This is an awesome base)
Baby heirloom tomatoes (because I like cute food)
Sweet potato fries (Trader Joe's store brand, from the freezer section - awesome with chili powder and cinnamon)
Grinder of smoked sea salt (ooooooh, it defies explanation)
Sweet chili sauce
Thai peanut sauce (because I've been attempting more Asian foods lately)

Sure, it all has to do with me cooking for him, but that's okay. I like to cook. Now if he was bringing home laundry soap and a new mop, he'd have a mutiny on his hands.

Squash Me!

2012-02-23T12:30:00.002-08:00

Lately, I've been craving grilled cheese. So of course, this led to soup because how else can you justify grilled cheese for dinner? Or in my case, Red Beard would have a hissy if all I fed him was a sandwich for dinner. And the butternut squash I'd bought was thisclose to spoiling. And soup like this definitely qualifies as a winter food.

Side note: I'm sure you all remember the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machines, right? Come on, I bet you have one stashed somewhere in the back of a cupboard, all dusty and disgusting! Well, while it may not be what ol' George had planned, and it certainly isn't "lean", those little grills make excellent panini presses. As in, the BEST GRILLED CHEESE EVER. E-V-E-R. Hot, crispy, gooey, the middle is hot, and the outside is golden and delicious and perfect. Turkey and havarti on sourdough (with caramelized onions and roasted peppers); provolone, tomato, and avocado on wheat, colby on white .... it's like having your very own Gourmelt Truck, in your kitchen. Seriously. Dig through your appliance graveyard, pull it out, dust it off, and butter up some bread.

Ooooh, swirly!

Where was I ...? Ahhhh yes, soup. Butternut squash soup. Even better, roasted butternut squash soup. Now don't pull that face. Everyone pulls a face when squash comes up, even my own mother. You're going to have to trust me though, this isn't like the squash or the squash soup you've had in the past. It's even far removed from what I was taught in culinary school. There's no heavy cream base, the vegetables aren't boiled into submission, and there's no heavy starchy babyfood-esque quality to it. I promise. And there's approximately 189 servings of vegetables and fruit in every bowl. If you're like me and have to force yourself to eat vegetables, this will help. It completely balances out all the cheese you're going to eat along with it.

This recipe is also easy peasy to amend for all of my vegetarian/vegan friends out there (amazingly, I have quite a few). Just omit the bacon, cream, and butter. You may have to use a bit more olive oil, and your only garnish will be the chives (so no pretty pretty swirl) but that's it. No fuss, no muss.

For those of you with kiddos and/or those of you who think squash is the devil, this has recipe has been tested out by a whole room full of adults (Red Beard included, and my mother) who pulled scrunchy faces at the mere mention of squash soup, as well as kids and teens ranging in age from 2 up to 14. With the exception of the 7 yr old (I do adore her, and I give her credit for trying it, but damn she's one picky eater!), everyone loved it and ate 2nd and 3rd helpings.

The ingredient list is fairly simple.

Okay, it may not look simple, but it is. Trust me.

Small Butternut Squash (you're aiming for about 1.5 lbs of diced squash, ready for oven)
Olive Oil
Salt (Sea or Kosher please, nothing iodized)
Black Pepper
5 Cups Chicken Stock, low sodium (40 ounces)
2 Strips of Bacon (thick cut is always best!)
1/2 Medium Yellow Onion (or White or Purple, it's an onion not rocket science)
1 Leek, cleaned and trimmed, with most of the dark green top taken off
2 Carrots, peeled please
2 Celery Stalks (this is a great use for those rough 'n' tough outer stalks)
1 Granny Smith Apple (or any mostly green apple you've got hanging around)
1 Orange Bell Pepper (or yellow, but not red; red will make the color funny later)
Flat Leaf/ Italian Parsley (if you have to use curly, I guess it's fine...)
Fresh Sage
4 Garlic Cloves (big ones!)
1/2 cup White Wine
1 teaspoon Herbes de Provence (available almost anywhere & a very useful spice mix to keep on hand)
Fresh Chives or Green Onions (optional)
Balsamic Vinegar
Sriracha Sauce (or whatever hot pepper sauce you like; but really, Sriracha is awesome)
Heavy Cream (optional)

A quick note about the picture quality in this blog ... the battery on my digital camera gave out after about 4 pictures. Towards the middle, the pics start looking a little "different" - it's because I had to switch to the iPhone.

For the Roasted Squash:

This part can be done days ahead of time. I usually roast the squash at least the day before, because it makes getting soup on the table that much quicker the night you're serving it. Just make sure you cover it well and keep it in the fridge.

Preheat your oven to 400º F.

First, you'll need to peel and clean your squash.

Cut the squash across to separate the fat round bottom from the slimmer neck. It's easier to peel in two pieces. Peel using a regular vegetable peeler - the skin is thinner than you'd think.

Poor naked squash.

Then, cut open the round bottom part (like a pumpkin) and scrape out the seeds and goo.

Poor eviscerated squash.

Cut all of the squash into a large dice (approximately 3/4 inch cubes). Toss with 1 tablespoon olive oil and about a 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and pepper; arrange in a single layer in a baking dish.

Okay ... APPROXIMATELY a single layer.

Roast, uncovered, for approximately 20 or 30 minutes. The squash should be very soft, soft enough to squish with a fork, and starting to get brown and toasty around the edges. Stir it once during the process.

This is where the iPhone pics begin.

After it's cooled, or the next day, or whenever you're ready to put all of this together, toss the squash into a blender with about 1.5 cups of the chicken stock and puree the heck out it. It should be really really smooth.

Smoother than a baby's butt.

If it seems too thick, and it's not blending all the way, add some more liquid. If you're using an immersion blender, it's the same process just in a container. But, I have to say, for this step I prefer a blender - it seems to come out creamier. Though I do love an immersion blender; more on that later.

When you taste the puree, don't be alarmed; it will be really bland and have some of that starchiness and baby food quality that makes everyone terrified of squash. Don't bother seasoning it. Just set it aside and move on to the rest; it'll fix itself later.

Not yummy yet. Bleh!

For the Soup:

One of the joys of a pureed soup is that you don't need to spend a lot of time making sure your vegetables are cut nicely and prettily. Instead, just aim for getting everything approximately the same size, in order for everything to cook evenly.

Cut all of the veg into a medium dice. Just keep your onions, leeks, and garlic a little separate from everything else because they're going to be added at different stages.

Like a half a rainbow....

The garlic doesn't even really have to be cut - just give it a good squish with the flat of your knife.

No curly parsley! No curly parsley!

While you're cutting, go ahead and rough chop the parsley and sage as well. You're aiming for about a 1/4 cup of each, loosely packed.

Sage. A little stinky, but worth it in the end.

Then, give your bacon a chop.

Now go wash your hands, the knife, & the cutting board - raw pork germs are nasty!

Time to start cooking! In a shallower, heavy bottomed pot (not a deep stock pot you'd boil pasta in, you need room to maneuver), start your bacon on a low-to-medium heat - not too hot; while you want the bacon to get a little crispy, you also want the fat to render out.

Pork fat. Enough said.

When the bacon is happy, add a little olive oil and some butter (about a 1/2 tablespoon of oil and 1 tablespoon of butter) to the pot, and add the onions and leeks. I think that sauteing everything (vs. chucking it all in raw to boil in the stock) keeps the flavors a lot fresher. Plus, all that browning and caramelizing it just yummy. While it may seem excessive to add extra fat on top of the bacon fat, it isn't. You're going to be adding a lot of veggies.

Breathe deep.

When the onions are translucent and just starting to brown, and the leeks are soft, add the sage and parsley and herbes de provence, as well as the garlic. Let them hang out for about 2 minutes.

Another deep breath. If only blogs included scratch 'n' sniff.

Now chuck in everything else, stir, and let cook for about 5 minutes longer. This should start smelling very very nice. Now deglaze your pot with the white wine, stirring and scraping to get any brown bits up off of the bottom of the pan. Brown bits = yumminess.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

In goes the rest of the chicken stock. Stir, bring up to a simmer, and allow to cook (covered) for 15 or 20 minutes - until the carrots are fork-tender.

Do not try this at home!

Now, the Adorable Roomie and I like spicy foods. So at this point, I added 1 full teaspoon of sriracha sauce. Don't do this!! Wait, until after the whole thing is assembled, and then add a little at a time - start with maybe 1/4 to 1/2 a teaspoon and taste as you go. If you're cooking for kids, I'd just put the hot sauce on the table and let the adults spice up their own bowls.

To Assemble:

Now is the time to bring out your immersion blender. If you don't have one already, they aren't expensive at all, you should consider getting one. They are the best way ever to blend hot liquids, because you never have to take the hot liquid out of the original pot. And, it's just damn handy to be able to blend something in it's own container. But of course, a regular blender works great here too, just be careful because they can splatter and I'm not sure how much you need to cool the soup before it won't crack the glass on the blender (are blenders heat tempered? I've never checked).

It may seem odd that we've already pureed the squash, and now we're doing the soup separately. That's on purpose. In order to achieve the perfect texture it really is best to puree the roasted squash separately from the soup base. Trust me when I say, it’s worth washing the extra dishes! The squash blends much smoother than the base and adds to the creaminess in the finished product.

I'm going to assume you've got an immersion blender, because that's what I used.

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Set your pot of soup into your sink (to reduce splatter) and begin blending the base. When you're starting to see some progress, add the pureed squash and blend the entire mixture until it's as smooth as you can get it. It'll take a minute.

Pepper, pepper, and more pepper.

Then, put the pot back onto the stove and bring it back up to a simmer. Season well with salt and lots and lots of pepper. Pepper is our friend. And I got a new pepper grinder for Christmas that I'm in love with and it's brought my love of pepper to a whole new level.

While you're at it, add 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar. Yes, it sounds weird. But it makes such a difference! A huge but subtle lovely difference that is oh so worth it. If you haven't added your spicy sriracha yet, add it now too (slowly, and in very small quantities).

Taste one last time, make any necessary adjustments, and start serving it up!

Is cream every bad?

As a garnish, using about a half a tablespoon of heavy cream per bowl, drizzle the cream over the soup. Granted, this is completely optional, so if you don't want to add any calories or don't like things pretty (ahem), skip this step.

Please ignore my lack of a manicure. Eventually, I'll use my latest Groupon & get my damn nails done.

Then, sprinkle the top with finely sliced chives, for just a little crunch and a burst of freshness.

So pretty. So tasty. Even without a snowstorm.

I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful this is. There's a fresh quality to it, where you can just tell it hasn't been cooked to death. There's a smooth creaminess that is surprising given the lack of dairy. And the overall flavor begs to be sipped slowly and savored.

I highly recommend you pair your soup with something grilled and gooey ....

Roasted peppers, caramelized onions, thin sliced turkey, & a whole lot of havarti. Ooooh, oozy.

Soup recipe, all handy dandy and printable, is available over in my recipe box at Tasty Kitchen!

Sacré Bleu!

2012-02-08T16:08:00.001-08:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the moldy cheeses... when Brick's melts blue cheese onto their escargot, or Luciano's adds gorgonzola to pretty much anything, I love it. But other times, like on a black and blue burger, the smell just hits me wrong. Really, I'm just a little weird.

Now when it comes to chicken wings and blue cheese, it's all about the love.

For a long time, and for no concrete reason at all, I would only buy blue cheese dressing. There was no way I could make it, right? Because, after all those years of culinary training, I wouldn't have any idea how to build a simple salad dressing from scratch!

Yeah, sometimes I'm slow.

Over this last weekend, I decided that the most perfect chicken wings ever really did deserve a dressing/dipping sauce made from scratch. So, I made one up.

It's only 12 ingredients! (The honey snuck out of the picture, little scamp; I'm starting to think my honey is shy)

You'll need fresh chives and fresh Italian parsley, garlic, one lemon, one of the small containers of blue cheese crumbles (or a solid chunk and you can break it up yourself), mayonnaise, sour cream, dijon mustard, a little creamy horseradish, and salt (kosher or sea salt) and pepper.

Variation: You can also use plain Greek yogurt instead of mayonnaise for a lighter version. I prefer FAGE but use what YOU like. Just be prepared to add a little bit of cider vinegar and extra salt (teeny amounts) if the flavor of the dressing seems a little flat. Of course, if you are dairy free, stick to mayo!

Start by mincing up two cloves of garlic.

Thinly slice some chives (approx 2 tablespoons).

Finely chop some Italian parsley (approx 1 tablespoon).

I really only use the flat leaf/ Italian parsley. I know people say that curly and flat leafed parsley taste exactly the same. I have to disagree. It seems no matter how finely I chop those curly little leaves, they still seem to have a tougher and sharper consistency than flat-leaf. And I don't think they taste the same - they don't SMELL the same, how can the flavor be identical? Of course, if you prefer the curly stuff, or it you can't get flat-leaf, that's totally fine. It's personal preference. I'm not going to show up at your door and throw a hissy fit for using the wrong varietal of an herb.

Zest a lemon (1 lemon = approximately 1 tablespoon of zest).

Add the blue cheese. I used a 5 oz container. Break up the cheese with a fork and mix well with the herbs, lemon zest, and garlic.

Juice a lemon and add approximately 2 tablespoons of lemon juice (no seeds please!).

Add 1 cup each of mayonnaise and sour cream. Add 1 tablespoon of dijon mustard, 1 tablespoon of honey, and 1 tablespoon of creamy horseradish. Add salt and pepper to taste. The cheese makes this prone to saltiness; add salt sparingly and taste often. Pepper, however, is just dandy - add as much as you can stand!

I know it's hard to see in the picture (eventually, I'll need to upgrade my camera), but it's actually quite pretty. There's all sorts of little confetti bits in yellow and green, and of course the moldy cheese adds some color as well.

Store in an air-tight container in the fridge. Serve it on salad or with crudite, or serve it like this:

Given the acid from the lemon juice, even if you used home-made mayonnaise this should last for at least a week in the fridge, if not a little longer.

The handy dandy printable version of this recipe is in my Recipe Box, over on Tasty Kitchen!

Squaaaawwk

2012-02-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

Growing up, my brother and I used to make jokes about sprouting feathers, because we ate so much chicken. In summer, it was barbecued, in winter it was roasted, and anytime at all it could be fried or souped. It makes sense - my mom loves all things chicken, almost as much as she likes bacon, and chicken was an inexpensive option, especially when you add in multiple kids, friends, and extended family.

I'm thankful she passed on the love of our feathered friends to me; I love chicken. Red Beard, however, isn't thankful at all because he thinks chicken is boring, but don't worry; I'm doing great on my campaign to change his mind. In fact, this last weekend, I think I may have made some amazing headway on that!

For Super Bowl Sunday, I made some lovely, spicy chicken wings - braised down, not fried - in a thick, gooey barbecue-style sauce that would be great on anything from pulled pork to short ribs. Be warned - while these wings and this sauce aren't in-your-face fiery, they do have a mellow, building heat that will open your sinuses for days.

Don't panic when you see the array of spices in the rub - I know, it seems like a lot, and a large variety. It may also seem expensive. I promise, with some smart shopping, it isn't. I am in love with these little envelopes, always available at Winco and to a lesser degree at Savemart:

Handy Dandy!

World Market also has an amazing variety of spices, in the same type of packaging. Wherever you find them, they range from approximately 68¢ up to just under $2, and they last forever; they've got enough in each envelope to use again and again. So far, from one packet of cumin, I've made a triple batch of chili (hunting season), these wings, and I've got more than half left. You've got the option of investing in refillable $1.99 jars while you're at World Market, or just keep your spice envelopes in a plastic container in your pantry (I have a plastic container with an attached lid, that's supposed to be for recipe cards).

On a side note, I love World Market. LOVE. The food section, the wine section, the kitchen toys, the dishes ... then there's that bathroom stuff and the wrapping paper, and the decorator items. And the Christmas stuff! So much fun. It's like a less expensive version of Pier One Imports (my second love, but mostly I'm only allowed to window shop). Anyway; back to the food...

Preheat the oven to 400º F.

I bought the frozen "party wings" chicken wing pieces but you can get whatever you prefer, just aim for 2 to 3 pounds. I would recommend using pieces vs. whole wings, and reserve the wing tips (which hardly have any meat anyway) to use later for chicken stock. You are all making your own chicken stock from scratch, right? Hee hee hee.

Rinse the chicken under cold water and pat dry (I pretty much always rinse off meat).

Chicken. So nasty raw; so yummy cooked.

Then wash your hands. This is going to be a theme today because it's raw chicken, chock a bock full of nasty germs that you really don't want to spread around.

Start assembling your spices. There's 10 altogether, and the list is not in the order they're shown in the picture because I just can't tell the difference between all the funny greeny-brown ones from a picture, without being able to sniff them:

Not as expensive as it looks.

1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1 tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Granulated Garlic
1 tsp Paprika
1/2 Tbl dried Oregano
1/2 Tbl Cumin
1/2 Tbl Coriander
1 Tbl Chili Powder (I used a mild Spanish variety)
1 Tbl Salt (Kosher or Sea salt please, none of that iodized stuff that tastes funny)
1 Tbl Black Pepper (recipes like this is why I keep the pre-ground pepper on hand)

Whisk them together with a fork (or a whisk, but I didn't feel like pulling one out). Mix well.

I like the colors.

Add your spices to your chicken bits (just put your chicken in a bowl first vs the colander you rinsed it in, or it's going to get messy..)

Starting to get un-boring...

Start tossing everything about! And if you're one of those people who's squeamish about handling raw meat - so sorry, but you're going to have to get your hands dirty. Get in there and work the spices into the chicken, pressing the rub into the meat.

Now go wash your hands again.

Assemble a baking rack inside a sheet pan, and spray the entire thing with Pam non-stick cooking spray. This is less about the chicken sticking to the rack, and more about having to scrub spicy bits off of the pan later. Pam cuts down on my scrubbing dishes time, so I love it.

We hate to scrub! We hate to scrub!

Arrange the chicken pieces on the rack and bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Or, if you're like me and you forgot to defrost your chicken wings and they are still a teeny bit frozen in the middle, bake them for 30 to 45 minutes. Wash your hands before you touch the oven handle.

Ready for the oven!

While those are roasting away, it's time to talk sauce. These wings would probably be fine just rubbed and roasted, but the we aren't going for fine. We're going for fantastical and amazing.

Yes, I know my orange & lemon are naked. I've got to use them up somewhere.

You'll need some of your spices again - the chili powder, cinnamon, and salt and pepper; plus some chili flakes. In addition, we're adding orange and lemon juices, onions and garlic, Worcestershire sauce, maple syrup, and Tobasco to kick a bottled barbecue sauce into high gear. I don't know why there's honey in the picture; little bastard must have sneaked out of the cupboard when I wasn't looking. Bad honey! No cookie!

Mince and saute 4 garlic cloves and about 1/3 of an onion. When it's just starting to brown, add a 1/2 teaspoon of red pepper flakes and let them start to bloom and release their heat.

Add a cup of whatever barbecue sauce you like. I am in love with the spicier varieties of Sweet Baby Ray's, but really, use what you've got. You're going to be adding so much other yummy stuff that the barbecue sauce is really just a background note and it adds much needed volume.

Add a cup of orange juice, 1/4 cup of lemon juice, as much Tobasco as you think you'll like (I used one teaspoon), a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, and a 1/4 cup of maple syrup (real, bled-from-a-tree maple syrup, not the "pancake syrup" that is just cooked-down sugar).

Stir to combine and begin adding your spices - 1 teaspoon of chili powder, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and a 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and ground black pepper. Stir to combine. Let the sauce reduce on medium low heat for 10 minutes - you'll notice it starts to get nice and thick and syrupy; just stir it often to keep it from burning.

Check on your wings. They should be roasting nicely and starting to drip onto their pan.

When your wings are roasted, arrange them in (mostly) a single layer in a baking dish. Again, spray the dish with Pam! No one wants to scrub off the sauce mess later.

Sorry, I'm out of caption ideas right now.

Pour all of that lovely sauce you made down over your wings.

And they're off for a swim!

Now, if you're freezing this dish, or taking it across town to your mom's house for Super Bowl (or wherever), stop here. Cover them with foil and you're done until you're about 30 minutes away from serving them. If you're freezing, just be sure to double wrap, and then defrost completely before baking.

Sigh. It's just so gorgeous.

When you decide you're ready to eat them, pop them into a 400º F oven for about 30 to 45 minutes. The sauce will start to bubble, the wings will cook until the meat is almost falling off the bone, and all the flavors will get married and live happily ever after.

So hot. So spicy. So fantastical.

Serve them with Blue Cheese dressing (check out the post Sacre Bleu for the dressing details). Or serve them by themselves. Or hoard them all for yourself and don't serve them at all and forget everything you ever learned about sharing.

Get the handy printable version of this recipe over at Tasty Kitchen!

Super Bowl is a Handy Excuse ...

2012-02-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

... to eat cheese and assorted goodies all day and not feel at all guilty about it. Okay, okay, so there happens to be a football game on. Whatever. I could pretend to actually care who wins but anyone who's been around me for five minutes will tell you that I don't really have a sports brain. I can watch sports, and enjoy sports (especially LIVE sports, who doesn't like going to live games? Especially hockey games, go Sharks!), and understand sporting events (mostly), but would I choose to watch sports over, say, Chopped, or Firefly reruns, or Criminal Minds, or my complete set of Deadwood DVDs? Ummm, NO.

Though, given that I do adore ~~Goober~~ Eli Manning and Tom Brady (now that he cut his damn hair), it could be that I didn't care because I couldn't pick a team to cheer for...

My mom and I kept if fairly simple this year. As in, we only spent half the game making and serving snacks, and we actually got to sit down and watch the game.

Recipes for all of this will follow in the next few days. I'd like brownie points please for taking the time to figure out measurements for everything, instead of just chucking in seasonings willy-nilly and telling you to add "some".

We started with Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups, because they involve cheese. This one has no measurements at all, so you can have directions in a minute, down below.

Hot cheesy beef & bread, with barely 10 minutes of prep. Does it get any better?

Then we had mom's guacamole and my faux pico de gallo (it's faux because I use more veggies than the traditional "proper" version). I didn't have a chance to take a picture of the guacamole; the guys inhaled it too quickly.

Look at all the pretty colors!

Finally, we stuffed Red Beard and my dad with super spicy braised chicken wings and blue cheese dipping sauce.

Spicy. Sweet. Cheesy. Creamy.

Of course, all of this was supplemented with beer.

As you might expect, we weren't very hungry when it came time for dinner, once the game was over. And our mouths were burning a bit, thanks to the wings and all the pepperjack and the spicy mustard. We like spicy. We like spicy a LOT.

As time goes on, you may be alarmed by how much Sriracha I add to things. Really, don't be. I haven't killed anyone yet, and in a lot of cases, even when you don't use enough to actually make something hot, it just adds that little "something" that makes food that much better.

In the meantime, we had to run interference between the food and this spoiled pup:

In case you're wondering, he's got his bunny in his mouth. He loves Bunny.

This is my parents' hunting dog. The one that the Wonder Kitten has bullied into submission. His therapy sessions are going great! There's really no relaxing fully when there's food out and a pup loose; not unless you like your roll-ups with the mustard licked off.

*************************************************************************

For those of you who've never made them before, here's a quick tutorial on Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups:

Start with a pack of Lit'l Smokies. They come in turkey or chicken with apple flavors, but in our family, we like either the traditional "plain" ones (that say "made with quality pork, turkey, and beef" on the label) or the all-beef ones. Sure, I suppose you could use regular hot dogs or sausages and simply cut them to size, but that's no fun.

In addition, you'll need pepperjack cheese, a couple of different types of mustard, and a tube of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (or any brand of croissant dough in a can). In fact, I think there's a version of this recipe, in video format, on the Pillsbury website.

It's easy peasy! Flatten out the dough in the individual triangles and cut each triangle in half lengthwise. Lay a mini sausage and a couple of cheesy chunks at the fat end of the triangle. Then roll them up!

Lay everything out on a baking sheet. Either use pan spray or line the sheet with foil, because if the cheese ooozes out during cooking (and it will), scrubbing burned-on cheese off of a sheet pan sucks. Bake the roll-ups at 400º F until the cheese is gooey and the bread is a pretty color. We squished together two kinds of mustard, a dijon and a sweet/hot Asian mustard, and called it a dipping sauce (such a complex procedure, I know).

Breakfast, It's What's for Dinner

2012-02-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

Ahhh breakfst. I've been a fan of breakfast foods at dinnertime and any other time since I was a little kid. There was just something so fun about all that sugar being allowed at dinnertime. But then, I seem to remember my mom allowing pie at breakfast (it's a fruit group!), so it could be our family is just a little odd ...

What is it about pancakes? Nothing beats a good pancake. Red Beard is just as addicted as I am, though we do differ on a few of the specifics. For example, I like real, natural, from-a-tree maple syrup; he likes that sugary fake "pancake syrup" that never has to see the inside of a fridge and will out live a cockroach (really, it's just cooked down sugar with some caramel coloring and "maple" flavor thrown in). I like my eggs poached or sunny-side-up (ie, runny yolked) while he likes his dead as a doornail, with brown bits and crispy edges (bleh!). And, I adore blueberries and cinnamon and orange zest (fancy pancakes), whereas he is likes his so plain Jane that I'm lucky I can sneak vanilla in there.

For the sake of family harmony, I just split the batter and make two kinds. Partially because I like to get my way; partly because I spoil Red Beard as often as humanly possible (it's okay, he totally gets me back).

In addition to pancakes, I also love Bisquick, because it saves me from having to measure very much stuff.

I also love any dinner with a fairly short ingredient list, where I pretty much have everything already on hand.

Bisquick, Baking Powder, Salt & Pepper (for the eggs), Butter (Duh), Cinnamon, Orange, Vanilla, Blueberries, Milk, Eggs, & Bacon (Yay!)

First, because I always forget this step, preheat your oven to 250º.

Usually, I'd mix all of the dry ingredients (including the cinnamon) all at once, but since I had to split the batter later, I started with the dry ingredients that were in both batters first:

Dry Ingredients

Start with 2 Cups of Bisquick, 1 Tablespoon of Sugar, a pinch of Salt, and 2 Teaspoons of Baking Powder. Whisk them together to combine them (besides, Bisquick is lumpy stuff, you need to break it up).

Add the Wet Stuff

Then add 2 (large) Eggs, 1 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract (please, for the love of flavor, buy the REAL vanilla that you have to store in the fridge and not "vanilla"), and 1 Cup of Milk.

Why hello there!

Then, ~~beat it into submission~~ whisk away! I know they say pancake batter can have lumps, but lumps send my OCD into overdrive. So sue me. That's why I like to whisk vs. stir. You'll have a few teeny weeny baby lumps, but that can't be helped.

If you don't like fruit and etc, stop here and skip ahead to where I melt butter in a non-stick pan. Red Beard wants me to stop here.

Because it's fun to make dishes dirty ...

But because I'm me, I split the batter into 2 batches - the large amount for his plain Jane pancakes, and the smaller amount for me to mess with.

Pretty pretty pretty.

Zest an orange (it probably equals about a tablespoon...approximately).

Sprinkle Away!

Add some cinnamon (start with a teaspoon, more if you really like it).

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 1.

Add a tablespoon of orange juice. And while you're at it, mix yourself a Screwdriver. They're especially nice with vanilla vodka. Or regular vodka, plus a splash of vanilla extract. There's no picture of me putting orange juice into the batter, because I was preoccupied by cocktail time. Oops. Yes, I realize I could have just juiced the orange that I just zested, but I already had an open Tropicana carton in the fridge to use up. The naked orange will last longer - I can make cocktails with that tomorrow!

Time to cook!

I don't have a griddle pan. Pancakes work best on a griddle pan. But I've got six non-stick frying pans, so that's what we're using. I set the stove to just under medium heat. When the pan's hot, add butter. Side note: I only buy unsalted butter. You can get it everywhere (including Wally and stinky but wonderfully cheap Winco). Even in baking. If I forget to say it later, any recipe I make uses unsalted butter.

Unsalted only, please.

Here is where I take a moment to thank the Pioneer Woman for showing me this trick with the butter - forget tossing chunks into a hot pan, just peel half the paper and swipe your pan with it. If you don't like the butter as it starts to brown, or don't like butter (please say you love butter, how can butter inspire hated?), use pan spray.

I'm not going to show cooking both types of pancake, that would be silly. We're skipping straight ahead to the glorious-ness of the blueberry-orangey-cinnamony ones.

Check out the teeny lumps. OCD moment in 3... 2... 1...

Pour circles (or spoon circles, or whatever) into your pan. I wouldn't recommend huge, plate-sized pancakes because the weight of the blueberries (see below) already makes them more awkward to flip than regular pancakes. Plus, the berries add fibery goodness (so they are more filling) and all that yummy orange and cinnamon (and the vanilla) makes them kind of rich - smaller is better.

See, brown butter. I promise, it tastes fine.

Sprinkle fresh blueberries over the top. Press them (gently) down into the batter. Cook them until they are golden on the bottom. How to tell if your pancake is ready to flip? It will be loose from the pan. Undercooked batter = sticky mess. If your spatula slides underneath easily, while it may not be as golden as you'd like, it will be cooked. Seriously, could I get a manicure already? Or at least make friends with an emery board? Please disregard my lack of grooming.

I know, you can't see the fruit. It's on the bottom, remember?

Flip! Again, flip carefully.

Repeat this step until you've cooked them all.

As the pancakes get done, set them on an oven-proof dish in your (preheated) oven. Feel free to stack. You don't even need to cover them. They turn out just fine, and they're toasty and hot when you're ready to serve them. On regular plain pancakes, I usually add a little butter between them as I stack. These, though, are rich enough, so I don't even bother to butter them before eating them.

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 2.

In the meantime, while you're mixing, and whisking, and measuring, and flipping, you really ought to have a 2nd pan going of thick-cut peppered bacon. Because bacon goes with everything! And of course, when you're having breakfast for dinner, bacon is even more important. AND, Red Beard would revolt if I served his eggs and pancakes sans bacon. You do not want to get between him and his pork products!

Peppered thick-cut bacon is my favorite. Of course, you could cook whatever you prefer, but when paired with the fruit and sweet in the pancakes, the pepper helps to balance everything so that you don't end up with a cavity.

This whole time, I had this playing at my feet:

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 3. Please take note of the hair tie that he's snuggling with.

We've been lucky so far - Wonder Kitten has yet to discover the kitchen counter tops. I don't have to hide the butter. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I also made eggs; because what would pancakes be without eggs to squish between them? Eggs are awesome. A little salt, a little pepper ...

Don't blame me for the broken yolks - Red Beard insists on it.

I don't have a picture of my perfect, sunnyside up, runny yolked egg. I forgot. At that point, I was getting hungry.

Oooooooh, yum!

The mellow blueberry flavor, with the subtle bursts of orangey, cinnamony goodness, plus that flavor that only real maple syrup has, is fantastic. Inside, they are cakey and fluffy and the blueberries are just barely barely cooked. Squish an egg between them, and add some peppery bacon to the plate, and it's heavenly.

Have I made you hungry yet?

PS. I promise, my grout/counters are cleaner than they may appear in the pictures. But in 73 years (the tile is original to the house), stains and discoloration tends to happen. My kitchen may have some stains, but it's also scrubbed regularly and I go through bleach spray even more quickly than I go through butter, bacon, vodka, and cheese.

PPS. You can also find a printable version of this recipe over on Tasty Kitchen, with measurements and everything

Research & Development

2012-01-29T16:04:00.000-08:00

My original plan for today was a recipe for Limoncello Pound Cake. I've been developing this recipe for a few weeks now, and I've just about got it down. Since I needed to make one anyway to bring to a dinner at a friend's house, it just made sense to blog it. Besides, some people have been asking for the recipe and I could just send them the link.

However, it was a Sunday morning, and I was having fun snuggling the kitten and being dozy, and my kitchen sink was full of dishes that I'd have to clean up before I could bake (small kitchen). So I was happily procrastinating online and doing research about ~~Seal and Heidi Klum's separation~~ food blogs and how the popular ones are put together.

Turns out, it's a good thing I did. There is a very specific method to this food blogging madness. Pictures - people like pictures. And they like too much information. I hate to over-explain, because I hate to be spoken down to. But apparently, in food blogging, there is no such thing as over-explaining and taking way too many pictures of the food preparation process. And I mean, a LOT of pictures.

I wasn't planning that many pictures. Or that many instructions. It seems I was naive.

So there is no blog about Limoncello cake today. That is going to be later this week. Or maybe never. Mainly because it took about 3x as long to make the damn cake due to taking the damn pictures. Oh, adding vanilla? Take a picture. Whisking an egg? Take a picture. ~~Drinking~~ adding the Limoncello? Take another picture. Then poke yourself in the eye with a bamboo skewer....

On the plus side, Red Beard was nice enough to do the dirty dishes that were originally piled in the sink while I ran to Horrible Stinky Wal-Mart for cake boards and a cake box (our Wal-Mart has an awesome cake section now, by the way). And the cake did turn out beautifully. It sitting on the counter right now, tucked in it's box, ready to take with us tonight.

Ready for transport!

And I managed to pull some boxes out of Granny's attic and find some new cobalt blue dishes at the Goodwill store (which my mom threatened to steal, and she's now holding my blue platter hostage).

What I didn't do is manage to wash the dishes from cake making. As much as I love living in a circa-1939 house, there's no dishwasher. My kitchen was pristine for about 28 minutes, now it's back to normal.

Yay! More dish washing by hand!

I cleaned off the counter just enough to make lunch for Red Beard (he gets cranky hangry if I don't feed him).

Salami & Cheese, Sourdough, Lettuce-Tomato-Onion, AND Roasted Peppers & Pepperoncini. Can you say SPOILED?!

I also watched part of Gladiator ...

... and played fetch with Wonder Kitten and his new fish toy ...

... and did NOT put any laundry in ...

... and what do you know?! By the time I was done NOT doing any dishes or laundry or anything productive, it was time to clean up to go to dinner (because it's a good idea to shower before going to dinner at a friend's house, no one like the stinky kid in class)! Nope, no Cake Blog today! Procrastinating on a Sunday is fun!

Though it is NOT fun to try and take a shower when you haven't put the towels in the dryer. Shit.

Introducing the Wonder Kitten

2012-01-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

It all began as a way to make Red Beard crazy.

Red Beard is a little dog obsessed (this was before we got the Crazy Pup). He kept looking up dogs to adopt or puppies to buy, constantly. It was all, "look how cute" and "he'd love our yard" and "oooh, read this abuse story, maybe we could go meet him".

No don't get me wrong, I love dogs and I DID want a dog However, I didn't really like the idea of him getting a dog and I got ... well ..... part ownership of the same dog, plus all the work that goes with it.

I'm a girl, and the youngest, and fairly spoiled - I wanted a pet tooooo (insert whiny voice here). Though puppies are completely awesome ... and more than enough work for 2 people .... but I just love making him crazy. Anyway, regardless of how my twisted brain got there, I got my Irish up.

And I started doing searches of my own ... for BUNNIES. Because he said that I could NOT, under any circumstances, ever have a house bunny.

Oh really.

It wasn't hard to find 893 bunnies up for adoption, and after he'd been forced to look at 807 pictures of fluffy bunnies, he was starting to lose patience. His ears were getting red and everything.

So when I mentioned wanting a cat for Christmas, he was all relieved and agreed instantly! How smart am I?!

Originally, I was looking for a Bengal to adopt. We found one for my mom a few years ago, and did a lot of reading about the breed's "quirks" then (whoever wrote those articles left a ton out, let me tell you). After living with Boris the Animal since 2007, I was pretty sure I knew a thing or two about the Bengel's insane nature, and it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I figured I could do a good deed by adopting, and it wasn't like I would ever even attempt to justify spending $1200 (!!) on a kitten anyways.

My search led me to Purebreds Plus Cat Rescue. PPCR is fantastic! They take in any number of cats, from any number of breeds (including hybrids like Bengals and Chausies), collected from various humane societies and SPCAs, and even cats from breeders that have been closed down for any number of horrible reasons. Just be warned, going on their website will make you cry. Most of the cats have a story (a sad story!), and PPCR just loves detailing the medical attention or re-socialization many of these cats needed after they were rescued. Sniff.

The adoption process was lengthy, involving essay questions and a review of my vet records regarding any previous cats I'd owned. PPCR volunteers calling ALL of the references I listed, and spoke with my vet. At first, I was really surprised, but then I realized - PPCR is run by crazy cat people. OF COURSE they called my references and spoke with my vet. They don't let their newly rescued babies go to just ANYONE.

Despite the very cute Bengals and Siamese and Scottish Fold and Persians that I saw and read about and cried over, there was no doubt which of the little fuzzy wuzzies I was destined to take home:

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Meet Wonder Kitten, a Maine Coon kitten adopted the day after Thanksgiving. Well, really we adopted him officially two weeks sooner, but he had a small flea problem that needed handling before we brought him home. He was around 6 months old and 7 lbs when we got him. Our vet took one look at his feet and said "You know he's going to grow right? He's going to grow a LOT". Ummm, yeah. He has. In just about 10 weeks he's gained 3 lbs and is the size of a normal run-of-the-mill adult cat. Except, in Maine Coon terms, he's only about half way there.

We were told repeatedly by his foster mommy that he was a Shy Cat. Didn't take to strangers quickly, may not like us, blah blah blah.

Wonder Kitten is NOT shy.

He wasn't shy when we met him at foster mommy's house (he head butted me and started chewing on my thumb, then climbed in my lap, all in the first 3 minutes ... then emptied my purse and started dragging it around the living room).

He wasn't shy on the drive home from Sacramento (he howled until we let him out of the carrier; then slept in my lap and drooled on me for the next 2 hours).

Shut up in a carrier = Angry Kitty

He wasn't shy when we first got him home (he took a huge poo in his shiny new box, ate a bowl of kibble, and snuggled between us on the bed).

He hasn't been shy any day since.

In fact, he's nosy and obnoxious and insists on helping me with everything I do.

I think his foster mom doesn't quite know what the word "shy" means.

That's not to say that foster mommy didn't do a good job - he was a little more behind on his inoculations than I liked, but he didn't have ringworm, ear mites, or kennel cough (all common in multiple-cat environments); he was box trained and super socialized and didn't have more than a couple of neuroses. Though she did name him Harry Potter ... I'm a fan of the entire H/P enterprise, books and movies both, but that is not an acceptable cat name. He didn't even like it himself.

All in all, she did a brilliant job raising him from this:

Poor Little Baby Orphaned Harry Potter

To This:

... shy my ass!

Granted, he's got a few issues:

He drowns his toys in his water dish
He's addicted to my hair ties, up to and including trying to pull them out of my hair
He's a pack rat. His stash is under our bed. When things go missing, like slippers or socks or pens, that's where they we find them.
He thinks cell phones = chew toys.
He's given my dad's Big Scary Hunting Dog an inferiority complex; the Buster Keaton is now in therapy.
He's farts when he's excited.
He thinks feet are evil and waits until you're sleeping to attack them
He loves cough drops and Hershey's kisses and brings them to you in the middle of the night, all slimy.
The laptop is the warmest place to sleep in the house.
He seems to think he's the most handsome and precious animal ever to grace the earth

And I have to say, I tend to agree with him.

He's my boy. And he's beautiful and fearless and playful and talkative and just a little bit crazy, with all of the same authority problems that his new pet parents have.

Bring on the puppies.

*******************************************************

Update: Apparently, issue #45 is that the Wonder Kitten likes trail mix. Unfortunately, as evidenced by the mess I just had to clean up in my laundry room, trail mix DOES NOT LIKE HIM BACK. Cats shouldn't eat dried cranberries and almonds. Bad messy things will happen. (gag)

Definition of a Food Pusher

2012-01-25T22:29:00.000-08:00

Food pushing is a complex and wonderful art in which a person does everything in their power to get everyone else to eat until they burst. Not in an evil, trying-to-transform-their-friends-into-Jabba-the-Hut, let's-all-get-really-fat-sort-of-a-way; it's more in a good hostess, make everyone comfortable, have-another-cocktail way. Common questions include:

Have you eaten enough?
Do you want to taste this?
No really, it's great, you should taste it!
Do you want more of anything?
Do you want half of my burger/sandwich/steak?
You're not driving, right, so more wine?
Dessert, right?
What do you mean you're too full for dessert?

It seems that there is a need and compulsion shared by the women in my family to make sure everyone around them is well-fed. Even if it means we won't eat, or eat as much as we'd like, it's okay - so long as everyone else is busting their buttons. Thank God the men in our family are all eaters with really awesome metabolisms.

Granted, it helps tremendously with portion control. It's hard to feel guilty about a bar burger at Louis Basque Corner when I know I'm giving half of it and most of my garlic fries to Red Beard. One burger and his own order of fries doesn't fill him up. Red Beard needs his own burgers and fries, PLUS a side salad, PLUS an order of zucchinni sticks, PLUS half of my own burger and fried before he's full. And then only for a couple of hours before he's digging in freezer for shrimp corndogs.

Red Beard took a little bit of time to get used to this. When we were first dating, he was taken aback by my constant pushing. We'd go out to dinner and I'd keep harping at him to "try this, it's really good!" and there was a constant stream of "I'm full. Do you want this?" be it a doughnut or half a burger, or pretty much anything that wasn't going to gross him out (like my super runny eggs, squished between my pancakes; Red Beard gets a little wobbly at the sight of runny eggs).

I'm sure he thought that is was just a standard Girl Thing - pretending to be full or not hungry or that I didn't need to consume food ever. Which I get, I know many females of all ages who like to give the impression that they exist on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe (brownie points to anyone who knows the movie!).

Perhaps if my 501's weren't so amply filled, I could get away with that, but come on! Of course I eat - most of the females I know eat, and eat well, and cook well, and don't care who knows it. In my case, I just can't be trusted not to force feed people; and the places Red Beard and I tend to frequent give really large portions so giving half away really didn't leave me feeling deprived.

And I really did not care much about eating when he and I were first dating (so much so that 20+ lbs just melted right off) because I was too busy being all pink and shiny and floaty and annoying, because dating him was that much fun that I couldn't be bothered with food .. but that's a story for another time.

It's kind of a match made in heaven: I cook a lot, and try to force feed him like a prized goose with an oversized liver (foi gras, anyone?) and he's 6ft5 with the metabolism of a ferret. I highly recommend to my fellow food pushers (you know who you are!) that you try to find this combination. Because I, for one, would have little patience trying to cook regularly for a bacon-free vegan with a metabolism ~~as slow as molasses in January~~ like mine.

I don't have a picture that really fits today's topic, so instead here's a picture of my poor Starbucks that closed. Another of the few perks of our location in Horrible Sparks was this Starbucks, with the drive-through, that was on my way to work and only 5 blocks from my house. Sniff. I miss you! If it weren't for the Starbucks that shared a parking lot with my office, and the 456 other Starbucks locations on my drive, I'd need a xanax and probably die of caffeine deprivation.

Pizza Pizza!!

2012-01-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

For dinner tonight, I force fed Red Beard a pizza. A wonderfully yummy, beautifully crusted pizza, half Blind Hawaiian with bell peppers and half pepperoni pizza from one my absolute favorite pizzerias in the Biggest Little City - The Blind Onion. Seriously, one of the few (very few) things about having to live in Horrible Sparks that is a "pro" is being thisclose to the Blind Onion in Victorian Square.

In my defense, I cooked all sorts of homemade fantastic cheesy delights this last weekend. But work kicked my ass yesterday and today and my brain is now mush. If I tried to chop an onion I'd probably lose a finger.

Last night, my wonderful mom came to Red Beard's rescue and had us up for buffalo steaks with roasty potatoes and wine-soaked drunken mushrooms (thank God, or else he'd have had to made do with ramen noodles and stale Doritos).

Tonight, PIZZA TIME! Which happens to coincide with... COCKTAIL TIME! Orange juice is healthy, right, even with the vodka in it?

I'm sure there are plenty of folks in Sparks who would love to know why I find it horrible over here in the north east section of our valley, but I'm in my happy place and I don't feel like dredging it up. Suffice it to say, Sparks has some major bad juju for me. Yes, I use words like "juju".

I also have this curled up against the back of my neck while I sit on the couch:

Wonder Kitten to the rescue!

So much nicer than slaving over a hot stove. Fireplace, kitten, pizza, cocktail, Red Beard, and a fluffy blanket. Best way ever to wind down after a craperrific work day.