Love and Light by JoAnna Santanen

Dating and Parenting Are Not Mutually Exclusive

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Wed, 09 Sep 2015 16:27:00 +0000

For the parents who love to use their children as a way to protect themselves from the "danger" of a relationship: quit it. You’re only hurting yourself and preventing your children from having the opportunity to learn from another loving person. I was raised by a single mom after my dad passed when I was little. While I respect that my mother was able to handle it all on her own, she also missed the opportunity to be loved by a man and denied me the chance to have another father figure in my life.

“No one will want to date someone with (so many) kids.”

One, two or ten children, parents need love just as much as anyone else. A friend of mine married a man with six children when she had none herself. She delights in being a stepmother to his children, and finds fulfillment that she wouldn’t have with a non-parent. Sure, blended families have their unique challenges, but that doesn’t mean that everyone isn’t better off for being together. My friend’s marriage just goes to show that just because you have children, even if you have lots of children, it doesn’t eliminate the opportunity for you to find true love. If her husband had believed that, she never would have met him and found the happiness that they share.

“I’m worried my partner will try to raise my children for me.”

This might seem like a wise parenting decision, but it’s more an excuse not to put yourself at risk, rather than protecting your children. Obviously, if you find yourself with a partner who wants to weigh in on your parenting, you should listen but remain in control of your decisions. Another person’s input may actually be a good thing, especially if they’re coming from a place of love. You hold the power to veto anything you don’t agree with, and set boundaries that your partner needs to respect.

“I don’t want my children to be forced to share my attention with another person.”

This is a sticky one because while your children should be at the top of your priority list, they should also learn that you are human, and deserve to have a loving partner. This excuse would never even come into play if you were in a nuclear family scenario. Mommy and Daddy aren’t doing anything wrong by loving each other when baby comes along. More importantly, no good comes from children who never know adversity of any kind, and frankly, if sharing your attention with another person is their greatest challenge, they’re doing great. A balance between togetherness time with the children and alone-time needs to be a priority, so that the kids feel loved and nurtured, but so does your relationship with your partner.

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3 Reasons You're Still Single

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Thu, 27 Aug 2015 16:51:00 +0000

Here's few more reasons you've probably been telling yourself for why you're still single when you don't want to be.

“I’m too shy to meet new people.”

At one point, every person you know was someone new in your life. Some relationships are easier to start than others (family members, for example) but you had to begin somewhere with all of your friends, co-workers and neighbors. Remember when you were a kid and you saw another child playing on the slide and you’d just say “Hi! Want to be friends?” without a second thought? It was that easy then, and it still is!

Maybe that wasn’t your way of making friends as a kid, maybe you were the child who’d rather just sit on the swings alone, for fear of being made to feel inadequate by the other kids. If that was the case, how’d that work out for you? You probably spent a lot of time feeling lonely, wishing you had a friend. Now that you’re an adult, I’m sure it’s rather obvious that waiting for everyone else to come to you sure doesn’t work in the real world. If you have ever had to go on a job interview, you know that staying silent simply won’t get you the job offer. The same is true when it comes to dating. I know it can be hard to put yourself out there when you’re really shy, but I assure you, it is the only way to make any change. Overcoming your fears in the best way to conquer them and grow as an individual. Shyness is a crutch that keeps you playing it safe and seldom winning, and you need to let go of your irrational fear that you will be chastised for sparking up a conversation with another person. Moreover, you may not even realize that your shyness is evident to others, even when you say nothing. Others can perceive your closed-off energy, and they probably mistake your shyness for snobbery or negativity. While you’re worried that they don’t like you, you look like you don’t like them!

“I’ve been open to a relationship for years, but I’ve never met anyone.”

Well, that’s a flat-out lie. No matter how much you think you’ve been passed over, there is no doubt you’ve met someone who would have been happy to date you if you hadn’t been closed off to the concept that someone else might find you attractive. When you’re shy, low on self-confidence/self-worth or worried that you’ll be rejected, you appear to your potential "candidates" as being uninterested in dating, or worse, unimpressed by them in particular. You unconsciously slammed the door shut on them before they ever had a chance to say hello.

“I get really nervous on dates and look like a psycho.”

Even the most confident among us still gets nervous. No doubt every entertainer gets nervous before a show and being on stage in front of thousands is literally their job! Your date is nervous, too (even if they don’t show it). I find nervousness to be a good thing and here’s why. When you’re nervous, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone. You’re GROWING! You’re making progress. Everything takes practice and apprehension is a normal first stage. You will make it through that uncomfortable zone if you stick with it. You have to keep trying to get better. Also, if you're nervous, don't worry about letting your date see that. The fact that you're nervous will likely alleviate some of their feelings too, and you can find common ground in the fact that dating is nerve-racking!

Try to accept that nerves are a part of the growing process and you CAN overcome them, even though they might seem insurmountable. Many of our deep-seated fears are simply illusions we must see as such and nervousness is no exception. Don't worry: you're not a psycho, you're normal.

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Eating Candy in Fat Prison

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 14:38:00 +0000

I used to be morbidly obese. I was what I would call mega fat. I mean, crazy, ridiculous, can-barely-move fat. It was an awful life. My body was became incarceration for my soul, rather than a vehicle to express it. My body was a prison made from fat that I could not escape. Just getting out of the recliner was a heavy-ho effort that often made my back and knees creak painfully. I was well over one hundred pounds overweight by my twenty seventh birthday and had the energy level of a terminally ill senior citizen. My life was miserable.

I went on a business trip when I was at my heaviest and the seat belt barely fit my belly. I was horrified. I am a nervous flyer and MUST HAVE my seat belt on for sanity’s sake. I kept it painfully buckled over my enormous lap, cutting into my stomach rather deeply for an eight hour flight. It was a wake up call that took almost another year for me to finally see as such. My denial was so strong that I actually blamed the design of the plane rather than accept the idea that I was getting too big to fit in an airplane seat as a short, twenty-something woman. I was fucking delusional but had no idea that I was.

I wasn’t overweight until after I lost my father at age seven. Emotional overeating is certainly a common way to deal with grief and I used that coping mechanism to my best advantage. I sought comfort in pizza and Mike 'N Ike's with reckless abandon.

My family members were also overweight and so there wasn’t a good example of how to eat nutritiously as much as how to eat for optimal flavor. Our portions were huge, sweets and carbs were plentiful and fresh produce was rare. Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve gained and lost more than 300 pounds because my upbringing and the way I viewed food. My fat battle has raged on for decades because of long-held beliefs that were working against me. Several times over, I’ve steadily climbed up in weight, lost a bunch and then gained it back, with interest. It was infuriating. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just stay slim. It looked easy for other people, but I was hiking uphill all the time.

I started dieting in elementary school but couldn’t stick to it until high school. After going through my sophomore and junior years of high school at over 200 pounds on my five-foot-one frame, I wanted to get into better shape for my senior year. I knew that I wanted to have a fun, active lifestyle and the only way to do that was to start exercising. I lost seventy pounds that summer – by starting to jog a mile every day and eating only chips and salsa (bizarre choice, but they’re my favorite!). Oh, and I smoked two packs of Marlboros and put down a six pack of Diet Coke on the daily. When you’re seventeen, you care about being skinny, not being healthy.
...

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Creating an Attractive Online Dating Profile

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 15:00:00 +0000

You've finally decided it's time to put your worries aside and start dating online. Great! Now, you probably already know what you're looking for in a partner, but you're having trouble figuring out how to advertise yourself without feeling like an egocentric lunatic.
Set aside the idea that you're being vane or conceited by creating a profile, and realize that the only way someone will find you is through your profile. The better your profile, the more likely you'll be to attract the person you're interested in.
What makes a great online dating profile?
First and foremost, honesty. If you're overweight, admit it. Don't use a photo of you 50 pounds lighter from ten years ago. Don't describe yourself as athletic if you haven't been to the gym in over a year. Remember that it will only cause you to appear deceitful if you're dishonest about how you look or how old you are. You want to be seen for your authentic self, who you really are inside and out, because that's where true love lies.
Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves objectively and we get bogged down about how someone else is going to perceive us. Don't worry about that. Think about what your interests are, the things you're passionate about and the experiences you've had. If you love kayaking, watching movies and metal bands, say so! There's no wrong answer. Love World of Warcraft? Sweet - maybe you'll meet someone who feels the same way!
If you're having trouble typing it up in sentence form on your profile, start with a list. I like to write it down by hand, because somehow, it makes it easier to let the ideas flow. Create your list of interests and then turn that into sentences. For example:
My Interests
Health & Wellness
Art - reading, writing, painting, drawing
Fashion, Beauty & Interior Design
Video games - Mario & Zelda fanatic
My profile could say:
I'm an active woman who likes to stay fit and eat well. I value my health and take good care of myself. With my free time, I enjoy reading and writing, drawing and painting. My other interests include fashion, beauty and interior design. I also love my Wii U video games. My favorites are MarioKart and Zelda!
Don't worry about being too fancy. Just be real, and for crying out loud, use proper grammar. Your potential date shouldn't have to decipher your bizarre emoji prose. Before you know it, you'll have a short but sweet blurb about yourself. Avoid saying too much on your profile. Save something to be discovered by conversing!

The profile picture is crucial. We might be superficial but the reality is that we all want someone who is attractive to us. Your potential date can't tell if they're attracted to you unless you show them your shining face. Here's some tips for choosing an appropriate and flattering photo.
You need to be the only subject of the photo. Its too confusing if they are other people in your pictures. This is where you're supposed to be reflecting YOU, not your bestie or your neighbor.
Your main picture ought to be one in which the viewer can easily see your eyes. I like the mystique of a good old sunglasses selfie, but you shouldn't use that as your main photo. Pick a photo that is flattering, but shows your face clearly.

A head shot works best for your main picture, as full-body shots usually make it more difficult to see your face. Far perspective action shots are cool and a favorite among men. They do have their place on your profile. It's really awesome to see you riding your motorcycle/jet-ski/surfboard from a far, but it doesn't differentiate you from another rider/jet-skier/surfer. Selecting a main picture of you sitting on your bike or board where your face can be easily seen would work much better for your main profile photo. However, there's nothing wrong with including some photos of you doing things that you enjoy, and in fact, it shows how active and fun a person you are. Just be sure to show YOU, not your toys.

Liked this article? Stay tuned for more excerpts from Perpetually Single: How to Get Out of Your Own Way to Find Love, which launches Fall 2015.

Perpetually Single? Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 15:18:00 +0000

If you're single, you've probably uttered one of these reasons why you're not dating. If so, you might want to reconsider your train of thought. Check it out.
"Online dating is desperate."
This is a huge hot button for me because I found the love of my life online and two of my best friends found glorious, loving relationships through online dating as well. Sure, there's a possibility that you might not find what you're looking for, but the same is true of the Target clearance shelf and you still investigate it nonetheless. Sometimes, you have to wade through the weeds to the find the fruit.
Many are ready and willing to date but don't know how to go about meeting other singles. Where might these people turn to find lots of other like-minded individuals? The internet, of course! This is where the vast majority of relationships start, even if some couples think its taboo to admit to having met online. Putting up a modest profile (with an honest but flattering photo) on most any site gives you the opportunity to start looking for a good match. Online dating enables you to select someone based on qualifications like age, location, shared hobbies or career aspirations. You are choosing your ideal match from the catalog of candidates. Brilliant.
"Online dating is dangerous."
So is driving a car. Get over it. Being savvy about who you engage with comes with practice and experience. Be smart about who you meet and how. Always make sure someone else knows your plans and always meet in public.
"Online dating is expensive."
This is true of several of the more popular dating sites. Let's first note that its not near as high as what you're spending on lattes in a month, but it is an unnecessary expense, nonetheless. You don't have to use a pay site to find a good match, though paying for the service of a dating site seems to denote commitment to the concept of finding a real relationship for both parties. However, that's a blanket assumption that idea doesn't take into account that a "relationship" is defined very differently by each individual, and what one calls a serious committed relationship another might say is just a casual fling. Your commitment to finding a compatible match is what matters. Ultimately, you'll know if someone is looking for the real thing and if they're not.
"Online daters are just looking for sex."
Yes. And so are you! Sex is a huge part of the joy of a relationship, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to find that connection with another. Thinking that it's taboo to want to find a sexual partner is just backward when it's literally an instinctual drive of our being. Sure, there are plenty of players who are just looking for their next conquest. It's your job to figure out which ones are just trolling. You'll know if someone is being authentic and serious about looking for a relationship or whether they're just looking for some hanky-panky. The dead give away of the latter is when your communication includes the topic of sex really quickly. Red flag. A respectful, potential mate will not violate such a rigid boundary immediately. You wouldn't meet a stranger and then start speaking completely candidly about sex as part of your first conversation. The same is true of online dating.
"No one will be interested in me."
The universe has a magnificent duality about it. It always balances out the light and dark, the yen and yang. Whatever you are, however you look, I assure you that there is someone out there searching for just that. Let them find you and appreciate you as you are. Don't worry about being rejected. Instead, focus on what you can bring to a relationship. Why would they want to spend their time with you? Because you're freakin' awesome. You are already a work of art as is, so showcase it! (Watch for Creating an Attractive Online Dating Profile coming next week for more tips on how to show off your fabulous self online!)

Loving this post? There's more coming soon. Stay tuned! Don't forget to sign up for the mailing list at www.joannasantanen.com to stay in the loop.

Perpetually Single? Read this.

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 18:25:00 +0000

I have several friends who continually struggle in the area of dating and relationships. It's unfathomable how so many wonderful, loving people can't find or maintain romantic relationships. Granted, we've all had our hearts broken, but some of my dearest friends seem to be completely imprisoned by their fear of being hurt. Or, conversely, they jump into relationships that aren't right for them, just to avoid being single. It seems like a viscous cycle of loneliness and shame I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Sure, these folks (not all of them women) have compelling reasons for why they make the choices they do, whether they're overtly aware of them or not. Unfortunately, many are completely clueless about why they can't seem to find a good match. I have been researching this topic recently, and I have a few theories about what's really happening. I've put together a few reasons why many of us are having such a hard time finding a good mate.
For the Perpetually Single Bachelor/ette who's got a million reasons for their discontented lifestyle, I'm calling you out. You're full of it. Admitting it is the first step towards change.
Here are a few reasons why you're not in a relationship (also to be continued):
"I'm better off alone."
Many folks stay single for YEARS of their prime, all the while wishing they'd find their mate, though they may claim otherwise - c'mon, who doesn't want to be loved? Humans are meant to connect with each other in all ways - mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. They're not single because that's what's best for them. Affection and love is what is best for them, as with all of us. A newborn who is not held will not thrive. Everyone need hugs and cuddles just as much to be happy and healthy. The cat/dog/kid you're snuggling is better off for it, and so are you.
"There's no one I'm interested in."
Really? Seven billion people on this planet and not one of them looks good enough to you?
You've shut yourself down. Your perception has narrowed entirely. You're not in the dating market, anymore. You'll never sell your house if you keep the secret that it's for sale. You'll never fill the position if you don't put out the Help Wanted ad. You'll never get a customer if you don't flip the sign to OPEN. So let it be known that you're available and interested in dating. There is no shame in it. Admitting that you're interested in finding love will lead to opening your perspective to see the potential mates that are literally all around you everyday of your life. The cutie across the coffee shop was totally checking you out while you were focused on your phone, making yourself look too busy to be approached. Damnit.
"I'm waiting to be pursued by someone who's interested in me."
Now, let's talk about our over-idealized and often totally unrealistic concept of how relationships start. For many of us ladies, romantic comedies have given us the idea that the girl that gets the boy is the one who's just doing her own thing, running her own life. She's standoffish and aloof at first. Though it seems to work like a charm in Hollywood, this coy behavior is a major turn-off and will keep you single. The chase is meant to be fun. If you want to be chased, you must GIVE CHASE. You need to seem interested in playing the game, otherwise, there's no point. Aloof behavior gives off the opposite impression, which is all too much discouragement for the timid potential suitor. So, while you're hoping and waiting for someone to approach you, you're acting unapproachable and completely undermining yourself in the process.
"I won't chase a date."
Many are endlessly single because they simply lack the confidence to go after what they want. Though it seems like the enviable position to be the object of desire, taking on the role of the chaser can be just as rewarding. Many women are put off by the concept of pursuing the person they're crushing on. I can understand preferring the passive, but appealing, notion that if so-and-so is interested, they'll come to you. However, if they don't know you exist, how is that going to happen? Taking the initiative to introduce yourself will make a huge difference in the likelihood that one of your new acquaintances, which you have selected as attractive, will come forward to pursue you. Hiding your identity and dating eligibility from others makes it impossible for potential mates to find you! Though it might seem tough at first, once you get the hang of a casual introduction, you'll see that it's the actually the easiest part of the courtship process. Mustering up a "hello, my name is..." is a hell of a lot easier than deciding where to go on a first date, and what to talk about for hours. Start small. Say hi. You can do it!

Queen of Everything

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Wed, 13 May 2015 01:00:00 +0000

Source

Last weekend, my neighbor was having a garage sale. She asked me to put out a few things I'd like to sell, which I decided was a great idea. While I was setting up, we had some early customers. I didn't pay much attention to them as I was focused on the task of presenting my things in an appealing way.

A woman of similar age to me, approached me and instantly knew my name. "JoAnna?" She asked. Admittedly, I was surprised that she knew me, because at first, I didn't recognize her. I am usually able to remember names, regardless of how long ago or how brief the interaction. It's a "skill" left over from being a salesperson, where every person you meet could be your next client.

I took a closer look at her face and discovered I did know her after all. "Katie*?" I asked, realizing that the woman in front of me was a high school classmate, and the daughter of a rather-disliked former employer. Lovely.

Katie had gained a lot of weight since I'd last seen her, and her long skirt and matronly shoes made her appear much older upon initial inspection, which explained why I didn't see who she was when I glanced in her direction. My last impression of Katie was when I heard she had slept with my best friend's boyfriend in our early twenties. In high school, she seemed to think that she was the Queen of Everything in her tight jeans. We weren't friends, only ever acquaintances. Also, I worked for her dad for 18 months after high school, and found out just what an abusive jerk he was. But I figured, first impressions, our parents bad choices and rumors from 15 years ago shouldn't be held against us now that we're adults. That's just juvenile.

I strive to be cordial and polite in all social situations, and this was especially true then, as she was holding a few of my things in her arms when she approached me. I felt our interaction should be that of a buyer and a seller, and at most, former acquaintances because really, that's all we were. Apparently, Katie thought otherwise.

My neighbor teased me for being a social butterfly who seems to know everyone, and we all shared a laugh. I asked how Katie was doing, as is the customary thing to do, and boy, did she answer.

This poor gal has had quite a rough past ten years, as she told me, at length. She spent the better part of half an hour telling me all about her rather-serious health issues, her dad's affair and her parents' subsequent divorce, her kids' struggles. Good Grief! She has had quite a go of it.

I shared a few updates, like "My daughter is ten, and my stepdaughter is fourteen. We bought this house four years ago. I got divorced from my daughter's father seven years ago and it was for the best because I am much happier with my current relationship of the past six years." Suddenly, I'm wondering if I'm the one acting like I'm the Queen of Everything. Should I fuss about my ailing grandparents or my massive student debt, just to be on her level?

I didn't make comment to her appearance, but she mentioned that I looked great, which was kind of her. I told her I am a committed exerciser, but struggle with my diet. Katie complained about her inability to exercise because of her illness, but admitted she knows it would be beneficial. The cycle of too tired to get fit is quite a hurdle, as well I know. I was very heavy in my twenties. Katie knew this about me, and was obviously impressed that I had changed to a much fitter physique. This situation reminded me that I shouldn't be constantly scolding myself for gravitating toward a higher weight than I've previously attained. I should be grateful I'm 30 pounds from ideal, and not 130 pounds from ideal anymore.

I felt somewhat guilty because I suddenly realized that though I struggle in many ways, my life has apparently taken a very different arc than hers. The gap between us was unusually wide. I know we are all prone to complaining about out lives, but this interaction gave me a truly different perspective. I am so grateful I am able to lead such a happy life. I am also grateful to know that it is within my power to create my life the way I want it. I wondered what made me different from Katie?

I don't have all the stars I'm reaching for yet, but I certainly haven't been circling the drain like some of my peers. Whether by our own choices or purely circumstance, shit happens. I see clearly now that life is what you make of it. I once found myself 130+ pounds overweight, in an unhealthy marriage, struggling in every regard of life, and still, crawled back out of that existence into a body with a resting heart rate of 50 beats per minute, a deep and constantly blossoming love, smart and funny kids, and a circle of dear friends and family who I adore. My journey molded me into a strong and capable woman who makes the most of what she has. I hope Katie finds a way to do the same.

Regardless of where I have been, I am truly grateful for the life I'm leading, and the chance to make today even better than yesterday. If that makes me the Queen of Everything, so be it.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of others.

Why I want to be like Carrie Bradshaw

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 22:15:00 +0000

You know who I miss? Carrie Bradshaw. Can I get an amen, ladies?
If you're an American woman, you're probably also a fan of this HBO gem, Sex in the City.
Time passes, we must move on from our savage fandom, but it's still a fantastic show. I don't care how many years ago the pilot was filmed. I still watch it. I still play every slot machine with that theme, without ever winning a dime.
Sex in the City is a stroke of pure genius, one that reflected so much of the challenges women face in the modern world, including all the stuff that happens behind closed doors. Nothing is off limits, but always presented in a way that makes it okay to talk about. The things that most would call taboo are laid out for us in a flippantly honest, but cleverly playful way that isn't offensive. I cheer on the girls when they talk about sex toys as openly as they do fashion. The glamorous New Yorker lifestyle theme helps keep things interesting, too.
I know I'm treading into fanatic territory here, so let me get to my point.
I want to be just like Carrie Bradshaw when I grow up. Never you mind that I'm already thirty-something. She doesn't have to be quite as annoyingly noncommittal though (sorry, its true). If you're not familiar, let me give you a quick rundown of the character:
She is cool, confident, and yet, somewhat self destructive. She's smart, funny, ambitious and articulate. She drinks too much and makes foolish mistakes, but you love her for it because she has so much fun. She fumbles through life like we all do, but she always learns something valuable. She explores many sides of herself and she tries on ten million dresses. Most of those dresses are fucking fabulous, some are tragically not. She has flair and femininity. She's daring, sophisticated and down-to-earth, all at the same time. Her style is a undiluted expression of her creativity as an individual, always original.
She's vulnerable, but never shies away from the chance for a new adventure, especially in matters of the heart. She dares to ask questions that we all wonder, but rarely give much expression to. What's more, she epitomizes the independent career woman, (hello, no 9-5 slavery) while rocking an awesome hairstyle and overly expensive shoes.
Most importantly, she never stops looking for love (and frequently succeeds).
I would like to be able to put my name in place of "she" in that description, wouldn't you? Sure, Carrie is just a character, but she has many attributes that I think most women want (and how about her wardrobe? yes, please!). If Carrie is a reflection of the American woman, I want to be able to successfully take life in stride despite all its ups and downs, while working it in a couture gown. Now, if only I could afford the shoes.

XoXo,
JoAnna

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Tonight's Full Moon

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:35:00 +0000

If you had the pleasure of looking up to the night sky yesterday, you might have noticed that the moon looked full and brilliant. Today marks December's full moon, known to some as the Long Nights Moon. If you don't follow the patterns of the moon, you're not alone. There aren't many of us dorky enough to actually pay attention to something that might be completely unrelated to our day-to-day lives. (or is it?)

Regardless of whether you believe the phases of the moon might be playing a role in your personal rhythm, it lends a beautiful metaphor to the ever changing nature of our lives. Nothing ever stays the same for long. We ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean, or, say, the varying reflection of the sun's rays off a big rock hanging out several million miles from here.

The phases of my life go something like a pendulum swing, rather than the forward force of a locomotive. It's desperately annoying. I take two bold strides forward, but inevitably fall two paces backward quickly thereafter. I strike out to accomplish something then lose my focus or get scared and run away. It's a ridiculous pattern of behavior that leaves me exhausted and never getting anywhere. I've been treading water in nearly every in practically aspect of my life, never really choosing a direct to swim.

I've identified this about myself, so at least there's some opportunity to make improvements, whereas most of us linger in denial about such things. If your life is feeling like a hamster's wheel, I invite you to notice that and CHANGE IT.

This month's full moon means that tomorrow marks the renewal of the cycle, and a chance to create a new pattern for the coming month. Take a few moments out of this busy season to reflect upon yourself and your behavior. If you see something in your life you want to do better, acknowledge that. Decide what you're going to do differently during the next phase and implement those changes to see results. Being on the same arc as the moon just may be the little oomph you need to make some serious improvements in your world. I'm know I'm hoping it is for me.

The most reluctant author, ever

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 20:28:00 +0000

The Most Reluctant Author, Ever.
JoAnna Santanen

I have spent the better part of the past two years running away from being an author. I have backed away from my career in shame, aburptly, and for no apparent reason. Maybe the stacks of form rejection letters from agents and publishers broke my stride or the fact that I haven't had much success in business lead me to believe I wouldn't be successful in publishing. I don't know what really happened. I started making some progress in building my readership, then I just abandoned ship.

When my friends, who are also fans of my work, would mention my novels, I would feel a twinge of grief. I knew I was letting the dream (of being a full-time self-sustaining author) die inside me. The grass is always greener where you water it, but man, I had turned off the sprinkler. I quit writing.

I told myself that I didn't like the aspect of self promotion in indie publishing. I thought that letting people know about my books, which they might even really enjoy, was somehow dirty. I was letting the business of being an indie publisher make me feel like I was being dishonest in some way. I would tell myself that the business had ruined the art.

I hold a damned Business Management Bachelor's degree. Business is my business. I was lying to myself. I was making excuses for my "failure" which hadn't actually occurred. My books weren't raking in the dough, but they were bringing in something, which meant in that regard, they were already a success. That's probably what scared me the most.

I can't just declare that I'm an author and then suddenly, be one, could I? Yes, I could. I wrote a book and published it (two, actually). Is there another definition of author that I'm missing here? No. There isn't. I'm an author and where I was once proud to admit it, I had suddenly become ashamed. I had let myself go so far down the shame spiral, I almost couldn't bear to call myself an author anymore.

It all boils down to self confidence. As with anything, self confidence is key to getting what you want. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, to risk looking like a fool. I was shaken by some changes in my family, my life and my employment. I let my fears overtake my goals. I let my insecurities spread into my work, and though nothing had changed, suddenly I was telling myself that I'm a hack who shouldn't quit my day job (if I actually had one). My negative self-talk bled into my identity (as a person and as an author) and suddenly, I felt like an impostor.

I was a horse who was out to pasture so long I forgot there was a barn I could go back to.

I have a room in my house that's crammed full of art supplies and papers and books. Its my studio & office. I am so lucky to have space that's just for creation. I let it get sullied with a bunch of stuff that shouldn't be there and it stopped feeling like a room of inspiration and more like a storage locker. Yet another obvious resistance to writing, I was treating my work space like a junk drawer.

Last week, I went to the library searching for some inspiration. I picked up the 2015 copy of Writer's Market, even though I already knew I wasn't going to query my work to any publishers or agents anymore. I just wanted to feel a little pride in the idea of being an author. I also grabbed a book about self-publishing. Unlike Writer's Market (which has been sitting on my counter for the past week unopened), that indie publishing book took me by the hand and drug me out of my self-imposed prison. I devoured it. I am a changed woman. (If you're into writing, you MUST READ: Write. Publish. Repeat. by Sean Platt and Johnny B. Truant.)

This book just reminded me that I was doing everything right before. Being an author is a career. One that takes work and perseverance. I have all the skills and I love to write. Though I have neglected my career for more than a year, I don't have to start over. I can pick right up where I had left off. I am back in the driver's seat. I am finding my voice, again, and it feels really good.

Writing blog posts that generate traffic to your website

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 06 Jan 2014 00:00:00 +0000

I recently wrote this article for a local company, but I wanted to share it with those of you are fellow bloggers and writers. If you haven't considered a blog to enhance your writing awareness, you should! Here's a few ways to help generate traffic to your site, regardless of the topic or theme:

Most bloggers seek to generate as much traffic to their site as possible, in the interest of increasing readership of their blog and other works, or to generate income from advertising. Many strategies exist to accomplish the goal of driving visitors to one’s blog. This article will examine a few of the many elements necessary to write a successful, click-encouraging blog post.

One of the paramount elements of blog posting is the relevance to one’s target audience. A masterpiece will not likely produce much excitement if the topic is incompatible with one’s readership. Often the most successful blogs are ones that have a specific theme or topic. For example, a post about life insurance wouldn’t entice many if the readers are generally teenagers, who have no need for such a product. Understanding what people are interested in reading will help identify inviting topics for the audience to enjoy. Reading popular blogs will demonstrate which articles are generating the most “likes” or comments, in order to identify what readers are responding to most. Another way to determine topics to write about is by researching news, trending keywords on web search engines, and social media buzz.

In addition to relevance, one’s work post needs to be informative and accurate. A well written post will include some research, even if the post is mere opinion. The reason for researching accuracy is if the potential reader finds the information unfounded, the post may not create traffic. Enlightening posts will contain some facts in order to substantiate one’s opinion, and create validity for the reader.

Another element of the traffic-generating blog post is the photo. Pictures are an absolutely necessary accessory to the writing. Not only do photos aid the reader in quickly and easily identifying the topic of the post, the image will be an aid in search engine relevance. Keywords are just as important with images as they are with articles. A Google search for “avoiding tooth decay” will render results that include pictures of teeth, but also floss, toothpaste, toothbrushes and other related images.

Apart from writing a tempting, relevant and accurate post, one must consider announcement of its arrival on one’s blog. Once the post is active, one must inform potential readers of its presence. Posting links on social media web sites and community message boards and sending emails to subscribers and associates are essential ways to alert potential readers of the new post. Generating initial awareness of the post is the responsibility of the author, because even the best post will not produce traffic if no one knows about it.

Bloggers who understand the elements essential to compelling readers to visit their site will have a greater likelihood of accomplishing their goal. A thorough post that is interesting, informative and coupled with an image will have a greater chance of increasing the number of visitors it generates. The better a post is constructed and announced, the greater likelihood of clickable success.

Bohemian Style Obsession

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Sat, 12 Oct 2013 01:43:00 +0000

Photo Credit: Funkyblackowl.blogspot.com

Hello my lovelies! Thanks for popping in!

Recently, I've become pretty infatuated with the bohemian style. Looking back, I've always been a little bit hippie, if only in an underlying way. I'm crafty & artsy, with a particular affinity for tie-dye & turquoise. I'm even dressing as a boho-hippie for my Halloween costume this year, if that's the only way I can get away with it. I find it fairly amusing that I am calling it a costume, when really, its just a style I want to infuse more into my wardrobe without too much overhaul of what I already own. I have some reservations about allowing my style to migrate towards the offbeat, and here's why.

The difficulty I have with going full-on boho myself is the negative stigma that has been (rather unfairly) attached to the style. I mean, what's so bizarre about a crochet sweater? A long skirt? Or a sun hat? I really can't figure out why some might see a women dressed a certain way, (we'll call it a hippie, if we must) and assume she's an idiot or unclean. I'll never understand some folks' discrimination tendencies. Call me crazy but I believe in accepting others as they are, not as I want them to be so that they fit into some preconceived mold.

Another aspect that is holding me back is the inclination towards showing so much (too much) skin. I feel like the body is a beautiful thing, but that beauty doesn't need to be shown off to everyone. I'm sure that I can get around it, but generally, I see boho style dresses as being meant for thin women that have no issue with overexposure (hello, sheer fabric...). I strive to be healthy and lose weight, but the reality is, regardless of whether I'll ever arrive at the weight I want, I will always be a bit modest. Am I alone here?

The last issue I'm struggling with this the handmade nature of a lot of the fashion and accessories. Mainstream clothes are simply too mainstream to be bohemian, and so that lays the necessity to create one's own clothing, which is dreadfully time consuming and difficult if you're not blessed with excellent sewing skills. Thank goodness for sites like Etsy, where handmade items are easy to come by, albeit maybe not so affordable. I suppose I should be checking out the farmer's markets for handmade things to add to my collection.

What are your thoughts on the bohemian style? Love it or lose it?

Follow me all over the web: Twitter @joannasantanen1, Facebook joanna.santanen, Pinterest jojo728, Google+ joannasantanen, Instagam joanna728

Happy Reading!

XoXo- JoAnna

I'm baaaack!

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 24 Sep 2013 01:56:00 +0000

Hi There!
Welcome (back)!

Admittedly, I took a few months off of my writing. I needed the break for my brain and my typing hands. I have been enjoying my sabbatical, but missing the creativity, fun & passion that writing is for me. During my down time, I explored some other interests of mine and sparked a desire to entertain the notion of nonfiction writing. The first effort toward that end is a new blog - Love and Long Lashes. My new blog will center around many women's interest subjects including makeup, skin care, hair, style, decor, arts & crafts, weight loss & fitness, relationships and more. I'm still working on new content but it will be packed full of cool posts very soon!

As for Abstract, my intentions for this blog will remain an examination of topics like psychology, critical thinking & human behavior. I hope to update this blog at least a few days a week, and even more frequently on Love & Long Lashes.

In addition to my blogs, I intend to finish Under The Maple Tree (stillllllllllll...) and begin a nonfiction book that will reflect many of the same topics as my new blog. More on that idea as soon as it takes shape. :)

Follow me all over the web: Twitter @joannasantanen1, Facebook joanna.santanen, Pinterest jojo728, Google+ joannasantanen, Instagam joanna728

Happy reading!

JoAnna

Letter from the Swedish Necrophiliac!

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Thu, 02 May 2013 21:23:00 +0000

Back in January, I wrote a post about necrophiliac woman in western Sweden. http://abstractbyjoannasantanen.blogspot.com/2013/01/necrophilia.html
Read the Local News story here: http://www.thelocal.se/44536/#.UQHkLx3O1sF
Yesterday, I received an email (through my author site: www.joannasantanen.com) from a woman claiming to be the offender in question, though there's really no way to verifying her identity because her name was not released. Of course, I'm skeptical that she's the actual woman who was charged in Sweden. I hope that she is considering I have so many questions about her condition and the events surrounding her arrest, but the likelihood is slim. I am conducting an investigation, but I felt it was worth a post regardless of whether the email was from the "Swedish Necrophiliac" or not. Bearing that in mind, I'd like to relay some of the thoughts she felt compelled to share (again, this could just be someone looking to create a hoax, but if not, it's pretty fascinating).

The woman, Helena, 37, wrote a letter which was surprisingly well-mannered. I would have expected her words to be more seething, especially considering she was trying to set me straight about how these events completely destroyed her life. As one can imagine, the news media exploded regarding this bizarre story of a woman who not only possessed human remains, but was discovered to have used the bones to pleasure herself. The absolute repulsion of the story doesn't negate international intrigue. Helena describes in her somewhat broken English how the media and police & law officials obliterated her entire life including her relationship (she goes so far as to indicate that she is a lesbian, and prefers LIVING women) and her freedom.

Helena claims to have spent 97 days in isolation during her jail time. Helena does not elude as to why she was in isolation, but one can imagine that the nature of her crime might beget her some flack from the general population. Isolation may have simply been a way of protecting her while she served her time. She states that the prosecutor was seeking prison time, but the murder and necrophilia charges against her were dropped. She goes on to say that the prosecution is attempting to seek a higher court, but does not have much evidence on her because they were unable to retrieve material from her encrypted hard drives. I can only imagine what's on those. (Pause for dramatic Yuck! here.)

Though she does not deny her actions in terms of her "use" of the human remains, she doesn't explain her motivations either. She simply says that she is trying to change her ways, but has been involved in the black market and profiting from death for so long that she is struggling to find another way. (Get a job?)

Helena closed her email by saying that she is "stronger than ever" because of this ordeal. She admits that now that she has lost everything, she is fearless and doesn't have anything more to lose. I suppose I can applaud that particular revelation, but it doesn't excuse her reprehensible actions or absolve her from the responsibility of buying and selling human remains on the black market. This story begs the question: how does one even acquire such items? Grave robbing? Thievery from hospitals? Dismemberment? Murder?

I will update my blog once I have had a chance to conduct some more research regarding this story and the origin of the email. I am assuming that this individual may just be a bored necrophiliac who had combed the internet for material regarding their fascination and happened upon my blog post. However, if it turns out the email is truly from the actual Swedish woman mentioned in the news, I will be ecstatic to interview her. I might even write her story for my next project. A good friend of mine offered up this title: Bad to the Bone: The True Crime Story of the Swedish Necrophiliac. Hilarious! :)

Official Blog Tour Sites

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:44:00 +0000

April 16, 2013
Guest Article: Character Development
Read it at: www.deedoanes.com

April 17, 2013
Guest Article: Bad Boy Magnetism
Read it at: http://quietfurybooks.com/blog/2013/04/bad-boy-magnetism
April 18, 2013
Article: How to Follow Your Dreams
Read it at: http://share-ask.com/self-improvement/how-to-follow-your-dreams-in-life/5024/

April 19, 2013
Article: The Importance of Prewriting
Read it at: www.blogguests.com/the-importance-of-prewriting

April 20, 2013
Article: Self-Publishing for Business People
Read it at: www.cwa-europe.com

April 21, 2013
Article: Creating a (almost) Free Marketing Strategy for Your Writing
Read it at: www.sellingbooks.com

I'm going on tour!

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:48:00 +0000

I'm embarking on my first tour - blog tour, that is! I have been writing my little heart out on all kinds of topics from writing to business to relationships. It's been great to write articles for other blogs and websites and I'm honored to have the opportunity to contribute. I'm hoping that my insights will be well received and readers will enjoy what I have to say.

I will post an official tour directory over the course the next few days in order to make the posts accessible from my blog as well. I won't duplicate the topics on my own blog (which I call Abstract) as original content is important to me, so the only way to read the various articles will be through the links I provide.

Once my blog tour is over, I will return to more timely posting on Abstract. I apologize for my lack of new posts! As always, life gets pretty busy and I often find there simply isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done!

My tour will be 4/15-4/22 and I will return to posting regularly on Abstract the first part of next week. Until then, I hope everyone is having a beautiful & abundant Spring!

No time to waste

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 18:53:00 +0000

I am sure that I am not alone when it comes to letting the little things in life bog me down and prevent me from focusing on what really matters. Who has so much disposable time that they can watch a 3 hour long episode of The Bachelor or spend countless hours posting inspirational quotes and funny memes on Facebook? I sure as hell don't. My list of things to do usually includes such necessities as never-ending laundry and scrubbing the bathrooms. I am constantly busy but never feel like I am getting things done on the grander scale. Why is it so hard to prioritize my tasks to bring about the big picture outcome? Does it really matter if there's dishes in the sink when I'm right in the middle of writing a novel that has been waiting for my attention for months?
I struggle with the fact that it seems like my mundane to-do list takes over my time and prevents me from making progress in my chosen path. I am so distracted by all the things I tell myself that I should do that I don't stop and think about all the things I could do.
I have high standards and a high purpose. I do not have time for meaningless distractions that are counterproductive. My goals are lofty and my desire to accomplish those goals is strong. I spend far too much time and energy on the things that don't help me and neglect the things that do.
I frequently run away from my dreams and aspirations, if only to prevent an inevitable confrontation with the possibility that I am not good enough, or worse - that I am. My fear of success is just as strong, if not stronger, than my fear of failure. We all fail - that's expected. Not everyone succeeds at achieving their goals. In fact, very few do; which makes them inherently special. My feelings about my self worth are a constant deliberation with the proverbial angel on my right and devil on my left. It seems terribly presumptuous to decide that I'm so special that I can make whatever life I chose a reality.
But is it? If I choose to get a different job with better pay, it wouldn't be some kind of miracle. It would be going after something I want, and doing whatever is necessary (applying, interviewing) to make it happen. If I decided I wanted to move across the country, I would save up to make the trip. I would line up a new place and a new job before I went. Again, nothing miraculous about seeing those plans through to fruition.
Ultimately, what prevents me from seeing my aspirations come to life and become my new reality is a combination of a lack of time and inadequate time management. There are many ways to prioritize my efforts to accomplish all the things I want to in life, but it requires my concentrated effort. Maybe if I put getting organized on the top of my to-do list, I can make each minute I have more productive towards the end of seeing my wishes become my new reality.

Necrophilia

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:00:00 +0000

Recently trending online is a story from Sweden of a woman who was arrested and charged with disrupting the peace of the dead. You can read the news story here: http://www.thelocal.se/44536/#.UQHkLx3O1sF
The woman in the story was not suspected of murder despite evidence that she was, shall we say, intimate, with her bone collection. Her affliction is necrophilia. Merriam-Webster defines necrophilia as, "obsession with and usually erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses (Merriam-Webster, Para. 1)."
However twisted this may seem to the average non-necrophiliac, her condition compelled her to do god-knows-what with the bodies and bones in her possession. Does that excuse it? Certainly not.
Despite its obscurity, I'm desperately curious about her case. She had to know on some level that her actions were reprehensible. Bone-lover that she is, she was still declared competently sane by a psychologist to stand trial. The means she knew right from wrong, and did it anyway.
What could have happened to this poor woman, in order for her mind to take that deep plunge into necrophilia? Was this condition hereditary or was she catastrophically abused in her youth? Was she exposed to death at an early age, thus associating sexual development with corpses? Only she could tell you, but I have my better guesses.

I could go dive into a mountain of research and psychosexual theory but let's boil it all down to this: the woman in question should have found a legal (and less disgusting) means of gratifying herself. Maybe then she wouldn't be looking at years in jail over getting her jollies.

Traveling

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 17:53:00 +0000

Some people hate to travel while others love it. I am one of the latter, but I despise waiting around for a flight. I suppose my car has given me a travel-on-demand attitude towards going anywhere. There comes a moment in your life when you realize that your self-oriented, hedonistic thinking slaps you in the face when you've missed your flight because you just couldn't be so inconvenienced as to wait at the gate for a lengthy spell. I am paying dearly for my error, as I sit at the gate for three times the length of time I would have if I had arrived early enough. Lesson learned. I won't be making this mistake again.

Peacock

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 01:14:00 +0000

If a peacock's plumage is meant for attracting a mate, what do men do to lure a woman with their lack of beautiful feathers?

As a woman and psychology enthusiast, I am intrigued by the behavior men use to impress or allure women. There seems to be a specific formula men use in order to present themselves in a positive light and make themselves stand out from the crowd. Women tend to make the general assumption that men are primarily interested in looks, so we flirt with hair flipping, lip biting and showing more of our skin. Men operate in an altogether different fashion. Men seem to "peacock" by boasting about their income, education, career, stability, possessions, or their prestige/status level. I have had plenty of conversations with men who have told me their income level immediately, and I'm continually surprised by this divide between men and women.
Women don't shake hands with a man and announce their fiscal revenue. Truthfully, disclosing my wealth (or lack thereof) never crosses my mind regardless of the company I keep. As a woman, it is generally not the quality by which I measure my worth or my level of attraction to the opposite sex. (Now, the scale, that's a different story...) I wonder, do men tell each other what they make as a matter of course? Would two strangers, both men, sitting at the bar, drinking beer and watching the game, talk about their annual gross income? Doubtful, but hey, maybe they do. I wouldn't know; I'm not allowed in the boys' club.
Though it may be easy to surmise that men think that women are only interested in a man's prosperity, this is, of course, no more true than a man being fixated entirely on a woman's looks rather than her personality as well (or her income, education, career, possessions, stability, etc.). I think many women would agree that the confidence that men exude when showboating is attractive, even if its shocking that they would be so forthcoming with their personal information. That being said, I don't see how else a man would let you know how stable or financially sound he is unless he just came right out with it. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, we are all wired to do what's natural to attract a mate. A peacock fans his feathers out, and man opens his proverbial wallet. Its the different means to the same end, whether man or animal.

Self Acceptance

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 04:59:00 +0000

In this culture of overly aggressive sexuality in the media, why is it still shameful for women to be open about their sexual identity? (Um, has anyone else noticed that female pop singers, in particular, no longer wear anything other than leotards?) Sure, there's the 'he's a stud, she's a slut' double standard, but regardless of that stigma, there's still some deeply held beliefs about female sexuality (as in my case, female author's persona, but really its an every-woman issue) that I feel should fade into oblivion along with the quill and inkwell of centuries past.
It doesn't matter what other people tell you, whether it's men wanting you to let it all hang out, only to put you down for being easy, or the women scorning you for letting your sexuality show too overtly instead of hiding it for only your lover to see behind closed doors. Under it all (regardless of religious teachings), each of us are nothing more than animals who have an inherent need to touch and be touched. A baby will not survive if never held and that translates into our sexual identities as we age and reach maturity. Being human means needing to be touched, loved, and to make connections (emotional and physical) with others. There's nothing shameful about that at all. That being said, why is it taboo for anyone (especially women) to let that part of their identity show?
I don't mean broadcasting your private relationship. True love should be cherished and kept between lovers alone. This world doesn't need another Pamela and Tommy Lee video (though others may disagree). I am speaking of the desire to embrace every aspect of who I am, even if it's not the most socially acceptable thing to do. I think I will be much happier if I just let that all go. I want to be free. I want to be a sultry and sensuous woman, and have that not mean I'm a whore or trashy or having little to no moral values. I want to be comfortable in my own skin, regardless of others' opinions. I long to be who I am, unencumbered and unashamed.

A new Renaissance

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:07:00 +0000

Tomorrow is the last day of the Mayan calendar. Radicals are calling it the end of the world trying to whip us into a frenzy. This simple fact has led many people down the road of mass hysteria. Some of which have let their twisted minds give them the audacity to do unspeakable things in their panic. I am horrified by these events, as are the rest of us. This paragraph is all I will allot for those nefarious demons before I move on to the real matter at hand.

The end of one era leads to the start of another. The closing of this age, the chapter of time in which we have all been born and grown, seen so many joyful moments and far too many tragedies, opens up something beautiful and heavenly. A clean slate ripe with opportunity to try again, to start fresh.

A blessed beginning. The world anew. The end of the Mayan calendar means we are moving out of this dark age and into a golden age. The Crusades were followed by the Renaissance. I believe that we are experiencing the same chance for enlightenment. I plan to take full advantage of this spectacular endeavor, and I hope everyone else does the same.

School of Athens by Raffael

Back to Maple Tree...

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 18:59:00 +0000

I haven't had much time to work on my blog or novel writing lately and I am looking forward to getting back to it. I have so many ideas that I am excited to get to work on. First, I am trying to finish Under the Maple Tree before I move on to something else. It's sometimes hard to resist the lure of another idea that would be fun to write, but I would rather have another completed novel than several unfinished stories. Starting another project before the last is completed will only delay my progress so I will just have to keep plugging along until Maple Tree is finished/edited/published. Only then will I allow myself to begin working on another story. I am considering changing directions entirely on my next book, maybe not involving psychology at all. I write this specific niche that I seem to have a special affection for - psychological thrillers involving mental illness. It's not something that I originally thought would be my favorite genre, but creative forces often lead me down paths I didn't set out to travel. (The same is true for my paintings and drawings.) I don't dwell too long on my ideas or intentions because ultimately, my creativity will produce something entirely different anyway.

Apart from the creative aspect of writing novels, the business end is very important to me. In order for me to share my novels, I have to promote them. I haven't had much time to do this either. I am hoping that if I refocus my efforts, I can spread the word about my novels. I am slowly building a readership, but I feel that there a lot more people (women, particularly) that will enjoy my writing. I am currently working on creating video trailers for my books in order to showcase my stories to people who have not had the chance to investigate my novels. Hopefully the videos will help me promote my work, and be fun to watch too!

I will keep updating my blog with my progress on Under the Maple Tree though at this point, I'm looking at a release date estimation of February at the earliest. I was hoping to finish it sooner, but it's better to have a well-thought-out book than a rushed one! I just hope my readers will like it once it's finally published!

Piercing Evil Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 02:05:00 +0000

Piercing evil eyes
staring from across the street
watching, waiting, stalking
from a dark corner's retreat

Plotting his game
she has no clue he's there
hunting, planning
he can't wait to give her a scare

The time has come
he loves the chase
he grabs her just to let her go
so she'll set the pace

She cries out
her footsteps pound
she can't get away
he takes her down

He turns her over
terrified, her voice is shrill
he covers her mouth

his heart pounds from the thrill

He won the race
he has his prize
Another victim
to cut down to size

He is sick
he is wrong
he needs to stop
he can't for long

Lock him up
throw away the key
keep us all safe
from his reign of misery.

Water Balloon

noreply@blogger.com (JoAnna Santanen) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:24:00 +0000

Love is a water-filled balloon.

The pricks of an anonymous needle cause it to spring a few leaks, but it is not beyond repair.

The number of holes will determine the likelihood of love's bursting into nothing but shreds of what it once was.

Affection and adoration are draining out through the small punctures, a little at a time.

Don't let it empty, just hoping not to rip the thinning barrier.

Plug the holes and pray that it holds strong.

There's too much to lose to let it pop.