Today's Joke

ABCDEFG

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:38:00 +0000

An aunty saw a young couple. The girl asked the boy: "What's the meaning of ABCDEFG?"

The boy answered: "A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls."

The aunty felt so sweet and when she arrived home, she asked her husband: "What do u think about me?"

The husband answered: "ABCDEFGHIJK"

Aunty felt so surprised and asked the husband what did it mean.

The husband replied: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, and Gorgeous & Hot!"

Aunty was confused and asked: "What about I, J, K???"

Husband replied: "I'm Just Kidding!"

Boss Hidden Meanings Employee Should Know

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 06 May 2011 13:07:00 +0000

1."We will do it" means: "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means: "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means: "We have not yet started working on the same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means: "Its not getting done "At least
not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide, I am very open to views" means: "I have
already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miss-communication" means: "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means: "I have no time now, will talk later"

8."We can always do it" means: "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the
deadline" means: "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion" means: "We had actually fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means:
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means: "Well even if you told me earlier
that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means: "Well I will tell you where your
fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the
work is not affected," means: "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means: "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means: "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means: "You are in trouble"

Learn english, this is why!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 01:50:00 +0000

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation
training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, "When you shake hand with President
Obama, please say 'How are you?'. Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and
you?' Now, you should say 'Me too'. Afterward we, translators, will do the work
for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said 'Who are you?' (Instead of 'How are
you?'.)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm
Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'Me too, ha-ha...'

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

20 Hilarious School Exam Answers

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 15:20:00 +0000

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Whats Good, Bad Worse!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 17:30:00 +0000

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can`t find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You`re in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He`s a cross dresser
Worse: He looks better than you

Good: Your son`s finally maturing
Bad: He`s involved with the woman next door
Worse: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Worse: With corrections

Good: Your wife`s not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Worse: She`s a lawyer

Good: You get into bed, and she`s feeling horny tonight.
Bad: You are drunk, and are feeling tired.
Worse: You forgot her mother is staying over, and you`ve entered the wrong room.

Stupidity

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:46:00 +0000

Bedsheet 4 boys

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 17:52:00 +0000

Funny asian

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 17:03:00 +0000

Extreme examples of laziness

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:07:00 +0000

Mind reading

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 18:08:00 +0000

Funny Drawings

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 13:19:00 +0000

Funny Exam Answers

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:42:00 +0000

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal
cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Breakfast change during years after wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 14:50:00 +0000

1st year

2nd Year & 3 year

4rd year & 5 year

After 10 years

After 20 years

After 25 years

Trial software...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 16:48:00 +0000

Strange and Funny Road Signs

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 17:25:00 +0000

Pictures taken from just the right angle...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:26:00 +0000

FOR SURE--Timing and composition is everything !

20 Rules in any office

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 15:57:00 +0000

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...

12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .

16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

,

Women And Cars

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 13:18:00 +0000

A Man With The Biggest Cock

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:23:00 +0000

The worst job in the world

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 16:38:00 +0000

So you think you have the worst job in the world. Think again!!

Young Me Vs Now Me

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 17:36:00 +0000

Angle tricks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 16:50:00 +0000

Different Types Of Pussy.. (Only for ADULT)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 16:44:00 +0000

Different Types Of Pussy..

DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU ARE MINOR
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MBA vs. B.E., Student

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 07:16:00 +0000

A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

The BE asks, "What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

Funny Animals

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:15:00 +0000