paint, poems and ponderings

A wonderful trip

2009-07-15T08:06:00.004-04:00

Here is the poem I wrote for the writer's group.

PLUMS

Too often I see a plum as a lemon
though I love lemons,
the antibiotic juice, the color,
the shape in my hand.

When I learn that someone else desires
that which I desire
my laissez-faire attitude dissolves.
I salivate, taste the sweetness
of the plum, long for its juice and
grainy flesh.
Still wary, my tongue holds back the pit.

Then, my trimmed nails sharpen into claws,
my teeth gnaw the pit which I spit into my hand
ready to plant in the soil.
Is this greed?
Does it matter who wins the plum?
Does it matter what catalyst to action at last
propels me?
Loved being on the Cape. Didn't buy a house. Had a fun time with D. and K. walking the beaches, preparing for a dinner party, zipping around the back roads in a Masda Miata with the top down.

So many blessings.

Top two photos: Osterville, Mass. Third: bowl of veggies for the dinner party

Random thoughts

2009-07-09T06:38:00.002-04:00

Lovely flowers on this property. The homeowners return tonight. I will stay through Sunday and attend a writer's group on Friday night.

In Bourne, next door to 217 where I lived for 20 years, the town has turned a vacant lot into the entry to walking trails in the conservation land behind the house. So lovely. You know I lived in the house for so many years yet never walked on those trails.!

I may have said already, but the house was purchased by an old home renovator from Western Mass. He is slowly turning this into a lovely house. I am so thrilled to see the progress. The inside needed mega work. It was built in 1779.

A carved tree stump at a local cafe where I met my friends to chat. The weather has turned chill and overcast again. Blessings and thanks for everyone's comments. Suki

Marsh low, marsh high

2009-07-03T10:47:00.003-04:00

Outside the window I watch the waters ebb and flow, rise and fall. Marsh low.

With the full moon (I think) the high marsh water tide was very high. This is approximately the same view as above.

Otherwise:

found a house in excellent condition

yard also pristine and beautifully landscaped by owner

price doable

size 1000 square feet, also doable

saw twice, once with a friend who said "You will have to decide if you can live with the highway sounds."

Yes, very close by is a four lane highway going between the bridge and Falmouth. Especially busy this time of year. Also the house itself rests on a fairly busy road, with fast going cars which are entering the highway.

Gave realtor the earnest money check to hold. Filled out offer forms with realtor but did not sign. Took back to where I am staying to sleep on it. Chose NOT to continue with the offer process.

Wonder at myself and my cowardice. Think traffic noise not a good excuse for not proceeding forward. This is what I did before. I can always find a reason not to proceed. Well, I got farther than I have so far. :) HAPPY JULY 4th to all those who celebrate the holiday.

More from Cape Cod

2009-06-29T07:45:00.004-04:00

Rain, rain, rain. I've only worn my shorts on the one sunny day a few days ago. Oh well. I love looking down through the water at the life going on below.

North Falmouth beach area. Thanks to everyone for your comments on yesterday's post. Part of my house problem is not just the prices but my reluctance to commit to anything. Is it a wonder I am not married??

A lovely tree in my host's yard. Meanwhile though I have narrowed my choices down to two ranch style houses one on the upper Cape and one on the mid/lower Cape.

Beautiful small lilies. My offers would be very low so most likely they won't be accepted. But I suppose it would be good for me to make the step anyway. I am taking today to meditate on the matter.

glorious Cape Cod

2009-06-27T07:41:00.002-04:00

I arrived last Friday (not yesterday) to stay for a few days on the Upper Cape where I lived from 1978-2005. Everywhere I went I ran into friends and folks I know. Here is one!

This ferry is returning from the Vineyard. My friend C and I were eating dinner on the dock at some picnic tables. Fried clams. Yum.

a fishing vessel on return home. I stayed one night in a B and B. Delightful and the owner was lovely. Then two nights with friend C. We drove by a number of houses for sale. We called the listing Realtor about a condo in downtown Falmouth but....$259,000!! Plus the $300/month fee. The realtor came right out to show it to us though, and it was nice but goodness....and these are the down prices.

The harbor in North Falmouth. Then on last monday I drove down cape to my friend D's. I am here alone house and cat sitting in a gorgeous home on the water. I have looked at two homes for sale down here. On Friday I drove back to the upper cape and looked at five houses. Some cute places but the prices are still getting me down frankly. That's the fact I have to accept. To be on the Cape will cost lots more than to remain in New Hampshire. OK after days of rain the sun is out and it is Saturday. I'm off to a few yard sales. Talk to you soon. Suki

Leaving soon

2009-06-17T13:27:00.002-04:00

I'll be leaving for the Cape on Friday morning, so will pack up the computer on Thursday to take along. Maybe I can check in on a few blogs while there. I'll be gone a little over 2 weeks. Be well, suki

Daisy

2009-06-16T11:50:00.001-04:00

For TeriC. This is the only daisy around here. Are they weeds as Cris mentioned the other day? I don't know but they seem to grow wherever they want to including the fields.

foxgloves

2009-06-15T08:36:00.002-04:00

Do foxes wear gloves? These flowers and herbs returned to my garden this year so I relented and weeded and tidied the area up. I had planned to ignore it this year.

Such lovely bells. I bought these two foxgloves last year.
Mom planted this lupine years ago.
Pains in neck and shoulder plus overdoing Realtor.com have led me to be absent from my blog for awhile. Weather is dark and damp with sun sometimes at the end of the day.

Girlfriends round robin

2009-06-11T10:19:00.005-04:00

I forgot to take a picture of my own book which Karen now has. But here is my addition to Mim's book with the House theme. I thought the photo of the woman climbing in the window was perfect. As you can see I cut out the windows and door. Behind the door is another photo.
This shows how I attached it to Mim's page, with green ribbon on the back.

I liked my little cut out house so much that I made one in my journal that I've been working on for some time now.

The opposite page. Neither page is completed yet.

This house also has cut out windows and door and is a shaped page, just as the one for Mim's book was.

Cordwainer revealed

2009-06-11T01:15:00.001-04:00

As of 4 pm yesterday no one had guessed it right. A cordwainer makes shoes and other items from soft leather. The word originates from Cordoba Spain and cordovan leather. For those of you who live in London you can see a Cordwainer statue on Watling Street which was part of the cordwainer district. See a picture of this statue and learn more here. Also, until 2000 there was a London cordwainer school now incorporated into another fashion insitute. Here is an official cordwainer website.

There is also a science fiction writer named Cordwainer Smith.

What is a Cordwainer?

2009-06-10T07:41:00.002-04:00

I saw this little historical building by the roadside. Isn't it cute.

Without looking it up, see if you can guess what a cordwainer is. I thought it had something to do with weaving. I will provide the answer tomorrow.

All the way from the Netherlands and Massachusetts

2009-06-06T09:43:00.003-04:00

A wonderful surprise arrived the other day from Marianne. Three ATC's, two notecards, a Sjimmie book mark, stickers. Wow. My spirits lifted as I saw all these beautiful artworks. Thanks Marianne.
Here is a peek at the book page Mim sent me for the girfriends round robin book adventure. I am almost finished with my addition. It has been such fun working on it. Thanks Mim.

Enclosed with the book page was one of Mim's special cards.

working the fields

2009-06-04T08:03:00.002-04:00

It's that time of year again. The local farmer, who plants my brother's fields, arrived with his big machinery the other day. Here you can see the difference between cut and uncut and how tall this whatever it is is.
I think it is so wonderful that my family set up this association with Putnam's. No money in it for our family, but I know my Dad loved it that the fields were put to use.
Spring and early summer, so lovely.

A heart felt thank you to everyone

2009-05-30T12:15:00.004-04:00

Wow, I am stunned and touched by everyone's reflections on my last post. Especially since I've been moaning about this for months now.

So much caring and good ideas were put forth.

I feel buoyed up and ready to continue this journey. I wonder what will evolve???

pictures: a wild iris growing in an old trough beside the barn
chives
rhododendron esp for Roxanne who last year asked me to take photos of it

So lovely

2009-05-27T09:33:00.002-04:00

The poppies are starting to bloom. Delicious. Remember everyone to press the petals once the poppy has gone by. They are gorgeous.

Today and the next few days are full of rain.! That's okay, it's kind of comforting, a cloak enclosing the land. Everything looks so green and bright.

Saturday Arts Tour

2009-05-26T07:57:00.005-04:00

On Saturday I went to Bellows Falls for a tour of some art studios. I forgot to take pictures of the studios, really I don't like to ask. But took a few shots of Bellows Falls. This old station is still active.

The canal that flows into and out of the Connecticut River. One artist I met collects driftwood that gathers at the bottom of a close by waterfall and makes sculptures out of it. She lives in New York city and only comes here once in awhile to collect wood. A newspaper reporter was talking with her when I entered her studio and he wrote down my name and a quote from me.

Another view of the canal which has many bridges over it, most of them not used anymore. I also saw some lovely charcoal drawings by an artist whose work I have seen before. The small ones were $250. I was tempted, but resisted.

Another train station building. In a large warehouse used for the Great River Arts Institute classes and also used by a glassblower I saw pottery, portraits and abstract paintings on display.

I stopped in a cafe for a panini and snapped this view across the street. He put too much hot mustard on the panini so I only ate half the sandwich.

There is a building in which artists can live and work in this block. There I saw a jewelers studio. She makes incredible jewelry based on ocean creatures. These are hugely labor intensive and sell for megabucks. She explained so beautifully her process and loved talking about her work.

PS to anyone who might wonder if I could live in the artists residence, I think my asset level would bar me. You have to apply, I think it is subsidized housing.

The Old Man in the Mountain

2009-05-23T07:49:00.002-04:00

A surprise came in the mail yesterday from Mim. My very own Miss Em ATC card!!! Here is Miss Em wearing the famous red heart necklace gazing at the old man in the mountain, a New Hampshire landmark now gone.

Mim also included an apple card, I do love apples Mim, and Miss Em was enclosed in a tiny envelope with herself on the front! Mim, thanks so much. I think I'll put Miss Em in my car as a good luck token of which I have a # in my car.

For those of you who don't know about the old man in the mountain, it was a rock formation at Franconia Notch in New Hampshire. In 2003 the rocks collapsed so the old man is gone. Pictures here.

Encaustic II

2009-05-20T08:10:00.004-04:00

This was my bed at Snow Farm. You had to bring your own linens so I just brought my sleeping bag. Heat came from a plug in heater. On the first night my roommate slept quietly, but on the second night she snored continually and made funny sounds which apparently came from sleep apnea. By one pm I couldnt bear it any longer, dragged my sleeping bag out into the rainy night and slept in my car. After this I will request a single room. But hey, it was an adventure.
Encaustics are painted on boards because the wax gets heavy and cracks if you paint on canvas. Debbie, the teacher, brought stacks of pre-cut boards for those of us who wanted to buy them from her. Her dear son cut them. The paints were provided in the lab fee. This one I ruined by trying to lay on a glaze, but i can scrape areas down and redo.
You scrape away layers of wax with a razor blade and other tools, kitchen tools, dental tools etc. This is incomplete.
Some of the others created lovely, smooth wax surfaces but try as I might mine always came out lumpy and bumpy.

This was a collage with a layer of clear wax over it. I have been doing wax collage for awhile at home so this was no sweat. I brought the collage materials with me.
This too is unfinished. My encaustic pictures all look like my regular paintings to me. I hoped to do something different and sophisticated but oh well. It was so fun to create with others around me. Many talented artists participated and two were there for the second time.

The night of my arrival I had dinner with my friend L who lives near Snow Farm. I brought a quiche to share with her and saw the gorgeous house she built a few years ago. As I entered her house she said, "You are brave." I was touched she acknowledged this. I did feel brave somehow. All day thursday I was anxious and nervous as I drove to Williamsburg and left this little cocoon where I have been living. I felt brave too to drive the back roads to find L's house. Of course, we are all brave. Brave to do life and change and create and be steady and live.

Encaustic Painting at Snow Farm

2009-05-19T16:15:00.005-04:00

I've been away for 4 days. I took a three day workshop at Snow Farm: The New England Craft Program in western Massachusetts. Here is one of the barns at Snow Farm. I was quite taken with the fence/trellis made of old bicycles.
Our teacher, Debbie Nathan, demonstrating a painting technique.

A pancake griddle can serve as an inexpensive heated palette on which to melt the encaustic colors. Paintbrushes must be kept heated too. In the tins are clear encaustic medium and paraffin which is used to clean brushes and palette.

A bin containing unmelted medium.

An array of encaustic pigments. Delicious colors and texture.

This is Debbie's professional grade palette with a brush rest. In my next post I will show some of the paintings I created.

Soul collage workshop

2009-05-11T08:42:00.005-04:00

On Sunday I took my first Soul Collage workshop. It took place in a beautiful straw bale studio on a hilltop with a mountain view. I've always wanted to experience a straw bale structure. I loved it madly, plus the tile floors, the big windows. In fact, I could have moved right into this studio. It had a kitchen and bathroom. Just perfect, beyond perfect, for one person.

The Soul Collage facilitator had all these 8X5 matboard cards cut out for us to use. She also had reams of photos from National Geographic and other magazines already torn out of the mags for us to look through to use in our collages. You can also bring photos etc from home to use.

We six participants sat in a circle on the floor. Look at the beautiful altar in the middle. The atmosphere was contemplative. Although we were free to talk while gluing, it was fairly quite as we worked. Maggie had everything laid out for us, cutting boards, glue, scissors. The best thing she said was "there are no rules." I had been going through all kinds of mind stuff fearing there would be particular ways to do things.

I made 7 soul collage cards. Here are five. Do you see the woman in the purple shawl. I didnt know this when I chose her but she was the child on the cover of Time magazine running down the road in the war.

I wanted one with a sense of humour. This also reminded me of the days when I was a young mother. I don't know what the tomatoes are all about.
I was attracted to the colors and forms here. When our cards were complete we sat in the circle again and spoke about one cards using the phrase "I am the one who...." If you dont know what to say you can just describe the card images. Oddly I found a scrap of paper with the woman's one eye and Maggie pointed out that she is the same woman as in the first collage. Hmmm. Do you see her on the right below the gold bars?

This one is very interesting to me. The woman is so intense and I love it that she is smoking (even though I generally don't care for smoking). I loved this picture of the gold bars and used it several times.
Sometimes Maggie has gatherings in which people share their cards and their card stories. I'd love to do that someday. Also she will have a day long workshops in June, although I may be away for that. Here is another soul collage link.

I must say, experiencing a fun workshop like this makes me want to stay here. I know I complain about the winter, but if I can find wonderful people such as were at the workshop maybe I could bear the winter. Maybe it would be good for me. It sure is beautiful up here. I wonder if I can afford a straw bale house?

Alfie - Original Trailer 1966

2009-05-09T10:59:00.004-04:00

I wasnt happy with any of the you tube videos. I wanted Cilla Black singing the song but couldnt find her. It is fun to see Michael Caine looking so young. See related post below. This movie clip is for mature audiences only.

What's it all about, Alfie?

2009-05-09T10:11:00.006-04:00

Where is the me I used to be? Of course, I used to be things like a wife or a girl friend and an "active" mom (ie: my son was little and needed momming). I used to be a student, then an adventurer, then a student again, and so forth. And I understand how those uses in the world arise and then pass on.

But also, I used to be so busy. I always had projects in the works. I took workshops and classes and taught workshops and classes. I made handcrafts. I learned new healthy things like yoga and meditation and vegetarian cooking. I taught myself how to be social in the world. I joined groups (I hated groups at one time) and taught myself how to be a person in a group. I civilized and socialized myself. I wrote gobs in journals: dream journals, daily journals, journals chronicling my writing projects, journals about self-growth with both words and drawings. I had journals that listed all the books I read each year. At the end of the year I totaled these up.

As my homeopath once said to me, (she has known me quite a number of years) she didnt think she knew anyone who reinvented herself so much. Whether that is true or not, she at least thought it true.

And this is what people need to do--reinvent themselves over and over. Flowing with the changes that life brings. We are not one thing for the whole of our lives. And that's okay.

But at the present moment, I feel I am doing nothing. I have no interests. I am crafting nothing. I am learning nothing new. My job here at Mom's is finished. I have cleared out most of her things. I have packed most of my things. I am on a plateau. And it's pretty tiring and pretty boring. I don't have the energy to reinvent myself again.

The bookstore loves me though as I am reading 4-5 books a week. Some from the library but lots I buy from the bookstore. Then once read I give them away as I have no bookcase of my own. I am indolent. I am passive. I sit and read and read. And much as I love reading, it is a solitary pursuit. I go days without talking to anyone except occasionally the bookstore owners.

As Babs said awhile back--"What's it all about, Alfie?" I often hum that phrase too. Maybe I should watch the movie again. I think the song was the best thing about it.

I know we all go through these transition places at numerous times in our lives. It feels like a mid-life crisis but I'm way past mid-life. I am a paper boat adrift on the salt salt sea.

Well, those are some of the thoughts pluckering through my little brain the past few days. They are just thoughts though. Passing by like clouds over the sun. Here and then gone. Observe and then let go. Namaste, Suki

Sphinx

2009-05-08T09:07:00.002-04:00

Recently the Bibs has taken to perching on the edge of my computer table when I sit down to work. She nudges my left hand wanting petting. This would be okay except I am left handed. In the past, she would nudge my right hand and dislike it when I petted her with my left.

Whence the change? Sometimes I wish animals could speak. I know they speak through their behavior, but a couple of words might clarify the situation. So far all she's said is "Purrr."

OK I'm addicted

2009-05-06T09:09:00.003-04:00

I'm not much of a TV watcher, but now that I've found HGTV I am hooked. This station has a lot of home redecorating shows but it also has a first time home buyer show. Young couples search for their first home. They show three homes and show the couple going through the looking and purchase process.

I wonder why it's never a single woman of a certain age we see??

At any rate it is interesting. They also have another site called Front Door which lists homes across the country and also has tips for homebuyers.

The house shown above is the first and only home I ever owned back when I was married. It is about twelve minutes from Mom's house. It cost $13,000 back in the mid-seventies.

Dandelion Wine anyone?

2009-05-05T09:11:00.005-04:00

My brother made dandelion wine many years ago. Just once. You make it from the flowers. There are many other uses, medicinal and culinary, for the dandelion, from root to flower. The leaves are bitter, but make a nice addition to a salad. Here's some more info from naturalist Steve Brill.