~Jenn Hillman Reflections~

Valuing the Experience

2012-01-16T19:38:00.001-07:00

The value of a friendship, a situation or even just a moment is the value of impact for your growth in your evolution. As things may not last forever, one thing does… the impact essence of you on another and vice versa. It may be in the silence of your soul or a memory that brings a smile to your face or as they say, “that one that got away.” The truth is that person, situation or moment changed you. Some connections bring out the best, making you a better person or perhaps the worst of you, when the ego and the mind take control; the mirror needed to be expressed or surfaced and acknowledged. The depth of the connection may vary as does the meaning you place on that person, situation or moment. It is up to YOU to give it the meaning it has for you, if any meaning at all.

The meaning of this all is to evolve and grow in compassion to self and embrace the mirror within you reflected in others. The “how” and “ways” does not matter. Distance, nor the age of the person or situation makes little difference in the impact of the meeting of the hearts and the mirror when it comes to the lesson. Like fingertips passing through the waters deep…on ships of gold and silver, the exchange has brought you to this point of awareness and changed you… the lasting meaning to your evolution is how you react to the interaction… with kindness or harshness… Harshness creates a trigger that reflects in relearning that learn until kindness and compassion fills you entirely. Kindness is compassion and love as I expressed in another blog, Open Letter to a Soul Mate in understanding the creation.

While I was talking with a friend, I came to understand the depth of how I created some situations and I am seeing the changes as I change my attitude about it. The kinder thoughts produce a better outcome. This friend stated something that made him rethought about a current situation. “You deserve cashmere and you are in K-mart”… how is that reflected with the people around you?

Interesting reflection and perhaps a judgment of sorts isn’t it. You can get cashmere in K-mart. It is the reflection of efficiency and openness that places the value on that cashmere. The label or meaning you put on it is all that matters, not what society does. It is like saying… having friends from the “wrong” side of the track. Again, a judgment is being placed by association of the location, neither the heart connection nor spiritual growth potential.

Like minded individuals and situations are located every where you are attracted to…and the more you resist that attraction, the strong the attraction will persist. This is Universe law… so even if your intention is to walk away, avoid, ignore that situation or person, it will still be with you. There is still a value with you and in you about this.

This reminds me of the story of the king that traveled as a beggar to see who his true people were. He went to one house of wealth and was turned away… then another. Then he went to the poorest man, who had little to offer this beggar yet still shared his meal with him. The next day, the king returned gold to this man for his kindness.

So your thoughts produce the life you’re in and your actions tell where your heart is with the truth. Kindness will give you riches as the negative will continue to take it away as you wonder why.
We all deserve and are worthy of the riches and the form of the riches does come in all ways. The people, situation and moments in your life are making the impact of the kinds of riches you have in your life, Gold or Coal.

A whispering of kindness and a smile may change a person live in many ways. Live through your heart and the world around will change for the better. Namaste.

(c)JenniferHillman 2011

Break the Mirror and Live Your True Self

2012-01-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

My body tingles as the vibration radiates throughout my being. Feeling my heart open, expand through the moment of blessings with bliss. Breathe in deep and feel, know you are exactly where you are to be in this now moment. Feel blessed with this knowingness. Love burst out from me as a slight smile grows on my face. I listen to the oneness breathing. Breathing in life and all that is. A new sense of centerness with a deeper awareness that I am beautiful inside and out… as are you. We all deserve the very best in this now moment and now I am realizing the cosmic joke of it all.

The joke is that mirror that we keep looking at… Look deeply at what you are attracting… What is in your experience right now? What isn’t in your experience you long for yet can’t quite get in your hands or out of your head?

Break these mirrors. Stop looking; release the “need” and manifest your true reality. We are keeping ourselves imprison in the dream of unwanted illusions by continuing to look within the mirror. See yourself through the other without attachment to the mirror and see how things shift within your reality. Nothing has meaning… we have all heard this a million times, and probably have said it a few thousand times ourselves. Now live that truth.

A song may have a memory attached to it. Release the emotional “hook” and see what your reaction is to that song. Sure... The Universe may be giving you signs or are you giving yourself a place in your Ego’s comfort zone through that sign? The paradox of the dimension is that.

Be at rest in this moment and breathe in that notion.

Recently I have been feeling mixed emotions due to loss in many areas of my life, yet also knowing and asking myself… what the hell am I feeling this? My house is not me… It was easy to leave… a bother to clean out… more emotion attachments to remove…done. Even the things I brought with me… even my writing for my books, classes and poetry… all connected to something in my past. I am done with all of that, so what do I do with 11 solid years of writing “with hooks” in them?

Well, still know there is a value of the process to others with my writing. So it is time to unhook them and see them through the eyes of the witness, not the participant of that story. It is interesting to me that at the end of a relationship, I write a chapter about what I have learned through that experiment. Yes, experiment of experience. It is like I let go of the meaning of that relationship through writing out the process with that person. Unhook it and become that witness. Stopping the meaning to any thing with that person, experience and breaking that mirror. This is my way of detaching to the outcome and resolving the situation to the highest good of all. I am laughing at the creation and knowing how to end the suffering of the situation by rewriting the situation, like Time Line Therapy, which I use in my coaching practice.

Detachment and unhooking is needed and presence in the now moment is all that is. You got the key for the handcuffs you have keeping you right where you are. Use it now. Release the true essence of all you true are, have, be… As above, so below. Namaste.
(c)jenniferhillman2011

The Presence of the Rose

2011-12-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

(c)jenniferhillman 2006
single essence of peace

A rose is a rose with the beauty, sweetness and thorns, much like life. We enjoy and connect to that beauty and the scent, yet are aware of the thorns that come into our lives. The thorns are the balancing act in this lifetime. That refining of trusting that inner voice regardless of outside influences to remain in the sweetness of the sense of that delicate living thing of beauty; this is the layers of our evolution… like a rose. With the petals, closed and opening as we experience live in all its glories (the sweet smell and beauty) and well, lessons and mistakes (thorns) Yes, this is an ageless metaphor for life and for good reason. Simply, it works in the expression of understanding.

Have you ever really taken the time to connect with a rose…

while still connected to the whole bush?

It is individual within the whole. It grows upward, heading toward the Heavens, the skies and stars. It sways with the breeze or the motions of life and still stands strong, much like a Willow.

Life is now taken a turn to slow down with your goals and aspirations. Enjoy the moment. The moment filled with your true attention. No mind games, no attachments or distractions. Be presence with the people in your life that you care about, who have proven themselves worthy of your time. Make a conscious choice of where you spend your time and energies with the understanding that we all are doing the same.

I have experienced a deeper understanding through the connection of a few people in the last few years that were the mirrors of my past, present and my potential. I thank them each with the love in the heart, for clearing the fogginess away and being true to self in decisions. As a few people have said, we have to connect to see where we are, so we know where to go next. The connection may end or maybe not… as we both are expanding into the next level of evolution. We can’t force the person to continue the ride with us, so it is best to be your best and allow with the acceptance of their choice.

(c)jenniferhillman 2006
-three roses reaching

The last few months, I have experienced a huge amount of loss or releasing of what were holding me in place. Resisting the changes needed yet they were persisted until I did them. In a sense, my heart finally broke open and I now fully follow the sweetness of my heart, with joy. Some I am still dealing with to clear the final debris of this creation. During this time, I have also experienced a huge leap in my soul’s purpose with the acceptance of my situations with others and connecting with the divine essence of my heart. This was the ending of a dream and it was scary as hell, for there was nothing to guide me as I had before. I stepped into the void of creation, rich textured darkness and finding the light to guide me. The rose within my heart began to blossomed. I had planted some seeds and they are singularly growing as I stop to smell the roses, fully aware of the thorns. I know that even if the thorn pricks my finger, it is a needed release and wake up call to get me back on track or make me realize to ground myself in this moment with gratitude of everything and everyone along my journey, past, present and future.

I am in the here and the now.

(c)jenniferhillman 2006 -peace rose

The dreams of your soul and heart never die. They may be delayed; you can’t force them. They may be unfolding in a unique and different way then you visualized. They are like the rose, gathering the strength of the whole to become the true individual to support the others. One small step is a step towards that intention… no matter how long it takes. Impatience is the enemy of your dreams. Hold true to your dreams without being attached. Let the winds of life be your guide, as the rain washed the unneeded away and the warmth of the sun brightens your way… in each moment.

Making Your Life... YOURS.

2011-12-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

(c)RobertHolmes2006 ¨Soul Mates¨

On the day you decide your life is your own...to live through your heart, trust your gut-feelings, and speak your truth... you give yourself and others the ultimate gift. Taking full responsibility for creating a beautiful journey... with no apologizes or excuses. Blaming no one else for what happens... A natural flow occurs and this is when your life truly begins.

Your perception and projections are your choices at work. You have the attraction factor of whatever is in your life. It is the Universal Laws of Attraction, Law of Receptivity and Law of Projection. All say one thing in common. Your thoughts will attract that experience and reflect the lessons you are calling out to explore. Reflection of those thoughts can help one gain insights about themselves, if open to understanding the mirroring effect with the Law of Attraction and Law of Projection. In effect, this is the reason for those people and thoughts are to make you aware of what is dwelling within the subconscious of your being. Those inner truths are being exposed through the outer experiences in your life. You have asked for that exposure in some form and it is up to you to look with a deep compassion into the experience in your creation.

~Is your life made of joy and love or of disquieting chaos?

~Are you recognizing the people in your life reflecting to you an aspect of you that needs attention or acknowledgment?

~Are you in a denial about your own actions or lack of them?

Projecting that onto someone else is a way of getting your attention from your subconscious. Listen to what you are saying and thinking about and to others.

~How is this reflecting your own issues at times?

~How are you responding to the situation… with kindness or defensive?

Ego defends its place, while compassion allows the situation to heal and flows into in a positive direction with talking out the situation with compassion. The choice to remain in the situation as is, change to the betterment or let go. For many reasons for the choice we make; what isn’t working for them, being lack of convenience or toxicity of the situation, person and self. If the lessons aren’t being learned through this person, many time this person will fade out of your life for another person to assist in the learning through a different approach or a different perspective of the same issue. Your awareness of your issues, patterns and connect to self brings the triggers into your life to be healed and released with grace and ease; out of kindness, not ego-based reaction.

With this being said, there are some people that are nature trigger for you, positive and negative aspects. They bring out the essence of you that isn’t the best thing or just keeping a pattern continuing when it needs to change. Or the person that reflects and brings out the very best of you, making you a better person and this is the person who reflects to you knows your highest potential and possibility. It is up to you to find that inspirational cue in your self and continue to reach for that true essence of self.

The situation is your design and you can be aware and recognize with change to the highest potential. With a relationship, being friendship or intimate, take the time to talking this out with the person. Ask questions to get an understanding what is happening within this and what needed to continue the relationship. Even family situation can be filled with triggers and so toxic, it is best to let go of that connection.

These triggers are there to help you by seeing with the awareness of where you are within the construct of your situation. The reason for the deep look before letting go is so you don’t have to repeat the lesson again. Once you understand the reason for the lesson, the lesson will be change the dynamics. If and when it happens again, you will know exactly what to do.

Each situation is different and comparing with other similar situations can do more harm than good for your path. Your path is to live fully in joy and love without reservation and in truth; you will be okay as you take full responsibility for the creation of what you are. You will be a better person for opening your world to your true self swimming in the depths of you. Namaste.

Process Solitude with Gratitude

2011-12-18T17:49:00.001-07:00

Solitude of the morning sweet breeze with warmth invites me to dance, as I celebrate another year of life. Rebirth. Day of reflections and joyous blessings realized. This year has been one of great change for me and the shifts for me haven’t always been gentle. This month has been a hard one to bear at times. The questions of life, friendships and purpose of life continue to open my heart wider. Loss of my father, a few friendships drifting and leaving the place I have lived for a quarter of my life, leaving much of me behind. Though beautiful new opportunities and friendships are open for me, including a new closeness with my family; Perhaps a deeper appreciation for each of them. Still I am dealing with many more things on these minor physical realities.

I have learned to be more receptive and to allow more to unfold… listen deeply to my heart and the little nuances within. My masculine energies are balancing out as the woman I truly am gels into this physical body. My inspirational muse lives within these days as I continue balancing between the stillness and the normalcy of living in this physical realm. The deep sense of detachment with the lingering feeling brings tears at times through the immense changes happening. What to believe is only that there is a deep love between us all and I am respecting choices made by those around me.

During this year, I got the messages and with growing accuracy… from many sources of Source. A Prophet has come to me in the form of a dog… yes, God spelled backwards. The dog, named Prophet, looks goofy and is the one that whispered for three mornings… “He will go in his sleep.” Well, thank you. May he go in peace as I was thinking it was this dog...He is 14 years old and a big dog. The message about my dad as the night my dad did go in his sleep, Prophet slept on my bed and was with me at the moment I found out of my dad’s passing. It was the first time Prophet had done this. He is staying close to me these days and I appreciate his company. The family is doing well and thanks those who sent their prayers for us. My mom told me yesterday that Dad is still around, turning on his bed side light on to let her know. We all are feeling his presence.

Interestingly enough that I would see a condor on the way to breakfast this morning. The rapture associated with life and death... A Rebirth is happening for me as I continue letting the course of my journey unfold. A friend said he hopes I find what I am looking for. I am not looking; I am enjoying this human experience in the fullest while I can. I surrendered and my dreams are unfolding… dreams and seeds planted days, weeks, months and years ago are lining up and being presented to me with such ease… I know I just be aware, open and receptive.

For this impatience Sage who is use to pushing things at times… this is good. Now the ease of living comes to me. Timing is not up to the illusion and things change with others’ choices. I live in this now moment and love myself to create a brilliant life. I wish the best for this friend. I will always consider him a friend and hold him in high regards with a deep appreciation for this connection. I hope this message resonate with his heart.

I feel such a deep rich tapestry of passionate compassion with the world at this point. I be the witness to many changes for myself and others. The use of poetry and words eases this journey for me. My expressions of truth through my perception and the information I have. All is revealed in time and generally, in surprising ways.

I do like surprises and my manifestations have been filled with them. I wish for all of you a moment of stillness, filled with the blissful surprises available with your openness to the Universal dance. Change is the only consist thing in this realm and it is the way you handle the surprises, good and bad, that makes your experiences a growing insightful experience of the grandeur and splendor you truly are as you allow and accept the responsibility. Namaste.

Expressing the Inspirations of Loss

2011-12-13T07:48:00.002-07:00

(c)jenniferhillman2011

The heart whispers softly in the ever presence of Love. Love continues, even when things end and are renewed in some form of betterment. The same person or someone new... the same goes with careers, homes and most aspects of life. Loss is a part of the cycle of life. The pain is only if you take it personally or in doubt or denial. Letting go is a beautiful part of this process of life. This is all about the process and enjoying it to the fullest as best we can.

When experiencing death in some form, reflect on the legacy of the heart. The purpose of all your experiencing in this lifetime is assist in your growing evolution. The fullest of expression of the human potential is the lasting impression of each moment and person in your life. They each are the mirroring effort towards your betterment as you are for them. A person who inspires you is reminding you that you are inspiring another. A passionate exchange empowers the sensual being living inside and an expression of the divine in the positive reflection of the humanity of life. The connection of all life present its self before you.

The heart whispers as the tears fall with the loss of a dear person in one´s life. I write. I write to find the expression of that person´s beauty and knowing they are still within the spirit of truth. In the clouds, music and animals around me. Distance is an illusion of the mind that can end a beautiful physical connection if you allow that to be your perspective. For me, within the truth of life, there is no distance between friends, lovers, and family. Choice of perception. Love connects us all with in this time. Separation is the mind keeping us away from the deeper truth of the connection.

Even the rain become one with Mother Earth combining the air and sky, to nurture the life on this planet. The cycle of life and beauty of the interconnection of all. The depth of the moment lingers in my heart as I watch the raindrops dance in a puddle. The branches of the plants and trees reaching out to rejoice the moisture of the sky. We can reach and touch through many means of communication and connect with so many now. One moment can become viral and change one´s perception of the situation. Or one can close their eyes and heart with choice to be in solitude.

Choice to be within the dance of life and the joys of the moment can seem tough during the times we are living. Part of humanity´s heart seems to have closed themselves off and focused on the greed and not the reality they are creating. The world seems to have gone mad in some ways and the anger, blame with the passion of the day creating chaos for many in the world. All in the divine plan of lessons. Remain in your heart space and look at this time as a realigning of your soul to the higher aspects of Self and be grateful for the hills and valleys in your life. Each part of your journey is an adventure to reconnect to that higher aspect and continue to, regardless of the outside influences, simple listen to the whispers of your heart. Namaste.

This Mighty Mouse will Save the Day...no more.

2011-12-05T15:50:00.001-07:00

She reached over to say good morning to her husband of 58 years, touching his hand, she felt coldness. He, at last, was truly resting. At peace and away from all the bossy women in his life he joked often about. He was always surrounded by women, having two older sisters, wife and then four daughters. A good looking man as well who attracted women around him with his charm and humor. Even at 80 years old, he was handsome to her. His sense of humor and laugh was still active.

She looked at him for a moment, her thoughts were of no more I love yous, no more sweet smiles or shared laughs with this man she met in college. She had know he was the right one and she allowed it all to unfold, including letting him date other women for a bit, until he realized truly in his heart, he had met the right one. He come back to her and said, ¨Well, are you going to marry me or not?¨ She let him know the next day. Married on April 18, 1953 in Berea, Kentucky in a small service, they were off on their adventure with the military. Texas, Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Washington, Alaska, California and even a 18 month station in Korea, though she and the kids stayed in California. He wrote her a love letter everyday. They traveled the rest of the world after his retirement.

They shared good and thin times, heartbreak and wonderful times. Each day was an adventure and they took one day at a time. Their five children were a handful and talented in their own way. Each gave them a few moments of concern as most parents go through. They allowed them to fall and help them up. The foundation of this union and this family was Love in the purest sense of the word... Laughter and don´t take things too serious, yet do. Practical matters and security were part of this too. If you take something on, do your best and do it until it is finished were some of the standards impassioned into each. Honesty, integrity, and compassion were also instilled in his family and friends.

Her husband, a Colonel in the Air Force, got the nickname ¨Mighty Mouse¨ because of his size and strength, having the cartoon character painted on his plane when he flew. At 5´6¨, he was a powerful and well respected man, commander and family man. With a double bachelor in aeronautical engineering and mathematics, he was a brilliant man who worked in the NSA missile division the last decade of his military career. Special Operations, where he would not and could not discuss his work, now gone with him into the Silence of life. ´That´s classified, I can´t talk about it¨ was his reply to most questions about his work. It became amusing to the kids, trying to figure exactly what Dad did at work. They knew only that he worked on the payload of the shuttle, Columbia until his retirement in 1974. The 22x27 photo of the Columbia that he received at his retirement party was a give away to that one. The Columbia would not fly until 1981. True pride shown in his eyes as he watched it lift off for the first time and tears streamed with its accident. It was that with each Apollo launch as well, waking the kids up to make sure they saw history in the making. Poached eggs on toast with Tang for breakfast those special days.

They did their best for those special days like the holidays, in setting traditions for the kids. Some of the lifelong traditions was his Cesar Salad, Spaghetti and Chinese cooking, like Chinese Beef or Sweet and Sour Pork. Entertainment bought them joy, sharing time with good friends. Good food, good wine, good times. Or a Jim Beam and water, please. They had friends around the world and they remained the them. So when the kids travels, the kids would often hear, ¨Oh, you must go by and say hello to So and So. They would love to see you.¨ Of course, the kids didn´t remember or know these people most of the time, they would do as their parents asked and were glad they did. Oh the stories told about their folks. Being in the Air Force, they had met and served with many people across the global and kept in touched with many of them as well as people in college with Christmas cards.

And now this year, the traditional Christmas poem is out and mailed. Yet another special edition may be mailed with the death of her Beloved. The kids are doing the arrangements, including her grandson arrangement of a Military Service as he deserved... this Mighty Mouse will save the day no more. He will be remembered and loved always. His inspiration will live on in his family and friends.

This special man was my father and at 4:43am December 5^th, he went peaceful in his sleep and joined one of his sisters and his parents. His wife, 5 children, 7 grandsons will miss him. I wish to extend a heartfelt thank you for all your support, dear friends. Words can not express my gratitude for your presence.

Open Heart & Mind Brings Possibilities

2011-11-28T10:42:00.001-07:00

(c)jenniferhillman2010

Beautiful day, isn't it? Each morning is a new life begins with a fresh attitude and intention. A blessing and a miracle. It is through those moments of setting your intentions with the feeling that it is done that we can gain. Let go and following your heart. In the last weeks, I have set intentions and watch in awe of the pieces falling into place with ease. Where I question or doubt is still unresolved and unsettled. I am working on those. That free will getting in the way, yet it is unraveling and unfolding as I gain new insights with each breath of this adventure.

This adventure is getting more synchronized and I am smiling. For example, as I mentioned, I have found a new place to live off the same road I was born and lived for completing a cycle started the last time I lived here. The woman has many things in common with two of my sisters. Like having the same numbers with her address and their phone number...being born the same day as this same sister who I had the greatest Balancing out my fear of becoming and I am having a offshoot of another´s name that has always been the most supportive of me. Living my fears and getting pass it as the illusion breaks apart. Appreciating her more as I realize the reason for the connection.

We are not alone and family comes to us in many forms. It is so beautiful how it does when we are aware of it. Home is where your heart is and presence... that now moment. Each person or thing is a mirror for you to understand yourself better. Once you accept and enjoy this simple fact, the magic becomes more alive and easy to use.

People come and go, as the lesson is lived, process and accepted. Some will remain as good times were experience and they have become a supportive essence of your life, though that may change. It is all good. Some you may feel lingering, waiting for their time for reconnection or slowly fading out of your life. Embrace whatever it is as the beautiful moment of distraction or lessons. I thank and love them for who and what they are in my life. I remember them and do as my heart feels right to be in their lives. If they feeling is the same, the energy out will equal yours or end. Resisting the change you started is only slowing your progress in this game of life, love and the pursuit to be your highest potential. How they react or not is up to them. It is fine and good. Accept and allow their processing.

I generally write out the lessons learned and clear anything out that needs to be. If I am to talk to someone about the situation, I do. If not, I will let it be. If someone is a bit of a controller, I tend to let go for a bit, let them know through actions, I am not playing their rules now, if at all. My rights to participant or not. Like it or not. Same goes for them. It will all balance out in some form.

I connected with a wise young man and enjoy his teachings through his quote. One recently has opened my heart and mind to a deep processing.

¨Everything is a mirror. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we only meet a reflection of ourselves. The state of the world is a reflection of the state of our mind. Until there is peace within you, there is no peace in the world, because you are the world. Question all thoughts that see the world as separate and imperfect, that assume that you 'know' or 'understand' anything. Arrive at the simple mind, the 'don't know' mind, the mind of presence. There is nothing but joy and peace everywhere. Everything is realised as a projection and reflection of the one mind. So bring out the pop-corn, and enjoy the show.¨ ~~Nithya Shanti

We are all in a state of change as we are blossoming through the miracles surround us daily. Embracing the magic of Mother Earth and join her as you focus your intentions and follow the sign along the way. You can not go wrong if you do. Only when you hesitate and get in your way, do you really suffer. We know better than that. I have learned that lesson well and continue to consciously be aware of this beautiful moment, allowing it to carry me to all my dreams through the lessons and people who bring me to my highest potential in this now moment. Namaste. Blessing to you and all you be.

Priorities of the New Reality

2011-11-22T09:31:00.001-07:00

What to do next? The year is coming to the end soon and the electric energy of Sagittarius Fire of aiming high comes alive this time of year. Time of increase pressures to stand your own or to be yourself with the enjoyment of this time. Creation of your state of mind is up to you. Many are feeling the lack of their expectations being met in the form they were hoping.

Oh well, the universe gives you want you need... not what you necessarily want. Let me stress this to you again... it is for manifestation your desires here. The Universe gives you what you NEED, not your wants. If you want to be rich and throw it out to the universe, it will provide ways for you to need to be rich. If you need to be rich for the reason for the higher value to others, you will receive a brilliant idea that will create that very potential. You still need to some work for this to occur. The unspoken expectations of ¨how¨ will get to you in some form. As I shake my head, I have experienced that lessons many ways and forms. I laugh now.

Many are feeling this build up of creative brilliance. Most people with a fire sign are getting a boost of energies in clarity of focus, creativity, and directional push. Manifestations are coming easier. Clear intention will bring this idea into form at lighting speed. It is all good and we need to heed this powerful energy. Make sure the direction you are heading in...so here comes Mercury in retrograde. It is a time to realign, regroup, and reorganize your priorities... and just in time for the holiday. Oh Joy!

Enjoy the time with friends and family... see if you are in the right place for yourself to have all you need to move forward or if you are feeling a bit frustrated at the distance you have. For me, I am doing just fine with the understanding of the subtle energies that have blessed with new amazing people. I knew I was not in the right place and I move back to my birthplace. It made all the different for more creative productivity. Manifestation of this magic time of change. Am I feeling the time to get reorganized in my priorities? I am writing this blog to reaffirm just that. I figured if I am feeling this shift of gears, others may too.

Dreams have many insights these days and may be coming clearer now. You may remember something from your dreams where before you did not remember anything. We got lots of activities going on the physical, spiritual and planetary realms... and it is all fits perfectly together.

It all helps bring the focus back to center. Grounding the intentions with a little action lets the universe know you are serious about it. For example, As I said, I knew that it was time for me to move. So I asked a friend who lived in my birthplace if I could stay with her for a couple of weeks while I got reorganized. I set a date to be out. She was very generous with her space, and things were good. Though after I moved in... the subtle shifting energies around her made it clear to start looking for a new place or opportunity. So I looked at arranging house sitting, roommates and apartments. This was an adventure so anything goes. I mentioned to the people I knew in the area that I was looking for new place to live. Nothing really happened though I continued looking daily, while I was continued to work on my projects and networking. I gave thanks for this place I was staying daily and blessed all that was happening to me.

Then one Saturday after a week of continuing passive aggressive comments, the friend made a last comment, I set a strong declaration. I am finding a new place to live today! I continued to looking, yet knew it was a done deal about the new place. I was invited to go out with a friend I knew and meet some new friends. I met the friend at a New Mexican style restaurant and walked over to the new friend´s home. I entered this home to find a pool table in the living room, much like my home. Next a beautiful half Akita/Pit Bull dog came into the room to greet me. I instantly knew I was moving in and soon the owner of the home and new friend offered me a room in this place. We went to a restaurant to celebrate and we danced the night away. I talked with the friend who introduce me with this new person... and it all just click.

The next day I returned to make sure... and the back yard was incredible large, green with vegetables, cacti and warmth. I had find it. First month free and it is month to month. She is a spiritual woman, attorney, and a Leo. She is born the same day as my sister and much like her. I have found a new extended family, not just a place to live. It is amazing the way the universe works with you knowing the secrets of the way it works. It is truly magically.

The new year of 2012 is coming and the discussion with many is what is going to happen now. The shifts of our perceptions, perspectives and intentions are changing minute to minute with each new thought being of gratitude or not... we are creating through those very thoughts our next now moment. So my suggestion to you during this next three weeks is to make sure within your heart what you NEED to be happy and successful in your life... Set a strong, focus intention... and watch it unfold as you unfolded beautifully into the new reality available to you. Be grateful every step, misstep and nuance that comes into your life is the key to manifestation the new reality you are creating. Enjoy the unfolding of the beautiful new you!

Witnessing History in the Making

2011-11-18T10:21:00.002-07:00

Bank of America Plaza Los Angeles, Ca.~ Nov. 17, 2011

Witnessing and participating in the making of history… to be there, I put out the intention of going down to downtown LA to be apart of Occupy LA. It happened on the day of the national day of protest all over the state of the union. We each have felt the squeeze of the corporation takeover the governing of this world for the greed and the few, leaving little for the “common” person to live on. The voice of the people wanting change spoke… and it reaffirm to me the power of the people needs to continue for change to happen in some form. Evolution continues within this change.

After growing up in the sixties and just watching the push for change before my eyes on the TV, I was born to be a rebel in some form. As if by osmosis, I knew with watching my brother’s ‘heated’ discussion with my dad. My dad was an Air Force officer and my brother being born at the right age for the draft. Though my bro did not want to participant in the war overseas, so they had fights about current events and I witnessed with wide open reality checks happening around me. Like our neighbor’s son who did go to Vietnam, I witnessed his anger and inner struggle of having to kill children by orders. He never got over it and he only found some peace through drug use until his death of liver failure. He had walked away from life and into the escape of drugs.

As I walked around the Bank of America Plaza in downtown Los Angeles, I felt the tension growing as the afternoon lingered forward with the cops on the move with their orders. Whispers of teargas and arrests pending were among the conversation of the crowd. None seemed too concerned of the possibility of plastic bullets or the teargas. Many were enjoying the rhythm and beat of the drums playing than worrying about a possible beating from the cops. Most were enjoying the emotions of voices speaking out… as a declaration like the founding fathers gave us all. There was pride in this country, in self and their neighbors who stood next to them, being a part of history.

Each had their reasons and stories on the plaza, the marches and the group of citizens embracing their moment to be heard. Others came down when convenient and be a part of the movement. Rinzi, a street photographer came down to record this moment on film. Sophia, an activist for children’s rights came to voice her power and the pride in this country and its citizens. The percussion band comes everyday to keep the mood upbeat.

The fact is we all had a place in this moment of history. Being present and aware of the change needed in this country and world. We all created this for the unique reason for the individual within the whole and with this, are making the necessary changes for evolution of the planets…2012 evolutionary changes has begun and a reason for this all occurring. Basic needs of citizens are not being met, yet the government focusing on the bottom line of the corporations that war is money, profit and that is all that matters. The dehumanizing aspect of war and the powers that be has come to ahead in this country and the citizens are taking back their power as they can.

If anything can be learned from this adventure at this time in history… other than history does tend to repeat its self, we must understand ourselves in the lineage of that history to change it like anything in our lives. We can build great excuses for our lives, and remain that way or we can built confidence and character, moving forward with a better understanding of the mirrors and truth that lives within us now. That choice is our innate truth. We created this time to learn, to grow and improve humanity through reflection of experiencing to the past as life cycles through again.

Sacredness Of Intentions

2011-11-11T06:54:00.001-07:00

So what are your intentions on this powerful sacred day? Full moon glowing and it is early morning. I am here and thinking of the humorous life we are living. The simply joys available in this moment of connection are around us now. The sacredness of our connection, near and far, we are together. I feel your presence; know yours by name and location where I feel you and feel blessed by the thought of you, truly.

I gave intention a few years ago to a dear friend to meet everyone of my FB friends. I still have that intention and have been meeting some of you that have commented or chatted with me. Some have moved on or I have. The lessons and moment of the connection fades. While others are in respite or realignment for the moment, I am still connected to you. Distance to me… is a mindset. Distance is a bit of an inconvenience. Meeting in person is possibility and change is happening. So soon in some form or another, it will open things up. Some may think you aren’t really friends unless you physically see them in the eyes at least once… pictures and video don’t count. This is not my belief and why my intention was set.

This brings up the intentions again. Have you made an intention and putting it on hold? Now is the time to walk your talk. If you put off intentions, your integrity may be on hold as well as the intention. I have learned this lesson a few times. So I am meeting those that I can and continue down the list. Completing things I have started.

If you say you want to do something, put some action toward that intention. Make a plan and start working/walking it. If you said you wanted to meet, make the plan to do it. I have send out a few invitations today to do that. One step at a time.

Courage is facing your fear and opening your world to a wider realm of possibility. Some will not be there full potential out of the fear of that change. Change is the only consistence and only brings something better at the end of the road, folks. You are only delaying your potential and your dreams. I know that for a fact, Jack! Ha.

The other day, I realized all the intentions I put out are happening. Perhaps a bit delayed and I have written about that before. I recently stepped forward again with a few of those seeds planted a few years ago. Mark them off the list. Strange part is it is in the order I planted them. Ha ha.

The delay of many intentions was fear. Fear of change; of losing my comfort zone. Fear of I don’t know how in the hell I am going to do it. Then I realized it is very simple. One foot in front of the other…

In a prayer I say states, It is promised that those who ask will receive; those who seek, will find; those who knock, doors will open. It is the willingness to ask, to seek, to knock… to take action toward your dreams that make them happen and that fear to fade out of your life. It may pop up each time a new idea or intention happens… take a deep breathe in and ask you, “what is the first step?”

Listen to that inner wise person dwelling inside of you and let that inner child come alive with the joy of this new adventure. That is the true courage of integrity with self. That is one of my deepest intentions on this sacred day in these immense moments of change. To listen to my inner voice, the wise being I am through my heart and let that inner child lead the way with joy into the adventures of my life…with faith, trust and truth.

So with this full moon in Taurus… the sign of materialism, love and power (bull headedness)… think of your goals, of seeds planted or plant some new ones and put some actions towards your dreams. One step at a time.

For example, if you have insecurity issue… you will need to face them before you get that security you stress about. Take those leaps of faith and make a statement to the universe that you want and willing to do what you need to do, be or have for it.

Question yourself… Is what you are holding onto worth what you may be losing? Are you truly heading in the directions of your intentions? Have you gotten off track or distracted? Are you open to other possibilities within your goal or set on one limited outcome? What is the greatest fear I have? Am I willing to face it head on? If not, you will in some form.

You got to finish up your past before your future can start. So anything or an agreements still lingering can hold you up into the new dreams and reality. Clear up anything you have stuck in your life. If you have resentment or unfinished business with a person… new people may not come in until those fears or situations are dealt with.

Respect yourself and others you touch; be wise with your time, energy and words; engage your mind through your heart and be presence to the beauty within and around you. Namaste. I will be seeing you… keep smiling.

~Thank you for reading this blog. Comments are welcomed and appreciated.~

Brilliance of the Universal Plan

2011-11-09T10:17:00.002-07:00

The brilliance of the Universal plan amazes me to laughter. The little details we may unknowing know or download directions to follow through. Trusting those gut feelings and following through with wonderment and curiosity. Those are the moments of adventure that can be moments changing a person’s life, including and most importantly yours. Each has been impacted.

Having such moments and writing down some bizarre stories I have lived makes me appreciate this journey even more… with realizing these are just stories and agreements with these people who cross my path, physically, metaphorically and spiritually...As if like a dream.

Why do I say metaphorically and spiritually? Each of us is energy, each of us has the potential for telepathic connections and that energy expands and deepens the connection when we are open to this truth; living within the lucidity of the dream. The connection may be just feel or words may be heard, or appear within a dream. A strong impression on you can be felt by that person or someone else you are connecting with at that moment. Let the ping pong game begin… or not. This depends on your awareness of the connection with your sub consciousness.

The subconscious level of you truly rules your life, so the more you make that level within your awareness… you will have a better understanding of the aspects of yourself and others. You will have less reaction and more peace within your existence and relationships. The dramas and games tend to end to more respectful space as you attract like-minds.

Ending the delaying games and trusting those feeling and sensing you need to be some where else and go… ending up having something more than expected happen that opens the heart with more compassion and a deep appreciation for the journey and the connections. A beauty of life emerged within you and a more trusting faith in yourself grows. A trust within the uncertainty of life’s journey as you is creating the journey along the way. Follow your happiness, your bliss and the inner voice whispering to your heart.

You will appreciate the aspect of the cat… being independent and magical. Seeing all with a new light of perception through the dark is truth of this adventure you live. Within every moment of creation, imagination and connections… you will live through your heart and enjoy the dance of life with new appreciation.

What Motivates Your Passion into Action?

2011-11-02T04:25:00.001-07:00

On the road to adventure. (c)jenniferhillman2004

What motivates you?

What is “it” that makes you move into action with your dreams?

What makes a dream into a passion?

What is that passion that drives people to do the most amazing things?

Especially when it surprises themselves that they did it. That is a beautiful moment and memory… and linchpin to let you know that nothing is impossible. Can you say yes? Or does that make you think about it?

People often have dreams to achieve something and then just dream of it while in the comfort of their own space. I haven’t been like that for a long time. I tend to leap before I look… well, jump cliffs can be exhilarating, even if it is just the metaphoric kind. Plans are made along the way with the research. Keeps me on my toes… and I am a free spirit overall, except for the last few years. Society attitudes catch up with me and that security deal trapped me in a cage. I am breaking out of the cage… and again, I can breathe.

Being a Sag/Water Tiger… Freedom is important for me with the understanding that I know everything will work out the way it will. All for the highest good, so let the passion arise and bring forth the path of good intentions. I aim high and go for it. I clean up along the way like a good hiker/adventurer, respectful of the nature elements around me. Passions push me onward.

One of my mantras is “Got a passion, make it happen. (sm).” Security is another word to me in a way, especially now. Living in that space of worry, doubts and negativity just ain’t living. One way or another, it all works out.

So what is that passion that brings breathe into your soul and pushes you into that challenging reality of making that happen? How did that dream appear to you and what was your reaction? Is it really a challenge? What inspired you to take action now?

I often think of inspiration like a balloon flowing by… you can grab it or someone else will. I have seen this time and time again. You know that feeling when you see something and think… oh I had the same idea. Of course, those are the million dollar ideas that you let flow by. I now grab all I can, more than I can do and see what I can do. Files of ideas now and I am slowing getting them done. The “how to do it” is appearing and that is the best and easiest way to go. The people needed are as well.

Puzzle pieces are falling into place for some of the ideas. Then you know you are on the right track. At times, obstacles come and attempt to stop you. I have slowed down on some of my ideas, as they are getting refinement with these changing times. They are getting done beautifully. Dreams are beautiful on paper… especially for the writer and the poet. The adventurer in all of us wants to experience the dream, not just envision it.

So I let me suggest this to you… Close your eyes, asking yourself “what is my greatest passionate adventure?” See what pops into your mind. Write it down… and go for it. Put the dream into action. Do a little research, contact people you need to and make it happen now.

Enough with the planning your life out… Live it. It will all work out beautifully when you have that passion and make it happen. You know you are motivated when you get your heart pumping and connect quickly to the inner voice. Listen to it as it is guiding you exactly where you need to be, go and happiness will come to you. It is when you deny that voice and gut feeling… that your life falls apart. The doubts and problems take hold of you. You may made mistakes along the way. Trust the lesson and keep moving forward. Let your passions motivate you into action; those passions are the keys to your purpose in life. Enjoy, trust and get moving! Woo!

"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." Jawaharial Nehru

(c)JenniferHillman2011

New Moon of Inner Dreams' Depth

2011-10-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

It is a rich plum sunrise today, clearing tones of possibilities as the rosiness of colors blend. The new moon in Scorpio brings depth into our experiences. Reflect on the now moment and how you are doing with it all. Changes and transmutation come with Scorpion energies…death, rebirth, sex and dreams… a power within us comes alive.

Where are you heading in your life?

Have you realigned yourself with your highest good in mind?
Have you align and realigned your relationships and situations
towards your dreams?

Still in the direction of your dreams?

Or you holding yourself back or are people/situation around you?

This is the day of intentions and heart-found honesty with you. This energy has been around for the last three days and will continue for three more days. No surprises if you receive a note or situation resolves itself if you put the intention out what you truly want. Letting go of situations or gaining a better hold of it within you helps the manifestation of your true self and dreams.

I realized in the last few days, I am right on track with things I have put out to happen. I may have delayed it a bit, though I am good at picking up the pace and getting things done. My focus is good with deadlines now. I do better with some pressure while enjoying the process. It is all about the process and any delays were making sure I did enjoy it and not just do it and move on.

I am coming to the end of one of my dreams. I recognized it in the last few days. Literally living the dream within this dream and seeing before me. It is eerie and exciting to know how true my dreams and vision are. I count my blessings and am gratitude for the awareness. This from a dream when I was 13 years old. Yes, I still remembered it… it was that profound a vision. I have been writing that one up and now will finish it…A few last details of completion to deal with and I will move onto the next beautiful vision. Lessons learned, heed and processed. Acceptance and allowing the human reality to be as it is.

With that stated, we are all exactly where we want to be, fear or no fear. I feel a freedom in truly understand that concept and the remembrance of my dreams. Knowing that it is all going to happen unless I decide to change it up a bit. I have big dreams and that is what life is… big dreams and slowly taking one step each day toward them, knowing it or not… you truly are on the right track. No delays really. It may seem that way, or you may have added a new dimension to it. It is all wonderfully in your control.

There was the comment has been said to me, you have more influence than you realize. As I have this “power,” it is wise for me to simply remember that every word, in kindness or observation, has an impact within the oneness. The rip effect. This goes with all people, spoken or unspoken directly to that person. Good to remember as you are thinking or speaking about a person or situation… making comments or judgments… we all have that power, knowing or not.

Thoughts are the reality you are creating. So if you are thinking positively or negatively about another, you may also be thinking it about yourself. The mirroring effect does happen. How are you thinking about others in this now moment? Are you acting, thinking in kindness or malice. In jest or not, your thoughts have a response coming back to you. All energy out comes back with a great force. I have experience this in many forms.

So on this beautiful powerful day of the depth of inner dwelling dreams take a moment and check in with your dreams, heart and soul. See where you are along the line of manifestation and celebrate exactly who and where you are. How well are you doing? .

Open Letter of a Soul Mate

2011-10-24T04:09:00.001-07:00

It’s 2am and I am fully awake. Thoughts kept coming to mind or the mirror kept coming into my mind. It is about this time, both am and pm, that he does… strong. At times, it can be overwhelming to me. I have to move, ground… do something… so now I am here writing a kind of love letter to him… out of friendship… though it is a love letter to myself as well. This is a letter to all soul mates and spiritual connections of love and understanding.

The many kinds of love… this one is the different love of the true friend and soul mate… The Mirror is connected at the heart and soul…the depth and the beauty of this connection bring the deepest of gratitude and the painful joys of being human. It is a lasting lifetime friendship, physically or within the silence. Long distance or up close. It lives and breathes true beauty and grace. Ultimately, this gives one the greatest of blessings… of growth, of love, and Self truths, if one are aware. If not, you can be living in a nightmare. If not, this is your wake up call to do that… WAKE UP and recognize yourself within another. We did recognize something special here with us. A unique comfort between us… an open space of allowing and acceptance.

The funny thing is I haven’t met this guy face to face (yet). Divine timing, we always said. We both recognized that there was a deep, special bond between us. Both experienced changes and growth through exploration of entanglement, good and the bad. He changed me for the better. I have only physically heard his voice a couple of times while he was at a pub a few years ago. Michael Jackson played in the background. Man in the Mirror. He is refusing to talk now, though he said he would. The wall was built by both of us. Ah, the conditions placed, yet we refused to allow to be met; even when we both agreed “no expectations.” Humans have these most of the time, knowing it or not.

Amusing the things we do to ourselves. The little half-truths and games we play…the limits we place on ourselves with ourselves. Sure, we may project it all on another. And that is the beauty of the mirror, he reflects it right back with such ease and grace. This guy is a smooth operator and a real ass at times. He admitted to me. I firmly agreed with a smile and a whip of words.

I thank him for it all… for holding firmly up that mirror. I learn more about myself through him, my past, present and future. Like a complete life review, all in one beautiful connection of words on the page, yet deeply and ardently felt. How fitting… as I am an impassioned writer at heart. I smile as I write these words. Truly smile as I get more out of the friendship, the more it distant it seems. There are times of exploration apart to bring things into higher perspective. I am here for him, if he wants to connect.

Sure, I understand the concepts at play here. The images of words, actions (or lack of them) with the inspirations and imagination brought forth with this. It is so simple for friends to tell me to let go of him, not understanding this. Attempt to dismantle it out of jealousy or misunderstanding. It is not so easy with this depth of connection, especially long distance. Easy to play a game like one mutual friend said I was too available to him. We are friends and support each other. I am just being me. No games or maneuvering here with me. Simply good friends with a depth of compassion. If others have issues with it, let them learn to open their hearts and minds a bit more.

The mirror shows you the light and the dark, respect/disrespect, the good and the ugly. Once recognized, it all tends to blend into the gray, as another friend mentioned to me. The balance is found as one evolves. The deep connection remains within the heart with deep love and appreciation. Above and beyond the realm of the physicality, though more often are becoming physical these days, if resistance isn’t present. It works out in the long run. Divine timing and the will to make it happen with the passion.

As I come to the point of realizing all this mirror means to me, I can only simply thank him with words for now. The honest beautiful words he appreciates. I can only hope he still read them in these heart-felt words. You pushed me to a new place, mindset and understanding of love for self. I always went with my gut feelings and heart… to the physical point I can. I hope he continues to follow his. Explore the world and find self.

We share imagination, creativity and inspirations through art, music and exploring living life, a part yet together. For someone who isn’t very good with words… you did just fine with me. I always see your brilliance in all you are, my dear friend. I am honor to call you a friend and soul mate. A beautiful distraction and inspiration on the page. I explore myself through you in a way I can’t see any other way. I love you for being you… one soul to another. The door is open. Just knock.

Find Inspiration Within All

2011-10-07T08:53:00.001-07:00

Inspiration and joy surround you each day, with your acknowledgement or not. You also are the inspiration for someone else, knowing it or not. Somewhere inside of you… you get it. Again, the ways you process the moment is up to you. Gratitude is one way that will continue the little miracles of magic, as I say, to continue them to come into your life. And with the changes happening around us all… a moment of thanks is here.

In recent months, I have got through huge changes and through it all, some friendships have changed. Life is a game and fun is the aim. Kindness and compassion are keys with all the changes we all are going through. With the global earth changes and economies shifting, a greater compassion and understanding is appreciated.

Many are being impacted by these situations. Knowing that the States are in the process of a major revolution, I have been feeling the effects personally. I appreciate the situations we have created and being centered in the practical and spiritual can be challenging. It is also inspiring and motivating through this sacred journey of the creation developing and unfolding in my life.

As someone who has faced death and rebirth a few times, I have a deep appreciation of being on this planet and the responsibility that comes with it; the beauty, light and love; along with the tainted, dark and love. Trust me; there have been times I wonder why I am. I understand I attract the people in my life who are needed for my lessons and understandings; the spiritual agreements. They have a purpose in my life. Some take to the heart and others don’t take personally and just let go. I speak my truth from my heart and be who and what I am. Trust, Faith and Love; I am Love and Loved are my mantas.

The Voyage
copyrightJenniferHillman2011

With this said, I am seeing and being motivated by the many forms of inspirations surrounding me these days. I give thanks for all… here are just a few examples.

Recently I have reconnected with some childhood friends who have known me all my life and at the heart of the connection is still love. So much has happened through the years and it is still such a deep joy to be with them. It is having things in common and support, like extended family.

It was sweetness to my ears when a business associate and friend acknowledged me as someone who has been through a lot and still smiles with joy in her heart. He called me “a genuine person” that he truly respects and would do anything for me. It was nice to hear and much needed after recent events in my life.

I appreciate those on the social media connection who appreciate what I do and add value to my life. Their kind words of appreciation are appreciated and keep me going. I have connected some through Facebook have inspired me, challenged me and frankly pissed me off with their actions or lack of them as they twisted ways of thoughts; though it is other perspectives to consider. Yet I know they may take something to the extreme… in fun or sarcasm is left to one’s imagination. I still appreciate the lessons, reflections and the inspirations through the connections. I have gained from the experiences with them.

Other new people have come into my life have inspired me like a man who came to buy some furniture complimented my art work and said that I am truly an artist and ought to be selling more of my art, inspired me to do more art. This is my intention and he gave me confirmation it is a good direction for me. He actually bought one of my student pieces I did even with the broken glass. I was surprised at how much he did like my work, especially my wood sculpture. He has inspired me to do more art, like this piece, The Voyage being made from scrap pieces from miscellaneous other’s projects. The piece reflects the interactions of the connections that sail and passing through the voyage of life.

The point I am making here is inspirations and miracles are around you to acknowledge the brilliance you truly are. Reflect all that you are and be responsible for your thoughts and actions as you do have an impact on others… the Oneness connection. You may not know how you are impacting someone. All actions have a reaction. You only need to be open to hear, see and receive. Take some actions that strengthen your belief in believing in yourself. With a humble appreciation for you, magic happens. Namaste.

Shadow Dance Within Your Legacy

2011-10-06T09:50:00.001-07:00

With the death of the true visionary of life, Steve Jobs is brings reflections on the focus the big picture of what we are creating in our lives. He followed his heart and completed life as a true role model for humanity. Leaving this physical realm, after speaking his truth, through his words and actions, creating and revolutionizing how people create, express and connect with the higher aspects of community. His focus being on the arts and music, the higher vibrations of humanity’s expressions; he changed the world for the better. By being true to himself, his dreams, intuition and gut feelings, he created his sacred adventure and legacy that will influence the world for many generations. The focus is now on what is the legacy you are leaving for the next seven generations?

As we focus on our creation within our lives, the shadow dance aspects may come into that focus to die. Within Shamanic practices, the shamanic death ritual is facing your deepest shadows and ego to remove and release those aspects by being responsible for your actions. Releasing what truly doesn’t serve your creation of the masterpiece you are becoming. The initiation shadow dance is the process and the test of looking within through the reflection of what you are attracting in your life, the mirrors that are playing that game with you by showing who and what you are creating now in your life. Longevity of the association doesn’t justify that you benefit from the connection. It may serve to remind you of what is holding you back and what needs to be removed from your life to elevate your vibration.

Is who and what is in your life truly what you desire in your life? Have you let go those who held you responsible for your actions by focusing on the ego? Are those ego games still connecting with you and are you justifying their connection with you? Do you feel forced to take actions in the right or wrong direction for you to be the man or woman you have the potential to be? Are you in control of your creation or are you allowing the ego have control? Are you listening to your heart and truth or the ego and dark aspect of you?

The Shadow dance is the balance of the dark within your light, allowing more light to shine. Not always easy, especially if you allow people and situations that engage and trigger the shadow to have presence and acceptance in your present. Forgiveness of self and others is needed, though continuing the association in those situations may only deepen your darkness, the hard lessons and delaying your truth. By continuing the association, you may not be taking the responsibility for your life and allowing the shadows to continue to control your destiny. Total and complete release of the triggers must happen, if you truly want to grow into the true sense of your Self.

The deepening of shadow’s play removes more light. As you will not be following the inner knowing of who and what you want to attract into your life, you may be burning the bridges of the very people who brought out the light out in you. They told you your weaknesses and brighten your light through the exchange of inspirations and perceptions. Those are held up that mirror to assist you to realize what you are creating in your life. The choice is truly yours to make. It is your responsibility to create the life you truly deserve. Your words and actions are your legacy.

You must make the decision of who you connect and attract. With those who bring the best out of you toward your true aim or let your shadow may have pushed them out. You do deserve the best and those who bring the best out of you are what you are looking to attract into your life when you will as you follow your gut and not your shadow’s dance. It is time to shine the brilliance you truly can be by embracing to your true self’s reflections into your life and change the world for the better with your legacy.

Balancing Your Focus

2011-10-05T09:14:00.001-07:00

The air of balance and the understanding everything is good, regardless of the first response to it. You created in some form and it is time to take the responsibility. Embrace, acknowledge and move forward with the needed changes. You don’t need it anymore. The creation lives only as long as you give it energy, being a project, relationship or thought.

These days, the feelings and expressions come from the place can be uncomfortable as more changes can be happening, through force or choice. It is all for the best and for that reason, known or unknown. Lessons and reflections are continued with good humor after the initial wondering of what the hell? What is the purpose? Generally the reasons do come if one is open to it and interested. The reasons are what they are. The paradox of the norm of life is to fully embracing it all. It is all rather amusing at the end of the day.

Imagines of the day’s dream we hold truly in our hearts come out through our words and action. Our deep creations of this life’s experience are through our relationships’ interaction. Friendships are being gauge as the creations develop and events unfold. The definition of friendship changes these days. More are looking at the gain/support through the friendship and longevity of the connection. Some friendships are true. You know you gain from the exchange and the feeling of deeper connection. With long moments of silence, it still grows and you are accepted. Others may have been just a moment of lessons. If not supportive and/or interactive, what is the purpose of the friendship?

Prioritizing friendships seem to be a part of the focus; connection without interaction are tending to fade out, especially if the communication is non productive. Most are keeping in touch or support in some form with the ones that mean something, through a comment or message to them. Others are fading out. New ones come in. Balancing the new nuance created with shifting focus and perspectives. Everyone has a purpose. It may be a lesson of discernment of where your focus and the value of your time.

We are all one within the oneness of all. Where the focus is, is where the focus is. If one doesn’t feelings resonate with the interaction, it is time to stop putting the energy in that place. If the friend is all just creating mind games of distraction and drama for their personal entertainment, it is your choice to continue or not. Is it really respectful for them to play mind games with you that way? Not really. I don’t take it personally. It is more one of those “what the hell?” moments. In reality, they are messing with themselves as their “friendships” may be damaged or end with that game. It is their choice to create that drama.

Life has enough mind games… why add to it? If you are bored, there are more constructive ways to use your time that benefit you and others. If you value your friendships, the time to show them is now.

I have learned about myself and others through years of observations of people’s need for distractions. With the technology, it is easy to find. I have been there myself. I have let go the need for the drama in my life and the people who tend to create it or enjoy it. I am finding the amount of ideas and inspirations gaining these days with progress in creating them. Progress and processing through new attitudes growing through the new perspective with the dreams building as the balance is found.

Some questions to ask are:

Have you found the balance in work and play? Is it constructive or destructive interaction at work/play with you and others? What lessons and observations are you learning through your connections of relationships?

We are all creating what the focus is these days. Balancing your mind, spirit and body will create an outcome for the highest good for all. Remember you are an artistic creator of your life as the masterpiece as it is meant to be. Be the best you can be.

Thank you for reading and commenting on the blog. You are greatly appreciated. Namaste.

Balancing the Beauty and the Value

2011-09-27T11:19:00.001-07:00

Ever the presence of love… in many beautiful forms. We only have to be open to seeing; feeling and believing in it and with this, being open to receive it. There seems to be some pre requisite expectation of where and when to “get it” and that is not the case. Any act of kindness, support and moment of a smile and a laugh… sharing your time with someone is love. Even yelling and fight in a form of passion, a form of love. There is only love around you and it simply knows to drop the attitude and falsities while embracing the simple things in life that makes it all real. We can get in our own ways through that four letter word... Fear.

How does fear serve us? Fear denies the truth of these moments as we may hold ourselves back or hit back with a negative thought or action. That expression of trust is between friends can become a drama trip if the ego (fear based ego). Still there is a love in this even as the ego may be fighting it the truth of that moment. There may be some strong emotions either way, yet love is present. What kind of love may be up for grabs with the fear based shadow dancing. Unity through the mutual fear can bring people together for the close of that karmic connection, again through loving attachment to the ego or drama of that connection.

On this day of the new moon filled with beauty and value connections, I smile of promise within a new sense of balance. Good things happening to friends and family; Growth and movement. Even with giving a bit of hard love is love. Letting go and letting it all be is a loving kindness and shows the acceptance and allowing just being. It may not be easy to let go though it there is something seem out of sync or out of balance.

Perhaps during these days of balancing, it will be found. Reconnection to self and that promise of balance will be gained. Beautifully letting the flowing essence of the balance within one self aligns with the cosmic conscious and that telepathic knowingness opens. All is one. Going these spaces where the dissolving Self becomes lucid into the conscious, like the magic wand waving to collects the thoughts and feelings of many. A reflection in one’s life and the greater good does come with the universal understanding of love.

The beauty and the value of people in your life may come through this time of new moon and with introspection and motivation you can strength those who strengthen you in friendship connection and understand you who and what you are dancing under the moon and stars, expressing the loveliness of the moment in laughter and smiling. Silence will be dancing with you. Be real, be true and understand you in this time of beauty and values in all things. Namaste.

Heart Connection through the Innocence

2011-09-15T06:09:00.000-07:00

The awe and wonder of the world, the universe … of love, friendship and adventure; the innocence of it all is beautiful. The purity of presence and feeling your true essence fully embodied releasing the material worries and concerns. The mind goes quiet and listens to your heart beat, your breath, your soul whispering gently with the truth of who and what you are. Those moments can be a little scary when the realization come through or enlightening to empower you to move forward in the flow of the river.

The river of trusting the unknown with the uncertainty comes trusting the insecure reality which is the true way things are. Fear comes up and then may fade away for a moment. Most people need security in their lives in some way, either financially, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Financially is the main though having the emotional based of support is so very important… knowing you aren’t alone in this big world. We all connect with the person we need at that moment, and some may leave. They may return with changes made. Remain open in your heart and discern the reasons for connection. See what you are gaining from it. If you are seeing or gaining a betterment of self through changes and example, embrace that friendship. Friendships are for support and growth. If they don’t push you, you will become stagnate in your beingness or they will fade out of your life.

We are not ever alone. We may be lonely and seek the temporary comforts of another with a moment of connection. That human touch is vital to humans, that human interaction. It can teach you a thing or two about yourself with that mirroring effect. The games may come as you are reaching out for a sense of belonging, only to have other’s fears of seeing something in them lacking causing them to react. We are all the same and equal in different shapes and forms. There is no need to have expectations or conditions. We are in each other’s lives to experience the beauty and grace of all of it. The fear of connection can bring up intimacy issue when you can’t touch the person.

I think about the pen pals I have had and still do through social networking. Writing to unknown people and the pleasure and joy I got out of it. As a kid, I did this with the Vietnam personnel and their families. I didn’t meet the pen pals during that time, though now I make an effort to meet the people I am connecting with through the social networking. I don’t know if I made a difference in their lives. I know they did my life. I have a great appreciation of life and human life with the different cultural attitudes and beliefs.

Connection of the innocence within you brings the trust of self to the surface. You have learned all the heart hardening lessons and yet you still trust your fellow humans, knowing that they have gone through shit too. We are all the same. We are all afraid of the changes, and we all need each other to get through. The mirror you attracted into your life only shows you what you wanted to see…the good, the bad, the liar, the lover, the shallow, the ego, the brilliance, the beauty, the beast, the Goddess and the God we all are. You in the past, present, future are who you are connecting with now though all means. We are all looking for that balance in our lives. Kindness and truth be your best friends to self and to others. Allow the connection to fully open and explore you in the process. It will only deepen the relationship with you and the human race you share this world with, in person or in distance. Embrace the fears that come up in you as it does in them. See all of you in them and see their innocence through the games you play with yourself as the other play with themselves within the dynamics. See the interdimensions dancing inside of them… the fear of not being good enough, insecure and restless. Is that button being pushed? See the truth of the beauty and brilliance of everyone with the understanding of this simple fact may change your life for the betterment of all people you meet along this journey and adventure. Bring the wonder and awe out of the people you meet and know the brilliance of you shines with a smile upon your face that is reflected on their faces too with seeing it or not.. ~Namaste.

Ego... Is yours for the "sin" of it?

2011-09-12T11:03:00.003-07:00

Silence with Full moon in Pisces in the 12^th house today, meaning what is hidden is revealed in some form. I am smiling this morning and retreat into my world in good humor as I finally get detached from the inner games of the oneness or the understanding of the game. There is no separation between us so if one struggle, we all be in that struggle with them. That mass consciousness. So as I look and feel the thunderstorm brewing outside, hearing the noise and flashes of light in the skies, it is the same as that person feeling guilt, confusion, and doubts with wondering.

These days the empathic essence of us is fully open and alive with the new nuances that are arriving. The ways of the heart are blessings as the shifting energies of friendships and understanding gain new growth through the touching of realizations for each of us. The last few days, I have had those storms inside my head and fully aware of the conscious connection we share and I send love, light and forgiveness to myself and others. Why forgiveness? Forgiveness purifies the heart, knowing the truth is we are all here to experience our choices and deal with the consequences as a way of better understanding ourselves through the mirror. We may tend to or have gone into denial about the whys and what for’s, yet the denials only darken the situation with the half-truths that are lies we may be told ourselves. The ego gains the reasons for doing this or that and the pleasure of being “right” and all for that reason. Really? One moment while I check in with my ego. Oh that mirror.

Is there a reason to justify something if it is just exploration, if no guilt is associated with it? Out of the egos hard-line stands that it has a reason to be and to have control of our actions? It is the attraction to “guilt” found in the exploration of sin, neither in error nor mistakes. The idea and the illusion of sin will continue as long as the ego yearns for the guilt and the punishment for the “sin.” The mind and ego dance until it breaks away from this illusion of justifying the punishment of oneself. Sin or evil is felt to be unchangeable and desirable of the ego as the punishment helps preserve this belief, treating sin with respect and honoring its enormity. It becomes what is real and won’t let go of its appeal while that exist. It is all about worthiness issue we may have and continue to justify.

A simple change of attitude and thought form belief that it was an error of judgment or a mistake calls in love to heal the situation. We are all worthy of love. The Grace brings its smile and love will bring it to a new understanding of self and healing.

So ask yourself these questions:

So is it just for the sin of it that you do what you are doing?
Is the reason for the acting out to gain through the punishment, so you go against your gut feeling and doing what you know it not for your highest good?
Are you addicted to the feeling of guilt and denying your inner truths for the pleasure of the punishment of guilt?
Is your ego’s persona what you truly want to live or just for the attention you gain from the punishment of not committing your self to what your dreams are for you? Or the reaction of the person or the dream leaving you through your self sabotage behavior?

I am gaining a new respect for myself through seeing the different aspects of the worthiness issue that is abound. The ego with confidence or the ego with guilt; two different essences of the same creature is what we are looking at in this situation. It is the motivation of the ego in balance that we aim for these days while exploring the inner depths of Self, accepting all of this as it comes up.

As Master Osho says of the ego:

“You watch your own life: many things you are doing only because of the ego. You want to make a big house. You may be perfectly comfortable in your house as it is, but you want to make a big palace. That big palace is not for you, that big palace is for the ego. You may be perfectly comfortable as you are, but you go on accumulating money. That money is not for you; that money is for the ego. How can you rest unless you have become the richest man in the world? — but what are you going to do by becoming the richest man in the world? You will become more and more miserable — because misery comes out of conflict. Misery is an indication that you are in conflict. So don’t throw your responsibility on something else.

The ego is always an effort to go upstream. People don’t like to do easy things. Before they want to do them, they want to make them hard, difficult. People enjoy doing hard things. Why? Because when you face a hard thing, your ego becomes subtle, sharp; there is a challenge.”

So what is the truth of your situation now? Are you feeding the ego for punishment and for the challenge? What are you really gaining for this attitude with all is love? Do you doubt your worthiness to love and be loved? In truth, you are love and loved. That is the heart of the trusting this simple reality and that all of this means nothing. So why work so hard and punish yourself in the process. Surrender and see the different ways of being. It allows and accept the truth in trusting the worthiness of your beingness.

Let the brilliance of your heart and soul... be received by all that witness the true essence of the passion you deliver in love and being loved. Namaste.

9-11 Haunting Reflections and Silence

2011-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Ten years. Amazing how much has happened, yet hasn't in these ten years. September 11, 2001 changed the world in ways that are still being felt and endured, especially in the US and the Mid-East as the war continues over oil, not really caring about the people involved. Not really and at a huge sacrifice. Yet, what has been learned through this experience since that day that shocked the world and ripped the innocence and arrogance out of the American minds. We thought we were above it all, didn't we?

I know I did in some ways and I have been humbled many times since that day and have a very realistic view of the new world coming. It won’t be pretty for a while. It is that reality check that Americans are going through for the last ten years now. The financial institutions and corporate greed with the American Government blessings it seems. Well, it was the people’s blessings as well as we did elect them into office. Silly us. All those good intentions of the empty promises that is now bringing us to a place of waking up and understanding the shit we have our selves into … about chest high now. This is making much of a change now won’t do much yet; more to come, so hold onto your hats and wallets.

Ah, yes, the reasons this all started was the greed of a few people that decide to start a war would “help” the American economy. Who were they fooling?

I wasn’t fooled when this happen on September 11, 2001. I had gotten a sign while driving to San Diego on September 7. The metaphors of a broken bracelet into four pieces and a white SUV (gas) driving pass me with the numbers 825 on the New York license plate. Eighth hour, the twin tower and a five sided building (Pentagon) broke apart; plus the plane that missed its mark. Bless the souls of those people on the planes and ground. Well, bless us all who were there and are here now. Trouble times started then and continue as the reality of the American way gone bust. It is all a blessing. We must break down ourselves to let the new come in and not buy the “illusion” that the media, corporations and governments are telling us. Too much is out there on this to prove other wise. Too many loop holes and too many reasons this doesn’t feel right.

I was told to meditation because I was giving a sign that more was going to happen in the northwest. So I did, holding Jet stones. I got a call from someone in the Air Force asking for the message I had for him. He had a dream about the 9-11 deal two years before or maybe he knew for two years before that it was happening. I told him about a nuclear bomb being testing in the Mid-East would set off a chain reaction in the lower corner of Washington, Oregon and Idaho, causing an earthquake and volcano eruptions to happen. The bomb hasn’t gone off yet, though it is the autumn time that I saw this happening. Mass destruction has been happening with the earth waking up her self with earthquakes, major storms and other strange occurrences.

Now this anniversary, it is looking like the beginning of the revolution of the US. I sit calmly, knowing it is all for the highest good. It is all unfolding nicely and it will be win-win for all. The planets are aligning for the higher vibration to come in and all the predictions have been in placed for the last decade or more.

So on this September 11, take a moment to step outside, take a deep breathe in and out, hug a tree, count your blessings and make sure you tell your loved ones you care. That is the one thing most of those people on those planes and buildings didn’t get to do… I have felt and heard them ever since and it taught me not to waste a moment not to be in a loving state and make sure tell those I love just that. I appreciate their gifts to us… and there are many, especially living in Tucson where one of the babies born on that day died in a recent shooting. That is one I can do for their memories. So know you are loved, hugged and appreciated by many, including me. Remember to take care of yourself and those around you… we are in this together and only together are we going to make it through this grand leap of evolution and revolution.

Paradox of Silence and Noise

2011-09-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

The day’s mixed emotions as I experience the paradox of living during this time of the Silence and the Noise of Humanity. I sat outside in the predawn air, watching the new day emerging and sensing the beauty of the Silence surrounding me. I reflected on the experience of hearing the humanity while on a recent visit to Los Angeles. I lay in bed, listening to the sirens, traffic and people outside… Screaming loudly, “What do you want from me Man?” “What do you want?” I thought these interesting questions to be here at this hour and the refining and confirming moments that are happening now. The releasing and reorganization of my life now, knowing some of the situations I am releasing are just a temporary moment until things get realigned into the higher perspective and facing the fears that linger within all of us in some form. Reorganizing after the letting go of the false and old beliefs that had be holding us back. Now is the forward motion for me, as this trip to LA let me know… how right on track I am; things unfolding with asking and the action towards the goal. New opportunities are appearing and old dreams are coming alive bring the passion surfacing in a new light and connections to support me. I am following my heart and it is guiding me that right place and actions.

Some of the reflections, like the paradox of the Silence within the Noise of Humanity bring inspirational thoughts into writings… and I do enjoy the new life I am creating. Letting go of the past in literal ways and new understandings coming from the Silence of situations still being guided in the highest form toward the right goal is all I can embrace and give gratitude for each moment. Hindsight on some situations guided me to focus on my strengths and toning the inner voice and physical body with a new persistence and joy I am finding along the way. I know that healing within myself and closest relationships, including my family. Patience is needed as the shifts of healing and growth are occurring with all of us. We are making huge leaps within this time of now.

We are taking back our power and becoming our true self in authenticity as we experience the ego’s dance with truth through the connection with others. We see the truth and it is up to us to reclaim and hold firm to those choices we are now making our priorities in our journey with who we want to share this journey, even though we may have a temporary break with some. We are doing what we feel is for the best for the situation or the journey.

With these choices for our individual journeys, having compassion and forgiveness brings a harmony to all. Be present and understand the emotions of the ego’s motivations of some are not for your highest good and discernment is a lesson to heed.

I have found the strong energies of Goddess Kali around me and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. I do feel I am following my inner guidance allowing many to find their own way and I don’t want to be in the way for others to trust their guidance and gut feelings. To find the balance within them as I do the same for me as the friendships have a firm foundation now. Being secure within myself and have a trust of the friendship brings us to a place of growth and the connection can not be lost. It is always there and a simple hello away. I am focusing on the creative expressions, listening to the inner voice and knowing all is safe and taking care of in the highest respect for all. Breathing in the paradox of this now time illusion and making the best of what is available for me now. We are all in this together and understanding the amount of change can bring opportunities of growth in ways we were not expecting, though we will make it through as we step into the next level of Humanity's Noise and the Silence in balance. Namaste.

A Moment's Thought

2011-08-25T22:46:00.001-07:00

These are the days of insights and realizations…where and when illusion fades and in some ways, do the old ways of being, doing and thinking. When you open your heart to your intentions, your dreams and do the dance to make it happen. At times, you have only yourself to rely on and be self-reliant, through the faith and trust in your inner voice guiding you.

At times, discernment is needed to understand the instruction or direction you are feeling and other times it is as easy as it being written on a piece of page and handed to you. You smile with it is that easy. At times, you get this grand idea and move forward with it, gathering support and all that you need to make it happen. The outcome ought to be better than expected, yet falls short in some way… some detail not thought through or of in the process. Other little things take a life of their own and prosperity with little effort or details… a life of its own. Spirit truly is working this alignment with the energies around. Silence can be your best friend during all of these times. ~Namaste.

Sharing While Living One's Own

2011-08-17T06:14:00.001-07:00

The universe gives you sign that something is close and you need to pay attention to the nuances around you to understand what is available to you or what dream coming true. This may be in business, family, friends or other relationships. I have been seeing the kind of relationship around me the last year I have been looking for in a multiple of ways.

Deep committed friendship with supportive independence interwoven to allow each person to be their own person, living their individual dreams yet have that supportive partner there to share the good and bad times with each other. It has been a pleasure to witness such relationships around me. Some are married and others just have a deep commitment to the partnership, not needing the piece of paper to prove it.

I have had some rather less than wonderful experience in relationships and now have learned much through them and seeing how these couples do it. One such couple is my parents, who being married now for 57 years being a wonderful example for me. Each of them have their own careers, dreams and each has achieved much of them with that person standing next to them supporting them through the trial and success. This is the way I was raised to be. A woman standing by and supports my partner’s dreams as I did in my 19 years marriage. We were great friends first that helped each other figuring out our individual dreams and my ex has thanked me for being there for him. Our friendship grew apart and we let go of the marriage as friends, knowing it was time to move onto others. His current wife thanked me for training him so well. Ha.

Today, I have friends, Randy and Linda who knew each other since high school, dated and then realized he was being a total ass and went different ways. Both got married, divorced and met again. They both grew and now share a committed friendship relationship over ten years, not paperwork needed. Both live their lives, sharing and being each others best friend. Each has their own friends, doing their own thing, yet share every thing with the other. Open communication and devotion. I see, feel and sense the love and commitment they share with good humor and passion for life. Each accepts and allows the other to be whom and what they are… to follow their own hearts and live their dreams and with that…they share a deeper commitment to each other. They know the other will be there for them. No questions, possession, or jealousy is needed. Totally trusting and being. It is a beautiful thing to witness. This is what I am looking for and I know I will share with someone soon. It is all about trusting my heart and following it, not allowing the outer situation dictate my reality. I know this man is not in my current location. I have known that for some time and now it is time to move on and live my dream with true friend and partner. Many people are looking for such a relationship and I am personally open to receive such a blessing.