Articulate

Here to the most meaningful birthday yet- The Beginning!

2022-10-09T06:45:00.006-07:00

I've had pretty beautiful birthday celebrations! But, nothing tops this one yet! It was a multi-event birthday! So here we go!

The first event, I'll keep with me forever! My office planned an all day fun-trip for Thika Primary School for the Blind Grade 6 students. I told my colleague, I want in and that's all I needed for my birthday. I needed something meaningful, so I checked off my photoshoot birthday celebration to spend time with these kids.

A beautiful sunny Saturday morning, I took a cab to the Giraffe center to meet the kids and their teachers. Of course I arrived late coz I couldn't decide what to wear! But finally there I was- in an oversized white shirt and black shorts.

I was in such high spirits, met the kids as they were leaving a lecture where the professional was explaining all about giraffes. I'm hugging everyone as I'm familiar with most of these kids and some of their teachers.

We head to where the giraffes were, and we're handed pellets to feed the giraffes. I was camera reeeeeaaady! It was such an amazing feeling watching the kids reacted to the rough giraffe toungues as they ate the pellets off their hands. They were screaming in excitement, and some running back and forth after feeding them. It was beautiful. They only knew about giraffes in theory but here they are, touching and feeding giraffes. Magic!

Some of my colleagues are blind, so I was helping directing them to where the giraffes were and they were feeding and touching them. It was magical seeing the excitement on their faces. We were all kids singing in the bus and telling jokes. These kids are good at dad jokes.

We left for the Nairobi National Museum where it was definitely a highlight for each of these kids. From feeling the skulls of animals and ancient humans, touching different types of fish, to touching and feeling the metal art representation of biggest elephant to ever live in Kenya- Ahmed, and to finally having snakes put on their bodies and having them interact with them and turtles. Touch and feel is how these kids can relate, it was so nice of the staff members to make allow them this moment.

They were so brave I had to do it! The video below shows me masking fear to have a python placed on my hair but I finally ran to safety.

I had a moment to give a talk and encourage the kids and finally them singing happy birthday to me was everything I could ever wish for this year. I loved every moment with them. Remember these kids are blind, so for the staff members to take their time and allow them to touch and feel so they can relate is the only way they could learn, one said this was not in her wildest dreams.

My birthday was the next day on Sunday. A beautiful 2nd October. My most exciting day of the year, and trust me I have many. I woke up and went to Church. Afterwards, I went to join this group of a newly formed Christian Fellowship Union which for a crucial planning meeting as we're about to be commissioned. I called my Mum afterwards and she said she'll be me lunch later that day. I went to do my nails, and even had a pedicure. Oh how my legs were glowing after!

I went back home and changed into this beautiful short sky blue and white dress, tights, a white coat, and white sneakers and headed to this newly opened and beautiful restaurant. It's such a beautiful open air space with different decor, design and beauty on every side you look at. Just what I needed!

I found an amazing spot at the center that would allow me see around the restaurant. A waiter came in and I asked him I'll eat everything he recommended. So, first this colorful and tasty blueberry mocktail, followed by sumptuous beef brisket, fries and salad, and finally cake and ice cream for dessert. They added a 'Happy Birthday Essy' coz I had told the waiter it's my birthday. I was having such a moment when they did this whole thing with candles, flames and delivery with about 5 handsome waiters. Loved every moment. Almost everyone walked to wish me a happy birthday, afterwards, too much 🙈, shout to Mary and Karen who were seated at the table next to me for being such amazing spots.

On my way home, I walked home to flowers at my doorstep from this guy, we'll call him Handsome Greg for now. Thank you, they were absolutely beautiful. To think it was finally over, gifts started streaming in that night in different shapes and forms. The next day at work, my colleagues ordered two versions of cake and one of them added non-alcoholic wine coz I don't drink duuh! Joanne, you're such an amazing human.

Every moment really touched me this year. The overwhelming messages of love and wishes, gifts, cakes, and the thought my people put into it. Thank you all so much I wanna thank everyone of you who remembered my day. I feel blessed, and I hope this will be the beginning of all good things. Amen!

Thank you!

Here's to a different, meaningful kind of birthday. I look forward to a more graceful year, and one that would help me help even more in my own kind of way.

Here's to growth. Here's to taking over!

Amen!

Reflections from my hospital bed!

2022-09-29T16:03:00.004-07:00

So.., if you follow me on social media, you're already aware I had been hospitalized for about 4 days last week. From simple tonsillitis symptoms to being admitted with Grade 4 Tonsillitis! I didn't even know they had grades! But, all I know is they were so huge that I couldn't eat, talk or swallow anything!

A photo of me holding a bouquet of flowers in bed.

After 4 days of over the counter medication, I kept getting worse by day until that last night when I was weak, freezing, and fever was up the roof! I gathered everything in me to get up, get dressed warm enough including hoodie and a trench coat, and called an Uber! I knew I had to be in hospital or something bad would happen in 20 minutes or less! I was so weak, and remember, I couldn't speak so at the hospital, I just pointed to the Tonsillitis, signed I couldn't speak, tossed my health insurance on the table, and the nurse helped me to a Doctor's office where I was immediately admitted in the casualty ward. I was there for about 3 hours as they managed my fever, pain, and inflammation of the tonsiltis.

The Doctor later came to tell me I'll have to be admitted given the fever (40°) and how inflamed the tonsillitis were. That's how I ended up admitted for 4 days in the hospital.

I cannot emphasize further the importance of family and the miles your family would go for you, at least for me, they were all I saw for the entire period while in the hospital.

My siz and parents kept calling that night so many times just to know the progress. The next day, my Uncle checked in at 6am, and was later followed by my Aunt, his wife and my cousin Gracy who's currently her dad's caregiver. Bless her heart!

The extrovert in me was checking in on other patients on day 2 as I could speak a little better. That second night, someone was wheeled in the next bed to mine, and I could immediately tell she was a happygolucky, all jolly with the nurses, and I knew I had to make a friend in her.

Next morning, I pushed the curtain away with her permission and we started talking. Her right leg was raised, and I later found out she had had a knee surgery. But damn, wasn't she vibrant! A good storyteller too. Hours later we are taking selfies with Mary and we're the loudest in the room. By Day 3 evening, everyone I had checked in with had been discharged including Mary, so loneliness started kicking in, and I really just wanted out of there. My Doctor came in and told me he'll discharge me the next day if I responded well to the medication. That same evening, my boss sends me a really beautiful bouquet of flowers and it made it up for everything then. Flowers make me so happy.

A photo of Mary and I in our beds.

You should have seen me proving to nurses and everyone I was okay, incase they needed to tell the Doctor. God bless Dr. Mwangi, my namesake, he a cutie! I was totally checking him out by day 3. Didn't see a ring either, leave me alone! 😂 Not that I was looking!🙈

Day 4, I woke up early, showered, had breakfast immediately after it was brought to me and I started watching a movie on Netflix as I waited for Dr. Cutie to come and discharge me. He comes in two hours later, and assures me all is well and that I've been discharged. Yipeeeee! I call my Aunt to come help me with the discharge process but I ended up staying at the hospital till 4pm, I even had lunch! Aunty Mso comes, I dress up, and off we went. I reported to work on Monday, albeit weak, I really needed to do something immediately and get off the hospital vibe! I must admit, I'm a workaholic! 😅

So many thoughts came to mind as I laid there, for hours and hours, days upon days... staring at the same ceiling and listening to other people's pain. Here are some....

1. Family first, always, and forever! Can't emphasize this enough! Take care of them!

2. You're dispensable, even when you're really key, the office will still function without you. Don't kill yourself over work!

3. Friends... Have lives to live. Can't be mad at them. People are busy. Know your place!

4. Flowers make any day brighter!

5. Be nice to people, especially those who you don't think of as important - cleaners, drivers, guards, they'd go a like for a stranger. Thanks to the cab guy and guards that fateful night, I made it to the hospital safe and sound.

6. Accessibility is important, everybody needs to learn sign language.

7. Medical insurance. Take one. Now.

8. Take a break when you need to. I have neglected my health over work a lot.

9. Call people up when you cannot be there for them. One call makes a huge difference.

10. Make friends. Anywhere. Anytime.

11. Hospital beds are not comfortable!

12. Private rooms in hospital are lonely when you're sick! Only take them if you're having a baby!

13. Again! Take that medical insurance!

14. Listen to your body!

15. Learn to ask for help!

Love,

Essy

Dating Pool Updates!

2022-09-10T04:43:00.003-07:00

Hello there...

So, last time I talked to you, I shared I was too lazy to fall in love or meet people. Well, I have some updates...

Allow me to digress for a bit... I promise you the updates has not been forced upon me, but I feel I need to share context of why relationships can impact how you take criticism differently based on whether they come from a place of love, curiosity, or ridicule!

I have a very lovely relationship between my Mum, sister, and I. Booooy! When I tell you they bring the need to change my relationship status, they come swinging, it's always all love and reassurance, so I'd never take it as pressure. I can't even begin to tell you how hard my bestie has been trying to set me up on dates. We'll see! 😅

That being said, the last year has been an experiential kind. I've been stepping out of my comfort zone and into the dating pool. I even tried online dating and met a couple of interesting guys... Interesting is the key word here.

I have attempted a few dates but some didn't make it past the talking stage coz if you don't know, I should tell you about just how many perves exist on these online dating sites. It's unsettling.

I hear stories, but I must admit, the few dates I've been on, thanks to my instincts, have been with gentlemen thankfully!

So, I'm not making any promises or getting you excited about a wedding or triplets soon... Lol! 😂 But, I'm glad I stepped out, and still stepping out. Boy, I do step out for real!

Funny thing is... I'm way past 27 bridesmaids dresses 😂😂😂. I intend to lead the pack y'all! I joke a lot being the right #guestforhire but for real, invite me to your weddings, I'll come baring fashion gifts and another for you! It's my excuse to dress up and buy expensive shoes! 😅

Anyway, where were we? So, I'll keep trying this dating pool, and I look forward to having lots of fun while I'm there.

Let's do this! Shall we Mr. Right?

Love,

Essy

TOO LAZY TO FALL

2021-01-15T14:54:00.004-08:00

I write this with my laptop seated on my lap at 10%

I am too lazy to reach out to the charger

Photo: Courtesy

The charger that is just a reach away

I must admit I am too lazy

I am too lazy to reach out

Too lazy to reach out to my feelings

I am too lazy to search within my heart

I am too lazy to get out of my head

I am too lazy to fall in love!

I am too lazy to work so hard for the unlikely

Too lazy to invest in heartbreaks and divorce

Too lazy to believe in a happy ending

Too lazy to see past the 21st century trend

Too lazy to see that mine may be different

Too lazy to love the wrong one

Too lazy to lend my heart to a crash landing

Too lazy to be vulnerable

Too lazy to lift the hammer and break my walls

Too lazy to fall in love!

I am too lazy to try

Too lazy to meet new guys

Too lazy to dress up for dates

Too lazy to reimagine long-term

Too lazy to see love differently

Too lazy to sort genuine from fake

Too lazy to try to accommodate a non-existing fairy tale

Too lazy to be invested

Too lazy to fall in love!

Too lazy to time my ticking clock

Too lazy to find a better match

Too lazy to let go fears of yesterday’s hurt

Too lazy to crawl up my high walls

Too lazy to be vulnerable

Too lazy to walk past my insecurities

Too lazy to learn how to love again

Too lazy to do the required dating assignments

Too lazy to find the one

Too lazy to fall in love!

Photo: Courtesy

Too lazy to confess it

Too lazy to admit it

Too lazy to tell the one

Too lazy to see past how weak my knees fall at his sight

Too lazy to frown at the glimpse of his smile

Too lazy to admit he is special

Too lazy I panic and self-sabotage

Too lazy to fight for what could be

Too lazy to put in the effort

Too lazy to find a balance

Too lazy to fall hard

Too lazy to fall in love!

By Njeri mwangi

FINDING MEANING IN LOVE

2019-05-03T13:47:00.001-07:00

When you have been single for too long, you become very comfortable and okay with your space; doing things by yourself and whenever you want to. You can make very random decisions such as traveling out of the country or changing jobs. You become very choosy with whom you let in and protective over those you love because you know what it is like when pain takes charge. If you still don’t get it, let me paint a picture for you through Suzan’s love life.

Suzan has been single for many years now and has almost forgotten what love feels like. Her past relationships left her scarred for life and scared her of dating. She now loves from a safe distance and once in a while flirts with the good looking guys who seem interested just to keep the fire burning. The real reason, however, is she would rather love from a distance than be vulnerable again on her way to a broken heart. She puts up a strong show and portrays a very strong personality outside which most times scares the bad boys away whom she has been very fond off in her past and that scares her a little because she has come to believe that is all she will ever get. That the good guys belong to a different caliber of women and that she is under a spell of only the bad boys, who are very good looking but can never love a deserving woman like her.

When she is all alone at her place, especially during the long cold nights when she is unwell but has to get up and fix the broken sink; the bulb; operate the TV manually now that the remote is lost in there somewhere and at the same time, make some soup, take her medication and still draw the curtains back, switch off all the lights before she tucks in. Meanwhile, her very Dramatic Boss is waiting for her to respond to some clients on the other side of the World and don’t give a sneeze over different Timezones.

On such nights, her pillow gets socked from all her tears and wishful thinking. She knows too well she cannot cry the next morning because she needs to look stronger than ever and even a little bitchy if that keeps off the Bad boys and nosy colleagues in the office who cannot stop asking her when she is getting married or having babies so she could join their glamorous Chama and Sunday Nyama Choma and BYOB shenanigans. She cannot be weak in front of them because that would destroy and break her into pieces she may not be able to fix back. Her tears are for her 8 White pillows ONLY! She knows she is not the problem and she recognizes very well that she is just unlucky as far as relationships are concerned. None of them has any idea what she has been through and I’m about to share her story with you.

She wasn’t always lonely. Suzan has been lucky finding love before, it just doesn’t last long for her. Back in High School, she was head over heels with a good looking, God Fearing guy who also loved to Dance. They loved each other so beautifully until he proved to be a Bad Boy. She then fell in love with another guy and it was pure bliss but that also did not last because fate had it differently.

She joined a reputable University and had her whole life planned, but the love bit was still as shaky as before and she knew there wasn’t lots of lack down that road. So, she fell in love with her books and the academic promises she made to her Dad who was looking forward to a huge Graduation Ceremony afterward. In her second year, Suzan met a guy she met online and soon after their first meeting, they were in a relationship. He was from a different religion but he ticked all her other boxes and not even Religion would come between them. They shared two years of love and everything beautiful. They would go out to dine and have fun- Suzan with her wine and shots of Tequila and her man with his Shisha. He would visit her sometimes after work as he was already working for a Magazine. Her story changed when her best friend moved in with her. She introduced them to each other; one thing led to another, they got out of control and had sex. She was so in love with the guy and this betrayal was too much too bear. She was hurt to the core. After 2 ½ years, Suzan had so much planned for them. She did not even know who hurt her the most between her best friend and who she thought was the love of her life. Unbearable pain but Suzan had to learn to live without her BFF and her boyfriend overtime.

It took her some time but she was open to love again 2 years later when she met a guy at one of her usual Karaoke hangouts. It was love at first sight. Her confidence, irresistible laughter, and Angelic voice won him over. Besides his witty Pick-up line, he was a Pilot, she was an adventurous explorer and she loved that. He asked to dance, she said yes and many dates followed. Two years later, Suzan was excited that she had finally found the one and that this time luck was on her side. As if fate wouldn’t let her, on one of their routine lunch dates, the guy broke sad news about having a 3-year-old Son and recently making peace with the Baby Mama. She would have taken care of his son. She would have been delighted to do that but No, he did not want her anymore. His face lit up when he spoke about his Baby Mama, she was his World now and Suzan knew there was nothing much to do about it. Suzan was heartbroken for months but she eventually moved on and focused on her career.

Suzan grew very skeptical of men and relationships. But yet again, she kept giving love a chance because she was hopeful that there was still someone out there for her. Yet again, during one of her random road trips, she met a very charming, witty and charismatic guy. She liked that he kept checking on his mum who was unwell then. Suzan had a close relationship with her mum so, she found that to be very attractive. Unfortunately for her, he was a full-blown Mama’s Boy who would not do anything without his mum. Not one thing. Mama had to approve just about everything: Moving houses; Color on the walls; birthday surprises; gifts; traveling… you name it. How does a relationship move forward if Mama has to be consulted over everything? She held on for a year but the break-up was inevitable. Despite his caring heart and polite nature, she couldn’t stomach everything else.

Her family and friends think she is very ‘Picky’ and ‘Selective’ about guys. To Suzan, they do not struggle; they just cross paths with their Partners and Boom! Babies and a happy marriage follows. They must be so lucky that every time they fall out of love, there is undying love waiting on the other side. “How lucky they must be” she wonders. She cannot even find one guy, just ONE GUY to be happy with. Her relationship status changes often with the next episode being worse than the previous one.

Suzan could no longer see Love for what it is. To her, love is unattainable. She does not really understand love and love does not get her either. Imagine getting lost all alone in The Grand Canyon, your backpack fell off the cliff with everything in it, it’s getting dark and you know very well Hypothermia would kill you at night without something to keep you warm. That is what love to Suzan. Suzan wants to find love so bad but she has already convinced herself that she is among the few women who never find their ‘Happy Ever After’ with a man. That is why she tries to fix everyone else’s relationship because she knows just what is missing and how that can be resolved quickly so the two love birds can fall back to their Fairytale and not end up as lonely. Sometimes, she is fixing all these relationship problems because she does not want her friends thinking she is jealous of them and what they have going.

She is now contented with her happiness and peace of mind. She has become a career woman who would spend over 18 hours working and she would still miss her desk while in her very comfortable Bed as there is nothing there for her but not so exciting thoughts. Her daily moves are quite predictable- Work- sleep-work with a pinch of fun. However, a part of her hopes that love will find its way to her in time and that it’ll cover up for all the lost time. The good thing is she has found peace within herself, I wish that she finds love again and be at peace with that love.

WHY THE DATING PERIOD FREAKS ME OUT

2018-07-12T11:47:00.003-07:00

Can we just skip to the part where we are married with a beautiful set of triplets, an amazing home with a huge balcony that overlooks the swimming pool, a dog and an exciting love story of how we met?

If you are a lady, past the age of 25, single and whose friends cannot wait to be your bridesmaids and are on your neck to go out and ‘meet some guys’, you probably relate to this topic.

We all agree that love is a beautiful thing… especially with the right person. I know, I should have just left it at ‘thing’.

I do not doubt that. But, it is the process before marriage that just wares me out. I give up just before the Quarter Finals. At the ‘getting to know someone’ stage of love. My God! You know, right before you even get to know their second name, hobbies and birth date and year- just imagine you now have to find out what they are allergic to and how many babies they may be having out there. Like they could be serial killers, but you can’t just dive into that question before all these mini-important details are revealed to you.

It is EXHAUSTING!

Then again, how many dates does one need before they can get to know all these fine points? Know him in and out. If there is anything like that. At all. The first few dates, you may just have to pretend like you chew very slowly, in slow motion and that you speak in a very friendly tone aaaaand you do not easily get freaking mad at the little things, let alone money.

Why money? Money is an important topic in marriage and in any serious relationship- you need to know how someone relates with money. They could be gamblers for all you care. BUT NOoooo, you have to wait until a few dates are covered before you address that important question. You may even get to drugs, and alcohol before you address money and sex- the two most vital things in any relationship just because you don’t want to seem like a gold digger leave alone ‘thirsty’ (read -sex deprived) woman.

Who sets the dating rules anyway? This is because some of the things I touch may be covered earlier on in the dating stage- depending on different people but, we always want to seem like Angels before we get down to important details. Like who set the rules? Please, do not seem like a relentless feminist too soon- so they say.

Now imagine having to seat there for over three dates, pretending like you like the person when all you are really doing is pretend to like them until you find out whether you really do. I don’t understand that either but that is what happens.

You get to a point in life where you are graced with maturity and a little bit of patience, may be even a pinch of hope that people may turn out to be what you really hope they should be. You guy, this may take more than five dates of disgusting food, annoying chewing sounds, poor taste of venue and lack of passion into something that may never be.

So, you occasionally reach out to the guys you know somewhat, at least with them you don’t have to pretend to be ok, when gas is building up in your tummy, you do not have to take their shit and you can tell them outright that they are being dumb, slow, cocky or even rude.

This is why women end up marrying guys they are already used to even if there is a whole World of wrongs with them.

Oh well, it is 2018, right? A year of trying new things, just like every year… LOL! I think guys should be coming on dates with a list of questions. Like both parties, we agree beforehand we shall bring a set of questions, just like a game night. Make it as real and as awkward as possible. Laughing and cringing makes conversations a lot more interesting. The whole traditional way of dating is boring to me. Like, really boring (Rolls eyes).

I think it is easier to know a lot about someone within a short time if you are having fun. How about hiking, rock climbing, road tripping, an exciting event? Anything but the traditional- Seat, Stare and Breathing Contest…. And a whole lot of tension that comes with it. Dating should be fun and chilled out. Not stuck up and pretentious. I believe.

So, to all the single mamaz out there. Go out and explore the World. Keep doing what you love. Travel. Read. Dance. Watch movies. Go on dates. As many as you can. Try blind dates. Feast on Ice cream and Pizza. Work out if you can. Enjoy life. Let that guy who is wasting your time off your mind. Allow yourself to meet all the Mr. Wrongs. Only from that mess, will you get to meet your Mr. and if you are lucky, live happily ever after. Let your man see you shining. Aaaaaaand, bring him home. (A note to self actually).

Let’s do this! All the best!

DEAR SINGLE FRIEND OF THE 'TAKEN' NAIROBI WOMAN - FINAL VERDICT

2016-08-04T06:25:00.003-07:00

About time, right?

It has been over two months since my last post or so. I have been trying to figure out a better way to fold my mind around this topic, now that I am on the other side of things. Ha ha!

In my previous post that addressed the taken friend of the single Nairobi woman, i received lots of feedback on my mail and most of it talked about how the single woman in that post sounded so selfish and 'unfeeling' of the taken Nairobi woman, she should at least be happy fr her friend and supportive.

My thoughts: AMEN TO THAT!

Dear Single lady,

I know how well you are doing, you chose to do it all by yourself. You chose independence, you chose to do you first before you could find love, you chose to do the right things for 'YOU' before you can settle for the 'WE'. Heeeey honey, the is nothing absolutely wrong with that, just one thing do you rub it in on your taken friend so much that it makes them uncomfortable. She is your friend, close friend remember???

She confides in you when she is hurting. Or did you forget you might have taken a stand to be single until you get a man that treats you right? She found hers, but like you know honey, nobody, not even you is perfect, ad at times the stupid mistakes we make, including your BFF's man catches up with us. So, she comes to you all the time to confide in you, because she trusts that you can have her back in such times.

It is too bad then if all she gets to hear from you is, "Men are this and that", "men cannot be trusted", "Umma do me", "Honey do not let him put you down" kinda speech. How can she trusts you when time after time all you show her is she did not think through it all before she allowed herself to fall in love with such a loser, well that is how it sounds sometimes, scratch that, ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

It is okay to be single btw, nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with that, and one of the reasons yu feel comfortable is because SHE MADE YOU COMFORTABLE, she told you it is okay, she let you cry your pain out when the last one failed. So fudge that happy to be single speech around her. Why would you want her to second guess her decision about her man?

BTW, the single ladies do not always intend to hurt you, they are just excited with the feeling of freedom after a very bad relationship, okay? Oh, good you knew that already.

Okay, let us make peace now ladies, shall we?

We all chose to be or not to be loved. We all chose to love or not to love. We all chose to fall in and out of love. We all have very good reasons, sometimes, emotional decisions of the choices we make. We do not have to explain why we do somethings. We should not be made to feel like we need to explain our position to settle for something we think is good for us.

The single woman does not need to have come from a bad relationship, she does not need to be with a man. The taken lady does not need to have to explain all the time to her single friend why she cannot hang out with her, she does not need to feel cautioned before approaching the single friend for advise.

IN THE END: We all made sober decisions, if you have to second guess yourself anytime someone makes you feel otherwise, then just may be honey, that decision was not entirely made.
Be you. Do you. Feel you. Pick the right friends.

DEAR THE ‘TAKEN’ FRIEND OF A YOUNG AND SINGLE NAIROBI WOMAN (PART A)

2016-05-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

Hello,

It has been a while since we last spoke. I here that nowadays you have a man who cherishes you a lot. I am so happy for you and your new journey in love. I hope all goes well for you with him and may the best come your way. May he be the Mr. Right, I am sure your mama is now eager to see you walk down the aisle; your friends should be looking forward to the day and I am sure they have been suggesting all that. Really happy for you.

I would like to SELFISHLYturn your attention to that single friend you only need once in a while when you need someone else other than your man or family to talk to. By the way, she has always been and will always be there to listen to you letting your heart out. Remember that is how things were before you were taken after your heart had been turned into a mess by that young man you had so much hope for of a lifetime together?

Have you ever taken time to think of how she is fairing besides you needing something that she might be of help. Not that this should be any of your business, but again remember I said this was going to be selfish.

I will for a moment like to drive your attention to how you let her in your perfect life, she may have wondered what was wrong with her? Not always true, but may be. When all you want to talk about is you and your man, your future plans, bae said this and that. “I will be meeting bae later sorry, I have to cancel” or “Nowadays, you need to call me earlier, so that I see if I had any plans with bae, coz you know he will be mad if I seem to favor you more than him.” You even afford to giggle after, this World though.

Fair enough, trust me you are right, she has to stick to her single lane and stop acting like we are all single and what not. BUT, did you not have a better way of turning her down, just like you are so thoughtful of your man, you may include some sensitivity when dealing with Miss. Bae-less in town. LOL, like you were not there just a while back.

Funny thing, men come and go, your heart has been played with some before, right? That does not mean that history will repeat itself. God forbid. Forget her, she might just be wishing you nasty, or so you thought. May be she is jealous of your love life and she is doing nothing to turn her bae-less world around because she is busy wishing. SMH, maybe she is not as beautiful. BUT, what if this new guy broke up with you? Don’t you think it would be a shame when you tip-toe back to her loving arms to cry your soul and let your frustrations out? Come on, that is not her job, but you make it look like that is the only thing that makes her matter. You may be right, but what are friends for?

So, today I just want you to stop being the judgmental and almost perfect spoiled young lady who only thinks of her tiny perfect little bubble. Remember, the single lady has so much time to herself, most of the time she has progressed more than you career wise, something you may need to borrow. Not that it is a competition or anything.

So, how about you think about where she is coming from before having to give her the many pep talks anytime she wants to include you into her fun escapades that you used to love. There are cute ways of being so damn honest with her anytime she calls you drunk and expects you to show up like you used to. Of course, things have changed, and may be your man has thrown in the idea of dropping her all together as a friend, you know bad influence. LMAO! If only he came into your life back then, maybe he would know better.

BUT, to you the single and busy career Nairobi woman, it is time you learn to do things on your own, because people don’t like to be reminded of where they have come from. Your life may seem lonely and sad and maybe needy now to all your ‘taken’ friends. Time you let go some of those friends who only think of you when they want to use you. Time to let go those friends who keep asking you to get a life, meaning you need a man to have the best in life.

The truth is, having a companion brings some really good tidings along with it, security included. You might want to consider having a man in your life, BUT only do so because you are ready and want to, and not because people think you should. It is your life remember, you have walked that journey before and it did not work, you need to be sure this time, so honey, take your time.

Lastly, lose anything and anyone who makes you feel incomplete. Anyone who gives you uncalled for drama, just because they think you have all the time. I am sure you are busy. Sorry, I was talking to you the friend of hers in her voice. Be the friend you have always been, otherwise let her go in peace. You have been there, allow her to heal before she falls in love again. Love is a natural process, let nature take its course.

Part B is coming in a few days, I hope you will have a change of heart then. Both of you.

IEBC TALKS ARE ONLY GOOD FOR POLITICIANS, AND HERE IS WHY.

2016-05-17T04:58:00.004-07:00

My sentiments on #IEBC. Let’s be real, shall we?

NO Policeman or woman is supposed to attack an unarmed citizen to the point they bleed, left disable or dead, the police are supposed to protect us from harm, not injure us.
BUT, 
You cannot attack an armed policeman with stones and expect to walk free. You cannot be walking freely around an area of protest and expect to walk away unharmed. Once the stones begin to fly, you will only be a victim.  
Hooligans are out to take advantage of protests to steal and let out their frustrations. They only bring so much pain to those who were out for peaceful protests. But,how are the police supposed to differentiate between the two? It has been weeks of pushing these policemen who are not even paid well enough to be running after you or reacting to the stones being hailed at them. So, if a fire is
sparked, they will blow. Who benefits anyway from all these but both sides of the political parties? Neither you, nor the police. 
For Mwananchi and Askari, it is a lose-lose situation. You will use too much energy and in the end suffer some injuries or even die. For what? At least, it is a policeman's job to fight any disorderliness, and what was your job again? Mondays are only bad, why would you want to add mystery to it?? Just WHY?
CORD and Jubilee should agree to disagree and settle whatever it is they feel the need to, without involving poor citizens who are willing to put their lives on the line for them. Speaking from a kawaida mwananchi side of view, either way, whether IEBC is in or out, only the politicians will benefit. It will not add food to my table, pay my bills, or free me from taxation (which I gladly take part). Like I have a choice?
Whichever way you look at it, only you, the foolish citizen will suffer when danger comes. These Politicians you are so willing to suffer for, will run for cover, under tight security, shielded from the tear gas and stones; while you are left to fend for yourself. No, you will not go down in history as a hero, because, let me ask you? Apart from your family, neighbors and lenders, who gives a shit
about you and your little world?
What did you expect? That they would take you in their car with them? Wait, they came in a car, you walked for miles, and for what??? It does not matter what side you are, you cannot allow yourself to be taken advantage of. I mean, none of the politicians care for you that much. They do not know you, and guess what, they do not CARE. If they ever visit you in the hospital, the damage will have been done, and they will be coming because media will have been invited prior. 

Honey, they do not CARE for your poor soul, if you were one, you wouldn't be any different. It does not matter who you stand for, it does not, because you, honey-pie, DOES NOT MATTER TO ANY POLITICIAN. The only time you matter is when they need that VOTE! But, they can always rig, so you still don't matter, not one bit. Stop fooling yourself. 
Come on. Politics will always be just that, POLITICS!! 
Love yourself some more, to never allow you to suffer or die at the cost of any selfish human being.
HONEY, LOVE YOURSELF SOME MORE. WON'T YOU?

THE TIME NEEDED TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE MARRIAGE- FOR EVERY AGE GROUP

2016-02-15T00:43:00.001-08:00

Don't you think some of us just get married way too early? We all know marriage is a lifetime deal for most people who do not believe in divorce.

No wonder the very high divorce rates currently, because we rush a little too fast.

Why would you get married just to plan on divorce late? Unless, unfortunately, things are really bad.

We all need some time to get to know someone before we can commit ourselves into a relationship, more so before we can hook ourselves to a lifetime commitment with someone.

The time one needs to at least say yes to a proposal, marriage or even a relationship of any sort differs with age. Teenagers need a lot of time to eve figure themselves out before they can figure their partner, it is for that reason that marriage to anyone below the age of 18 is illegal and 99% bound to fail, if you ask me.

It all depends on an individual who decides to get married in their early 20s, but it is very hard to know for sure if it is the need to love, peer pressure or just the need to get recognized by someone. Some relationships that seem to do so well in 20s, hardly get to see 30s. Anyoyne above the age of 40 has experienced success, heartbreaks and breakthroughs. They know exactly who they want, how they expect them to be, if they are ready and when to go for them.

Therefore, depending with how old you are you may need more or little time to get to open up to someone for an intimate relationship or marriage.

AGE (Years)	APPROPRIATE PERIOD
19-20	At least 7 years
21-24	At least 4 years
25-26 (Mid-rush)	At least 3 years
27-30	At least 2 years
30s	At least a year
40s	At least 6 months

'STAR WARS' STUNTWOMAN ARM TO BE AMPUTATED

2015-12-21T22:43:00.002-08:00

Generally, 'Star Wars' has been a very successful movie and is still receiving lots of positive vibe, following and love across the globe.

When all of us are very happy at the final outcome and Worldwide success of the movie, one woman who made most scenes achievable is facing arm amputation.

Olivia Jackson is the stunt woman who after crashing into a metal camera arm in September while shooting a high-speed motorcycle chase on the Johannesburg, South Africa set of the sequel had to be induced into a coma at the time.

This happened on the set of "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter."

In October she shared this on her Facebook page:

"2 weeks in a coma, brain bleed, brain swelling, severed main artery in the neck, crushed & degloved face, several broken ribs, paralyzed arm, shattered scapula, broken clavicle, broken humerus, broken radius & ulna, with an open wound and a 7.5 piece of bone missing, amputated thumb, torn fingers, 5 nerves torn out of the spinal cord.... not my funnest day on set".

Despite this, she has been very positive and grateful that she is still alive.

Olivia has also appeared in "Mad Max: Fury Road" and "Guardians of the Galaxy.

SHUT YOURSELF FROM "CAN'T"

2014-08-29T03:47:00.000-07:00

How many times in life have you thought you could never do something even if you wanted to? How many times have you complained that you did not do something because everybody thought you were incapable? Have you ever felt so stupid later in life when you remember how you would complain so much about the little things in the World only to meet a street kid so happy, without shoes and no idea how and where he/ she get their meals.

I was watching the video of a girl by the name Jennifer Bricker that was shared on Facebook by a friend, and before I got to finish watching, I felt so bad and angry at myself for taking life the way I did. This girl was born with no legs and I assume the parents were not sure how they would take it, so they abandoned her in the hospital.

A Good Samaritan and a woman with the heart of God raised her to think and believe that you can never say "Can't". The idea of believing she was capable of whatever it is in life that she wanted to do, made her so strong and capable that she started training as a gymnast at the age of 7 with the help of her adopted dad. She drew her love for gymnasium from Dominique Helena Moceanu who is a retired American gymnast by watching her on TV. She was a member of the Olympic Gold medal winning 1996 U.S. Women's Gymnastics team in Atlanta.

Jennifer later came to discover after questioning her adopted mum about her past that her last name was Moceanu same as Dominique's, later on after Jennifer wrote a later to Dominique with her birth certificate among other identity copies that the two were actually sisters. How wonderful to know that your inspiration is actually your sister.

Jennifer has since become a familiar face on the Television and has become an inspiration to many souls including mine. With the many medals to her name, how else can you think of making the impossible possible. This is true life story one that should make the rest of us who complain so much about unfair life is based on our selfishness and attention seeking, sit to think of how to be thankful.

Life cannot always happen in the way we want it to. Life does not always have to be fair to our wants and needs. There is 7 Billion of us, so life has to favor all of us at different points of time. I have learnt that not everyone will love me, leave alone like or even want to talk to me, but as long as I am doing the right thing, I should be able to appreciate me. We should also learn to appreciate other peoples' talents and efforts, this makes a whole difference to leave a smile on peoples' faces without having to expect a 'Thank you' note at the end of it.

The World would be such a wonderful place if we all learnt to be patient, appreciative, and receptive to who we are. Accepting our situations and working to better the situations without stepping on other peoples' toes will give life a new meaning. Helping the needy in the streets without questioning so much on why they chose you to borrow money and why they smell. Life is meant to be beautiful, make someone smile by tonight, trust you will feel a lasting satisfaction deep within, I so not mean you go about trying to please everyone because you will only get hurt, but make an effort to make life worthwhile.

My hope before I put my fingers to rest is that you will learn something positive from the video below.

Below find Jennifer's story:

EACH TEAR HAS A LESSON

2014-08-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

"No mistakes, no heart breaks can take away what you are meant to be"

- Mary J. Blige-

I write this not because I just want to write and fill my blog with one more post, but because of the story each one of us has to tell about how hard we have fought to be 'The Best'. I am personally at that point where all I need is to realize my potential and push myself to the very end to bring out the best in me.

You may relate your current episode of life to mine. Well, this reminds you of how many times you have been told you cannot, you are just a dreamer, you are too ambitious, may be you have even been overlooked by the people you expect to lead you to your dreams. Newsflash, no body leads no one to their dreams it is unto us to pick up our pieces and fix them at the repair junction.

Once you have shed a tear for something, you should be able to get up, think through the way forward and make sure, I repeat, MAKE SURE! You have learnt from that experience and that you should never find yourself in such. Go out of your way seek advice

from the relevant people when you really have to, ask questions and when nobody seems interested, go lock yourself somewhere and come up with a solution, that is the reason why you have the thing called "BRAIN" in your head. Oh, It is meant to think your way to solutions.

Well, this does not mean that the struggle is over, actually more will come, and the more will be tougher, rougher, harder, and might break you. You should always be ready to stand up no matter how hard you have been hit, or even burnt. When you come out stronger you will learn to believe in yourself more, trust in you a bit more and the best result will be that you can later stand up to defend yourself in a calmer and mature manner.

After this period, you will learn to love the burn, the tear and embracing the heart break will be more natural.

The mistakes we do over and over again is lack of self trust, self-beating and being so unforgivable to ourselves. You have been told in the Church or Mosque to always forgive other people. But, I think the first step every individual should learn is to understand you as a person, forgive you and love you.

Here is what I think, you cannot change what people think of you or how they take you, what you can change is your period and level in life. The minute you become better, the minute you hug success, even your best enemy will have something positive to say about you. In the end that is what you wanted people to think of you as something special, there! work towards that, you will attain it. You are what is stopping you.

Each tear should definitely have a lesson, and the lesson should have reason as part of the ingredients. Forget what people say, may be this is harder than is put, but what I think matters, is what you think of yourself, if you believe you are nothing close to good, no one else can change that but you. Begin embracing the fact that there is only one you in the whole wide World, again this can be really hard, but well trying has always been the first step to one realizing the full potential.

Come on now, go out there, GO GET YOUR DREAMS, I AM TOO.

LEARN THE LESSON THAT OUGHT TO BE LEARNT BY EVERY TEAR SHED!!!

Below watch the Official Music Video "Each Tear" By Mary J. Blige ft Jay Sean

MA YAN YAN- THE BEAUTIFUL TALENTED MAGIC CHARM

2014-07-21T01:20:00.001-07:00

She makes it seem so easy to do....

No doubt that this is among the best talents in the World see for your self. Now, if this does not challenge you to go hard on your talent, I wonder what will....

12 SIGNS YOU ARE LAZY- KICK THE HABIT ALREADY!

2014-07-18T02:10:00.003-07:00

BEHIND A GREAT MAN IS AN EVEN GREATER WOMAN, BUT BEHIND A LAZY MAN IS A LAZIER WOMAN!!

Laziness is one very annoying and addictive behavior. It s annoying as it encourages dependency on people and leads on to poverty, poverty mindset and pathetic irresponsible families in the future. This is one habit that needs not be encouraged by families and friends and by all means stopped. Below are the signs that one could be getting lazy or is already lazy.

1. Nagging/ Complaining
You will always find a reason to complain about the little things in life making everybody around you very, I repeat very uncomfortable. You are not satisfied with life and you are not ready to make it any better, so they would rather complain about it put the blame on other people.

2. Lack of Friends
Who would want to hang around a lazy person? We are human, so it is much better to go with the people who add value to your life and not the 'blood suckers'.

3. Nothing good about your life
When someone is not happy about their life, there is no way any one around them will be happy.

4. Too 'Praisy'
You will always want your networks to feel all so important around you. You cannot stop to tell them how great they are, as this is the only way you find it easy to get them to help you, as they feel like they have an impact on you somewhat.

5. Bed has never been sweeter
You hate to wake up early in the morning. you would prefer other people do the waking and bring food home for you to do the eating and silly conversations that surround the number of TV shows, movies, and series you have watched, if not the number of games you have mastered. You never lack a reason to not get out of bed in time.

6. Pissed about people not helping you
You are lazy, not willing to work but expect people to come to your aid anytime you need a helping hand. So, what happens is if your family or friends are tired of your lazy behavior and are no longer willing to promote your laziness, you cannot stop complaining of how mean they are and posting a thousand messages of how 'you know what you are doing', 'you are right' and 'God is on your side' kinda lonely messages on social media.

7. Blame Game
You do not want to take responsibility over your life or anything in life actually. You like to blame it on people so that you are off the guilt line. you take pride in other people taking your blame. you have already mastered the 'too nice' act that other people easily feel sorry for and are willing to take the blame upon them so that you do not start with the suicidal messages and threats.

8. Debts Tricks
Since you know people will not just easily help you anymore. You come up with strategic ways on how to squeeze money out of people's pockets. you develop trust with people and lend money promising to pay back, and never do. when people discover you are trying to get away without paying you get another debt to settle the first debt. So you end up always being indebted to people, by getting debts to settle prior debts; you will never be at peace with your life this way; only to become the most pathetic liar in history.

9. Not apologetic
Since you would rather blame other people for your pathetic life, you will not apologize for nothing and you always want to be seen as the one on the right side of things.

10. Parents are definitely not proud of you
If you think your parents are already complaining this is because they are on their way to cutting you off the benefits. I bring in parents, because most lazy people who do not want to work hard, want their bills paid and the easy way to do this is stick in your room in your parents' house.

11. No to any Advice
You do not like to be advised because you are not ready to come to terms with your super lazy self. You hate whoever questions your behavior and try to get more people to hate them by speaking ill of them. You do not want to be told anything as you believe, your time has not come, so you should be left alone. You push people away; the people who are reaching out to you in order to save you from yourself.

12. The Greatest Liar of All
Finally for all the above signs to exist you got to be very good with lies. You will lie just about anything to get people to sort you out. You lie to your parents to get money from them, you lie to your friends to get transport money or two bottles of beer, you lie to your potential girlfriend of coming from such a rich family; well, you lie about just anything.

Time to be real, get up and work, get real with yourself already!

15 THINGS TO LET GO TO BE HAPPY

2014-07-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

Luminita Saviuc is an inspirational writer and speaker with a mission to empower others. Be sure to check out her blog site, Purpose Fairy, for her powerful insights daily.

1. Give up your need to always be right.

2. Give up your need for control.

3. Give up on blame.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

6. Give up complaining.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.

8. Give up your need to impress others.

9. Give up your resistance to change.

10. Give up labels.

11. Give up on your fears.

12. Give up your excuses.

13. Give up the past.

14. Give up attachment.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

Credit: Purpose Fairy

This is such a great list. We all need to be reminded of these things and how truly powerful each and every one of us is.

10 REASONS WHY YOU WILL NEVER BE WEALTHY

2014-05-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

There are numerous ways that determine why one can either be wealthy or not. By wealthy, I mean enough investments and not just money lying in a bank; the kind that you can say your great grand kids need not to worry, yeah? Got it? We all have seen or know the wealthy people, may be even envy them and mostly wish you could be them.

One thing is for sure though, that you can not just sleep easy and wish to get lucky, you have to work your way to wealth and to maintain it you need a life balance and high degree of discipline in the ways you deal with money. Below are the 10 assured ways to never being rich!!! I could not just keep it to myself, I had to share with you, as like I said, who does not want to gain wealth??

1. Overspending

Blowing all your money each month is not a realistic pathway to wealth. Start tracking where your money goes each month, check where you can cut spending and save into a retirement account.

2. Not Saving Enough

Saving should become a priority if you want to accumulate wealth. Start with an emergency fund. Once your emergency fund is substantial, you can redirect small amounts toward other goals like mortgage or school, or even fun.

3. You Have Too Much Debt

Certain debts are a precursor to financial success, like purchasing real estate or starting a business; however, a high-interest credit card balance is not. Pay off credit cards with the highest rates first.

4. You Don’t Have a Plan

Without a definite, clearly defined plan, becoming rich will seem like an unbelievable dream. Putting together a financial plan may seem tedious, but you can get used to it.

5. Lack of an Emergency Fund

Experts say you need at least six months of income saved in case of an emergency. Life is tricky, and not having some type of safety net can turn a comfortable situation into a disaster.

6. Starting Late

Time is slipping by. Just like starting an exercise routine, the most difficult part about saving is getting started. Even if you have debt, a small income, or many expenses, you can save something, even if it’s only a small amount.

7. Complaining Rather Than Commit

Do you complain a lot just about anything or make excuses for not doing things. Old habits die hard; however, as long as you do nothing to change, nothing will change. Stop complaining and making excuses. Instead, take responsibility for your non-productive habits and concentrate on how to change them – and then do it!

8. You Live for Today, and Forget About Tomorrow

It’s no fun getting serious and thinking about retirement and all that stuff. Nonetheless, eventually it has to be done. Do yourself a big favor: Get rid of the ‘buy now, worry later’ attitude, and switch to a ‘save now, get rich later’ way of thinking.

9. Putting All Your Eggs in One Basket

You might get lucky by wagering all your money on one type of investment. Just like you might get lucky winning the lottery. But that’s not a strategy to live by, or for getting rich. Putting all your money in one place is not advised because it puts you at too much risk. Your investment portfolio should include multiple investments with varied levels of risk and ROI potential and liquidity.

10. You Just Don’t Get It!

Maybe you are the kind that think you might get lucky and land

a fantastic job, receive a big pay raise, inherit money, hit the lottery, or whatever! But ‘whatever’ won’t cut it if you really want to become rich. Yes, life is uncertain. No one knows what will, or will not, actually happen; therefore, why not focus on what you can control today? Get it together now and save yourself, in case someone or something else won’t.

Therefore: Get busy already, and work your way to wealth, legally though.

THE COOL DR. 'BILL' COSBY DOES IT AGAIN...WORTH YOUR ATTENTION!!!

2014-05-15T02:33:00.000-07:00

We all know him way too well for his real-talk but this time Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby has put his wisdom so well, regarding education...Enjoy...This is worth your attention...

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't, ...
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:

Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .....

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ......... And all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

~Dr.. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed..D~

EXAMS ARE NO ULTIMATE DETERMINERS OF DESTINY

2014-05-12T02:25:00.001-07:00

I have always argued from the view of exams being used in all wrong ways to decide who is 'clever' or who is 'stupid' or a 'fool'. Well, this is according to society and from the video below that I definitely agree with, the same society poses the most unthinkable as the norm and the non-human acts as human rights.

Well, I am an educationist, so I say the following from a personal experience of many years in school of which I am still a student, and yes, I love books, it is true that patience and hard work in academics bare amazing results.

Back to my argument, why would someone be thought of as stupid just because they did not much revise on the topics brought in the exam paper when all the 'clever' one might have done is get lucky on the topics that were set. I mean, the best crammers are considered the best students, not everyone is a good crammer, some may need more time to gather knowledge than others.

There is a very big advantage of considering students' talents and awarding them for being different and exemplary in extra curricular activities, I do not however say that the academic geniuses should not be awarded, all great efforts should be recognized.

By the way, a teacher is an individual who sets an exam from their own perspective of what are the most important topics according to their personal understanding. Therefore, if I am not very conversant with a topic and cannot connect with it, I have no other option but to suffer the consequences of a choice of a teacher who may already have put a label over my face. How terrible?

Again, some students may be very 'book-gifted' and they do not necessarily need to study to do well, while others work very hard, day in day out reading but they cannot be number 1's, therefore I believe that there should be different ways of rating students; from the historical, physical abilities, and emotionally basis. For example a hungry student and one struggling with domestic violence cannot be looked at from the same level with the one from a happy or well-off background.

If all these and many other factors are considered, no student should be labeled negatively. It is no wonder that most of these students drop out of school, because as a human it is impossible and unbearable living and functioning in the same environment where you are most unappreciated, misunderstood and stigmatized.

With all said and done, I do not advocate for cheating during exams, because there is a clear cut between an ungifted student and a lazy one. Lazy is a wake up call and not a stigma to the concerned students.

Well, enough said, watch this captivating piece of poetry for further deep awakening as far as this topic is concerned.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A BOMB EXPLOSION...GOD FORBID!!

2014-05-09T00:02:00.003-07:00

This is making rounds on whatsapp... As received;

Dear All,

Bomb explosions are becoming the order of the day in Kenya. They have actually turned out to be real and one cannot afford to brush them off as their impact is devastating! Though it is not expressly possible to stop their occurrences, something can be done to reduce the fatality and injury rates through awareness initiatives.

Today, I will share with you information related to “WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A BOMB EXPLOSION”.

Most explosives are designed to detonate in a "flower bouquet" pattern throwing the bomb fragments horizontally between two and six feet above the ground. This pattern escalates the likelihood of hitting standing humans by these fragments. Therefore, the best place to be in an event of an explosion is to lay flat on your chest on the ground with the soles of your feet facing the area of the blast. Stay calm and extend your legs moderately apart: if you tighten them together, you increase the likelihood of losing both legs, whereas when the legs are spread apart, you have a greater chance of saving one leg from the blast; spreading the legs too far apart, however, leaves the groin exposed. In addition to the obvious reasons for protecting the groin area, you also want to avoid injury to that area because of the major arteries in that part of the body, which can lead to rapid blood loss if injured.

Keep your mouth open and breathe in small intervals. The most deadly aspect in an explosion is not bomb fragments or heat, it is the blast overpressure. The blast wave travels at supersonic velocity and severely affects the air-filled organs like lungs, kidneys, and bowels. People naturally tend to take a deep breath and hold it in emergencies. However, this proves lethal in a bombing situation, since our lungs become like a pressurized balloon to be ruptured by the blast wave. The majority of deaths in an explosion die from internal bleeding in the lungs. Only 6% on average die from the bomb fragments wounds. Your chances of injury with empty lungs are far smaller compared to holding your breath.

Finally, you must choose what to do with your hands. Some people instinctively cover their ears at the sound of a blast. If you're close to a large explosion, you will probably have both eardrums burst, even if you cover them with your hands (due to the aforementioned shockwave). While laying flat on the ground, the idea is to reduce your lateral profile as much as possible, which means laying with one cheek on the ground. Place one hand tightly over your exposed eye. Place the other arm against your body.

Remember, the explosion takes seconds and you are the only one who can help yourself during this moment.

Major (Rtd) Mohamed D. Morowa
Head of Security Services
Kenya Ports Authority, Mombasa
+254722262639

KENYA BLEEDS

2014-05-06T04:03:00.002-07:00

Dear Lord Jesus,
CC: Kenya, Media, and friends of Kenya

Anytime I board a bus or Matatu, I cannot help but say The Lord's Prayer a thousand times, I shake the minute a load is placed next to me that does not belong to me, every single second beside my legs are numb, my soul trembles and my heart beats so hard. Each minute I pray that my home would not be any further, I am suspicious of everyone especially ones that are holding something in their hands in a polythene bag or the boys with a bag pack. Anytime someone I suspected alights the bus, my whole body is covered with goose bumps, and I can feel my stomach squeeze.
I cannot stop to ask myself why the transport unit has not bought the metal detectors yet, and I would rather wait until a bus that has someone checking the passengers so as I can board it, whether too sunny or rainy.

My heart is not at peace after the last week's Thika Road grenade attack of the two busses. I cannot stop but wonder what could be wrong with our intelligence team. Of course it is not time to point fingers, but well somebody is sleeping on their job with all this bombs, grenades and weapons getting through the boarders, through the traffic and swiftly to cause a mother's leg, a father's arm and a baby's life.

Mr. President, there is a kikuyu saying that says, 'a coward lives long'. Would we rather act so brave in protecting another country, instead of calling it quits there, and bringing our solders back home to protect us in the best way possible. Why would we be brave too much to stupidly watch our own die and another protected.
I believe the soldiers out there were posted there because they are the best in the field, KINDLY, bring those back here to keep our boundaries, roads, and lives safe, or we would go down the history lane of the 'foolish brave.' I am not sure anymore if I am writing this or crying over the bleeding nation; Kenya.

How can I be economically effective if by boarding that bus to work I am not sure how it goes. Why am I not safe in my own home? We fear the thieves in our neighborhoods too much, but all they do is steal, the terrorists rejoice at destroying he most lives possible, why are we giving them the lee way like it is their right to ensure more blood is spilled and more lives are lost, and Kenya is unstable as possible????

Ah! Ah! Enough is enough, the government we need action, forget all these other noble projects until we are stable. Why go for laptop project if our kids will die on their way to school? Why go for the many boreholes, if the equipment will not even make it to the site? Why bother recruiting more police is a terrorist can comfortably blow up a police station? Why even consider increasing salaries if the workers only save it to buy their own coffins? Even Anglo-leasing silly debates can wait , I DARE YOU TO OPEN YOUR EYES TO SEE REASON!!!

Wait, now I hear the government will pay the bills of the Thika Road blast in whatever hospitals they are in from the Westgate attack donations...Are you serious? If this was an accident somewhere in a certain road, this would be absolutely noble, like we see Sonko's philanthropy stunts. This is NO Drama Festivals where the most dramatic story wins!! Red Cross will always be there to help the victims as well as many companies with ambulances. I call this useless strategy, if all the government does is sit and wait to see how much damage has been done, before they come on ground to act all philanthropic. It is not time for pity, it is time to get the intelligence to work. What happens if more attacks like those occur and the donations are over? That blood in the storage may soon be gone when even the volunteering blood donors are caught in the mess?

What is the big picture? Everything about these attacks are no longer small talks nor do they require closed government meetings. The strategy lies naked before our eyes. Do not stop us from questioning the intelligence, we all know you recruit the best of intelligence, not unless tribalism and nepotism has 'eaten' in there too, that only spoilt and lazy kids of a brother were employed. COME ON, GET TO WORK or somebody FIRE someone!!!

If this risk is not managed, it will soon be a crisis. Now, passengers alight the bus anytime someone from Somali origin gets on the bus. Why? Because the whole thing does not make sense, it is the Kenyans of Somali origin that have been set as terrorists. We are all too aware that even Oliech, Kamau, Mutua, or Momanyi and Wafula can be the terrorist. We are all missing the point here. Soon there will be a torn Religious fights that might graduate to war inside of Kenya. Dear UhuRuto, I am not willing to face such a time, and neither is any Kenyan ready.
There are so many graduates lying around jobless, how about you get them on board as volunteers to research, scan the environment and work with the experts to help the intelligence pro-active in knowing and acting on any suspects and the porous boarders.

I am no longer comfortable in my own country. I need to see action. I need to see the government end this Terrorist madness. I need to get on the bus and feel free to say hello to my friends online. I need to sleep easy knowing the only thing that might stop me from going to Church and work is the silly Matatu strikes. I need to be ok when my family and relatives, friends and even boyfriend are working away from home and that I can see them safe when I arrive in their location for a visit. I need not fear where I need to walk with pride, what happens on the holidays, I like to travel, I can no longer be an awesome and dedicated local tourist since the places I have not been to yet are under attack, I mean WHERE IS MY FREEDOM?

Am I supposed to run away before things get thick? No! But will I just sit here and wait for the government to cover the medical bills of terrorism victims? Will I just ever close my eyes again comfortably in sleep and say the Lords' prayer in a more calm manner? Oh, Yes, I do hope to see the digitalism of the government come to light!! The transport unit to ensure there are enough metal detectors and security personnel for every single bus/ Matatu, I say this BECAUSE I WANT TO JOIN PHARELL IN ' HAPPY' and genuinely post it on YouTube!

Kenyans where are we in all these? Time for the middle and upper class to be active audiences in these talks and not just sit and wait for the Prime Time News and post the horrifying pictures or stories they have watched and or heard on their many social media sites acting all sad and regretful. I want to see the professionals and experts of different fields join hands in finding solutions. My hands can no longer write, I am shaking and sweating on the keyboard with the though t of all these, but my mind still has so many questions? My heart needs to be assured and my future kids need a mother!!!!

Yours Scared to the toes Kenyan,
Jeal Njeri

MARK BOYLE, THE MONEYLESS MAN

2014-05-02T00:21:00.001-07:00

Can you live without money? Is that even possible??

Well, Mark Boyle thinks of that as possible. A man who has dedicated his life to focusing on a moneyless manifesto. He believes that the World needs more than just the talk about the benefits of money and how we cannot survive without money.

He believes the World is losing it by being so materialized. Here is Silver Donald Cameron interview with Mark Boyle, talking about his book "the moneyless man".

Where does your values/ personality stand as far as money is concerned? Tell me after watching this.

7 THINGS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE NEVER SAY

2014-04-23T02:04:00.001-07:00

This is for you!!! Yes, you want to be successful, how about you start from what the most successful people you know, did, did not do, and the reasons for that. Learn from the best!!

Ilya Pozin Influencer, the CEO of Open Me. Columnist for Inc, Forbes & LinkedIn and a Serial Entrepreneur, also a LinkedIn Influencer has this to say from his LinkedIn profile, I found it absolutely needed, and had to share it with you.

"You want to be successful. Everyone does. But your actual words might be undermining your chances of success. The things you say in the office, no matter how innocuous they seem to you, might be knocking you down the career ladder and putting the top position you dream about out of reach."

Your career is too important to be tanked by a few negative phrases. Here are the seven things you should strike from your workplace vocabulary if you want to achieve the success you richly deserve:

1. “That’s not in my job description.”
When you accepted your current position, you had a good idea of what the responsibilities and workload of the role would entail. Throughout the months or years since you settled into your job, however, your role has expanded and changed shape. Some of these changes have probably been good, while others have made you wish for simpler times. When a boss or manager piles another responsibility on your already sore shoulders, it might be tempting to pull out this classic gem of work avoidance.
The better option, however, is to schedule a time to talk to your boss about your role. A specific conversation about your place in the organization is a good time to bring up the particulars of your job description, not when you’re asked to get something accomplished. No matter how stressed you are or how valid the complaint, dropping this phrase only makes you look lazy and unmotivated.

2. “It can’t be done.”
Throwing in the towel makes you look like a quitter -- and quitters don’t get promoted. Instead of giving up on a project entirely, frame your response in terms of alternative ways to get the work accomplished. Very little is truly impossible, and most managers and executives want forward-thinking problem solvers to climb the corporate ladder. If you offer solutions instead of giving up, you’ll be seen as a valuable member of the team.

3. “It’s not my fault.”
No one wants to work with a blame shifter. After all, it’s just a matter of time before this person eventually shifts the blame onto you. Take ownership of your mistakes instead of pointing out where others have fallen short. Admitting to a mistake shows character and the ability to learn and grow from problems. Pointing the finger at someone else strongly implies you’ll never truly learn from your errors.

4. “This will just take a minute.”
Unless something will literally take only 60 seconds, don’t overpromise and underdeliver. Saying something will only take “a minute” also has the side effect of undermining your efforts. Most likely the reason the particular task won’t take long is due to the benefit of your professional experience and acumen. By saying it will “just” take a minute, you're shortchanging what you bring to the table.

5. “I don’t need any help.”
The rugged lone wolf type might be the hero of most action movies, but they’re unlikely to become the hero at your company. You might think you can go it alone on a project or in your career, but teamwork is essential. Being able to work with others is the hallmark of a good leader; you’re unlikely to climb your career ladder always flying solo.

6. “It’s not fair.”
Life isn’t fair, and often your career won’t be as well. Instead of complaining, you should look for specific and actionable workarounds to the problems you encounter. Is it unfair a coworker got to run point on the project you wanted? Maybe, but instead of complaining, work harder and go the extra mile. Finding a solution will always be preferable in your professional life to whining about a problem.

7. “This is the way it’s always been done.”
Doing things the way they’ve always been done is no way to run a business. Just ask some of the companies which toed the line, accepted the status quo, and went under. Adapting to an ever-changing marketplace is really the only way to survive in an economy constantly being disrupted by the next big thing.
You don’t have to be a slave to the trends, but you also can’t stick your head in the sand and hope things go back to normal. Instead, come up with creative solutions to new problems and innovate, and you’ll soon be in the driver’s seat taking your organization into the future.
Everyone wants to be successful, so make sure your words aren’t holding you back. These seven phrases are career kryptonite -- by avoiding them, you can fly into your future and become a successful superstar.

EDUCATION- MORE THAN JUST A 'PHRASE' OF WISDOM

2014-03-06T23:10:00.001-08:00

I am very passionate about the role of education as a drive in any human undertaking, and of course I am for the fact that education open doors; it has literally open my many doors to life. Here are some amazing and deep quotes on education for you to take home, and hope it impacts your reasoning with an amazingly positive energy.

‘If you complain of neglect of education in sons, what shall I say with regard to daughters, who every day experience the want of it? With regard to the education of my own children, I find myself soon out of my depth, destitute and deficient in every part of education. I most sincerely wish ... that our new Constitution may be distinguished for encouraging learning and virtue. If we mean to have heroes, statesmen, and philosophers, we should have learned women.'

Abigail Adams

‘I hope there will be no effort to put up a shaft or any monument of that sort in memory of me or of the other women who have given themselves to our work. The best kind of a memorial would be a school where girls could be taught everything useful that would help them to earn an honorable livelihood; where they could learn to do anything they were capable of, just as boys can. I would like to have lived to see such a school as that in every great city of the United States.’

Susan B. Anthony

‘If any proof were needed of the progress of the cause for which I have worked, it is here tonight. The presence on the stage of these college women, and in the audience of all those college girls who will someday be the nation's greatest strength, will tell their own story to the world.’

Susan B. Anthony

Articulate: PREPOSTEROUS EXCUSE TO LITERACY OR EDUCATION??

2013-10-08T13:45:00.001-07:00

Articulate: PREPOSTEROUS EXCUSE TO LITERACY OR EDUCATION??: The 8-4-4 education system has had very many intellectuals through school but the Country (Kenya) is still the same. All through the primar...