Kid Babble

Close your legs...

2011-04-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

10 yr old Hannah overheard me watching Basketball Wives and heard someone say, "Keep your legs closed." So, she asked me what that meant. I simply said, without thinking, "means she sleeps with a lot of people." Then Hannah looks at me puzzled and said, "What's wrong with that? I sleep with you in your bed all the time!"

~Teri. L, California

Poisonous

2011-03-23T20:39:00.001-07:00

‎4 y.o. Ison (with a fever) trying to tell us he doesn't feel well: I feel poisonous.

Scary Bieber!

2011-02-16T17:31:00.000-08:00

4 y.o. Ison woke up this AM bawling and yelling out, "Mommy! Daddy!" I ran to his room to see what his nightmare was about. His reply, "Justin Bieber was trying to take all of us." TRUE STORY.

Bad Dream

2011-02-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

4 y.o. Siu: Soooo....how was your sleep mom? (as he hops on my bed next to me)
Mom: It was good. How was yours?
Siu: It was bad! (shaking his head)
Mom: Why was it bad?
Siu: I had a bad dream. I pulled daddy's arm and it came off!
Mom: LOL (we're divorced!)

Michelle V., California

AWKWARD!

2011-02-10T10:21:00.001-08:00

Mom: You are so cute!
4 y.o. Ison: Did you say that I'm cute?
Mom: Yes.
Ison: AWKWARD!

Homework

2011-01-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

Mom during homework time: Osiris, you need to pay attention!
5 y.o. Osiris: How much do I have a to pay? You only give me a dollar and when I sleep in my own bed.

- Bev P., CA

SUNday

2011-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

‎4 yo Emil: Sure is hot today. What day is it daddy?
Daddy: SUNday.
Emil: That's why!

~Myra M.

Poopers

2011-01-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

‎4-y.o. Ison: Dad, I don't like to go poo at school cause I don't want teachers to wipe my butt.

Dad in a Bad Mood

2010-11-08T10:51:00.000-08:00

‎4 y.o. Ison (after observing his dad in a foul mood): My dad's being a sore lunatic.

San Francisco

2010-10-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

(While driving through downtown San Francisco, 11 y.o. Aisley rolls down the car window...)
Aisley: Oh, the smell of San Francisco...
4 y.o. Ison: It smells like poop!

Love & Marriage

2010-10-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

3 y.o. Addi: I want to marry my brother
Mom: You can't marry your brother. He's your brother.
Addi: Then I want to marry my daddy.
Mom: You can't marry your daddy... Wait. What do you think marry means?
Addi: You kiss and the boy brings you flowers.

Marie I., San Leandro, CA

Happy Heart

2010-10-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

‎4 y.o. Osiris: My heart felt like laughing and so I laughed. It must have been happy or something.

Beverly P., Union City, CA

Drama Queen

2010-10-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

Mom: You're acting like a drama queen.
3 y.o. Addi: I'm a Drama PRINCESS!!!

Marie I, San Leandro, CA

Pumpkins are made of...

2010-10-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

4. y.o. Ison: I know what pumpkins are made of!!
Mom: What are they made of?
Ison: Oranges!

Miracle of Life

2010-10-25T12:57:00.001-07:00

4 y.o. Osiris: Mom, how did I fit in your belly when I was a baby?
Mom: You were very little.
Osiris: How did I come out?
Mom: (Deep sigh... should I tell him?) OK...well, you came out of my .
Osiris: Ouch! Did it hurt?
Mom: Yes, baby it did.
Osiris (Holding mom's hand: Mom, I'm so very sorry I hurt you.

Beverly P., Union City, CA

Abs

2010-10-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

Mom: Ison, you gotta stop playing Wii in a little bit cause I need the TV for my workout.
4-year-old Ison: Oh, I know why you wanna workout. Cause you want abs.

Sesame Street Takes on Old Spice Commercial

2010-10-11T16:20:00.001-07:00

Not the typical Kid Babble post, but we thought this was adorable...

Callerpitars

2010-10-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

‎4 yo Ison: Mom, I know what "callerpitars" turn into.
Mom: Oh yea? What?
Ison: A butterfly!
Mom: Where'd you learn that?
Ison: A commercial.

Monsters: Watch Out for this 3-year-old!

2010-10-11T14:52:00.001-07:00

Anatomy

2010-10-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

‎4 yo Ison: Mom, does everyone have butt cheeks?

Mom: I think so...

911

2010-10-08T13:11:00.002-07:00

The police showed up at my dad's house last week unexpectedly. Apparently, a 911 call came from his house. My dad tells the officer it's only him and his grandson at home so the officer asks Jericho, "Did you call 911, son?" Jericho responds confidently, "Yes. I wanted to see if I knew how to dial 911 correctly."

Marianne, California

My nuts!

2010-10-08T13:11:00.001-07:00

‎4-yr. old daughter, after bumping into one of the seats in the mini-van, hops out of the car howling: "OOOW! My nuts!!"

Mom: Clearly the effects of living with 3 brothers is taking its toll. I need to find her more girlfriends....

-Brandy, Connecticut

Hambooger

2010-10-08T13:10:00.001-07:00

‎2-year-old Addison (matter of factly): I have boogers in my eyes because I ate a hambooger today.

Marie I., San Leandro, CA

Michael Jackson

2010-10-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

‎3-year-old: Mom, Michael Jackson looks like a girl.

Marry me...

2010-10-08T12:44:00.001-07:00

‎3-year-old son: Mom, I wish I could marry you.
Mom: Why?
3-year-old: 'Cause I love you!