TRANSPARENCITY

Bad Day

2020-10-31T22:47:00.002+08:00

I had bad day today. Not that often. But there will be once in a while. Had been holding my tears. For so long. Trying to avoid talking about my problem. Cause literally no one will understand me. No one.

hectic

2014-09-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

Good day everyone. My life recently have been in tremendous change.. Though out the year I've been very busy. Obviously because of my work. Trying my very best to balance works and my personal life. Kind of hard but well, it's a learning process.

Hopping

2013-09-05T12:38:00.002+08:00

I'm hopping to a new place. Place that I'm going to be stranger, outsider. Long exhausting journey to the place that I hope has its own treasure. I'm a traveler. So, this path I chose. Way back, I thought it was a mistake, but now I now. I'm chosen to be here. Place where the people really need help. I mean, lots of help. I'm lost. Don't know what to do. What have been done should be finished, awesome way.

I just have to let myself know that everything is possible. You might missed the target, but still you know you've throw the arrow at the right direction.

Missing my hectic life, but trying to appreciate laid back life here.

Happy Birthday my Lil' Sis

2013-06-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

I wanted to express my thought of you my sister, Siti Solehah. Your birth are such a bless to our family.
This song seriously remind me about you, One Direction Liltle Things. Enjoy sis..

little thing.wma

khas untuk Nor Nazirah

2013-06-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

I sincerely dedicated this song that I've ruin to my beloved sister/friend Nor Nazirah. you've requested Marry Me by Lee Seung Gi, but I gave you Return in return..haha, I know it's been too long..I'm really sorry mate..

return.wma

Malaysia's 13th General Elections

2013-05-12T14:40:00.001+08:00

So far, the result haven't changed yet. Lots of people were kind of disappointed. That include me.

It is my first time ever participate in general election. I'm on the 'opposition' side, what the media use to call. But what I will cite it as WE (read : we).

3 May 2013

I'm not just taking part in voting, but also with the campaigning. Two night before the election WE go for a convoy. Drive trough the night all the way in Alor Setar, my home town. It was actually not planned. I just came back from karaoke with my siblings. We finished at 2 a.m. It's kind of family trait not to be able to sleep early. Then we decide to go to the Dataran opposites Masjid Zahir. We saw lots of cars and bikes with flags and banners. So, we take one flags at the roadsides (which is illegal) and start following the convoy. There were so many of us. Almost 100 of us. All youth.

Only four girls, which are me, and my other 3 sisters. Thank God nothing happened. First time it felt so secure even all the other participants were all guy. But most of them didn't aspect there were girls following the convoy. We were just waving the flags from inside the car. My friends was there too. So coincidence. WE went to Jitra, Kuala Kedah, Kepala Batas and so on. The night when off and WE went back at 5 a.m. Almost Subuh. The excitement was not yet finish.

4 May 2013

That day we went out earlier. about 9 PM. So excited. Not forgetting the flag. Wave all the way Jalan Langgar till Jalan Pegawai. Jalan Pegawai is where my younger sister works. She off from work at 12 a.m. We went there to fetch her up from work. That 'fetch' thing was just an excuse actually. We went first for another convoy. Not actually convoy to be exact. WE just drove by from Jalan Pegawai to Jalan Stadium. When back and forth trough that route honking at each other. Well my words won't take you there. You have to fell it yourself! Lucky me. Went fetching my sister at 12.00 am. We continue our 'things'. Got more guts. All sort of genders, age, race were all one that night. Only one thought we have. 'TOWARDS A BETTER MALAYSIA'. 'inikalilah', 'ubah' were the only word that out from our mouth. Untill 4 a.m. Then we went home. Satisfied. Saying out loud what we want.

The next day I went to vote. My district WE win. But the total vote is not with us (WE). But there's always next time. It's not us who decide to win. It's ALLAH's will and there must be a reason.

Sharing is Releasing

2013-04-25T08:23:00.003+08:00

Sharing is Releasing
yes indeed..

release everything..
start new things..
hard, but try to make it possible.
believe me you'll feel the different.

Share with those who you trust. Someone who are willing to put her life for you. If she are not yet to be found, then you have to take turn. Find someone that you are willing to put your life to, exactly! It probably hard for the first time, but trust, me it works. Never ever trust back-stabbers or, well, you might get stab. hurm..

If you don't trust people anymore, for some reasons. I suggest you to try another option. Being anonymous blogger like me. Or you can create something I call 'Book of Craps'. Write down what ever that you can't tell people in that book. Believe me it reduces your stress. But well, keep it safe if you don't want people to know your secret.

much love~

Sahabat

2013-04-04T01:54:00.001+08:00

Tajuk yang mungkin agak cliche bagi entry kali ini. mungkin tercetusnya idea ini saat aku sedang mebelek-belek gambar dalam laptop kebelakangan 4 tahun aku menghabiskan masa memperoleh ijazah. Iya ijazah yang sama bagi kebanyakkan manusia, tetapi mungkin tak sama nilainya.

Nilai? Nilai yang aku maksudkan adalah pengalaman, kebolehan dan sebagainya yang kadang-kadang sukar untuk diukur manusia lain bahkan diri aku sendiri. Sesuatu yang aku rasakan tak mungkin aku akan kecapi dan nikmati jika jalan hidup aku bukan seperti ini. Terlalu banyak sampai kadang-kadang aku rasa tak mahu dewasa. Lebih baik jika diri ini mampu lagi berfikir seperti anak kecil yang tiada beban dalam otaknya. Tidak seperti aku yang sudah dewasa ini.

Aku sendiri kadang-kadang seperti hilang diriku yang sebenar. Terlalu takut dengan dunia, sehingga kadang-kaadang perbuatan aku dikeji dan diherdik olehku sendiri. Persepsi dunia kadang kala menyebabkan aku tersungkur. Pelik. Hairan. Tapi itu aku. Sebahagian yang perlu aku pelajari untuk meneruskan kelangsungan hidup.

Mujur ada 'mereka' dan DIA. DIA, Allah yang sentiasa memberi aku hidayah dan petunjuk. menjadikan aku kuat dan redha dengan apa pun.

'Mereka' yang tak henti-henti datang dalam hidupku, memberi jaminan yang aku bukan keseorangan untuk hidup. Mereka rakan, sahabat yang tak hipokrit, memberitahu aku segala kelemahanku. Agar aku mampu bangun semula, tunduk seketika tika aku berada tinggi. Sahabatku.

what is sucks

2013-01-25T12:54:00.002+08:00

Today's topic is very serious. What is suck??
recently i rant on my favorite YouTube's channel. i was like very annoyed by those comments that says the you-tuber were her's, "please, marry me", "you are my husband". that are not just sucks but sick. I know its a bit cruel. But wake up. I hate that. They were real people who read those comments. It's creepy.
so, that's all..
bye

i'm the O Type~

2012-07-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I love to donate my blood. I just don't know why..Maybe the feeling of giving/donate my blood would actually safe people life. yes may be indeed. below are the characteristics of O type blood :

Type O’s most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics; responsible, decisive, organized, objective, rule-conscious, and practical. Both male and female Type O’s reported a higher percentage of the mesomorphic body type when compared to controls. Interestingly, Type O’s also scored significantly higher than the rest in “sensing” – using the 5 senses to gather information, and in the sensing-thinking combination, indicating that they are more detail and fact oriented, logical, precise and orderly.
Type O's are the social butterflies. Often popular and self-confident, you are very creative and always seem to be the center of attention. You make a good impression on people and you’re often quite attractive. Organized and determined, your stubbornness will help you reach your goals. You make good leaders. Lovewise, O is most compatible with O and AB. Common career choices: banker, politician, gambler, minister, investment broker, and pro athlete. Blood Type O - Tend to be loners or leaders and are intuitive, focused, self-reliant and daring. They handle stress better than other blood types and have strong immune systems, a well developed physique and a physically active nature

and for your information Kim Jae Joong oppa share the same blood type with me.. delicious !! ~

adrenaline rush

2012-05-06T02:00:00.001+08:00

hi~
Today, or these days I've so damn hectic like hurm.. Well seriously I need some adrenaline to trigger my muscles to works.

(tonight it's so damn quiet too, cause my roommate has fallen asleep and I've got to let my ears rest..cause every night she likes talking on the phone 24-7 and I need to put on my headphones to the highest volume, cause seriously I hate listening to her giggles..no joke, I hate that A LOT!!)

Lots of, lots of assignment need to be submitted and the truly, real FINAL EXAM is next week.. I need time to study and at the same time finish my work. And yet again I still have time to wrote this crap..

Well it's felt so released when I have told things that I shouldn't or things unsaid here. It's like my blood pressure going to it's normal state again.. Magically...

till then, Bye..

my passions

2012-03-28T18:34:00.000+08:00

This entry is about something more serious out of me..
My passions. those crazy thing people might say it's worthless doing it..
I still remember when I was still in the primary and secondary school..
My passion on that time were painting, singing, playing musical instruments and many more..
I did all that without any worries like nothing else matter..
Now, I thought I was happy with my life, but the real thing is that I'm not.
I'm not enjoying myself at all. My childhood life was full of colors..
And as I grew older it's getting darker..
My passions were gone..
I'm dull, nerd and I can't be creative...
I just don't know why..

Really needs some time just to move a little bit backward~

(:

freedom = missing someone you love

2012-03-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

hi..

March almost end and besides those tonnes of assignments, I still have time to wrote this crap..
Its almost 4 year I've been away from my family, including the semester breaks to be exact..

That's means I've been free about almost in that duration of time. I've never thought that freedom turn out to be missing someone you love. Shame on me!

There's lots of things left unspoken, forgot to tell them how much I've been missing them.

Everything sort of jumble up these days. Nothing much I can do. Anxiously waiting for April to come, cause it's that another semester breaks is coming. May I'm going for teaching practical. Graduation on October.

Can't wait for that.

Fairy Tales

2012-03-14T11:44:00.000+08:00

I'm still in shock. Waking up this morning I see tonnes of cars and reporters surround my house. Seriously I'm clueless. My mom said there's someone I have to see. A lovely husband and wife.

*****************************************************************************************************************

My whole body still shaking.. I couldn't even speak a word. I've been told that I'm from the royal family. They will be taken me away from my family. I've never thought that I'm a princess, seriously, who would have thought about it? My mom have never told me before. Every day is such a wonderful day. I'm in luxury..

heyy!! I'm Prince Frog~

Yet the best part is I will get married to a prince. Handsome one. Awesome. I wonder how cute our baby will be.

***************************************************************************************************************

Done reading?? What were you thinking? I'm a princess?? ya in fantasy. It's reality. Not even fiction story.No one get up from bed and find him/herself a prince/princess.

you'll remained frog if you are born as frog,

ugly one!!

Wake up. Go to work, class or something worth it.. Stop dreaming, even in your sleep (if you can even control it)..

Luck won't come to you, unless you search for it. Face the fact change and chase for your luck. No one will help you. They even laugh if you fall. You should get up and clean you own ass.

Life is like eating. Sometimes it sour, sweet, bitter, salty..But when all the taste mixed up together, it's just perfect. Perfect life is not necessarily good, but a good life is perfect~

HEALED

2012-03-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

It's Thursday..Few days past by and my anger gone..
Lucky me I didn't do something stupid..
Well you know how stupid people can be when they are mad..
Thanks to this blog, and Twitter..
I manage to channel my anger somewhere else, thank God..
and thanks to my friends who's bare listening to my curse~

Tryin' Keeping My Head up

2012-03-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

I've been hard to reach..I've been too long on my own..

Thing that never pleasant kept happening.. well I had no one to blame, when when I start blaming, it always end up blaming the person that I love. For now, I need to keep myself strong no matter what. People take blame.. Now it's my turn. No one knows me, except God. I'm not even a good slave, but He always with me..

Be in my shoes, just to see what is like to be me, I'll be you, let's trade shoes..

Let them be them. I'm not them. Just Let ignorant pretend to be one, because it's too hard to make them listen and understand..Shame on them..

**********************************************************************************

Settled things up instead of grieving somethings I shouldn't.. Better be this way :)

I love you mother and father

NOSY II

2012-03-06T19:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Nosy people,

I don't even know what to say. You are such a pain in my ass. You know you can't do it, even the whole world know it, then why you have to show off that you can??

You don't even do your work..and because of you my marks deducted..and what make things worst? Things that you called 'editing' delete the important part of the slide? what the f***?? the best part the lecturer ask for it and then we realize you've cut it out...What a shame to have you on my group..

I gave you the easiest task in the world and you can't even make time to deal with it.. seriously..what are you??

No wonder no one wants you..you're such a jerk..

The Sam Tsui

2012-02-27T03:19:00.001+08:00

Last year was a disaster for me, turn me upside down. This year should be the year that I gather all my strength or I might need all the luck in the world. hope these year turn out well. The semester has started. this means I'll be double up you guys more on this kind of content..Why??!! weren't you student suppose to have tonnes of works and assignment to do?...

Well, that us students~
we have plenty time to pampered our self rather than make time for homework..
be us, you'll know how it's feel..
That's totally awkward, what's the title again??

**********************************************************************************

The SAM TSUI..

well he is no one. In fact he's just someone you won't even notice when he's sitting next to you (he's gonna kill me), but at the moment my ears were kind of weird. The adrenalin flows like my body gonna burst..(over reacting am I?!!ahaha) Why?

All songs covered by him was totally super damn good to me..It was like I've been given drugs or something..
It is just too hard to get rid of my earphones from my head nowadays~
like I've been given endorphin..ya I know..I'm totally of obsess him~

So, this is him..

His doing tonnes of covers that worth listening, and I'm promoting him like I've been paid to do so..hahaha
and ya, you should listen to his covers and not to mention, he also has some original songs made up by him and Kurt Schneider.

Definitely need to check out their channels on youtube.
and that' s all..
bye~

Reality of being a Student

2011-12-30T01:49:00.000+08:00

It's been a while..
I'm kinda busy at the moment..
Tonnes of works..
Price that I need to pay for being a student..
Can't wait for my graduation next year~hooray!!

but, well...another semester ahead..
no big deals, 7 of it I've gone through...
remaining days might be treasured someday..
I know I'll missed it..hahha

bye~

Getting Dizzy~

2011-11-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 days on a row staying up all night..
Finishing the 'unfinished' assignments..
having only 4 hours sleeping getting me piss off easily..
the headache isn't helping me at all..

my Apology to those who I had ignored..
prefer to kept myself silent rather cursing people...

bye~

Home vs Hell?? what the..??

2011-11-19T02:27:00.000+08:00

Well this is basically my home at the moment. I learnt most things in my life here.
This place where I started thinking twice..
Place where I grew up too much, and learnt thing I shouldn't have learnt..
Place that's making me not to believe in people that surround me..
Place where I thought I've lost my trust, but I gain strength and learnt there's still hope..
It's my home and hell..
Bittersweets, it's all here..
and I know, I won't be here forever..
Like some people says, love won't last forever, I need to leave this place..
somewhere, somehow,...

me ❤ my friends

2011-11-14T06:26:00.000+08:00

Finally, I got on my real vacation with my beloved friends. We enjoy ourself like nothing else matter in this world. This weekend was like gaining me strength or recharging me from the heavy loads recently, though the loads haven't to seems going yet. The vacation is not what I would rather to speak about. What I wanted to emphasize here is that the moment I spare with my friends.

*******************************************************************************

Friends, is just only a word for someone who just read the word. But for me, it gives thousand of meanings. It comes almost after my family. They give me strength when it's needed. True friends are hard to resist. That's why I love them the most.

My friend used to tell me that her friend before was a backstabber. Well for me, that friend of her does not even deserved the title 'friend' at all. She should just go to some place where no people exist. Real human being needs friends to live. Not just to live I mean, but to get alive.

Start to appreciate your friends now, even for tiny things she did, cause they love you and by show your gratitude towards them is the way you show them your love~

❤❤❤❤

sing song sang before- i'm not okay by M to M

2011-10-30T01:42:00.001+08:00

I'm having K Ballads fever recently.. Thanks to my beloved friend. And because of that I decided to make a cover version of I'm Not Okay from M to M..It's not perfect, listen to their version is better..I just playing around here. forgive me i sang badly and there's lots of technical problems..

hereMedia Platformfile transfer

okay now back to M to M. Don't get the wrong idea, cause there are not those girls you might think..They were Korean males band who consist of 3 guys that have the most beautiful vocals in ballads I think. They sang lots of OST for movies and Korean dramas.

For those who had no idea who are them, these are them :-

so, thats all..

bye~

Poseidon

2011-10-11T18:32:00.000+08:00

I'm now watching Poseidon..The Korean drama..
Choi Si Won from super junior is undeniable the most handsome, sexy man I've ever met..

pardon? MET?

Met on the line.

Here's the pictures of him while on the set of making this drama..

cute right~
falling in love more and more~

almost faint every time he smile~

hope you guys enjoy this drama, as much as i enjoy it..

Reveal or not? You decide..

2011-10-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

In real life,sometimes we have something to hide..maybe there's something that people need to hide, cause it might hurt people the less compared when you reveal it..
Therefore, there's no such a thing that people might hurt less if they now the truth. In fact, most people think they might hurt the less, but their action speaks the other ways if we reveal it.

For example, a girlfriend catch her boyfriend cheating on her. She said that she would hurt the less if the boyfriend just tell her to break up because he had someone else rather than caught him cheating this way~
But what if, the husband really did told her that they need to break up because he had someone else??
Well, you know what would happened.

Thus,we know anyhow, and anyway there are still people who might get hurt because of our action.. think carefully before act..