The War Within

The Burden of Invisibility - By JT Morris II

2021-04-22T14:17:00.001-05:00

“I denounce because though implicated and partially responsible, I have been hurt to the point of abysmal pain, hurt to the point of invisibility. And I defend because in spite of it all, I find that I love.”

Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

I just want to live my truth in peace.

I have been forced into staying in a larval state because society hates Black Butterflies.

I have a lot of love in me, I have a lot of peace in me......I have a lot of creativity in me. I'm a free spirit. However, because I have lived in perpetual state of war since the day I was born on a number of fronts (Family, Work, Love, Relationships), I have never truly felt safe or comfortable enough to actually be true to who I truly am, and the infinite possibilities afforded to me by my limitless capabilities. There is not much I can't do once I set my mind to it.

Nevertheless......life is full of distractions and can be a figurative and literal minefield for the Black Man in America.

Sadly, it too often feels like we are either in the crosshairs of white supremacy or on the battlefield of justice and equality fighting for the rights that are so freely given to seemingly everyone else. Fighting to love and be loved, fighting to smile, fighting to protect our peace........ fighting to preserve our lives in a world seemingly dead set on taking them. Hell, sometimes the fight is just to live a somewhat normal life free of being collateral damage in someone’s flavor of the month Quasi-war against POC.

The stress that comes with living like that is unbearable at times......but by the grace of the Most High God, we find a way. PTSD is not only experienced by soldiers on a battlefield. We are warriors in our own right. Forced into a de facto state of war from the moment we take our first breath. It has been said that the Most High gives his fiercest battles to his strongest warriors. Well, I think it goes without saying that the American Black Male is as strong as they come.

As a 40+ something year old Black Man living in the "United" States, I have firsthand experience on the American Double Standard when it comes to Black Men.

There is an insane amount of toughness you have to have to live as a Black Man in this country.

I know this because I have to mentally prep myself to be ready every day for whatever scenario I may find myself in. The only comfort I have is knowing that my prayers and the prayers of those that love me keep me covered.

Nevertheless, unconscious bias generally dictates eighty to ninety percent (And I feel like I’m being generous here) of most interactions between POC and Non-POC.

When it comes to law-and-order enforcement in this country, Black Men are typically viewed as guilty until proven innocent the majority of the time.

We are generally vilified even when being victimized.

We are expected to comply with the law even in the face of our rights being violated.

More times than not, we stand by and cheer as everyone else is celebrated..... everyone but us.

We show up and do more than what is expected of us, while everyone else gets by with getting away with doing the bare minimum.

We typically deal with the burden of unfair and unrealistic expectations that are not expected of our fairer skinned counterparts.

Our ambition and our passion are interpreted as aggression and anger.

Our intelligence and assertiveness are seen as a threat.

Our inquisitiveness is viewed a lack of intellect or proficiency whereas with anyone else it is "there are no stupid questions".

Are we perfect? No. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely. The problem is that most of the time we are not allowed to learn from our mistakes because we're too busy trying to survive the disproportionately excessive consequences attached to them. A broken taillight or an expired license can lead to a traffic ticket or citation for one segment of our population but end up being a summary execution for us. I will not waste time going into how the judicial system gives stiffer sentences to POC than they do to whites even though have committed the same crime (I am just over stating the obvious to people at this point). Seems when it comes to seeing Black Men for who they truly are and not what society has scripted us to be, everyone's vision gets blurry, and they become hard of hearing.

Even in our own community, we are not truly respected as we should be. Folks seem to recognize Black Girl Magic a lot faster and with greater frequency than they do Black Boy Joy.......but that is another topic for another day.

Now...…granted, some of us have some work to do.

Thing is though....

Some of us are struggling to truly understand who we are and the role we have to play in the lives of those we love.

Some of us are battling inner demons while also having to war with external ones.

Some of are carrying heavy loads but are too prideful to ask for help because we fear being viewed as incompetent or "good for nothing".

Some of us are mentally at our wits end but will not go seek much needed counseling because of the stigma and ridicule from those closest to us (who probably needs counseling themselves). Take it from someone who has "done the inner work", you tend to experience the worst opposition when you are trying to work on you and the things necessary to improve YOUR quality of life.

Being born in the skin I'm in comes with experiences that built my character. It has allowed me to empathize or even sympathize in situations when it was warranted. It's blessed me with the ability to persevere through the most precarious of situations. It has blessed me with a level of insight that very few people have. The kind of insight that allows me to proactively navigate the routinely turbulent waters of my existence of America.

In a perfect world, everyone would understand that they should put more into the world than they take from it. In a perfect world, individuals would understand that the world owes you nothing and vice versa. In a perfect world, accountability would be the norm and not the exception to the rule. All things being equal, a person’s skin color would equate to a death sentence for the slightest of offences.

Now don't get it twisted......

I'm Black and I'm proud.

I wouldn't trade bring who, Whose, what and where I am for anything in the world. Has it been rough at times?

Is water wet?

That being said, I just want to take the opportunity to uplift my Black Brothers. I love my Sisters, but this entry is dedicated to the brothers out here in the trenches trying to make the world a better place for the ones they love and for society as whole.

Shout out to the brothers that reach back into their community to help other brothers after they “make it”. Big up to every brother that finds a way to maintain their composure in the face of the outright disrespect and contempt they receive for simply existing. The brother out there working multiple jobs to make ends meet for his family. The brother out there doing his best to maintain his sanity in an environment that is anything but inclusive. The brother out there trying to be the best husband and father her knows how to be. The brother out there having to stifle his individuality because it makes others around him uncomfortable. The brother out there being told that he will never amount to anything based on the perspective of a teacher, leader, boss, etc. in a system that was never invested in their growth or development in the first place.

Please know this, you are not alone. You are respected. You are revered. You are a survivor. You are a warrior. You are royalty. The world knows your worth. Why do you think there is such a fanatical effort underway - not just in this country, but globally - to break your spirit and devalue you in the eyes of other cultures?

The ability to achieve success in light of every possible obstacle being placed in your way is a Black Man’s Superpower. The amount of resiliency we show in the face of totally insurmountable odds is the stuff of legend. The road to equality and inclusion is covered in the blood, sweat and tears of some very strong and misunderstood Black Men who are now seen as heroes who at the time they were fighting for fairness and civil rights in this country were branded Public Enemy Number One.

You know the stories; we pull off the scabs every February.

There is certain amount beauty in the struggle, though.

Spoken like a true masochist, right?

Nothing brings us together as a people like adversity. Yet, there’s a certain joy and an equal amount sadness I take from that previous statement. Joy in that solidarity is the only way that Black People are going to overcome the divisiveness and hatred once again rearing its ugly head in this country for literally the entire world to see (R.I.P George Floyd). Sadness in it should not ALWAYS take adversity, anger and attacks on our quality of life to bring us together.

The African American story was birthed in calamity and misfortune. Slaves were not the first Black People to come to America, but the Transatlantic Slave Trade left a mark on the African American psyche that is still evident four centuries later. The post-traumatic stress of being completely uprooted from your homes and stripped of your identity, is evident in a lot of our people’s sense of urgency and insatiable desire to assimilate into a system that was not created with them in mind. Every brother is most certainly NOT a brother, and they will treat you just like an oppressor (if not worse) to solidify their “place” in the system. Personally, it is those instances when my father’s words come to mind:

“Watch your six and move accordingly”.

Lately there has been an all-out assault on actual facts and what is actually to be considered true or false. The Truth has become malleable to whatever agenda is being pushed at the given moment. There are even a lot of so-called Christians out there using the word of the Most High God to justify their cruelty and vitriol. Christians that in my opinion need a small reminder of exactly what the God they profess to serve expects of them. I took the liberty 0f listing a few verses for those Christians I’m referring to just in case their memory is a little hazy:

“And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 22:37–39)

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:18)

“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

There are plenty more verses that I could cite, but you get the point.

As I close this entry, I want to do so on the premise that the author of this entry is in no way bitter, angry, resentful or blinded to the fact that a lot of the issues plaguing the African American community are internal ones that can only be resolved internally. Nevertheless, my community’s “issues” does not by any means give any other culture the right to belittle or denigrate it. We need allies, not saviors. Every community has its share of cultural issues. It is that race’s obligation to course correct free of other’s mostly biased criticisms and unfounded conclusions. Some of the worst accidents are caused by distracted driving. Do us all a favor and stay in your own lane.

So, in closing I leave you with this. The human experience centers around being acknowledged for who you are and having your concerns genuinely acknowledged and addressed to your satisfaction.

The burden of invisibility is one of the heaviest of loads to bear because of the solitary nature of it. A weight that typically for the Black Man in America they have too often and too unnecessarily been forced to carry alone.

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 2 © By JT Morris

2020-05-31T10:56:00.001-05:00

My last entry was meant to drop a few pearls into your spirit derived from my 40+ years of walking this planet.

I walk it like I talk it though.

In order to get to a level of healthy Self-Awareness, you have to make the "deep dive." To look at yourself so introspectively that it makes you uncomfortable. With that said, I figured I'd reserve Part 2 of my Keys to Living for going over my most intimate "lessons learned":

Lessons Learned

I’m ok. I'm lovable. I have worth.... but external factors and material possessions do not define who I am. My love for the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and myself does. I define things.... things don't and will never define me.

I am no longer afraid to lose because with loss comes learning.

I no longer intend on being loyal to anyone or anything that is not loyal to me.

I've lived with Rats and Roaches, but I've never had a poverty mindset.

It's not my job to change your mind or convince you to do anything. My only obligation is to provide you with the information that you need to make the decision that best suits you. What comes next depends totally on what YOU choose to do.... For better or for worse.

I am an Empath. I have to be careful of who and what type of feelings I let in. I have a tendency to empathize when I shouldn't care. Everyone doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

A lifetime full of lessons has taught me how to maintain a decent quality of life by not making the mistakes that I have witnessed other people make (a.k.a I don't have to touch the stove to know it's hot). However, I have also been blessed enough to watch my setbacks turn into set ups. Patience is most definitely a virtue. The key is to keep moving. Movement is life.

Allow yourself to heal after every loss or tragedy. You can move on after them a lot better if you're not dragging along a lot of unnecessary baggage.

I had to realize and accept that sometimes, you're not the right person for certain people....and that's ok. Life has taught me that we can't be everything to or for everyone and to stop driving myself crazy trying to be.

I hate having my time wasted....in any capacity. I absolutely don’t mind wasting my Money, Material Possessions…. Or hell even my Food. All of those things – over time – can be recovered and/ or recouped. However, I value my time above anything else in this life simply because once time is lost…its gone forever.

This Blessed Life of mine has taught me the following things:

What to Agree with
What to Agree to
What to Respond to
When to Respond
How to Respond
What to Fight for
What to Release
When to stay Silent (Still working on this last one though)

Life has taught me that you tend get back what you put out. Don't expect someone's best when your effort is mediocre at best.

I tend to only see "it" when I have to see "it” or when I WANT to see "it". However, when I do see "it", my vision is 20/20.

We are so much more than what we "appear" to be. We can miss out on something special being so judgmental while harboring poorly conceived preconceived notions. I am most definitely tired of living in a world where I work just as hard as anyone else to get what I have, yet still having to justify my very existence and the have the very value of my life marginalized simply because of the color of my skin.

Just based on the sheer ignorance I hear coming from people who are rich and well off, I feel it's way past time for some rational people with a little common sense to have abundant wealth and resources. It's out there for the claiming.

I try to be the very best version of myself every single day. Some days I succeed, some days I miss the mark, some days I barely get there, some days I surprise myself with the level success that I obtain (scary).... but I try to be the best version of myself for that day.... because as I stated earlier in this entry, God honors effort.

It’s ok to “be in your feelings.” You’re human after all. However, the trick is if those feeling are harmful to your serenity and peace of mind to not let them stay in your spirit. The Good Book says that to every thing there is indeed a season. With that being said there is most certainly a time to “Be in your feelings”. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to share with you some of the keys to not being overwhelmed by them:

Let them in
Learn the lesson
Find the Good in it/ Purpose of it
Use the energy
Let the rest go
Keep moving (Movement is life)
Fight for what you Love
Don't quit

I never asked myself or was ever asked what I wanted to be when I "grew up". I missed out on a lot of support and affirmations when I was younger. Which is probably why I'm such a mess now emotionally (I'm working on it, though). However, what I have realized is that everything I have ever needed to become whatever it I was destined or decided to be... was/ is already within me. For better or worse.

So just to sum things up......

This Blessed Life of mine has taught me that:

The past is the past and not to dwell in it.
The present is a gift, live fully in the moment for the future is not promised to anyone.
Never forget to plan for the future whilst hoping for the best and absolutely preparing for the worst.

Plant the seed (God honors effort..), allow God to nourish it (Psalms 37:25).....then watch it grow (Proverbs 10:22).

So, there you have them folks, my Keys to Living.

I’m sure you have your own.

I was raised to share my blessings no matter the form in which they are bestowed upon me.

We are blessed so that we may be a blessing to others.

I truly in my heart of hearts hope that these words have blessed you.

Be easy out there Fam and may God continue to bless and keep you.

Peace and Love

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 1 © By JT Morris

2020-05-03T11:13:00.000-05:00

We will not be on this earth forever.

Every day above ground is a blessing and you should live it like it's your last.

There are some people out there who’ve chosen to live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/or dishonesty. For those individuals there will be a day of accountability, reckoning and hopefully atonement. All of these things WILL come to pass when our time here on this little blue marble is over.

Let that last statement marinate for a sec.

Your mental foundation is rooted in either triumph or tragedy. Your mind and heart anchors itself in either your greatest victory, your soundest defeat or your most resounding failure.

One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will make that next loan payment. We will not have to fret on where our next meal will come from or how we're gonna pay for that house or car.

At any time the Most High could take us from this earth.

That being said, you should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. When you wake up each morning, thank the Most High for waking you up. When you lie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for blessing you with another wonderfully blessed day.

Sometimes the Most High presents us with issues that will test our faith, but you have to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what He says. His word does not return unto Him void. The message for today is to praise the Most High, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and live every day like it is your last. Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, other than wake us up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes on our backs, we should thank Him. That doesn't mean settle or be complacent. God definitely honors effort. No......I'm simply saying be grateful for the blessings bestowed upon you, but never stop searching for your divine purpose or the gift that the Most High has placed within you.

Always remember that life isn’t nearly as complicated as we make it. Life is simple……. It’s us humans that have this pesky knack of making things difficult for ourselves based on our life choices. In my humble opinion, the quality of the life lead basically comes down to the actions that we take and the decisions that we make (or don’t take and/ or refuse to make). You make choices, you act on said choices and don’t you don’t look back.

As the Good Book reminds us:

Psalms 118:24 - This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!
Psalms 118:29 - Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; for his love endures forever.
Proverbs 10:22 -The blessings of the Lord maketh rich, and he addedth no Sorrow with it
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

With the aforementioned Good Book verses in mind, I figured I’d share some of my keys to living a fruitful and serene life. Below are a few pearls of wisdom that have been shared with me over years from a variety of sources. Some are mine gifted to me from living a life of observation and having an evolutionary mindset. This life is full of teachable moments. We just have to be open to receiving the lessons regardless of how they are taught or how they make us feel. I was raised to believe that anything that the Most High blesses us with should be Paid Forward.

So, without further ado I present to you a collection of my Keys to Living or as I like to refer to them:

Light Bulb Moments

Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, for God knows whether or not we mean it from the heart.

Help those in need as a gift from your heart, and not so you can get a pat on the back.

Put forth extra effort in everything that you do. Go after what you want in life and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. No matter how perfect you think you are there is always room for improvement, and an opportunity for you to do better.

If you are depressed, cry if you need to. However once you're done, hold your head up and know that the Most High will help you through. Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state of depression, then go talk to someone about it (Preferably a Licensed professional). Whatever it is that you are depressed about; God will take that pain from your heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, or maybe not even the next day, but He WILL do it if for you. All He asks is for you to trust Him. As my folks always say.....God may not show up when YOU want Him to, but He's ALWAYS right on time. God will not give us more than we can bear and if He allows it, it is to force us to course correct.

Check on your "strong" friends every once and a while. They're probably just as tired and frustrated as you are. Difference is they are usually the ones you go to to vent. They may need to "drop some weight too". Be there for them like they're there for you. You can’t draw water from an empty well.

Don't waste your life trying to fix something that's meant to stay broken.

Master your Energy:

FOCUS – Face Obstacles Causing Ur Stagnation
SEX - Sacred Energy Exchange (Soul Ties)
GPS – God’s Peace Sustains
EASE – Evaluate it, Accept it, Survive it, Evolve from it/ Excel because of it

Peace +Serenity+ Positivity +Happiness+ Joy – Negativity – Toxic Life Situations = Wholeness

God and the Ego cannot exist in the same space. Ego is confidence absent humility.

True love is rare. Solid connections are priceless. Losing both is heartbreaking. What do you do when the people you love that actually made you feel loved are taken away? They are in a better place, yes. Mine not so much. However, I do take comfort in that one day – Lord Willing – that I will one day be reunited with the ones I dearly love that have passed on.

Just because people don't understand your worth or appreciate your value doesn't make you any less valuable or worthless.

People of questionable character do exactly what they want to, how they want to do it, when they want to do it and as many times as they want to do it......... unapologetically. Quit acting like you don't see and/ or understand that. You're only frustrating and hurting yourself.

God is a God of order. Even the Chaos in the universe has structure to it. Have you ever looked at the images of an Asteroid field or a meteor shower? Free floating chunks of ice or debris confined to a certain area of space. Our Solar System.... Our positioning in this Galaxy places us at just the right distance from the Sun in order for life not only to exist but to thrive. Only God can allow order and structure to exist in the midst of Chaos and Dysfunction.

There's nothing wrong with our youth. They just know how to call bullsh*t on what they see out here and are actually willing to do something about it. They just need to channel that energy into something constructive and productive. They are simply products of their environments. Change the environment, change the narrative, and you can and will change the future.

People spend a whole lot of money on designers that never intended for them to buy their gear to impress folks that could care less about them or what they're wearing.

Clothes don't make the man but damn it it's ok to be stylish.

Stay ready so you won’t have to get ready. Opportunity doesn’t wait for us to prepare. You have to be ready to move when it reveals itself.

Failure has never been and must not ever be an option.... not just by choice, but out of necessity. For necessity is not only the mother of invention, it’s also the catalyst for audacity.

Being a great steward of all the Most High has blessed us with is a 24 hour a day, 365 day a year responsibility.

It is what it is. Accept it, learn from it, and grow from it. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done; what truly matters is what you decide to do right now. Now is all that you have. Live in the moment.

Sometimes it’s okay to go off the grid for a minute and sort some stuff out. No Social Media, no phone, no email, no texts…. Nothing. If anything goes down guess what? It’s going to go down whether you’re available or not. Love you. Take Care of you. At the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got. The first rule of survival is self-preservation. Always be kind to yourself and be easy out there.

Hope + No Action = Wishes

Faith + Works = Action

You can hope and wish as much as you want for something, but you must have faith in order to activate the blessing.

The Blessing of the Most High enriches your life and he adds no sorrow with it (Proverbs 10:22). The beautiful thing about the Most High’s blessings is that typically there's always enough to share.

Loss isn't to be feared. It's the natural order of things. It signifies that a season is over. It initiates a new beginning. HE makes all things new. GOD in HIS infinite wisdom gave us stillness. Treasure it.... for that's where your growth is and therein is where true freedom lies.

It's ok to be insistent and persistent, but you never have to beg for anything that you need or want. For Believers, what's destined for them is freely given and readily provided by the Most High. It's the timing that tends to make us anxious. That's why it pays to have the proper perspective about your situation. Having the proper perspective on people, events and things is the key to maintaining YOUR sanity and retaining YOUR peace.... For it is truthfully the ONLY thing in this life that we can actually control.

If you have a job, thank the Lord for your place of employment (Even if you would much rather be working some place else). Ask Him to give you the knowledge and the wisdom to do your job. If you hate your job, ask Him to direct you to the job that is right for you (...or ask him for the resources to start your own business).

If you don't have a job, thank him anyway but ask Him to order your steps to the gig that's right for you.

Ask the Most High to order your steps and bless you in everything that you do. Be thankful for what you have, and the life that God has bestowed upon you.

When you are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer thanking the Lord for providing food and nourishment for your body. There are folks out there that have no idea where their next meal is coming from.

If you are healthy, thank the Lord for your health and strength. If you aren't as healthy or as fit as you would like to be, thank Him anyway. Ask Him to heal your body and then get busy putting in the work necessary to obtain your desired fitness and wellness level (God Honors Effort). Life is truly sweetest when you take time out to express gratitude for the "little" things.

The next time that you get mad or feel yourself becoming ungrateful remember that just as quickly as you have been blessed with it, you can lose it.

Next time you want to know if something you did or said upset or offended someone, honestly ask yourself this: If the roles were reversed, would it offend or upset me? The answer may surprise you…. or not.

Your beliefs shape your experiences.... your experiences shape your perception.

Reminiscing is good but not at the expense of living in the moment.

Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. When you adjust your thinking, all that extra stress disappears.

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

A stunningly beautiful woman is only to be admired but never desired.

Genuinely loving the wrong woman is costly on so many levels. Life has taught me that truly loving yourself draws to you the kind of love that you desire and deserve.

Symmetry and order are beautiful to behold. Unseemly things are things that have no order, function or balance to them.

Forgiveness is the ointment that heals the heart, mind and soul....

Yet most of the time the people that hurt you don't deserve your forgiveness. Forgive them anyway. It's not for them.... it’s for you. Just never forget how they made you feel....and promise yourself to never let anyone make you feel that way ever again.

Never allow people who can't even chew gun and walk at the same time to tell you what you can't do.

When someone shows you their true nature, accept it for what it is. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck....it's not a rhinoceros.

People have normalized the exception to the point that the exception is now the norm.

Mediocrity is now celebrated as Extraordinary. Once upon a time becoming and being truly exceptional meant "paying your dues". Now ...not so much.

It's okay to be a tad bit selfish and fall back on being so nice all time. THIS world doesn't truly respect that sh*t anyway.

You could spend all day poking all kinds of holes in the "advice" and commentary you get from cynical and pessimistic people, but it's not even worth the amount of the brain cells you'd use trying to. Folks believe what they want to believe and roll the way they want to roll. Let ‘em ball. Let them say what the feel like they need to say as long as it’s done in a civil and respectful manner. However, there is a line and no amount of money, manner of privilege or faux entitlement will prevent you from reaping the consequences of your actions if you cross it.

Only an insecure person or an idiot claims to know everything. The truly wise and intelligent person understands to observe more than they speak. Cease speaking on matters you clearly know nothing about. People rarely share "pearls of wisdom" with people who claim to know it all. More times than not, silence is truly golden.

People can't tell you whether what you're doing is either right or wrong......but your consequences will. Your conscience will. Your Karma most definitely will. If they haven't yet.... Just keep living. That bill always comes due.

To be continued ....

Keys to Living – TGIS: Thank God, It’s Sunrise©

2019-06-03T21:59:00.002-05:00

It's what you do in the dark that will put you in the light - Under Armour Commercial

It is truly darkest right before the dawn. Ask for the courage and strength to last the night. Sorrow cometh for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Praise God!

Now once YOU have been delivered from the darkness, you my friend have a responsibility to liberate the ones you love.

Be to someone else what you've always wanted someone to be for you:

Their comforter
Their nurturer
Their motivator
Their supporter
Their protector
Their peace
Their everything

However, make sure they are deserving of it.

Not everyone deserves your best.

Sow good seed, reap a bountiful harvest.

The type of seed you sow determines the type of harvest you reap.

Sometimes It's not about how you react, but it's about how you respond.

There two types of people ..... responders and reactors.

Responders after careful observation and taking inventory of a situation. Reactors act consequences be damned. There is a time and place for everything. The key to living a peaceful and fulfilling life is mastering the timing of the response or reaction. Some situations require a measured response, while some situations deserve a compelling reaction.

Nevertheless, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, you must be prepared to accept accountability and assume responsibility for your response or reaction. Actions have consequences and Karma is most definitely not a respecter of persons.

It's not the thought that counts - at least not to me - God honors effort.....and so do I. I could care less about what you thought about doing. It's what you actually do that matters.

The blessing in coming to understand the principles of accountability and responsibility is the level of growth that comes along with them. The moment you learn how to be accountable for your actions (or lack thereof) and how to assume responsibility for them, that’s the moment that you begin to grow and thrive in every aspect of your life. Take it from someone that has had to eat a lot of crow in my day simply because I did not understand that being proactive is a hell of a lot smarter than being reactive. Damage control was never my strong suit. However, careful observation and disciplined planning is. See...that level of self-awareness comes from understanding that yes; the things that I want and need are extremely important. However not at the expense of being reckless, selling my soul or destroying someone else’s quality of life to obtain them.

Not everyone understands this.

In my humble opinion, I believe it’s because people find it easier to point out the flaws and mistakes of others to avoid accepting the fact that they have areas of their own life that need improvement. The ego can be a very powerful motivator. It can either push you to the heights of greatness or firmly plant you in the depths of despair. Now don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. It’s is perfectly ok and expected for an individual to have confidence in their abilities to be successful. It is perfectly ok to feel like you are the absolute best at what you do. However, it is absolutely NOT ok to be condescending or arrogant about it. There are ways to go about acknowledging that the gift that you have been blessed with is extraordinary without in doing so maligning another person’s reputation or impeding their progress. If you are truly as great as you say you are, then there isn’t any need to spend time stunting another person’s growth. I personally have been placed in precarious positions simply because someone felt threatened by the fact that I have a brain and I’m not afraid to use it. That has been the source of some very dark nights for me.

But Thank God for the Sunrise…..

“For His anger endureth but a moment, and in His favor is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” – Psalms 30:5

I’ve spent enough time in darkness to fully appreciate the light. Once one has been enlightened (regardless of how), there is an everyday struggle to stay there. Trust me, I know. I say that staying in the light is a struggle because the dark is so appealing to our basic human nature. In the dark, there is no need to account for one’s action because they are securely hidden. In the dark you can move any way that you want because if you break something or mess something up, no one can see it. In the dark you are free to appeal to your basest desire and instincts because of the security of knowing that what you do will not be revealed.

BUT…..

Like my folks always use to remind me, whatever is done in the dark eventually brought into the light…...even if it’s kicking and screaming trying stay there. Yo….. and from my experience, no one really comes into the light without a little "motivation.” Albeit willingly or involuntarily. Embrace everything. Acknowledge your time in the darkness, but don’t be content with staying there. Reject what's not helpful, useful or beneficial. Monitor and manage your energy so that you can expend it in the right places. Focus more on what makes you better instead of what is making you bitter. The more you move towards the life that you desire, the more your desire for the darker things will diminish. The light and darkness cannot exist in the same space.

Being humble doesn't mean dulling your shine to make others comfortable.

Be the one to have as an ally, not an enemy.

It's ok to love someone deeply.....but not at the expense of your peace, serenity, quality of life, individuality or wholeness.

There are things that I have tolerated for the sake of love or being “loved” that I no longer tolerate and should not have been tolerating it in the first place. All praise unto the Most High for liberating me from the bondage of emotional servitude and unspoken obligations.

Freedom for me means no longer entertaining or tolerating anything that doesn't bring me enlightenment, happiness, motivation, peace of mind or dope orgasms. If it doesn't feel right in my Spirit, there's absolutely no place for it in my space or in my life.

I have had my share of heartache at the hands of people who've said they love me. I used love blindly because over the course of my life that's what I kept hearing was expected when it came to loving someone. Then I realized that I was the only one walking around with love blinders on while everyone else out here's vision was 20/20. It took a lot of soul searching, a lot of betrayals and the tolerance of quite a bit of disrespect for me to finally take them off. If someone is willing to deprive you of what you need and desire then they can't possibly love you. If some is willing to discomfort you doing something you've repeatedly told them makes you uncomfortable, they can't possibly love you. If someone is willing to stand by and watch you struggle without offering you any assistance, they can't possibly love you. There is tough love ....then there's outright neglect. Don't confuse the two. One is done out of love. The other is done out of fear/ hate/ insecurity. There is no place in a loving relationship for neglect or abuse of any kind.

As for me, I refuse to continue feeding people who don't feed me. I refuse to continue encouraging people who don't encourage me, I refuse to support those who don't support me. This is my "Me" season. I've spent my entire life wanting what's best for others while neglecting myself. That's unhealthy. The number one rule of survival is self-preservation. I've been unable to find the love that I need and want because I haven't been loving myself right. I've been putting other people's happiness before my own or feeling guilty when I prioritize my own happiness. I deserve to be unapologetically happy. I feel like the Most High agrees with me and wants that for me. I'm the one that keeps getting in the way. Well not anymore. Not anymore. I declare and receive happiness, wholeness, health and wealth.

This is my prayer for you as well. That you don’t let the darkness of your past dim the brightness of your future.

Weeping may endure for a night….

But TGIS….

Thank God, it’s Sunrise.

The light has a purifying property to it. You know what they say about roaches when the light comes on….hell maybe you don’t. Which - don’t get it twisted - is an absolute blessing. Unfortunately, growing up I lived with some involuntary housemates from time to time. Jamokes didn’t drop anything on the rent but were constantly making their presence known…. just rude as hell. Country living though was the absolute best. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it. Ok….. maybe a couple of things. Dig this though….. I may have lived with Snakes, Rats and Roaches, but I've never had a poverty mindset. Your beliefs shape your experiences.....your experiences shape your perception. My belief is that it’s not about where you start or where you are from but it’s about where you strive to be. My experiences have been a direct result of that belief. God honors effort…..and because of my experiences, my perception of life and the things associated with it this makes me Mr. Glass Half Full. It is this mindset that allows me to withstand the attacks of anything that tries to drive me back into the darkness.

Now…

I just want to revisit a couple of statements that I made earlier in this entry:

“It is truly darkest right before the dawn. Ask for the courage and strength to last the night. Sorrow cometh for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”

Remember that in order to have something you have never had; you have to be willing to do something that you have never done. Now I won’t lie to you, stepping into the light can be a scary proposition. You are basically exiting your comfort zone. Oh and don’t be deceived, one can become comfortable and extremely complacent in darkness. You don’t realize just how much comfort you find in darkness until you are forced to step into the light.

So in closing, my hope for you is that your good days outnumber your bad days and if they haven’t then that my friend is my prayer for you. My prayer for you is that no matter how dark your situation has been or may be, that the Most High will stand in the gap for you.

Then maybe you too can one day say….

Thank God, it’s Sunrise.

Mental Toughness (18 Things Mentally Strong People Do)

2016-09-21T18:24:00.000-05:00

Life is a beautiful thing.

Nonetheless, it honestly all comes down to your ability to weather the occasional - yet always temporary - storm that may occur and your perspective regarding the things that happen to you during or over the course of it. Now, I’m not delusional by any means. I know that there will always be factors in this life that can drive you to the brink of insanity if you let them:

People’s spoken and/or unspoken obligations for you.
People’s unfair preconceived notions and unfair opinions about you or those that happen to look, think or act like you.
People’s unfair and unjust treatment of you or those that happen to look, think or act like you.
People’s ignorance on matters that once upon a time were considered common sense.
People’s disrespectful and vitriolic - yet extremely uninformed - rhetoric on matters of importance and current events.
People's lack of empathy, decorum, tact and professionalism.
The media’s sensationalism or suppression of all things truly relevant.

…. And the list goes on and on.

In a world so cynical full of individuals with seared consciences, it’s pretty easy to get distracted from the things that you value or those things that matter most to you. It is when we are faced with the aforementioned or similar scenarios that we must have a certain level of Emotional Intelligence and Mental Toughness.

While doing my due diligence for my next entry, I ran across an article in Forbes Magazine that listed ways that an individual can remain strong mentally....

Because let’s face it, to quote a line from one my favorite movies:

“The body cannot survive without the mind.” – Morpheus (The Matrix)

I have listed those principles below for your review.

I pray that they bless you as they have blessed me:

18 Things Mentally Strong People Do

1. They move on. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.

2. They Keep Control. They don’t give their power away.

3. They embrace change. They welcome challenges.

4. They stay happy. They don’t complain. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t
control.

5. They are kind, fair and unafraid to speak up. They don’t worry about pleasing other people.

6. They are willing to take calculated risks. They weigh the risks and benefits before taking action.

7. They invest their energy in the present. They don’t dwell on the past.

8. They accept full responsibility for their past behavior. They don’t make the same mistake over and over again.

9. They celebrate other people’s success. They don’t resent that success.

10. They are willing to fail. They don’t give up after failing. They see every failure as a chance to improve.

11. They enjoy their alone time. They don’t fear being alone.

12. They are prepared to work and succeed on their own merits. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.

13. They have staying power. They don’t expect immediate results.

14. They evaluate their core beliefs – and modify accordingly.

15. They expend their mental energy wisely. They don’t waste time on unproductive thoughts.

16. They think productively. They replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

17. They tolerate discomfort. They accept their feelings without being controlled by them.

18. They reflect on their progress every day. They take time to consider what they have achieved and where they are going.

Source (18 things): www.Forbes.com

Reciprocity ©

2016-04-09T13:43:00.003-05:00

Focusing on Karma than on the lessons needed to be learned is setting a trap for "what goes around comes around." Never wish for others what you will not wish for yourself. Do to others as you want done to you. That's what love is about!

Kemi Sogunle

Reciprocity - a situation or relationship in which two people or groups agree to do something similar for each other, to allow each other to have the same rights, etc.: a reciprocal arrangement or relationship.

Example: Grownups know that little things matter … and that relationships are based on respect and reciprocity. —Margaret Carlson

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Is that really such a hard concept to understand for people?

It may be if you don’t know how to treat people or don’t really know how you want people to treat you.

I think people occasionally allow their emotions to cloud their judgment. But let’s be honest. Everyone has been guilty of it. You are human after all……and that’s ok in your personal life but not ok when it comes to making evaluations and concocting preconceived notions about another individual. In other words, if you don’t like something or someone make sure that it is based in actual fact and not on the opinions of others. There are very few people in this world that I can honestly say that I dislike and for the ones that I do …. best believe that they earned that distinction based solely on their actions and their principals. Nothing more…. nothing less.

Now trust me when I say that people around me do things I don’t like every single day. Nevertheless, I have to remain professional and I still have to honor my obligations. People in positions of authority should always attempt to lead by example. It is one thing to tell everybody “you’re the boss”, totally another to actually be a boss. Do as I say and not as I do typically only works with children (If even then). That being said, people in positions of authority are naturally held to a much higher standard due to the simple fact that ohhh I don’t know… you’re in a position of authority? I don’t know, I could be wrong here. It definitely would not be the first time. Nonetheless, if you are tasked with leading people no one is expecting you to be perfect. Hell, these days you don’t even have to be qualified. All the same, what you must be is a “people person”. Kinda comes with the territory you know. I mean let’s face it we have all at one point or another in our lives have had to deal with “difficult” people and there is nothing worse in my humble opinion than having to deal with a “difficult” person in a position of authority. One that has no clue of how to be empathetic and who rather have those in their charge fear them rather than respect them. See this sort of leadership works on weak people who have no sense of self. I mean after all no one who loves themselves is going to willingly sign up to be treated in a condescending manner or disrespected.

But I digress…..

Reciprocity and appreciation aren’t mutually exclusive.

In my humble opinion, you can’t have one without the other. You see when we appreciate what someone does for us, we are naturally compelled to show our appreciation by returning the favor in kind. Everybody is born with the ability to be kind. It's just a matter of whether or not we choose to act on it. Just remember that everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Sometimes finding your best is helping someone realize a victory that they felt was beyond their reach. Be a blessing to others and the Most High will most assuredly bless you. Now please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. I'm sure someone, somewhere is reading this and thinking that I’m saying that you should always respect something in return when you give someone something (Now how they would think that is a mystery to me). That is absolutely not the case. There will be times you will do something for someone or bless someone in a way that totally improves their quality of life and not get one shred of gratitude or appreciation. Trust me I know. It is at times like this where the motive for your benevolence will determine your reaction to this sort of slight. If your motives are genuine and there was no self-serving purpose behind the act, then just seeing them in a better place will be enough. We have to realize that sometimes it takes people a minute to “get it”. Everyone’s heart and mind doesn’t operate on the same wavelength. I always say that there are two types of people in this world – givers or takers. Givers “get it”. “Takers” do not. I personally believe that it’s all dependent upon an individual’s “Emotional IQ”.

Over the course of my time on this little blue marble, life has taught me a variety of lessons. Some pleasant, some not so much. One very important and extremely bittersweet lesson that the Most High has taught me is how to gauge an individual’s Emotional IQ. One’s intelligence quotient (IQ) is typically obtained from one of several standardized tests designed to assess human intelligence. IQ scores have been shown to be associated with everything from morbidity and mortality rates, parental social statuses, and, to a substantial degree, biological parental IQ. With that being said, I believe there is something to be said for how a person’s mind and heart interact with one another. I believe the more in tune a person’s heart is with their mind, the higher their Emotional Intelligence Quotient or Emotional IQ. There are several factors that go in to determining and individual’s Emotional IQ. I have listed a few below for you:

Consistency – How often does this person keep their word without having to be coerced into doing so. Inconsistent or "sometimesy" people tend to have a low Emotional IQ.

Integrity – How often this person does the “right” thing, even when no one is looking or there is no actual personal benefit in doing so. Some people only do things for others only when there is something in it for them. Selfish people tend to have very low Emotional IQs.

Dignity – How often a person does something for the sole purpose of getting attention. For some, any attention is good attention. For better or for worse. People who always find themselves in the middle of drama, chaos and confusion tend to have extremely low Emotional IQs.

Empathy – How in tune an individual is with the feelings and emotions of those around them. How aware of how their actions affect others and just how much that matters to said individual. People with seared consciences tend to have very low Emotional IQs.

Humility – Kind of speaks for itself but for the uninitiated, how often a person does what’s required and oftentimes what’s not required and never seeks to be placed on a pedestal or seeks accolades for doing so. People with a “Selfless” mindset generally have pretty high Emotional IQs.

Trustworthiness – Do I really have to explain this one? I guess I better, huh. How often lies or uses underhand tactics and unscrupulous means to obtain what they want regardless of who they hurt or effect in a negative manner. It’s a toss-up with Liars when it comes to just how high their Emotional IQ is. I mean liars understand “the moment”. The good ones know how to dissect the situation to determine the level of the lie they need to tell to get what they need from the situation (Little White Lie vs. the Zero Dark Thirty Lie). In order to this a person definitely has to have a pretty high Emotional IQ (Not that that is a great trait to have….so stop patting yourself on the back if you’re out there constantly deceiving people. If you are this type of person and you are still reading this just know that you haven’t run up on or lied to the right one yet. Karma’s is no joke and is not a respecter of persons.

Now having a low Emotional IQ doesn’t make you a bad person or a lost cause. It just means that people should not expect you to understand or even appreciate what they do for you.

Nevertheless, regardless of a person’s Emotional IQ, we as believers and citizens of humanity are obligated to enlighten and assist whenever possible. People tend to remember what you do a lot longer than what you tell them anyway. However, it is very important to remember people’s problems are theirs to resolve not yours. People with high Emotional IQs tend to take on people’s problems as their own causing them to momentarily lose sight of just how good they actually have it. We must always remember to count our blessings and not our woes or sorrows. Be grateful for the things you have. Someone, somewhere would love to have what you so easily take for granted. What you have now was once among the things that you prayed for. Never forgetting that believers should always operate from a place of benevolence and thanksgiving. Be quick to give if it is within your power to do so. Be quick to express gratitude and appreciation when you are a recipient of kindness… no matter how small the gesture. Lending credence to my earlier statement that reciprocity and appreciation aren’t mutually exclusive. Don’t believe me. You don’t have to. However, I have it on extremely High Authority that this could possibly be the case:

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 (ESV)

Now!

I want to change gears for a minute.

I have a quite a few female friends.

Now, I for one do not mind being placed in the friend zone. Trust me it’s a much safer place to be these days. The dating game don’ certainly changed….and it’s a beast let me tell ya. You see I’m from the old school. Unfortunately, it seems that in today’s dating game there is not much room for reciprocity. No, it seems that people out here on today’s dating scene have more of a selfish mentality as opposed to a selfless mentality. Translation: I’m more interested in “me” and what’s important to “me” than what’s best for “us”. Hey…. that’s cool. I absolutely have no problem with that. Just make that clear on the front end and we’re Gucci. I do however have a few tips for those of you who wish to brave the dating scene. Now I’m no expert on relationships. Hell, I’m still trying to figure this ish out myself. But I do know this …. sometimes we get in the way of our own happiness by dragging along past hurts and setting unrealistic expectation on people based on previous relationships which is simply unfair to the person you choose to date exclusively.

Now for those tips I promised ya:

Tip 1: Having a guilty until proven innocent mentality when it comes to dating is not sexy. Either give a brother or sister a clean slate, or don’t date. Period.

Tip 2: Women need to stop thinking that all men are dogs and don’t know what they are talking about because the man or group of men that they chose to date, deal with, trust, sleep with or have children by disappointed them. There are good men out here, you just have to be willing to let the past go and put yourself in a position mentally, emotionally and physically to receive him when he shows up.

Ah ah ah! Not so fast fellas… You don’t get off that easy.

Tip 3: The first thing that guys need to understand is that no two women are alike and that a real woman’s primary concern is safety and security. Notice I said real woman…. not a THOT.

See the problem with a lot of the cats that I run into is that they’re out here trying treat these females with “Hoe” (Not the Garden Tool) tendencies like queens. Now don’t get it twisted. No man wants a prude. For the uninitiated, most men like three things: Food, Sex and Spontaneity. Specifically, in that order. The last one (Spontaneity) can occasionally be interchangeable with Money and Love. Now, notice that love didn’t make the first cut. Hold on…. I’m not saying that men don’t want love, we just take a little longer to warm up to the concept than women do primarily because most men aren’t really in touch with their deepest emotions enough to discern when there has been a shift in their consciousness when it comes to the prospect of loving someone besides family (Maybe not even then).

Now what does all this have to do with reciprocity?

Why, I’m so glad you asked.

Everything.

Quite simply, if a person is not willing to meet you where you are spiritually, emotionally, physically and I dare say financially then you may want to evaluate if the person you are dealing with understands the Golden Rule or the law of Reciprocity. Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. You only get out of something what you put into it. Again…...not because you are entitled to receive back what you give but because you are obligated to give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.

Love…. true love is reciprocal in nature. You can’t love someone and intentionally deprive them of what it is they need or want if it’s a reasonable request or necessity.

Do unto others as you have them do unto you…

Seems like a simple enough concept right? I think so. However, you’d be surprised to what lengths some people will go to avoid honoring their end of the deal. I mean let’s be honest with one another for a second shall we. We all know that one person that can dish out all kind of drama and nonsense but will fall into a state of “victimdom” when their drama and nonsense catches up with them. I always say that it’s all fun and games “poking the bear” until he wakes up and starts tearing up all your ish. Don’t be that guy/gal. It’s not a good look.

So in closing, I leave you with this.

In order to understand the law of Reciprocity or the Golden Rule, a person first has to set boundaries for themselves. Know how much you are willing to give of yourself but make sure that you maintain a healthy standard for your quality of life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking out for yourself. I mean, let’s be real…. you are truly the only one when it’s all said and done that has your best interest at heart. The key is to not give so much of yourself that you end up falling apart. Trust me…been there and done that. Which is why I stress to you the importance of knowing yourself and what you will and will not tolerate. That way once you have laid it all on the line you can absolutely leave what you eventually determine to be a toxic situation with no regrets.

I mean after all; life is all about choices. Our lives are the sum total of the choices we have made over the course of our lives. So when it’s all said and done and the choices made and actions taken are tallied up, do you want to be considered to be a Giver or a Taker?

I'd venture a guess that if you believe in and abide by the law of reciprocity, that it would be the former rather than the latter.

Cycles and Signs

2015-11-14T19:01:00.000-06:00

I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt condolences to the individuals and the families of the individuals who have suffered pain and loss from yesterday's tragic events that occurred in Paris, France.

As I began penning this entry, innocent blood was being shed. The horrific events of the evening - while extremely tragic - should serve as a wake up call for us all. Life can change in an instant. The individuals that lost their lives the evening of Friday November 13th 2015, were going about their evening without the slightest concern that this evening on Earth would be their last. It's unfortunate that as the accounts of what occurred become public knowledge, it is becoming ever more apparent that the signs of an impending creditable terror event were discovered but sadly unpreventable. Despite French Authorities best efforts, they were unable to prevent the carnage that took place in one of the most high profile cities on the planet. Known for its imprint on fashion and dubbed one of the most romantic cities in the world, sadly now in the light of two terror attacks in the Last 12 months it can now be added to the growing list of countries that have become targets of unadulterated evil and hate. My prayers are with the individuals and the families of those who have recently suffered pain and loss not only from the tragic events of Paris but also in Beirut (Earlier this week), Kenya (April 2015) and other countries the world over. This especially includes the United States of America. I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge and pray for those right here in the country I call home. We too know what it means to see loved ones die at the hands of those whose agenda is one of hate and division.

This entry is dedicated to you....

Samuel Johnson called it the vanity of human wishes and Buddhists talk about the endless cycle of desire. Social psychologists say we get trapped on a hedonic treadmill. What they all mean is that we wish, plan and work for things that we think will make us happy, but when we finally get them, we aren't nearly as happy as we thought we'd be.

Alison Gonio

In the grand scheme of things, life is pretty simplistic. What is …… is and what isn’t simply….is not. It is us as human beings that tend to overcomplicate it. Over the course of my life I have witnessed one recurring theme. You get what you give. That’s just a simple way of saying that whatever you put out in to the atmosphere is what eventually returned to you …sometimes with interest.

Word of the Most High alludes to this as well:

Ecclesiastes 1:9 states that which has been is what will be, that which is done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.

Needless to say that the older I get the more truth I find in this verse. Everything that is considered ‘new” has actually been around in some shape, form or fashion once before. Just look around you if you’re over the age of 40 then you know exactly what I mean. What’s “old” is now “new” again. High top fades, “retro” fashion and vehicle styles, etc. There is now a certain level nostalgia for all things “old school”. Which to me is pretty interesting because a lot of the stuff that has made a comeback was actually “new” when I was a youngster many, many moons ago…. And yes…. Ya boy is fairly “seasoned” if you even the least bit curious. The fact is that life is - in the humble opinion of this author - just one big cycle of events that remains in perpetual motion with occasional event markers to give you an idea of exactly what kind of progress you have made over the course of it. The aforementioned “event markers” are often referred to as signs and most assuredly should not be taken lightly. I will elaborate more on my theory a little later in this entry.

I’m an avid believer of two things:

Nothing in this life is either accidental or coincidental. I believe that EVERYTHING that occurs in this life happens for a reason.

The” lesson” that life is trying to teach you will be taught and retaught until it is learned.

I mean come on…..if we are truly honest with ourselves, the things we believed were accidents or coincidences actually served to accomplish a greater purpose in our lives. That thing that you at first lamented for occurring in the grand scheme of things served to propel you into an action or season that you would have never experienced because you were too busy chilling in your “comfort zone”. A coincidence is merely the coupling of time and chance. The problem is that typically when a coincidence occurs, it catches most individuals unprepared. I say unprepared in the sense that the individual may actually be unable to seize the opportunity that the coincidence presents. Over the course of my life I have noticed that individuals keen enough to seize opportunities when they present themselves tend to obtain success in most of their endeavors. The level of success however tends to depend on the level of “sweat equity” that has been invested. It’s the world's procrastinators and individuals with the “maybe next time” mindset that tend to miss out. I know because I once counted myself among the latter group. Not because I didn’t want to succeed or was afraid to put in the necessary effort to achieve my goals. No ….. A brother was looking to “make it” and was ABSOLUTELY willing to grind until I got “it”. However, a lack of direction and a serious lack of focus made the road to success unnecessarily hazardous (We can sometimes avoid life’s “pitfalls” if we’d only pay attention to what’s going on within us and around us…but that’s another entry for another time). There are no get rich schemes and fast money is not always the best money. Success (Whatever that means for you) is usually not tied to the path of least resistance but rather to the road less traveled. A road littered with things designed to make you uncomfortable. A road not for the faint of heart. For you see, once you start down this road, you can never return to your “comfort zone”. Not because you physically can’t return there, but because you will no longer wish to.

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat…

Translation: Fortune favors the bold.

Short version….No one ever achieved the success that they so desperately longed for curled up in a fetal position in their comfort zone. It was not until the light came on for me and I realized that in order to obtain something that I had never had, I was going to have to be willing to do some things that I had never done before. I won’t bore you with all of the details, but let me just say that it was not until I changed my thoughts and habits that my quality of life improved. You see, your thoughts – whether you wish to acknowledge it or not - eventually drives your actions. Which why it is vital that you pay attention to the cues – some subtle, most not so much – life frequently provides you with.

Which brings me to the basis of today's entry.....

Life is honestly all about cycles and signs. Cycles – for better or worse – are your states of existence while signs are actually indicators of your quality of life and are the universe’s way of “keeping you honest”. That is if you’re paying attention. Both serve as signals of exactly where we are and can serve as guides to get us where we need to be. American Author Gretchen Rubin I think sums up the importance of paying attention to life’s signs perfectly:

Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change.

We are all emotional beings. Some people are more in tune with their feelings than others. Your emotional IQ is solely dependent upon your life experiences and your belief system. Your feelings actually have a huge impact on how you view the cycle of life that you exist in and the signs that life provides to you. People’s perception can most definitely shape THEIR reality. However, a person’s reality may not necessarily an accurate assessment of life due to the fact that a person’s perception is usually based on a biased outlook of the events occurring around them. For example, an abuse survivor (albeit emotional or physical) distrusts individuals that resemble their abuser, someone that has had an allergic reaction to shellfish is skittish about eating seafood, a man stopped and frisked by police without cause or provocation distrusts all police officers, a soldier that loses a friend to Islamic extremism, has a seared conscience towards atrocities that occur in Muslim countries. The list is endless. This writer believes that we all at some point or another during our existence struggle with two things that are intricately woven into the very fabric of a human being’s interaction with the world around them…..Patience and Forgiveness.

Patience with yourself for not quite being where you want or need to be. Patience with others for not being exactly what you want or need them to be for you. Forgiveness of the aforementioned for being fallible and inconsistent. No one and no situation will ever be perfect. A perfectionist’s life is a frustrating one. I know…. This is why the card to that club is now on the shelf collecting dust. Patience always trumps anxiety. The important thing to remember is that cycles and signs are natural. They are gauges of progress and at times serve as a glimpse into the future….

For better or worse.

Now granted, going from a mindset of “I have to control everything in and around my life” to blind trust is more than a notion. Freeing oneself from unspoken obligations can cause an individual a lot of discomfort. Typically because by the time you decide to liberate yourself from an endless cycle of emotional servitude, you have pretty much lost your individuality. You find that you have spent a significant portion of your life making others happy by being who they wanted and/ or “needed” you to be, while never really receiving any sort of reciprocity. I know all too well how it feels to live life this way. Selfless to the point of becoming emotionally numb just to feel “whole” while your sacrifices go unnoticed and unappreciated. This happens more often than you may think simply because in this life there are two sorts of people….. Givers and Takers. Nevertheless, once the light bulb comes on and resentment from the realization of dreams deferred for nothing has passed, you must press on. You must understand that the people in your life will do exactly what you allow them to do and will continue to do so exactly in the manner that you allow them to do it. The problem with a great many individuals is that they do not set boundaries for themselves. They do not inform individuals that they deal with early in the game exactly what they will and will not tolerate. News flash…when you do not set boundaries for your individual interactions, the boundaries are usually set for you. Consequently, you can typically pretty much rest assured that you will not much care for the rules and regulations that are set for you. It’s not up to others to figure out what’s best for you, it’s up to you to determine what’s best for yourself. Once you have determined this, you must enforce certain boundaries and set certain standards for yourself. That way, when someone enters your circle that doesn’t respect you or your boundaries, you can deal with them accordingly. You can't tell someone how they should treat you if you don’t even know how you want to be treated. This is where paying attention to life’s little (or not so little) indicators tends to make one’s life a little less complicated.

Bob Marley said it best…

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!

If leading this ever evolving life of mine has taught me one thing, it has taught me to trust my instinct. Your intuition is a sign that typically never steers you wrong if coupled with informed logic. Trust ya boy. I know. There are some people and situations that had I trusted my gut, I would definitely not have wasted a millisecond on them. The fact that hindsight is 20/20 sucks on so many levels. However, I have become the type of individual that doesn’t have to touch the stove to know it’s hot. Why? Because I saw 15 other people touch that joint and burn the ish out of themselves. “It would never happen to me doesn’t even compute” to me. Yes…. it most certainly can and will if you aren’t careful. Situational discernment isn’t some great mystery of the universe. To me it’s just having basic common sense. Sometimes all you need to do is heed the warning signs life presents to you to avoid a whole lot of anguish and discomfort. Case in point….. Crack addiction. No disrespect to recovering addicts or those in the process of recovering, but this to me is the ultimate example of “I don’t have to touch the stove to know it’s hot.” Between the stuff I saw in the hood and New Jack City (I’m just saying….ya boy was not trying to end up looking like Pookie), I was not wasting one second on the neighborhood drug dealer or a Crack Pipe. Here’s where I get confused though….for those that did get caught up and are STILL using Crack…. For those people that have said and/or are saying “I can quit at anytime” (it’s been about a decade now, right)….so you….YOU …. You were going to be that one person that was immune to the “Jones”. You were going to be that one person out of seven billion to prove everyone wrong about the power of Crack Addiction (As you tote your Grandma’s TV out the back door). Now don’t get it twisted, I know addiction is a serious thing. However, getting stung out on Crack to the kid doesn’t sound like the best situational discernment. I’m just saying. There are so many other things I could spend my money on or get hooked on…..like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Dawg…. Now THOSE joints MIGHT just have a smidgen of Crack in ‘em.

But I digress.

Now.....

Cycles and Signs are all about one's viewpoint.

The reason so many of us find ourselves trapped in certain cycles is because of our train of thought. Everyone knows or has heard at one time or another the "Glass Half Empty or Half Full" analogy or the old saying "you have to play the hand you're dealt". Both idioms allude to situational perspective. One must always remember that the mind basically processes everything that we see. Some stuff we retain, some stuff we discard. Garbage in....Garbage out. Which is why it is essential that we are extremely careful of what kind of information and media we consume. Unfortunately in today's society, we are on information overload. There is so much coming at us from so many direction that sometimes it is hard to know what information to keep and what information to ignore. Coupled with the fact that people now are not as "inquisitive" as they once were - meaning that they don't test the info to see if there is any truth to the info they just received - the world is now full of a bunch of morons and "educated fools". Probably always has been. However, now the lunatics are now running the asylum thanks to the Mainstream Media and Social Media platforms that allow people that once upon a time people would not even pay attention to a voice. In this writer's humble opinion, the most dangerous thing in the world besides a madman with a gun is an idiot with a Social Media presence.

Cycles and Signs.

The former is ever evolving and the latter are all around us. They both have a significant impact on your quality of life and require your undivided attention. Simply because if you do not acknowledge the cycle that you currently find yourself in, you can never truly know what opportunities await you. Ignoring the signs that you see around you can possibly have unwanted consequences. Truth is...whether you acknowledge what's going on around you or not, whatever is meant to happen is going to happen. The benefit to acknowledging the sign is that you have the advantage of being proactive instead of reactive. Trust your boy.... getting in front of a potential issue is a hell of a lot better than damage control. The thing that I thinks causes us as human being the most discomfort is change. Human Beings are for the most part creatures of habit. We all have our "rituals" and routines and any deviation from those things cause us a boatload of anxiety at times. Some people even go as far as to resist change knowing full well that it would probably be better than what they currently have because it removes them from their comfort zone. Sometimes we cause ourselves the most pain trying to hold on to what we were meant to release.Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 speaks to a time and place for everything. It speaks of change and the variations of seasons and circumstance. Before every shift, there is a sign. An indicator that a change is on the horizon. When this happens you have a choice to make. You can either ignore the sign (Possibly to your peril or demise) or you can acknowledge it and proactively prepare yourself for what's to come. This Chapter of scripture can be applied to every single aspect of one's life.

So in closing, I wish to impart a little bit of knowledge that I received from someone near and dear to me...

Observe your surroundings often. Monitor you feelings and emotions regularly. Check your "foundation" repeatedly (One's foundation is often not as solid as they sometimes think it is). Last but CERTAINLY not least...... examine your circle of "friends" and associates with the utmost scrutiny. Everyone that says they are down for you, simply are not. The ones that say that they have your back are usually the ones with their hands firmly wrapped around the knife planted in it.

Trust me folks. This dude here is not in the business of keeping people around that don't want to be kept. I have happily tossed my fair share of crabs back into the barrel they managed to claw their way out of and thankfully you can too.

All you need do is watch the for the signs.

The truth is never far behind them.

In The Midst ©

2015-06-14T09:28:00.002-05:00

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."

Deepak Chopra

Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word Midst. The one that truly stuck out to me for the purposes of today’s entry I have listed below for you:

the middle point, part, or stage (usually preceded by the):
Ex. We arrived in the midst of a storm.

As previously stated, there were a number of definitions that I could have used for this entry but I found this particular definition most relevant to today’s topic because of the example that followed the it.

We arrived in the MIDST of the storm..

I feel it’s worth noting here that in order to ever get to a place of peace, one must endure a countless number of storms. The most peaceful location within a hurricane is at it’s center. Now I’m no meteorologist or climatologist but, usually there is a whole lot of chaos preceding and following one reaching the eye of the storm.

I’m kind of getting ahead of myself though…...

More on that later.

Over the course of my life I have learned the following things:

Never focus on any emotion or feeling for too long....Good, bad or indifferent.
Being content for too long can make you complacent and unmotivated.
Being passive for too long makes you bitter and resentful.
Being optimistic for too long makes you naive and delusional.
Being angry for too long makes you unfeeling and unsympathetic.
Being sad for too long makes you depressed and hopeless.
Being animated for too long leaves you tired and exhausted.

The point ...too much of a good thing can be bad for you while too much of a bad thing will definitely kill your spirit if you allow it to.

The key in my humble opinion is to find a quiet place somewhere in the midst of all of those feelings. Let them in ...but never let them stay. We were never meant to experience emotions over an extended period of time. This explains why we have so many of them. If we were meant to hold onto a particular set of emotions then we would have had those particular emotions coded in our DNA like hair and eye color.
I say all this to say that it's ok to feel certain emotions. All of them. What’s crucial is to recognize them for what they are, truly understand the cause of said emotion, fully experience it, take the necessary action to channel it into something useful and once the emotion has passed let it go in order to move forward with your life.

Yes….. we are ALL emotional creatures. I say all because women get the rep of being hyper emotional while us men are supposedly the calm, collected ones. Take it from me.... that is simply not the case. The only thing that separates men from women emotionally is a man’s ability to apply logic to his emotions on "the fly". I must say though, i know plenty of women that have mastered this ability while i have found that some men severely lack it.

But that's another entry for another time.

We all must find a safe place within us. Meaning we have a place within ourselves where we can go when we seek happiness and peace. So many of us seek peace in external and tangible things only to constantly come up disappointed. That's because tangible things have a shelf life. It's the intangible things that prove to be timeless and more meaningful.

We must all find a serene place in the midst of the chaos of our emotions. I have found that meditation and prayer (the two can be mutually exclusive but i have found that they work well together) can aid an individual in this pursuit. However, this requires a full commitment from us to the search for the sort of peace and serenity that we seek (which i might add is not for the faint of heart). Trust me when i tell you....the more you seek to live a life of peace, the more hell you will experience before you eventually obtain it. This is why it requires the utmost attention to detail, discipline and determination to master one's emotions. Simply because we either learn to master our emotions or they will eventually master us.

Life’s storms have a way of either bringing out the best in us or the absolute worst. Believe me when I tell you that I have experienced both. The latter being the lowest point of my life while also proving to be the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to me. Only a select few will understand what I mean or how that is even possible. Yes….life’s storms will take the extremest of tolls on your psyche and well being if you allow it to. Which is why it is extremely important to never allow yourself to focus entirely on one particular emotion when things get hectic. See a lot of us tend to focus on the “dominant” emotion associated with a particular life event. I say the dominant emotion because one can experience several emotions simultaneously. We just choose to focus on one. That one emotion usually determines our response to what occurs to us.

For example:

You have an argument with you spouse/ significant other before you head to work. Which sets you in a particular mood.You replay the argument subconsciously over and over in your head throughout the day. Instead of putting the issue aside to address later and going on with your day, you choose to dwell on it. Suddenly, things that you wouldn’t think twice about or wouldn’t even pay attention to begin to irk you:

You’re not as social as you usually are with people. That one coworker that you can usually ignore is tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines. You have a “bad” day at work. The commute home was “hellacious”. Your bag falls open in the driveway on your way into the house which frustrates you. You and your spouse/ significant other walk by each other in silence for the entire evening...well at least until he or she does something that you don’t like.

Your day probably could have gone so much better had you “compartmentalized” your anger and not let it affect your attitude for an entire day. Somewhere during the day you had an opportunity to take a step back and reset. The problem is with many us is that we never do mainly because we don’t have a “safe” place within us. Our situations are only as bad as we determine that they are or we allow them to be. Peace and Serenity requires a positive response to negative stimuli. Now I am not delusional. I know that some days this is most definitely easier said than done. Especially in the society that we live in today. People are so emotionally oblivious or intentionally cruel to one another now. I mean the level of disrespect that people show one another is ridiculous. This requires us to be proactive and vigilant when it comes to our own happiness.

Benjamin Franklin said it best:

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The only person on this planet that is truly concerned about your happiness and well being on a consistent basis is you. Yes...we have family. You may even be blessed enough to have a boatload of friends. Nevertheless, they can not live your life for you and they have lives of their own. We can’t expect others to give us what we truly need and want for ourselves. It is our job to make ourselves happy, not someone else’s. Individuals have to accept the responsibility of improving their own quality of life and for finding the peace and serenity they so desperately seek. That being said, the only place where I have personally determined that peace can be found is in the midst of a stable environment. Peace is a by product of structure and order. Chaos serves only to remind you of what an environment is like void of peace. It is never meant to become the standard. Unfortunately for so many of us, chaos and confusion is our modus operandi. Individuals that live this way never have lasting peace. Every time they get it, they intentionally or unintentionally disrupt it. Some would rather sabotage their own happiness for fear of acknowledging the way that they have currently chosen to exist is toxic. That would mean acknowledging that something needs to be corrected. Heaven forbid. I mean after all …..it’s not you…...it’s them. Right?

But i digress…..

As for me....Life has taught me that in the midst of my pain and sorrow.... I find peace. Why? Well for several reasons. First. i know it’s only temporary. Second, I know that He that is greater than I am and ever could be will work everything out for my good. Thirdly, i know that once the pain is gone, i have learned the lesson and my wounds have healed….. that greater is coming. That’s how I cope. That’s my “safe" place within. It’s up to you to find yours. The sooner you do, the sooner you can obtain all of the best that life has in store for you.

Your destiny is tied to your peace. I honestly suggest you start the search for yours today.

It’s never too late.

No ….it won't be easy.

But it will most definitely be worth it.

Vexation ©

2015-06-09T15:18:00.000-05:00

What is the life of man! Is it not to shift from side to side? From sorrow to sorrow? To button up one cause of vexation only to unbutton another?

Laurence Sterne

A Google search of the word Vexation gives you the following definition:

the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.

I think that it’s safe to say that any rational thinking individual has found himself or herself in this state more often than not lately. Vexed by the ever increasing attacks on people’s civil liberties. Vexed by the disconnect between elected representatives and their constituents. Vexed by male lawmakers weighing in on a WOMAN’s right to choose. Vexed by the US interest in the business of countries half a world away while it’s own infrastructure is in decay.Vexed by the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States (If any of the previous 43 presidents had suffered the sort of indignities being tolerated by the current administration the perpetrators would have been labeled as traitors and dealt with accordingly).Vexed by the seemingly blatant disregard for a people’s inalienable rights promised to them by the US Constitution.

For the uninitiated:

inalienable

adjective

1. The definition of inalienable is: unable to be taken away or to be given to another.

Ex. The right to life and liberty are examples of rights that are described as inalienable.

Now just as taxation without representation was championed by the colonists that founded this great nation of ours to prevent unfair governing practices and demand impartial treatment from those in positions of authority across “the pond”, we as a new generation of pioneers and trailblazers must demand clarity surrounding the things that have an impact (albeit directly or indirectly) on our quality of life. Now let me be clear, vexation without clarification is about as bad if not worse than taxation without representation. For you see vexation without clarification leaves room for misinterpretation and assumptions to cause breakdowns in communication. It also allows for loopholes to be created that allows the haves to persecute and hinder the growth potential of the have nots causing a distrust of authority which in essence sows the seed of disenfranchisement.

Need some examples?

Sure thing….

Baltimore, MD - The disenfranchised made their anger with and distrust of authority perfectly clear. They are still picking up the pieces. Don’t be deceived. Baltimore’s struggles started way before the Freddie Gray incident. That incident just simply provided the spark to light the fuse on an already combustible environment.

Ferguson, MO - Blatant racial disparities that have caused tension between the residents of this city reached a fever pitch with the murder of an unarmed teenager by the name of Michael Brown (May he rest in peace). Now sadly enough, the residents of Ferguson were more outraged than surprised. Which in and of itself is a testimony of just how desensitized the rest of the American Populace has become as it relates to race relations in this country. The ability of a law enforcement agency to operate in a manner that deprives residents of this city of their inalienable rights and even in some cases their lives with total and absolute impunity speaks volumes about just how dire our nation’s straits have become.

Detroit, MI - Government misconduct drove the city into bankruptcy leaving the poor and disenfranchised to pay for the sins of those in authority. If the powers that be had been more concerned with keeping jobs in the city and maintaining their status of an Automotive industry juggernaut instead of lining their pockets for their own personal gain, the city’s current dilemma could have easily been avoided. I mean come on...How do you not try to save a city that gave you Joe Louis, Motown and the Mustang.

Chicago, IL - Easily on it’s way to becoming the murder capital of the country with no end to the killing in sight. Chicago is an example of what happens to a city when the disenfranchised’s hopes are extinguished (as is the case with the other aforementioned cities). While other sectors of the city appear to be flourishing, there is still a segment of the city’s residents that have become collateral damage of the continuing struggle that rages between the haves using up every available (and sometimes unavailable) resource at their disposal while the have nots just try to hold on to what they have. If Chicago city officials aren’t careful, they may be the next city to witness an anguished outcry as recently witnessed in the cities of Baltimore and Ferguson.

But I digress….

Now in order to keep down confusion and avoid unnecessarily vexing others, I’m careful with the words i use and for what I believe are three very important reasons:

Words once spoken can never be taken back
Words have the power to alter destinies
Oxygen is precious and should not be wasted

Thomas Jefferson (One of the founding fathers of this great nation of ours) put it best : The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. In order for us as a country to get to a place where resources are properly distributed amongst the masses - Notice I didn’t say equally distributed, that will never happen in my lifetime. Not being cynical, just realistic. For those of you still waiting on that 40 acres and a mule, i suggest you move on from that school of thought. Other cultures that now call America home have circled the wagons and are working collectively to control their own destinies by becoming economically responsible and influential by letting their resources do the talking for them. These cultures are quickly making strides and progress for their people by supporting one another and showing a unified front when an assault on their culture arises whereas sadly certain cultures and races (one in particular) haven’t made nearly as much progress in almost quadruple the time.

Which brings me to a particular topic that has vexed me ever since I became old enough to read. In case you’re wondering…. that is a very long time...

Race.

The debate on the status of race relations in this country has me totally exhausted. Every time i turn on a television set, pick up a newspaper, flip through a magazine , or log on to a social media site i see indicators of just how fragile the state of race relations is in this country truly is. I don't have to list them. You see them just like i do.

Well i’m exhausted.

People say we're regressing back to a time of segregation and racial divide. I say the division never was properly addressed in the first place. In order to regress back to a former state, the environment in question has to have disappeared or improved. Now while there have been great strides made in equal opportunity for those of different races, creeds, colors and orientation….. as long as there are individuals harbouring animosity towards people's differences and individual’s God given right to live life as the Most High has seen fit to bless them with and the US Constitution has guaranteed them, we as a society will never move past the plateau of ignorance that currently restricts us from moving away from a painful bookmark in the annals of this nation’s history.

Now I know what some of you are going to say, here we go again. Someone spouting off an opinion about discrimination against blacks and white privilege....as if we don't have enough folks out there spewing their opinions all over the place.

I couldn't agree with you more.

But i hate to break it you.... racial discrimination is real and so is the idea of white privilege. I mean a dialogue is necessary. Now i don't WANT to have it. As a matter of fact, i just want everyone to go to their corners and chill for second. My ideal state of existence would be one where people's skin color, sexual orientation, address and zip code or financial status didn't dictate how they were treated. My idea of a Utopian society is one where people are not automatically labeled as something just because of their appearance or "presentation". Where people are allowed to be themselves free of society's attempts to kill their individualism and their spirit. And be not deceived... racism and classism strike at the very heart of individualism.

For the uninitiated:

Racism

the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

Classism

prejudice against or in favor of people belonging to a particular social class

Now, I am not an expert on race relations in this country. I do however pride myself in having an open mind and an unbiased perspective due to having an understanding of the fact that the two aforementioned items (discrimination and elitist principlism) tend to be at the forefront every decision made (or not made in this country).

Now, as for me…. i personally am sick of ALL of it. The endless discussions pertaining to racial divide, the blatant disrespect of various segments of this society's culture and history, the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States because the current occupant just happens to not look like the previous forty-three, the killing of unarmed citizens by poorly trained law enforcement officials (we'll just roll with that for now.... but trust me.... I'm not delusional ), the perpetuation of incendiary rhetoric by our "media outlets" to keep our fears and people's hatred front and center as well as the constant trolling of the ignorant and uneducated on social media. The droves of people willing to march for numerous of city blocks for “justice” but unwilling to extend a hand in friendship to the cat living next door. The hypocrisy of our “leaders” who speak loud and carry a big stick...well….. at least until they start making their sponsors uncomfortable.

I'm sick of all of it. I'm tired of discussing it. When does this ride stop. 'Cause I'm ready to get off. The unfortunate thing is that society won’t let me get off. As bad as I would like to. You see I’m born with a rep. As nice a person and upstanding citizen as I attempt to be, I will always be immediately characterized until I open my mouth (If I get the chance).... And even then there is no guarantee that my word will alleviate your worst fears.

I think the thing that vexes me the most is the fact that all of the aforementioned things are regularly entertained by or tolerated by people. Heaven forbid if you decide for yourself that you no longer wish to tolerate or entertain people’s foolishness. Then you are somehow labeled as mentally disturbed, antisocial, socially awkward or worse. Being an individual thinker makes you a target of those that have chose to surrender their individuality and in some cases their logic. A wise person told me long ago that common sense is not really that common. I didn’t know exactly what they meant when they first said that to me. Now I absolutely understand the message they were trying to convey. One or two minutes of scrolling through your social media news feed or 15 minutes of watching your national as well as your local news and you will understand as well. It’s absolutely laughable what passes for the “right” thing these days:

Duct taping a dog’s muzzle shut
Using glue as lubricant for sex (No….. I didn’t make that up)
Politicians saying that they wish they had said they were transgender in high school so they could have showered with girls (Kind of wish I had made that up...but alas i did not *sigh*).
Calling a transgender woman heroic (Others have done it way before they did with no fanfare to speak of)
A church allowing their minister to purchase a 65 million Jet (Jesus rode a donkey, sir… a borrowed one I might add)
The Charlie Challenge (Jokes on all of you that tried that ish. It was a marketing ploy for an upcoming movie).
The “Hold a Coke with your Boobs” challenge (No explanation needed)

And the list goes on and on…. and on…..unfortunately.

Sometimes I just want to ask people….. so you thought that was the right thing to do, huh. I would actually wait for a response. I mean seriously, the stuff that passes for socially acceptable behavior worries the ish out of me. I wouldn’t even be able to handle non socially unacceptable behavior. Might even make me holla for my homies Smith and Wesson to give them 44 reasons to get some act right. Today’s society is full of disrespectful, rude, self-centered, narcissistic, and outright evil people. I mean just look at the headlines. Now granted, the media basically sensationalizes everything for ratings and website hits, but still some of the crap that people do these days defies sense and sensibility. Don’t believe me? How about a parent disciplining their child getting national attention. A teacher trying to maintain order in his class by disciplining an unruly child gets him a child cruelty charge (Man….where was this ish when I was in grade school), a man choosing to become a woman gets more attention than a man practically bringing electricity to over 600 million people in a third world country.

Need I go on?

Didn’t think so….

It is a sad, sad commentary on the state of rational thinking in this country….Hell I would even venture say across the globe. It’s no wonder there are nations around the globe that have an unspoken hatred for (However, some actually have been quite vocal as of late) towards our nation. Now, don’t color me as unpatriotic or my rhetoric as treasonous. I just believe in not ignoring the obvious. Call me the Elephant Whisperer. For the record……. I think that mofo is more Fuchsia than pink.

I’ll let that one set in for a sec….

So yes! A brother is vexed to say the least. However, just because one is vexed doesn’t mean that they can allow their vexation to turn into cynicism or skepticism. Now granted one has to be realistic when looking at the events of today in order to correctly understand the actual state of things in their environment. Nevertheless, this doesn’t have to cause one’s conscience to become seared. The minute we allow ourselves to become numb to what’s going on around us, is the minute when society’s moral compass becomes practically ineffective. I.e., it becomes ok to view things as normal that were once considered taboo. It soon becomes acceptable to take what you have no right to simply because you want it having not put in any sweat equity. Soon the definition of love becomes conditional upon your cooperation with things that fly in the face of what it means to truly love someone. Soon one’s words and actions regularly don’t align and this is deemed acceptable. Soon our children’s disrespectful behavior towards their elders is overlooked by their “parents” and as deemed ok or “cute”…..until they end up at the end of drawn weapon of an individual that has no regard for their life or their future.

It’s high time that people of all races, creed, color or sexual orientation become more responsible inhabitants of this planet. Whether we all believe it or wish to accept it we are all connected. This universe we live in is vast and apparently infinite. We tend to occasionally act as if we are “it” in the universe. We reside on a pebble (Planet Earth) in a pond (The Milky Way)….surrounded by a lake that outflows into an ocean. Let that sink in for a minute. Now put that in perspective. The closest planet to us that even closely resembles ours is said to be 13 light years away (That’s far away in case you were wondering). So...no. I mean big up to Richard Branson and everyone trying to build space shuttles and what not but ummmmmm….. it’s not like another “Earth” is up the block. That being said, we as a species (just in case it’s lost on some of you that read this ….we are all human beings) need to do a better job of getting along on this little blue marble we’ve been blessed to inhabit. I mean after all...it is LITERALLY all that we have. Now granted, we as a species have been extremely irresponsible with old Mother Earth. I mean down right disrespectful. I don’t have to call the roll. We know how we’ve mistreated and continue to mistreat her. We just need to do better. All of us...myself included. Trust …. i know my carbon footprint is ridiculous. A brotha is working on it though. And that in essence ladies and gentlemen is the key. We all have to do our part to make this world we live in better for us having been a resident of it. Every environment that you enter should be better for you having been there both literally and figuratively. See trash on the ground? Put it in the trash can (These days it’s usually laying next to the trash can anyway...smh), Unplug the charger, turn off unused lights, carpool, recycle or perform a random act of kindness every single day (What you consider insignificant may just make someone’s day). The ways in which an individual can make this planet a better place for themselves and those around them is virtually endless. I promise you making the world a better place is not as difficult as one may think. It’s just a matter of everyone simply doing “their” part. Don’t you ever - even for one second- think that your contribution towards making this world we live in better for all is meaningless.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

One of the most lauded and influential Football Coaches of all time said it best:

Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work - the late great Vince Lombardi

The fortunate thing about vexation is that it usually precedes change. We as humans tend not to make an effort to change something that we don't like until it gets on out nerves. So embrace the anxiety. Use it to make the positive change you need to make in your life. Anxiety and nerves are only counterproductive when the energy is not put to use. SO! Is where you are in life making you uncomfortable? That mate, job, situation, condition tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines?

Good.

Vexation often leads to audacity.

So I leave you with this question....

How bold are you?

Structural Integrity©

2015-04-13T21:17:00.000-05:00

Whatever good things we build end up building us – Jim Rohn

Structural Integrity as defined by the online reference resource TermWiki is a term used in a guarantee or warranty to assure that a structure’s composition and/or construction will remain intact (for the purposes of this entry, a structure takes on various forms which I will go over later in greater detail).

In order to build a new structure, you have to demolish the old structure currently standing in the place you wish to build, properly get rid of the rubbish from the demolition, check the foundation and make any necessary repairs to the foundation to ensure that it’s solid. Only then can you properly build the new structure with the assurance that it can handle the purpose intended for it. The most important part of a structure is its foundation. A solid building foundation can mean the difference between a building’s structural integrity lasting a few years or a few centuries. The weaker the foundation the shorter the life span of the structure.

The lives we lead resemble this analogy a lot more than you may realize. In order for an individual to reach their full potential and understand the Creator’s purpose for their lives, there are certain things in it that must be evaluated and if necessary removed. Anything that is hindering a person from becoming who they wish to become, doing what they wish to do, or living the way that they wish to live has no business in their life. Negative associations, relationships, or affiliations – however you wish to classify them oftentimes are the main catalyst in an individual not reaching or even realizing their full potential. No matter how uncomfortable parting ways from a lifelong friend or associate who has been more of an hindrance than of assistance may be, it has to be done. Otherwise you may find yourself unable to make any progress and leading an unproductive and unfulfilling life while unfortunately harboring a life full of regrets.

The earlier you realize that you were created for a purpose and that you were not an accident or some freak of nature regardless of what circumstances you came into this world under, the sooner you will begin to live the life you have always wanted. Now, discovery of purpose involves several factors and they vary depending upon the individual in pursuit of it. Some of those factors include:

The Proper Mindset

The Proper Perspective

The Proper Motivation

The Proper Affiliations

The Proper Direction

And last but certainly not least …. the Proper Spiritual Foundation

As I alluded to earlier in this entry, the proper foundation is everything when it comes to building something. Structures with the proper foundation can stand for centuries through the harshest conditions, most irresponsible of tenants or most extenuating of circumstances. Let’s take some of the ancient monuments and structures that have been erected the world over as examples…. The Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Taj Mahal, The Eiffel Tower, St Peters Basilica, the Washington Monument, The Sydney Opera House not to mention the Pyramids that have been built by a number of civilizations (The Incans, Mayans, Egyptians and Chinese) to name but a few. These engineering marvels have stood for years; even centuries.

Now for those of you that out there who like me aren’t Architects, Stone Masons or Structural Engineers, let me bring it a little closer to home…..

Families with the proper foundation (values) leave legacies that last for generations. Marriages with the proper foundation (Being equally yoked) can last well into one’s golden years. Children with the proper foundation (principles) grow up to lead fruitful and productive lives. Individuals with the proper foundation (morals) know that you leave more in this world that you take from it. As Mark Twain so elegantly said:

Don’t go around saying that the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing…. It was here first.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that feel like everyone in the world owes them something. They walk around with a delusional sense of entitlement. The sad thing is that where this type of thought process was not as prevalent amongst individuals in the past, it is running through today’s society in epidemic proportions. A mindset that once was a rarity is now unfortunately the norm and extremely infectious. If one is not careful, Delusional Entitlement Syndrome as I like to call it can be highly contagious. This type of thinking has all but eroded society’s once unspoken code of “paying dues” to obtain success. Now it’s all about how many people you can throw under the bus on your way to the top. Today we live in a society of instant everything. A society where ethics and morality take a backseat to greed and self-indulgence. The thing these people most must realize is the same people you step on to get to the top are the same ones you’re going to see on your way back down the road to destruction. It’s gravity, baby. What goes up must eventually come down. The key is to insure that your decent is not a rapid one. The unadulterated truth of the matter is that deceitful and manipulative tactics all but assure the perpetrator a rapid decent with disastrous consequences (in this life or the next).

One thing I have discovered as I grow older and a little wiser with each passing day that is missing from today’s society, is an individual connection to the history of one’s respective culture (Some more so than others). A connection to one’s history is in this humble author’s opinion the ultimate cornerstone of a properly laid foundation. For the uninitiated, a brief explanation of the Cornerstone (“Foundation Stone” as it is sometimes called) concept. The cornerstone (or foundation stone) concept is derived from the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure.

Now there are several other examples and scenarios I could cover in relation to the importance of having a strong foundation for the structure you wish to build (whatever that structure may represent for you). For fear of sounding repetitive or redundant, I will simply leave you with a little bit of advice someone near and dear to me shared with me.…

The Five P’s are the best example to me of laying the proper foundation before undertaking any endeavor. For those unfamiliar with them, they go a little something like this:

Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance

This principle can be applied to anything….. your occupation, your marriage, your family, your relationships or associations, your goals and dreams, your home…… your life. With proper planning, obstacles don’t seem so overwhelming. With proper planning, you have a reference point to return to when you “lose your way”. With the proper planning, you won’t be easily distracted and can remain focused on the goal or objective you wish to reach. With the proper planning, you are able to live your life as opposed to allowing your life and its circumstances to control you.

Whatever thing you wish to build or create, the best way of ensuring it's longevity is to make sure that the foundation that it is built upon is solid and sound.

Life after Death ©

2015-01-16T14:46:00.002-06:00

Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment – Buddha

Allow me to take you on a journey.

One that I hope will awaken the critical thinker that lives within you. Now… I have to preface this entry by saying that I plan on covering a lot and I will definitely delve into a broad range of content. As with all my entries, this entry is being written from my viewpoint and perspective on a variety of topics and states of existence. I entitled this entry life after death primarily because one has to lay to rest those things that prevent them from experiencing a life of purpose and fulfillment. Last Rites have to be performed for old habits, toxic relationships, negative influences, past regrets, and fear of future success. Basically, the person society has forced you to become has to die before the person you are destined to become can live.

The world that we live in if you let it will make you question everything that you believe about yourself. People will make you believe that you are the worst kind of person simply for not believing as they believe. Some people will even dedicate their every waking minute in ensuring that your life is a hectic one. But the wonderful thing about the life of a believer is that there is always one that you can go to that is never too busy, always encouraging , loves you despite your flaws and imperfections and understands when you are weary in your well doing without judgment. There is one when it’s all said and done and the smoke clears will always have your back, even when you haven’t always been consistently loyal to them. HE is a way maker. HE is your vindicator. HE stands in the gap deflecting things that the enemy means to use for your destruction. HE loves without dissimulation and unconditionally. Truth be told…… HIS love is the only true love that I have even known. I have never had to show HIM how to love me. HE just knows. When love is right and that person is the one HE wants you to have, they will know exactly how to love you. They will give you everything they have without you even asking. They will open their heart to you without any motives or hidden agendas. They will bestow upon you the genuine love that the Creator intends for you to have. They will simply be an extension of HIM.

The key is, keeping your heart open to receive it. Trust me…. I know how difficult that can be at times. This world will make you cold if you let it. See the kind hearted individual has a tough road to travel in this life. Kind hearted people understand that no one is perfect and treats people the way that they wish to be treated. They understand that this life can be a difficult one and that everyone needs someone. Kind hearted people take it upon themselves to be that person. They are the ones that the Most High decides to use to get a word to or to send a blessing through. The unfortunate thing about our society today is that it is these very same people who often find themselves persecuted for “fighting the good fight”. For standing up when others are either too scared, too comfortable or too content with the status quo. See ….Kind hearted people think big picture and are selfless. They understand that the needs of the whole outweigh the desires of the few. It never fails though….. Time after time these individual’s kindness are taken for weakness (Sometimes to the spoiling of their soul) at times leaving them at a crossroads:

Do I continue on?
Why am I putting up with all this stuff?
Why am I sticking my neck out for these people? They don’t even appreciate or even care about what I’m doing.
Why am I even doing this?
Do I give up and let someone else carry load?

Truly grounded and kind hearted individuals know that the answers are:

Yes
Because this season is only temporary and HIS will must be fulfilled.
It doesn’t matter what they think. It’s not about them. This is YOUR test.
Because this is your assignment. You were built for this. HE doesn’t make mistakes. Trust…even when you can’t trace.
No. Christ couldn’t.

This brings me to the topic of today’s discussion.

In this life, I have died 1000 times if not more. Not to sound morbid, but sometimes it is necessary for a part of us to die in order for us to be reborn and rejuvenated. This allows us to step into the creator’s true purpose for our lives. We all know that there have been times over the course of our lives when all seemed lost. Even the most optimistic of us have to call a situation or circumstance what it is. There are times (due to the fact that we are human beings) that something looks down right bad to us when in all actuality the situation is merely working to prepare you for something better. The truth of the matter is, the moment you label a situation as hopeless, you are in all actuality releasing it to the only one that could fix it anyway. Trust me I know. I have caused myself the most pain trying to fix things that were never in my wheelhouse. I should have given it to The One and moved on. But me and this damn A Type Personality of mine got to try to fix everything. All I ended up doing was stressing myself the hell out and aggravating a lot of people in the process. Those that know me ….know me. The wonderful thing about my circle is that we lift each other up. That’s rare these days. Folks nowadays would rather tear you down than build you up. The Word of God says that “iron sharpens iron”. To me this means that your circle needs to be such that where you are weak, you have someone in your circle that emboldens you to be strong enough to overcome that weakness and you in return are to be that for them. Unfortunately the world is so full of what I refer to as “Emotional Leeches”. You know who they are….. the ones that always need “an ear” but are never there for you when it’s time to return the favor. Yeah…those folks. The ones that always need you to pray for them or is asking you to intercede on their regards but when it’s time to stand in the gap for you are curiously M.I.A.. Yeah …those folks. The ones that will scream at the top of their lungs that they got your back and are down for you ….until it’s time to actually show up. Yeah….those folks. But hey …… they’re Leeches. You know they can’t stand the heat. The truth to an emotional leech is like a BIC Lighter. The thing about leeches is that they will continue to drain you as long as you allow them to. The minute you discover one, it’s best to remove it as quickly as possible.

Unspoken obligations can also be extremely taxing and draining and to me is just an extension of emotionally parasitic behavior. People automatically assume that just because you look like you “got it all together” that you are available for them to dump all of their cares and rubbish on and because you are as strong as you are you try to shoulder the load. However, there comes a time where even the strong needs someone to maybe not carry the load but to just take it off of their back and shoulders for just a second so they can have a break. The truly strong understand the concept of carrying their weight and accepting responsibility for themselves and sometimes others. Unfortunately just like with anything else, this is a trait of the truly strong that regularly gets exploited. Just because someone can carry your load doesn’t mean they have to or you should make them. Take responsibility for yourself and your own actions. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. If you made the mess, then by all means clean it up. That’s the mark of true maturity. We have a lot of “grown ups” out here that can’t even grasp that concept. The truly unfortunate thing is that it is these same people that are out here trying to raise children. Then some of you wonder why the state of our youth is what it is. The time has come for people to start celebrating our differences instead of letting them divide us. We all inhabit this planet…. together. It is ours to share. The Earth is not one class’, creed’s, culture’s or race’s to rule or dominate. Whether you believe as I believe or not (And for record let be known that I am Servant of the Most High God), the fact that there are so many different kinds of people on this planet is not an accident. Contrary to popular belief these days, no one race has the right to oppress another. Now don’t get it twisted, each person that walks this Earth has a responsibility to their ancestry to be the best individual they can possibly be. We have a responsibility to show the world the best of us and of the culture we represent... but not at the expense of another race, creed, class or culture’s freedom. Now there is another side to that coin. I love my people but just because someone looks like you does not make them automatically trustworthy. On the same note, just because someone looks nothing like you, serves another God (or no God) or lives a completely different lifestyle than you does not mean that they aren’t trustworthy or aren’t worthy of compassion, empathy or respect. In this life you get what you give. I don’t care WHAT you look like or any of the aforementioned traits….. if you intentionally cross or disrespect me..you will rue the day that you did. That’s not a Black thing, a White thing, a Hispanic thing, Native American, German, Hindu, Vietnamese or Polk-a-dot and Purple thing. That’s a “We are all citizens of this planet thing” and the definition of the title Citizen according to Merriam-Webster Online is:

A person who belongs to a country and has the rights and protections of that country. A person who lives in a particular place.

Let’s revisit a portion of that definition for a second.

“Has the rights and protections of that country”

Well….

Given the events that have transpired over the past few years in this country, one would think that there was a new amendment drafted and attached to the constitution that we weren’t made aware of. One revoking the right to assembly and freedom of speech. One that trumps the Fourteenth Amendment or the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Police Brutality, Racial Profiling, Unequal pay for women and minorities, and the systematic character assassination of individuals for having certain standards or that don’t necessarily agree with the status Quo are at a fever pitch. How about the just outright disrespect of the office of the President of the United States. I mean seriously…let’s just forget the fact that the current President is African American. Let’s take a different look at it. What if ANYONE… white, black or otherwise heckled Ronald Reagan during media session on the White House Lawn. That would have probably been considered treason. You see how Kanye West was vilified for the infamous “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” statement. I mean the dude was a pariah for years. Now with that being said I do believe that we have individual responsibility in keeping ourselves out of or removing ourselves from environments that could prove hazardous to our health. However, in light of recent events I have come to the realization that sometimes….. sometimes trouble comes looking for you. Just ask the slew of individuals within the last few months alone that have been victimized for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, minding their own business but unfortunately having the wrong “presentation”. Once upon a time when speaking of those tasked with our safety and security, you could honestly say that the majority of the individuals behind the badge were honestly doing their very best to and giving their all to protect and serve . Unfortunately, it’s a new day. In all my years, I have never seen such absolute abuse of power and authority by members of law enforcement as I have in recent months. Or maybe now with everybody and their momma (literally) having a camera, there is just more evidence of it (Not that that even matters – Rest in Power Eric Garner).

But I digress...

Individuals walk this planet everyday with the ability to decide whether to live or die, but not in regards to their actual mortality. I truly believe that an individual has the ability to decide whether or not they can have a life full of joy and fruitfulness or one of despair and stagnation. In my humble opinion, a life full of joy and fruitfulness grants one life and in essence gives life to those around that individual. Then there is the other side of that coin. The one that leads of life of negativity and pessimism does nothing but corrupt the environment they are in. The thing about both of those scenarios is that both individuals have a choice in which life they choose to lead. Yes….. Negativity and pessimism is a choice. So never let anyone sell you on the fact that that is just the way that they are. They have chosen to be that one that works everybody’s last damn nerve. They have chosen to be the one who will not listen to reason. They have chosen to be lazy. Your life is a sum total of the decisions that you have made over the course of your life. Meaning…. that you have no one to blame for the condition of your life but yourself. Life throws us all a curve or two from time to time. It’s up to you how to respond. Are you going to give in or will for pick yourself up, dust yourself off and fight on? My prayer for you is that you do the latter. The road of life is littered with the cast off dreams of those who decided to let life get the best of them. Don’t add yours to the collection. Press on. No matter how much you want to quit. No matter how hard things appear to be. Press on. Don’t give in. I know it’s easy to resign to setting up permanent residence in your comfort zone. But no one has ever discovered their destiny or their divinely appointed assignment balled up in the fetal position in a corner in their comfort zone. Fortune favors the bold. Those audacious enough to venture down the road seldom travelled. Those individuals are the ones that enjoy life to the fullest and revel in the life that the Most High has promised all who strive to live their lives righteously. Notice I didn’t say perfectly. I said righteously. There definitely is a difference between the two. The major difference being that living righteously allows for mistakes while living perfectly (which is utterly impossible) does not. I personally, am far from perfect. As a matter of fact I am guaranteed to screw something the hell up at LEAST once a day. Thing about that though is I will not quit until I fix what I have messed up. Not because I’m fear making mistakes but simply because I take great pride in my reputation. I never want it said that I can’t be trusted to do anything properly. That’s a personal preference though. Some people are perfectly fine with being a screw-up. They are perfectly fine with allowing others to come behind them and clean up their mess. Me? Not so much. I absolutely can’t stand having to clean up after irresponsible people. My attitude towards people in this category is “If you don’t give a damn… why should I?”

Just sayin…..

If you don’t pay your light bill so you can cop those new Js, don’t complain to me about sitting the dark.

If you don’t pay your car note because you want to go to that Roots Concert, please don’t call me for a ride.

If you don’t put food in your fridge because you got to get your hair and nails done or you just dropped an insane amount of singles at the shake joint…. there is a shelter, mission or soup kitchen in your city you need to hit up ASAP.

Now don’t get it twisted, those in true need I assist wholeheartedly. Assisting irresponsible people for me is optional.

But I digress....

Now.... for the good news.

There is life after death.

No… I’m not speaking of reincarnation; however there are several studies out there that attempt to make a case for it. No, I’m not speaking on the beautiful account of the one that conquered death so those that believe as I believe would have the right to the tree of life and a shot at eternal life.

No, the resurrection of which I speak has to do with one’s new life once they have decided to lay to rest the burdens of their past. See it’s living in the past that keeps a great many of us from stepping into a bold and brighter future. Harboring guilt about things that the Most High has already forgiven us for. Unforgiveness is a beast. It’s a form of purgatory all its own. It keeps the person in a constant state of cynicism and bitterness. It prevents the individual from moving forward with their life for harboring animosity towards someone that has moved on with their life and could truly care less about you or your “hurt feelings”. Well I have some words of advice for those suffering from this condition or that finds themselves in this state of existence currently:

Let that ish go, man. No one is worth that kind of energy.

Go to that person (like an adult) and express your feelings and concerns. Either they are going to receive it or they aren’t. Regardless of whether or not the outcome is what you expect or wish it to be…. Let it go. You did your part. Now you can move on with your life. A life full of purpose and promise. Not one trolling your alleged violator’s Facebook page and Twitter feed looking for any reason to substantiate your reason for disliking them. Just sayin…. While you are doing your daily social media investigation of their lives, they are actually living theirs. So log the hell off and get to living yours. Life is to be lived to the absolute fullest. Passionately and without an ounce of regret. Forgive others regularly, forgive yourself often ….then step boldly and confidently into your new existence.

I leave you with an absolutely profound yet simplistic quote from American Actress, Singer, Playwright, Screenwriter and cinema darling Mae West:

You only live once, but if you do it right…once is enough.

The War Within Redux (The war rages on) ©

2014-10-08T17:38:00.001-05:00

Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win – Sun Tzu

A status report from the frontlines from the desk of 41 year vet Staff Sergeant JT Morris II (333 Regiment – Armor Bearer Corps)

Ten – hut!!

At ease….

Dearest Brothers and Sisters-at-Arms,

I want to first thank you for your vigilant efforts to keep the forces of evil at bay. The enemy is busy attempting to destroy everything in its path and their forces are tenacious, their methods devious and unscrupulous. There have been innumerable battles waged and still countless more to come. But know that your courage and strength in the face of the enemy’s relentless attacks has not gone unnoticed and is certainly not unappreciated. I know firsthand what it means to step onto the field of battle with the odds completely stacked against you. I know the anxiety of girding yourself for war not knowing whether or not you will even return from the field of battle yet having to muster the courage to make the ultimate sacrifice if necessary. I know what it’s like to find yourself separated from your comrades having to take on the enemy with nothing more than a promise that no weapon formed against you shall prosper and the tenacity to see the battle to its ultimate conclusion (Even if its ultimate conclusion means my demise). For as with all true soldiers it’s not the fear of death that consumes us, it’s the fear of not having given our all on the field of battle in pursuit of victory if the cause is virtuous enough.

My fellow Soldiers of Light …. stay encouraged!

Many an intended death blow has been landed, yet here you remain. Battered, broken and scarred at times beyond recognition. Yet here you remain….immovable. The enemy keeps making a serious mistake with you which ultimately will be their undoing….. they keep leaving you alive to fight another day. They constantly underestimate your survivability and resolve. Ain’t no quit in you and this absolutely baffles your attackers. You survived their attack and now you are wiser, stronger and more determined than ever to see the enemy conquered. Now understand that we will not always be aware of how close we may be to victory or defeat. There will be times when all seems lost and hope may begin to fade. The important thing to always remember at times like this is that the battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s. He will not suffer you to be defeated. You may lose a battle or two….or twenty …. but remain encouraged for you are promised to win the war if you stand fast on the promises of the One that will supply you with everything you will ever need to be victorious.

Now there will be those in our ranks that secretly have aligned themselves with the enemy and will seek to destroy us from within. For as the word of God so clearly and eloquently states:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places – Ephesians 6:12

The key here is to recognize the enemy when you see them. Use the God given discernment that you have been graced with and accept them for who they are –Those that wish to disgrace and ultimately destroy the Kingdom of the Most High and every single thing associated with it. Enemies of the State. One doesn’t have to get a passport stamp or watch CNN to see a terrorist. They reside right here among us. I observe them every single solitary day. Preying on the destitute, slandering those that be of upright conversation, the gossipers, those that seek to destroy the promise of undiscovered greatness in those that they see around them. The unfortunate thing is that those that have found their way into our ranks are not as easily recognizable as they once were. Unfortunately, so many in our ranks have begun to allow the enemy to use them causing more chaos and confusion than the enemy ever could on their best day. Ours is a society that relishes in the exigent circumstance. Short version…..an Exigent Circumstance is a Circumstance that for all intents and purposes “requires” an immediate response. The term is typically used by law enforcement to justify circumventing certain laws and policies but it can easily be applied to society’s mindset as a whole. Individuals today are twice as fast to respond as they are to listen which is the total opposite of what the Creator intended. After all, the majority of the individuals that I have encountered in this life all had one mouth and two ears. Meaning that the Most High wanted want us to listen more than we speak. Actively listen to what is being said. Try within all your ability to comprehend what is said to you or around you. Sadly, individuals today listen to respond instead of actively listening to understand what a person is saying to them. This unfortunately has sparked a many an unnecessary dispute and unnecessarily sows seed of strife in soil that has been designated to bear bountiful fruit completely ruining future harvests. Every spiteful action taken or unfavorable word spoken against you does not require a response. Sometimes the best response to those pessimistic or cynical individuals that you find within your ranks is no response at all. Now no one is saying that this will be easy or to be anyone’s emotional doormat. I mean come on. Honestly.. the easiest thing to do is to respond in kind, especially if the offense is personal enough. However, as one matures the “big picture” becomes more important immediate personal gratification. The hand that you bite today may have to feed your children tomorrow. The person you unnecessarily tormented may eventually hold the key to your survival. Karma is not a respecter of persons and the Homo Sapiens’s statute of limitations on Mercy has the most stringent of time constraints. Notice I said human being’s capacity for mercy. God’s mercies are renewed daily and were it not for His graciousness, a lot of us would have been lost long ago. I personally have been the beneficiary of the Most High’s mercy more times than I can or even care to count. Which is why I no longer take His or anyone’s ability to forgive for granted and try to be more of a compassionate individual myself (Sometimes to a fault).

But I digress…

It’s amazing how a manuscript a couple of millennia old can speak so specifically to the state of affairs in today’s society. Ephesians 6:12 describes in absolute detail the all out assault that has been launched by the enemy to control your actions through sectors of our world’s government and unfortunately we have begun to freely relinquish a great many of the rights many of our Ancestors sweated, bled and died for. Cameras everywhere practically monitoring your every move, Population Control to limit and sometimes stop procreation, an assault on true freedom of speech (being vocal or sharing your beliefs may cost you your life or livelihood depending on where you live), Classism, Racism (Alive and well… don’t get it twisted) are but a few examples of how the world’s government are subtly (or not so subtly depending in what region of the world you reside) suppressing the masses’ ability to live freely and bountifully.

To my reluctant warriors out there, be not dismayed or guilt ridden in fighting the good fight for the word says that there is a time and place for everything (Eccl 3 chapter) and that there is absolutely nothing new under the sun ( Eccl 1:9). Trust and believe that at some point that someone, somewhere is fighting the same sort of battle that you find yourself in the midst of. Yet while the circumstances are similar your tactics and strategy are not. You were made an original, therefore your response to what happens to you is yours and yours alone. Make sure that it is in line with who you are and Whose you are.

To my prayer warriors out there, keep sending them up. We need those prayers now more than ever. Society as a whole is in absolute disarray. Up is down, left is right. Time tested roles and old fashioned values have taken a back seat to what’s flavor of the week….sorry of the day (Most people’s attention span nowadays lasts about…… huh? What were you saying?).

Turn down for what? How about because some of you should be freakin’ exhausted from doing waaaaayy too much. Some of you need to sit the hell down and act your age. As a matter of fact, have SEVERAL seats…... Immediately without hesitation. I’m getting tired just watching you. Just sayin’…..

To my prayer warriors, pray for peace. The world we live in today needs you on your knees, on your face, in your closet, basically wherever your ‘quiet place” may happen to be. Lift us up and keep us lifted because please believe that the enemy is working double overtime to silence you. I’m reminded of my namesake in the Word of the Most High:

Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much – James 5:16

The word that stands out in that passage is “healed”. So many people today are simply looking for redemption. Society is so full of broken and guilt ridden individuals. Being born and raised in the “Bible Belt”, I witnessed firsthand people getting beat over the head with the Word for their transgressions by some the same people I just happened to be elbow to elbow with at “spot” just a few hours earlier two steppin’. Now don’t get it twisted or misconstrue what I’m saying, hypocrisy is everywhere. There is not one institution on the planet that doesn’t have its share of it. However, I for one don’t stand for it simply because there are no perfect people on this planet. We have all done our share of dirt and have had a fall (or two) from grace. That beingsaid, make it a point to show compassion wherever and whenever you can. Never underestimate the power of prayer. It truly changes things. It most certainly moves mountains….

So in closing, I leave you with one last word of encouragement and motivation from the Book of Ecclesiastes:

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all - Ecclesiastes 9:11

That’s it for my report from the front.

Know that the war rages on and that I’m in the trenches shoulder to shoulder with you. Don’t be disillusioned, war truly is hell. There’s no two ways about it. There will be casualties. There will be loss (sometimes extreme). The thing about warfare is that it tends to bring out the absolute best and/or the absolute worst in an individual. It either makes one strong or breaks them down to the point that they are unrecognizable to anyone that knows or loves them. It usually does come down to survival of the fittest…. but not in the way that you may think. You can have the fittest body in the world, knock out a 15 mile march with the best of them or hit a target at 1000 yards with the greatest of ease. But ask any soldier where it all starts and they will probably tell you that it begins in one place….. your mind. If the body is fit but the mind is broken, you are and never will be any good to anyone….not even yourself. The body cannot live without the mind. That being said, before you enter any battle or step onto any battlefield …. still your mind….focus on your objective….formulate a plan …. and do everything in your power to execute that plan with precision and absolute decisiveness.

Sometimes you only get one shot at your target on the battlefield of life.....

Make it count.

True change: The Price of indifference (What’s Love got to do with it?) ©

2014-08-07T12:31:00.000-05:00

Romans 8:37

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Now you may be asking, what’s up with the title?

For those of you that truly know me the topic choice seems really strange and I admit it is a little outside of my normal “cool and calm” demeanor. I rarely let things rattle me to the point of indifference. But lately I have had some things happen that have forced me to alter my perspective on things somewhat. “What is the cause of my indifference” you may ask (then again you might not … but I’m gonna tell you anyway). The source of my indifference is plain and simple. Frankly, Ya boy is just plain sick and tired of being sick and tired. Tired of partisan politics, tired of high gas prices, tired of loved ones coming back in body bags, tired of mudslinging politicians and simple minded pundits, tired of people’s lack of respect for one another, tired placing my trust in people only to be disappointed, tired of being a giver in a world full of takers, and unfortunately my list goes on and on.

Yes, tired of being a giver in a world full of takers. I felt like that warranted repeating. You see there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Unfortunately until you determine which one you are, you are not a damn bit of good to anyone…. Not even yourself. Now I know plenty of people who profess to be givers, yet all they do is take. Regrettably, takers are just takers and you definitely know one when you see one (Then again, sometimes you don’t). Honest self reflection is the only way we can determine your heart’s condition. Do you have the heart of a giver (which would make you an individual after God’s own heart) or is yours that of a taker (Basically meaning, that all you do is think about yourself never truly taking the feelings and concerns of other’s under consideration and when you do….. it is only because you stand to gain something from it)?

I personally have the heart of a giver. I am sometimes selfless to a fault. I will be the first to admit that. I know that I sometimes overextend myself for the ones that I love. But in all honesty, if I can’t love you unconditionally then how can I truthfully say that I love you. Unfortunately, I can’t. People use the word Love far too loosely these days. Please by all means, don’t say it if you don’t truly mean it. Words have power and the word Love carries an enormous amount of power and influence all by itself.

I’ll give you a few examples of what I mean:

Love will make you do things that you swore to yourself that you would never do. Love will make you put yourself in harm’s way for the ones you love. Love will make you look beyond the one you love’s faults and shortcomings (Mainly because we ourselves are not perfect), Love will make you give your last (insert here) to insure that the one you love never suffers any pain or discomfort. Love can either cause many a sleepless night or grant you some of the soundest sleep you have ever had in your life. True love makes you do all of these things and more without reservation or precondition……

…Or at least it should anyway.

Nevertheless, there are far too many people in today’s society professing to love people without a clear understanding of what it truly takes to love someone. Love is only complicated because we choose to make it so. Treat the one you profess to love the way you would like to be treated and I guarantee you that what you have will work. I am a living witness to that. Love is more than just lip service. In this writer’s humble opinion, love is 90% action and 10% verbalization. You will NEVER have to tell me you love me if I can honestly see and feel that you love me in your actions towards me and by the way you treat me. Don’t just tell me you love me R.A.C.E. with me (When you get a moment, revisit my earlier entry “A Lesson in R.A.C.E. relations”).

Hence my indifference. My indifference stems from those takers in my life. Those individuals that are only around as long as they are getting what they want and need regardless of what “It” happens to be.

You know who you are and just in case you don’t…well let me call the roll:

My family (Not all of you but you know who you are), my exes (Not all of you but you know who you are), and my fair-weather friends (you definitely know who you are), and last but certainly not least my……ummm never mind. God has TRULY brought me a mighty long way is all I can say and he ain’t…yeah I said ain’t ….done with me yet. I am not perfect by any means and am most definitely still a work in progress.

But I digress…..

The wonderful thing about God’s Grace is that allows for us to be indifferent. However, it doesn’t and will not allow us to remain that way. Honestly, five years ago I could not have written this entry without naming names and saying some pretty foul things. However, when you know who you are and Whose you are…… When you know from whence your help truly comes…..it allows you to show objectivity, even amidst feelings of indifference…. And for that I can only give thanks to the Most High. Which reiterates the point I made earlier about loss not always being a bad thing. Sometimes in order to build something of substance you have to break ground, in order to lay the proper foundation. That has been the story of my life. Loss can eventually lead to gain. It’s all in your perspective.

The Price of indifference is only as expensive as you allow it to be. As for me, I am an Emotional Cheapskate. I am unwilling to spend enormous amounts of time, energy or anything else for that matter mulling over the regretful decisions of my past. Life is way too short and too full of promise. And for those of you that may be experiencing some form of disappointment and disenchantment right now, please don’t waste precious time dwelling on it. Press on. Mainly because ….and those of you that believe as I do may agree…. When God closes or allows a door to close, it’s only because he plans on opening another door allowing you access to what is truly meant for you. Oh, and don’t fret the door that an individual closes on you. God will open a window to get a blessing to you and that in itself is truly something to be happy and hopeful about. Simply because, the last time I checked…. there were more windows in a crib than there were doors.

Opportunities abound. It’s up to you to take advantage of them when they present themselves. However, please make sure to never cease an opportunity at the expense of someone else’s mental, emotional, or physical stability and well-being. The livelihood you save may be your own.

What’s love got to do with it?

Everything. Nothing. It basically depends on your heart’s condition. However, ask yourself this question and please be brutally honest with yourself:

Am I a Giver or am I a Taker?

Your answer to the question will pretty much determine quality of life. For some – if you’re truly honest with yourself - the answer may just surprise you.

Substance ©

2014-08-07T01:59:00.000-05:00

Beware that you do not lose the substance grasping at the shadow.

Aesop

While doing my due diligence for this entry I discovered that there are (as with most things) various schools of thought on the substance of something. The Encyclopedia Britannica Online has at least thirteen ranging from Artistotelianism to Islamic Philosophy with the former having Substance as one of its key components while the latter boasts of the relation between corporeal things, which are changeable, in constant flux, infinite, and as such unknowable, on the one hand, and the permanent world of forms (spiritual or secondary substances), which are not subject to flux yet to which human beings have no access except through things of the senses. The latter making a hell of a lot of sense due to the fact that whenever one looks at that region of the world that at some point or another, things are in a constant state of change. There never seems to ever be a sense of stability there….

But I digress…

For the purposes of today’s entry, the sort of substance to which I refer deals with one’s moral fiber. Dictionary.com defines Moral Fiber as the strength of one’s character or firmness of purpose. One’s character is basically one’s distinctive mental and moral quality. Your character defines your belief system. One’s belief system defines one’s actions. One’s actions define their environment. One’s environment is - for better or for worse - the sum total of their life choices and decisions. One’s life choices and decisions in essence determine their quality of life. The culmination of all of the aforementioned things inevitably becomes the substance of an individual’s very existence.

Any relationship worth its salt has a level of depth to it that makes all parties in the relationship so secure within it that they never have to question its purpose or have any doubt that the effort being put forth to sustain it is worth it. The level of depth to which I refer is sometimes referred to as the relationship’s substance. Now don’t misunderstand my previous statement, every relationship comes to a crossroad. A point in the relationship where you question the level of your involvement, the amount of time of invested, and if you are truly honest with yourself….. the value of the return you have received on your investment. It is at this crossroad where you are faced with making a choice (Because after all, life is all about choices). The choice to press on or cut your losses and quit while you are ahead. Your decision is usually based on the level of your emotional investment. If you truly care about what or who you have completely “sold out” for, then with that comes a tremendous amount of separation anxiety. No one likes loss. I mean seriously….who signs up to lose something. Life in one way or another has taught us that loss is a bad thing when in all actuality it sometimes is the best thing that could ever happen to us. As a matter of fact, experience has taught me that sometimes we cause ourselves the most pain trying to hold on to something God wants us to let go of. Loss to this writer is synonymous with change. For how in the world can you make room for anything new if you continue to hold onto old things or live in the past. Hoarders in my opinion are those individuals who fear change, with Emotional Hoarders being the worst kind. Even me (as progressive minded as I claim to be) have had moments where I have allowed anxiety to momentarily effect my situational discernment. Where the thought of losing someone or something kept me from making the absolute best decision for me given the situation. The true litmus test in this author’s opinion of whether or not the relationship your are in has any substance is if you take away everything that you love about the person, place or thing, the way you feel about said person, place or thing doesn’t change. For it is what a relationship or connection is made up of that sustains it.

As for me, given the choice between aesthetic appearance and actual functionality… I’ll take actual functionality every time. Quality over quantity. Still confused? Ok. Let’s see I can make things somewhat clearer for you….

Give me a Porsche Cayenne over a Porsche Boxer. Give me a beautiful woman that can speak intelligently over a beautiful woman that can’t read or comprehend simple life basics. Give me a strong, functional, “real” relationship with someone over one that appears to be awesome but is highly dysfunctional. Unfortunately, individuals in today’s society get caught up on “optics”. Sadly people would rather look like they are doing something as opposed to actually doing something. I.e... Some people would rather look happy than be happy. Some individuals want all of the trappings of success without investing any sweat equity to reach their goals and dreams. Many in today’s society will date a beautiful person with a horrible spirit as opposed to in their opinion “settling” for someone not as attractive with a heart of gold.

The unfortunate state of today’s relationships is a clear indicator that society needs a complete overhaul on its belief system and priorities. It seems that today’s relationships and connections base their substance on the tangible rather than the intangible. In my humble opinion there are several factors that currently and that may have possibly contributed to this:

An Increase in individuals lacking any sort of spiritual connection
The single parent home structure
Gender Role reversal (More female head of households)
The increased popularity of Social Media
Lack of Societal Accountability
The increase in the popularity of “Reality” Television
Sensationalist Media Outlets
The absence of true community leaders

Should I go on?

I mean I could….

All of the aforementioned factors seem to have contributed to the critical state our communities have found themselves in.

More serial killings, increased Police Brutality, astronomical homicide rates in many of our Major Cities (hang in there Chitown… The dawn is coming), blatant disrespect of persons by today’s youth, decreased church attendance nationwide, an decline in literacy rates, mismanagement of Natural Resources, abuse of power by those in power… I mean the list goes on and on. Regrettably, due to the fact that so many in today’s society in one way or another have bought into the fact that relationships are better when they are superficial , standard human interaction has become far more complicated than the Creator ever intended it to be. Regrettably, because so many of our critical relationships and connections lack depth, they are easily disposable. Gone are the days when people were truly invested in the well being of their fellow man/ woman. The Golden Rule has almost gone the way of the Dodo. “What’s in it for me” seems to be the theme of the day. Narcissism has replaced Selflessness. Due to this shift in society’s psyche, relationships are more about instant gratification than about “the long haul”. Hence the lack of actual character depth.

The result: Shallow principles when dealing with one another on the part of some and dysfunctional relationships. Show me a relationship or connection that lacks substance and I’ll show you chaos, turmoil and disorder.

But fret not. The solution is easier than you may think.

Ready?

Here it is….

Slow down ….and Listen.

The Most High gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.

It’s pretty much that simple.

People in today’s society are in such a hurry to get absolutely nowhere. I see it every day. On my morning commute, at my local Starbucks, in the park while people watching or in line waiting to be serviced in some capacity. (Which for the life of me I will never understand…. I mean you did see the line when you walked up, right?).

There is one undeniable truth in this life. You can’t change or control people. All you can do is control how you react to people or circumstances. So instead of flipping off the cat that cut you off in traffic, just wink at ‘em when you pull up next to them at the next stop light. Instead of rushing your significant other when they are getting ready for that date, tell them how beautiful/ handsome they look when they finally appear in the doorway. Instead of rushing to leave work, take the time to decompress so that you don’t take that tension home and negatively affect your home life. Before you rush respond to a supposed “offense”, process the statement. Is it worth responding? Is the response even necessary? Will this change your life? Will this even matter in 15 minutes? If the answer to any of these questions is no, take a deep breath and smile and remain silent knowing that sometimes silence speaks volumes and a soft word (or no words) turns away unnecessary strife and unwarranted wrath. So many individuals in today’s society listen to respond instead of actually taking the time to listen to understand. It’s not always imperative to be right. Sometimes maintaining a harmonious relationship or connection is more important than being right. Now please understand that one is not to swallow their pride to the point that they choke on it.

Two of the most important components of healthy, successful and harmonious relationships or interactions of any kind are compassion and compromise. Both allow all parties involved to adequately express what’s important to them and to agree to disagree if both parties can’t see eye to eye on the subject. However, due to the fact that there are only two types of people in this world – givers and takers – the latter typically always dominate any situation as long as they are allowed to. Takers are parasites that suck the life out of every situation they are connected to and just like every parasite once they have drained their host, they move on to the next. Unfortunately, leaving substantial collateral damage in their wake…. Broken hearts, shattered dreams, dysfunctional homes, unrealized potential and the like. That’s why it is imperative to understand exactly who or what you are dealing with… and respond accordingly.

So in closing in this writer’s humble opinion, substance as it relates to the human condition basically means that what you have aligned yourself with is actually rooted in something of significance. The key to determining if that is in fact the case with your current situation is to be totally honest with yourself about the purpose it serves in relation to the direction your life is currently headed. Truth is …. Successful people understand that as you move further and further into your purpose and closer towards your goals, your circle will get smaller. Those who remain usually are there to embolden you, encourage you, motivate you, ground you and provide the necessary substance you need to carry on when everything around you is telling you to give up. Substance is the thing that makes “it” all worth it (whatever “it” represents for you).

The substances that a relationship or connection is rooted in makes an individual believe that this too shall pass. The one thing that I humbly ask is that whatever that substance may be, make sure that it is not rooted in something temporal. Ensure that whatever that substance may be, that it will be there long after the excitement, enthusiasm and the “newness” has worn off. Make sure that whatever that substance is, that it is something that will empower you and not something that serves to hinder your progress. Think as logically as you can regardless of how emotionally attached you may have become in the relationship or to the connection that you have established. When evaluating the substance in which your current condition is firmly rooted, think objectively. For as with building anything, the stronger and more solid the foundation the longer the structure will stand. Now granted nothing lasts forever. Friends come and go. Love fades. People age. You are born to die. However, the one constant is that we can choose the quality of each condition:

Friends want to leave? Let them.

Love has faded? Keep your heart open to receive love. The love you seek is out there, you just have to keep your heart open and make yourself available to receive it.

You are not as young as you used to be? Remember that age ain’t (yeah I said ain’t) nothing but a number and that it’s not the number of years that you live, but the quality of the life led during them.

And yes….

We are all born to die (Unless you are a vampire). So make sure that you live life as the Creator intended…on purpose and with the most positive and optimistic outlook possible. Live your life…Never let your life live you. It’s never too late. Never let anyone fill your head with that nonsense. There is no effective or expiration date on a fruitful and fervent life.

So…

Get busy living or get busy dying. Oh yeah and by the way… don’t worry about that last part, sooner or later we all take that trip. However, in the meantime indulge yourself in all that life has to offer. Fully participate in the process…. For better or for worse. For if your life is properly grounded with the proper foundation and the substance of your foundation is sound, you will experience life just as the Creator intended…

Wholly and serenely.

Who am I? ©

2014-06-30T14:04:00.000-05:00

After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It's better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life - Sophia Loren

As I go through this life there is one irrefutable fact to living, you will disappoint others and you will be disappointed. It’s the nature of the beast called life. There are no perfect people in this world. We have all made our share of mistakes. That’s because you are a human being. Imperfect, unpolished, fallible and ever evolving. If we had all of the answers as human beings, the world in which we currently reside would certainly be a much better place. However, as we all know…the world and the individuals we meet on a daily basis are far from perfect and anyone who attempts to convince you otherwise should be avoided like the plague. I personally try to separate myself as far as I possibly can from the delusional and narcissistic tendencies of people…. Even if that means separating myself from the people themselves.

I have spent so many years of my life emotionally investing myself into individuals without truly taking into account the things that I need in order for me to be emotionally fulfilled. Putting other’s emotional needs and desires ahead of my own sometimes to the spoiling of my own soul. As a child of the Most High, I am to love others unconditionally whether that love is erotic, platonic, familial, or fraternal. As a child of the most high I am to live my life in a manner that uplifts and encourages the ones around me to live their lives in a manner pleasing to no one other their creator and themselves. For at the end of all things, the only love that truly matters is the love that you and your Creator share and the love that you have for yourself. Nothing and no one should ever come between either. Over the course of my life, my love for God has grown deeper and now supersedes everything. My love for myself (while it is strong) not so much. I have allowed myself to love others more than I love myself at times. I have allowed myself to become so emotionally invested into others that sometimes I emotionally neglect myself. I guess it’s just the selflessness of my nature. For you see, the Son of God selflessly sacrificed his life so that ALL of our sin debt could be paid in full. Now whether you believe as I do is irrelevant. Christ died for us all. HE died so that you would have the right to believe as you wish. HE died so that you would have the right to choose whether or not to believe that HE ever existed or whether or not HIS Father does exist. HE forgave those that wrongly accused him for crimes HE didn’t commit and called for HIS death. The same individuals that praised HIM and welcomed HIS arrival. He sacrificed HIS life so that those that denied him could eventually repent of their sins and accept HIM for what and who HE truly is. HIS act of selflessness transcends time and space. The ultimate example of unconditional love. An example we should all try to emulate.

But I digress….

Self Discovery is tantamount to a joyous and productive life. Without it you will trudge through this life being what everybody wants or needs you to be. Without it you could spend your life living to meet the unreasonable expectations of others. That is not living. That is not even existing. Most importantly, that is most certainly not the way the Most High ever intended for any of us to live our lives. Allow someone to define your world and they will more than likely keep you from meeting your full potential. It is not our right to judge individuals for being imperfect. It is not our responsibility to hold individuals to a standard that prevents the individual from being themselves. Our lives are ours to control. Our lives are ours to live exactly as we see fit. The beautiful thing about free will is that at anytime we are free to do what is best for us if a particular situation isn’t to our liking. The beautiful thing about living a life free of preconceived notions and unreasonable expectations of others is that when someone makes what they believe is a rational and conscious decision that’s best for them…. You have the ability to allow them to without taking it personally. However, it is always best to remember that that is a double edged sword. Life is all about choices and no one can ever fault you or judge you for making a choice that you feel is best for you and the quality of your life.

Now please understand that sometimes the choices that you make will not make you the most popular person. Sometimes the decisions you make that are for your best interest will force you to travel the road less traveled. Sometimes making choices that are in your best interest will force you to have to walk alone. Well I’m here to tell you that sometimes Solitude is a great thing. I’m kind of biased though for you see I grew up as an only child. So I had plenty of time to myself. That being said, being alone is not a bad thing to me. In all actuality I believe being alone is never a bad thing as long as you use the time to improve yourself. In my humble opinion, we should always be ever evolving. Working towards being a better you. That at times means that you will have to stand firm on what you believe and go against the grain. You must also understand that when doing what you believe is best for you and your quality of life, you will be misunderstood. You will be ostracized. You will meet with opposition and naysayers. However, it is extremely important that you remember people sometimes rush to judgment on things they do not understand. To some it’s just easier to make a determination based on the facts that are presented to them as opposed to doing the necessary due diligence to obtain an objective perspective. And that’s completely understandable. People sometimes allow allegiances and affiliations to sway their outlook on things. This is absolutely fine. Loyalty is the currency that relationships bank on to survive. Nevertheless, one should be loyal to the actual truth of things not to certain people and their version of truth. I was told long ago that there are three sides to every story:

My version, their version …. And the truth.

There are those that subscribe to the mindset that Perception is reality. I vehemently disagree with this school of thought. Reality is reality…not one’s perception of it. Everyone is entitled to believe what they want to believe as it pertains the truth according to them. As stated earlier free thought and free will are God’s gift to us all, not just those that believe in HIM. However, one’s truth and the actual truth of a situation can at times be mutually exclusive. This is where having spiritual discernment and an open mind keeps one from rushing to irrational and illogical decisions. Knowing who you are and Whose you are also helps keep one grounded. Don’t be deceived, you will never be able to make sound decisions for yourself or towards the improvement of your quality of life if you don’t know who you are or have your “truth” firmly rooted with the proper foundation. The substance in which you choose to build your “temple” or your principles on makes all the difference in how long it remains inhabitable. There are those of us whose temples are need of an “extreme makeover” from the curbside to the privacy fence in the backyard. There are those of us whose temples are uninhabitable, yet we keep inviting people over for afternoon tea. There are those of us that need an understanding of what’s in our temples. There may be gifts buried under all of that clutter you have piling up in there. Whether you believe it or not, someone’s blessing is tied to you. Whether you accept that responsibility or not is irrelevant. Our mandate as human beings is to make any environment that we enter better for us having been there. Unfortunately, that means that we sometimes have to enter some extremely chaotic environments in order to bring peace to them. Now trust me when I say that this is not for the faint of heart. There will be heartache, there will be disappointments, there will be loss, there will be turmoil and there will be uncontrollable events that can unnerve you and wound you deeply (Sometimes touching you in the very depths of your soul). Nevertheless, stay encouraged. You can’t spell the word testimony without the “test”. Sometimes a little apathy is a good thing. I read something extremely profound today. I am truly thankful to the most High for the Rhema word that HE regularly deposits into my heart and soul. It was entitled “16 Things you shouldn’t have to justify to Anyone Else”. It was an exceptional piece of literature but there was a part that really resonated with me...... I have included that excerpt of the post below:

Will the people in your life always support your decisions? No, they won’t. But you need to remember that life is not about justifying yourself; it’s about creating yourself. Your life is yours alone. Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you. They can walk with you, but not in your shoes. So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to walk alone and pave your own path when you know it’s the right thing to do.

Make this your lifelong motto: “I respectfully do not care.” Say it to anyone who passes judgment on something you strongly believe in or something that makes you who you are. People will inevitable judge you at some point anyway, and that’s OK. You affected their life; don’t let them affect yours.

It’s ok when people don’t understand you or your motives. It’s ok to allow people to walk out of your lives. I personally am not in the business of keeping people around or in my life that don’t want to be kept. If they walk out of your life, let them. They are doing what’s best for them. It is times like this that I have to remind myself that if you truly care about a person, you have to let them do what’s best for them…even if it causes momentary discomfort.

Who am I?

I am.....

Faithful and Obedient to God knowing who I am and Whose I am, Loving Son, Loyal and trustworthy friend, the World’s confidant and voice of reason. Fun Loving, Assertive, Benevolent, Patient and Kind. A true Visionary, Motivator, Educator, Comforter and Nurturer.

Attributes that have brought me both joy and pain. Attributes that will never change regardless of how intensely the enemy increases their attacks against me and my quality life. Attributes that allow me to remain true to myself and all that is within me. I am who and what the Most High needs and wants me to be and will be that until the second I close my eyes for the last time. I understand that that is going to make me some enemies. I understand that everyone will not understand the “method to my madness”. Fortunately for me, I have matured quite a bit and have grown emotionally, spiritually and philosophically. People tend to hate what they don’t understand. I personally have no time for hate. I have no desire to judge or discredit another human being. We all have a back story. Some of us have been blessed to have one that is pleasant and one that has brought us a lot of joy. Then there are those of us whose back story is one of struggle, pain and disappointment. The key is that despite how the story began, it’s up to you to determine how it ends. Pray unceasingly, Forgive often….. Love always. This is what gets me through a many trial and tribulation.

I implore you to do the same....

Who am I?

I am my Father’s child (Both Heavenly and deceased Earthly). I am that one that sees the good in everybody… even if they don’t see it in themselves. I am the one that will never give up on those that I love. I am the one who wants everyone to succeed and realize their life’s full potential.

Who am I?

A work in progress and will probably be that way until the day I die. The day we stop evolving as human beings is the day we stop living (Both figuratively and literally). That means that no one has all the answers. Which means that we should never stop asking questions, even if the questions make others uncomfortable.

Who am I?

I am the one that will walk that extra mile with you, even if you don’t ask me to.

Who am I?

I am the one that when all else fails will never lose my faith in the Most High, regardless of what the world throws at me. Life has taught me that you have to trust God…..even when you can’t trace HIM.

Now….

It’s time to ask yourself who you are. It’s time to do a little introspection. I only know who I am and whose I am because I took the time to ask myself the tough questions. For you see, you will never truly find out who you are unless you are willing to “go deep”. Beneath the surface. Beneath the façade you created to impress people. Beneath the layers of makeup and fine clothing. Behind all of the walls you have erected to prevent people from seeing the real you. Where you are totally vulnerable. Where the real you resides. The “you” that you wish you could show the world but fear and poor self confidence keeps you from revealing it. Please understand that fear is the number one enemy of self discovery. Fear of rejection. Fear of criticism. Fear of being ostracized or black balled. Fear of disappointing those you hold near and dear. Trust me…. I have been there. Even though I don’t fear being alone, no one signs up to be there simply based on their trying to live their lives the way they see fit.

Then one day I woke up (Yeah.... I spent years “sleep walking” thinking that if I stayed in that state that this would minimize the pain of rejection and being ostracized for being “different”). This to me was finally the awakening I needed to allow me to see the difference between living and existing. For so long I did what I could simply to exist instead of fully living the life the Creator intended for me to live. This period of my life I simply refer to as my Spiritual Rehabilitation. I use the word rehab because my Spirit was in need of some serious TLC. I had allowed life and the opinion of others to wreak havoc on it. Unfortunately, doing so made me miss out on the beauty of the simple things in life. We as human beings tend to overcomplicate life unnecessarily. Fight when we should strive for peace. Speak when we should be silent. React when we should not. Move when we should be still.

So in closing, I beseech you to do some introspection.

Now for those of you that think you know everything there is to know about yourself, you will be surprised how much more there is to learn about yourself if you ask yourself the hard questions. The hardest part unfortunately is not in asking yourself the questions, but in answering them honestly. I can tell you from experience that if you are brutally honest with yourself, you may not like all of the answers. It may mean knocking the scabs off of some old wounds. Some tears may be shed. Nevertheless, when it’s all said and done.. I promise you… you will experience a freedom unlike any you have ever known. One other beautiful thing about this sort of revelation is that once you obtain this sort of peace, you will never allow anything or anyone disrupt it. This may mean removing some folks from your circle. This may mean ending toxic relationships. This may mean momentary discomfort for everyone involved and associated with the parties involved. All the same when the smoke clears and it is all said and done, everyone will be better for having experienced it.

Trust me I know.

Sometimes you have to value your sanity over what others perceive as “the right thing” ....... and that’s ok. For in the grand scheme of things, those with an “opinion” never truly have all the facts. Only you and the Most High are privy to that information. They will never have YOUR perspective. Nor will they ever truly care about the situation as much as you do. So don’t allow the opinions of other to sway you from doing what’s right for you.

Who am I?

Only God truly knows…. And in HIM do I place my trust.

I implore you to do the same.

Detox ©

2014-05-06T17:38:00.001-05:00

The Soul needs attention like the body needs breath – author unknown

A Google search for the definition of the word detoxification provides many definitions. However, the one that most aptly pertains to today’s entry is:

“The process of removing toxic substances or qualities”

During the course of one’s life, they are exposed to so many things. People, places, things, ideals, emotions, etc. Many of us (I count myself in this number) tend to take in these things without putting any thought into whether or not they are truly any good for us or if they even are actually of any use for us. Most times we never get around to getting rid of the things we have absorbed over the course of our lives. The longer the life, the more junk we tend to internalize. It’s partly due to the fact that as we evolve into the people were destined to become, we experience a variety of things and events that actually contributes to molding us into the person our Creator intended us to become. Evolution is a beautiful thing. One should never die with the same mindset that they had when they were young and impulsive. At some point – as one matures – an individual begins to understand the sum total of all of their actions and their action's related consequences. If they are truly honest with themselves and truly hold themselves accountable for the actual state of their current existence, life becomes so serene. The unfortunate thing about today’s society is that it does not promote self awareness or self accountability. There are those out there believe that the world owes them something. So many individuals in today’s society have a delusional sense of entitlement. Like they don’t have to pay any dues. That the world should just give them everything that they want with not the least bit of sweat equity invested on their part. Like I said…… delusional. I was raised that anything that is worth obtaining has to be obtained through some sort of sacrifice. A lack of accountability for ones actions keeps that individual trapped in a perpetual cycle of misery and regret. Dreams deferred, relationships sabotaged, opportunities missed….. lives wasted.

Les Brown said it best:

“If you take responsibility for yourself, you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”

Taking responsibility for one’s actions or self accountability is the cornerstone of an ethical life style. A truly ethical and morally responsible person is aware that it is who you are and what you do when no one is watching that determines whether or not you can truly be deemed as trustworthy. Individuals who never take responsibility for their actions or always try to pawnoff their faults and indiscretions on others are and never will be trustworthy. It is these people that you should avoid like the plague…. Bubonic… Meningeal… Pneumonic or any other clinical form in existence. The same amount of effort you put forth to prevent yourself from contracting one of the aforementioned diseases is the exact same amount of effort you should put forth to avoid toxic people and toxic situations for you see they in essence have the same effect on you. Plagues completely destroy their host and if not treated in a timely enough fashion can cause extreme discomfort and even death. Toxic people and relationships if not immediately recognized will eventually kill an individual’s spirit and if one is not extremely careful will even make them question things about themselves that they had long thought themselves secure about.

I.e.:

The friend or family member that is never there for you, but is always there when they need something.

The child that “never grows up” and places an unfair burden on their parents for a truly loving parent will always support their children…. Even when they are wrong. Now notice I said support and not enable. There is very distinct difference between the two. Oh… don’t think so? Ask any Hollywood child star that has run afoul of the law what type of childhood they had and I am quite sure that their parents gave them everything that they needed or could have ever possibly ever wanted…. Except love.

The individual that loves someone that is self absorbed and loves no one but themselves. Loving an individual who does not take your emotional state or feelings into consideration can be extremely exhausting. Not to mention that the individual that is going without emotional affirmation or support begins to question if they are even worthy of love or if they were ever meant to love someone or be loved. But I digress...

It is when you find yourself in any one of the aforementioned situations or knee deep in any similar scenario is when it is truly time for introspection. Is the pain I am experiencing worth it? Will my current discomfort or anxiety pass or is this situation something that is unfortunately irreparable and unbearable? Are you truly getting a return on your investment or sweat equity (Not that we should do things to receive things but benevolence in a relationship of any kind should never be one sided)? Will this current situation that I am in enhance and improve my quality of life? Is this a situation that I can fully immerse myself in without reservation or skepticism? If you answered no to any of the previous questions then you my friend are in a toxic relationship. Thankfully there is a process that one can begin to turn all of those negatives into positives. With self discovery comes freedom and with this discovery also comes the next part: detoxification.

As stated earlier in this entry, the process of detoxification involves the removal of toxic substances or qualities. Now here’s the tricky party. Detoxification is an all or nothing proposition. You have to completely submit yourself to the process with nothing held back. A total cleanse is the only way to insure that all of the impurities that have latched onto your psyche, relationships, goals, ambitions or simply onto all of the things you hold near and dear have been removed. In this humble author’s opinion the major component of emotional detoxification is forgiveness. For see you won’t even be able to truly begin the detoxification process until you have forgiven every single individual that has ever “wronged” you. Notice the quotation marks? They are there because there are some of us out there carrying around grudges and hate for individuals that when asked truly don’t even know what the hell you are mad at them about. I’m just saying…. This is where ego and pride have to be removed from the equation. Communication is tantamount to sustaining a healthy relationship. Poor communication and coping skills are two things that if not addressed quickly and correctly will surely cause a relationship to go from healthy and fruitful to toxic and unbearable in a nanosecond. Trust me; this is something I know all too well about. Now I will be the first to admit that it took me a while to understand and fully embrace the concept of true forgiveness. As a matter of fact, the worse the “offense”, the greater the resentment. I lived like this for years until what I like to refer to as my “Spiritual Rehabilitation” (Please see earlier entries for more details concerning this). Then thankfully I woke up …and grew up. Children throw temper tantrums. Children don’t take responsibility for their actions, Children take no thought of how today’s actions can adversely affect them tomorrow, Children take the ones they love for granted. However, all of the aforementioned character traits are absolutely expected of children. Not of fully functioning adults that are in their right mind and are capable of thinking for themselves. Adults that exhibit the aforementioned characteristics are self absorbed and aren’t fit to love anyone much less procreate.

My bad… I was talking about detoxification wasn’t I?

Now understand an undertaking of this magnitude is not for the faint of heart. See in order to truly detoxify one’s life they have to not be afraid to ask themselves the tough questions. They cannot be afraid of the answers that they may get or things that they may discover about themselves. This process requires absolute and total honesty with one's self. Besides….lying to yourself is not a good look. I mean seriously if you can’t be honest with yourself about the stuff that is most important to you, then how in Allah’s name can we expect you to be honest with us. Total honesty is a mark of maturity and when it comes to relationships and affairs of the heart, honesty is most definitely and will always be the best policy. Even if the consequences of such honesty causes us momentary discomfort. For you see, anyone that willingly lies to you (even about the smallest things) on a consistent basis can’t truly respect you..... much less love you. Truly loving someone means totally accepting people and their situations absent of any kind of judgment or preconceived notions. The unfortunate thing about relationships today is that most individuals enter said relationships “in reverse”. Now what exactly do I mean by that?

I am so glad you asked....

Entering relationships “in reverse” to me is when you sleep with someone the first night you meet them before even getting to know them then try to “establish” a meaningful relationship. Now don’t get me wrong. I know that if you turn over enough stones you can find that exceptional “love at first sight story”. Nevertheless from my experience, this most definitely is the exception and not the norm. Entering relationships in this manner almost assures breakdowns in communication resulting in arguments, the constant misunderstanding of one another’s intentions leading to constant discussions to obtain clarification, the unintentional assignment of unfair expectations by all parties involved, and so on. My point is that doing things out of order causes us to undergo unnecessary trials and tribulations. Hence the need to occasionally detoxify your life. See, detoxifying your life allows you to start anew once all the junk has been extracted from your psyche and life. Once all the crud that has accumulated has been removed, there is now more room for the things that make one’s life fruitful and enjoyable. Out with despair and in with unspeakable joy. Out with the guilt about past indiscretions, in with the hope for a brighter and better future. Out with the fear of rejection and abuse, in with the ability to love openly and unconditionally. Detoxification allows you to purge yourself of all the things that kept you from living the life you are supposed to live. Detoxification allows one to shed the bonds of Emotional Servitude. The detoxification process once complete, will completely alter your perspective on your life and have you feeling like an Ice Cube lyric regardless of what happens throughout the course of your day (I gotta say it was a good day!)

Yeah… I love Hip Hop....

I once heard the most profound quote by an individual by the name of Jack Canfield:

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear”

How does this apply to cleansing one’s Mind, Body and Soul? Give me a sec and I’ll try explaining.

Fear is the number one enemy of change. Don’t be deceived…. The detoxification process is all about change. One cannot purge themselves of toxins and impurities and remain the same. Don’t believe me? Ok. I understand. You don’t get it. Let me break it down a little for you:

An alcoholic that has overcome their addiction can’t continuously place themselves in situations that test their mettle. Eventually, their desire to return to what’s familiar will outweigh their desire to be free of their addiction.

The abused spouse that leaves the abuser can’t keep putting themselves in a position to be abused by going back every time the abuser comes calling or says that they won’t hurt you ever again because they love them. Trust me, someone that loves you will never want to see you upset, harmed or experiencing any sort of discomfort. Anyone that truly loves you will never put their wants and desires before your happiness, safety or emotional stability.

The convict cannot continue associating with the crowd that got them hemmed up.

The side chick that finally wants to meet a good man and settle down can’t keep putting it down on someone else’s husband.

A brother trying to get off the streets and live a more legitimate lifestyle can’t keep going to the trap house.

The scenarios are endless.

The point is that once you are free of impurities and reap the benefits of the cleansing, it is absolutely your responsibility to fight with everything within you to maintain the peace you fought so hard to obtain. The unfortunate thing is that so many of us allow fear of the unknown to keep us from making the changes necessary to truly cleanse ourselves of all of the things making us slaves to toxic situations and from experiencing true freedom. A very dear friend of mine shared a very simplistic yet truly profound quote with me prior to my relocation to Sunny AZ. 1700 plus miles from everything and everyone I have ever known (Now that’s a Detox for that a**). I had a slight case of nerves and reached out to her for a little bit of encouragement (The word of the Most High proclaims that Iron sharpens Iron). I leave you with the words that truly led to me making one of the best decisions of my entire life. A decision that so wonderfully improved my quality of life that I promised myself and my Creator that I will never live another second lamenting on the past, pressing onward to a future that I now with all my heart and soul believe is full of promise. I am just entirely too blessed to be stressed. Find the positive in every day. Smile and laugh. It is a scientific fact that a positive attitude reduces the number of stress chemicals in the body. Besides, as the adage says, “laughter is the best medicine.” Be the positivity you wish to see in the world. A kind word, a smile, a hug, a joke (no matter how corny) can be the difference between someone having an amazing day or a horrible one. I truly believe this quite simply because I am the ultimate optimist and contextualist.

So as promised, I leave you with in this humble author’s opinion is one of the most simplistic yet profound statements ever uttered or placed in print:

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Detoxify your life today.

Your relationships, your quality of life and your emotional stability most certainly depends on it.

2014-03-20T15:05:00.001-05:00

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln

One of the many things that history has taught us (for those of us that have paid attention) is that it never easy being the virtuous person. The one that understands what it means to do what's right in the face of fierce opposition. To be the one that sees what needs to be done to right a wrong even if it is against the status quo. To be the one that stands firm against oppression in any form armed with nothing but the truth......even if it's an inconvenient one. That's why I respect the leaders of our time (Past and present) that championed the voice of the common people to insure equality and a level playing field for this game of life that we all participate in daily (either willingly or unwillingly).

I count myself amongst the number of individuals that at one time looked to persons in positions of authority to do what's right by those in their charge. I mean after all every time someone wants to put a particular segment of society in its "place" they cite their rules and regulations and assert their authority right? Well the funny thing about Authority and being made steward over something is there is a tremendous amount of accountability that comes along with it. Being in leadership does not exempt you from the rules, it merely means that you (supposedly) have a better understanding of them and will not abuse the power that you have been granted.

Another lesson that I personally have learned from history (which by the way is an excellent teacher) has been that those that benefit most from chaos and confusion put forth the absolute least amount of effort to change the environment unless it benefits the status quo.. Take Slavery for example... I don’t believe the Emancipation Proclamation made a lot of slave owners happy. Ok... still not convinced? I don’t think the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the thought of equality (at least on some levels) made a lot of die hard bigots all that excited about the future. Oh so you still don't believe me huh....Man you're tough crowd! Ok ...let's see ... AH! How about healthcare for every American, Economic equality and making this country a more energy independent nation which would allow it to be more of an international competitor because right now we just hold the title of strongest Superpower. Anybody can claim to be the Champion until a strong enough contender comes along and knocks you on your ass. Just ask Mike Tyson or Roy Jones, Jr.

Championing the causes that are important to the people has always been a double edge sword though. You will always meet with opposition from the ones against your proposed change, but be assured that you will also always have your critics amongst the people for whom you are fighting to obtain the change. That’s why I personally have so much respect and admiration for those Men and Women who lay their lives and livelihoods on the line every single day trying to make this world a better, safer, and more civil place. Our brave soldiers spread the world over, those on "the hill" trying to do what their constituents elected them to do, our teachers -whose job is truly at times a thankless one - working to prepare and empower our youth, our law enforcement officials who carry the shield and truly lay it on the line "to protect and serve" , the parents that are doing all they can to raise their children to become honorable and responsible men and women, the clergy that are truly invested in the "flock" they have been ordained to "shepherd". The list of contributors to maintaining the balance required in keeping our society civil and stable is utterly endless. Everyone plays a part. Even you and I. How? By doing our part, we insure that we are part of life's solutions and not its problems. By making sure that we are positioning ourselves to help our fellow man/ woman…. not hurt them. I know.... it’s a noble notion. Besides, it's so much easier to inflict harm on people because there are a lot of people in this world whose sole purpose on the planet is to do just that. No sense painting a target on your back trying to be "different". I get it. However it’s also important to remember that Karma is not a respecter of persons. That eventually the hunter becomes the hunted. Just ask Osama Bin Laden. Oh....you can't. Oh well …. look at his example. He led a life of violence...and died violently. Now I’m not a pacifist. You get what you give in this life. But I am a realist and a bonafied contextualist. Not to mention a small student of history and things past (two totally different things I might add) and one thing is clear - at least to me anyway - Nothing is new. All has been done before in some shape, form or fashion. It only comes back around with a different appearance or presentation. With that being said, it is our responsibility as individuals to recognize the trend (albeit a positive or negative one) and act accordingly.

The ultimate goal of a champion is victory. However, as it is often said: Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Once victorious the true champion knows that that is the beginning of their journey. There will numerous title defenses. Everybody gunning to take their place and not always using the fairest of tactics. However true victors also know that numbers and strategy wins battles. Those things combined with will, desire, perseverance and sincere devotion to the source of your conviction wins wars.

That’s why the enemy wins a lot of battles because they most definitely have the numbers. It’s no doubt about that. But they lack the conviction to see the war to its final conclusion. They lack the discipline to persevere. They are content with a battle or two whereas God assures his people total victory if they stay committed to the cause. Commitment requires devotion on a level that is lost on most people today. Commitment requires sacrifice at times. That’s uncomfortable for people. Mainly because people at times commit to the wrong ideals. In my humble opinion the “wrong” ideal is the one that does more harm than good. The one if asked to lay down your life for it you would gladly allow the next person to make the ultimate sacrifice and watch without one iota of regret. True champions know that in order to obtain the victory and retain the title that some sort of sacrifice is required. True leaders realize that in order to champion a cause they may be required to - as Honest Abe put it – give their full last measure of devotion. If you as a leader aren’t willing to do this, then maybe you should relinquish the crown. For true leaders understand that in order to obtain total and absolute victory that you got to “leave it all on the field” regardless of the venue. The battlefield, the playing field, the boardroom, the streets, the classroom…. Wherever you find your challenge or the test of your character and resolve…. Understand that you can be victorious if you are willing to put forth your best effort leaving no doubt that even if you fall short of the goal or the prize, you gave it your all! Nobody likes losing, but contrary to popular belief the “moral victory” still exists. Give me a gracious loser over an arrogant victor any day.

The mark of a true champion is being able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. To have the ability to make something out of nothing. To take what the world means as a slight or your demise and turn it into something that not only blesses you but those around you. Now understand that in order to have this ability it requires an extremely large amount of determination and tenacity. The timid need not even step into the ring because the enemy will undoubtedly make short work of you. So save yourself the unnecessary beat down. But warriors…true warriors understand what it takes to be successful when the entire world has written you off. Champions are the ones that use people’s doubt and disbelief as fuel to obtain the victory that everyone dares them to come and get.

In my humble opinion, there is no force on the planet stronger than the heart and mind of a champion. One my heroes said it best:

“Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something that they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a vision.”

He kind of knew what he was talking about too. He has set a many a contender on their Gluteus Maximus.

Are you a champion? I’m sure that you are. To someone, you are their reason to fight on. To someone, you are their reason for being alive today. For someone, you are their reason for living. For someone, you are their provider and caretaker. For someone, you are their reason to love again. For someone, you are their inspiration and motivation to face the challenges of this world for which there are many. For someone, you are the best thing that could ever have happened to them. And guess what….

That makes you a champion. Now claim your crown. Claim it understanding that when you do, the enemy is going to do everything they can to take it from you. But also know that once you claim the crown, as long as you give honor and glory to the One that blessed you to obtain it that He blesses you with everything you need to retain the title. Granted some of your title defenses are going to be brutal…… BRUTAL. But understand that within the center of your being you have the answers needed to be victorious! As long as you know Whose you are, who you are and what you want… the victory is yours.

The Light ©

2013-10-22T20:12:00.002-05:00

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness – The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

In light of recent events the world over; I felt compelled to write about some things that I have observed in today’s society as of late.

Sadly, there just seems to be an absolute lack of respect for human life. From the Navy Yard Shootings, to the recent killing spree in Chicago, to the Nairobi Kenya Mall Massacre, today’s school shooting in Reno ...death and destruction almost seem to be the rule of the day. In this writer’s humble opinion, the armies of darkness have stepped up their game. They have commenced an all out blitz in an effort to stamp out those individuals who strive to live in the light. Now granted this is nothing new, I think it is the boldness and audacity in which these individuals operate now is what stands out the most for me. This brings me to the topic for today’s entry.

As a servant of the most high, I am well aware of the mandate to which I have been required to follow. My mandate - as with every servant of the Most High - is to be a beacon of light where darkness is present. The light I emit is not for me, it is for those who are trapped in darkness. How do I stay so positive when all around me are determined to be negative? Simply because I was once a cellar dweller. The light scared me. Once upon a time I was in absolute ease living in the dark. Now just for clarification, the darkness to which I refer doesn't just refer to the condition one finds themselves in once the lights go down. Darkness can also represent a state of consciousness (or lack there of) whereas light can not only represent your enviornment once an area is illuminated but can also represent an individual's mindset once they have in some form or other recieved enlightment mentally or consciously. The thing about darkness that makes it so appealing to some is that your flaws are easily hidden. However once one is exposed to the light, they have to confront that which was once hidden. It is this aspect of the light that tends to make individuals uncomfortable. No one likes having their flaws exposed. It may even cause an individual to live a life of guilt and extremely harsh self criticisim until they realize that not a soul on this planet is perfect and the only opinion that truly matters is an individual's opinion of themselves.

Merriam- Webster online defines it (one of many definitions) as a spiritual illumination while another online resource defines it as a natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible. While those definitions are closely aligned with the theme of today's entry, I personally (for the purposes of today's entry) have a slightly different take on it's definition.

The Light…

It illuminates one’s environment and if it catches one off guard it will force one to adjust their vision. Thankfully, light and darkness cannot coexist. One eventually snuffs out the other... For better or for worse. I know because I have been enveloped by both. I have found comfort and solace in both. I have even tried to defy physics and make both coexist. But as the Word of God says….. No one can serve two masters. It is virtually impossible. Take it from me folks, I tried that life. It was the most exhausting and self destructive season of my life. I expended way too much energy and once it was all said and done, had absolutely nothing to show for all of my effort. The funny thing is that the company you keep sometimes prevents you from seeing exactly how dark things may have become for you. After all misery loves company. Now granted, it is much easier to run with the crowd than it is to stand on your own principles and be a free thinking individual with your own moral code. Yes, yes…. Darkness has its perks and makes strange bedfellows (Sometimes literally). You may find yourself making alliances with individuals that you know good and hell well should not even be in your circle. You may even find yourself doing and saying things that you never thought you would never say or do. For a spell, you may even “fly under the radar”. Nevertheless, eventually what’s done in the dark eventually comes to light. The thing about dwelling in darkness and operating from a place of negativity or pessimism is that it does more harm than good. Not to mention that you also run up a seriously high Karma tab…. And eventually one day you are going to have to cash out. Be not deceived, Karma is not a respecter of persons. Anyone can find themselves at its mercy and from my experience if you don’t make an effort to right the wrong committed it will dog you until you do. Karma is extremely persistent and doesn’t really care about your attempts at denying the truth of things. When that bill comes due….you are gonna have to pay it. Either voluntarily or involuntarily. It’s your choice. Voluntarily has always worked for me. Involuntarily just came with too much damage control and with a tremendous amount of collateral damage.

Regretably, society today seems to reward the Cellar Dweller. People with innovative ideas are generally persecuted by people who feel like their stock will drop if they adopt the new modus operandi. “Shine Blockers” as one of the fellas I use to mentor calls them. People who would rather exist in a dysfunctional situation than implement a new and more efficient way of doing things simply because it wasn’t their idea. Yeah…. I have most definitely dealt with my share of “Shine Blockers” in my day. We actually all just witnessed this played out on a global scale. The Whole drama surrounding the Government Shutdown and the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). The fact that you have group of people elected to represent the American People’s best interest completely shut down the US Government because they do not agree with the President’s vision of Healthcare of every American all but to me represents “Shine Blocking” at its finest. I mean honestly, there has not probably been a better example played out politically on an international scale within the last decade or two. I think the thing that really just makes the whole melodrama completely ridiculous is the fact that the damn bill became a Law and was implemented on schedule. Well minus the Website glitches, but that’s common for a Federal Website. Take it from someone who has accessed several and currently accesses them daily (That is unless you work for the NSA, CIA, FBI or DARPA). Shutting down the government did nothing to impede the ACA’s implementation and most of those individuals that qualify for the coverage that I have spoken to have nothing but great things to say about it. How does this relate to today’s topic? The fact that America’s elected representatives would rather see individuals out of work (even temporarily), block a measure that would provide health care to individuals that are currently without it (and with the amount of intensity and conviction that they exemplified whilst doing so I may add) all but confirms what I have come to fear…… that there is a serious void of consciousness and humanity roaming the halls of America’s Legislative Branch. This in my humble opinion is an example of the forces of darkness hard at work being funded by the American Taxpayer and elected by its populace. That’s right…. Some of you that are reading this put some of those knuckleheads in office. Then there are those of you that didn’t even go to the polls. If you are in this number, please …please ..please don’t complain about how inconvenienced you were by the Shutdown or anything that has occurred since the last election. In my humble opinion, you don’t even have the right. That right is reserved for those that chose to participate in the political process, regardless of how flawed it currently may be. Now granted, Democracy in its current state is a faulty product. I constantly find myself asking how our government can legitimately try to convince other nations to subscribe to our brand of Democracy when it is not even working for the Citizenship of the United States of America. We need to correct the flaws within our own system before we can try to pawn it off on others. How can you try to give advice to others when your current state of the union is dysfunctional at best. I have never been able to understand that logic. Yet daily we see it happening. Not only on the world stage but right around the corner from you. Hell…. maybe even in the next room.

The society we live in today is full of individuals who lack vision and purpose. In my humble opinion that causes two (but not limited to) things to occur:

Hopelessness rears its ugly head and you see increase in activity that lacks compassion and empathy of individuals towards their fellow man/ woman. The Mass Murders, Genocide, Child Cruelty, the abuse of authority and perceived power, etc. People become more cynical and critical of those that have been blessed enough to discover their purpose and are currently in pursuit of making their visions a reality. You see…. My life experience has taught me this:

Those who can’t do teach. Those who can’t teach do. Those who can’t do or teach become critics.

Yup. I said it.

Simple as that.

If you read the aforementioned statement and find it lacking, it is more than likely because you fit in the last category. I could be wrong. After all, I’m not perfect either. Truthfully, on some days, I am a hot a** mess. But I know who I am and Whose I am and that allows me to embrace who I am with absolute totality. Flaws and All. To me that sums up people who try to criticize and discredit people who are out here giving their all to making this world we live in a better place. The critic unfortunately has not discovered who they were placed on this little blue marble to be. They more than likely are living according to a blueprint that someone created for them instead of trusting the Most High’s divine design for their life. Those individuals that have discovered their life’s purpose are too busy trying to share their light with the world to be critical of other people’s efforts.

Then there is the other side of the coin, those that are so busy trying to hold on to what they have that they disregard their duty of being a blessing to others. These people are so set on keeping what they have that they rarely share their resources and will go out of their way to make sure that you don’t ask them for assistance. You see they miss the whole point of them even having the sort of access that they have to what they have been blessed with. Yes…… I said blessed with. Even if you do not believe as I believe, you have to acknowledge the fact that there is something in this universe bigger than you that has provided you with the ability to obtain what you have. However, in the event that you believe as I do, the Word of God implores us to be cheerful givers:

Each one of us must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. – 2 Corinthians 9:7

In this life it is basically a proven fact that you ultimately reap what you sow. You get what you give is usually the way I phrase it. One of the unfortunate things about our society today is there aren’t enough cheerful givers within it. You are more likely to find an unrepentant taker in your midst that someone that finds joy from sharing their resources with others (which at times for this writer, the former proves to be a tad bit disheartening). Those individuals who strive daily to stay in the light and not succumb to the darkness that envelopes them share their resources with those in need. Even the slightest showing of benevolence can brighten someone‘s day in ways that you could never imagine. I personally try to do a random act of kindness everyday for a total stranger. Not because I need or even want gratitude, but simply because I know what it’s like to see God at work in people’s lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when a total stranger assists me that it’s the hand of God in it. So who am I to reject an opportunity to allow the Most High to use me to improve someone’s quality of life in some manner? If it’s nothing but a kind word to someone who appears to be having a horrible day or giving money to...even buying a meal for a homeless person, we all have the ability to provide a ray of sunshine to someone shrouded by the occasional overcast conditions caused by despair and hopelessness. I hear so many people constantly making reference to how crazy this world has become. How the world was so very different not all that long ago. I have to disagree. The world is the same. It’s people’s attitude toward it and the growing gap between civility and the human condition that has changed. There is no respect of persons and/or their property any more. No one respects “the grind” any more. What I mean by that is that “paying dues” is now seen as trivial. Unfortunately “generation next” has an unwarranted sense of entitlement as if everything should be handed to them and that they don’t have to put in work. There is a lack of respect for history and the accomplishments of those that have come before us. The trailblazers that make it possible for those who now enjoy the spoils of our ancestor’s labor to make all of their wildest dreams come true. Ingenuity and innovation is seen by some to be radicalism or extremism. Now granted… there are some people out there that in the name of innovation are doing the damn most. Nevertheless in today’s society, perception is everything. There is a saying that I just for the life of me can’t subscribe to that states P"erception is Reality. I find it hard to subscribe to this school of thought because one’s perception is rarely void of emotion and bias. Reality is reality. Not one's perception of it. One person’s Alpha Male is another person’s asshole. It’s a fine line between being champion for change and a terrorist. Just ask the founding fathers of this great nation of ours.

Thomas Jefferson said it best:

The Tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of Patriots and Tyrants.

If I were to venture a guess, I seriously don’t think that the Boston Tea Party was meant to be a mixer or a Black Tie Affair (unless you were a part of the resistance). Nelson Mandela is embraced as a contributor to the current state of affairs in South Africa and towards the abolition of Apartheid, but at one point was considered public enemy number one and imprisoned for and as a result of his efforts. Then there was this Fella I believe that some if not most of you are sort of familiar with that walked this Earth ohhhhh about a couple millennia ago. Some considered him to be the ultimate “rabble rouser”. His example to me is the most remarkable though. Praised for being the Savior only to be betrayed and denied by his closest allies then Crucified for being the very Savior that the masses had praised only days before.

Talk about fairweather friends and fickle folks…. Goodness!

But I digress….

Now thanks to the availbility of ridiculous amounts of information courtesy of the internet, there are all types of media available out there celebrating individuals, organizations and grass roots groups like the Freedom Riders, the NAACP, the National Women’s Suffrage Organization, Rainbow/ Operation PUSH, Greenpeace and the like that during some point of their existence were vilified for “rocking the boat”. Change meets the fiercest opposition when it is misunderstood or has the potential to dethrone those in power. This is most exemplified in the manner in which society (Mainstream media primarily) tends to demonize a lot of the grassroot movements serving as change agents in today’s society much like they did to those aforementioned groups a couple sentences back (Shout out to The Occupy Movement, The Arab Spring Movement, Public Citizen, Human Rights First, Sierra Club and any and all organizations striving to improve the quality of life of individuals the world over).Thankfully, there are people out there that are genuinely trying to make the world a better place. The unfortunate thing that there are individuals that are just fine existing in total dysfunction and chaos. It is also these people who usually tend to be the ones that put forth the fiercest opposition to any individual or any group making a sincere effort to be change agents for the greater good of society as a whole.

Ok... now this next section may make some folks a tad bit uncomfotable but i promise if you stay with me you may possibly find some truth in what follows and possibly be all the better for having read it.

Now ..... I just want to take this opportunity to implore you to when at all possible to be the source of positivity in your environment. The daily grind can at times be overwhelming in and of itself. Which is why it is so important to be civil and empathetic those in your circle. You never know when someone may need your encouragement or support to help them through a trying season of their life. Even if you do not believe as I believe, I honestly believe that it is our mandate as human beings to be a source of light wherever darkness is present. Now be not deceived, there are some evil people in this world. Their sole purpose in life is the annoyance, discomfort, aggravation, irritation and unnecessary provocation of individuals going about the business of minding their business. I call them the People Under the Stairs…..Straight Cellar Dwellers. More comfortable in the dark than they could ever be in the light. The interesting thing about cellars is that the air down there can get pretty foul and stale. Quite possibly because it is something down there that is probably dead and that has gotten so old that it has began to rot and needs to be discarded. Not to mention, cellars usually go for long periods of time totally unattended and tend to accumulate a bunch of junk that generally never gets used again once it’s placed there. Funny how these characteristics sound a lot like the attitudes and lives of people that tend to be negative and find comfort in darkness. These individuals tend to carry around grudges and unnecessary baggage from one relationship to another. It just lends credibility to the statement that people typically tend to be a product of their environment. So with that being said, please understand that I understand that everyday can’t be Rainbows and Lollipops. I am well aware that there are some days where it is just so much easier to just go with how you feel (albeit positive or negative) instead judging the situation with a certain degree of neutrality. Trust me when I say that there are days when WWJD takes a little longer to compute for me than others. I am human after all and we human beings are emotional creatures. However with time and a lot of patience you learn to walk away from negative people and negative situations. Believe it or not you (yes…you) have the ability to condition your mind to sort through the negativity and pessimism that some folks try to throw your way. For you see we have to train our minds to see the good in every situation. Every situation you ask? Yes. Every situation. Sometimes it’s just harder to separate the good from the bad if you are emotionally invested in the situation that is causing the momentary discomfort.

In closing, I wish to leave you with five simple rules that have allowed me to be a source of positivity and light where negativity and darkness may exist. Now here is my disclaimer for the uninitiated. Experience has taught me that in order for an individual to live a life of positivity and exude seemingly ridiculous amounts of optimism there must be an understanding that it won’t happen overnight. There is work involved and is an ever evolving process. The beautiful thing about exerting energy to bring about positivity is that the universe always honors it. Now also understand that with every process comes momentary frustration. Even the most positive person has their low moments. However in my humble opinion, the key is not letting those low moments linger any longer than they have to. It’s ok to let the feelings in so long as they aren’t allowed to stay….

I leave you with my Five Simple Rules for Happiness:

Free your heart from hatred
Free your mind from Worries
Live Simply
Give more
Expect less

And for those of you that believe as I believe, I leave you with this:

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven – Matthew 5:17.

2013-09-05T17:16:00.005-05:00

Efforts and Courage are not enough without purpose and direction

John F. Kennedy

Merriam-Webster Dictionary online defines effort as something produced by exertion or trying. It also lists several other definitions for the word but this one best fits today’s entry. Experience has taught me that nothing worth having ever comes easy. A healthy body, a strong marriage, a disciplined mind or a kind heart. The question of “worth” depends on the individual. The actual value of anything is based on a person’s experiences and mindset. A person that has never had a lot of money or resources tends to have greater appreciation for what they obtain as opposed to someone who has had access to unlimited resources virtually all of their life. I for one truly appreciate the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me because of where I have come from. If life occurs in seasons then the first part of life for me would be considered Fall. I say Fall (which is my favorite season by the way) because anyone who has experienced a Fall in the Southeastern United States knows that you have your beautiful days and then you have your not-so-beautiful days. I am grateful that I can honestly say that my good days have truly outnumbered my bad days and thankfully in this new season of life I am experiencing, the gap is becoming even wider. This particular season of life for me can only be described as Spring.

But enough about me..

God truly honors effort.

Now I am sure that those of you who believe as I believe can agree that when you set your mind and heart to the accomplishment of a task or arriving at a destination that is aligned with the will of God, He will supplement any deficiencies. The beautiful thing about God is that he understands that our power is only derived from our faith and trust in Him. He knows that we are incapable of obtaining anything through our strength alone and it is because of this that HE is an ever present help to those that call on Him. Now exactly how much effort He requires is uncertain. But one thing is clear. He will most definitely pick up where you leave off if you have given it your all with nothing held back. All that He asks is that when He picks it up….. that you leave it to him to finish the task. So many of us block our blessings and delay our breakthrough because we want to “help God out”. Like anything we contribute is gonna actually assist God with delivering us from or promoting us to where we are or wish to be. This in my (the humblest of) opinion is a foolish sentiment. God has been doing this for a minute now. I mean I’m sure he appreciates it and all, but I don’t think he needs our assistance.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by a phenomenal group of people. Individuals that understand that effort apart from God is foolishness. People that understand that the God we serve is a God of order and function, not one of chaos and confusion. That being said, make sure that the effort you put forth has purpose. God honors effort that brings glory to His name and effort that is purposeful. Allow me to provide you with a few examples of exactly what I mean:

Effort trying to save a relationship that God hasn’t blessed is irrational.

Effort trying to discredit or block another’s progress is foolish.

Effort trying to harm or discomfort someone eventually harms the person attempting to inflict the harm.

Effort trying to move before our appointed season only results in a delayed arrival to your destination.

Effort trying to love someone that you are not equally yoked with only leads to disappointment and frustration.

I could go on for days.

The point is that one should truly consider if the effort they are about to put forth or are currently putting forth is a) truly worth the energy b) serves a purpose for you and c) is aligned with your Deity’s will for your life.

If your effort and energy isn’t purposeful to some extent it is in this author’s humble opinion basically pointless. Take it from someone who has wasted a lot of time and energy trying to do, obtain and keep things that I was never intended to have or pursue in the first place. Pointless endeavors do nothing but frustrate the participant. It skews the perspective and sears the conscience. It makes one bitter and/or cynical. This is why it is extremely important you plan your work, work the plan and trust the plan. And if you first don’t succeed…. don’t worry if you fall flat on your face. The nice thing about falling down is that the only way to go from there is up. I saw a very profound post on Pinterest the other day. It said that if you get knocked down… just roll over and look at the stars. Falling down…failing … grants perspective. How can we ever get better at something if we never have challenges? Failure is only delayed success to those of us who won’t and can’t quit. I personally can never leave a task undone. That could be considered both a gift and a curse. A gift in that by not quitting I eventually receive God’s best. A curse in that I have wasted a lot of time on things and people that I shouldn’t have. The wonderful thing about staying disciplined is that if what you are trying to obtain is a part of your destiny you will be successful. It’s guaranteed. Maybe not in our time or when we want it to occur but it’s an inevitable fact that dutiful attempts eventually lead to a bountiful harvest. It’s having the faith and patience to stay engaged, expecting success. The problem with a lot of us is that we are so busy trying to obtain a goal that we never take the time to stop and visualize actually obtaining that which we seek. I count myself in that number at times. I get so caught up in the details that I fail to actually stop and look at the end result. Is it worth it? Is the energy I’m exerting worth the trouble? Is this going to improve my quality of life and the quality of life of those around me? Does it glorify God and His Kingdom? These are some of the questions I ask myself when I find a particular endeavor or situation becoming troublesome. As I have matured, I find it a lot easier to walk away from anything or anyone that make things more difficult for me than they were divinely appointed to be.

Now don’t get it twisted. Life is challenging and we as human beings (even the superhuman ones) tend to make our existence a lot more difficult than it needs to be. However, we as humans are imperfect. No one has all the answers. Everyone makes mistakes. One of the keys to living is embracing our imperfections. The key to overcoming challenging situations and discouraging incidents is remembering that everything that happens in this life happens for a reason. The difficulties of life arise to strengthen us. Life’s obstacle can test our resolve but are never intended to punish us. It is not the intention of the Most High to cause those that serve Him unnecessary discomfort. We tend to cause ourselves the most discomfort by attempting to obtain or hold on to things that the Most High has asked us to let go of. Chasing pipe dreams and waterfalls can cause one a lot of frustration as well.

One other thing to remember when evaluating whether or not the insane amount of effort your are putting into any given situation is rational or logical is just making sure you haven’t gotten lost in other’s expectation of you. I have witnessed firsthand individuals going all out for a cause that they do not believe in or a reason that they have absolutely no investment in. Now of course over the course of one’s life there will be situations thrust upon us that are unfortunately unavoidable. We may at times find ourselves unintentional participants in supporting the efforts of others. It’s just as my granny used to say…. “just the way the cookie crumbles.” Been there and most definitely done that... more times than I even want to recount or remember. However, the key thing to remember when you find yourself in the unenviable position of supporting a cause that does not directly reflect your beliefs and standards is to remain true to yourself and what you believe regardless of the environment or related circumstances.

Yes, Yes…… the very thought of having to put forth any amount of effort scares the hell out of some folks. I personally know people who have workaphobia (Yeah… I made that up so don’t go trying to Google it). As a matter of fact if given the opportunity to change their quality of life by simply giving the slightest amount of effort they would simply sit back and let that opportunity slide right on by because they just aren’t willing to put forth any effort to take advantage of it.

They say things like:

I ain’t doin’ all that!

So you want me to do what?

Ummmmm...

Who’s doin’ all that? Not me!

Sad thing is (at least to me anyway) while the person is sitting there making 101 excuses why they won’t or can’t do something the ish could have been already done. I have absolutely no sympathy for a healthy, able-bodied individual who refuses to take ownership in improving their quality life. A word to all those folks out there sitting back waiting on their “big break” …. You actually have to do your part to place yourself in position to receive it. No one is gonna just show up at your crib and drop it off on your porch. You’re gonna have to get up off your blessed assurance and make things happen. God truly honors effort but you got to at least let him find you working and not resting on your laurels or curled up in the fetal position in your comfort zone.

So in closing, remember this. Not only does God honor effort, He also honors audacity. Be bold enough to stand firm in the face of opposition. For the enemy is forever placing obstacles in the way of those of us that strive to be a positive influence on our environment. Persistence and Perseverance pays tremendous dividends. Throughout history there have been examples of individuals who have had to withstand what to the untrained eye appears to be insurmountable odds. If you take a closer look at the person’s predicament aka testimony it was the their faith, their effort and their courage that enabled them to push through. For there is a unexplainable sense of freedom in being courageous. A courage derived from the knowledge that effort full of purpose and properly planned is infallible.

Fatal Flaw ©

2013-07-26T04:38:00.000-05:00

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without – Confucius

I want to begin this entry with some very profound words that were shared with me by one of the many phenomenal people I have met since I have relocated to Scottsdale, Arizona:

Always pray to have the eyes that see the best.

A heart that forgives the worst

A mind that forgets the bad &

A soul that never loses faith in God.

I had never heard anything so simplistic, yet so utterly profound. I thank God for the people he has surrounded me with and allowed to come into my life. I thank God for the ones that decided to hang around (I admit I can be an acquired taste at times). I also thank God for the people He has saw fit to remove from my circle. Lord knows He had to do it because I probably would never have disassociated myself from them.

Hence the title of this entry.

My fatal flaw….

Now before I reveal it I want to preface everything by saying that no one on this planet that we have been blessed to inhabit is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all at one time or another have done things that if given an opportunity to revisit whatever that thing may be, may have done things slightly different. However, I would not refer to these feelings or reflections as regrets but merely growing pains. As we grow…. As we mature we (well some of us) find a better way to do things. A better way to resolve conflicts, a better way to speak to people, a better way to handle our everyday affairs, a better way to exist. This is the nature of that beast called aging. As we get older we tend to not sweat the small stuff as much. As we get older we tend to care less about the opinions of others in regards to who we are, what we do and how we live. As we mature, we tend to not be as judgmental because if we are truly honest with ourselves we know that at any time the very people we sought to judge or unfairly label could have been us. Regardless of what you believe and regardless of your current situation, grace and mercy is the only reason your situation isn’t worse that it currently is. If you believe as I believe, you understand from Whom your Grace and Mercy comes from. Now if you are blessed enough to have never ever made a mistake over the course of your life and have never done anything you maybe wish you could have done differently, then just let me be the first to say that you are currently “living the dream”….. or maybe you’re a pretty self absorbed person. I know plenty of self absorbed people. In my humble opinion, a person is self absorbed when they think that the entire world revolves around them and how they think and what they believe is right regardless of whether or not that belief causes the ones around them discomfort or distress. They never worry about anyone in their circle until that person's well being or quality of life effects them albeit directly or indirectly. Yet they always want you to lend them an ear or “pray for them” when they are expericing life difficulties. However, it is our duty as civilized human beings to look out for our neighbor especially those that we profess to love or care about. Now don’t misconstrue what I am saying, we are not expected to do anything for anyone solely on the basis of getting something back. The unfortunate part about self absorbed people is that they have a delusional sense of entitlement...

Jada Pinkett Smith said it best:

We are not entitled to anyone's love.

We are not entitled to anyone's friendship.

We are not entitled to anyone's professionalism, courtesy, consideration or admiration.

We are not even entitled to life.

Receive it all in gratitude.

Tomorrow is not promised.

Unfortunately, some people only do for others to receive something in return. They unfortunately miss the whole point in being benevolent. You should never feel like you are obligated to do anything for anyone. If it’s not in your nature to give, then don’t. Be true to yourself. But understand that the pendulum swings both ways and the Most High as well as the universe rewards a cheerful giver. Don’t be deceived. There are only two types of people in this universe – Givers and takers. Our job is to determine exactly which one we are dealing with and respond accordingly. I say all the time that Karma is not a respecter of persons. You most definitely get what you give in this life albeit for better or for worse. I honestly believe the key to benevolence is maintaining a proper balance with your giving. Don’t share so much of yourself that you lose the joy of giving. Don’t allow yourself to get lost in other’s expectations for you. Always remain true to yourself and everything that is in you. Stand firm in your beliefs regardless of the circumstances and the opinions of others.

Unfortunately this world we live in does not respect “the real” anymore. I mean everywhere you turn people are always talking about “keeping it 100” or keeping it real when in all actuality some folks wouldn’t know how to be honest or behave with integrity if their life was on the line. Most people today if given the option to tell the hard truth or a soft lie would choose the latter every time. The reasons why are unimportant. Honesty is truly the best policy. It cuts down on people making the wrong assumptions about people or a situation, it allows people to manage expectations, it allows people to have the proper perspective on any given situation or individual and first and foremost for those of you that believe as I believe it’s just what is expected of us by the Most High:

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free –John 8:32

People base their “reality” now on their perception of what’s real. Which is not an issue as long as your perception of the facts that add up to your equation for what equals reality is an objective one. The unfortunate thing about many people’s reality is that they either base it on what someone has told them or on a flawed perspective of what is really going on around them. Many people in today’s society have linear vision on a variety of topics…. Race, Economics, Religion, Spirituality, Love, Friendship, Relationships ... I mean the list of topics I could add here is virtually endless. Society is short of free thinking individuals these days. This in the grand scheme of things is extremely disheartening considering the virtually endless sources of information available to people nowadays. Gone are the days of walking to the library to feed your thirst for knowledge (Yeah I’m dating myself….oh well). You can pretty much locate information on any topic by using any number of search engines on the World Wide Web. Yet so many of individuals are satisfied with just accepting what mainstream media and their immediate circle of associates tell them. Even adopting their friends and family’s views as their own without even validating the accuracy of the information for themselves. Now let me also say that having a lot of knowledge does not make one wise. We have a lot of educated fools running around today as well. People that are extremely intelligent on a number of levels yet have little to no common sense.

My Fatal Flaw is that I have a very simplistic view of life. I try to always see the best in people even when they don’t give me much incentive or reason to. At times to my detriment. This probably explains why there are times when God simply removes certain people from my life and out of my circle of associates. I believe in order to live a peaceful and productive life, one only has to have (aside from the obvious spiritual connection to a deity whoever or whatever that may represent for you) three things present in it:

Order = Structure

Symmetry = balance

Function = Purpose

If you believe as I believe, then you understand that God doesn’t bless mess. He favors structure and organization over dysfunction and chaos. I think that I try to maintain a simplistic view of life because we as human beings have a tendency to over think things. I think it’s just in our nature at times to make more of a situation than it actually is. As I have gotten older, I realize that “sweating the small stuff” is counterproductive. As I have I matured, I now understand the importance of the transference of spiritual energy. Simply stated, I understand the importance of turning negative energy to positive energy in order to maintain one’s sanity. People will drive you freaking crazy if you allow them to. Over the course of my life I have learned how important it is to “learn the lesson”. To quickly lay to rest toxic relationships and to promptly exit destructive cycles of behavior. That life is comprised of seasons and once a particular season has passed to let it go. That we were created to be unique, not follow the crowd. That we have been blessed with free will and that we have the right to live life on our terms as long as our quality of life does not impose on someone else’s. Yeah some of you may read this and say that I am delusional… and that’s your God given right to think so. However, I believe in being straightforward and honest. What you see is most definitely what you get. There are no shades of gray with me. For some…that might be too much to handle. True honesty and sincerity sometimes scares the hell out of folks. Others it offends. Here’s the thing though…. All I can control is how I treat you. I have absolutely no control over how you’ll respond. Nor do I want to control it. You were blessed with the ability to behave however you choose to. However, so was I. That being said, my simplistic view of life is mine and mine alone. For better or for worse. I won’t ever try to change anyone’s view of anything. I may offer some advice or offer a varying opinion on a topic if I view the situation or circumstance differently, but I will never try to change anyone’s opinion on anything. That’s a losing battle. For people don’t change until they are ready to. For some…. That day never comes and in my humble opinion that’s perfectly ok. That’s their right.

Yes …my fatal flaw is occasional naivety. A childlike view of life. But you know true beauty comes from embracing one’s flaws. I have learned to embrace mine. Not saying that I always have. There have been times when I have allowed situations and circumstances make me adjust my mindset only to discover later on that my mindset wasn’t the one that needed adjustment. I have learned to commune with and entertain my “inner child”. I developed my simplistic view of life while mentoring inner city youth and serving as a youth counselor in a variety of different programs. You see I am an observer. I feel that a basic component of learning is observation. You want to know the truth about an individual, situation or circumstance? Sit back, observe and don’t say a word. The key is being willing to accept what you see. To me…that’s the hardest part. But anyway…… Kids kind of got this life thing figured out. Kids either like you or they don’t. They don’t pretend to like people to spare their feelings. They say exactly what’s on their mind. They make no excuses for how they feel. They just “do them” and to hell with what anybody else thinks about it. It’s when they get older and have to assimilate into the rules (both spoken and unspoken) of today’s society where they tend to start losing their individualism if their upbringing doesn’t support their free spirited nature. I personally think that we could all take a page from the book of a child.

I refer to my simplistic view of life as my fatal flaw because it has been the source of a lot of pain for me over the years and probably will be until the day I die. Mostly because I just don’t feel the need to change for the sake of others. That belief has resulted in a lot of sleepless nights. That belief has resulted in a lot of disappointments because I chose to see the best in someone who had absolutely no endearing qualities in them whatsoever. I knew the relationship was toxic from the beginning but that occasional naivety kicked in and I honestly believed that the person was trustworthy when clearly they were not. Am I gullible? No. Do I believe that people are innocent until proven guilty? Yes. I kind of view relationships as a work of art. See artists put their heart and soul into their work. Sort of like we are supposed to truly put our heart and soul into relationships. Well at least I do anyway. You see, everyone gets a blank canvas with me. I provide the paint and all the tools you need to paint the picture of how you would like me to see you going into the relationship (Amorous, Platonic or otherwise). I allow you to control the brush strokes. To create the picture that you truly want me to see. Then guess what….once you complete the painting, I interact with you based on the picture you present to me. The problem is that most of the time people don’t really know what to put on the canvas so they paint the picture they think that you want to see instead of just being true to what’s inside of them. Hence my dilemma. I have been presented with some faux masterpieces in my time and anybody that knows anything about art knows that there are some pretty damn convincing replicas of some classical masterpieces in circulation today.

Nevertheless, I am thankful for my imperfections. I acknowledge and embrace them because at the end of the day they are a part of who I am. I say that to say that only God can judge you. People’s opinion change like the wind. They hate you today and love you tomorrow and vice versa. Just ask Lebron James. The man is an international icon now but just three years ago he was one of the most hated men in the NBA (after Commissioner David Stern of course…I think that cat will have the number one spot for ever). Love yourself unconditionally. So when the naysayers and the negativity comes, you won’t focus on it or entertain it. Life is too short to waste one second worrying about how people feel about you or think of how you live your life. Most of the time the people who try to criticize you for the way you live your life secretly wish they had your life anyway. Avoid negative and messy people like the plague. Never take for granted that misery loves company. Trust me I have dealt with my share of miserable messy people. We all have. The key is to make those interactions as brief as humanly possible. Live your life and live it to the fullest regardless of what anyone else thinks about how you live it. Only you truly know what’s best for you. Last but certainly not least, the most important thing to remember is to trust your Creator and trust yourself. Faith can truly move mountains and be not deceived…. Faith is all about trust. Trusting when you can't trace the outcome. Trusting that a flaw to one maybe an asset to another. Knowing that you have truly found peace when you can honestly love yourself…

Flaws and all....

Mindspark by Cathy Johnson

2013-07-20T15:03:00.002-05:00

People who make a difference in life have…

· Initiative – being a self starter with contagious energy

· Vision – seeing beyond the obvious, claiming new objectives

· Teamwork – involving, encouraging, and supporting others

· Faithfulness – hanging in there in season and out

· Enthusiasm – providing affirmation, excitement to the task

· Discipline – modeling great character regardless of the odds

· Confidence – representing security, faith and determination

Be sure your make a difference today!

2013-06-15T22:04:00.002-05:00

Freeing oneself from words is liberation - Bodhidharma

Everybody speaks of needing or wanting freedom in some capacity at one time or another over the course of their life. However, very few people take the necessary steps it requires to truly be free. Some let fear keep them from doing what’s required to obtain the freedom they seek. Others allow complacency to keep their longing for freedom in check. However, most just like the idea of freedom or liberation never actually planning to ever make any attempts of obtaining it. These people merely live vicariously through those few individuals that strive daily to be free albeit literally or theoretically.

Dictionary.com defines liberation as the act of liberating or the state of being liberated. The word is a derivative of the word liberty. Liberty as defined by Merriam- Webster.com is the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life and as having the power to do as one pleases.

At one point or another we all have found ourselves in situations (mostly of our own design) that enslaved us and/or momentarily kept us from truly being who we were truly destined to be. Whether it was that one night stand that turned into a decade’s worth (or more) of baby mama or baby daddy drama (Yes….. baby daddies from what I have been told can be rather dramatic too), that mountain size amount of debt you have accumulated from all those “retail therapeutic” trips to the mall, that toxic relationship that you were never meant to enter into that you continue to try to maintain or that “habit” you just can’t seem to shake. Whatever the situation or circumstance, our life choices ultimately determine whether we live free or live in a state of bondage.

Now allow me to double back for a sec and elaborate on a couple of items.

Freedom represents different things to different people. I understand that no one is perfect and I am in no way a life coach or an expert on decision making. I have made my lion’s share of mistakes. Some public, others not so much. However, that’s one of the many components of living freely. The ability to learn from your mistakes regardless of what public opinion seems to be of them and pressing forward towards a quality of life that works for you. I made reference to a component free living. There are in this humble author’s opinion several. Many of which are so simplistic that we tend to regularly take them for granted. While I probably won’t get around to sharing all of them in this particular entry, I will cover the one’s that I have observed to be extremely important to one’s quest for true liberation.

Freedom of Choice

We all have the right to live the way we wish to live as long as our quality of life does not impede the progress or detrimentally affect those around us. We have every right to live the life we have always dreamed about. Trust and believe that if you want something bad enough and put forth the proper amount of effort to obtain it that God honors effort. With that being said, the acquisition of that thing you long to possess should never be at the expense of another’s happiness, freedom or quality of life. That is the surest way to end on the dark side of karma and take it from this writer…. That is not a place anyone wants to be. Not only do you eventually reap what you sow in instances like this, you could spend half of your life doing it. That’s why it is always important to sow good seed. Always be a part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Pettiness is a choice. Be the bigger person. Messiness is a choice. Mind your own business. Negativity is a choice. See the glass as half full or overflowing. Ignorance is a choice. Make an effort to become enlightened on topics before forming opinions about them. Freedom is a choice. You can live your life at the whim of others or you can choose to live your life as the Creator intended you to …void of anyone’s opinions of who you are or what you represent. You are unique. A one in 7 billion work of art. God provided the canvas …. Now create your masterpiece.

Freedom of the Mind (Individual Thinking)

Enslavement can be as much mental as it can be physical. Many of us can find ourselves incarcerated having never spent one moment in a jail cell. We have become a society that so craves affirmation in one way or another. The unfortunate thing is a lot of us are seeking affirmation from individuals that are as broken and damaged as we believe we are. Now that is most definitely a recipe for disaster and why unfortunately our society is in the state that it’s in. Now I am not a downer or a doomsayer in any way, shape or form. I am however a realist. I observe patterns and trends and study human behavior. I understand that there are those that exist only on the misery and discomfort of those around them. As a matter of fact, the more dysfunctional the situation, the more at home they are in the dysfunction. These individuals may even go out of their way to ensure that the situation never improves. This in my humble opinion lends a little bit of credence to that age old saying that “misery love company”. Nevertheless, just like these individuals make the conscience decision to exist in the midst of dysfunction, we can make the conscience decision to reject this mindset and exist amidst structure and order. We have the ability to think for ourselves and choose to be free thinking individuals. Nonetheless, so many individuals today choose to be spoon fed their ideals, their morals, their beliefs, their opinions to detriment of the world around them. Once upon a time, people took pride in the amount of knowledge they were able to obtain on their own. Once upon time, individuals did not allow mainstream media and reality TV shape their opinions or pattern their behavior. Once upon a time, people took pride in being able to be knowledgeable on a variety of different subjects and weren’t ridiculed for attempting to share that knowledge with others. I look at today’s youth and see where all that our forefathers sacrificed in order for them to live exactly the way they choose to live has taken a serious turn for what looks to be worst. A lot of our youth are now ok for settling for less than their full potential in attempts to not “stand out” or to try to “fit in”. I remember when the whole point of going to school, furthering your education in some capacity and “grinding” were attempts to set yourself apart from the “pack”. Not because you were so much better than others, but merely because you wanted better for yourself. Not because you wanted nothing to do with your “people”, but because you wanted to help your “people” to do better. Not because you wanted all of the praise and accolades for yourself, but because you wanted to be a responsible citizen and do your part to make the world around you a better place. Yet somehow in today’s society, “bad” behavior is the rule of the day. Mainstream media glamorizes it and unfortunately society is eating it up. I mean just turn on the TV. There are so many so called “reality” TV shows that show you that as long as you have money and a little bit of status you can get away with acting like a complete idiot. The funny thing about these TV shows is while they are called “reality” TV shows, they don’t truly represent the reality of eighty-five to ninety percent of the people watching them. Nevertheless, it does not stop that group from going out trying to emulate what they see to the utter frustration of those around them. Now don’t think that I am anti “reality” TV. There are actually some good shows out there. They enlighten and entertain without degrading a gender, a race of people, etc. And ok…. I can’t even lie. I occasionally check out some of the other shows too. I mean it’s kind of sad to see people working out their issues in front of millions of viewers but at the same time it kind of reminds me that my life ain’t really all that bad. The key to watching these shows is to remember that what you are watching is these people’s reality….. not yours. You have to be able to make that distinction. The initial purpose of “reality” TV was to entertain, not for us to pattern our lives after it. I think that’s where a lot of people slip up.

I said all of that to say that in order to obtain freedom on any level, you have to be in the right “head space”. You have to determine what represents freedom for you and then make the conscience decision to take the necessary steps to obtain it. There are those few individuals out there that understand the mind’s power. They did not come to that level of understanding overnight. In order to obtain mental freedom – which in my humble opinion is the most important type of liberation there is – a fair amount of sacrifice must be made. You may have to stop hanging with certain people. You may have to stop going to certain places. You may have to stop reading certain things or watching certain shows. You have to be extremely careful of what you feed your mind. Images are powerful and if you aren’t careful you could find yourself trying to emulate something that goes against everything you stand for or were raised to believe. It takes a strong constitution and an equally strong mind to stand firm against a status quo that goes against everything you know and have been raised to believe is right. It takes an even stronger individual thinker to try to help those that seemingly have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Especially when their opinion is viewed by the establishment as “radical” or “disruptive”. However, it is our duty to help those that we feel have strayed away from any sort of sense and sensibility. Not to stand idly by why they spiral out of control especially if we have any level respect for the individual or concern for their welfare. This is especially true of reclaiming our youth and returning them to the path of being responsible and productive free thinking individuals.

I make a lot of references to our youth because I truly believe that any chance that we have at undoing the atrocities of our past lies with them. I have been a mentor to inner city males and have worked in a number of youth programs and I will be the first to tell you that if you want to experience liberation in its rawest form to look to the mindset of a child. Children represent freedom in its purest form. No true idea of what society has in store for them. No clue of the dangers that await them. No sense of true responsibility. Just pure freedom to do whatever their heart desires. The unfortunate thing is today or homes are missing true parents now. You see true parents spend enough time with their kids to teach them about all of the aforementioned hazards that await them instead allowing “reality” TV or “the block” shape their minds and behavior. I tell the youth I speak with all the time that this “grown up” thing is overrated. To stay in a child’s place as long as humanly possible because once you cross that line into adulthood, there is absolutely no going back. I try to tell them how important it is to learn the lessons life offers them (good, bad, or indifferent) and to always seek wise counsel. Too many of our youngsters view someone sharing advice or wisdom with as “hate” or “shine blocking” when in all actuality it is someone making an attempt to prevent you from making some of the same mistakes that they made. Odd thing is that unfortunately there are a lot of adults out there that have that same mindset. The difference being kids have time to turn that thing around with the right guidance whereas adults tend to ruin the lives of those in their care.

Having the proper mindset can set and keep you free while the improper mindset allows you to be enslaved to the whims of people, places and things dooming you to eternal servitude. I for one know what it means to have both having been blessed to escape the latter. However, my freedom came at an extreme cost (well extreme to me anyway). I had to practically leave everything I have ever known behind in order to obtain the freedom that I so longed for. I was going to never experience it remaining where I was. There were too many distractions, too many unspoken obligations placed on me by people who when it was all said and done did not have my best interest at heart, too many people around me with the improper mindset and just way too much motivation to stay on the “wrong” path. I knew that in order for me to truly be free, I had to make a change. So I took a leap of faith. I packed up and left my comfort zone. See the quest from freedom makes you audacious and bold. The desire to be free overwhelms fear of the unknown or at least it did for me. I was tired of being a slave to my circumstances. The fear of dying never knowing anything other what I had known my entire life was ultimately the “final straw”. So….. I was blessed with the opportunity to pursue my freedom and I haven’t looked back. Sometimes all it takes is a crack in the window of opportunity to motivate us to climb through it. So when you get your chance…take it. They only come around but so often and life offers no guarantees that you will get many of them. Just know that nothing in this life is accidental or coincidental and that the universe operates on a Divine timeline. You get exactly what you are supposed to exactly when you are supposed to and not one second before. The Most High knows what’s best for you even when you don’t and disperses blessings accordingly. With that knowledge and “the faith of a mustard seed” (that was an old Southern Baptist Sunday School flashback for ya’ll) freedom is only an intentional first step away.

Now you must understand that after that first step is taken that that is only the beginning of your journey, a journey that I might add that is not for the faint of heart. Your circle will get smaller simply because you want something different and everyone is not going to understand why. The key is to not be disheartened or despair when people leave your life. They are just making room for the people that are supposed to be there. That will value who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. Not to mention it gives you the time and space you need to become a better you so that when the right people come along, your insecurities won’t run them away. It takes major courage to move against your compulsion to stay in that safe place. Human beings seem to have a natural tendency to try to cling to relationships, places and things even if they are not in their not in best interest. I learned that in order for you to truly experience life’s best you have to understand that life is comprised of seasons and once a certain season in your life is over….. you must let it go. We cause ourselves the most heartache and emotional distress trying to hold on to things that were supposed to release a long time ago. But I get it. Change can be scary. Especially if you don’t have an effective plan. Now don’t get it twisted, having a plan does not insure success. Having a plan merely gives you a reference point. Things don’t always go according to it…best laid plans and such. However, when you reach a point on your quest that seems unfamiliar to you, you always have reference point to return to.

A dear friend kind of summed it up for me this way….

“The freer your mind, the clearer your thinking. The clearer your thinking, the better are your choices. The better your choices, the better your quality of life.”

Like I mentioned earlier, a mindset that is rather simplistic and easily taken for granted. Yet so hard to follow for some. A number I once counted myself amongst. But no longer. See….. that’s the thing about becoming an individual thinker. Once you get a taste of it, you will never again settle for anything less than the truth. Anything less is an absolute insult to your intelligence.

2013-01-27T15:37:00.002-06:00

Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free – John 8:32 NIV

Those of you that know me know that I like to play things particularly close to the vest. However, today’s entry is one of a personal and albeit more candid nature.

I’ll start this entry by saying that as I have matured both mentally and spiritually, I find it easier to say what I want and need to say as long as it is rooted in truth. Not my truth, but truth revealed from a higher and more trusted authority. Not saying that I myself am untrustworthy, but that God’s truth is more time tested, all encompassing and is ultimately sovereign. However as we all know or have and most definitely will eventually come to know, the truth at times can be most inconvenient. Especially if that truth flies in the face of everything we know or have been raised to believe. Nevertheless, it is the truth and regardless of when you acknowledge its validity, it still remains the fact of matters. It just is what it is and it’s going to be what it’s intended to be. Regardless of what amount of considerable effort one puts forth to avoid or conceal it.

That being said, in my humble opinion truth is synonymous with freedom. You’ve heard the old adage. No truer words have ever been spoken. Speaking the truth, even if it is an inconvenient one sets everyone in earshot free. At that moment, everyone is free to believe and feel what they want as is their God given right and privilege. The unfortunate problem with today’s society is that it is short on free thinking individuals. People in today’s society find it much easier to believe someone else’s truth as opposed to formulating and standing on their own. That’s concerning and a tad bit disheartening. Disheartening in the fact that God blessed us all with free will and so many of us forfeit it for the sake of “fitting in” or “keeping the peace”. While I for one love peaceful coexistence, I understand that there will be lapses of harmony in said existence because of people’s differences. I say lapses because they don’t have to be permanent rifts. The rift and discord only becomes permanent because we as human beings due to pride, poor communication skills, preconceived notions, seared consciences or flawed perception allow them to be. The beautiful thing about the pure and unadulterated truth is that it transcends all of the aforementioned states of consciousness.

I personally, now as I have matured - notice I said matured and not as I have grown "older" for you are only as "old" as you feel - understand what my parents were trying to tell me back in the day. The wisdom they tried to impart onto a little knucklehead boy from Bordeaux who didn’t even realize how good he had it until it was stripped away from him early in the game by his parent’s divorce and all of the disharmony and discord that followed. I learned you are never as free over the course of your life as you were when you were a child. As for me when I was a child (well early in my childhood) I had no obligations. My only “job” was to go to school, clean my room, do what my parents and other family members asked of me and go play. My truth was that I was loved, provided for, cared for and protected. That allowed me to be the best I could be in school and in extracurricular activities. My only concerns were not doing anything to lose the freedoms I had been given by my parents by doing bonehead stuff. My dad being ex military and my mom being old school down south born and raised kind of helped keep a brother in check. I can honestly say I owe everything I am today to my parents taking a vested interest in what I did and did not do as a youngster. Nevertheless, I learned at an early age that all good things undoubtedly come to an end. My “truth” became distorted and at an early age I had to “grow up”. At an age where kids were enjoying their adolescent years, I was working and paying bills to keep the lights on at the crib. At an age when most people if they are afforded the opportunity to go to college are partying and focusing on finishing school to begin their careers to create families of their own, I was working three jobs, attending classes and trying to have some semblance of a college experience. Yeah my truth had become “by any means necessary”. If you are reading this and have ever been there, you understand what all that entails. No need for elaboration. I say all of that to say that as I have traveled this road of life; my truth was not always one I happily signed up for. At times it was forced upon me either by others or by the decisions I made along the way. All of which I can truthfully say were not always the best ones. Nonetheless, they were my decisions and you won’t hear me making excuses for them. I understand accountability and all that comes along with it. This is what I find concerning about the state of affairs in our world today. People aren’t willing to own up to their part of things. They are quick to stand up when praise is being passed around but look for the deepest and darkest hole when it’s time to account and atone for mistakes. “Passing the buck” seems to be the theme of the day now. “Throwing people under the bus” is some people’s favorite pastime. I have even unfortunately met my share of bus drivers. People are so quick to point out other’s shortcomings and flaws in order to divert attention away from their own. Or maybe they are intimidated by an individual’s drive and/ or wisdom, knowledge base or skill set. Whatever the reason for their insecurity, it is easily remedied. Spend more time improving yourself and less time tearing down others. I guarantee you will have less time to throw stones.

As for me, I am constantly in a state of evolution. I am always looking for ways to better myself. That does several things for me. It staves off complacency, all but eradicates jealousy, keeps me proactive instead of reactive, allows me to celebrate the success of others, and helps me to not entertain the foolishness of others. I’m too busy. An idle mind is most definitely the devil’s workshop. Take it from someone that has allowed the devil a shift or two in the workshop of their mind. Dude was getting benefits and had a 401 k for a sec. I had to let him go though. The overhead was too damn high and his workmanship was shoddy. Plus he kept breaking stuff and pissing off the other employees.

But I digress…

When you are in a constant state of evolution, you are constantly moving. Constantly trying to position yourself to receive life’s best. Don’t be deceived, you cannot receive life’s best void of any effort. Nothing is going to be handed to you in this life. Anyone that has ever been successful at anything has paid dues of some kind. Now granted they may make it look easy, but trust…..it wasn’t.

Now a little background on why I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence.

Anyone that knows me knows that I appreciate clarity.

In all things….

Some appreciate me for that, some don’t. Where you are on the appreciation scale is of no concern to me. Clarity is the only way I can truly appreciate people and their differences. If I’m clear on how you are and what you represent, I know better how to deal with you good, bad or indifferent. That being said, I can honestly say it took me years and a lot introspection to get to this point. I have also entertained a lot of foolishness along the way and for those people that got on my last nerve and went out of their way to inconvenience me in every aspect of my life I just have one thing to say……. Thank you! Were it not for you, I would not know or truly understand what it means to have peace of mind. If it were not for you I would not understand what it’s like to forgive. If it weren’t for you, I would not have the sort of patience that I have now. Thank you for reinforcing my discipline and tempering my resolve. Thank you for helping to me figure out who my true friends are. I am sincerely thankful for you from the bottom of my heart. I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence because I want to share my story of my escape from bondage with you. Yes, bondage… and not the pleasurable type. I ain’t Christian Grey and I don’t have 50 shades. The bondage of which I speak is the kind that we at times allow ourselves to be placed in due to people’s unfair expectations for our lives. We burden ourselves with unspoken obligations that shackle us to people, places and things unnecessarily. We also allow fear, doubt and regret place us in a state of mental, emotional and sometimes even physical bondage. I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I can or even care to remember. The worst part of this kind of enslavement is that it is most of the time self-imposed. We tend to sign up for it by not living in the truth of the situation. We also enslave ourselves by setting unfair and unreasonable expectations on people that most of the time don’t even know those expectations are present or even have the ability of meeting or the desire to pursue the expectations that have been set. Or how about neglecting yourself or not being the person God intended you to be in order to “keep the peace” . No peace is worth keeping if it does not allow you the freedom to be who you want or need to be. So declare your independence. I have declared mine and it started in the most unlikeliest of places under the most unexpected of circumstances.

My independence started with a move.

For you see I had been a slave to the whims of other people nearly my entire life. The whims of family, friends, lovers, “mentors”, etc. Slave to people’s unfair expectations, preconceived notions , seared consciences and severely flawed perceptions. The beautiful thing about God’s love for us is that he does what’s best for us even if we don’t fully appreciate or understand what His intentions are for our lives. I can honestly say that it was not until God ordered my steps into the desert that I felt I was allowed a furlough from my self- imposed and unspoken obligations to everyone in my life. Funny how God works, huh. He isolates you so he can get a word to you. So that you are able to hear His direction clearly. That’s His thing and he has been doing it for millennia. Don’t believe me? Read the Word. Moses on Mt Sinai, Jonah in the Belly of a Whale, John the Baptist on the Isle of Patmos or Saul on Damascus Road. Now I do not to profess to be as righteous as any of the aforementioned individuals. Nonetheless, a wilderness experience is a wilderness experience and the outcome of this sort of experience at any level is life altering. So here I am, living in the Valley of the Sun. Out here all by my lonesome and apparently all according to God’s plan for my life. You see, while I am the only child from my parent’s marriage and have learned to cherish my solitude…. God’s isolation plan for our lives is solitude on an entirely different level. It has been my experience that not only will He remove certain people from your life but he will also prevent you from forming bonds with certain people that will distract you from fulfilling His purpose for your life as well. Unfortunately, everyone is not supposed to be in your circle and everyone that claims to be your friend is not. Clarity and spiritual discernment allows one to know the difference. Now I understand that nobody’s perfect and that you can’t possibly hope to be everything for everybody. However, you do have the ability to be something to somebody. You have the ability to be a provider, a nurturer, a protector, an advisor, a counselor, a confidant (That means somebody can tell you something and you not run and tell the entire world about it…for the uninitiated), and a motivator. Yes we all have the ability to be something to someone. However, before we can be any of those things we have to be all of those things for ourselves. For you can’t hope to be any of those things for others and not have a source or supply to draw from once people have depleted yours. Now here comes the tricky part. It’s easy to be any of the aforementioned things for someone we love or truly care for. But what about people we barely know? People that come into your life not by accident or coincidence (because in my humble opinion there is no such thing) but for a purpose. That’s the true test. Can you be more than just a placeholder? Can you offer a smile, a compliment or kind word, a hug, a service, your loyalty…..your presence? Are you so caught up in yourself and what’s important to you that you can’t even sacrifice one moment of your time to make sure someone is ok or in a “good place”. Or are you just a parasite? Sucking the life out of your host and then moving on to the next one. That last question was rhetorical. Most parasitic people never own up to it anyway.

You see, life has taught me that the only way that a person can ever truly be free is to free their mind. To get their thinking clear. We live in a society where we are now forced to process so much information. It’s everywhere and readily accessible at a moment’s notice. That’s why it is vital that we carefully screen what we allow into our minds. Free thinking allows one to appreciate the blessings that they have instead of falling susceptible to greed and envy. Free thinking will allow you to understand that it is better to be alone and happy than in a relationship or situation and be miserable. Free thinking will force you to stop punishing yourself for past misdeeds and mistakes and allow you to press on in the direction you were intended to. Free thinking forces you to accept the truth of a matter (whatever that may be) and makes you drop "dead weight". When your mind is free and clear of the world’s clutter, you are in a better position to make the best decisions regarding your quality of life. Quality of life…. A term truly taken for granted these days. It means different things to different people but the one consistent theme is that people want one that is enjoyable and allows them ability to do whatever it is that there heart truly desires. Many of us are blessed enough to actually have the ability to enjoy that sort of quality of life. All of us have the ability to. The difference is that those of us that have gotten to a place where we enjoy life for what it is understand that we had to give up certain things in order to obtain it. You see some people get blessed with a new start that can improve their quality of life and try to drag a bunch of old stuff with them. Stuff that the Creator intended for you to leave behind. He does not deliver you from your old life and open the door to a new one only for you to bring along your junk.

Not following me?

Let me clear it up for you a little:

You get delivered from alcohol and drug abuse, and you keep hanging with “the crew” that smokes and dopes.

The divorce is final on Monday and you back in the club looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. on Friday without even processing what the hell just happened.... dragging all of your unaddressed issues into the next relationship.

You are a baby mama… again.

You are a baby daddy…again.

You are locked up…. again.

You are unemployed… again.

I mean the list of scenarios is virtually endless. I get it though. Change can be frightening. A fresh start can be overwhelming and we as human beings crave security and consistency. Some people have had an extremely hard life. I absolutely understand that. However, that is never an excuse for not wanting to do better. Nobody has all the answers and unfortunately not everyone has common sense. Nonetheless, unless you were born with some kind of mental impairment or have been unfortunate enough to acquire some sort of mental disability …. You have the ability to do better. All you need is a plan. Everything may not go according to it, but you will most definitely be in a better place than you were without it. Besides, the God I serve honors effort…but you have to do your part. Yes…sometimes the only way one can truly be free is with a fresh start. I'm telling you something that I know from firsthand experience. God knew that the only way for me to be truly free and in position to receive His best was to remove me from everything and everyone I have ever known. I can honestly say that that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. For you can’t truly appreciate independence if you don’t actually know you are in bondage.

As for me…..I have declared my independence and will never take it for granted again. The beautiful thing is that you can too. If you choose to. I implore you to do so. However you must understand that doing so is not for the faint of heart but once experienced, you will never allow yourself to be forced into bondage of any kind and will never settle for anything less than total independence ever again.

2012-12-09T13:25:00.001-06:00

In a world of prayer, we are all equal in the sense that each of us is a unique person, with a unique perspective on the world. A class of one.

W.H. Auden

Life has most definitely taught me that people have a varying opinion on what’s right and what's wrong. To some, Right vs. wrong is merely a matter of perspective.

People also have the oddest views on what makes someone the type of person they are and most of the time their opinion is based on someone else’s. That’s why I honestly believe that any time you spend trying to convince someone you are a good person or that you are not a bad person is an absolute waste of time and energy. Someone either recognizes you are a good person or they don’t. If they don’t, then more than likely it’s because they can’t. The likely reason that they can’t is because they have never been exposed to anyone like you before so they don’t have a frame of reference or the slightest clue of what a good person looks like or how one operates. Then there is also the distinct possibility that they want to be the type of person that you are but for whatever reason can’t, and instead of respecting you for your abilities, they hate you for them. That’s why it is truly important to be extremely selective about the people you allow into your space. It is essential that you make sure that they aren't wolves in sheep's clothing. Here is one way you can tell... there are several that I’ll cover later on. If your "friend" is always quick to accept and slow to give... there may be as my grandfather used to say "a fox in the hen house". Nonetheless, one person’s saint is another one’s sinner in the grand scheme of things. We have all been blessed with free will and have the right to think whatever we want about anyone or anything. The key is making sure that whatever your opinion may be, make sure that it’s an objective one. In order to have objectivity one must have the proper perspective. The Free Dictionary by Farlex defines Perspective as “a mental view or outlook”. Perspective is truly one’s opinion of what they see or experience. Consequently, how we view one another usually comes down to the opinion that we have formed (or have had formed for us) about those around us. Now, I am by no means an expert in Behavioral Science or an expert on human behavior. Nonetheless, I would like to share with you a little of the insight life has afforded over the years.

I was once told that there are two types of people in this world, givers and takers. Ladies and gentlemen, there are actually three. There are givers, there are takers and then you have takers that pose as givers. Now, don’t be alarmed. I just recently found this out myself. Well honestly I have always known, I have just finally decided to accept it. Now! Allow me to share with you how to properly identify what I call a "Benevolent Imposter".

Have you ever dealt with an individual that always talks about the goodness of God and how he is so faithful? Yet whenever you see them they are asking for a "favor" or taking what they have no right to. Or maybe you have been in the presence of someone that is always accepting people's generosity but is EXTREMELY slow to return the favor. Then there is the individual that tries to shame you for not being there when they "needed you" but is nowhere to be found when you truly need them. Oh oh or how about this one.... the individual that gives with the sole purpose and expectation of receiving something in return and not from the kindness of their heart. If you have had the displeasure of dealing with the type of person described in any of the aforementioned scenarios then you my friend have met a Benevolent Imposter.

Now... please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. I'm not saying that anyone should just walk around endangering their well being, livelihood or quality of life by giving everyone they meet the shirt off their back. I am not saying that one should walk around with their heart on their sleeve to prove to people that they are indeed a benevolent person. As a matter of fact I HIGHLY recommend putting that joint back in your chest where it belongs to save yourself a lot of anguish and disappointment. I am merely saying that there are people out there whose number one goal in life is self satisfaction, even if it is at someone else's expense. The thing is to get close to someone, they will do and say what needs to be done and said to "get in where they fit in" and sometimes that means they become a Benevolent Imposter. I know. I have been fooled on SEVERAL occasions. I have been fooled into believing someone had a kind heart and virtuous spirit only to later discover they were an emissary straight from the depths of hell. Sometimes it boils down to intentional then other times the person just doesn’t know any better or has had a life so chaotic or full of strife that all they know. However, ignorance is never an excuse for mistreating someone. The thing that allows me to move past people's deception, ignorance and disrespect is a) what I believe b) in Whom I believe and c) the fact that not everyone believes what I believe and that its their God given right not to. That being said though if you fit the characteristics of a Benevolent Imposter (if you do and you are a true BI then you would never openly admit it anyway) understand that you get what you give in this life and that Karma is not a respecter of persons. You do eventually reap what you sow. that’s why it is always essential to sow good seed if you wish to continuously receive the best life has to offer. Sure it looks like the people out here spewing negativity and taking advantage of people are getting ahead...on the surface. But I assure you that if you peel back a few layers you'll see the torment, the agony, the frustration, the regret, the discontent with the type of life they have created for themselves. I recently heard this quote that sums their mindset up best:

"Once you have done what you have to do, they will never let you do what you want to do"

In my opinion that sums up life in a nutshell. We all are face with situations when we have to what's necessary to survive. It is in these moments when what’s right or what’s wrong truly becomes a matter of perspective. Over the years I have learned that the most important thing to remember when faced with the aforementioned situation is to keep your vision clear. Clarity (although not favored by most people because it forces accountability) allows one to have the proper perspective when the survival instinct kicks in. And it will. And when it does and you have made your choice - at least if your vision is clear when the choice was made - there should be little to no regret. Simply because you simply did what you felt in your heart you had to do. Now.... the other side of that coin is making rash and emotionally charged decisions when the survival instinct kicks in. We have all done it, myself included. I don’t know about you but the amount damage control and hell I experienced after the fact trying to set things right wasn't even worth it. It is when we make irrational choices and rash decisions - all in the interest of self preservation - is when we generally do or say things we wish we could take back. Well if you have a conscious or any sort concern for the damage or discomfort that may befall others because of your actions anyway. I’m slowly learning that having a conscious in today’s society is more of the exception than the norm. Most people nowadays will pretty much do anything to anybody and frame it as them only doing what was eventually going to be done to them anyway. Today we live in a society full of damaged people with seared consciences. The “get them before they get me” mindset is so prevalent in today’s society that people can’t even poke fun at one another without someone taking offense to what is said or making mountains out of molehills. Now granted, some of these people of whom I make mention have every right to feel this way given their past. However, these people also have to accept responsibility and accept accountability for the decisions they made (some highly questionable in fact) that caused them to end up in somebody’s crosshairs. Now… no one is perfect and not everyone can be “Christ like” every hour of every day. Simply because guess what… You are not Jesus Christ. You are not the Son of God. If you believe as I believe then you know that you were made in the image of the Most High. However, we are a slightly flawed version of the original. Okay…. severely flawed. Nevertheless, mistakes will be made. Consequences will be reaped. Unpleasant experiences will leave its scars (externally as well as internally). Yet in spite of all these things, we should never go into any situation with a preconceived notion of the outcome. Nor should we ever use past experience to determine how we handle people that have not given us a reason to do so. God does not reveal things to us about people, places or things for us to judge them or criticize them. He shows us these things so that we can understand and better appreciate them. Even if we don’t necessarily agree with it or care for what we see. Honestly, how we feel about what is revealed is our personal opinion and in the grand scheme of things means absolutely nothing to anybody but us. That being said, understand the importance of timing and tact. The Word of God explicitly says that there is a time and a place for everything and also that the power of life and death is in the tongue.

The unfortunate thing is that some people do not understand the power that they wield. Some people have no clue how powerful there words can be. I hear some parents talk to their children like someone they meet on the street. Cursing them without thought to how this ultimately will determine how this child accepts criticism from others and how they will eventually communicate with other people. With no concern with how this will make the child view figures in position of authority. With no idea that when the child becomes old enough to rebel, no amount of discipline or number of threats will make them “mind”. Then there is yet another side of the coin, our interpersonal relationships. Gossiping about people, slandering people’s good name, speaking on situations without obtaining all the facts and swearing it’s gospel… I mean the list of possible misuses of the power of the tongue is literally endless. The absolutely ironic (and sometimes comical) things about this is that when the tables are turned and the one gossiping gets called out, or the slanderer has their dirty laundry on display then all of a sudden the fall into what my homegirl calls a state of “victimdom”. Yeah… I know it’s not a word, but it should be. Mainly because it accurately describes people who stay doing dirt yet always play the victim when they find themselves on the receiving end of that same grimy treatment. Yet to them they are doing nothing wrong and how dare you call them out. As scary a thought as this may be, can’t you just imagine what is going on in the brain of someone like that:

“I mean seriously, we’re not even talking about me…we’re talking about you. What’s the matter with you? I don’t want anyone to know how shady I am. How jacked up my life is. How I think that some attention (whether it be good or bad) is better than no attention at all. If people knew all this foolishness I was doing on the back end trying to keep all the negative attention focused on you, they would probably not even deal with me anymore! Cut that out and take this tongue lashing.”

The sad thing is that as much as these people try to hide their intentions and try to portray to the world that they have it all together while trying to make the world view others in an unfavorable fashion, people who are not caught up in appearances and worry little about the opinions of others see them for exactly who they are. Now on the other hand if you a messy motherf…. My bad….. if you like mess and thrive in dysfunction then you be will right at home in the state of Victimdom. I get it though. It’s easier to follow the crowd. It’s easier to go along with foolishness to keep the spotlight off of you. It takes work to love and accept someone flaws and all. It’s unnerving to have people see you for who you really are when you don’t even really like what you see in the mirror. However, that gives no one an excuse to take their insecurities out on others simply because you are either to lazy or too scared to do anything about them. In my – the humblest of opinions -the only person that can fix what’s going on with you or what you feel is wrong with you is you (with assistance from the Most High of course). That’s where having the proper perspective of yourself and the world around you proves to be extremely essential.

As for me, I’m a contextualist. My perspective of the world is rooted in the Word of God but is most definitely in tune with the fact that we live in a different world than Christ lived in over 2000 years ago. I believe that everything that occurs to us in this life has its place in it. The good as well as the bad. For from the good we excel and progress while from the bad if we pay close enough attention we learn valuable lessons and eventually move forward being better equipped for what lies ahead. Sadly, a great many us don’t learn from our negative experiences because we allow them to consume us and distort our focus. I count myself amongst that number on occasion. However, I have what I find and fear most don’t have… a moral code. There are just some things I just won’t do to get ahead. I will never intentionally suffer any harm to befall anybody and I seek to please no one but the Most High. I put others before myself (sometimes to my detriment) and I always try to be impeccable with my word. Understanding the power of the tongue I always try to use kind words and tell the truth. And last but certainly not least, I always strive to make anything better than it was when I encountered it by sharing of what I have been blessed with. Now with all that said…. Please understand that I am not perfect by any means. I have made my share of bonehead mistakes and have not always been able to WWJD. However, with maturity I have realized that it is much better to live a life rooted in positivity than to go through life constantly focusing on what’s wrong with it. Sure it’s ok to want better for yourself, but not at the expense of being ungrateful for what you already have. I know all too well of how one can lose sight of how extremely blessed they are based on their current predicament. I have had to endure some pretty disappointing and disheartening things in this life. Things that easily could make one pretty much lose sight of the bigger picture. To me the big picture is living a fruitful and productive life and empowering others to do the same. To me, this is the best perspective one could have of life. For you see, It’s not the tangibles that make this life worth living (although if used in the proper context, they can definitely enhance one’s quality of life) but it’s the intangibles that truly bring us peace and serenity.

So if you don’t take anything else from this entry, please understand that one’s perspective could be the difference between an enjoyable life and a miserable one. Decisions made without the proper forethought and insight can end up doing you more harm than good. Trust me, I know. I’m telling you what I know from what I have experienced, not something I’ve only heard about or only read in some book. Working to get your vision clear in order to have the proper perspective requires a great amount of time and effort. The enemy understands this and undoubtedly will provide you with several opportunities to take the easy way out because this sort of undertaking truly is not for the faint of heart. Yet know this… if you stay the course and free your thinking, there is nothing in this world that you can’t have.

2012-10-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln

In my humble opinion, there is no force on the planet stronger than the heart and mind of a champion. One my heroes said it best:

“Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something that they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a vision.”

He kind of knew what he was talking about too. He has set a many a contender on their Gluteus Maximus.

The War Within

The Burden of Invisibility - By JT Morris II

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 2 © By JT Morris

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 1 © By JT Morris

Keys to Living – TGIS: Thank God, It’s Sunrise©

Mental Toughness (18 Things Mentally Strong People Do)

Reciprocity ©

Cycles and Signs

In The Midst ©

Vexation ©

Structural Integrity©

Life after Death ©

The War Within Redux (The war rages on) ©

True change: The Price of indifference (What’s Love got to do with it?) ©

Substance ©

Who am I? ©

Detox ©

The People’s Champ (Paradigm Shift) ©

The Light ©

God Honors Effort ©

Fatal Flaw ©

Mindspark by Cathy Johnson

Liberation – Part 1©

Declaration of Independence ©

True Perspective (Viewpoint Analysis) ©

The People’s Champ (Paradigm Shift) ©