[A Daft Scots Lass]

Caption My Photo Competition #3

2013-05-21T05:00:00.000+02:00

Happy Toozday, my beautiful Plonkers.

Over the weekend, I took the dogs for a walk. One of the leashes got tangled around my ankles and I fell with all my weight on my pinkie finger (and I ain't a small lass).

It fucking hurt like a Bitch!

I was sobbing, bleeding and my hand started bruising and swelling immediately. I thought I'd broken my hand or at least my finger, because the pain was so bad. I didn't go the the emergency room immediately because my youngest lass had a play date with a friend and I figured if the swelling hadn't gone down by the time KK's playmate had gone home, I'd go to the ER.

The swelling hadn't subsided, even though I'd kept it elevated and soaked it in cold water for a half an hour or so. I decided 2 hours after the accident to take myself off to the ER to make sure I hadn't broken anything. The pain was still quite bad.

Three xrays later and no fractures, it was just a bad sprain. They cleaned out the wound (FUCKING Ouch!) and the doctor said it wouldn't need a stitch if I looked after it. So, back home 2 hours later with pain killers and my medical insurance cringing.

Leaving the hospital the parking guy said "Six Rand, please". I said "Six Rand?! Daylight robbery!". He said "Nah, its cheap". I said "Yeah, cheaper than in there!" pointing to the Emergency Room.

Now back to the Competition?

Caption this whacky image and win a brilliant Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoo.

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-05-20T06:00:00.000+02:00

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme is "Summer". Ironic because its heading quickly into winter here in South Africa, much to my displeasure.

Go Visit Xmas Dolly and link up your favourite toonz.

My Dad used to play this 45" over and over. Its been etched in my memory forever. Eddie Cochran...

The beautiful Nora Jones

A Great film full of brilliant songs.

A very catchy song and naughty music video (you should check out the uncensored one!)

Some Zepp

And The Winner Is....

2013-05-18T16:12:00.000+02:00

Congratulations to this week's lucky winner

Kellie over at Delightfully Ludicrous.

Here's what she captioned:

The job was hard, the hours gruelling ... but the perks were second to none!

Kelly, email me your mailing address to adaftlass@gmail.com and I'll be sending you a wee something from me. Thanks to everyone who commented and left a caption. You lovely Plonkers rock my fekking face off.

Friday's Shoegasm Heels2Heaven

2013-05-17T05:00:00.000+02:00

Hey Beautiful Plonkers.

Thank Fuck is Friday!

It has been an eventful week and what better way to celebrate its closure with some gorgeous sexy and alternative shoes from Heels2Heaven

Go check out their website. Their prices are pretty reasonable considering their uniqueness.

Nude Cheery Peep Toe Sling Backs

Anchor Sailor Peep Toe with Bow Detail

Cutie Pie Retro Black and White Polka Dot with Red Bow Detail

Navy Bettie Retro Sling Back and Peep Toe

Cordelia Paisley Print Heels with Arch Strap

Geometric Print Black and White Zombie Peep Toe Heels

Tartan Fabric Print Heels with Strap

Have an awesome weekend. I've been asked to do some voice-over work for a company based in the States I guess someone likes my accent after all :-)

And We'll Go Up, Up, UP.

2013-05-15T06:30:00.002+02:00

I came across this on SlydesBlog and thought I'd share Zach's story with you because it touched my heart and so many others on YouTube.

A brilliant song and talented artist.

Here were all his video responses!

Zach you are an inspiration to everyone!

Don't forget to go Caption my Photo Competition.

Caption My Photo Competition #2

2013-05-14T06:30:00.000+02:00

Hey lovely Plonkers its Toozday, which means its time to Caption my daft Photo Competition and make us all laugh out loud.

The best caption wins a wee something special from me. Ready?

What is your hilarious caption for this zany image?

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-05-13T11:13:00.000+02:00

Happy Monday

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme is. Go visit Xmas Dolly and link up and share some toonz

Quite a different version of "Black Dog"

A Different Version of Call Me Maybe

Some good old fashioned blues

Some three-string Trans by the brilliant Seasick Steve

Remember to pop in tomorrow for my Caption my Photo Competition.

Walkin in Heels Vloggity Vlog

2013-05-12T05:00:00.000+02:00

Firstly, Happy Mother's Day to all the brilliant mums and MILFs out there in Bloggerville.

I hope you have a wonderful day and that you get spoiled absa lootly rotten.

Secondly, some of you Plonkers wanted to know if I can walk in five and a half inch heels....

And The Winner Is

2013-05-11T13:00:00.005+02:00

And The Winner of this week's re-launch of my old feature : Caption My Photo Competition is

Andrew Leon

and he captioned this cracker

"The Shadow knows..."

and now email me on adaftlass@gmail.com with your mailing address and I'll be sending you a wee something from me. Aren't you a lucky, Fucker?

Remember to pop in again on Toozday for #2 of Caption my Photo Competition.

Friday's Shoegasm

2013-05-10T18:11:00.000+02:00

Happy Friday, Bitches!

Today's Feature of shoes is compliments of Zando. They offer free delivery and free returns within 14 days.

You can find them all over the interwebz. Support them on Twitter, Facebook and Zando's Google Plus profile.

Here are some of my favourite Iron Fist brand of clothing and shoes.

Iron Fist Poka-Dot Platform with bow detail and ankle strap

Iron Fist Flower Blue and Hot Pink Platform with bow detail, T strap and ankle charm

Iron Fist Purple Platform Ankle Boots with Wrap Ankle Srtap

Iron Fist Skull and Retro Print with Arch Bow Detail

Iron Fist Orange Fruit Print Platforms with Bow and Ankle Strap Detail

Have a Whopper of a Weekend and see y'all tomorrow for the Winner of this week's Caption My Photo Competition.

If you haven't entered already, head on out there Plonkers and caption that Fucker.

Caption My Freaky Photo Competition Re-Launch

2013-05-07T05:00:00.000+02:00

Hey Beautiful Plonkers. Its time to re-launch my Toozday feature:

Caption My Freaky Photo Competition

For all the Plonkers that are not familiar with my Photo Caption Competition slash Giveaway, here's how it works; I post a daft and freaky photo on my blog everyTuesday, you lovelies get to leave a Comment Caption for the photo and the best one that makes me laugh the loudest and cackle like an old whore, wins!

What do I win, I hear you ask? Well, no other than a FANDADIEDOSIE Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoo. Go check out some of the previous Prize Plonkers sporting their pretty fucking awesome temporary ink! Bonus points for wearing your tattoo, even more bonus points for taking a picture of you wearing the tattoo. Jackpot points for sending me the pictures and allowing me to upload it on to my very special Prize Plonkers page here on A Daft Scots Lass' bloggy.

and coz they're so brilliant and that's how I roll..

Pay close attention to this one...

READY?

GO.

TlhIngan maH!

2013-05-06T10:21:00.001+02:00

Hey all you Trekkies and Ugly-Bags-of-Mostly-Water out there - and there are truck loads of you weird Fuckers.

Get yer StarFleet hats on, pull up yer Spock Socks, Gorn tails and adjust your Tricorder to Klingon.

Check this cute wee video oot!

Live Long and Prosper.

Sujatlh 'e' yImey (you didn't know I spoke fluent Klingon, did you?)

Remember to pop in tomorrow for the recommencing of Caption My Freaky Photo Competition. Oh, you KNOW you wanna.

Blog Award from Jo

2013-05-05T06:30:00.000+02:00

I was recently awarded the Liebster Award and now there are rules I have to stick to and everyone knows I never stick to the rules.

1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award That would be Jo on Food, My Travel and a Scent of Chocolate

2. Place the Liebster Award icon on your site. Voila!

3. Nominate 5 Bloggers to receive the award.

Post 11 random facts about you.
Answer 11 questions that the awarder has asked
Nominate 5 bloggers
Ask your nominees 11 questions
Be awesome!

Here are 100 random facts about me rather.

1. If you could be any animal, which would it be and why?
Giraffe because I've always wanted to know what its like to be tall.
2. What kind of tree are you?
A Coconut tree.
3. Are you a city person or a country person? I'm a City Lass. I wouldn't know the first thing about living in the country.
4. If you could meet one historical figure living or dead, who would it be?
Lee Harvey Oswald
5. Window seat or aisle?
Window every time
6. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Wherever there are mountains and its warm all year around.
7. Fast food or gourmet meal, assuming you are doing the cooking?
Fast Food. I am a cheap date.
8. What or who inspired you to start a blog?
Wanted to share photos with overseas family
9. When it come to appointments are you there ten minutes early or ten minutes late?
Always early. I detest being late.
10. What the most challenging thing you have ever accomplished?
Learning to kerb a certain bad habit.
11. Why did you decide to accept the award and answer all the questions?
Coz I like Jo and her wee blog.

I nominate the following bloggers that I am newly following.

Life's Ride As I see It
Thoughtless Gibberish
It's Rhyme Time
Brandon Ax
Well, Oh Yeah!!

These are your questions
1. Whats your favourite sports team?
2. Dogs or Cats?
3. Your most embarrassing moment.
4. Bacon or Chocolate?
5. Which social media platforms and why?
6. Winter or Summer?
7. Who is your role model?

I think 7 is enough. Seven is a good number..

My 2013 A to Z Blog Challenge Reflections Post

2013-05-03T20:08:00.000+02:00

I tried so many times to get this vlog right. How many times have a vlogged? Hundreds? How I couldn't get this simple Reflections Report Back post right is beyond me.

I edited the crap outta it and it still doesn't make sense and, of course, way to many Fuck words.

Watch or don't.

Thanx to you lovely Plonkers for visiting and following my blog during the A to Z Blog Challenge.

Don't forget to pop in on Tuesday for the relaunch of Caption My Freaky Photo Competition.

Have an brilliant weekend, my lovelies.

Friday's Shoegasm

2013-05-03T06:03:00.001+02:00

TGIF Plonkity Plonkers.

Even with the holiday in the middle of the week, it still feels like this week was the longest in creation. I guess being uber busy at work didn't help.

All work and no play makes A Daft Scots Lass a very dull lass.

Anyhoozer, I've decide to revive the Friday's Shoegasm and share a few of my favourite pairs of heels with y'all (as they say in Texas). If you share a love for heels like I do, leave a comment and link up your favourite pair of heels and I'll come and visit them.

Time to drool, as I'm featuring the one and only, shoe designer extraordinaire and completely shoe daft - da-da-daaaah

Mr Christian Red-Bottom Louboutin

Nude and Gold Mesh Trim Pumps

Black Mesh Peep Toes. Gorgeous!!!

Daffodile

These have my name splashed all over them.

I may just give my pinkie finger for a pair of these oh-so-pretty peep toes

Perfect for A Daft Scots Lass

Have a brilliant weekend everyone and don't forget to come back on Tuesday for Caption my daft Photo Competition.

You could stand a chance to win one of my awesome-possum Custom Tattoos. Oh... and I KNOW you want one.

Take a Tour of Jack White's Third Man Records

2013-05-02T05:00:00.000+02:00

Most of you lovely Plonkers know that I am a HUGE Jack White fan. The understatement of the decade actually because I'm obsessed.

I scour the interwebs daily for pictures, videos and any information I can get on him in The White Stripes, The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. His solo career has been pretty awesome too; playing on tour with both his all-female band - The Peacocks and his all-male band - The Buzzards and his ridiculously brilliant record company and label Third Man Records.

I share all my links about him on Twitter, I follow fellow fans on Instagram and have him on my Google Alerts so I don't miss a snippet of information about him and what he's up to.

Just wish I could get my hands on some of his merchandise without having to pay the exorbitant postage fees to South Africa.

Oh I know, I get a lot of flack for being a 40 year old with a major crush on a rock star, guitar genius, musician and businessman.

How Animals Eat

2013-05-01T08:02:00.000+02:00

Well, lovely Plonkers, the A to Z Blog Challenge has come to an abrupt end. It has been a brilliant ride for me this year because I prepared and scheduled posts in advance. I got to visit hundreds of awesome blogs and followed a few whacky whoppers.

And with that chapter concluded, we resume normal broadcasting...well, as normal as this wee blog gets.

This video had me in stitches. I actually watched it half a dozen times at work until the tears were running down my face and I had no mascara left. Everyone came into my office to see what I was chuckling at and so I had to watch it another half a dozen times.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do...

and then there were bloopers too and everyone knows how much I love bloopers

Happy Workers Day [blogging from bed].

Z is for Zebadeed

2013-04-30T05:00:00.000+02:00

So, Here We Are, my lovely Plonkers - The last day of the A to Z Blog Challenge.

I actually can't believe its gone so quickly and that I made it without hard drugs or bursting a major fekkin blood vessel.

"Zebadeed"

Pronounciation : zeb-a-deed

Definition : High on drugs.

Usage : Big Tam wiz mad wi it last night, pur zebadeed it wiz brilliant.

Translation : I'm just back from my holidays in Jamaica. The beach was full of lazy niggers sitting under palm trees high on drugs and the hotel was full of fat Americans who would trample on kids just to get to the buffet. I was keen not to be stereotyped like them so I put my kilt on and just sat at the bar for two weeks totally pissed.

There is no place in Scotland beginning with the letter Z but this is a fucking brilliant opportunity to allow me to play some Zeppelin.

Rock On.

Y is for Yonks

2013-04-29T05:00:00.000+02:00

"Yonks"

Pronounciation : yon-ks

Definition : n. An extremely long time.

Usage : Ah huvnae seen ma maw fir yonks. Remember yon time she lent me the two hunner quid?

Translation : Whilst some of the material on here is topical and clever, there are far too many idiots with half a brain posting racist material. As a woman of Asian descent, some of these "jokes" offend me long time.

Yetholm is a village in the Scottish Borders region of Scotland, 8 miles south east of Kelso and less than 1 mile west of the border. The first mention is of its church in the 13th century. The Border Hotel public house is the official end of the Pennine Way. Kirk Yetholm was for centuries the headquarters of the Romani people (Gypsies) in Scotland. The last king of the Gypsies was crowned in 1898 and the Gypsies have been integrated and are no longer a separate ethnic minority. A memorial stone can be found on the village green.

Yetholm

The infamous and wickedly funny Rikki Fulton

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-04-28T22:30:00.000+02:00

This week I was asked by Xmas Dolly to make a Guest Appearance for "Bring a Friend" Day.

Previously, I religiously took part in Monday Music Moves Me linky, but since the A to Z Blog Challenge and my wee blog hiatus, I haven't managed to do it. Oh, it doesn't mean I've run out of music to share with all you lovely Plonkers - it just means I needed a wee break.

However, I couldn't pass up the chance of sharing Jake Bugg with you all. He's a 19 year old indie folk artist and has been compared to the likes of The Great Bob Dylan. His debut album came out in October last year, his music is fresh and really gets my foot tapping.

Enjoy.

Metallica Rocked!

2013-04-28T09:52:00.003+02:00

My feet ache, my body hurts, I am hoarse from screaming and my neck is stiff. The Metallica Concert at Soccer City in Johannesburg was fucking brilliant!

So many metal heads in one place. I am now officially a member of the MetFamily.

My Sis and I rockin it
40 000 people banging their heads.

X is for X-Burd

2013-04-27T05:00:00.000+02:00

"X-Burd"

Pronunciation : ex-burd

Definition : Scottish slang for ex-girlfriend. A burd is your bird aka your girlfriend. The girl you used to go out with. An "ex" means you have broken up and are no longer dating.

Usage : 'Phwoar, you shudda seen the chebs on ma ex-burd! She was right fit!

Translation : My ex-girlfriends boobs aren't small but they would be pointless without nipples

X-House aka Crosshouse is a village in East Ayrshire about 2 miles west of Kilmarnock. It grew around the cross-roads of the main Kilmarnock to Irvine road, running from Kilmaurs south to Gatehead and beyond towards Prestwick. The Carmel Water, a tributary of the River Irvine, flows through the centre of the village. The village is the location of a major hospital, Crosshouse Hospital, which was built to replace the Kilmarnock Infirmary.

X-House aka Crosshouse

So I gave the guys something to drool over in this post, here's something for the girls (as promised).

W is for Wallies

2013-04-26T05:00:00.000+02:00

"Wallies"

Pronounciation : wa-lees

Definition : Scottish slang for False Teeth.

Usage : Ma gran sez ahl get granpaw’s wallies when he pegs-oot.

Translation : My grammar sucks. Specially when she's not got her false teeth in.

Wigtownshire or the County of Wigtown is a registration county in Galloway in the Southern Uplands of south west Scotland. Home to Garthland Castle, Castle of St. John and Wigtown Castle. Torehousekie Stone Circle dates from the 2nd millennium BC, this is one of the best preserved sites in Britain. The circle is approx. 60 feet in diameter and comprises 19 stones up to 5 feet high.

Wigtownshire

V is for Vino Collapso

2013-04-25T02:00:00.000+02:00

"Vino Collapso"

Pronunciation : veen-o-col-ap-so

Definition : A term for the various makes of cheap wine aka Plonk.

Usage : Feksake, ma heid's nippin this moarnin, shoulda eased up oan the auld vino collapso doon the pub".

Translation : Wine is sunlight, held together by water. Whether wine is a nourishment, medicine or poison is a matter of dosage.

Vatersay is an inhabited island in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland. Vatersay is also the name of the only village on the island. The island has remains of an Iron Age broch at Dun a' Chaolais overlooking the Sound of Vatersay and nearby is a passage grave dated to the 3rd millennium BC. There is also a Bronze Age cemetery at Treasabhaig south of the heights of Theiseabhal Mòr and a cairn built circa 1000 BC west of the village of Vatersay. The offshore islet of Biruaslum has a walled fort that may be of Neolithic provenance.

Vatersay Stone

U is for Up yer arse

2013-04-24T04:30:00.000+02:00

"Up yer Arse"

Pronunciation : up-yer-ar-s

Definition : To tell another person that you don't agree with their opinion, usually a shouted response to an insult. Similar to up yours but a wee bitty stronger.

Usage: Geeza hon wi' ma bagpipes or I'll stick 'em up yer fucking arse.

Translation : To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on;" fuck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "fuck her up the arse."

Ullapool is a small town of around 1,300 inhabitants in Ross and Cromarty, Highland, Scotland. Despite its small size it is the largest settlement for many miles around and a major tourist destination of Scotland. The harbour is still the edge of the village, used as a fishing port, yachting haven, and ferry port. Ferries sail to Stornoway in the Outer Hebrides. Ullapool has a strong reputation as a centre for music, the arts and performance.

Ullapool

[A Daft Scots Lass]

Caption My Photo Competition #3

Monday Music Moves Me

And The Winner Is....

Friday's Shoegasm Heels2Heaven

And We'll Go Up, Up, UP.

Caption My Photo Competition #2

Monday Music Moves Me

Walkin in Heels *Vloggity Vlog*

And The Winner Is

Friday's Shoegasm

Caption My Freaky Photo Competition Re-Launch

TlhIngan maH!

Blog Award from Jo

My 2013 A to Z Blog Challenge Reflections Post

Friday's Shoegasm

Take a Tour of Jack White's Third Man Records

How Animals Eat

Z is for Zebadeed

Y is for Yonks

Monday Music Moves Me

Metallica Rocked!

X is for X-Burd

W is for Wallies

V is for Vino Collapso

U is for Up yer arse

Walkin in Heels Vloggity Vlog