[A Daft Scots Lass]

Caption my Photo Competition #7

2013-06-19T02:00:00.000+02:00

Firstly, Happy Birthday Day to Me.

I'm 29...

...again.

Last year at my Superheros Birthday Party

Erm, I mean, 39...well, 39 plus a wee bit. Oh okay....I'm an old fart and will NOT divulge my real age. This year is nothing special. There will be no huge party or celebration. I have to go to parent's evening on my birthday this year.

Good Times.

Moving along...

Kellie over at Delightfully Ludicrous sent me the most awesome email the other day.

Kellie

You see, Kellie won one Caption my Photo Competition #2 and I sent her a couple of my brilliant Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoos.

Kellie is so soopa sassy, because sent me a magical pic of her wearing my awesome ink. It doesn't get better than that. A perfect birthday prezzie, Kellie [except a pair of Christian Louboutins, of course].

Thanx again, Kellie.

Now back to Caption my Photo Competition #7

This image made me giggle even before you lovely Plonkers have written a clever caption.

So, knock yerself out writing a funny caption for this one.

Family Day...

2013-06-18T13:33:00.000+02:00

With my birthday coming up tomorrow, we rounded up the family and had lunch at my sister's place. It was great to have everyone together!

Dylan (my nephew) and Megan

A Daft Scots Lass, her Boerewors, Mick and up-side-down Roman

Roman and my big sister, Janie. In the back, Claire and Megan

Roman and Kaylin

Mick and Roman

A Daft Scots Lass and her Boerewors

Janie and Roman

Roman, Megan and Mick

Sisters : Janie and A Daft Scots Lass

Cheers - lunch is served

Kaylin and Roman

The wee ones

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

2013-06-15T17:20:00.001+02:00

Thank you for playing Caption my Photo Competition each week Plonkers. You have no idea how many smiles and giggles I get out of your comments and captions.

Keep it Up! You Lovelies Rock my Face Off

This week's winner is

Alex J. Cavanaugh

He captions this clever whooper. Go visit is Epic Blog.

One wrong move on that unicycle and he'll become a unich.

Friday's Shoegasm

2013-06-14T01:30:00.000+02:00

Happy Friday everyone!

I've had a ~~busy~~ shite week and I must admit I've been really lazy when it came to blog posts this week. I won't apologize profusely like other blogger Plonkers would do, I won't make excuses about why I haven't posted, or how much other stuff I've had to do.

You see, its ~~winter~~ fucking freezing here in South Africa, [and I kinda hibernate during winter] and slide into a fair to mild depression. It's gonna take take until October until my nipples thaw out.

So, I need more chocolate and shoes than usual - anything that will make me feel better. It's actually kinda ironic that June month is my birthday month and my ~~hubby~~ Boerewors was kind enough to order me a gorgeous pair of Christian Louboutin knock-offs from the states. I can't wait until they arrive - it will make this winter bearable.

Now on to Friday's Shoegasms

Gorgeous Gold Pumps

Jessica Rabbit Heels

Pretty Mint Heels with Bows

Roberto Cavalli

Christian Louboutins

Lace Heels

Caption my Photo Competition #6

2013-06-11T09:09:00.000+02:00

Happy Toozday, my Lovely Plonkers.

I'm so looking forward to you guys concocting a caption for this whopper! So, leave a caption in the comments section below, and you could win an awesome Daft Scots Lass tattoo all the way from South Africa.

Oh I know you want it, you can't resist, right?

Don't forget to email me at adaftlass@gmail[dot]com if you want to advertise your business for free on my blog.

So You Think You Can Vlog?

2013-06-09T19:14:00.000+02:00

The Answers to all your burning questions...

Here they are...

And The Winner Is...

2013-06-08T14:34:00.001+02:00

And The Winner of this week's Caption My Photo Competition is YeamieWaffles from Spit your Pity. Matt captioned

I wouldn't mind getting third base with ALL of these girls

Stand by for Questions and Answers Vlog tomorrow. Remember to leave a question for me HERE (if you haven't already)

Fawk You Friday and a Shoegasm

2013-06-07T04:00:00.000+02:00

Hey, My Lovely Plonkers

TGIF

Fawk You Friday used to be hosted by a sassy blogger called Boobies but she doesn't rock that shizzle anymore, but I figured I'd nick it from her and revive it this week.

So there's no link up, just A Daft Scots Lass venting on her wee soap box again.

What's new?

Fuck you to the Doochenozzle who tried to sneak in a computer virus through my email. Have you Fuckers got nothing better to do? Who sits behind their computer all day scheming and bugs to to piss on everyone’s battery?

Fuck you to the last dirty strip of dirty that never wants to go into the dustpan.

To a certain bright spark at the office (I will refrain from mentioning names) but "You're a cock and a fuck-up. Any further complaints can be directed toward my fucking arse, where I'm sure you'll receive a warm response".

Fuck you to only 5 comments on this week’s Caption my Photo Competition. *major huffing noises*

Fuckity Fuck You to the asswipe producers of The Big Bang Theory. Its season break again?! Do you Plonkers only work half the year? Don’t you know that I need my weekly Sheldon/Leonard fix otherwise my hubby says I go all Peri-menopausal Rage on his ass. I want to hear Amy play the harp again!

Most of you won't understand these, but it's okay. I'm confident it will be extended to the intended targets.

And now some drool-worthy heels to put a sparkle back in my eye. Enjoy.

Skull flats - adorable

Bazinga - The Big Bang Theory Shoes

Pretty Flats with Candy Striped Bows

Furry Red and White Christian Louboutins

Skulls

Red Peep Toes with Houndstooth Platform and buckle detail

Remember to leave a Question for me HERE so that I can do a Q&A Vlog this weekend.

Whacky Wednesday Photo Bombs

2013-06-05T06:30:00.000+02:00

Donchya just LOVE brilliant Photo Bombers? They will ceaselessly make me grin...Njoy.

Dude! There is something dead to the world in yer backpack?

Snuffles was simply living up to his name

Scooby D....double D? Photo Bomb

Extend the friendship (she actually looks a bit like Eva Longoria)

Obama: Two Thongs do not make a Tights

Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just happy to Photo Bomb me?

Macklemore gets an unexpected dangled Photo bomber

Don't forget to go and leave me a question for this weekend's Vlog and
enter Caption my Daft Photo Competition

Caption My Daft Photo Competition #5

2013-06-04T11:49:00.000+02:00

Its Toozday, which means its time to get your grey matter churning and concoct a witty and thigh-slappingly funny caption to my daft photo.

Who knows, you could win a brilliant wee something from me. Speaking of the "wee somethings", I'm wondering if the previous three winners have received their snail mail from me?

If so, let me know. Pop me a mail at adaftlass@gmail.com

Here's this week's daft photo to caption.

Go

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-06-03T05:30:00.000+02:00

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme is "Cover Songs". Go Visit Xmas Dolly and link up your favourite covers.

I will start off with I'm Shakin' by Little Willie John

and now the brilliant Jack White's version

Can you guess which one I like best??

The awesome Son House performing Death Letter

Jack & Meg White - The White Stripes - performing the same song

And now some awesome Robert Johnson with Kind Hearted Woman Blues

and then Eric Clapton doing the same song 67 years later

Remember to go and leave a Question for my Answers Vlog. You know you wanna!

Questions and Answers

2013-06-02T11:52:00.000+02:00

Oh, I know I've done this before, but its been a while since my last vlog. My other Questions and Answers vlog went a wee bit something like this.

So, I thought instead of just rambling on about useless drivel (like I normally would do), I would throw it back at you.

Ask me questions and I'll answer them in a vlog next week.

I know there are things you've been dying to ask me.

So, ready? Go!

And The Winner Is...

2013-06-02T09:08:00.003+02:00

And the winner of this week's Caption my Photo Competition is

Bumferry Hogart

Here is what he captioned...

"BARRY!?!?! I thought you said you fixed that bloody leak!"

Now go and read his epic blog post on The Awesomeness of Custard Cremes over at Thoughtless Gibberish.

It's....

Legend....wait for it....dary.

His post made me giggle out loud, my cheeks hurt and created a pressing necessity to evacuate my feeble bladder.

Make sure you visit my place again on Tuesday for another installment of Caption my Freaky Photo Competition.

Heart yer faces off, Plonkers.

Out.

10 Things I Learned Recently

2013-06-01T08:12:00.000+02:00

Happy June, my lovely Plonkers

Welcome to my birthday month! It's gonna be a goodie, I can feel it in my 40 year old bones [feel free to send expensive gifts and cash, I really do have to finish my tattoo sleeve].

Daffy Duck sung it best in this episode

And when in doubt try a briefcase full of money...and not on to the actual post....

1. The Movie 21 and Over made me giggle like an old whore who found a ribbed cucumber.

2. Being a Study Buddy to a ten year old can be both fun and frustrating. Who knew the Life Cycle of Water could be learned in song? Just call me... Super-Mum!

3. It's better to do one thing really, really well than putting you're finger in too many pies.

3. Never underestimate the power and instantaneousness of Google.

4. I'm loving the series Mrs Brown's Boys. Its fekkin' hilarious. Do you think its appropriate for my 7 year old to be watching??

5. I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. I shite you not. Everything is either boiled or deep fried. Everything tastes like slippery cardboard.

6. I've become addicted to The Royal Bump Watch. Kate Middleton is such a cute preggie Mum-to-Be.

7. Anything that comes in a can and has an expiry date one year later, can NOT be good for you.

8. It's not what you say, it's what you do.

9. Wearing my favourite perfume makes me feel confident and sexy.

10. No steel or wooden stake can pierce the human heart so chillingly as a full stop at the right moment.

Friday's Shoegasm

2013-05-31T09:19:00.000+02:00

Happy Friday, Pretty Plonkers, and I'm at home full of the flu....

For Friday's Shoegasm this week, I thought I'd go with a little Pinup Girl theme.

Some of these puppies are really pretty heels that I'd love to own.

Well, my birthday is coming up next month...

Adore the Bows

Dead Cute

Nautical Stripes

Cherry Platforms

Love love LOVE these!

Adorable Colours

Too cute with jeans

Get Healthy Blog Hop

2013-05-29T03:30:00.000+02:00

Stephen Tremp, L. Diane Wolfe, Michael Di Gesu, and Ninjalex aka Alex J. Cavanaugh have teamed up for a Blog Hop that focuses on health. This is an issue with many bloggers who have expressed gaining weight over the holidays and other negative health issues that they are dealing with.

Get Healthy Blog Hop;s Objective: to share with everyone something you have done that affected your health in a positive way

Some of you lovely Plonkers know that I started The Dukan Diet in January 2012. The reason I started the diet was because I had quit smoking the year before and, in the process substituted my sucking on cancer sticks, for shoving junk in my face and picked up 13kg.

On Boxing Day 2011, this "Before" picture was taken of me in the pool and I took one look at the picture and knew I was officially a FAT CHICK.

Look, I see abs!

I hated the picture, I hated my fat arse, I detested my thick thighs and tummy rolls. Fuck! I had more chins than a fucking Chinese telephone directory.

I decided then and there to get on to the internet, find myself a healthy eating programme and set myself some achievable goals.

I chose the Dukan Diet because I didn't have to weigh or measure any portions. I have a pretty busy lifestyle as a working mum, so I knew I needed to choose an eating plan that I would be able to stick to.

My goal was to loose 10kg before my 40th birthday in June 2012. I gave myself six months to loose 10kg. That was certainly "doable". I joined the gym and exercised at least 3 to 4 times a week.

On the 2nd of January 2012, I began The Attack Phase and in the first week I lost 2.8kg (6.2 pounds). I was so happy and I felt great! I had tons of energy and I moved on to The Cruise Phase.

After 44 Days, I had lost a total of 9kg, which is just under 20lbs.

After 3 months I had lost a total of 13kg (just over 2 stone).

I have kept the weight off by weighing myself everyday and if I do fall off the wagon and pick up a little, I get back on to the Attack Phase. I must say its easier to maintain the weight loss if I'm exercising.

Feel free to ask any questions or leave a comment regarding the Dukan Diet. I love to encourage and share knowledge about this awesome eating plan.

Caption my Photo Competition #4

2013-05-28T08:24:00.000+02:00

It's Toozday.

Caption That, Bitches

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-05-27T03:30:00.000+02:00

Happy Monday. Its my day off so I'm not going to say much....I'll be underneath my cashmere blanket, watching telly and having some "me time".

And The Winner Is...

2013-05-25T17:37:00.000+02:00

And The Winner of this week's

Caption my Photo Competition is :

grins

That daft Plonker made me giggle like a wee lass. He be mad hilarious, now go visit his blog. Here's what he captioned.

"Bad time to run out of peanut butter"

Now, email me at adaftlass@gmail.com with your mailing address and I'll be sending you a wee something.

Friday's Shoegasm

2013-05-24T05:00:00.000+02:00

Happy Friday, Bitches!

I can't tell you how shitfaced happy I am that it's weekend, baby.

My spirited seven year old has been giving me grey hair and a possible aneurysm because we weaned her off some of her ODD/OCD meds three weeks ago. We have now realised why we put her on the meds in the first place! She's been irritable, completely impossible and has the focus and concentration of a fucking goldfish.

We've had a battlefield-of-a-household this week. I've been bashing heads with Kaylin non-stop, yelling like a ginger banshee and literally foaming at the mouth at times. Naughty corner was working overtime. Oh.... its been oh-so-pretty!

On top of that, Megan started her 2nd term exams and I've been Chief Study Buddy. A whole other stress on its own...learning what preposition, pronouns, common nouns, synonyms, antonyms, abstract nouns, all over again in a second language - Afrikaans.

Next week is Natural Sciences, Maths and Social Sciences.

Happy Days!

It's been an emotional meltdown of a week. I wish I could just run away for a week, hide under a fuzzy cashmere blankie in my jammies, live on hot chocolate and beef crisps. Not have to talk or see anyone or brush my hair. Blissful alone time to recharge my battery, press my reset button and reboot my brain.

Yeah....like that's gonna happen. A girl can dream, right?

Right now that I've Bitched good and hard, here are some pretty things too drool over....

Mint Platform Peep Toe

Pink Ballet Pumps with lace and bow detail. Too fucking cute.

Perfect for Summer! Red Checked Platforms with Watermelon soles

Red Skull Platforms with Ankle strap and bow detail. I adore the stripey in-soles

Christian Louboutin Jaws Platforms. Swoon...

Nautical inspired black patent flats with anchor and heart detail by Mosschino

Caption My Photo Competition #3

2013-05-21T05:00:00.000+02:00

Happy Toozday, my beautiful Plonkers.

Over the weekend, I took the dogs for a walk. One of the leashes got tangled around my ankles and I fell with all my weight on my pinkie finger (and I ain't a small lass).

It fucking hurt like a Bitch!

I was sobbing, bleeding and my hand started bruising and swelling immediately. I thought I'd broken my hand or at least my finger, because the pain was so bad. I didn't go the the emergency room immediately because my youngest lass had a play date with a friend and I figured if the swelling hadn't gone down by the time KK's playmate had gone home, I'd go to the ER.

The swelling hadn't subsided, even though I'd kept it elevated and soaked it in cold water for a half an hour or so. I decided 2 hours after the accident to take myself off to the ER to make sure I hadn't broken anything. The pain was still quite bad.

Three xrays later and no fractures, it was just a bad sprain. They cleaned out the wound (FUCKING Ouch!) and the doctor said it wouldn't need a stitch if I looked after it. So, back home 2 hours later with pain killers and my medical insurance cringing.

Leaving the hospital the parking guy said "Six Rand, please". I said "Six Rand?! Daylight robbery!". He said "Nah, its cheap". I said "Yeah, cheaper than in there!" pointing to the Emergency Room.

Now back to the Competition?

Caption this whacky image and win a brilliant Daft Scots Lass temporary tattoo.

Monday Music Moves Me

2013-05-20T06:00:00.000+02:00

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme is "Summer". Ironic because its heading quickly into winter here in South Africa, much to my displeasure.

Go Visit Xmas Dolly and link up your favourite toonz.

My Dad used to play this 45" over and over. Its been etched in my memory forever. Eddie Cochran...

The beautiful Nora Jones

A Great film full of brilliant songs.

A very catchy song and naughty music video (you should check out the uncensored one!)

Some Zepp

And The Winner Is....

2013-05-18T16:12:00.000+02:00

Congratulations to this week's lucky winner

Kellie over at Delightfully Ludicrous.

Here's what she captioned:

The job was hard, the hours gruelling ... but the perks were second to none!

Kelly, email me your mailing address to adaftlass@gmail.com and I'll be sending you a wee something from me. Thanks to everyone who commented and left a caption. You lovely Plonkers rock my fekking face off.

Friday's Shoegasm Heels2Heaven

2013-05-17T05:00:00.000+02:00

Hey Beautiful Plonkers.

Thank Fuck is Friday!

It has been an eventful week and what better way to celebrate its closure with some gorgeous sexy and alternative shoes from Heels2Heaven

Go check out their website. Their prices are pretty reasonable considering their uniqueness.

Nude Cheery Peep Toe Sling Backs

Anchor Sailor Peep Toe with Bow Detail

Cutie Pie Retro Black and White Polka Dot with Red Bow Detail

Navy Bettie Retro Sling Back and Peep Toe

Cordelia Paisley Print Heels with Arch Strap

Geometric Print Black and White Zombie Peep Toe Heels

Tartan Fabric Print Heels with Strap

Have an awesome weekend. I've been asked to do some voice-over work for a company based in the States I guess someone likes my accent after all :-)

And We'll Go Up, Up, UP.

2013-05-15T06:30:00.002+02:00

I came across this on SlydesBlog and thought I'd share Zach's story with you because it touched my heart and so many others on YouTube.

A brilliant song and talented artist.

Here were all his video responses!

Zach you are an inspiration to everyone!

Don't forget to go Caption my Photo Competition.