Men Romance and Survival

All is well! No changes! Yea!

2016-11-18T11:11:00.001-06:00

Admittedly, I haven't kept up on my blogging. For those possibly wondering, there's been no changes in my condition. That's the really good news! No new lesions, no growth as my condition is stable.

As far the psychopath that was in my life 6 years ago, I'm sure there's been no changes. He's likely just as focused on himself as he ever was and his current victim is likely quite miserable. That's her problem. These people never change as their brains are hardwired wrong. He's as big a phony as he ever was. I don't keep up on him, nor do have I any interest in doing so.

At 71+, the old devil is surely not long for this world with his diabetes and cardiovascular disease, but even if he was, it's of no consequence to me. My life is full with love and family.

His flying monkey minions are welcome to him! Have a great day!

The Journey Begins

2016-04-06T09:37:00.001-05:00

It is true! Most people who have not experienced cancer themselves or don't have a loved one with it, know very little about cancer. Why should we? We feel no need to know when we're ok.

My journey with cancer began when I'd bought some new bras, and was trying them on after I got home. Smoothing the bra down around my breasts, I was suddenly struck by something unusual - I felt a small hardness about the size of a pea on the right outer lower quadrant of my right breast. I panicked! Did I really feel that? Yes, I did! Fortunately, despite my denial of this reality I had an annual exam coming up soon, and an appointment for it was already made.

Quickly, it became the size of a grape, and then a walnut, then a golf ball. It turned out to be NON-cancerous papilloma. https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/have-i-got-breast-cancer/benign-breast-conditions/intraductal-papilloma.

But it flagged me as potentially having breast cancer since it is often a companion to it. The first needle core biopsy was negative, the second biopsy confirmed my cancer, as invasive ductal carcinoma, stage 1 at 8mm (about the size of a dime or your thumbnail).

They got it all they said. No spread! Yea! Nodes negative. I was in the clear or so I was told! 5+ years later, it had spread to my left iliac wing - stage 4 Advanced bone mets cancer. Who knew? Not me! Very little pain, and most of the time, I'm okay.; But for how long? The journey continues!

How Much Longer Do I Have?

2016-02-25T12:59:00.002-06:00

My how life changes and can turn on a dime! I used to read blogs and books on narcissism and psychopathy. These days, its blogs and forums on cancer. I'm learning so much. One of early mags I came across is located at:http://www.curetoday.com/. Tons of useful information!

It's hard not to wonder at times with Stage 4 bone mets (breast) cancer how much longer do I have? The answer is nobody knows! As long as it stays confined to my bones, I could last years and years with a high quality of life.

I've just been reading of long term survivors who have been living with it for 17, 12 and 23 years respectively. http://www.curetoday.com/…/hope-in-the-face-of-death-living…

That's pretty darn good IMO. I could live to the age of 90! Cool! I'm just ornery enough to do it too! LOL.

When my cancer journey began in 2010, I thought, well, let's whack that breast off, and get on with the business of living! Caught very early, (primary site was only about the size of a dime or your thumbnail @ 8mm.) All went well, and everything seemed very promising.

Then 5 years later, I found out nature was saying "Not so fast there! You're not done yet!" Okay. So let's see how it goes! I am intrigued by this new journey of bone mets (breast) cancer.

There are times now I could almost forget having cancer (Stage 4 Bone Mets)

2016-02-16T11:54:00.001-06:00

It's an amazing thing when it comes to my prognosis. There are times now I could almost forget having cancer (Stage 4 Bone Mets)... with my pain meds and the radiation therapy, I'm happy to say that most of the pain I earlier experienced is gone! I'm increasingly enjoying a normal life doing much as I did before all this.

I'm getting in and out of vehicles, off and on my bed with just a little discomfort here and there. I take care of myself on all my personal needs, going shopping, and enjoying the absence of pain! That's the big thing!

No longer relying on things like my walker, or cane, or my step stool quite as heavily as I used to do. Oh sometimes, yes, the cane and stool comes in handy, and I admit I rather like using the motorized carts in the grocery store to get around... but life is feeling rather good these days. For now, things seem to be stabilized and under control.

I do take comfort that I'm considered relatively low risk in the positive aspects of my having cancer...slow growing, localized, all vital organs still healthy and normal...but a great indicator of longevity is that there was a LONG period between my original breast cancer diagnosis at 5+ years and the diagnosis of bone mets cancer. Outstanding!

Not much to tell, and that's a very good thing! Hope all is well with you too!

Life Can turn on a Dime! From Good Health To Dealing With Cancer!

2016-01-05T17:56:00.000-06:00

No time or energy to be wasting either thinking about the ever shallow and boring Psycho Boy, especially with a much better man in my life and a family to care for. Or dealing with one of those unexpected curve balls life has a way of throwing your way when you least expect it.

Recently hospitalized and diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer - you come face to face with your own mortality and realize how fast life can turn on a dime. But sometimes good things happen too!

GOOD NEWS! Now that all the tests have been completed and analyzed, there are some very good aspects of it that leave something to smile about and even celebrate!

First and foremost: The Tumor is SLOW-GROWING AND LOCALIZED. No vital organs are involved, all are healthy and functioning! Outlook looks good.

It is a metastasized breast cancer lesion that has NOT SPREAD! What it is, a failure of the arimidex (anastrozole) I was on for 5 years. I developed an immunity to the drug, so the mets (metastasized) breast cancer cells grew undetected for 5 years. New meds, and there will be radiation treatments but NO CHEMO!

The radiation treatments will be to shrink the tumor and restore mobility to me as well as reducing pain. So, it looks like at this writing, I'll be around for quite a while yet. Cheers Everybody!

Days of Wonder - Days of Pain!

2015-12-19T22:52:00.000-06:00

CANCER OR NOT? Thank you everyone for the all the good wishes. So what's the story? you might be wondering. Wednesday afternoon after leaving HQ, I was suddenly gripped by acute and severe hip pain to the point, I could barely walk with great difficulty.

I finally got home, called my doctor's office, and spoke with his nurse. At first she suggested going to their Urgent Care unit. But suddenly the pain was so bad, I burst out bawling like a baby from the pain.

Then she said I should go to the Emergency unit at the local hospital where they have all the necessary equipment. At first, I thought maybe i had pulled a groin muscle or something simple. I never imagined what was to come!

They sent me for a skeletal xray and a CAT scan. To my surprise, they saw a large irregular mass over my left hip area, and admitted me for further testing. A doctor came in and advised me that it looked like what I'd been thinking!

That being a Stage 4 metastatic 5 cm tumor over my hip bone which totally blew me away! CANCER! I have a high aptitude for the medical sciences, so I was plenty scared! (This after just after recently celebrating my 5 year survivorship from early breast cancer. Everything had been going really good for me and I was living a normal life!

They did a PET scan after that, and a more detailed skeletal scan from head to toe, with a biopsy also scheduled. The PET showed, that the tumor was localized and restricted to my hip groin area....there was no evidence of spread, and all my organs were clean, and normal! I see this as significant that such a large tumor had not invaded any organs indicating possible benign (meaning NO CANCER!) I'm hoping anyway! YEA!

Yesterday, they were finally able to get me in for the biopsy. Not just one sample was taken, but several, and it was painful despite sedation! Results are not expected until later on next week. (After Christmas). So, now I have several days ahead of virtual uncertainly. Is it or is it not cancer? Stay tuned! You now know as much as I do! I am cautiously optimistic!

It's Been A Rough Week, but I Made It - How About You?

Where I'm at now 5 years later!

2015-12-11T18:18:00.001-06:00

Greetings and Salutations to friends who have wondered what became of me. Hmm...well, I've been involved in life. I said about all I wanted to say on Men, Romance and Survival.

I originally started the blog to aid my own healing. I've done that. I've also beaten cancer and I'm expected to live a full life span! I couldn't ask for a better prognosis.

Truth be told, I don't hate the psychopath. I'm not sure I ever did. Yes, I was angry and hurt with his cruel abuses towards me. But I'm over that now. Life goes on as they say.

It's been nearly 5 years since, and I'm better than ever! Losing him was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. My heart is full of gratitude that things worked as they did! That's the truth!

So many great writers have since started their own blogs on the disordered. I am happy to leave the stage, and let them have their day in the sun! I don't read them as avidly as I once did, as I've gone back to old interests and proclivities. Gardening, politics, human rights issues. etc. I'm so active!

In the last few years, life has been good to me. I am currently involved with a non-sociopathic man who is six years younger than the psychopath I was formerly with. What is there not to say? He's younger, better looking, potent in bed (unlike psycho boy!). <bg>. He adores his family and ME!

Unlike psycho boy, he does not rely on a woman to keep him up in the world. Sadly for her, she had to give him plenty of goodies to keep him. (Something I'd never do!) He is now co-owner and trustee of half her financial assets. Contrary to what he has told his minions, there is no marriage, and never was. Just a shack up job with her paying a heavy price for having him in her life.

I pity that poor soul. I know his minions don't want to hear the truth about him, and that's okay with me. I'm off busy leading my own very normal life, and delighted with how it's turned out!

My new or old guy if you like, Jerry, (who is 3 years younger than me) owns his own farm in the country. We grew up as children together, then were teenage sweethearts! I'll never forget taking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance when I was in Junior High many years ago. It was magical then, and it's magical now! Who knew? We go together like peas & carrots!

Eventually, we went our own ways, met other people, had families, and now we have come full circle. Both of us widowed, I reached out to him expressing my sympathy when his spouse died, then he found me on Facebook, after that, we connected as friends again.

Those old feelings are once again rising to the surface! There's a lot of love and romance in the air here! He treats me well, like a lady. He's always the gentleman, and pampers me! Wow!

There's more than this as amazing as it is, I've found myself again. I'm heavily involved in politics, and human rights issues. I love doing my own cooking and gardening. I help people as well, and found my niche in the world. Life is good!

So, if you are suffering from narcissistic abuse from from a psycho/sociopath, know that there is an end to it. You can live very well without them. There is hope! Psycho boy only exists as a faded memory for me now. Most of the time, he is far from my thoughts. I know he's as shallow, manipulative and self-serving as he always was.

But you know what? I don't care! He's not my problem anymore. He's hers (my replacement)! I am not responsible for what happens to her, and I certainly don't care about him! One day, at 70, soon to be 71 in a couple of months or so, he will pass away. Then he will become a faded memory for all who knew him.

He's in my past now, where he belongs. I look forward to my future with Jerry. I wish everyone well, health and much happiness. God bless you all!