Prahaasa

God's Address !

noreply@blogger.com (Pradeep) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 07:29:00 +0000

What is God's Address?? But first,

Eye Specialist: Read the letters on that wall.
Patient: What wall!! which wall, Doctor!!

>> The phone was ringing. The wife picks it up, & after a second, comes angrily to her husband>>
Wife: Who the hell is Rosie?!
Husband: That's.. that's.. err.. my Boss's pet dog!! Why do you ask?!
Wife: Well!! your boss's pet dog has called. It wants to speak with you!!

Husband: What is the problem with you?! You keep on replying "wrong number!!" to every phone call recently!
Wife: They were calls from the people who gave you loans!! Shall I give you the receiver the next time someone calls??

Mother: I will give you a brand new 10 rupee note if you behave properly!!
Son: I don't want the new note, but you can give me an old 50 or 100 rupee note.

(At a bus stop, a man who had an habit of teasing women)
The Man: Madam, I think I have seen you somewhere..
Woman: Oh!! I remember where I have seen you!! I am a nurse in a mental hospital & that is where I saw you & keep seeing persons like you. But those who get discharged don't behave this way. When did you escape??!!

A famous singer was sitting in a sorrowful mood.
Someone: Why, sir!! are you sad??
Singer: Today two elderly persons at the music function asked me whether I knew to sing
Someone: It was an ordinary crowd, not knowing much about music & singing, why do you worry??
Singer: It was not before, but after the programme!!

Sati Savitri>> A drama, Sati Savitri was going on in a college.
In the play, Satyavan & Savitri in the forest, were tired & came under a tree. Savitri sat under the tree & Satyavan said, "Oh dear! I am very tired and have a severe headache" & slept on her lap.
The actress playing Savitri forgot that they were acting in a play, and shouted, "How many times should I tell you not to lie on my lap!!", pushing him away, "see, how my parents and the rest of the college is staring at us!! Fool!! Don't you have any shame??!!"

And Finally,
God's Address>> A lame beggar was begging in front of a temple, "In the name of god..." He used to get 1 rupee, 50 paise, 25 paise only. From morning till evening, he made about 50 rupees.
In the evening, when he sat front of a bar, he started getting 10, 50.. rupee notes. He made more than 100 rupees within half an hour. He then prayed, "God, you have one address and you dwell at another!!"

That's all for now. Until next time... :)
- Prahaasa

Image credit : Face-espiegle.svg By Moi. (De mon disque dur.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

It's not good to talk while eating..

noreply@blogger.com (Pradeep) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 09:16:00 +0000

• Student: Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?
Teacher: No, of course not! Now why would I do such a thing?!
Student: Phew! That's a relief, I didn't do my homework.

• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at
work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

• Two old ladies were attending a function. One leaned over the other & whispered: My butt is going to sleep. 'I know,' replied the other, 'I heard it snore three times.

• A true love story:
Once upon a time a boy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
She replied: No!
.........
And the boy lived happily ever after..

• Kaamchor Khanna had a bad accident.
After examining him, the doctor said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you.
First of all, you'll never be able to work again."
Khanna replied, "Oh!, so what's the bad news?"

• As an inspirational measure, a boss placed a sign in the restroom directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: THINK
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at his sign, and right next to it,
above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign, which read: THOAP!

Mother of a girl: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Her Boyfriend: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter..
Customer: What's the meaning of this fly in my tea?
Waiter: I don't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

• A couple were dining out in a family bar & restaurant..
Wife: Do you see that guy in the bar? He has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
Husband: Stop joking!! No one celebrates that much..

• The Maths teacher came to the classroom to find, "The Maths teacher is a Brainless idiot", written on the board.
He was very angry & shouted, "Who is responsible for this?? Stand up! Or the whole class will have to bear the consequences!!"
The whole class fell silent for a minute, & a boy from the last bench slowly stood up & said, "It was me, sir. I am sorry"
The Maths teacher looked at him for a moment & said,
"Well, you told the truth. I forgive you.. Sit down"

• Once, when Boobanna was a small boy, he was having food with his father..
Boobanna: Father.. There is something I have to tell you..
Father: Not Now!! It's not good to talk while eating..
Boobanna: But..
Father: Dint you hear me?! I said NO!
Boobanna ate his food quietly. Then after their meal was over..
Father: Now tell me.. what is it you wanted to say..
Boobanna: All I had to say was that there was a dead cockroach in your food....

And finally,
• A husband, the owner of a new car, was reluctant to allow his wife to drive.... But the wife did not give up her demand, and the husband finally agreed, cautioning her as she started the engine, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"

Image Credits: 150px-Nuvola_apps_important.png from the Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x by David Vignoni
Source: http://www.icon-king.com

Where is god?

noreply@blogger.com (Pradeep) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 16:34:00 +0000

Boobanna: What is the height of stupidity?
Raamanna: Hmm... How tall are you?

Customer: Waiter! Waiter!! There's a fly in my soup..
Waiter: Don't worry Sir! The spider in your meal will get it..

Saint: Where is god?
Little Boobanna: In our bathroom, sir!
Saint: What nonsense! Who said that?
Little Boobanna: I did, sir! My father always stands before the bathroom and shouts, "Oh God! You are still in there.."

Teacher: What's the chemical formula for water?
Little Boobanna: "HIJKLMNO".
Teacher: What nonsense?!
Little Boobanna: You yourself said yesterday, that it's H to O!

Boobanna's Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossible to teach you anything!
Little Boobanna: That's why I always say, she's a useless teacher!

Little Boobanna: Dad, teacher asked me today whether I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.
Boobanna's Father: That's nice of her to take such an interest.
So what did she say when you told her you're the only child, son?
Boobanna: Nothing much.. She just said ... 'Thank goodness!'

Doctor: I've "bad news" and "very bad news" for you.
Patient: Well, better let me have the bad news first..
Doctor: The laboratory sent me your test results... And...
...They said.. You've only 24 hours to live..
Patient: What?! 24 hours! That's terrible, doctor!
What could be even worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday...

Police: Where the hell are you going at midnight?
Drunkard: I'm going to listen to a lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Police: Who will give such a lecture at midnight, and where?
Drunkard: My wife... At my house....

One: Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
Another: No! What happened?
One: He's now being harassed by the animal rights organization for being cruel to the crocodiles.

And, the last one for today,

Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

Image Credits:Icon_apps_query.svg Nuvola-like Icon created by Cary Bass

Is it really inauspicious if a cat crosses the street?!!

noreply@blogger.com (Pradeep) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:45:00 +0000

● Is it really inauspicious if a cat crosses the street?!!
>>It is true!! Only if you are a mouse.

● An advertisement read like this:Are you blind?! You can't see anything?! Can't read or write anything?! Then, join the Super school for the Blind today!!

Patient: What are my chances of survival?!
Doctor: Experts say that chances of survival in this operation is 1 out of 10!!, 9 have already died during this operation & you are the 10th one!! So, your chances of survival is 100%!!

Mental Doctor: Since when do you think that you are a dog?
Mental Patient: Since I was a puppy, sir!

Patient's Relatives: Doctor! Is the operation over?!
Doctor: Operation!!?!!?!! I thought that was a post mortem!!

Doctor: We have realized that we have left a scissor in your stomach & hence, you must be operated again!!
Patient: Why do you bother about a silly scissor?! Here, keep this money & buy yourself a new one!!

● The English teacher was testing his students.
Teacher: The questions asked by me shall be answered in English only. O.K. now, all of you must say your names in English on by one. Let's start with you..(pointing at the student in the first bench)
Sooryaprakash: My name is Sunlight!!
Jeevannath: My name is Lifeboy!!
Aakaashdeep: My name is Sky lamp!! ...

● Two astronomers, Jon & Jack at NASA felt like having some alcohol, but couldn't find any. Carried away by their lust to drink, they drank up the rocket fuel itself. Next morning, Jon got a call from Jack, saying, "Did you go to the lavatory(toilet) today morning?!" "No!! why do you ask?!", said Jon. "If you haven't, then don't even try to go!! I am calling from China!!"

● A man pushed his way through a crowded bus, pushed aside a poor fellow who had almost sat on the seat, & said with great pride, "I am the son of a lion!!" The poor fellow who lost the seat had to go standing for a very large distance. The hefty man "lion's son" who was sitting got down at his stop. As he was going away, the fellow who had lost his seat shouted through the window, "Did your mother go to the forest, or did the lion itself come to your house?!!"

● Three tourists met at an American bar, and got fully drunk..
Greek: During research excavations, we have found out telegraph lines which indicate that our ancient civilization was so advanced that they had telegrams.
Chinese: Ha!! that is nothing during our excavations, we have found out telephone lines, which means ancient China had telephone and they were much more advanced!!
Indian: That is nothing compared to what we Indians found out after excavations.
Greek & Chinese: Well what did you find out??
Indian: We found out nothing!! Don't laugh. That means that we had satellite communication in ancient India, which makes us the most advanced!!

Grandmother: Why are you making the child cry!! why don't you give it what it wants??
Mother: It's crying because I gave it what it wanted!!
Grandmother: What did it want??
Mother: Chilly powder!!

Image Credits: Nuvola_apps_package_toys.png Image from the Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x by David Vignoni Source: http://www.icon-king.com

Coming Soon!

noreply@blogger.com (Pradeep) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 17:03:00 +0000

Hi,

Prahaasa, coming soon with the best of jokes... in English. For Prahaasa in kannada, Click Here.