Before I continue, I’d like to say thanks for joining me today as we continue the conversation I started today on the P31 Encouragement for Today devotion.  If you haven’t read it yet, I hope you’ll stop over and take a look.

You probably know someone with this critical spirit I’m talking about. We all do.  It might even be you.  But you’re probably like me and want to eliminate that critical nature because you know how damaging it can be.

Being around a critical spirit wears you down, it eats away at your confidence nip by nip. And it’s also contagious. Maybe you’ve found yourself passing on what’s been given to you – not even meaning to. It’s such an easy habit to pick up, and yet so hard to let go.

Thankfully there is a way to deal with this infectious “disease.”  There’s nothing we can do about others, but we certainly can address it in our own lives.  Here are some steps to replace complaining with kindness.

1)  Identify the problem and confess it to the Lord.  You’ll feel better right away.

2)  Try to identify the root cause of the critical spirit.  It’s in there.  What “benefit” do you get by being critical?  Do you feel ever-so-slightly better about yourself because you’ve identified a flaw in others?  Do you think some people deserve to be put in their places?  Are you resentful that others have what you don’t? Do you hope people will be motivated to change based on your critical observations?  Sadly, most of those “benefits” aren’t healthy or true – only harmful to everyone.

3)  Once you’ve identified the root, start to work on that.  Most of us need God’s help to deal with these tough issues.  If root cause is insecurity, we need God’s truth to remind us of our value.  If the root is judgement and pride, we need God’s forgiveness and humility. If it’s resentment we need to be content.

4)  Fill your mind with truth.   The truth is we aren’t in competition with each other.  We are to build each other up in every way.  When that happens we all win.  To find some positive Scripture verses on encouraging one another or kindness, visit one of my favorite sites offering a topical Bible:  Click here.  Or do a word search on www.Biblegateway.com or www.Crosswalk.com.

5) Say nothing until you are confident it will be kind, gracious and loving. While you are being quiet, practice taking negative thoughts captive and replacing them with loving ones.

6)  Ask God to give you a heart of love, compassion, gratefulness and humility.  Once God starts working on your insides, you’ll find the critical thoughts happen less and less. And loving words are easier to speak.

Thanks so much for joining me today.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject.  If you are reading this in your inbox, please click here to be taken back to my blog to post a comment.  Please don’t hit reply as that only comes to me.  But I’ll be happy to say “hello” if you do. 

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

You might have a houseful of children … and still be lonely.

You might work in a high-rise … and still be lonely.

You might be married … and still be lonely.

Loneliness can strike at any time, in any situation a woman might experience.  Age, finances, employment, geography … none of this guarantees a life less lonely.

In fact, at P31, we believe loneliness is epidemic and continues to increase despite all the ways we have to stay connected.  Why is that?  Is it getting harder to make and keep good friends?  While I don’t have scientific evidence, I do have some observations.  And I believe addressing this issue will not only affect our relationships with each other, but our relationship with God.

I do think it’s more difficult to make deep connections with friends.  Not only is our time limited, but we only have so much of ourselves to offer others. By the time I’ve invested myself in my husband, children, mother, sisters, P31 friends (who live in other states), and the increasing amount of people who communicate with me through social media, there is not much left for my friends.  I can spread myself emotionally thin if I’m not careful.

Those two reasons alone make it hard to develop deep friendships.  But there’s one more trend with significant ramifications if we don’t acknowledge it and make a change:  It’s too easy to be fake with each other.

This has always been a problem, but it’s getting worse with our ability to communicate screen to screen, rather than face to face. It’s so easy to type in happy faces and let you think it’s true.  And since there’s not enough characters in a text to tell you what’s really going on, it’s easier to keep conversations on the surface.  Admit our deepest fears and doubts?  In an email?

Then, with so many people having a public persona, there’s a sense of needing to maintain a reputation. On Facebook or a blog, it’s easy to  quote Bible verses and encouraging quotes.  After all, that’s not the place to confess challenges with our children, our husbands, our jobs.  I’d much rather you admire me and think I’ve got it all together rather than know my deepest struggles.

We’ve got cultural changes that are impacting our ability to make and keep friends.  If much of our conversation happens through a screen, I can manufacture a desired emotional response.  The problem is without complete honesty and vulnerability we can only go so far in friendships.  And I don’t know about you, but I instinctively know when someone is putting on a good face. Most women do.  And when I sense that cover-up, I hold back.  I wait.  Protective walls creep up because it’s obvious trust isn’t there.  And trust has to be the foundation of relationships.  Without it, our relationships will be shallow.

I’ve discovered this is true with God as well.  Years ago I discovered it was much easier to say I trusted God than to really trust Him.  In the deepest corners of my heart, I was ashamed to admit I didn’t think God would come through for me.  Oh, I knew He could. But I didn’t really trust that He would.  That lack of trust affected my closeness with God.  And it wasn’t until I got honest that things started to change.

In my devotion I made the point that God can use our times of loneliness to draw us closer to Himself.  If you are in that place of loneliness, I encourage you to be honest before God.  Let Him be a safe place to empty every dark corner of your heart, soul and mind.  Nothing’s hidden from Him anyway, and by being honest you’ll find your relationship with God growing stronger.

It’s also good practice for developing relationships with others. Once you discover God won’t turn away when you acknowledge your junk, perhaps you’ll be more open with those around you.  Choose someone you really care about and share something deep.  I believe that honesty will be the start of some really great friendships I know God wants to bring to your life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  How has God used loneliness in your life?  Do you think it’s harder to make friends new?  Or is it easy to make them, but hard to keep them?  If so why.  To leave a comment, click here to be taken back to my blog,  Please don’t hit reply as that just comes to me.  And while I love reading your comments, I want everyone to enjoy them.

Thanks for joining me today!

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

Sometimes I want to put a stopper on my brain.  I’ve got so many ideas about so many things.  And sadly, many days all those great ideas just slip right out my ears and into the air … never to be remembered again.

I amaze myself at what I can forget.

One day I had a fabulous idea for a Proverbs 31 devotion.  It was so brilliant I was sure I wouldn’t forget it.  And so, confident in my great idea’s power to hold firm, I went about my business that morning.  Later that day, something tickled at my mind.  Hadn’t I had a good idea for something? … hmmm … what was it? 

Try as I might, I NEVER remembered that idea.  The question nagged at me for days.  I knew that idea was something I should have remembered, and an opportunity slipped away to capture it.  One might say God would give me that idea if it was something He wanted.  And that is possible – He’s done it many times.  However, based on my history of forgetting numerous good things, I think this is an area God needs me to actively address.

I’ve discovered ideas don’t always come at the most convenient time. In fact, they seldom arrive when I’m sitting at my desk with a pen and to-do list.  Telling myself to be creative works as well as telling myself not to eat that delicious red velvet cupcake my son’s girlfriend made.  (I had two)

My most creative thoughts come when I am doing something unrelated to whatever the idea concerns.  Here’s where I get my best ideas:  Driving, showering, doing laundry, reading in bed at night, reading the Bible at any time, and hanging out with friends and family.

So, I’ve been on a quest for years to discover ways to capture ideas and then manage them until I can do something about them. Here are some tips for capturing and managing.

Capturing Ideas

While I’m out:

I keep a notepad in my purse

I call my home number and leave a message.

Text or email myself.

Travel with a micro voice recorder.  Great while driving.

However, the best tool while out has been the iPhone I bought last year with Siri – the voice activated command center.  I use this every day.  I set reminders for myself for when I know I’ll be home and write notes in the notes section.  It’s been a fabulous tool and well worth the investment.  (Note:  I didn’t buy at full price – and I know this is expensive.  But I’m looking at it as an investment in myself and God’s work.)

While I’m home:

I’m still mainly a pen and paper girl at home.  So I have lots of notepads in different places.

However, since my computer is an extension of my hands most days, I’m also learning new ways to capture ideas here until I can manage them.  Personally I’m on Outlook most of the day, so I use the notes and tasks options to write things down.

Also, I am using Evernote more.  This is a free service for capturing and managing ideas.  I’ve yet to master this, but I’m using it in increasing measure and will continue to learn more.  Michael Hyatt  recommends Evernote.  If you’ve never read Michael Hyatt’s blog you might enjoy starting with this post.  Click here.

Managing Ideas

Capturing ideas in a “safe” place is critical.  Here are three ideas:

1.  Use your project management notebook.  I have pages in my planner for ideas I want to remember.  Mine include:  ideas for books I’m working on, devotion ideas with Scripture, and blog post ideas.
2.  Create an idea folder in Word.  Within that folder, create subfolders for ideas.  Here’s an example of what that might look like:

A.  Food
a.  Restaurant to try
b. Recipes to try
c. Food gifts to make
B.  Places
a.  Vacation spots
b.  Camping spots
c.  Activities with the family
C.  People
a.  Friends to invite for dinner
b.  Birthday gift ideas
c.  Prayer requests

This is just a sample of one way to manage ideas.  You’ll need to determine what works best for you. I’ve found that keeping fewer main folders and more sub-folders helps me keep track of things better.

3.  Use something like Evernote to manage your ideas in the same sub-folder manner.

I KNOW there are fabulous  programs out there to manage tasks and ideas.  I’ve looked at lots of them.  One example is Remember The Milk.

Let’s continue this discussion.  How do you manage ideas?  Do you use an online program?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

To visit Roo Mag, click here.

Every day this week  Candace and her team are giving away prizes and you’ll have multiple chances to win.  Some days there are two chances, so you’ll want to check back regularly.  My book will be featured on Thursday.  Here’s a sneak peak at the prizes:

• Monday Morning – 5 Copies of “ReShaping It All” by Candace and Darlene AND 5 copies of Candace’s CD with her testimony
• Monday Afternoon -3 of Karen Ehman’s books and 3 $10 gift cards
• Tuesday Morning – “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope
• Tuesday Afternoon – eDesign Single Question Consult – $45 Value – Darlene Weir
• Wednesday Morning – “The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex” by Sheila set to be released Marched 1st but Zondervan has made 3 copies available!
• Wednesday Afternoon – The ebook  – “The Good Wife’s Guide” – 5 copies – by Darlene Schacht
• Thursday Morning – “I Used To Be So Organized” – 2 copies by Glynnis Whitwer
• Thursday Afternoon – A BIG bundle of homeschooling ecurricula by Erica
• Friday Morning -   10 copies of Money Saving Mom’s book!   by Crystal Paine
• Friday Afternoon – a Cuisinart Immersion Blender – fun!- LeAnn Rice
• Saturday Morning – 3 Copies of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich given by Joy Eggerich
• Saturday Afternoon – 5 Copies of the ebook The Pursuit of Proverbs 31 by Amy Bayliss and 1 DIY Memebership!

I know you are receiving this email from me after Monday’s giveaways, but you can enter up until Sunday night.

Here’s a video they’ve created.  If you can’t view it in this email, please visit my blog to watch:  www.GlynnisWhitwer.com

I hope you’ll stop over there and enter to win some great prizes.  I would also love it if you would please pray for Cameron, her team and this website. Candace has such a beautiful heart for the Lord and her desire is to use the platform the Lord has given her with acting to reach women for Christ.

One more thing. I’d like to announce the winner of the Starbuck’s gift card.  Congratulations to Selena who posted a comment on February 10th at 5:53 a.m.   I’ve sent an email to Selena.

Thank you for sharing such great title ideas and topics that you’d like to read about.  I took pages of notes and LOVED your thoughts.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

Hurry used to be such an issue for me.  And on some days, still is.  Just when I think I’ve got hurry whipped, I find myself annoyed when my computer take five extra seconds to load a website.  Why do I think pushing random keys is going to help??? It doesn’t!

Actually, I used to be a very patient person.  In fact, it was one of the personal virtues I was most proud of.  Then I had children.  And I became not so patient.

WARNING:  Do not be “proud” of any personal virtues.  God may decide it’s time for some humbling.  (LOL)

That’s just what happened to me.   In the span of four years, God gave me and my husband three active healthy boys.  And I was undone. Thankful, for sure.  But outnumbered and overwhelmed.  For too many years after the last one was born, I tried to maintain my “old” lifestyle and dragged those three little boys everywhere.  Everything took longer and was more difficult than before.  And I found myself being snippy and snappy about too many things.

Hurry up!  Let’s get going!  We don’t have time for that!

Then I read The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg. His chapter on An Unhurried Life jumped out of the book and slapped me up one side and down the other!  Ortberg mentions something he calls “hurry sickness” which is characterized by a diminished capacity to love.  And when I read those words, I got a talkin’ to in my spirit.  My heart was slain, because I saw myself described in that chapter.  And didn’t want to be that kind of woman.

I wanted to be a patient and loving mother, one who took the time to teach, play, read and answer questions no matter how many times they were asked.  Was I conveying something other than love  to my children?  To my husband?  To my friends?

God challenged me to consider how I was loving those dearest to me.  And when I was in a hurry, evidence of my love diminished.  Hurry had to go.  I learned I could be busy, but not in a hurry.  I could be productive, but not in a hurry.   This wasn’t easy because hurry was a habit.  But with practice, it got easier.  And it’s still something I work on to this day.  I have to deliberately choose to slow down when I am with other people.

I’m so passionate about this idea of eliminating hurry from my life, that it’s the topic of my next book.  In fact, my working title is “An Unhurried Life.”   (FYI – you can’t copyright a title.  But I will ask Mr. Ortberg for permission before finalizing that title)  My book will look at the different ways we can slow down and enjoy life, show more love and live out our values in greater measure.  I think there is a longing in our hearts to live this kind of slower, simpler life – hence the huge interest in the Amish.   Not the specific practice of their faith, but the simplicity of their lifestyle.

Does this sound interesting to you?  I’d love to know your thoughts about a book like this.  Ideas for a better title?  What should I cover in the chapters?  What is your greatest challenge with living a slower, simpler life?

Leave a comment and I’ll enter you in a drawing for a Starbucks gift card.  I’ll announce the winner on Monday.

**** Thank you for entering.  This contest is closed and a winner selected. ****

Thanks for joining me today!

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

For one crazy, what-was-I-thinking year, I attended a cardio class twice a week.  That doesn’t sound too bad in print, but it wasn’t your ordinary exercise class.  It was one designed for MMA fighters.  No, I don’t have any plans to fight.  Let me back up.

For a few years, my husband and I were part owners of a mixed martial arts training center.  That’s where they train fighters who hope to be in the UFC one day.  This training center was a family member’s dream, and we wanted to support our family.  And, since I’m the mother of three young men, and the wife of one athletic husband, it was a lot of fun.

Anyway, I had this idea that the owners should be a visible presence in the center … and so I got my out-of-shape body into some workout gear (which didn’t look quite as good on me as I imagined while in the store) and showed up to a cardio conditioning class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.  The class consisted of 12-15 other people.  All in shape.  Most their 20s.  And then there was me.  (Remember the Sesame Street song “One of these things is not like the others … one of these things just doesn’t belong” – yep that was me.)

For some reason, the trainer seemed to hover around me most of the time … correcting … repositioning … muttering under his breath …

In that difficult year I learned a valuable lesson:  there are ways to circumvent pain … and that’s to do things wrong.

You see, you don’t have to do a full push up, you can pretend like you are doing a push up and go down ever so slightly.  You can do a semi-squat.  You can jog instead of run.   You can pull the bands back halfway instead of all the way.  And I could go on and on.  The problem with this half-hearted approach was I wasn’t seeing the results I really wanted.

I cheated myself with every shortcut.  If anyone else cheated me, I would be furious.  But there I was, doing it to myself. Short-changing my progress with every fake sit-up.  And I knew it.

This settling for mediocrity frustrates me – about myself.  Over the years, I’ve caught myself doing it at different times. It’s an insidious cycle of half-hearted effort, defeat, discouragement and then giving up.  Each time I catch that cycle starting to happen, I have to get firm with my lazy-self.  I tell her, “That’s not who you want to be!  Don’t cheat yourself! Push through and do it right the first time.”

That’s just what happened in that cardio class.  I determined that I might be the last one finishing each exercise, but I was going to do them right.  Ten deep squats (ouch).   A full-out sprint (LOL – at least that’s what I called it).  I checked my form and forced myself to finish each assignment by the instructor.  At the end of the year, I was NOT ready for the octagon.  But I was stronger than I’d ever been.

Addressing this issue has impacted every area in my life.  I’m not the most naturally disciplined person – far from it.  But I can testify that refusing to take shortcuts makes a difference.  It takes some tough self-talk, but I’m not willing to cheat myself so I do it.

If this connects with you on some level, I want to encourage you to identify an area in your life that you’d like to improve.  You don’t have to make big changes to see a difference.  Just start by pushing through in one area.

• Is your home a mess?   Commit to washing and putting away the dishes before you go to bed.
• Is your relationship with your husband lukewarm?  Commit to telling him one reason you love or respect him every day.
• Is your laundry in piles?  Commit to washing, drying, ironing and putting away one load.
• Are your finances in shambles?  Commit to balancing your checkbook.  (Or get a new one and start from scratch)
• Are your friendships distant?  Commit to calling a friend and planning a get together.
• Do you want to lose weight?  Commit to not eating BLTs  (bites, licks, tastes and sips) for one day.  Then another.

Don’t worry about the big things in life if you are overwhelmed.  Just focus on the little things and do them with all your heart. Fully.  No short cuts.  Through to the end.  I’m confident you’ll see a difference over time.  And I believe you’ll start to redefine success.  It’s not always the end goal you pictured, but it’s always you doing your best.

Sadly we are no longer owners of that MMA training center.  It was sold.  But I’ll always be thankful for what I learned about life and myself in that cardio class.

And I’m thankful for you today.  I’m so glad you stopped by.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

Based on your comments, there might be something to that idea.  But, I also noticed a recurring theme of fear from those who identified themselves as connectors.  Primarily the fear of forgetting … someone or an experience.  But also of hurting someone’s feelings.  Both of these concerns seem to be rooted in sincere love and respect for others.  And I’m confident that is treasured by our heavenly Father.

Clutter can be cleaned up.  Closets can be cleared out.   But it is a gift to love deeply.  And it is near to the heart of God.   So, don’t ever beat yourself up over a messy house.  Just realize you might need some extra help and encouragement … and I hope you find some of that here. 

And as you learn tips and techniques from those of us who order our cereal boxes by height and our socks by color … we will learn from you.  I’m always watching my friends who are connectors.  And soaking in what comes so naturally to them.  Their considerate ways motivate me to set aside my to-do list and spend more time with those I love.

We desperately need to encourage each other in our unique giftings, because God never meant for us to be complete on our own.  We are created to be interdependent.  First we need to be in dependent on God, then each other.   It’s really a beautiful thing when women affirm the best in each other, and come along side in those areas where we are weak. There’s just no time for competition.  We need to be FOR each other.  And I’m for each of you. And as I read your comments, I can see how you love each other.

So – no condemnation here.  Just loving encouragement.

With that in mind, I’ve got a few suggestions for how to deal with clutter if you’ve kept every gift you’ve ever been given, including that pink jumpsuit your Aunt Mildred gave you and the macrame owl hanging from the 70s you bought at a yard sale.

1)  You should realize that most people forget what they’ve given you within a few months.  You will not hurt their feelings by exchanging an unwanted gift.  In fact, most people really want to give a gift that is used.  So if you receive something that’s not useful, try to make an exchange right away.  Then let the person know what you did so you can thank them again.  I realize there are exceptions to this, and in those instances you might have to keep the gift … until Jesus returns.

2)  If you have items from a loved one who died, keep those until the grief has subsided.  Don’t let anyone rush that process.  Then, after time has passed, give away some items to other people who would appreciate them, and keep those that are most dear to you. If it’s been years and you are unable to move on, it might be time to get some help.  Grief Share is a national organization that helps people process grief.  Go to www.griefshare.org for more information.

3)  Consider rotating sentimental items on display.  You might rotate them quarterly or semi-annually.  Wrap and store items in large tubs in your attic or garage when not on display.

4)  If you are afraid you’ll forget people or experiences, consider starting a scrapbook diary.  Incorporate stories with photos, drawings, tickets and cards.  Don’t worry about how fancy it is, as it’s only for your use.  And don’t even worry about making it archivally perfect.  Some of the most charming items in my family’s history are scribbles in my grandmother’s handwriting on a scrap of paper.  So many people made the great suggestion to photograph special treasures, and here’s how you can use those photographs.

5)  Realize that sometimes holding on to the past  (and past relationships) keeps you from fully enjoying the present.  As you make hard decisions about what to release, ask yourself if it is adding value to today.  If not, then perhaps it’s time for it to go.

6) Picture someone else using what you don’t need.  Imagine her receiving a bag of clothes or books for her children.  Does it help picturing your unneeded item being loved by someone else?  Ask God for His heart of generosity if you find it hard to share.

I’m going to keep thinking about this topic, and I purchased the “Get Motivated” book that the motivational DNA test is based upon.  So we’ll revisit this topic as I learn more.  And some of you asked about the link for the test.  Click here to take the test online.

Finally, I am happy to announce a winner of my book.  Based on a random number selection, Melissa who posted on February 3 at 7:43 a.m. won.  I have sent an email to that Melissa, and my sincere thanks to everyone who posted a comment.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

The test has three categories:

1. What drives you (production or connection)
2. What your needs are (stability or variety)
3. What awards you prefer (internal or external)

Although my results were somewhat predictable:  production, stability and internal motivation, it was the first category that opened my eyes to why  I’m not very good at social networking  among other things. (My apologies to everyone who has befriended me on Facebook or is following me on Twitter)

I’m not a connector.  I’m a producer.

However, I’ve got many friends who are motivated by connections.  My friend Lysa is a connector.  Renee is a connector.  They are always thinking in terms of relationships.  My oldest sister is a connector.  She values time with family above all.  For a connector, relationships are everywhere … even with things.   And I wonder if relational people struggle more with getting organized and de-cluttering.

I’ve been in connector’s homes and discovered how hard it is to help them de-clutter.

“Oh no, I can’t get rid of that.  I got that teddy bear when we went to the state fair in 1980.”

“I must keep that magazine, it’s got ideas for activities to do with my grandchildren.”

“I love that sweater … I got it when I went shopping with Auntie Em!”

Books, nicknacks, jewelry, clothes, china, home decor  … they are all tied to relationships.  And of course, for a connector to get rid of them would be unthinkable because it would be like getting rid of a person.  Believe me … I know.  I’ve been looked at like I was selling someone’s child to a traveling band of gypsies by even suggesting one might not need all those mugs.

And so beloved items fill cabinets, shelves, table tops, closets … growing, expanding and taking up available space til there’s no room left.  Visual clutter drains energy, which makes it hard to think and eventually you’ve got a self-perpetuating situation that’s difficult to overcome.

But what if  a connection to things is actually hindering relationships with people?  I’ve seen it happen in people’s lives.  The very thing they want most, they push away.  They don’t invite friends over to their messy house, they get into fights with a spouse over piles or they can’t manage their schedule enough to plan time with others.

Could a relational person look at things differently if this were true?  Could she release her hold on things if she knew it was hurting her relationships?  I think so.  Remember what Jesus said about the most important commandments?  Love God; love people.  With God’s wisdom we can restore a right perspective on things.

Right now this is just a theory, but it makes so much sense.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Are you relational?  Does it affect your ability to de-clutter your home and schedule?  Do you have an unhealthy “relationship” with things? Could you … would you … be willing to release your hold on things if you knew it was impacting relationships?  Or, have you figured some of this out already?

Of course, those of us who are producers have a different challenge with relationships and things.  But I’ll address that another day …

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

P.S.  Last week I promised another giveaway and then I got so excited about writing that post on perspective I just forgot.  I’m sorry.  But I just bought another box of my books,”I Used to Be So Organized” and I’d love to give one away.  Leave a comment on this post and I’ll announce a winner on Monday.

Since this is my first time presenting a series like this, I was unsure of the response.  May I just say you all blessed my socks off?!!  Every day I looked forward to your comments to me and each other, and every day my inbox contained sweet notes of encouragement and tender sharings of your lives and struggles.  Thank you.  I value you and your time, and consider it an honor that you signed up for my challenge.

As we end this series, I have a few more thoughts to share with you.  Mainly because I know how defeated you might get in this area.  Keeping a home de-cluttered and organized is an ongoing challenge.  Life keeps changing.  What worked last month, might not work this month.  And just when you think you’ve got this de-cluttering thing conquered, something will happen to you (or me) to make us feel like giving up and accepting clutter.  What we’ll need in that moment is perspective.  Imagine this …

You’ve just cleaned up the kitchen and family room and sat back with a Diet Coke to relax for a minute, when along comes a high school wrestler who will dump his stinky shoes and sweaty shirt on the counter.  Not long after that, backpacks will get dropped in a line from the door to where you are sitting.  Papers will be tossed on the dining room table.  Later, a tall handsome man walks in, kicks off his shoes, drops a briefcase on the floor, and sets a notebook and travel mug next to the shoes.  And five people will ask you what’s for dinner within a 15-minute time span. Four will come back to ask if they can have a snack.

And you will look at the mess, and sigh. And it’s right here, right at this point, you have a choice.

Hopefully … just maybe … with God’s strength and wisdom …  you will pause before attempting to make everyone feel guilty for unloading all their stuff and messing up your hard work.  And in that pause, before unkind thoughts can take root, or angry words can be spoken, God’s Spirit will give you a “hug” and remind you that life is messy.  Really. Messy.  And people are more important than clean counters.  And this won’t last forever. And LOTS of people would give just about anything to have someone they love walk in the door and drop their stuff.

Then, after you’ve thanked God for stopping your gut reaction and giving you perspective, you will get up and hug that wrestler and tell him you are SO HAPPY he is home.  You will kiss those little backpack-wearers on the forehead.  You will cut up an apple and wash some grapes.  You will kiss your husband and put his travel mug in the dishwasher. And realize that this is much more important than having a perfect home.

Oh how perspective has saved me from doing and saying so many regrettable things.  You see, our highest calling is to love God and love others.   Yes managing our homes and schedules is important.  Obviously I believe that strongly.  But maintaining a heart of love should always supersede our desire for a clutter-free home.  So when the interruptions come (and they will) … and when someone messes with your plans (and they will) … remember to keep perspective.  Keep first things first.  And  Jesus’ commands always come first.

Let’s say you keep perspective, and you avoid a meltdown, but in the quiet of your heart you feel like a failure in managing your time and home.  And maybe you signed up for this challenge thinking, I’m really going to get it together now.  But three weeks have gone by and you haven’t made one change.  If the truth were told, you are actually further behind because now you’ve spent way too much time reading those long blog post by that wordy Whitwer.

If that’s you, and you are even more discouraged than before, please take those thoughts captive, and hear what I have to say.   God is accomplishing HIS purposes for you through this challenge.   God’s ways are not our ways.  You might have signed up with the intent of de-cluttering, and God had another purpose altogether.  I learned long ago that I can sign up for one “class” but God had already scheduled me for another.  Be open to what God wanted to do during your time on this challenge.  If God did something completely crazy like heal a relationship or light a creative spark inside you that’s going to mean even more crafty clutter, please let me know.

Just two more things. Really, and then I’ll end.   First, if you have taken any before and after pictures, I hope you’ll post them on your blog.  Then leave a comment with a link to your blog.  To leave a comment, click here to go to my blog.  My friend Julie Gillies posted some of her before and after photos.  I hope you’ll hop over there to by clicking here.

Finally, I hope you’ll consider staying on as a subscriber to my blog.  I will continue to write two times a week about my passions: home, family, organization, time management and productivity.  I occasionally write about general faith topics, usually when I have a devotion running on Proverbs 31.  But if you decide to unsubscribe, I want to thank you for joining me for this study. Your time is valuable and your trust is precious to me.

That’s it.  I’m done.  At least for today.  I’ll look forward to sharing more with you in the future.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

Heavenly Father, I worship You for Your goodness and faithfulness. Even though my life feels out of control at times, You never are.  As I continue to bring order to my life, I know I’m going to need Your help.  I get so easily discouraged and want to quit. Help me to persevere.  But I also need to know when to let things go and just rest and enjoy my messy life.  Please help me know the difference, and have the courage to do the right thing.  I love You, Lord.  In Jesus name, Amen.

If you’d like to read more of my tips for organizing, I hope you’ll consider getting my book.  It’s available through Proverbs 31 Ministries, Amazon or any bookstore.  Thank you.

We’ve got a lot to cover today regarding closets, so I’m going to jump right into it.  But I also want to remind you that I’m only dealing with de-cluttering – not organizing.  My inclination is to start with organizing when it comes to closets, but I don’t want you to worry about that right now.  Just focus on minimizing the clutter, and it’s very possible you won’t need to make major organizing changes.

No, this is not my closet. But a girl can dream.

My guess is you are frustrated with your closets.  And you might even think your problem is not enough closet space.  You could be right.  However, the reality is, unless you have a custom-designed home (or are already well-organized), no one thinks they have enough storage.  Why?  Stuff expands to fill empty space. So almost all of our closets, cabinets and garages get filled to capacity.

That works until it doesn’t.  When our clothes are smashed and wrinkled, when we can’t find winter gloves, and when we spend money on gifts we forgot we’d already bought – then we realize it’s time to do something about those black holes.  Then we are forced to make decisions. Maybe the hardest place to make decisions is our clothing closet, which is our focus today.

Before you start to de-clutter your closet, you’ll need some supplies.  If you haven’t done this for awhile, you are probably going to get rid of a lot of things.  My favorite piece of advice is to use black garbage bags.  Why?  Once you’ve removed an item from your closet and put it in the bag, you can’t see it.  And if you can’t see it, you are less likely to go soft and pull it out.

Next, get ready to deal with broken dreams:  Dreams that we can still fit into that dress, wear those heels or that someday our favorite pink shirt will actually look good on us.  Clothing is associated with special events and seasons of our lives, and is very difficult to give up.  Having to admit that I’m older and can’t wear certain styles is painful.  De-cluttering my bedroom closet means I might have to let those dreams go.  However, I’ve found a way to make it easier.

When it’s hard to part with a dress I once loved, there’s an image I bring to my mind.   It’s of a single mother, trying to get a job.  She doesn’t have anything nice to wear, nor the money to run to the mall and pick up a cute outfit.   Then I look at the lovely skirt I no longer wear.  That skirt can either hang in my closet gathering dust, or help a sister I haven’t met.

There are always exceptions, but mostly it’s just wrong for me to keep things I don’t use, and likely never will.  I strongly believe we should be living more like the first Christians who shared everything they had with each other.  No one was in need.  Whether I give it away or sell it at a yard sale, depends on my family’s needs at the moment.  Either way, someone else is being blessed.  I want to live open handed, not closefisted.  For if my hands are closed, it’s very hard for God to place something new in them.

So, with that in mind,  as you look at your closet, consider the following two categories of items to remove:

1)  What you don’t need or want anymore.

Here are four reasons to remove items.

Damaged or stained beyond repair.  Re-purpose these clothes when possible.  Use scraps for dusting or arts and crafts.  Give some to quilters you know.  Make clothing into other items like purses or tote bags.  Set some aside for messy or dirty jobs such as yard work, cleaning or arts and crafts.

Not my style.  No matter how much you love them, remove clothes you don’t wear due to style.  Fifteen years after working outside the house, my dress clothes hung in my closet.  Even if I could have fit into them, they weren’t my personal style any more.  Or, they were too “young” for me.

Not worn. Shari Braendel, author of Good Girls Don’t Have to Dress Bad, wrote, “Without emotion, take everything out of your closet you have not worn in the last 18 months.  The reason for the 18-month rule is that this gives you two seasons of the previous one you just went through.  For example, if summer has just ended and you have things hanging in your closet that you didn’t wear this year OR the summer before, chances are you are not going to wear it next year”  I like Shari’s advice better than the typical one-year rule.

Undecided.  Some items of clothing present a challenge.  We don’t love them, nor hate them.  Professional organizer and Mission: Organization guest, Monica Ricci offers this piece of advice, “Go through the ‘undecided’ pile piece by piece, and ask yourself what value each piece currently gives you.  Clothes that aren’t serving you need to be culled to make room for those pieces that are valuable.”

Wrong size.  We have the opportunity to look stylish at any age or weight.  If there are clothes that don’t fit well, or not at all, let them go.  Of course, keeping some things makes sense if you are on a weight loss plan.  Just be honest with yourself.

The other category of items to remove are those that could, or should, be stored somewhere else.  Here are some tips for them:

2) What can be stored elsewhere

Sometimes our closets are catchalls for miscellaneous items.  As you evaluate the odds and ends in your storage spaces, consider if it would make more sense to store them elsewhere.  Try to keep items close to where they are used.

1.  Move items to another room.   When possible, keep like items together, and in a logical space. If you’ve stored golf clubs in your closet try to put them with other sports equipment.  This might involve a whole-house approach if you’ve got like items stored in multiple places.

2.  Remove items you want to keep, but seldom wear.  For example, formal wear or ski clothes.  These items can be stored in an attic or garage depending on fabric and weather.  If you have room, consider storing seldom-used hanging items on a rolling garment rack. Buy one with a clear or fabric zipped covering.  For under $100, you can get a large portable wardrobe with rods for hanging and places for shoes and other folded clothing.

3.  Remove off-season clothing.   Hopefully you can rotate seasonal clothing.  Store these items under the bed or in another dresser.  Or consider a portable garment rack tucked in a garage or work room.

Clearing closets is often easier with a friend … an honest one … and one with some style if possible. I’d still be wearing somethings from the 80s if not for some honest friends.

Once you’ve trimmed down your closets, I hope you’ll spend some time considering adding  organizational helps.  If you want ideas, visit websites like www.organize.com or www.containerstore.com.

Please join me tomorrow as we wrap up this Clutter-Free Challenge.  I’ve got some final thoughts to share, one last giveaway, and I want to give you an opportunity to provide a link to your blogs to share your success stories with each other.

Grace & Peace,

Glynnis

Heavenly Father, it’s going to be tough going through my clothes closet.  There are many emotions connected with those items.  Help me to trust You enough to release the past.  I don’t want to hold on to things that I need to let go.  Help me to see this as a chance to release the old, to share with others, and to be open for the new thing You want to do in my life.  There’s a part of me that’s afraid to let things go for fear I won’t have enough.  But today I stand on Your promise to meet my needs.  Thank You for your faithfulness.  I choose to trust You today.  In Jesus name, Amen.