MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FORWARDED E MAILS

Technical Support....querys

2011-10-20T05:02:00.001-07:00

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
...............................
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
...............................
Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi .. . . I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . .
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!!!
...............................
Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it!!!
...............................
Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . .. . . . . thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.
...............................
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.
Customer: Okay..
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.
...............................
Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?
...............................
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
...............................
Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
...............................
Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every time I move my mouse, it disappears.
...............................
Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.
...............................

A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine!
...............................
.And last, but not least . . .

Tech Support: Okay George, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, George.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: 'P' . . . on your keyboard, George.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
...............................
This outta make you feel better about your computer skills!

bribery culture in India

2011-09-22T01:41:00.001-07:00

Corruption in India is a cultural aspect.
Indians seem to think nothing peculiar about corruption. It is everywhere.

Indians tolerate corrupt individuals rather than correct them.

No race can be congenitally corrupt.
But can a race be corrupted by its culture?

To know why Indians are corrupt, look at their patterns and practices.

First:

Religion is transactional in India.
Indians give God cash and anticipate an out-of-turn reward. Such a plea acknowledges that favours are needed for the undeserving.

In the world outside the temple walls, such a transaction is named- 'bribe'�.

A wealthy Indian gives not cash to temples, but gold crowns and such baubles. His gifts can not feed the poor. His pay-off is for God. He thinks it will be wasted if it goes to a needy man. In June 2009, The Hindu published a report of Karnataka minister G. Janardhan Reddy gifting a crown of gold and diamonds worth Rs 45 crore to Tirupati. India's temples collect so much that they don't know what to do with it. Billions are gathering dust in temple vaults.

When Europeans came to India they built schools. When Indians go to Europe & USA, they build temples. Indians believe that if God accepts money for his favours, then nothing is wrong in doing the same thing. This is why Indians are so easily corruptible. Indian culture accommodates such transactions morally. There is no real stigma. An utterly corrupt Jaya Lalita can make a comeback, just unthinkable in the West.

Second -

Indian moral ambiguity towards corruption is visible in its history. Indian history tells of the capture of cities and kingdoms after guards were paid off to open the gates, and commanders paid off to surrender.

This is unique to India.

Indians' corrupt nature has meant limited warfare on the subcontinent. It is striking how little Indians have actually fought compared to ancient Greece and modern Europe.

The Turks' battles with Nadir Shah were vicious and fought to the finish. In India fighting wasn't needed, bribing was enough to see off armies. Any invader willing to spend cash could brush aside India's kings, no matter how many tens of thousands soldiers were in their infantry. Little resistance was given by the Indians at the 'Battle'� of Plassey. Clive paid off Mir Jaffar and all of Bengal folded to an army of 3,000.

There was always a financial exchange to taking Indian forts. Golconda was captured in 1687 after the secret back door was left open. Mughals vanquished Marathas and Rajputs with nothing but bribes. The Raja of Srinagar gave up Dara Shikoh's son Sulaiman to Aurangzeb after receiving a bribe.

There are many cases where Indians participated on a large scale in treason due to bribery.

Question is: Why Indians have a transactional culture while other 'civilized' nations don't?

Third -

Indians do not believe in the theory that they all can rise if each of them behaves morally, because that is not the message of their faith.

Their caste system separates them. They don't believe that all men are equal. This resulted in their division and migration to other religions. Many Hindus started their own faith like Sikh, Jain, Buddha and many converted to Christianity and Islam.

The result is that Indians don't trust one another. There are no Indians in India, there are Hindus, Christians, Muslims and what not.

Indians forget that 400 years ago they all belonged to one faith. This division evolved an unhealthy culture. The inequality has resulted in a corrupt society,

In India every one is thus against everyone else, except God and even he must be bribed.

Courtesy: http://www.fropki.com/

Read this, don’t give up; it’s interesting !!

2011-09-09T01:39:00.001-07:00

Read this, don't give up; it's interesting !!

‎7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4 LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.

5H4R3 7H15 W17H O7H3R5 1F U C4N R35D 7H15 :)

TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..

2011-08-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..

1. HARD DISK Girls:

Remember everything forever.

2. RAM Girls:

Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls:

just for looking.

4. INTERNET Girls:

Difficult to access.

5. SERVER Girls:

Always busy when needed.

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:

Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

7. VIRUS Girls :

These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE'

once enters in your system don't leave even after format..

Prayers been answered!!

2011-08-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.

I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.

The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"

Kishuus.emails, Win Rs. 50,000 this august!

2011-08-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

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A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met...

2011-08-08T00:22:00.001-07:00

A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat.
(Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's )
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK (Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, she's kinda..... Keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick people these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: smiles sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number; given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real urgent for me to work this out
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. Ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!!!! :(

dying granny

2011-08-01T03:13:00.001-07:00

A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter:

"I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash".

The granddaughter replied: "Wow!!" 'Thanks granny, I didn't know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??"

Granny says with her last dying breath....

"""

""""""

."It's on my Facebook."

Same Service

2011-08-01T02:57:00.003-07:00

Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. " You're still getting the same service !"

__,_._,___

club 99

2011-08-01T02:57:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy.

The King asked the servant, 'Why are you so happy?'

The man replied, 'Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies.'

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, I believe that the servant Has not been made part of The 99 Club.'

'The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?' the King inquired.

The advisor replied, 'Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep.'

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins!

He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, 'What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!'

He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.'

He continued, 'The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and Striving for that extra 1, saying to themselves: 'Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.' We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.

That's the "Club 99".

What to Take to Bed for Security

2011-07-26T11:27:00.001-07:00

Some info on safety.
What to take to bed with you - not a joke...
Pretty neat idea. Never thought of it before.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

Note : even it works in sudden heart attack

__._,_.___

difference

2011-07-24T23:59:00.001-07:00

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of BMW Car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, ? Hello Doctor!! Please come over here
for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
basically the same work? " .

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....
.
.

.
.
.
He said:" Try to do it when the engine is running

how it goes in courts

2011-07-18T23:30:00.001-07:00

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral..
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Funny IT Staff

2011-07-15T00:27:00.001-07:00

Funny IT Staff

1.Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby
in One month.

2. Content Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a Baby.

3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.

4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even
if no man and woman are available.

6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7. Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document it in 9 months.

8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS
to produce a baby.

A Call for a get together..Read on..

2011-07-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

Jandyala's style keep laughing:-)

USE AND HAVE FUN:

కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లాక్కునే అంట్ల కాకి ఎదవా …
atmలో pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి….
ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ…
# 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తిట్లు తినే తింగరి ఎదవ
రెండో floor లో పెట్రోల్ బంక్ పెట్టి దివాలా తీసిన ఫేసూ.
తిని పాడేసిన విస్తరాకులు కడిగి అమ్మే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవా
బూట్ పాలిష్ కుర్రాడితో బేరాలాడి 50 % డిస్కౌంట్ కి చేయించుకునే పీనాసి నాయాల
కాకి రెట్టేసిన క్లైంట్ మీటింగ్ కి వెళ్ళిపోయే చెత్త నాయాల
నల్ల cooling glass వేసుకుని నల్ల అద్దంలో చూసుకుంటూ మాడిపోయిన మసాలా
దోసను అమావాస్య రోజు current పోయిన Time లో తినే కక్కుర్తి యెదవ.
విమానంలో kerchief వేసి seat book చేసుకోటానికి parachute వేసుకెళ్ళే పిచ్చి వెధవ
Sunday night PUB కి వెళ్ళి వేడిగా ఉప్మా ఉందా అని అడిగే ఏబ్రాసి.
కుక్క వెంటపడుతుంటే పరిగెత్తకుండా vodofone sim తీసి పడేసే అక్కుపక్షి
శవం మీద మరమరాలు ఏరుకొని bhel puri చేసుకొని తినే పెంట మొహమా..
అక్షయపాత్ర చేతిలో పెట్టుకుని అడుక్కుతినే వెదవ
అష్ట దరిద్రమైన శని గ్రహానికి powder పూసి, బొట్టు పెట్టిన దయ్యంలా ఉన్నావ్….
Aquarium లో చేపలు పట్టే ఫేసూ..
ఎర్రసైన్యం R.narayana murthy దగ్గర break dance నేర్చుకొనే ఎదవా..
నువ్వు బీడు బడిన బ్లేడ్*రా.
సగం కంపైల్ అయిన కోడ్* గాడివి
రాబందు రెట్టవి, బొద్దింక క్లేసానివి
ఎండ్రిన్ డబ్బాలో ఏరుసెన్నక్కాయలు దాచుకుని తినే ఎర్రి పీనుగా.

లాలి పాటను రీమిక్స్ చేసి మాటలు రాని పిల్లలతో బూతులు తిట్టించుకునే బూచోడా.
మంచుతో చేసేదే మంచురియ అనుకునే మొహం
చీపురు కూడా చీప్*ది కొనే చప్రాసెదవ.
ఆకలికి పురుగుల మందులో చెక్కర వేసుకొని తాగే మొహం
మంచు కరిగించి మంచి నీళ్ళని అమ్మే వెధవ మొహం
ఐ-మాక్స్ సినిమాకు బైనోకులర్స్ పట్టుకెళ్ళే బేఖూఫ్ ఎదవ.
కట్టింగ్ షాప్*లో కత్తెర దొంగిలించే ఫేసు.
పిచుకల గూట్లో పీసుమిఠాయి వెతికే పింజారెదవా.
రాగి సంగటి అంటే రాగి తీగలతో చేస్తారని అనుకునే మొహం
పుచ్చిపోయిన వంకాయలతో గుత్తొంకాయ కూర చేసుకుని తినే మొహం
అరోగ్య శ్రీ యాడ్*ను పైరసీ చేసి అమ్మే అరమైండ్ ఎదవ.
youtubeలో నంది పైపులు, tubeలు వెతికే మొహం.
తుఫానులో తువాలు పొయిందని ఫీల్ అయ్యే తుప్రాసెదవ.
కలలో కలాంను కలవరించే కలర్ బ్లైండ్*నెస్ ఫెలొ.
TVలో వచ్చే సినిమాను కూడా రివ్యూ చదివి చూసే మొహం.
బొచ్చు పీకిన ఎలుగు బంటి లా వున్నావ్.
వినాయక చవితి రోజు గణేష్ బీడిలమ్మే గలీజ్*గా.
సత్తు సామానోడికి సాఫ్ట్*వేర్ అమ్మాలనుకునే మొహం.
తేనెపట్టుని చుట్టబెట్టుకుని తట్టబుట్ట పట్టుకుని పెట్టతో
చట్టాపట్టాలేసుని చుట్టుపక్కలా తిరిగే బెట్టుయెదవ
పప్పు లొ ఉప్పేసుకుని కప్పు లో తాగే కంపునాయాల

Night Classes

2011-07-04T23:28:00.001-07:00

At work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:

Raman: Narayan, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and
I have an exam next week.

Narayan: oh!

Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?

Narayan: No

Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night
Courses you would know this.

The next day, the same discussion took place:

Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?

Narayan: No

Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night
courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?

Narayan: No

Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses,
you would know this.

This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is
Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?

Raman: No

Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night
courses, you would know.

Rule: There are some things more important in life than Work n General Knowledge

Seven Personality Traits of Top Salespeople

2011-07-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Steve W. Martin

Steve W. Martin teaches sales strategy at the USC Marshall School of Business. His latest book on sales linguistics is Heavy Hitter Sales Psychology: How to Penetrate the C-level Executive Suite and Convince Company Leaders to Buy.

Seven Personality Traits of Top Salespeople

If you ask an extremely successful salesperson, "What makes you different from the average sales rep?" you will most likely get a less-than-accurate answer, if any answer at all. Frankly, the person may not even know the real answer because most successful salespeople are simply doing what comes naturally.

Over the past decade, I have had the privilege of interviewing thousands of top business-to-business salespeople who sell for some of the world's leading companies. I've also administered personality tests to 1,000 of them. My goal was to measure their five main personality traits (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and negative emotionality) to better understand the characteristics that separate them their peers.

The personality tests were given to high technology and business services salespeople as part of sales strategy workshops I was conducting. In addition, tests were administered at Presidents Club meetings (the incentive trip that top salespeople are awarded by their company for their outstanding performance). The responses were then categorized by percentage of annual quota attainment and classified into top performers, average performers, and below average performers categories.

The test results from top performers were then compared against average and below average performers. The findings indicate that key personality traits directly influence top performers' selling style and ultimately their success. Below, you will find the main key personality attributes of top salespeople and the impact of the trait on their selling style.

1. Modesty. Contrary to conventional stereotypes that successful salespeople are pushy and egotistical, 91 percent of top salespeople had medium to high scores of modesty and humility. Furthermore, the results suggest that ostentatious salespeople who are full of bravado alienate far more customers than they win over.

Selling Style Impact: Team Orientation. As opposed to establishing themselves as the focal point of the purchase decision, top salespeople position the team (presales technical engineers, consulting, and management) that will help them win the account as the centerpiece.

2. Conscientiousness. Eighty-five percent of top salespeople had high levels of conscientiousness, whereby they could be described as having a strong sense of duty and being responsible and reliable. These salespeople take their jobs very seriously and feel deeply responsible for the results. Also to add they do a lot of home work . They always go extra mile in educating the team members .

Selling Style Impact: Account Control. The worst position for salespeople to be in is to have relinquished account control and to be operating at the direction of the customer, or worse yet, a competitor. Conversely, top salespeople take command of the sales cycle process in order to control their own destiny. They see their business as winning . They not only take the lead but help plan for the TEAM … Example they always seem to plan for seating , dinner menu , conversation topics etc . They make an extra effort to look at Route Map and seem to always plan for SCENARIOS .

3. Achievement Orientation. Eighty-four percent of the top performers tested scored very high in achievement orientation. They are fixated on achieving goals and continuously measure their performance in comparison to their goals.

Selling Style Impact: Political Orientation. During sales cycles, top sales, performers seek to understand the politics of customer decision-making. Their goal orientation instinctively drives them to meet with key decision-makers. Therefore, they strategize about the people they are selling to and how the products they're selling fit into the organization instead of focusing on the functionality of the products themselves.

4. Curiosity. Curiosity can be described as a person's hunger for knowledge and information. Eighty-two percent of top salespeople scored extremely high curiosity levels. Top salespeople are naturally more curious than their lesser performing counterparts. Making an effort to Learn …..

Selling Style Impact: Inquisitiveness. A high level of inquisitiveness correlates to an active presence during sales calls. An active presence drives the salesperson to ask customers difficult and uncomfortable questions in order to close gaps in information. Top salespeople want to know if they can win the business, and they want to know the truth as soon as possible.

5. Lack of Gregariousness. One of the most surprising differences between top salespeople and those ranking in the bottom one-third of performance is their level of gregariousness (preference for being with people and friendliness). Overall, top performers averaged 30 percent lower gregariousness than below average performers.

Selling Style Impact: Dominance. Dominance is the ability to gain the willing obedience of customers such that the salesperson's recommendations and advice are followed. The results indicate that overly friendly salespeople are too close to their customers and have difficulty establishing dominance.

6. Lack of Discouragement. Less than 10 percent of top salespeople were classified as having high levels of discouragement and being frequently overwhelmed with sadness. Conversely, 90 percent were categorized as experiencing infrequent or only occasional sadness. They DRIVE POSITIVITY…..They Seem to have a SOLUTION .

Selling Style Impact: Competitiveness. In casual surveys I have conducted throughout the years, I have found that a very high percentage of top performers played organized sports in high school. There seems to be a correlation between sports and sales success as top performers are able to handle emotional disappointments, bounce back from losses, and mentally prepare themselves for the next opportunity to compete.

7. Lack of Self-Consciousness. Self-consciousness is the measurement of how easily someone is embarrassed. The byproduct of a high level of self-consciousness is bashfulness and inhibition. Less than five percent of top performers had high levels of self-consciousness.

Selling Style Impact: Aggressiveness. Top salespeople are comfortable fighting for their cause and are not afraid of rankling customers in the process. They are action-oriented and unafraid to call high in their accounts or courageously cold call new prospects.

Not all salespeople are successful. Given the same sales tools, level of education, and propensity to work, why do some salespeople succeed where others fail? Is one better suited to sell the product because of his or her background? Is one more charming or just luckier? The evidence suggests that the personalities of these truly great salespeople play a critical role in determining their success.

2 Most Difficult Things to Achieve (Funny)

2011-07-03T02:11:00.001-07:00

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:

1. To plant your idea in someone's head.

2. To plant someone's money in your own pocket.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

* The one who succeeds in the former- is a 'teacher'.

* The one who succeeds in the latter- is a 'boss'.

* The one who succeeds in both is a 'wife'.

* The one who fails in both is a 'husband'!

__._,_.___

Benefits of our Latest Connected World

2011-06-29T02:51:00.001-07:00

The Economy of world explained easily

2011-06-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

USED vs LOVED

2011-06-24T04:25:00.001-07:00

USED vs LOVED

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

Keep

Smiling! J

The Pig and the Horse...!

2011-06-24T04:24:00.001-07:00

...The Pig And The Horse

There was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed to complete his collection. One day, he found out that his neighbor had the particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered his neighbor until he sold it to him. A month later, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three...

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on.... Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let's kill the pig!

Points for reflection:
This often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.
LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!
If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember: amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic.

DON'T LOOK TO BECOME A PERSON OF SUCCESS, LOOK INSTEAD TO BECOME A
PERSON OF VALUE!

PC Eye care guide

2011-06-13T02:04:00.001-07:00

Anyone who spends a large part of their day staring at a PC knows only too well just how sore your eyes can get.

And with more of us getting home and logging onto the Internet the minute we walk through the door, is it any wonder that we keep complaining about eye fatigue and headaches?

So make sure that you take the time to learn these basic eye care techniques. Just taking a few moments out of your day to follow these rules will reduce soreness and even help with those occasional headaches.

Take a break

If you're working for a long amount of time on a PC then you should aim to take a ten minute break for every hour that you spend staring at the screen, minimum. This will give your eyes enough time to rest and recover.

Go green

Taking the time to stop what you're doing and focus on a green colored object is a great way to relax your eyes. This is because green is the most relaxing colour we can observe.

Are you working in an environment with plenty of plants and leaves around you? You really should be.

Look into the distance

Stop what you're doing, look away from your PC and focus on an object that's far away. If you have windows then look out of it and find something on the horizon.

Take a few minutes to concentrate your focus on the object and let your eyes get some exercise. This is because, when you stare at a screen your eyes are focused on objects very close to you, but your eyes were designed to look everywhere, so make sure that you keep using them properly throughout the day.

Blink

Every time you blink the surface of your eyes get brushed and moistened. It's nature's way of keeping your eyes clean and fresh so make sure that you do it all the time.

Water cooler

When you take your breaks make sure that you use that time to splash some cool water on your closed eyes. This will help your eyes to relax, cool down and rest before going back to the monitor.

Use an eye exercise routine

This is one of the best things you can do to keep your eyes healthy and strain free. Just take a few minutes each day, after lunch and at the end of your working day, to perform these simple steps.

You don't have to do all of them at the same time, just as many or as few as you feel like or have the time for.

Exercise A

Roll your eyes in a figure of eight pattern slowly and calmly whilst breathing deeply for a total of 10 breaths.

Exercise B

Close your eyes and roll them both clockwise and anti-clockwise for about a minute. This will increase the amount of moisture around your eyes whilst giving the muscles a good workout.

Exercise C

Hold both your index fingers horizontally about eight inches away from your face, a few inches apart, just below eye level. Look straight ahead until you notice a small flesh-like sausage shape appear between your two index fingers, then lower your eyes and look straight at the sausage shape until it disappears. Repeat between 10 – 15 times.

Exercise D

Final one, and certainly the most pleasant, is known as palming. Rub your hands together until they become very warm, then close your eyes and lightly cup them. Keep your eyes closed and immerse yourself in the total blackness in front of you.

This exercise is excellent for relaxing and soothing the eyes – do it whenever possible.

Drink water

Ok sounds obvious but that doesn't mean that everyone does it. If you drink plenty of water you'll not only stay hydrated and have less sore eyes but it even helps with the ageing process! So what are you waiting for?

Turn off the air conditioning

Air conditioning can dry out tired eyes quicker than having the window open. It also saves on your energy consumption. Win win.

Use anti-glare glasses

You can get anti-glare glasses to protect your eyes from the PC monitor just like you can to protect them from the glare of oncoming night traffic.

Contact lens wearers should especially get 'zero powered' anti-glare glasses if working for long periods on a PC.

Get to bed

Sleep is the mother of health and happiness. Get more and your eyes will thank you by not getting tired and stressed half way through your working day

Japanese Call Center

2011-06-06T04:40:00.002-07:00

@ Japanese Call Center.........

Hello,Good Morning....

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me…

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me... Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan ... And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident.

Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.

Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree...

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree...

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

: Here He Comes Again.....Rajni at his Best .....Mind It......!!! New one's

2011-06-06T04:40:00.001-07:00

Rajnikanth got selected in Roadies..... Next day during vote-out, RAJNIKANTH:I'm sorry Raghu, apka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai.....:D

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When Rajnikant was studyin in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

Crazy people!!!! ;)

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When Rajnikant was a Student…!!!

Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!

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Rajnikant started college. All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is
"Rajnikant's Medical College of Engineering for Commerce".

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Rajnikant purchased a road roller…

Guess why??????

To Iron his Clothes……………………………

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THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!

Sachin Tendulkar's mothers name is RAJNI Tendulkar…

And his coach's name is ramaKANT J

Is there a need to say anything beyond this???

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Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant's statue…

..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well

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If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts! :D

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Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"

He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

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One day Rajnikant thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….

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Tonight at 9 Rajnikant can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games' high jump event…

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What do you think Vodafone 3G tag line should be :-
Faster ..
Better…
RAJNIKANT….

No it should be (strictly)

RAJNIKANT.
RAJNIKANT..
RAJNIKANT…

Mind it
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Rajnikanth's next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims
across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and... the Titanic in the other

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"Rajnikanth doesn't breathe…air comes to hide in his lungs"

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"Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012…..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty"…..:P
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Rajni can walk faster than light….

"Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another".

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Law of Conservation of Rajni

All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
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Once a photo of Rajnikant was givenfor Xerox. Don't even try to guess what happened…
We got two copies of the Xerox machine.

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One more:

Once upon a time
Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth

Today that powder is known as

"AMBUJA CEMENT"