My Soul Delighteth

Gospel Art by Little People

2013-02-03T18:30:00.001-07:00

My five year old son is becoming quite the artist. His favorite medium is crayons (I think because of the range of colors). His favorite subject lately has been super heroes (specifically the Avengers). He also enjoys drawing planets and space ships and space wars, etc.

Today during sacrament meeting he blew me out of the water with this excellent depiction of Captain Moroni.

It melted my heart. This kid is a sweetheart. (I won't tell you what song he was humming while he drew this picture in the middle of sacrament meeting... It's a song I am ashamed to say he was exposed to at a friends' house. We've got to be a little more vigilant about keeping our kids safe from questionable movies and music *sigh* it can be so hard sometimes!)

When I picked him up from Primary, he had a new masterpiece to share! Joseph Smith in the sacred grove:

I think his teacher helped him with Joseph kneeling, and I was mildly disappointed that the picture didn't include the First Vision with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, but honestly, the fact that my kid is drawing gospel art is just really touching.

Along the lines of the exposure discussion, he wouldn't be drawing pictures of scripture stories and scripture heroes if he hasn't been exposed to them. We try to expose them to gospel art a lot - from the posters on their bedroom walls to using the gospel art book for FHE to visiting the Church History museum and more.

It's always nice to see fruits from your labors.

Do you expose your children to gospel art and pictures of the scripture stories?How do you use gospel art in your daily life with your kids and in your study of the gospel?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Patriarchal Order

2012-12-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

(Note: these are mostly my raw notes from a class I attended at BYU Education Week. I haven’t included much of my own insights and feelings, so feel free to chime in with some of your own observations, and quotes, etc from other sources I haven’t mentioned)

(EDIT 1/20/2013: A fellow blogger, Heather @ Women in the Scriptures recently posted an excellent piece about what it means to "preside" which I think goes hand in hand with the ideas in this post, and would be an excellent read if you are looking for more of what that means: find the post here

The priesthood structure in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is patriarchal. That is exactly what it is, and it is designed to be that way by God. But what that means is sometimes confusing, and leads a lot of men (and women) to think that men are somehow superior to, more important than, or the “ruler” of some kind – basically that men should lead and women should follow. This understanding is an inaccurate understanding of what patriarchal order means in the Church.

Last summer I attended BYU Education Week and attended a class about the patriarchal order and leadership in marriage. I haven’t typed up my notes for the blog yet, and I figured I should since I learned a lot of good things.

The instructor talked about three doctrines involved in the understanding of patriarchal order. We talked a little bit about other doctrines that have to be taken together to get the whole picture – for example, grace and works, justice and mercy, etc. If you look at only one of the doctrines, then you miss the picture and you get an incomplete understand of the full doctrine.

In order to understand the patriarchal order in the Church, we have to look at three doctrines:

1.) Men Preside
2.) Men and Women are Absolute Equals
3.) Gospel Leadership Means Service

Men Preside

The first doctrine, “Men Preside” at first sounds like men are in some way above women. The Merriam-Webster definition of preside states “to exercise guidance, direction, or control.” I think the first two are the most suitable in this situation – that a father presides to exercise guidance and direction, not necessarily control. The definition also includes “to occupy the place of authority.”

Elder Deal L. Larsen said, “In the Lord’s system of government, every organization unit must have a presiding officer. He has decreed that in the family organization the father assumes this role. He bears the priesthood ordination. He is accountable before the Lord for this leadership.”

Our instructor also mentioned that the patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose. We may not know exactly what that is in this life. We may know ever really know why men preside and not women, but we know that’s the way the Lord has instructed us to do it, and I do not think that it takes something away from women to not preside. I think it’s more about order.

Some responsibilities associated with presiding are
- lead with love, gentleness, and kindness
- preside at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening
- teach correct principles
- give father’s blessings
- conduct father’s interviews
- participate in children’s discipline
- sacrifice for the well being of the family
- set a good example
- live a family centered life

I don’t see anything in this list that would suggest that a man is “above” a woman in presiding. It is simply the order of things. And just because something is in this list does not mean that women cannot also do it. Even presiding at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening – at times a mother may preside in these instances.

Presiding implies taking initiative. The husband, in presiding, initiates gospel living in the home. He should not be the one dragged along by his wife or children.

Satan takes a lot of divine things and twists them around. He takes things that are sacred and beautiful and makes them profane and obscene. He has done the same thing with the patriarchal order and convinced men (and women) that since a man presides over his family that somehow means that he is more important than his wife, or he has the final say, or his wife’s input is not as important.

If we look only at the doctrine that men preside, our doctrine certainly appears chauvinistic and oppressive. We can’t stop here, we have to look at the other very important doctrines.

Men and Women are Absolute Equals

The second doctrine in the patriarchal order is “Men and Women are Absolute Equals”.

Elder L. Tom Perry said,

Remember, brethren, that in your role as leader in the family, your wife is your companion. As President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.”Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity.Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.

While the husband may preside spiritually over the family (which really just means that he has a responsibility to guide and direct his family – basically show his family how to live the gospel and how to return to Heavenly Father), the wife stands by his side at the head of the family. She is not like the husband’s child. She is to stand with him, united “as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit.”

We talked about a few different kinds of “leaders” in a family.

The Dictator – there are actually two different types of dictators. There is a tyrant, who terrorizes his wife into doing what he wants her to do. “You will do this.” And then there is what our teacher called the “benevolent dictator”. This is the man who comes to his wife when it is time to make a decision on something, such as buying a new car, and says “Honey, what kind of car do you think we should buy?”, listens politely, and then goes out and buys whatever he wants to buy.

Reluctant Leader – this is the man who doesn’t really want to lead a family. He would rather let his wife take care of everything while he goes out to play (or stays in to play, as the case may be). The wife has to step up and lead the family because her husband won’t.

Figurehead – this is the leader who gets pushed out of the way by her wife. He appears to be the leader in the family, but the wife takes everything over without even consulting him (this, I might add, would be when the wife is the dictator). This man may want to be the leader in the home, and when questioned the wife may actually say he is the leader, but in reality she does it all. A lot of times this comes because the wife has an attitude of “I can do it better than you” rather than letting the husband lead the way he knows how, and encouraging him. In Father, Consider Your Ways, the twelve apostles counseled husbands (and wives) that fatherhood and the associated leadership “is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of law and [divine] appointment.” I think a lot of women might do well to remember that. It’s not about our husband’s being the best at being a husband or father, it’s about them being called. Just like it’s not about the Relief Society President being the best for the job – it’s about the Bishop having called her to be the president, and us sustaining her in that calling.

But none of these types of leaders are in harmony with gospel doctrine. The doctrine says that we should be equal partners. So what does that look like?

Equal Partners – both partners have veto power. Decisions are unanimous. If husband and wife don’t both agree, then the issue is tabled until they can agree. Honestly this is hard because sometimes it means that nothing gets done. Look at the United States Congress – and they don’t even have to have a unanimous vote! But that doesn’t change the fact that in order to be equal partners you must both agree. And sometimes that involved compromise (which is not a bad thing). Marion G. Romney reminded us that “Neither [husband nor wife] should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together.”

Another example our instructor used was that of two signatures on a check. Every decision requires two signatures – the husband’s, and the wife’s. He also mentioned that this is how the quorum of the twelve apostles works – all decisions have to be unanimous before the decision is official.

Gospel Leadership Means Service

The third doctrine we have to consider is that “Gospel Leadership Means Service”. “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” Christ presides over His Church this way – as our servant. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught us that we should be a “leader-servant”. The question a gospel leader should ask is “How can I help?” rather than “How can I help myself?” The father, as the leader of the family, is this “leader-servant”.

It’s almost important to remember that the presiding done by a father in the home is a spiritual leadership, rather than a governmental or political leadership. That is what Elder Perry meant when he said there is no “president” in the family. There is a man who is a spiritual leader, which means he is a “leader-servant”.

Joseph F. Smith taught men how to treat their wives, “Parents … should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children.”

President Boyd K. Packer also taught men about serving their wives and children.

It was not meant that the woman alone accommodate herself to the priesthood duties of her husband or her sons. She is of course to sustain and support and encourage them.
Holders of the priesthood, in turn, must accommodate themselves to the needs and responsibilities of the wife and mother. Her physical and emotional and intellectual and cultural well-being and her spiritual development must stand first among his priesthood duties.
There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not his equal obligation. The tasks which come with parenthood, which many consider to be below other tasks, are simply above them.

Those outside the Church think that ordination to the Priesthood means “power” in the worldly sense. The true meaning of the Priesthood in the Church means service and protection. President David O. McKay described Priesthood power like the power of a reservoir of water,

We can conceive of the power of the priesthood as being potentially existent as an impounded reservoir of water. Such power becomes dynamic and productive of good only when the liberated force becomes active in valleys, fields, gardens, and happy homes. So the priesthood, as related to humanity, is a principle of power only as it becomes active in the lives of men, turning their hearts and desires toward God and prompting service to their fellowmen.
…I say that because the priesthood you hold means that you are to serve others.

The Priesthood has no power until it is used to serve others.

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How have you seen the principle of patriarchal leadership twisted by Satan? What blessings come to families when patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly, when husbands and father are servant-leaders and equal partners with their wives? Do you feel like patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly in your home? In your ward?

Separating Culture from Doctrine: The Lesson Handout

2012-12-16T16:11:00.001-07:00

This is the first post in a new series called “Separating Culture from Doctrine”, where we talk about places where culture has been mistaken as doctrine among the members of the Church. I wanted to start with the dress code myth, but I decided to let that issue cool off a bit before I tackled it again. So I’m starting with something a little less controversial (I hope!) and somewhat lighthearted, but I would like to eventually tackle some things that are harder to separate. Do you know of a part of Mormon culture that many members of the Church mistake as doctrine? Have you heard of something in the Church that people make out to be doctrinal, and you’re not sure if it is? Let me know in the comments, or drop me an email or a post on Facebook (see “Subscribe and Connect” on the sidebar for links) and I will do the research and find out how much is doctrine, and how much is culture.

When I was in the Young Women program (the Church’s youth program for 12-18 year old girls) I kept a binder with a bunch of pages inside of sheet protectors. Whenever I would get a handout in Young Women or Sunday School I would glue it to one of the pages in this binder. I kept the for years, but I never used it, and eventually I scanned all the pages into my computer (which I haven’t look at since – until today when I was writing this post and wanted to include a picture of one of the pages).

Obviously those handouts had a huge impact on my life. Or not.

In fact, I don’t even remember the lessons they went to (not specifically). The lessons did make an impact in my life, and in the building of my testimony, but I don’t associate the handouts with those lessons. In fact, I remember every one of my YW and Sunday School teachers from my time as a youth, but I couldn’t tell you what any of them taught me. What I could tell you is that each one of them was an amazing example to me and the fire of their testimonies lit a fire in me.

They didn’t need the handouts to do that.

And neither do you.

Mormon Myth #1 – Handouts are an integral, and even necessary, part of a lesson. They help the class members remember the lesson, and are part of your calling as a teacher.

Truth: Preparing handouts can take precious time away from study and prayer that is an integral and necessary part of a lesson. The Holy Ghost teaches class members, and the Holy Ghost helps class members remember the lesson – not you, and not your handouts. As a teacher your focus should be on prayerfully studying the lesson material and listening for inspiration to know what questions will elicit the most beneficial discussion for your class members.

Our Church Web site now provides access to all of the general conference addresses and other contents of Church magazines for the past 30 years. Teachers can download bales of information on any subject. When highly focused, a handout can enrich. But a bale of handouts can detract from our attempt to teach gospel principles with clarity and testimony. Stacks of supplementary material can impoverish rather than enrich, because they can blur students’ focus on the assigned principles and draw them away from prayerfully seeking to apply those principles in their own lives. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Focus and Priorities, April 2001 General Conference)

I hear women say that their callings are wearing them out or that they don’t have time to serve. But magnifying our callings does not mean staying up all night preparing handouts and elaborate table decorations. It does not mean that each time we do our visiting teaching we have to take something to our sisters. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Let’s simplify. The message of a good lesson comes through spiritual preparation. Let’s put our focus on the principles of the gospel and on the material in our study guides. Let’s prepare to create an interesting exchange of ideas through discussion, not through extra, invented work that makes us so weary we come to resent the time we spend in fulfilling our callings. (Sister Kathleen H. Hughes, Out of Small Things, October 2004 General Conference)

Dedicating some of our time to studying the scriptures or preparing to teach a lesson is a good sacrifice. Spending many hours stitching the title of the lesson into homemade pot holders for each member of your class perhaps may not be. (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Forget Me Not, 2011 General Relief Society Broadcast)

Mother was a great teacher who was diligent and thorough in her preparation. I have distinct memories of the days preceding her lessons. The dining room table would be covered with reference materials and the notes she was preparing for her lesson. There was so much material prepared that I’m sure only a small portion of it was ever used during the class, but I’m just as sure that none of her preparation was ever wasted. …What she didn’t use in her class she used to teach her children. (Elder L. Tom Perry, Mothers Teaching Children in the Home, April 2010 General Conference)

I’m sure no one’s soul was damaged in the preparation of the handouts my teachers made for me in Young Women and Sunday School, and I am not passing judgment on them and neither should you. This isn’t about judging people. It’s about talking about what is culture, and what is doctrine.

The Mormon culture encourages us to spend a little time on the praying and studying part, and then a lot of time on the handout part. This same principle can be applied to Young Women and Relief Society programs that get so involved the spirit is missed, and the only thing people remember are the cute decorations and handouts. They don’t remember the spirit they felt (if they felt the spirit at all) and they don’t remember the lesson taught.

We should be so careful to focus on what really matters.

I want to tell you about our Ward Christmas dinner. The dinner was fantastic, homecooked, gourmet food, and the decorations were intricate and handmade. The cultural hall felt like a winter wonderland. The atmosphere was lovely, the music was touching, and the company was wonderful, as usual. If I didn’t know the sister who was in charge I may have been tempted to think it was a little over done. But I know this sister and I know that she took great pleasure and joy in creating a beautiful environment for us to enjoy a delicious meal. She was very good at it, and I know that she didn’t stress out about it at all. In fact, I bet planning and preparing for that ward party was the most relaxing thing she has done in a while.

I related this story so that you can know that we should not be judgmental of sisters who make elaborate handouts for Relief Society lessons. Nor should we be judgmental of sisters who don’t make elaborate handouts for lessons.

(as a side note – if you give me a non-edible handout in Relief Society I will probably dispose of it in my recycling bin as soon as I get home – I do not like paper, and I despise clutter – handouts, in my opinion, are frequently clutter – and I do not want your little decoration you made for me. It probably doesn’t fit into my décor. These are things to think about as well when you are thinking about preparing a handout. If the handout is edible I will most definitely eat it.)

Let us please keep in mind that the Spirit is the real teacher when we “teach” a class. The handouts are cute, but most of them end up in the trash anyway. Save a tree – use the Spirit.

For more instruction on teaching the gospel, see the Church’s handbook, Teaching, No Greater Call. There are no handouts – just in case you were wondering.

How do you use the Spirit to teach your class? Do you use handouts? Have you ever spent too much time on the handout and not enough time on your lesson? Can you think of ways when a handout might be appropriate?

Of Action Groups and Sunday Pants

2012-12-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

When I first read through the Facebook event description of the Wear Pants to Church Day event sponsored by the action group All Enlisted, I wasn’t particularly alarmed. Really, I agreed with most of their intentions. In fact, just last night I was talking with my husband about how most members of the Church frequently mistake Church culture for Church doctrine.

I have said before (simply echoing Church leaders) that the doctrine of the Church is actually very limited. Anything beyond the true doctrine is policy, policy we believe is based on an understanding of doctrine and revelation. Policy we sustain in General Conference twice a year as we sustain the leaders who we trust to make the policies Heavenly Father feels are best for our time (which means they – the policies – do change).

The Fight Against Cultural Myths: A War Worth Fighting

Back to my first impressions of the Wear Pants to Church Day event. I loved much of what the sisters said on the Facebook page. I think what tempered the whole description for me was their first paragraph, the reading of which almost caused me to shout “Amen! Hallelujah!”

Did you know that church leaders have not discouraged women from wearing pants since 1971? … After many reports of overt or silent judgment, a group of LDS women decided it was time to stop the perpetuation of the cultural myth that there is something wrong with women wearing pants. (emphasis added)

I felt that they were actually acknowledging that the problem in the Church (judgment over women wearing pants/people wearing jeans/tennis shoes/colored shirts/etc to Church) is a cultural myth, rather than some Church policy. And before you start tossing out quotes from General Authorities counseling us to wear this or wear that, let me remind you of Elder Christofferson’s most excellent and timely talk in April 2012 General Conference during which he appropriately reminded us,

…it should be remembered that not every statement made by a Church leader, past or present, necessarily constitutes doctrine. It is commonly understood in the Church that a statement made by one leader on a single occasion often represents a personal, though well-considered, opinion, not meant to be official or binding for the whole Church.

So you can erase your comment with a quote from some apostle or prophet that said you should wear a white shirt while passing the sacrament. That’s great, if you have a white shirt. If you want to wear a white shirt. Owning a white shirt or having a desire to wear a white shirt is not a prerequisite to being ordained to any priesthood office, or performing any priesthood duty. If you feel like you should wear a white shirt to perform your priesthood duties, great for you. If you don’t think it matters, good for you. What matters is that you are worthy to perform those duties – which has more to do with the heart than the outward appearance.

The sisters describing their demonstration kept getting more and more points with me as the description went on –

“The Church has not attempted to indicate just how long women’s or girls’ dresses should be nor whether they should wear pant suits or other types of clothing.”--LDS Church Presidency (1971)

“Attending church is about worship and learning to be followers of Jesus Christ. Generally, church members are encouraged to wear their best clothing as a sign of respect for the savior, but we don't counsel people beyond that.” –official church statement December 12, 2012

Why, this is most excellent! Someone is helping educate the masses about how dumb we all are for thinking that cultural norms (even Church culture ones) are somehow what the doctrine of the Church mandates. Or even Church policy. Obviously, women wearing skirts is not Church policy, and I thought these great women did an excellent job explaining that.

The Bait-and-Switch

I must have skimmed through the rest of the description because no red flags went off until I read the post a second time.

This event is the first act of All Enlisted, a direct action group for Mormon women to advocate for equality within our faith. … we do want the LDS Church and its members to acknowledge the similarities [between men and women]. We believe that much of the cultural, structural, and even doctrinal inequality that persists in the LDS church today stems from the church's reliance on – and enforcement of – rigid gender roles that bear no relationship to reality.

Wait a minute! You just told me that your goal was to correct a cultural myth, but you’ve just pulled a bait-and-switch on me! Now you’re telling me that you want “equality within our faith” and you see “doctrinal inequalit[ies]” in the Church, perpetuated by “the church’s … enforcement of … rigid gender roles.”

I had so much hope – this was almost a group I could stand behind. I was excited that someone was trying to address the cultural myths that seems to be endlessly perpetuated in the Church. These cultural myths are not perpetuated by the General Authorities, or by Church policy. On the contrary, I have heard the prophets and apostles constantly hounding us in General Conference, urging us to give up the culture and live the doctrine. It’s the members of the Church falling short of the counsel of the prophets that perpetuates cultural myths.

Stoning People for Their Sins

My thoughts went immediately to the new Church website, Love One Another. Nothing found on that website is news. There are some great personal stories, which I think are very effective in breaking down culture – when people can see what happens in cultures outside their little bubbles, they are more appropriately armed to take down the culture in their own bubbles. None of the doctrine on the Church’s new website is different from anything that has been preached previously. Since Christ walked the earth we have been counseled to love one another regardless of our differences, regardless of the sins of others. It was Christ himself who said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”, the adulterer.

It is not our place to stone people to death, literally or figuratively, for their sins.

A Misguided Discussion

The purpose of the Wear Pants to Church Day demonstration was not the only thing that bothered me about the entire situation. The comments that have been elicited have been equally as disturbing. Comments such as,

“What if these women have received revelation that this change needed to be enacted?”

“I'm offended you would ask me to wear a colored shirt, one that I shouldn't be wearing while performing priesthood ordinances.”

“maybe … the ones that have left will come back knowing that the church is finally putting action towards attitudes”

“the Lord has told us that dresses are a sign of reverence and he has asked us to wear them..its not a commandment … but we are to listen to the Lord and to our prophets”

“I feel sadness for the sisters that feel hurt and confused enough to feel they need to participate in this, because it means that they have not yet gained a true testimony of the divinity of womanhood in the Lord's plan of happiness, and how ESSENTIAL we are to that plan”

“To me, their reasons are that they don't understand the basics of the gospel. They don't understand the priesthood and womanhood. And that this is the Lord's church. They don't understand the symbolism of the temple.”

I have problems with all of these comments. People are either continuing to perpetuate the cultural myths by spouting their misguided understandings of Church policy (the colored shirt comment) or they are confusing culture with doctrine.

People who are helping to perpetuate cultural myths need to stop it, and people who are confusing culture with doctrine need to stop it.

And all of us need to stop judging each other. I said to my husband that it seems like the people who think you should only wear dresses are judging the women who would like to wear pants, and the women who would like to wear pants without being judged are judging the very women they accuse of judging them.

Let us please apply Uchdorf’s Hammer: STOP IT!

An Action Group For Cultural Change

Where does this leave me?

Wanting to form an action group for women who want to promote charity and the doctrine of the Church. Women who want to break down the cultural myths and replace them with kindness, love unfeigned, boundless compassion, and non-judgmental attitudes.

So I thought to myself “Why not form one?” An action group – dedicated to these very things.

Our motto would be “Charity never faileth.”

And then I remembered – there is already an action group for that.

It’s called Relief Society.

The Savior Himself has organized the women of the Church into an action group. One that should be at the forefront of breaking down cultural myths. A group that should be at the forefront of compassionate outreach to women who feel marginalized and pushed aside.

It is a worldwide sisterhood, but at the same time, it is a grassroots movement. Each ward has a Relief Society specifically and specially equipped to deal with the issues in that particular ward. Why? In my ward, the women in my Relief Society, the women who need my help, are my neighbors. I live, work, and play in the same places as them. I see them on a regular basis. If I am doing my job as a disciple of Christ, I am listening to the pain in their hearts. I can see if they are being ostracized by judgmental skirt-wearers. I should be observant and recognize when they feel left out because their husband is blessing their baby and no one gives them the accolades they deserve for gestating, laboring, and delivering that beautiful baby. If I am doing my duty as a real Christian, I will be reaching out to include the broken hearted, those who are different in whatever way – whether it be homosexuality, divorce, single motherhood, whatever makes them different, I can be the one who reaches out and helps them feel unity and love under the umbrella of compassion and charity.

So I have no need to start an action group. The Savior did that already. But I am renewing my membership. I am gearing up to be the best member of this action group I can be.

Who’s with me?

The Lie of Perfection

2012-11-13T17:19:00.001-07:00

Earlier this summer I wrote about spending “some” time in the scriptures every day. Today I was thinking about that again.

I know you all have been missing me on the blog (don’t tell me if you haven’t – I like to pretend I am important), and if you read my most recent post on Real Intent you might understand why I have been out of commission for a while. It’s hard to write about spiritual things when you feel utterly non-spiritual.

In short, my soul has not been doing a lot of delighting lately.

Part of that is pregnancy hormones (antepartum depression, anyone?), and part of it is a lack of patience and accepting God’s will. Cheryl wrote recently about how she always thought curve balls would come in a certain way, and the curve balls actually came in different forms than she had anticipated. I think part of my failure to endure is because the trials and adversity that I am experiencing are exactly the last thing I thought I would ever have to endure. I thought that because of choices I had made that I would be protected somehow from these trials.

Ha.

God can’t/won’t/doesn’t (not sure which one) usually protect us from any trials. He gives them to us maybe a little too willingly for our tastes, but He knows that we can handle it. And He provides a way for us to overcome or bear them. Every time.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

You’d think I had failed seminary with all the scripture mastery verses I seem to be forgetting these days.

You’re probably wondering at this point what on earth the title of this post has to do with the actual post. Well, nothing, yet. I got distracted.

This post has to do with me learning (again … funny how Heavenly Father has to teach us the same lessons over and over and over again … if only I would learn it the first time!) that I do not have to do everything all the time every day.

What does that mean?

It means that I do not have to study the scriptures for four hours a day. One verse, even reading my favorite verse is sufficient, and if I have time one day to study for an hour or so, then great. But forgoing scripture study because I can’t study the way I want to or think I should is a dumb reason not to study the scriptures.

“Spend some time in the scriptures each day.” – Sister Beck

It means that I do not have to clean all three bathrooms in my house all the way in one day. There is no way I can feed my children, dress my children, eat healthy food myself, and keep the house reasonably clean, plus have a little time to read or do something relaxing/recreational and clean all the bathrooms all the way in one day. It’s just not possible. Even if I think to myself “I have no plans today, I can do the bathrooms today.” Ha. Not likely, and I am probably just setting myself up for failure. However, not being able to clean every corner of the bathrooms every day does not mean I should never clean the bathrooms at all.

The other day I wiped down the counters and called it good. And guess what? I felt like I had done something! I didn’t need to be perfect. Today I cleaned all of one bathroom, (the counter was already wiped – ha!) and mopped the kitchen floor. There are still dishes to be done, but the floor is clean.

I don’t have to do it all, all at once.

“Oh, please. Just let the Savior cover this day.
Let Him cover my inability to do and be everything I need to be and can’t be today.
Please let the atonement cover it.”
– Becca Riding, Cover Me, I’m Going In

The lie of perfection is that it is required of us to be 100% perfect 100% of the time, or we are complete and utter failures.

Hello – we are, by virtue of our mortal state, imperfect, and thereby “failures” (through this lens of this lie of perfection).

The hope comes in the atonement, and in doing the best we can.

Yes, I am applying the atonement to cleaning bathrooms.

Because of the atonement, I can wash the toilet in one of my bathrooms and feel like I have done enough. Some days it might be an entire bathroom, and some days it might be all three bathrooms but not the kitchen floor. Some days it might be one load of laundry and we eat frozen corn dogs for dinner.

The atonement covers all that. (if you haven’t read Becca Riding’s post about that over at Diapers and Divinity, you should. It is excellent).

One of the commenters on that post said, “As a mother I tend to put things off til the moment when all is well and no one needs me” But someone or something will always need us, and we cannot do it all, all at the same time, perfectly.

Thank heavens for the atonement.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of “perfection”? Or do you rely on the Savior’s atonement to perfect you, rather than your own works? Do you do nothing, for fear of coming up short? Or do you realize that no matter how much you do, you will always come up short, and then do as much as you can and let the atonement cover everything else?

Image Credit: Heath Robbins

High Time

2012-09-12T08:00:00.000-06:00

I was studying the Daughters in My Kingdom book this past week, anxiously reading so that I can finish it in time for the General Relief Society meeting on September 29. I was reading in Chapter 4 and the book started describing how the women of the Church boldly defended the practice of polygamy (the irony of that is not lost on me – especially given the amount of discomfort and desire to explain it away by women – and men – of the Church today). The book describes how the United States government passed legislation banning polygamy due to the opinion of the rest of society that Mormon women were degraded and abused under the law of polygamy. In January 1870, a group of Latter-day Saint women decided to speak to the world – for themselves – and let them know what active, faithful Latter-day Saint women were really like.

Image Credit: Daughters in My Kingdom p. 44

Eliza R. Snow said of the occasion:

“It was high time [to] rise up in the dignity of our calling and speak for ourselves. . . . The world does not know us, and truth and justice to our brethren and to ourselves demands us to speak. . . . We are not inferior to the ladies of the world, and we do not want to appear so.”

I have felt in the past several months that the world does not understand Mormon women. The world still thinks that Mormon women are oppressed, somehow treated as less than men in our Church, because we aren’t ordained to priesthood offices, and because a woman will never be The Prophet. And most of the people who seem to speak about what faithful Mormon want are not, in fact, faithful Mormon women.

Two cases to illustrate my point:

One of the most vocal Mormon women about the inequalities and injustices that Mormon women face is a woman who of her own choice (so she says) has never been through the temple, has never experienced the endowment of priesthood power given freely in the temple ordinances – and then vehemently argues that women should be ordained to priesthood offices in the Church (and that the Church should embrace same-gender marriage, among other things).

Recently, on the Mormon in America primetime special on NBC, the person they chose to interview about the temple was a Mormon woman who had left the Church and had never been through the temple – again, never been endowed with the knowledge and priesthood power that comes from the ordinances and covenants made in the Holy temple.

The loudest voices these days are women (and men) who criticize Church leaders, clamor for “change” in the Church structure, and describe most faithful saints as disillusioned, unintellectual, or somehow brainwashed. If you really knew anything, you would know that the Church needs some serious change to occur before it is actually the true Church. Oh, but the gospel is true. (says these people)

I have been feeling an increased urgency to stand up and speak out. To be louder than the dissenting voices. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she made the observation that most women in the Church are not like the women (and men) who are the loudest voices of the Church. As blogger SilverRain put it recently,

“In this dichotomy [perpetuated by the loudest voices], there are two groups of women in the Church: those who see a problem with the way women are utilized and heard in the Church, have likely been adversely affected by it, and who therefore choose to “agitate for change;” and those who have never felt the pain a male-only Priesthood can bring to women, who don’t question the authority, and who therefore urge women to, essentially, “sit down and shut up” about it.

But there is another group, of women who have likely been mistreated or misunderstood by a member of the male-only priesthood in the past, or of women who have never been hurt but have still pondered these issues deeply, who would like to see hearts change, but who believe that the male-only Priesthood structure is in place at the will of the Lord, and who support the Lord’s authority structure and the Lord’s established methods for any change that will come.”

In my experience, the largest group is the third group that SilverRain points out. Also, in my experience, the most silent group is that third group. They are the women who are not writing inflammatory blog posts. Rather, they are writing stories of spiritual inspiration in their journals for their posterity who have been born in the covenant. They are not openly criticizing Church leaders or policies on very public news websites, newspapers, and news channels. Rather, they are silently sustaining those Church leaders by magnifying their callings, providing compassionate service in their wards and branches, and instructing one another in the doctrines of the gospel. They are not fighting for same-sex marriage, but rather they are ardently defending the family within the walls of their own homes, shunning pornography, protecting their children from the influences of the world, studying the scriptures, and praying with their families. They may be silent, but from what I have seen they are strong.

Image Credit: LDS Church News

We cannot be silent any longer. It is “high time [to] rise up in the dignity of our calling and speak for ourselves. . . . The world does not know us, and truth and justice to our brethren and to ourselves demands us to speak. . . . We are not inferior to the ladies [of the Church who speak out], and we do not want to appear so.”

Women of the Church – you faithful, righteous women. It’s high time to rise up in the dignity of your calling and speak for yourselves. Come join us. Come speak up with us. Come help us show the world what it really means to be a Latter-day Saint woman, a disciple of Christ.

How can you speak up in your circle of influence? How can you expand your circle of influence and be part of a “wide and extensive sphere of action”? Will you rise up and speak for yourself?

365 Days in my Journal

2012-07-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Last fall I made a goal to write 365 days in a row in my journal (I made it to 69 days). I am an avid journaler, and have been since about 1997 when my Aunt gave me my first real journal ever, with this message inside the front cover:

It reads:

To Rebecca - Writing Journal -
I've learned if you want to be a writer, you need to write everyday or at least every other day.
Happy Writing
Love
Aunt Wilma

When I was a child I dreamed of being a writer. I wrote short stories, children's books, and poetry almost obsessively since I was about 6 or 7. I still remember writing my first "real" story on Word Perfect '95 on an old IBM computer with a blue screen and F keys. Before that I would write stories on our Macintosh that had a program that would read aloud what you had written in this horrible computerized man's voice.

I have since grown out of writing stories (mostly). Although up until probably college I would write the first 15-20 pages of countless stories. Some of them were pretty good. I would also write by hand in my notebooks at school. In high school I continued to write poetry and was even published in my high school's literary magazine, which I helped edit. It wasn't anything amazing, but I really enjoyed creative writing.

Now I mostly write for my blog, and in my journal. I'm not a great writer - I think I just have a lot to say (if you know me in person you know that I will talk your ear off, given the chance). But I believe in writing.

At this point I have begun to ramble, and honestly I am not entirely sure why I starting writing this post in the first place.

I guess to just share with you my love of writing. For some reason I feel uninhibited when I write. I don't feel like I have to put up a facade or pretend I am not really who I am. I don't have to worry (too much) about tact or political correctness. I can just open up and share my thoughts. It's like ultimate access to the real me.

Honestly, that is probably the reason why I don't tell people who actually know me (i.e., my ward, my friends, my family) about my blog. In person I am able to gauge the response I get from others and mold and shift what I say and how I say it, and carefully choose the topics of conversation, so that no one feels threatened, so that no one feels uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that can also end up being kind of boring.

This ended up being a lot more personal than I intended, but I think it feels good to get it out there.

Here is a picture of my four journals:

The red and black journal spans from my first entry in December 1997 (when I received the journal) to June 2004 shortly after my graduation from high school.

The blue fairy/ballerina bunny journal was the next one I wrote in - I received it from a close friend for our high school graduation. I am still not sure why I used it... It was really not my style, as you can tell. I probably used it because I love that particular friend. That one spans from June 2004 to July 1, 2005. The black spiral journal is July 2005 to March 2010 and represents the fullest period of my life so far - that one contains my courtship, engagement, wedding, two pregnancies and births, and about 6 moves. It includes my husband joining the military, months and months of separation due to military training, and a lot of stress and anxiety. In fact, I think the 5 years in that journal were probably some of the most anxious years of my life.

The fat black leather journal on the far right is my current journal. From March 2010 until today, July 2012, and I am about half way through (the pages are pretty thick - probably 4 times as thick as the red and black journal).

My current journal is a journal of healing, a record of finding peace, understanding the refiner's fire, and growing so fast it hurt. I am hoping that the next several years can fill this journal with more peace, with joy, love, and strength.

I am going to start the 365 day challenge over again today. I was much more sane when I was writing every day. I dare you to join me!

Do you keep a journal? How often do you write? When did you start keeping a journal?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Teaching and Agency

2012-03-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

I mentioned yesterday in my Sunday Study Link Up that I was going to start studying the Teaching, No Greater Call manual (hereafter referred to as TNGC). Since the best place to start is the beginning I just read the first chapter. The first part of the manual is Part A: The Importance of Gospel Teaching in God’s Plan.

The first statement that really stood out to me in the manual was this “To be able to fully exercise our agency in righteousness, we must learn of the Savior and the doctrines of His gospel.” (p. 3). I read an absolutely fabulous post over on Faithful Freja about the fall of Adam and Eve and agency. Freja pointed out some important principles of agency:

1.) You must have a choice.
2.) You must know the alternatives.
3.) You must have an indication of divine will.
4.) You must have absolute freedom to choose.

In order to fully exercise agency it is not enough to simply have a choice. We have to know what the Savior wants us to do (have an indication of divine will). We cannot fully exercise our agency if we do not understand the principles of the gospel and the plan of salvation. It’s like the oft-quoted scene from Alice in Wonderland when Alice asked the Cheshire cat which direction she should go, and the cat replies, “That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.” There has to be some kind of understanding of what the right choice is, otherwise we’re not really making a choice – we’re just… doing whatever. (which seems like a kind of lame way to live)

As I read this chapter in TNGC, I was reminded of the purpose of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you were asked what you think the purpose of the Church is, what would you say?

Here’s what the Church’s official purpose is:

To “provide the organization and means for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of God’s children. It provides the priesthood authority to administer the ordinances of salvation and exaltation to all who are worthy and willing to accept them.”

So the purpose of the Church is to teach the gospel. And then of course to administer the ordinances necessarily for exaltation. The Church exists so that the children of God can be taught. In TNGC the question is asked, “Can you imagine a duty more noble or sacred?” (p. 4)

This leads us to the question, “Who is a teacher?”

There were some scripture references given in TNGC that I would love to study but I don’t have time this evening. They basically teach us that Christ’s followers are expected to teach the gospel to their family, to other members of the Church, and to those who haven’t yet received the gospel. Remember that saying “Every member a missionary?” What is a missionary, really? Every member is a teacher – I would say first and foremost, a teacher. “The responsibility to teach the gospel is not limited to those who have formal callings as teachers.” If you think about how every person has their own perspective of the world and life, and no two experiences are the same, and we need to learn everything it makes sense that we are all teachers, but we all need to learn from each other.

We are called upon, as teachers, to “increase [our] understanding and improve [our] skill” as teachers. The Lord has taught us, “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain myword, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men.” As teachers, we must increase our understanding and our skill – and I believe we do that by following the Lord’s admonition. The most important principle in which we need to increase our understanding is that of the plan of salvation. That is the purpose of this life – to understand and follow the plan of salvation – but we cannot follow something that we do not understand.

As we seek first to obtain an understanding of the plan of salvation we will be blessed to be more effective teachers – whatever our circumstances may be.

How do you “increase your understanding and improve your skill” as you teach? In what ways are you a teacher?

General Conference 101–What is General Conference?

2012-03-18T23:33:00.000-06:00

Because I love General Conference (seriously, it’s probably my favorite holiday, after Christmas and Easter – and it even occasionally coincides with Easter! Now all they need to do is move fall General Conference to Christmas, and we’ll be set!) I will be posting “Conference 101” – a series about General Conference and how to prepare and what to expect and how to keep your children focused. I’m pretty excited to gather all these resources – for my own benefit as well as yours!

I figured that the best place to start is with the basics, so the purpose for my first post will be to explain a little bit about what General Conference is.

If you don’t know already, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) believe that God has a living prophet on the earth today, as well as twelve apostles (who are just like the twelve apostles that were called to be “fishers of men” when Jesus lived on the earth). see Article of Faith 6 here This is an amazing blessing, because a prophet is the mouthpiece of the Lord, and it means that if we listen to the counsel of the prophet and try to follow that counsel, we will be following the Lord and we will be blessed. see more about following prophets here

Since it’s so important to listen to and obey the prophets, we should have a way to hear them speak regularly. One of the ways we can “hear” the words of the prophets is to read the First Presidency Message published each month in Church magazines called the “Ensign” and the “Liahona”. This message is usually pretty short (although the magazine typically contains many articles by the apostles and prophets, as well as other Church leaders, and Church members), but it comes every month like clockwork. You can also read it online at LDS.org.

I don’t know about you, but if there were living prophets on the earth today I would not want to only read a little blurb once a month from them. I would want to hear sermon after sermon from them!

And that is exactly what we get at General Conference.

Twice a year, in the spring (usually the first weekend in April) and then again in the fall (the first weekend in October), the entire world (including Church members) are invited to join together to listen to an entire weekend of prophets and apostles speak (as well as other Church leaders).

General Conference actually starts a few weeks before the general sessions with a special session for either the Young Women (in March) or the Relief Society – the women’s organization (in September). Then the first “general” session of the conference convenes at 10:00am (Mountain Time) on the Saturday of Conference weekend. The second general session is at 2:00pm (Mountain Time), and then at 6:00pm on Saturday there is a Priesthood session for all Priesthood holders – both Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood holders (that translates to “all men and young men ages 12+.” Then Sunday has two more general sessions, again at 10:00am and 2:00pm.

Each session is 2 hours long and consists of speakers from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, as well as members of the Quorums of the Seventy, auxiliary presidencies (Young Womens, Young Mens, Primary, Relief Society, and Sunday School), and the Presiding Bishopric.

Total that up and you get 8 hours of soaking in prophetic counsel (not counting Priesthood session and the special sessions for the women).

It may seem like a long time to sit and listen, but I crave it. I can’t get enough of it! And when it is over I can’t wait to get my copy of the General Conference Ensign so I can read the talks over and over again. Above is a picture of my October conference Ensign. It’s not nearly as marked up as my April 2011 Conference Ensign was, but I did most of my study of this conference online using the “study notebook” at LDS.org.

The conference takes place at the LDS Conference Center in downtown Salt Lake City, UT. It used to be held in the Tabernacle, but in 2000 the Conference Center was completed and the conference moved there. It seats over 21,000 people, whereas the tabernacle only seats about 7000.

How can you access General Conference? There are a lot of different methods.

Watch it Live
- You can stream live video and/or audio at lds.org
- Bonneville Communications (the company that broadcasts General Conference for the Church) has availability information on their website for cable, satellite, and radio broadcasts across the United States
- You can check BYUtv’s website to find out if your cable or satellite provider carries BYUtv, or you can just watch live streaming on BYUtv
- in Utah you can watch conference on the local station, KSL-TV
- you can even watch General Conference live on Facebook. How cool is that?

Watch/Read it Later
- videos of General Conference are usually available online (on LDS.org and on YouTube) the same day as the broadcast, with transcripts usually available within a week or two. You can find out more about the availability of General Conference materials on lds.org
- the Conference issue of the Ensign is available toward the end of April/beginning of May and can be purchased at any LDS Distribution Center, some bookstores in Utah (and probably Arizona and Idaho) and online at store.lds.org
- audio, video, and pdf podcasts are also available

Participate in the Conference Discussion
- blog about Conference!
- join in the General Conference Book Club at Diapers and Divinity!
- Tweet about conference using the hashtag #ldsconf

No matter how you participate, I am sure you will find something to touch your heart. How much you find, and how much it touches you is up to you, and I’ll share a few tips for preparing to get the most out of General Conference in the next post in this series!

What does General Conference mean to you? How do you participate? Where do you watch? Do you listen to/watch conference over and over again through the six months between sessions, or is it a one-weekend deal for you?

The Mission-Motherhood Parallel

2012-03-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

If you missed my General Conference Book Club post on Sunday, we read Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita’s talk, which made me think of Elder W. Christopher Waddell’s talk from Priesthood session, so I read them both.

This week while I was reading Elder Yamashita’s talk and Elder Waddell’s talk, I was struck with a more personal application, since I didn’t serve a proselyting mission. I was married when I was 19, and although I had always thought I would serve a mission it wasn’t a top priority for me. Marriage in the temple and starting a family were my priorities, and what I had been preparing myself for.

Studying these talks, I realized that motherhood is as much of a mission for me as any 18-month mission could have been, and I should treat it as such.

Now, I don’t want anyone who did serve a mission to think that I am minimizing their mission. I am so grateful for full time missionaries! As a missionary, your goal is to teach people (families) the gospel. As a mother, my goal is to teach little people (my family!) the gospel!

So, as a mother, I have been reading these talks about missionaries as if they were talking about mothers and motherhood.

I loved something Elder Yakashima said toward the end of his talk. He said that “through your love, you are imparting the love of God.” He was speaking to missionaries, but I just had this talk with both of my small children. At separate times in the past few days I sat with each child, snuggling in the rocking chair and I told them how much Heavenly Father loves them and that my job as a mother is to show them Heavenly Father’s love by loving them. I also admitted to them that I am not as perfect at showing love as our Father in Heaven is, but that I am doing the best I can, and I hope they will be patient with me. And of course, those precious children are so patient with me!

Elder Waddell said, “Your mission (motherhood) will become holy ground to you. You will witness the miracle of conversion as the Spirit works through you to touch the hearts of those you teach (your children).” I have been feeling motherhood become sacred ground to me. It is a holy work I am doing, although sometimes the drudgery distracts me from that holiness.

Then Elder Waddell went on to describe how to prepare to be a missionary (or mother). He said that “Becoming an effective servant of the Lord (i.e., mother) will require more than being set apart (married), putting on a name tag (getting pregnant), or entering a missionary training center (bearing children). It is a process that begins long before you are referred to as “Elder” (“Mother”).”

I was preparing for motherhood from the time I was about 11 or 12. I loved listening to General Conference talks about motherhood, I loved studying the mothers of the scriptures, the pioneer mothers, my own mothers, young mothers I knew (my Young Womens’ leaders and the moms of the kids I babysat). I read parenting books when I was still a kid (I was a little bit of a nerd – but I really wanted to know how to be the best mom since I knew that was what I wanted to do more than anything else in the world!). I read the part about teaching kids in Teaching, No Greater Call.

But I love the “prerequisites” Elder Waddell points out for missionaries, because I think they are more important than anything you could read in a parenting book.

“Arrive on your mission (in motherhood) with your own testimony of the Book of Mormon.” If you are going to be raising children who know, you have to be a mother who knows. A mother who knows that the Book of Mormon is true.

“Arrive on your mission (in motherhood) worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost.” There is nothing I can think of that has helped me be a better mother than that companionship. Nothing I have ever read or learned about motherhood has been as beneficial as having the Holy Ghost as my constant companion to teach me how to love and teach my children. Every day I fall to my knees asking the Father to give me the Holy Ghost to inspire me to say the right things, to have enough patience, to hug at the right times and to talk at the right times. I can’t do it alone. All of the books and articles and talks I have read (whether by General Authorities, LDS or secular authors) cannot even begin to fill the void that would be there if I didn’t have that companionship.

“Arrive on your mission (in motherhood) ready to work.” Well, this goes without saying. Motherhood is hard work. Before that baby arrives you have to be fully prepared to work. And I don’t mean just changing diapers and cleaning up messes. I mean the emotional, mental, and spiritual work that it takes to raise a child to the Lord. We have to be active parents, teaching our children the gospel and how to be functional human beings. And it is exhausting (and I only have two, and they are still young! I just don’t know how Susan and Monserrat feel – but I am sure it is more exhausted than I have ever felt!)

In case I didn’t say it already – I am extremely grateful for all the women I know who have served missions. They are amazing examples to me. I am also grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother, and that I can know that I can prepare myself and serve a different kind of mission as a mother.

Did you serve a mission before you became a mother? How has it helped you be a better mother? If you didn’t serve a mission before motherhood – like me – how have you learned from the examples of other missionaries, or from the purpose of missionaries?

The Opportunity and the Treasure

2012-03-04T22:12:00.001-07:00

(find the talks here – Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church – and here – The Opportunity of a Lifetime)

Over at Diapers and Divinity, we’re winding down General Conference Book Club (GCBC) – finishing up the last few talks in time for April General Conference! Who’s excited?! I am so ready for General Conference again. I think I get this way just before General Conference. It’s kind of the same feeling I get a few weeks before my birthday or Christmas. That excitement in the pit of my stomach that fills me up and makes it hard to think about anything else.

Okay, I know – I’m a Conference nerd. I know it.

Well, one thing I kind of miss when I’m participating in Steph’s GCBC is studying the talks from the Priesthood session as well as from the Relief Society and Young Women General Sessions. So when I noticed the talk for this week was Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church it reminded me of a talk I have been listening to from the Priesthood session called The Opportunity of a Lifetime (which has been on my mind lately anyway). So I decided to study both for this week, and I am glad that I did.

Your Mission – the Best Two Years For Your Life

While I liked Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita’s talk, it wasn’t one of those “Wow, this is amazing!” talks for me. However, Elder W. Christopher Waddell’s? Like candy. Especially because around the time leading up to October General Conference I had kind of got on to my husband for saying things like “On my mission I studied the gospel all the time.” “On my mission I was such a good time manager.” etc etc. Finally I told him, “Well, you know, you were supposed to be learning those things on your mission so you could do them for the rest of your life. For instance… when you became a husband and father.”

Elder Waddell talked about how to apply your mission to the rest of your life. I loved how Elder Matthew Richardson said it was “the best two years for [his] life.” Elder Waddell echoed that sentiment in his talk. He likened missionary service to the sacrifice of the unspotted lamb of the Passover, but how simply sacrificing the animal wasn’t good enough – the blood had to be applied to the door posts. This is where my husband has been struggling to apply his mission to his life now. Elder Waddell said “the ongoing blessings associated with missionary service require application after the sacrifice.” One way he encouraged his missionaries to “apply” the sacrifice of their mission to their lives was to have them “take time to consider the lessons and gifts provided to them by a generous Father in Heaven. They were asked to prayerfully list and consider how to best apply those lessons in a post-mission life”. However, Elder Waddell went on to say that, “there is no returned missionary for whom it is too late to consider the lessons obtained through faithful service and to apply them more diligently.”

The Lord Knows Where He Wants You To Serve

In Elder Waddell’s talk he mentioned that “Prophets, seers, and revelators assign missionaries under the direction and influence of the Holy Ghost.” If you have ever wondered exactly how this happens, I encourage you to read a talk give in the Priesthood Session of April 2010 General Conference given by Elder Ronald A. Rasband called “The Divine Call of a Missionary” – you won’t be disappointed. It is a really touching talk, and if you received a mission call and didn’t think it was where you should go, his talk will definitely remedy that emotion!

If you ever served a mission in a “hard” area with not many baptisms, or felt like you didn’t make a difference in your mission, please read Elder Waddell’s talk. His story of Elder Misiego is poignant and powerful and it is definitely a testimony that “the Lord knows where He wants each missionary to serve.”

I wrote a bunch more about these talks and how they applied to motherhood, but then the post started getting too long, and I am trying not to have overwhelmingly long posts, so I decided to post them separately, and I will probably post the motherhood one later this week.

Did you serve a mission? Did you feel like it was the best two years for your life? Did you feel like the Lord had called you to your specific mission purposefully? How did you prepare for your mission?

Blacks and the Priesthood

2012-03-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is a lot of misinformation, speculation, and misunderstanding about the Church’s policy to ban black members from holding the Priesthood.

Let me just clear something up.

The ban on black Mormons holding the priesthood was NEVER doctrine of the Church, nor was it based on any doctrine of the Church. (see the Church’s official statement)

Although no one is 100% sure when or why the ban began (although it can be pretty closely traced to comments from Brigham Young in 1852 when Utah was applying for statehood) it was NEVER based on official LDS doctrine. It was purely based one someone’s (Brigham Young) personal opinion and personal comments – not speaking prophetically.

After the racist comments from Brigham Young University professor (the irony of that is not lost on me…), Randy Bott, were quoted in a Washington Post article, the Church actually released an official statement clarifying that Bro. Bott does not speak for the Church, neither do his comments reflect the actual position of the Church. (read that statement here)

I read a comment by Armand Mauss over at By Common Consent in response to the Washington Post article, at the bottom of which was a link to an article by him over at BlackLDS.org about the ban on the priesthood. It was a very well thought out and very well informed article about the climate at the time and the revelatory process of the Church leadership.

If you have ever had questions, or known someone who has had questions, about the Church and blacks and the priesthood, I recommend you read it.

You can find the comment on By Common Consent here

And the article by Armand Mauss here.

You Know What is Right

2012-02-27T16:11:00.001-07:00

Today I am guest-posting over at The Life of a Mormon Teen about the divine nature in all of us.

Whitney asked me a tough question. She asked me what I wish I had known as a teenager. This post was geared mostly toward teens, but everyone would benefit from a little reminder about their divine nature.

“… you know what is right. I am sure that most of you teenagers already know, deep inside, what is right, what is true, and what is good. That’s because Heavenly Father planted a seed of divinity in you.”

Hand Plays for Church–The Testimony Glove

2012-02-26T23:05:00.001-07:00

When I was little, one of the ways I remember my mom keeping us quiet during sacrament meeting was with hand plays. The one I remember the most (besides her simply tracing my hands) was “Here is the Church House”. I taught it to my little girl a few weeks ago, and she loves it. I can occupy her for 5-10 minutes with this hand play alone! In fact, just tonight as I was putting her to bed she asked to do it over and over again. The first part, where you interlace your fingers backwards, was tricky when I first taught her but tonight she was doing it like a pro! She knows the whole thing and can do the hand motions herself (although she needs a little help with the words). In case you don’t know how it goes, I took pictures of her doing it (yes… during sacrament meeting… is that bad?) so I could teach you.

After playing this for a while, and realizing that it had no gospel application other than that we pray at Church (which is good), I decided that I should make some hand plays that were gospel related. So I did. First I looked up “The Testimony Glove” which I figured was a good place to start.

I came up with three hand plays that go along with the five parts of the “testimony glove”, which are

1. I know that God is our Heavenly Father and He loves us.

2. I know that His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and Redeemer.

3. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God. He restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth and translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God.

4. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s Church on the earth today.

5. I know that this Church is led by a living prophet who receives revelation.

Some of the rhymes are better than others, and some of the hand motions might seem little ambiguous, but it’s been a while since I did anything horribly creative, so you get what you get. I’m excited to start using these with my kids. I made them up a few weeks ago, but I forgot about them until tonight when J was asking for the Church house game over and over again.

Without further ado, here are the three hand plays that I came up with. Feel free to share these hand plays and enjoy them with your kids.

(yes, I know that Moroni actually gave the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith,
but since this is for very small children,
and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ ultimately
were the ones who blessed us with the Book of Mormon,
I feel like this is still accurate)

I am also going to do some scripture stories hand plays in the near future. I’ve got some ideas floating around up there. I was thinking today that I might even publish them in a book. I have a fun book of hand games and finger plays for kids, but is is strictly secular, and I really like having ones that I can use to teach the gospel to my kids.

How did your parents keep you occupied during sacrament meeting as a toddler/preschooler? Do you remember the Church house hand play? Do you think you will use these hand plays with your kids? If I make up hand plays for scriptures stories, would you like to see them?

Gospel Art Kit–There’s an App for that!

2012-02-23T05:00:00.001-07:00

UPDATE 7/31/16: It looks like the gospel art kit app has gone the way of banned apps. When I recently purchased a new iPhone that is one of the apps that didn't somehow make it back on my phone when I restored from my old iPhone's backup. So I looked in my "Purchased Apps" and couldn't find it, and now it appears that it is no longer in the app store either. I don't know if it has to do with copyright violations or what, but it makes me really sad! I can probably find a way to get the app back on my devices from my computer, but if you didn't have the app before you won't be able to download it.

(link to download at the bottom of the post)

This past Sunday I was sitting in sacrament meeting and I reached in my Church bag to pull out my gospel art book and realized that I had left it at home! It has become one of my most powerful tools for helping my kids be reverent during the sacrament. I will usually turn it to the pages with the Savior in Gethsemane and the Savior on the Cross, and often we end up in the “Gospel in Action” section to look at pictures of the sacrament being blessed, and little children being reverent while they take the sacrament.

So, you can imagine my horror when I realized it wasn’t in the bag. What would I do now!?

Thankfully, I had my handy-dandy iPhone, and I thought “Oh, maybe the Gospel Art Book is available in the Gospel Library app!” Willing to stomach any possible data charges, I headed to the app, but no luck. Desperate, I resorted to Safari and lds.org and quickly found the gospel art book online. I loaded a few pictures and saved them to my phone (for easy access next time I forgot the book).

Today I was just sitting around thinking “I wonder if someone has made an app for that.” I did a quick search in the app store, and sure enough! There it was, for $1.99 (updated 4/28/13 - it's now $2.99, but still worth it, in my opinion). I immediately downloaded it (that’s cheaper than the paper book from the distribution center), and upon browsing through the app, I realized that this app is not just the gospel art book, but the entire Gospel Art Kit! Remember, that big box of something like 600 pictures, all 8 1/2 x 11 size? I grew up with those as a Family Home Evening staple, so I was really disappointed when they discontinued the kit in favor of the gospel art book. I still wish I had all those pictures.

Well, now I do, sort of! I am really excited to have all those pictures (it has the picture of the Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s burying their weapons, which is one of my personal favorites). Especially now in an easy app on my phone. You can sort the pictures by number (which is somewhat choronological) or by name, and there is also a search function.

So when Sunday rolls around and my kids are fighting over the gospel art book during the sacrament (yes… it happens) I can just whip out my phone and let one of them look at the pictures on there! Although, I am also considering giving the kids their very own gospel art books for their Church bags, since they are only $3.50. Then no fighting over the iPhone either.

And when we’re waiting in line, or sitting somewhere with nothing to do, I can pull out my gospel art kit app and we can choose a picture and talk about the scriptures! Yay!

Download the app here: Gospel Art Book App by Standard Works LLC

Have you found any useful gospel-related smartphone apps? Which are your favorite? Would you like me to share more reviews of my favorites?

Reading Again and Again

2012-02-02T13:53:00.001-07:00

If you missed my post yesterday – I finished the Book of Mormon on January 31st at 11:30pm! I made my goal of finishing by the end of January (although my goal changed a few times along the way).

As I was reading about the destruction in Ether and Moroni, I started getting really excited to start at the beginning again. I already had a brand new economy copy of the Book of Mormon ready for service! Doesn’t it just look like it is ready to be devoured?

I did the calculations, and including the title page, witness pages, and Joseph Smith history pages, I need to read approximately 1.6 pages of the Book of Mormon every day in order to finish by the end of the year. I decided that I am going to round up to two pages, that way if I miss a few days, or if I can only read one page, or half a page, some days, I’ll be fine.

My desire to read the Book of Mormon each year stems from a desire to be like Elder Richard G. Scott’s wife. In October General Conference, Elder Scott said this about his wife:

“For I don’t know how many years, as the end of the year approached, I would see [my wife] sitting quietly, carefully finishing the entire Book of Mormon yet another time before year’s end.”

I want to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover every year. I can’t remember where I read it (probably on the Book of Mormon Forum blog hop last year) (edit 2-3-12: turns out that was Cocoa from Chocolate on My Cranium! Thanks, Cocoa!), that someone mentioned keeping a scripture journal each time she read the Book of Mormon, and that she wanted to give one of the journals to each of her kids. Instead of keeping a separate journal, I use an economy copy of the Book of Mormon each time I read it, and I just use a regular old ball-point pen and underline, box, and circle words, draw, and write notes in the margins of the pages. By the time I am finished with the economy copy of the Book of Mormon, it is my scripture journal. But I loved this sister’s idea to give a copy to each of her kids. I think I will do this with my economy copies of the Book of Mormon. Since I will have a copy of the Book of Mormon for each year, I think I’ll have plenty of copies to share with my children.

As I write my thoughts and insights and questions in the margins of the pages, I think about this scripture:

“And upon these I write the things of my soul… for my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and profit of my children. Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.” (2 Nephi 4:14-16)

As I write my thoughts and feelings and questions in the Book of Mormon margins, I feel like I am writing my own scriptures for my children. And I hope that I can teach them to love the Book of Mormon as much as I do.

How do you study the Book of Mormon? How do you motivate yourself to read it over and over again? Do you read the Book of Mormon every year? How many times have you read the Book of Mormon cover to cover?

The Importance of a Name

2012-01-30T09:23:00.001-07:00

(find the talk here)

This talk inspired me to make this with Photoshop. I’m not great with Photoshop, but I think it turned out okay. I loved how Elder M. Russell Ballard dissected the name of the Church and talked about the significance of every part – even the seemingly insignificant article “The” at the beginning of the name.

(please feel free to share this image, pin it, whatever – just make sure to give credit)

I was also somewhat pleased that Elder Ballard’s talk was kind of a follow-up and clarification of President Boyd K. Packer’s talk in April 2011 General Conference when he talked about how important it was to use the full and proper name of the Church and to refer to ourselves as “members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” or simple “Latter-day Saints.” I know many people wondered what was going to happen to the Church’s “I’m a Mormon” campaign, so I am glad that Elder Ballard clarified that for now, it wasn’t going anywhere, but it’s purpose was to teach people who “Mormons” really are (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

Elder Ballard said, “I have thought a lot about why the Savior gave the nine-word name to His restored Church. It may seem long, but if we think of it as a descriptive overview of what the Church is, it suddenly becomes wonderfully brief,candid, and straightforward.” I am sure many people wonder why the Lord decided to give His Church such a mouthful of a name, but, like Elder Ballard pointed out, it is wonderfully descriptive, and rather brief, when you look at all it really says (see image above).

“I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Because we believe in the Book of Mormon, which is named after an ancient American prophet-leader and is another testament of Jesus Christ, we are sometimes called Mormons.” I hope that I get the opportunity to use this response to the question “Do you belong to the Mormon Church?” I believe this response can also be appropriate when asked the question “Are you Mormon?” It’s wonderfully succinct and hits all the important points, while validating the person’s question.

Elder Ballard said, “Surely it would be easier for [people] to understand that we believe in and follow the Savior if we referred to ourselves as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” Just think of how the media coverage might be different today if we had spent the last 100+ years referring to ourselves as “members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”? I do understand that when the Church was first organized it was important to distinguish us from other Christians – and that is still important. We don’t mind being “different” Christians – in fact, it’s the best part of our Church – we are not just another protestant religion. We belong to the restored Church of Jesus Christ.

“The Savior’s name is the only name under heaven by which man can be saved.”

“Do we realize how blessed we are to take upon us the name of God’s Beloved and Only Begotten Son? Do we understand how significant that is?” Do you refer to yourself as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? How do you tell people about the full name of the Church?

Book of Mormon Papers

2012-01-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

Students at Brigham Young University are required to take religion classes. The first religion class you usually take is Religion 121: Book of Mormon. Religion classes at BYU are usually taught by religion professors. My first Book of Mormon class was actually taught by a Mechanical Engineering professor. I was part of what BYU called “Freshman Academy” where you have three or four classes with the same group of students. One of those classes was Religion 121, and since we were all engineering students, an engineering professor taught our Book of Mormon class.

Not to minimize the effect of having dedicated religion professors, but my Book of Mormon class with Brother Jordan Cox was the best religion class I ever had. We basically had one standing assignment in Bro Cox’s class, and that was to read the assigned chapters in the Book of Mormon, and then write a one page paper in which we asked a question and answered it with the words from the reading assignment. He didn’t care how much we wrote, what size font we used, or the size of the margins – it just had to be one page.

The two midterms and the finals were also papers. One on the words of Isaiah, one of the Church of the Lamb of God, and for our final, we were supposed to write about our testimony.

I still have the copies of almost every paper I wrote for that class, and over the next little while I am going to post those papers on this blog. I am really excited to share these papers with you, and I hope you enjoy them.

Since the Book of Mormon is broken into two semesters of classes at BYU, these papers only cover the first half of the Book of Mormon. My goal this year is to continue the Book of Mormon papers that I wrote that Freshman year and write papers for the second half of the Book of Mormon, the same way.

I am really looking forward to it!

How do you study the Book of Mormon? Did you take a Book of Mormon religion class at a Church-sponsored university, or a Book of Mormon institute class?

Exactly One Line

2012-01-16T10:37:00.001-07:00

(find the talk here – The Book of Mormon – A Book from God)

You may not know this about me, but a few years ago I finished my bachelors degree in Mathematics with a minor in Physics from Brigham Young University. I love math. I even love geometry. I didn’t at first, but the more I studied physics, the more I realized I loved geometry.

One of the basic postulates of geometry is that through any two points there is exactly one line. When I heard this postulate spoken of in General Conference by Elder Tad R. Callister I almost cheered! I love when the General Authorities talk about math and science concepts in Conference. I feel that there is something really divine about math and science.

But I digress.

The Book of Mormon. Elder Callister says that with it there is no middle ground, “It is either the word of God as professed, or it is a total fraud.” From a logical viewpoint, this makes sense. It can’t just be a “good book,” since it talks about the atonement of Jesus Christ and professes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God it either has to be from the devil or from God – because you can’t just write an untrue book about Jesus Christ without it being false. So either Joseph Smith received gold plates from an angel and translated them by the power of God as he said he did, or he was possessed by the devil and conjured up this book.

Elder Callister compared it to C. S. Lewis’ argument of why a person must either accept or reject the divinity of Jesus Christ – not merely think of him as a “good person” or a “prophet.” Said C. S. Lewis,

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. …You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God:or else a madman or something worse. … But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

I love C. S. Lewis. I enjoy a little bit of logic when it comes to the gospel – even though the ultimate test of truth comes through the Holy Ghost.

Back to the geometry lesson - Elder Callister described why we need both the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

The principles of geometry state that there are an infinite number of lines that can be draw through one point. In every direction – not just the lines we can think of on a plane, but an entire space. Lines going everywhere! Who wouldn’t be confused with all those possibilities?

But add just one more point, and suddenly you have only one possibility – through any two points there is exactly one line. There are absolutely no other possibilities.

When you think of it that way, it is easy to see why there is only one true Church of Jesus Christ, and why that Church is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. The doctrine of the Church is based on the Bible and the Book of Mormon, together as testaments of Jesus Christ. As Elder Callister puts it, “Only one interpretation of Christ’s doctrines survives the testimony of these two witnesses.”

In his talk, Elder Callister described several instances where the Book of Mormon clarifies doctrine put forth in the Bible, but says, “none is more powerful nor poignant than the Book of Mormon’s discourses on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” I love reading about the Savior, both in the gospels, and in the epistles of Paul in which he teaches people about the Savior. I love reading the words of Isaiah, which are rich in prophesies of the Savior. But by far my favorite place to read about the Savior and His mission is in the Book of Mormon. Some of my favorite passages are Mosiah chapter 4 and Alma chapter 42 – although nearly every page is full of testimonies of the Savior and His mission and atonement. There is something about reading the Book of Mormon that seems to pull me toward the Savior. My thoughts are turned to the Savior more often, my life is more in line with the teachings of the Savior, and my testimony of His divinity and atonement is strengthened.

In the Book of Mormon, Moroni teaches, “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.” Which is exactly what the Savior taught when He said, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every … house divided against itself shall not stand. And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?” So, the Savior himself taught that if anything persuades people to believe in Him, it must be of God – because Satan cannot persuade people to believe in Christ, otherwise he would be divided against himself.

The Book of Mormon draws me closer to Christ almost involuntarily – without even trying, it pulls me to the Savior with an indescribable force. Then, as the Savior himself taught, it must be of God.

To any who have not read the Book of Mormon and think they know whether the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true Church of Christ, I tell you that you cannot know if it is true if you do not know whether or not the Book of Mormon is true. Elder Callister testified, “An honest, unbiased reading of the Book of Mormon will bring someone to the same conclusion as my great-great-grandfather, namely: ‘The devil could not have written it—it must be from God.’”

And as the 14 year old girl testified, “I have read every page of the Book of Mormon and I know it’s true.”

I, too, have read every page of the Book of Mormon, and I know it is of God. Every page draws me close to the Savior and testifies of Him. How grateful I am for its power and its truths.

How do you know the Book of Mormon is true? Have you experienced “an honest, unbiased reading of the Book of Mormon”? Do you judge the truthfulness of the Church without having read that book?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

I should have kept my mouth shut

2012-01-15T22:15:00.001-07:00

Well, I got a new calling (two actually, but that’s another story) a few weeks before Christmas – choir director! Which wasn’t a huge surprise – what was mostly surprising was that it took them so long. That was probably because when we started attending this ward I complained (only a little!) about having had so many music callings, and I kind of just wanted to try out something else, you know?

Well, it turns out that callings are actually from Heavenly Father and we don’t get to pick, and I will probably be a choir director for the rest of my life (or in some other music calling) and I have finally realized that I don’t mind that one bit! I love music. Love it. I am passionate about music, especially music in the Church.

So, I gave a talk in Sacrament meeting several years ago when I was the choir director for a different ward (I posted an edited version of that talk here). One of the talks I read in preparation for that talk was Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ talk in November 1994 General Conference titled “Worship through Music.”

Last week I was talking with one of the counselors in the bishopric and he mentioned that the Bishop was thinking about spending some time during Ward Conference (in two weeks) talking about singing during Sacrament meeting, because he had noticed that a lot of the members of our ward don’t even pick up the hymnbook during the hymns. I mentioned that I had given that talk on the importance of music and had read that amazing talk by Elder Oaks addressing the exact topic!

That’s where I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

Because now I am giving that talk (well, another edit of it, since the other talk was actually about teaching children music) in Sacrament meeting next week.

And leading the choir in a special musical number.

Good thing I already taught today in Relief Society (oh yeah, I have three callings – but they call the RS teacher and ward organist “part time” callings…). I wonder how long until my ward gets sick of seeing me? (my husband and I gave talks in October, the same day that I gave the lesson in Relief Society. It was great).

In other news, my two year old came down from bed a little while ago with my economy Book of Mormon clutched to her chest. She loves the Book of Mormon, and she can’t even read yet! She mostly just loves carrying it around with her – but she doesn’t carry around any other book – just the Book of Mormon. In fact, she just fell asleep on the couch beside me snuggling it like a teddy bear.

All I know is seeing her hugging the Book of Mormon made my heart swell. I love my kids. Being a mother is the greatest thing I have ever done, and I love it. Absolutely love it. I try to remind myself how much I love it every day – especially when I am tempted to complain about how hard it is. It is hard! But what good things aren’t?

Children are hard - So don’t have any

2011-12-01T08:38:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine shared a “funny” video the other day. If you want to watch it without having it spoiled, hurry and click on the link. If you don’t have a desire to watch it, read on.

The video opens with a young father and his son (probably 6 or 7?) at a grocery store. The young son takes some cereal off the shelf and puts it in the cart. The father picks it up and deliberately puts it back, and thus ensues a little “take it out, put it back” war between father and son. Suddenly, after the father puts it back again, the young boy starts throwing a tantrum, screaming, throwing things off the shelves, lying on the floor screaming and hitting the floor, all while the bystanders watch in displeasure and seem to give the young father one of “those” looks (if you’ve ever been in the grocery store with a screaming child, you know what I’m talking about). You notice (or maybe you don’t, but I did) that there are only adults (and most of them older – think 40s+) and none of them have children (of any age) with them. The commercial ends with a close up of the young father’s face and a message at the bottom: “Wear condoms.”

Now, while the irony of the video might be somewhat funny, I found the message to be in poor taste, and exactly what Elder Neil A. Andersen was illustrating in his talk from General Conference about children and how the world views them as a lower priority than anything. The message I observed in the video was this, “Children are hard work, so make sure you don’t have any.”

The video is in another language with subtitles (I think French?) and I thought that a commercial like this would probably not fly in the United States. Fortunately we have enough mothers who aggressively defend motherhood (like Rachel Jankovic) in the United States that I think there would be some really negative backlash to a commercial like this being aired in the United States. But in Europe, where families values have eroded so much that some countries are trying to get more men to be teachers so that children will have positive male role models (what happened to fathers?!) I thought this commercial was probably very well received.

I thought the message in the commercial might have been more “don’t have kids if you’re not ready to have kids” if there had been other, well-behaved children in the commercial. But in the commercial you will notice a blatant lack of children. So that leads me to believe that the marketers weren’t just targeting people who might not be emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially prepared to have children. Since the only child in the entire commercial was acting like a monster (while the father simply stands by and “lets” him throw the fit – a conversation for another day) – which even well-behaved children will do sometimes – there was no other conclusion to draw other than that the marketers view all children as trials and burdens which we should protect ourselves from by wearing condoms (or using another form of birth control – don’t worry, I am not knocking birth control here – there is a time and place for that, too).

I know this sounds a little harsh, and maybe I am off – maybe the marketers really were saying “If you’re not ready to have kids, wait until you are.” What did you think?

PS – I included a few pictures of my two year old during some of her tantrums. (which happen quite frequently… because she is two) so you would know that I don’t think my children are always perfect. I wanted to be fair and include pictures of my four year old, but either he doesn’t throw tantrums as often as she does, or he just makes sure he isn’t throwing tantrums while we are taking pictures. Either way – parenting is hard, children are hard – mine throw tantrums all the time. But it is by far the most important thing we can ever do.

What message did you see in the commercial? Do you think the commercial illustrates, at least somewhat, the lower priority most people in the world give to having and raising successful children? Or do you think it is simply a harmless message?

Children

2011-11-28T11:17:00.001-07:00

(find the talk here)

“In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth,
there was no decorated nursery or designer crib –
only a manger for the Savior of the world.”

I have been thinking a lot about Elder Neil L. Andersen’s talk since General Conference. When I was a teenager, I thought a lot about being a mother. It was really all I wanted to be. I dreamed of having a house full of kids. Mothering children has always been on my mind.

The thing about having children (in God’s way, at least) is that it isn’t a one-person decision. I don’t get to just decide to have kids, or not to have kids – it is a decision I have to make with my husband, “with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.”

There are many women in today’s world who want to have children and raise them as a single mother. They don’t see anything wrong with that. I see a lot wrong with that.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” When single women decide to bear and raise children by themselves, they are teaching those children the complete opposite. Sure, it’s hard to be married, and it is hard to compromise and maybe not do things exactly the way you want to, or the way you think is right. But that is where children belong – with a mother and a father who are trying to work together, to be unified. They may not always be perfect, but children are entitled to being raised with a father and a mother who are trying to make things work.

Unity in marriage is another post entirely, but there needs to be unity in marriage for the decision of bearing children – obviously, since neither a man nor a woman can biologically have children without the other. Which means that the choice to have children rests with both the husband and the wife.

Just as the world has succumbed to Satan’s lie that it’s okay for single, unmarried women to raise children on their own (I’m not talking about women who get pregnant from a dumb decision, or a mistake – I’m talking about women who purposefully get pregnant while they are single because they don’t want to get married, yet they want to have children. I am also not talking about women who would get married in a heart beat, but want to raise children and so they adopt or foster as a single woman – those women are to be praised for their courage), Elder Andersen says, “Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family.” I have thought of this a lot – if there is no reason you shouldn’t have more children (you don’t have a job, your health won’t permit bearing children, you are physically unable to bear children, etc – and even in some of these cases, people will bear children), then why shouldn’t you bear children? The world will tell you ___ number of children is enough. I have a boy and a girl, and I can’t tell you how many times the world has told me, “Oh, you have a boy and a girl, that’s perfect, you can be ‘done’ having kids!” What a horrible lie. Sure, I enjoy my boy and my girl, but I have never once thought that I was going to be “done” after two children – regardless of their genders! What a crazy lie the world would have us believe.

I love when the prophets and apostles quote other good Christians at General Conference. Frequently quoted are C.S. Lewis, Charles Dickens (best of times, worst of times), and William Wordsworth, but Elder Andersen actually quoted a contemporary Christian blogger, Rachel Jankovic. I almost fell over backwards when I heard him quote her, and then after conference I had to go look her up. Of course, her quote is now being spread around the internet attributed to Elder Andersen (if you spread her quote, please give her credit). The entire blog post she wrote was very powerful. The part Elder Andersen quoted was this

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Part of me wonders what Rachel thinks of being quoted from the pulpit at LDS General Conference. I took the time to read her entire post that this quote was taken from, and it was excellent. I decided today to go buy her book, Loving the Little Years. That sentiment reminds me of a quote from President Monson in General Conference of October 2008 where he said, “If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.”

The other day I came in to my bedroom where I had laid our two and a half year old to sleep on our bed. She was asleep – next to my journal and my economy Book of Mormon. When I opened up my journal, I noticed she had scribbled on a few pages and on the inside covers. I expected to get upset (my journal is very precious to me) and then I thought about reading through that journal when my little J is grown up and independent and doesn’t need me to snuggle her and put her down for naps anymore. And I thought what a beautiful reminder that scribble in my journal will be of the innocence of her childhood, and the precious child that grew up under my care.

I enjoyed the story Elder Andersen told about Elder Mason’s talk with President Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball asked Elder Mason “Where is your faith?” When I first heard that story, and that question, I thought differently about it than I do right now. At first I thought that I didn’t have enough faith and that is why we aren’t expecting a third child yet. But now I am realizing that the Lord wants me to have faith that all my righteous desires will be realized. I need to have faith that I will have all those children my heart desires to have. And I don’t need to be bitter because I won’t have what I want right now.

I was particularly pleased that Elder Andersen reminded us not once, but twice “we should not judge one another on this matter… we should not be judgmental with one another in this sacred and private responsibility.” I think that goes both ways – we should not judge people who do not have children yet, and we should not judge people who choose to have many children, even though it may seem that they have “too many” children. It is a very personal decision, and one made between a couple and the Lord.

How have you had to have faith when it comes to bearing children? Do you think there are things that you need to do before you have children? Are children highest on your list of priorities? Do you cherish each child the Lord places into your family?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

Covenant Keeper

2011-11-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about covenants lately. It is good to do a little self-evaluation every now and then to see how well we are keeping our covenants. After October General Conference, I felt a great sense of urgency to evaluate how well I am keeping my covenants – and to be more diligent and faithful in keeping them.

Sister Barbara Thompson talked about keeping covenants at General Conference, and she talked about her mother’s example. She spoke about cleaning out her mother’s belongings after her mother passed away and that her mother’s belongings were evidence that her mother was a covenant keeper. Suddenly I was filled with a great desire to be a covenant keeper.

We make many many covenants. Most of the covenants we make with God are made in His sacred and holy temples.

President Boyd K. Packer reminds us that “we are a covenant people. We covenant to give of our resources in time and money and talent—all we are and all we possess—to the interest of the kingdom of God upon the earth. In simple terms, we covenant to do good. We are a covenant people,and the temple is the center of our covenants. It is the source of the covenant.”

Our Relief Society lesson last week was on the Millennium. We talked about Satan being bound and how the scriptures teach us that “And because of the righteousness of his people, Satan has no power”. After reading this scripture we talked a little bit about how we can bind Satan in our own lives by our righteousness. We can never completely escape from Satan’s influence in our lives today because not everyone will live righteously – but if we live righteously, that is, if we keep our covenants, and we surround ourselves with those who keep their covenants, then Satan will be effectually bound in our lives – at least for the most part.

There is so much protection in keeping covenants. Sister Thompson said, “’Lift up thy heart and rejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made.’ Keeping covenants is true joy and happiness.This is comfort and peace. This is protection from the evils of the world. Keeping our covenants will help us in times of trial.”

What strength have you received as you “cleave unto covenants”? Think of the covenants you have made. Are you “cleaving” unto them?

The Song of the Righteous

2011-11-15T13:02:00.001-07:00

Note: This is an edited version of a talk I was asked to give in Sacrament meeting in 2008 when I was the ward choir director in a ward in Springville, UT. I tried to shorten in a bit, but it’s still pretty long (it was a 10-15 minute talk…) I have been enjoying the Mormon Channel’s new Music Stream, and it made me think of this talk and all the wonderful principles I learned while studying for it.

I have a great testimony of the power of music. I have played and sung many pieces of musical importance, and performed in various venues throughout my life. I have several favorite pieces among the great composers of Debussy, Mendelssohn, Mozart, Bach, and others. But by far my favorite music to experience, whether by listening or performing, are the hymns.

There have been times when I have been able to share my testimony through the hymns, and those are the times when my testimony feels the strongest – unbreakable, unshakeable, and immoveable. In a way, I feel that the hymns, especially those in the Children’s Songbook, have provided the foundation for my gospel knowledge.

But the hymns didn’t provide that foundation on their own. I credit that foundation to the exposure my parents gave me to the hymns from an early age.

Ever since I can remember, there has been music in our home. The earliest of those memories has to do with the hymns. When my mother was a member of the Stake Relief Society Presidency, our family would travel to the different wards in our stake, often an hour or more away from our home. It would have been a lot easier for my mother to simply take the trip herself, but she would make us go with her, and our family would sing in the ward’s sacrament meeting. Often, the song was “Love is Spoken Here.”

My father has worked in family therapy for years, and once as a young child, our family went with him to a family retreat sponsored by his agency. One evening, while all the families were gathered after dinner, our family sang “Love at Home.” Our parents loved sharing truth through music, and so experiences like these were common for us.

President Boyd K. Packer said, “Parents ought to foster good music in the home and cultivate a desire to have their children learn the hymns of inspiration.” It is hard to cultivate that desire to learn the hymns if we ourselves, as their parents, do not cultivate the desire in us to learn the hymns.

Several years ago, Elder Oaks shared the following experience,

“I had finished a special assignment on a Sunday morning in Salt Lake City and desired to attend a sacrament meeting. I stopped at a convenient ward meetinghouse and slipped unnoticed into the overflow area just as the congregation was beginning to sing these sacred words of the sacrament song:
’Tis sweet to sing the matchless love
Of Him who left his home above
And came to earth—oh, wondrous plan—
To suffer, bleed, and die for man!
(Hymns, 1985, no. 177)
My heart swelled as we sang this worshipful hymn and contemplated renewing our covenants by partaking of the sacrament. Our voices raised the concluding strains:
For Jesus died on Calvary,
That all thru him might ransomed be.
Then sing hosannas to his name;
Let heav’n and earth his love proclaim.
As we sang these words, I glanced around at members of the congregation and was stunned to observe that about a third of them were not singing. How could this be? Were those who did not even mouth the words suggesting that for them it was not “sweet to sing the matchless love” or to “sing hosannas to his name”? What are we saying, what are we thinking, when we fail to join in singing in our worship services?
I believe some of us in North America are getting neglectful in our worship, including the singing of hymns. I have observed that the Saints elsewhere are more diligent in doing this. We in the center stakes of Zion should renew our fervent participation in the singing of our hymns.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Worship through Music,” Ensign, Nov 1994)

I witnessed this myself when our family was attending a Portuguese ward here in Utah. The Brazilians in our Portuguese ward sang the hymns with such vigor and testimony I was almost moved to tears each Sunday during Sacrament meeting. Contrast that with our English speaking ward we recently started attending. The hymns during sacrament meeting are barely whispered, and there are many who do not sing or even mouth the words. We must sing the hymns. There is no other way to gain a testimony of their significance and importance.

You can download almost all the hymns of the Church, including the hymns from the Children’s Songbook, from the Church website. There are a few hymns that are not available for download due to copyright restrictions, but for the most part, you can download (for free) and listen to and learn any hymn that might be sung in Sacrament meeting.

The First Presidency Preface to the Hymnbook says, “Teach your children to love the hymns. Sing them on the Sabbath, in home evening, during scripture study, at prayer time. Sing as you work, as you play, and as you travel together. Sing hymns as lullabies to build faith and testimony in your young ones.” These are simple suggestions that make an eternal impact of the testimonies of your children. There is nothing more special than rocking my children to sleep singing “I am a Child of God.”

My husband often comments that I have a song for everything (almost any phrase or topic can get me singing something). This is especially true for gospel topics. The songs found in the Children’s Songbook teach very deep and significant doctrinal truths in a simple, joyous manner. If our children learn the songs of the Children’s Songbook, their gospel understanding will be much more advanced by the time they graduate from primary. There are songs in Primary that teach about the Plan of Salvation, as so eloquently and simply stated in the song “I Lived in Heaven.” Children learn of baptism through dozens of simple songs. They learn of the life of the Savior, the Savior’s love for them and for all His children. They learn about the importance of helping at home, of service, of love, of scripture study, and prayer by the words of a song. There is no basic gospel principle left out of the Children’s Songbook. Do you understand what a significant blessing that music is to your children?

Elder Packer encouraged all families to make sure that music lessons are a part of their children’s upbringing, and especially that parents provide the opportunity for children to learn to play the hymns of the Church. He said,

“The time for music lessons seems to come along when there are so many other expenses for the family with little children. But we encourage parents to include musical training in the lives of their children.

Somehow Andrew and Olive Kimball did, and Spencer learned to play. Somehow Samuel and Louisa Lee managed to do it, and Harold learned to play. And now, as the leaders of the Church assemble for our sacred meetings in the upper room of the temple, we always sing a hymn. At the organ is President Spencer W. Kimball or President Harold B. Lee.

How wonderful is the music instructor who will teach children and youth to play and will acquaint them with good music in their formative years, including the music of worship. To have such music as a part of one’s life is a great blessing.” (Boyd K. Packer, “Inspiring Music—Worthy Thoughts,” Ensign, Jan 1974)

My mother is a piano teacher, and she makes sure that her LDS students learn how to play the hymns. That didn’t start with her students, however. My brothers and sister and I have always been required to learn to play the hymns. It started with learning from the Hymns Made Easy book, and as our ability to play the hymns increased, if it increased, we moved on to the regular hymnbook. Some of my siblings still play from the Hymns Made Easy. Nevertheless, for each of us, it has been a great blessing in our lives, as we have been able to provide the service of accompanying any kind of meeting. It has helped us learn the importance of music, of service, and of the gospel.

You do not need to force your child to become a great performance musician. It can be as simple as teaching them to play a few simple hymns, or having someone you know teach them how to read music and play from the Hymns Made Easy book. That simple ability to play the hymns will bless them throughout their lives. Maybe you will even be inspired to learn to play the hymns as well.

I encourage each of you to ponder the words of the prophets on this subject. Think about President Packer’s admonition to give our children music lessons. I hope you take to heart Elder Oak’s counsel to sing the hymns in our worship services, to be an active participant in the music of the gospel. Cultivate the desire to understand and gain a testimony of the significance of music in the gospel. Please come to Sister Taylor or myself for help with increasing your musical abilities.

I pray that we will use the gift of music to bring the Spirit of God into our homes, into our meetings, and into our lives, and let that Spirit testify to us of the truthfulness of the gospel and the reality of our Savior.

How have you made good music a part of your life? Do you worship through song with the hymns and songs from the Children’s Songbook? Do your children learn how to play the hymns? Sing the hymns? How do you study the gospel through music?

Without Delay

2011-10-31T11:27:00.001-06:00

(find the talk here – Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time, without Delay)

When Elder José L. Alonso spoke of losing his young son in Mexico city, my heart pounded and tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t know if it was just the mother in me, but hearing of any parent losing a child, whether temporarily, or for this life, evokes a lot of emotion in me. We lost site of our then three year old once in a big box department store, and I can still remember how my heart raced as we ran around the clothing department calling his name. I remember being grateful for the store employees who calmly communicated on their radios the situation, and our son was quickly located.

I appreciated Elder Alonso’s comment that they did not need a planning meeting to go to the rescue of their son. They “simply acted, going out in search of the one who had been lost.” I think that I am often guilty of waiting for instruction to go to the rescue. We recently started attending a new ward, and I want to serve and help people, but I haven’t received a visiting teaching assignment yet. That has been my (quite lame) excuse for not helping or serving more. Why am I waiting to be instructed to go to the rescue? I am sure that I am quite capable of searching out and helping those in need, and I know the Lord will help me in that effort if I actually step forward and go to work. Elder Alonso reminded us that “Each day we have the opportunity to give help and service—doing the right thing at the right time, without delay.” Why do I delay when the opportunities are all around me?

Elder Alson began his talk with this statement, “In our day many people are living in the midst of sadness and great confusion. They are not finding answers to their questions and are unable to meet their needs.” This made me think about times in my life when I have been in the “midst of sadness and great confusion,” feeling lost, and not finding answers to my questions. Thankfully, I have frequently been rescued by the help of wise parents, loving teachers, good friends, and righteous priesthood leaders. In those times, though, feelings of despair often threatened to overcome me. The rescue that I found was not necessarily those good people in themselves – they rescued me by reminding me of the Savior, sharing their testimonies and urging me to rely on Him. Indeed, “true happiness is found in following the example and teachings of Christ.”

Have you been rescued at times in your life? How do you go to the rescue of others? Do you need to be instructed before you go to the rescue? Or do you search and rescue when it is needed, “without delay”?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club