C'est moi

End of an era!

2023-09-27T16:27:00.002-07:00

bhajagovindaM bhajagovindaM

govindaM bhajamuuDhamate .

saMpraapte sannihite kaale

nahi nahi rakshati DukRiJNkaraNe

This was a song I heard, playing on the tape recorder, every single day for the years that I lived with Ammamma. I never bothered understanding the meaning but listening to it now, I know how appropriate it is to her approach to life as she grew older.

Visiting Ammamma in July

At 108, she always had the brightest smile and sense of humour to try and keep an incoherent conversation alive with kids, grandkids, great grandkids & great-great grandkids. All she enjoyed even as she approached her century was prayers, watching the bustling street of Kingsway, a hello to her neighbours and the once in a while indulging herself in a piece of chocolate. Her food and other needs were super minimal. She lived by herself and on her terms. I won't go into the horrors of how adamant at times but instead...

My most memorable moments with her were spending time making pachchadi(pickle) using a traditional style stone grinder, cousins and I getting sweets and other prasadam from her daily, getting home remedies shoved down our throats, getting pampered with a loot of seasonal fruits from the farm, and once in a while getting yelled at for something naughty we did. The house was full with 2 families & 7 kids, so you can imagine how crazy it got. My first lesson of pranayama was with her and my first experience of a strong woman that could fight back(gaalis included at times) was with her. No wonder the spirit trickled down to my mom to some extent.

With kids, grandkids and a great grand kid (this is just part of the family!)

Her incredible home remedies are known far and wide amongst relatives, the neighbourhood, and friends of friends. I feel that’s what has helped her get through this far with zero hospitalization and zero medical conditions. Simple living, body in motion and healthy eating. It's an incredible feat come to think of it given how people as young as in their 30s or 40s are getting diagnosed with the worst of health conditions.

Read perfectly fine with no glasses at 100!

I spent some of my toughest and formative years in the Kingsway house and Ammamma’s passing away feels like the end of an era. A time that was filled with so many happy-go-lucky times despite the tough times. She was holding down the fort which is a mighty 3-storied building. This July when I visited her, the building started to fall apart due to the heavy rains. I wonder if that was a sign. Ammamma’s health deteriorated since her 108th birthday in August. She looked so happy with the chocolate cake just like a toddler with her toothless grin.

Ammamma celebrating 108!

Some fun facts about this legend:

- She lived through WWI, WWII, India's Independence struggle, & Y2K

- She has 7 kids, 20 grand kids, 25 great grand kids & 2 great great grand kids

Ammamma, I miss your pachchadi, I miss enjoying Holi, Sankranthi, Diwali and all the other festivals with cousins in your house, I miss the cramped up get-togethers, I miss your payasam, I miss your fearlessness, I don’t want to miss your home remedies so I’ll try to use them and remember you through them but above all I will miss hugging your frail body.

A fav thing to do with her great grand kids was to pretend like her veins were snakes

Lake Tahoe - A quick weekend getaway

2017-12-13T13:02:00.001-08:00

One of the best things about being in a place like Bay Area is access to opportunities. No, I am not talking about Silicon Valley, I am talking about opportunities to getaway every weekend. One such weekend destination is North America's second deepest and alpine lake, Lake Tahoe. At an elevation of 6225 ft approx. Lake Tahoe, is easy to get to, and gorgeous as heaven. It has two seasons - gorgeous summers and snow-clad gorgeous winters.

My nephew is visiting from the east coast and instead of doing a trip to the city again, this time around we planned on a day trip to Big Sur, the past weekend to Lake Tahoe. Not that these two places are not the usual to-do's but at least I hadn't been to either before.

We live in the south bay so its about a 4 1/2 hr drive keeping in mind a pitstop since we were traveling with a toddler. Up until Sacramento and Folsom, it was just a regular drive through the US cities but once we hit the hair pin turns and mountainous terrain of Eldorado National Forest, the scenery changed to postcard worthy picturesque landscape covered with Pine trees. It was a refreshing change to the concrete jungle we are used to. Lake Tahoe or the route to it might not be the most beautiful thing in the world but its got everything that nature has to offer to you all in one place. Most tourist places tend to be good for winters or good for summers. Lake Tahoe is one place thats good for both. It has the beach for summers and alpine terrain for winters. From what I gather, its the go-to place for most people for ski season.

Day 1: We got there around 6 in the evening and hit the Lakeside beach immediately. After an hour of the usual at the beach, we head to the heated pool at Harvey's (the hotel we were staying at). The best thing to happen to my toddler after being strapped into his car seat for a good 4 hours. We wrapped up the day with dinner at Hard Rock and a gigantic brownie sundae for dessert. Yes, its my go-all-out weekend after 3 weeks of working out regularly and controlled eating.

Day 2: I woke up at 5:30 A.M (wasn't in the plan)! Couldn't get myself to go to sleep again. I call it the 'let me not waste time sleeping during vacation' syndrome. I did some random chores for 2 hours, fed my baby and stepped out to get coffee. One thing led to another and I was on my morning walk to the Lakeside beach. I love that hill station cold in your face with a hot cup of coffee in your hand. It reminds me that life is good, and its these quiet moments that make waking up that early a good thing. Traveling with a toddler can be tiring not because the toddler is troublesome but it just simply means taking care of a number of things and not being able to do everything you want at the time you want to. When you combine this with a family trip, it just increases the number of things you might have to do or accommodate. Don't get me wrong, I love family trips. In fact if it weren't for my family, I wouldn't have had this affinity to travel but there are times you just want that quiet walk for yourself or that silent 10 mins to stare in to the vast expanse of whatever form of nature lies ahead of you.

We kicked off the day with some sight seeing and the Vista point. To be honest the point itself is like a typical viewing point that has a ton of crowd some info boards, and ok visual stimulation. The husband managed to find parking a 5 min walk away and that's where we truly got a good look at the castle side of Lake Tahoe. Getting to the Vikingsholm castle meant climbing down a good steep trail. Doing that with a toddler and a 60yr old was not going to be fun so we just took in the views from the road.

Post lunch, we headed out to do our adventure sport for the day, Parasailing. I am somebody who's jumped off the plane a couple of times, bungee-jumped, rafted, kayaked, abseiled, and all the other basic adrenaline pumping activities but for the first time I was a tad bit nervous but it is indeed one of the easiest and smoothest things you can do. The higher you go the smoother the ride is so if you are somebody who wants to give it a try, don't be afraid of going higher because thats actually easier and more relaxing. The beach by which we did this had one great thing that I hadn't seen previously, it had shallow waters for almost 20-30 feet in. I saw a bunch of toddlers walking in and playing with their parents like 20 feet into the water.

We soon wound up our trip to Tahoe with a 2 hour cruise which was the better way to look at the Vikingsholm castle I think. Although baby S spent most of his time just staring at the wheels at the rear of the boat but overall it was a nice cruise. I am not a big fan of cruises unless there is something spectacular awaiting so I just whiled my time away sipping on some cocktails.

P.S: This trip again was wayyyyy back in 2016 but ofcourse i am lazy but you know that by now!

The day I

2017-12-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

The day I

The day I was like WTF?:

As I sat on the throne synonymous for quality personal time, e coli layered gadgets, political cogitation, and optimizing your mobile phone space, I took a deep breath much like the gorilla in the cadbury ad as Phil Collins went about the air tonight, and broke into "mmmmm... yeh duniya yeh duniya pital di, yeh duniya pital di"

Yes, I did that!

The day I fractured my leg:

The top rope belay systems were in place, I was free climbing with minimal support somewhere deep in Yosemite when I spotted a tiny lamb stuck in between. Heeding to the animal lover in me, I reached out and tried to help him/her down but instead fell to my fate of a fractured leg. Sounds heroic right? A little bit like me? I mean seriously I totally could've been in that position.

Nope, thats definitely not how it happened, I went down a smoothened stone slide in a children's park pretending to have fun with my son. As we approached the bottom of the slide and the landing area, I saw my son briefly land on his feet and bum and spring right back up and laugh in joy. While I thought i did the same, I instead fell on my bum and squatted in the max position like on an indian loo and felt the sun shine a little too bright. I realised something went very wrong in that brief moment. Yes, thats how it happened.

The day I saw Ryan Gosling:

On a trip to San Diego, we stayed at a high end island resort that had fancy written over every single leaf of tiniest plants that were in the resort. I have zero trouble waking up at 6 in the morning when on vacation, other days 9 is a pain. One such early morning, I walked down to the coffee shop in the resort. While still taking in the fresh air and surroundings, I suddenly notice this guy talking in a British-ish accent looking extremely familiar. I am thinking, i am thinking, i am thinking... F&*% yeh toh Ryan Gosling hain! But why does he have a British accent? He is with another old man - maybe his father? He has a tattoo - you know what i am searching for on my phone now. Nope he is not Ryan Gosling - Why the fuck would he come down to order his own coffee in this tiny place? I said fancy place but thats for me - not for Mr. Reynolds!

The big 5

2017-12-13T12:34:00.000-08:00

The first time S mentioned a trip to Hawaii, I was excited but it never happened, the second time I heard of us going to Hawaii, I was still excited and it never materialized so when the third time Hawaii came up, I said 'Sure, we'll get right on that!'

I just got back and boy is my son relieved! Not because he didn't have fun wading at the pool never wanting to get out or playing with his sand toys but because on our last day we also dragged him along damn close to 4 year old, 10ft, 1000 lbs bottlenose dolphins, and took him on a 1500 ft altitude helicopter ride amid waterfalls and active volcanoes. So you know how much screaming was involved - I am sorry Nahale (Dolphin) & Mr. Pilot. You have been traumatized for life.

The trip was planned for our 5th anniversary by the one I shall refer to as my 'better half' just for the sake of this post and making this trip happen. I like to keep that title for myself usually. After overpacking and under planning, we set off on the jet plane to spend the next few days doing whatever the heck we wanted to in a fancy hotel with a view and a private lagoon.

As we stepped out of the plane, it hit us - the heat! Being a Hyderabadi, I am not allowed to point that out but which one of us (think typical person that drives down to Safeway) walks in the hot sun on a regular basis anymore. The airport at Kona reminds me of the typical tiny airports where you can shout across to get your fellow passengers attention, the ceiling is a bit higher than the tallest person you know, you walk down from the plane to the gates on the tar road, where it takes you literally 2 mins to get to the bus stop or car park - I love that! In between its sprinkled with some local goodness like Leis, sarongs, & coconut water.

By the time we got to the hotel, it was time for our first Hawaiian experience, a Luau. Its basically a cultural show where they rip you off for ok food, decent show, nice desserts and strong drinks at an open bar to numb any judgements you may pass. Everybody is happy, tipsy, and ready to sexy dance on the stage with gorgeous girls in hula skirts and showmen with washboard abs, something they wouldn't do otherwise.

Our room in the Makai tower of the Hilton Waikoloa had breathtaking views of the ocean, the beach, & the dolphin lagoon, the other bonuses were the pool view and the proximity to everything! The hotel has 3 main towers and boat rides and a tram way to get to any location within the hotel property. It's a really well maintained hotel in terms of conserving the natural surroundings for most part and building the rest of the amenities keeping in mind the aesthetics of natural surroundings.

Next morning was how every vacation morning should be - lazy. My son and I walked down to the sand area for him to do some urgent digging around and sand showering. We then decided that the best way to celebrate our anniversary day was to lock ourselves at the bottom of the pacific ocean floor and discuss things so neither could run away from an argument and once in a while gasp at the astounding ocean life - reefs, pretty fish, predator fish, shipwrecks, everything we could get our hands on for an hour.

Our Sunday again was how every Sunday should be - do nothing and whatever you do make sure its at leisure - late breakfast, waddle about in the pool, even later lunch, laze around on the beach side cabanas, lazily watch the dolphins while devouring chunks of brownie with ice cream, walk around on the coral strewn beach, pick some interesting shapes and make your son name them, and end it with a beautiful Hawaiian sunset - the sun set in the sky vs the horizon like it normally does here. Spectacular is a huge understatement. It disappeared into the sky like dying embers start to lose their glow.

Our Monday again was like how Mondays have never been, filled with to-do lists we actually enjoyed ticking off - drive across the island to experience the different terrains & climates, waterfalls, and nonchalantly hover over one of the most active volcanoes in the world, Mauna Loa, as it spew hot molten lava. The landscape in a matter of an hour changed from barren to green to lush green to slippery wet green.

The next day as we geared up to leave this gorgeousness, we attempted our last brave thing to do in Hawaii as a family; jump into the water with Dolphins. I know you are expecting to read a bit about our experience but sometimes pictures say more than words:

Things we couldn't avoid:

- Indian food since my son is in that age where he is still fond of Indian food and a little too much to my liking. I know some of my friends that know me long enough are laughing hard.

- Bengali tourists: Nothing against them but we found them here too!!! Talking about Bahubali!!!

- Running about: It's a thing in my family out of marriage, we are always running to the airport, to the tour, to the boat, to the session, to everything but we get there and we have fun!

Things I regret:

- Not having enough Hawaiian food, the only thing I got to taste was the Ahi poke and Hawaiian pork fried rice.

- Not extending my vacation to eternity

Things I'll remember:

Everything! My favorite parts where when we would wake up and spend an hour just sitting in the balcony staring at the ocean and its vastness, just walk around during the day, sit by the pool watching the sunset, and end the days again whiling time away watching the waves crash, listening to dolphin sounds, and the birds chirping right from our balcony. For the first time in a while, S and I were both so relaxed, I didn't care if we did or didn't do a gazillion activities or sight seeing that day.

Things you need to remember:

- This long blog post and making it viral because thats so 'In'

- When Coconuts and Pineapples are involved, good things happen!

Aloha M*&%&*F#^*$(% !!!

The trip was in March 2017 but I ended up posting this much later because of my ability to procrastinate.

Motherhood or the 'lack' of it

2015-08-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

This article by Urvashi Butalia is one of the many articles (Read original article here.) and opinions I've read about, for & against the trophy of motherhood ceremoniously handed to women. I have a 2 yr old son and I can't think of a world without him now. The operative word being 'now.' I don't think of him as somebody who will pay for my bills when my husband and I retire (at least not yet), I don't even think of him obligated to give me grand children with my genes to play with (we live pretty close to SF, not being judgmental but simply being open). Having said that, I know quite a few women, acquaintances & close friends, that don't really dream of motherhood. I see a lot of people around me being appalled by it but I cannot for the love of god understand why. I don't see you guys going around asking sadus why they are celibate. Isn't having sex the natural thing to do? In that sense, aren't you going against nature?

A couple of years back, I never felt a thing when I saw a toddler run about. I understood that my husband really wanted a baby and so the more I thought about it, I started getting comfortable with the idea of being parents. I've experienced motherhood and for somebody who was not particularly fond of kids her whole life, I turned into an extremely hormonal and emotional being when they lay him down on me for the 'skin-to-skin' contact. I can't wait to get back home everyday to smother him. So when some women don't feel like they need to have a baby I understand that feeling too because when people don't want the difficult parts that go with having a baby, and trust me the difficult parts easily outweigh the good parts in quantity, they are making a conscious decision. Agreed the pleasure is worth it but how can people assume you are meant to know it without having been there? It's close to impossible to know the feeling of motherhood without actually having gone through it. Loving kids and feeling like the mother are two very different things. The former is your nature and the latter IS nature. There is a science behind it. Believe it or not, there are people that do have the ability to judge whether they want to be parents or not.

Just like there are women that feel the need to be a mother and experience motherhood, there are women that don't feel that need and it's not insane or wrong. I really like the fact that she gave various scenarios where you feel confused about that feeling, you are pressured into thinking about it, and sometimes when you truly don't give a fuck. I so strongly agree with her on the fact that it doesn't have to be 'lack' in a negative sense. So even to those women that really want to become a mother and they think they know what its like to be one, my humble opinion - I doubt they do. I don't mean it in a bad way but there is no way you will know that feeling without you actually having been in the position - applies to adoption and your own baby, more so for your own baby. I really do hope that you enjoy motherhood when you get to it. And for those of you that don't want to and are getting bogged down by the 'I don't understand why not' by others, punch them in the face. I am kidding, just make them watch any Rajshri productions movie, like any movie.

WWSD?

2015-08-19T10:56:00.002-07:00

This is an attempt at a series of things that I think you might face with your offspring whatever age they are at. Mine is currently 2 1/2. I am looking at calling it ‘What Would She Do?’ After my son turned 2, I started getting a little confident about traveling with him and taking him to places. No fault of his, he is a great kid. Very flexible and easy going but like most new moms, I constantly worried about whether any external factors would cause him discomfort right from the availability of food, weather, place, people, etc. I started getting a little bold and my first steps to that was to do my 24hr journey with him to India. I had zero cabin strollers except for my backpack which was stuffed with books, games, electronics, & his food.

This post is more for moms like me that are keen on getting started on traveling around with their toddler but are nervous about what to take along with them and what not to. Here are a few things that really helped me through my 24hr journey:

- Activity books/kits: I know it depends on the child’s interest levels as well but if you are somebody that tries to minimize screen time for your toddler then this is your best bet. You find a ton of them here. I got most of mine from my mom in India. These are a lot of fun for toddlers. Its basically just coloring books, books with stickers in patterns or objects. My son managed to spend a good 4 hrs on these books which is a good chunk of your time. Surprisingly, i don’t see a lot of parents using this option. Its usually the ipad or phone that they give away. Don’t get me wrong, i did that too but I was able to reduce how much time he spent on it. The AC in-flight already causes a lot of dryness in your eyes, staring at the screen for so long doesn’t really help the cause and they become more irritable. You get these in Costco.

- Toys that have some sort of noise free interaction. Great for your fellow travellers, yourself, and above all your kid. Eg: A simple truck that they can pull apart. For those of you that subscribe to subscription boxes for kids. They tend to have these. You’ll be surprised how many of these exist. Here is a sample list of subscription boxes i found for peeps in US:

http://mashable.com/2012/05/22/subscription-boxes-kids-parents/

- Baggage: Its a mistake I’ve seen quite a few parents make. Carrying strollers apart from your usual hand luggage. Huge mistake especially if you are traveling alone. Even with my husband, I haven’t seen it make much of a difference. Just carry one back pack with everything in it. Most airlines are understanding when you want to keep the back pack with you underneath the seat. If you are traveling Lufthansa/British Airways Economy Plus seat, you do have ample leg space to keep your bag throughout the journey as well.

- Convert your toddler’s seating into a play area. Ask for an extra blanket or just use one of the blankets you get, spread it up on the floor of the seat so your toddler can even sit down and play. Again having an ‘Economy Plus’ seat really helps. Toddlers are antsy and they don’t like being tied up period. At least doing this will ensure its safe and sort of clean enough for them. It gives them some amount of freedom of movement or a sense of it.

- Food: My son prefers Indian food and will not touch anything thats bland so I knew that he wasn’t going to eat anything in the flight and I was prepared for that. I got these yoghurt pouches and had a few indian snacks in handy and about 3 bottles of milk. My take on their food through the flight is that they mostly don’t want to eat anything. Probably one of the reasons even we get smaller food portions because we feel quite stuffed just sitting there for a good 20hrs so its quite natural for them to feel that way too and its ok if they don’t eat a whole lot.

I thoroughly enjoyed my first flight alone with my son because a) I really wanted to challenge myself to see how other parents do it b) It's a great experience to work with your child on making them more adaptable c) Your toddler is so much fun once you both get the hang of it.

I hope this blog helped at least some of you.

Milestones

2015-08-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

We measure our lives based on these, we are guided by these, & we change with these sometimes. Your first steps, your first words, then for the longest duration in between its about how much you scored, how many you scored or how much you made for your self and your next generation but there comes a time when you truly start living for yourself.

My dad turned 60 a few weeks ago and so I promptly tucked my son into my arms and braved the long journey to India with him alone. I've been fortunate to travel back and forth to India once every 6 months from the time I moved to the US considering most NRIs are known for their rather infrequent visits because of visa issues and sometimes their personal preference. Me, I am a sucker to go back every 2 months if I could. Hopefully in the long run I don't have to do this and will move back permanently. Friends and family say that will change with time.

This trip was very important to me. I wanted to be there to see my dad turn 60, I wanted to see my dad's twin who has been battling cancer for the last year but has been recovering at a steady pace say 'F$#@ you Cancer,' I wanted to see my son and nephews bring the house down, I wanted to see the friends that stood by me through my worst, I wanted to relax and make a trip that was about me not bothering myself with obligatory visits throughout your "India trip."

Who knew I'd do all of that and more. My mom, the busy ant, is always on the move, always eager to create something and so this time around, she revamped our simple terrace into a beautiful roof top garden with part of it in beautiful red tiles and part of it with terracota floor. As I lay on the terrace in the night I slipped back into childhood memories of sleeping on the terrace as a family and gazing at the stars. The night breeze was the best way I could've kickstarted my vacation.

Getting on the selfie bandwagon with my brother and cousin in an auto

Like most people, I was eager to celebrate my dad's 60th by throwing him a surprise party or something to that affect and call his friends in Tirupati and follow the usual format of a milestone birthday but I am glad none of that materialized because the next week had some much more to offer. My dad's childhood friend, a few aunts, uncle, cousin, niece, my brother together showed me the best time I possibly ever had on Tirumala. Our suite was up and chatty by 5 in the morning every day with my son taking the lead. It started with his jet lagged self just tip toeing about to see all the fans run and me right behind him reciting some nursery rhymes to keep him engaged. There is so much fun in useless banter with family and I had a few days of that.

Few things I am thankful to my husband and god for:

1) What a son we made! 24hrs of journey with a 2 yr and I felt the pinch for probably an hour. Parents of toddlers know how lucky I got there!

2) What a crazy set of parents I have: My dad bought a cruiser bike to mark his 60th and my mom re-designed the entire terrace and converted it into a roof garden. They plan to bring a home solar power system as their next project to keep them busy.

All in all it was one of the best trips back home. I miss being with my family, I miss the cacophony/euphony depending on how you see it, I miss the haphazardness of HOME!

Living the relaxed life

My dad turned 16

Grandma singing to her attentive grandson

One of the many green corners

Living his dream of taking his grandsons on a day out to the zoo

Thatha and manavadu moment on the terrace

His thinking space

Brotherly love

Perched on granny's safe shoulder

Granny's pet

Deliver us from religion, Amen!

2015-04-04T15:54:00.001-07:00

It was a nice breezy evening, an invitation to a relatives house didn't seem like the best thing to be doing but what the hell, I am here to stay so might as well start getting used to this phase of life. A few appetizers down the tummy started a conversation I am not particularly fond of. The quintessential NRIs and a couple of visiting deshvasis' chatting about how we should make an effort in preserving the Hindu in us through the gentle touch of shringar kumkum on our foreheads. It started with the reprimanding of an innocent 12yr old for not doing so. My eyes started to roll involuntarily.

There was a gentleman who taught the Indians of the world about Hindutva
There was a gentleman who taught Indians of the world about karma and dharma
and there was the gentleman who also didn't bother to take care of his papa and mumma
so, enlighten me now what is the jazz of teaching about Hindutva?

An article I read some where once said 'Indian values are a red herring.' I couldn't agree with this more but in a more positive light that the beauty of Hindutva is that it is not a religion, a philosophy. Why would you waste your breath in trying to turn this beauty into a cult? As a 'religion' it provides you the flexibility to evolve. While I say this, I don't intend to dismiss the good things christianity or Islam or any other religion carries.

I strongly believe in everything having a good and bad side. Like everything else, religion has a good and bad side to it. The strength/lack of it in religion lies in what you want to get out of it. Some support rituals with scientific causes and some diss them as old practices that do nothing but cause discomfort.

Three of us were passionately talking about god and our relation to him - a skeptic, a believer, and a hopeful. While we had our constant differences about why religion is good or bad, we definitely agreed on the fact that as illogical as it can be at times or always as an atheist would claim, it's definitely something that provides that inner strength that few can muster to gather in testing times. As cliched as it sounds, the rays called god give you that hope.

I didn't discover my relationship with god and what I thought I ought to do till I read a book which was my moment of epiphany to answer all questions about karma & dharma. How do people get off putting a structure around that? Lets give our relationship to god its share of magic and sense of supreme by making it unstructured.

Don't touch the screen!

2015-03-29T23:25:00.001-07:00

I recently bumped into a page on Wired while working on something mundane (big surprise!), #maketechhuman. Ideally i should've spent 10 secs, looked for what I was looking for, found it, shut it, get done. Thats how tech works anyway right? Constantly helping you get things done faster, right from the Ctrl + F to Siri understanding my south indian accent (personally toh i don't have any bas kehne ki baat hain). But I froze, not because of the locks in my shoulder muscles but because this hashtag unlike most made me think.

Wired says, we know you're excited about technology, maybe you're worried. Tell us about it. I've always fiercely defended Google's strategy to collect the world's information and make it easily accessible to itself to improve our lives. I mean whats the harm right? I know, I know, will I say that when they get closer to controlling our lives in the pretext of making it easy. May be I will be worried. This is probably my version of #maketechhuman, here's what I am really worried about right now though what if technology takes up so much space in my life that I stop being human. Oh no I am not talking about saving lives or feeding the poor & hungry. I am talking about what if I slowly start to lose everything thats human about me. We are constantly looking at making our lives easier through leaps in technology. My mom can at the tap of a finger sing to my son like she was sitting next to him and be his virtual grandmother, for that I am very grateful but I also see how technology is consuming so much of our lives that we are gradually starting to lose some really basic human skills like communicating, and letting your eyes capture moments.

Have you ever stopped to think when was the last time you had a conversation about something you didn't see on facebook/twitter/linked In? Increasingly you find it difficult to have conversations for the heck of it, and we have passed on more of that to the next generation or even the younger adults in our generation. A conversation needs a purpose now, it has become a transaction. I find myself in an awkward situation every time it has to go beyond that. A pragmatic would say 'Isn't that great?' 'No more chit chatting.' What I feel we forget is that the very absence of this pointless talking is making us more lonely. Has tech helped humans connect, hell yes it has but have we? I don't think so! I always nag with the various whatsapp groups that I am a part of about the million 'funny' forwards that take up phone space and thats all there is to it. We never really converse. What about life's moments? capturing them is as important as living them and we do a great job with all the selfies, landscapes, potraits, feet on the beaches, shadows on the walls, the list just can go on. I haven't seen many that just take it easy and breathe in the few moments of vacation they get in between their sedentary lifestyles. You spend most of your time capturing these moments then you come back to see these moments as a screensaver on your desktop just to say 'I want to go back there now.' Part of me reflects the changes technology dependency has led to and part of me tries to reject that dependency. So the next time you see me making an awkward conversation or none at all while slowly reaching out to my touch screen... scream "Don't touch the screen!"

My Experiments

2014-04-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to chronicle all the little things that amuse me, teach me, and reinforce what I learn at MIT, I have started a new blog on Tumblr which in itself is an experiment to try another microblogging site. My first post is about my 6th Birch Box that is much like the Pet Rock - A blatant way for 2 HBS ladies to make money off of willing victims like myself to be pampered by fancy little samples of all things new and beautiful self paid for.

http://ruthusreebashyam.tumblr.com/
Visit and be nice!

Life and its relation to the Circle!

2014-02-18T21:27:00.001-08:00

Senility begins and middle age ends when descendants outnumber friends. Too early for me to think about middle age and lesser friends but a series of events got me wondering if I was getting there earlier than I am supposed to. With my son away in desh, I was heavily dependent on technology to ensure I stayed in his hippocampus. As most trips to India, this one was heavily planned as well, and I was overtly excited about it but a sudden unfortunate incident brought me back to square one. The last year has been marked by constant changes that have tested me for flexibility of a trapeze artist considering my resistance to change is unpleasant(very mildly put) to me and others around me. The one thing I have admired in a very good friend but hated being put through was to be able to let go of a structure and not have a boundary. Ironically, its the one thing I have come out learning with all of these changes.

My father-in-law that I barely got to spend time with passed away in a month of being bed ridden. I say thank god! Not because I didn't like him but because I liked him. I'd rather see him gone in peace than see him crumble away in pieces. For 13 days S's home was filled with family and well wishers. It was then that I actually behaved like a mom with claws. Fiercely protective about who fed my son and whose hands he was in for a nano second. Babies don't do well with crowds irrespective of how adorable they are otherwise and so he set the expectations right. Day 2 and he just wouldn't let go which I was rather happy about. Introspection exposed me to rather shameful thoughts - they might hurt my son, that goddamn evil eye again, what if... I did indeed turn into the heavy grip shudh desi maa that wants to simulate all possible events in her head and accordingly control them in a crazy anticipation of the event actually happening. Oh its happening now! Anytime now! It's at that precise moment of introspection that I wanted to call up my mom and tell her "I get it!"

While I was under the false impression that I was cold blooded for leaving my son behind with his grandparents, this trip erased all traces of that impression to the last spot - I was hot blooded, not warm, steaming hot like the geyser in Rotorua.

Change is tough to cope with outside of you or within you, if the shifting fluids within me made me feel like I was going to meet Yamraj(not to be confused with Yashraj, of course depending on your taste of movies your reaction could be more or less the same) then ageing parents of your closed ones can make you feel like your parents have suddenly turned into people made of thin delicate glass. He and I used to take those walks up to Kapilatheertham without slowing down to catch a breath but now I catch him pant heavily for a flight of stairs. She used to remember everything right from all the numbers and birthdays in the phone book to zillion mantras she still recites but I did see her pause for a minute the other day over something very trivial. When did my supermom begin to slow down. She still does give me a run for my money for the energy she has to get things done but just a teeny tad bit slower. It's really nothing but starts to become something when you see changes around you - empty chairs, lost voices, re-occupied spaces.

It hurts to watch them not respond to the crowds & the cacophony of the ceremonies. It strains to tell yourself, its ok they've made peace but its paralyzing when you return to find them gone.

The MIT experience

2013-09-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

Its something I never really dreamed of for myself. I always assumed it was my brothers that would hold the MIT degree, and i'd be beaming about it to the whole world. So, every time the T announced "Next stop, Kendall MIT Cambridge" my heart beat faster because I was walking the infinite corridor like it was meant to be mine. Although I have been going to school for technically a year. I hadn't truly experienced the MIT world until now that I have started to live by myself in the heart of Cambridge.

I now walk with the same rush in my step that most students have. My anxiety over how i'd live by myself ended when I took that walk down to the post office and wandered back through the lanes, when my to-do list was done and refilled, when i waited for the bus just to watch it roll in, drive away and then turned around towards the T-station and I was still ok.

I like the busy me I have realized. My calendar and to-do list remain full with changing events but i still make time to watch one odd movie. Today, I met Prof. Noam Chomsky, the man my dad spoke so much about. It was an event for the book "What lies across the water" by Stephen Kimber but on panel was Noam Chomsky. I would've missed this one too just like I missed the Dalai Lama visit if it weren't for my drifting glance at the old man standing inside right under the dome distributing pamphlets, I shuffled about for 2 secs considering whether I should give in to his unsaid request to pick up the brochure. Me being me I felt obliged to do it because I am the nice girl that doesn't like to be rude in most occasions. I still would've just folded the pamphlet and let it sink right to the bottom of my handbag but instead I looked at it and it paid. An event where I could potentially meet Prof. Noam Chomsky. There was no way I was going to miss that.

I can bet that most of the audience was there just to get a glimpse of Prof. Chomsky. As he walked in, I wondered if he would speak at all tonight because I saw an 84 year old man that could barely sit comfortably without the occasional

It was a great session with everybody talking passionately about how we should fight for the cause of the Cuban 5 and similar causes that Western Hemisphere and the Left from MIT where supporting. As expected there was the man with a banner about Syria attacks and a man with a crazy hat full of badges and a tshirt that read "we are all palestinians!". My point being, MIT and other universities of the same caliber give so many opportunities for you to meet influential people like Noam Chomsky that it changes you in parts, and I guess that is a huge part of what business school does to you as well. Before you realize, you've learnt so much more than you would've expected to.

Earlier today, I attended a Google product management info session for Sloan, and I kept thinking about how it felt weird being on the other side. It also reminded me of the amazing opportunities we had to meet and listen to accomplished people like Jane Goodall, APJ Kalam, & Vint Cerf. Social activists within India like Amala, & Sunitha Krishnan.

It's experiences like these that make going to a business school and working on ridiculous assignments truly worth it!

Baby, i am your puppet on a string...

2013-05-20T12:36:00.001-07:00

Making me tumble and swing
trouble's what you bring
strange love
strange how, you control my every little move now
hanging from your strings is all i know

Koop probably had a young lad in mind but the words really do reflect my experience as a first time mom! For most women, the core like a good friend says is to cater to everyone around you willingly so when some one steps in to your life that adamantly insists they need you and you alone; its time to say a big 'oh yeahhhh' that's right I am kind of a big deal around here!

People that know me well enough know straight away that I am not a kids person so when the kit turned green indicating someone taking up space in my belly I worried for it. The baby was going to be my guinea pig! The first two weeks are overwhelming with a paramount feeling of attachment after that it's pretty much like a routine of jumping from task to task. The hormonal interactions are purely chemical and considered to be the most powerful forms in nature, and who was I to fight something like that so I willingly succumbed. The surprise however did not lie in watching my husband choke or seeing my mom tear up when she first saw him, the surprise lay in the 3 a.m toothless grin making you feel like your presence pleases somebody so much and that there is no one else they'd rather see on opening their eyes is sure to bring tears to your eyes.

As I watch my contemporaries and their kids growing up, I always wonder how S is going to be, is he going to be a troubled sleeper making me want to say "yeh toh mujhe nichod ke rakh dega" (quoting a friend about her daughter, i couldn't stop laughing for an hour), is he going to squat indian style on the dining table almost giving everyone around a heart attack because he couldn't let himself into the washroom, or is he going to pretend to be helpful just to taste some brew out of the 'oh so interesting' green bottle. For now, I will continue to hum in my sleep while beating my chest giving every one the impression of being possessed.

With baby comes a few good things,

genes,

... and some beautiful things that the stork leaves behind.

Of new beginnings

2013-01-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

I've had a lot of first times over the last couple of months. Living on the east coast, stepping from under my parents protective wing, snow on my coat. Trivial yet something I had a longing to see was snow fall. I have seen snow more in form of glaciers near the Himalayas and trekked on it at Franz Josef but never the gliding of tiny soft balls of white making their presence felt. Anybody who hasn't seen snow fall secretly would kill to see one. I just haven't met anyone that doesn't care about seeing snow. Your first snow fall is almost like your first kiss. Yes, I am being dramatic but I am like that ok? The intensity and the quantity doesn't matter what matters is that it happened and you were there to witness it happen. I remember feeling like a kid when I saw the first tiny balls of snow after my Finance class. A girl walking ahead spread her arms out Shahrukh Khan style and had the most content smile on her face. I initially dismissed this drizzle as rain but was quick enough to notice this felt nicer on your face. I sheepishly confirmed with Shahrukh Khan if this was snow indeed! A cheerful yes in reply. I quickly grabbed my smartphone to share this with friends & family. Having known me for years they knew the right thing to do was to cheer on :)

Another first time is the little one that crawled into my belly without making much of a splash initially but rippling out huge waves of excitement soon enough. I was never too excited to begin with because there was always an overwhelming fear or awkwardness that there is something inside me. Just like in the alien movies except this time around I had a deep sense of protecting it. The rosy feeling about being connected and motherhood is something that doesn't come easy, and I don't see it touching me anytime soon. I still treat him like he is going to be somebody I can take along when I want to travel. Its probably the fear I've always associated with responsibility and there is nothing like the responsibility of shaping somebody's life. I do have those random thoughts about taking him to the Jim Corbett park or Agumbe where Malgudi was apparently shot. Experienced moms around tend to advice me about building a bond through conversations he can now hear. I gave in and failed miserably. What I do feel glad about is how smoothly I transitioned from month 1 to month 8 while studying Finance, researching on wireless lighting, designing a robot, waking up at 6 every morning to be at college till 9 in the night with almost no signs of sickness and better skin. The only thing I have truly missed is to be able to live up to my image of doing crazy things and travelling but life hasn't ended right? Life has begun within me.

Durham-Laconia

2012-10-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

I never quite understood why everyone made such a big deal about Fall colors or seasons in general! Where I come from, it was always Peak Summer, Less Summer, Summer. These were the only seasons I knew of. But as my life turned new leaves with baby & college, the trees around were busy shedding theirs. The first few leaves on the sidewalks made me realize the reddish-brown & yellow weren't such a bad color at all. Then started my enthusiasm to see what I always assumed were photoshopped pics of Fall colors. Our attempts to wake up early in the morning to drive down to New Hampshire or Maine were countless. We finally made it this weekend with a couple of friends. Its a 2 hour drive up north from Boston. We basically were a bit late on the Fall schedule and so had to really pray hard that we'd find some of that color! The drive to NH was quite smooth in the Lexus 350. The one thing that worked in our favor the first half of the day was definitely the weather. It was mostly cloudy and the highways gave us a splendid panoramic view of the foliage up ahead. The key in catching these colors even if you are cutting it too close to the end of seeing the Fall colors is to drive in to the by lanes and the inner town roads so you can take the time and pull over to capture the colors which you definitely can't do on highways.

The good thing about US is that you more often than not find pockets of reservation area or untouched forest like area between every city/town. We started with a quick trip around the husband's college campus. He was quite obviously thrilled to show us the buildings he remotely had anything to do with during his college days including a place for ice creams by the train station. As his thoughts were soaked in nostalgia, all I could think of was 'How the hell do you get yourself to study in a place that looks like this?'

The campus looked like a Yash Chopra set minus the corny songs. We went into inner town roads closer to lake Winnipesaukee. Here's what we found:

I just wanted to spread the picnic mat and slip into a series of dreams under the red & yellow canopy and with sun rays peering through them. I've done that before and am fully aware of the pleasure it provides! There was absolutely nothing around but the trees and a quiet winding road. Our plan was to head to Frumes Gorge next but by the time we stopped for lunch and were ready for the Gorge, it was closing time. We did however get a good drive by the Lake Winnipesaukee and stopped by a few scenic spots which seemed more like bug spots in spite of a good view of the gorgeous lake!

One fine day!

2012-10-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

As much as I love days full of things to do, I'd like to clarify I do not mean the cooking, cleaning, and running errands sort of things but the having fun sort of a day, I really do love the one-off quiet day that goes by without much done on the outside. I had the amazing day of doing nothing but be locked in a library, eat some delicious Italian food, and end it with some philosophy at a train station. Concord library was my first stop that day. My right-after-marriage life had started to pose one threat - boredom from being a housewife. Shravan suggested I head to the library so the books can keep me busy that day. Sounds good! Off I went into the Concord library. I started at the magazine section right by the door and glided through the comic strips to novels and finally to travel, my true calling. I read my first physical New Yorker April edition, and really liked the articles for how random they got. I read an article on the Mad Men series that talked about what the time frame for nostalgia is for any given generation, and the Belchel dykes comic strips. Dykes strips unfortunately didn't hold my attention long enough that I just randomly looked at books and bumped into Gone With The Wind alternatives but before I could read the first page my love, travel, took over and led me to 'No horizon so far' that had me like a puppet on strings for the next few hours till I got buzzed by the husband for lunch time. An hour of relishing Agn Aragosta and Tiramisu, I was back with Liv and Ann while they lost their radios. While their journey continued, mine ended in a few hours by a bench at the concord railway station reading everyone's philosophy guide Fountainhead ... Un jour parfait is all it was!

The one with matted hair!

2012-07-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

My nth attempt to write a post about this, and I am still at a loss of words when it comes to this one crazy hell of a trip that tested me physically, mentally, and my funny bone. I do make it sound like I've conquered peaks but for me this was close enough. There are trips you plan for months, and there are trips you plan in weeks ... this was one that changed in days. All we had planned for sure was destination 'Valley Of Flowers' through Delhi. Two excited pro-back packers + two excited yet unsure about the 'plan' travellers makes for a memorable trip that still cracks me up when I think about it. It wasn't just about us goofing around sometimes it was how the plot itself turned out to be.

When we first started planning for this, the only thing that went on in my head was how my brother used to passionately talk about his friends that used to trek to the base camp or some exotic location in the North-east. I was excited to say the least. Plans fell into place and our journey pretty much started when I found Jeru and Shirley standing on the wrong platform at the station. Unfortunately, I had my brother with me to whom this was shocking in the world of travel. I swear I did hear him say ... Excellent! under his breath. Our 24hr long train journey was just about ok with Shirley shaking the hell out of the little tea cups, Jeru sharing more ghost stories, playing cards(extremely unpredictable I must point out), and a co-passenger later turned friendly who abruptly pleaded us to stop bitching about Telugu engineers (we obviously didn't know he was one till he stopped us)!

After a bit of a struggle, Jeru's pics with the morcha, and meeting up with Roma, we hired a cab ride to Rishikesh. Unlike the cab guy promised, we were hot and sweaty. Ofcourse! what were we thinking, the cab guy had our best interest... I felt better once when we got to Haridwar where my camera and I had a tete-a-tete with him...

My love for him my girls said was almost blasphemous as I was pretty much obsessed with him.. still am! I would like to think of it as what Meera probably had. The evening only got better with a beautiful sun set on the hill side while we drove to our destination. One thing I've only gotten better at is taking chances with hotels and once in a while depending on your Lonely Planets'. Our cabbie suggested, and we followed not to be disappointed this time around. It was a nice place with basic rooms, and a brilliant view of the Ganges. Just to make us feel we were in the weed zone was an aptly placed sadu baba with strings of rudraksh and some random jewellery that westerners would be charmed by for Indian tribal jewellery. He sure did take some pics of foreigners modelling in his jewellery to add strength to his silent sales pitch. The garden was converted to an open air restaurant that made our dinner a very relaxed one. We got back to our elements with feeding and cuddling up with the 'wolf-dogs' as I call them and ended the evening by catching fire-flies and sticking them on Shirley's forehead. Not sure how much fun she had but knowing what a good sport she is we didn't stop :) It was just the sort of evening you want when you are on your vacation.

Bad blurry pics but good memories!

The days to follow took us through a range of things we didn't imagine ourselves to be in but am glad we were. We kickstarted our day at 5 in the morning with a cab to take us right up to Govindghat as opposed to our original plan of going to Joshimath and then trekking to Ghangharia. Our first pitstop was 5 mins away from our hotel to quickly collect some Holy Ganges water for my mom, needless to say she was thrilled to have some. Our cab driver this time was an extremely chatty ex-army man who pretty much acted as our tour guide too. Little did I know that we would actually be passing by all the Prayags that I had only seen in pictures and wondered if they were really that beautiful and daunting at the same time. Prayags geographically are confluence points of two water bodies. Devprayag, the Bhagirathi & Alaknanda confluence, was the kickstarter to an incredible road trip. Our driver who was at that point still sane stopped for us to finish our duty as a tourist to click pictures and gasp in awe. Gasp I did but not because we were supposed to but because thats your reaction to something that intimidating. I now understand first-hand why there are seasons for rafting in Rishikesh. If mountains make you humble, valleys can drag you right down to where you belong and show you hell while at it. That vicious flow can leave you numb because you won't have the time to feel anything. Nevertheless, they are beautiful and picturesque. The almost organized flow of positively brown confluence is massive and energetic as hell. Been there done that picture is clicked and we are off cruising along Alaknanda. The rest of the prayags were no surprise. We stopped by in between for some not so yumm food but its what we had to do considering we were anyway stuck in a traffic jam. Huge stones were being hurled into the valley by an SUV sized bull dozer and the mud leveled onto the road. Post lunch our journey continued on narrow winding roads at altitudes a couple of thousand feet high that held us back for more than our share of standstill due to mud slides, and wild streams with super clean drinkable water that would give mineral water bottles a run for its money. Another really long wait at another mud slide zone brought the best out of our stupid citizens that yet again failed to think about the bigger issue and just went about zipping around creating more of a jam on the muddy slippery barely 30 feet wide mountain road. It finally took a bunch of army men and a handful of smart people, among a queue of 20 odd buses filled with people, to bring about order and clear the path. This is how it looked like:

The prettier side of the queue... you can actually see the line of buses extend all the way to the left.

Needless to say, this and the lunch made post-noon a tad bit tiresome and evidently so when our driver started to take cat naps while driving. Me being me, had my eye on everything and noticed him trying to multi-task. Sleeping beauty was almost going to ram right into a parked Alto when I screamed bloody murder, and we knew it was time for a tea break!

Apparently, that wasn't a great idea either. Now an inexplicable hurry seemed to possess him and he went racing up gravelled high mountain roads with Schumacher confidence which I have to say got us a bit worried about our lives and Hindi movie style I started praying and thinking about all the mean things I said last to people and 'I love you mom.' The North Indian in that asshole made him step harder on the gas pedal whilst we begged him to slow down given the valleys were quite deep and waiting to pop us in like a peanut. His argument, while he proudly waved his hand out of the window probably indicating he could beat speeds of light, sound and wind, was that this is home, and he knows what he is doing. I had to step in and save my friends lives which I hesitated for a long time because it involved something I had to do which I knew would come back and bite me in the ass real hard but the caring me did get coaxed into doing that. Turns out calling him 'Bhaiyya' throughout the day wasn't enough to clarify my stand on a possible one-day courtship.

The roads we rushed through ....

.... and where we would end up... isn't that a pretty picture!

Getting to Govind ghat was probably the best thing that happened to me after I confined myself to the Munni sort of song list on my phone. We had a good nights rest at Hotel Bhagat which though seemed like a random off the road hotel that you wouldn't seek out; it had a really good window view of the hills that we were to trek the following day. The hotel had a little terrace that we got up to along with a limping Pom and even in the night when you could barely see them the mountains did still send shivers down our spines.

Our 14km trek to Ghangharia started at 7 in the morning. You only have two ways to get to Ghangharia - by Horse or good old feet. People usually send their luggage as well by horses or porters that carry it all the way up to Ghangharia to the hotels. We had hardly done our first km through the cobbled path pasted with horse shit and we found two main attractions - Marijuana plants & a really good spot for our first set of pics on the trek. I won't say much about the finer things in life but the picturesque ones were the green valleys, the low hanging clouds and the strong currents flowing all of which brought about an eclectic rhythm and a mood that puts you to peace immediately. The initial climb was alright, we were curious about every berry around and our enthusiasm levels the highest for the day helped forget the pain of trekking. But as the sun rose and we were close to our Maggi break synonymous with the hills, we were one down. Paroma chose the horse over her feet. I was tempted to but resisted. Here is when we met a colleague that we fondly started to call the Human Mule. He was I swear!! He was quite fast and tireless and didn't need the Maggi. Almost 5hrs up, and we had just about done around 7kms. We had now gotten to a point where just a few feet below by the rocky banks was Ganges flowing full force and freezing cold. The mountain goat quickly spotted a way down for a good 10 min break. Our feet thanked us when we kicked off our shoes and dipped our feet in the freezing cold water. It's definitely not the part of Ganges to take a complete dip for you wouldn't resurface. We also did the customary pee break behind the bushes.

I don't know how Jeru and Shirley were that calm about their persistent tiredness or they probably didn't feel that tired but 'I am gonna die' had soon become a chant for me. The last 1km was the worst as it had started to get dark and some Langurs decided to keep us company. We struggled it out and that day was a slap on my face in terms of how fit I was. I have to say the route was fun to trek though because of 70 yr old Sikh men that charged on tirelessly, returning Sikh pilgrims that distributed those orange candies and Glucon-D to tired passersby, friendly Sadhus bordering Hermits who offered us tea (not the creepy ones), and the absolutely gorgeous landscape itself that was a constant treat to the eyes.

The government guesthouses are extremely basic rooms and are not super clean in terms of mattresses, quilts, bathrooms. There are the much more expensive private camping places though.
Paroma and I chose to follow the other two an hour later the next morning for the trek up Valley of Flowers. Apart from an embarrassing situation with a porter, the trek up to the valley is brilliant to say the least. I am no Botanist, and it doesn't take one to see the beauty in this almost untouched part of the Nandadevi Biosphere. Once I hit a huge rock in the main part of the valley, all I did was sit myself down and listen to Lisa Gerrard's 'Now we are free' while staring into the blue skies, the far away snow capped peaks, and rugged mountain wilderness of the UNESCO site. There is a sense of calm and peace that places like these bring into you and like I've always said nothing makes you feel as humble as the mountains do.

The entry to the valley shuts by 3pm and it can start to drizzle as it gets late and because of the climate camping is also not allowed in the valley either. There are points during the valley where you practically need to hop over huge stones or a shaky tin sheet to cross not so very small streams. I now have the hang of going down like a goat on a foot wide dusty trail that clings on to the mountain on one side and flaunts a hundred feet drop into the river on the other side. We ended the day in an extremely rigorous foot massage session from a local massage guy who can give the Latitudes Spa guys a run for their money as the art to massage runs in his blood as weird as that sounds.

I still curse the moment we decided to take horses down the trek back to Govindghat in spite of watching the kid wail her lungs out on our way up. Yes, we are guilty of jeering at the poor kid as the horse very effortlessly kept tossing her up like a ping pong ball while making his way down carefully enough to avoid the drop down. At one point there were so many horses coming down that to give them way I had to cling on tightly to a rock close by like a bug and scream once again 'I think I am going to die!' My trek back on the horse wasn't any different. I started the uncomfortable ride back with a 'Kamala(Horse), please!!!!!.' Worse even, the cute guy in bad pants that was around when we laughed at the little girl ... he was grinning looking at me now. Ladies & Gentlemen, however tough the trek is never ever take a horse back down. Horse on your way up is cool. On your way down.... uh uh! Here is what happens, the horse is going to very carefully concentrate on making his/her way down but will keep slipping on the smoothened stones along the path, will stop for snack breaks and bend right into the valley side to grab some greens on the walls of the mountain while giving you a very clear view of how far and scary the drop would be(I cried at this point), and will take off not understanding the master was being silly and the rider is having a heart attack from the surprise thrown at her. How can we forget the blue love marks the ride leaves.

Our next destination was something we decided on trip, Badrinath. It was pretty much a 'might as well do it since its on the way' stop. My mom was more excited considering I was that close to the holy place. If the previous few days were beautiful for the landscape, the next few were brilliant for the silly things we did. A two hour drive and after checking in to the hotel at Badrinath, we asked around for the ATM, got back to our room and figured we just had a day's room rent. The suspicious hotel admin figured they should take the first day's rent before hand just in case. We quite confidently handed it over like it didn't pinch us at all. We walked straight to the ATM. Places at these altitudes run into these problems, and we experienced it first hand. Being a very tourist heavy place during that time of the year, the one ATM in the entire place keeps running into shortage. The way up to one of the most prominent char dhams is fraught with pockets of landslide areas so bringing cash on time can be a bit off the mark. With just about 1000 bucks among the 4 of us, I seriously considered selling my gold rings because the ATM gave us no guarantee of spitting out the crisp notes next evening and stories of landslides around had already reached us or we imagined it. Either way, we were in soup. We stuck to sharing Maggi plates that night and enjoyed watching a smoked up sadu dance around in joy. Paroma and I visited the temple and brought back some holy goodies. We followed Paroma's idea to walk it up to Mana, the Indian village on the Indo-Tibetan/China border. It was a super-easy trek through to Mana. A couple of hours of sitting in the chai shop helped us bond with the local folk who told us about a goods carrier sort of cable car that can help us get to the other side of the river. This obviously was followed by a warning that absolutely no one takes the cable car simple because its unreliable. We got to know later on that the Army doesn't use it either so we felt quite good about actually taking it. Its a typical cable cage pulled across manually!

A 10 min walk and we found ourselves infront of an army camp. I realised that day that Jeru and I shared the same love for men in uniform. I love them! Something about them when they ride in on their green bullets, army uniform, crew cut, & aviator glasses. Dodge that! Could you blame me for not watching my step? After being rejected permission to enter their premises, we almost lost hope of any interaction with that world. I guess asking to let us drink tea sounded pretty lame. We laughed at it ourselves! But a certain 'caught-my-eye' act got us through to the camp, this time around the excuse was to play volleyball which apparently is a better excuse. The 'Captain' as we fondly continued to address him took a special interest, arranged for a volley ball match and served us some hot pakoda's. The match was so much fun because I didn't know I still had it in me to at least serve so well as to win points against army men. Our team won most matches... and no they weren't nice because there was one girl on the team. They did put their game face on. It's a shame the girls didn't want to play. We were asked to dine in as well. At that point the one thing we were relieved of was that it was 9 in the night, and we din't know if the ATM was going to work might as well hog on the free army food we were lovingly being served!

We had a couple of army men and a lovely dog escort us back to the hotel. The walk back was equally beautiful. The star lit night skies, the cold, and money in the ATM. It couldn't have ended better but we spoke too soon as the hotel guys sent out a 'search party' for us as they assumed something had happened to us because we were out so late. I still stand by my impression that they were more worried about their payment than anything else. They claimed that if anything would've happened to us the police would've blamed them and things would get ugly for them. It could be true but I still think there was the whole money angle to it as well. After an hour long discussion about our duties as hotel guests we retired to our rooms to ghost stories and screams. The hotel room looked exactly like the high roofed old maternity hospitals with green double doors that had 1x1 glass windows on the top half.

A bit of travel trivia here. The total distance from Delhi to Govindghat(the last place you can drive till for the destination) is approx 500kms. Here's how our unplanned itinerary turned out to be:

Day 1: Hyderabad - Delhi by train
Day 2: Delhi - Haridwar - Rishikesh
Day 3: Rishikesh - Govindghat
Day 4: Govindghat - Ghangharia
Day 5: Ghangharia - Valley of flowers - Ghangharia
Day 6: Ghangharia - Govindghat - Badrinath
Day 7: Mana

Rishikesh -70- Devprayag - 34 -Srinagar - 20 - Rudraprayag - 52 - Nandprayag - 55 - Joshimath - Vishnuprayag - 20 - Govind ghat - 14 - Ghangharia - 3 - Valley of Flowers

Diaries of a newly wed!

2012-04-11T15:27:00.006-07:00

Look for a poem involving the moon, the stars, & the roses wound up with complicated ways of saying "Te amo," and you shall be disappointed not because I won't use them but just not in the most romantic way. I did do something quite cheesy here though! Pen this down on my one month anniversary :)

Let me start with 'The Roses,' and this is a true story. I hate roses! except the ones that grow in New Zealand and the ones that he sent me as a surprise ... I blushed like any bride-to-be would.

The moon, I've always liked this Mr. Moon more for weird reasons and less for matters of the heart but the one time I was caught sitting under the moonlight sipping on my glass of wine eating some good food in the courtyard of an Ivy covered bungalow with Seven I said my first "Te Amo" silently to myself because at that point thats what mattered ... did I or didn't I?

The Stars, I can't believe I was quoted as well on a very public forum but after going through the tedious task of being the "tie e" of the knot, Seven was going to point out to an inspirational couple residing in their celestial abode. By god I would've definitely said my prayers if it weren't for the sun shining nice and bright in our faces. Lo and behold, that's when I realised my marital life commenced in full swing because ... abhi se din mein taare dikha raha hain! The boggled me couldn't keep that to herself and said it loud and clear to a larger audience!

Along with throwing rice grains portraying the beginning of our marriage, friends and foes threw in a bunch of advice too! Be patient, look nice everyday in the evening for when he comes home, cook really well, pray everyday for his well being, be patient, keep the house clean, sort out the visa issues, be patient :)

I don't know if I do the right things, and I don't know if he has a checklist as well but he brings a smile to my face when he gets me my special pink vaseline (rosy lips), when he gets me my mini Baileys, & when he whips out some awesome prawn curry - mind you each of these were surprises. I only hope I do the same to him when I hug him first thing in the morning & when he comes home, when I try hard to cook something nice for him, & when I sing "I am sexy and I know it" for him!

Seven, you caught me drooling & snoring in my sleep, you saw me cook real bad, I shared your toothbrush & confessed I couldn't do without the mug! Here's to more such embarrassing moments and unravelling the crazy us to each other :) Bring it on!

Got a fast car and flew away!

2011-08-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

"Karna wake up! How long are you going to sleep like that... its late in the morning" was something that fell on his selectively deaf ears until the 1yr old dutifully crept into the bed and kissed her brother awake. She plonked herself stubbornly on the wild grass bang opposite daddy's office till the responsible 3yr old convinced her, picked her up in his arms and took her back.

As they set up the beds and tv on the roof for a Wednesday night with Byomkesh Bakshi, the power went out so they all just lay on the mattress and stared at the stars instead. It got really late that night and the kids didn't know what to do because the parents were out economically shopping for sanitary ware for the under-construction house so she oiled his hair, fed him, held on tightly to him and they both slipped into their respective dream lands with Renuka Shahane's voice in the background as she spoke about sawaal-jawaab, and he never got tired of listening to 'muddugare yashoda' in her untrained yet crystal voice.

They've all been haunting me from the time I heard that the house on Indiranagar next to the old Khammam dairy was last inhabited by us. Looks like it wasn't meant to be anyone else's just like our Tarnaka house which last saw us 3 kids fighting to get a ride on our dad's bullet. They said it was haunted but at the same time it was hauntingly beautiful with guava trees, and many others. It was the summer house for all our cousins who would run all day long playing around the trees occasionally dipping their steel glasses into the drum of Rasna after they licked the back of their palms saying 'tampleez'(short for 'time please'). Its now a boring swanky apartment maybe with a bunch of "IT professionals" like us. Oh please send me back into the Sepia mode!

Why this sudden bout of nostalgia .... I don't know ... maybe it was the episode of Byomkesh Bakshi I stumbled on DD the other day while looking for the latest travel channels, maybe its the fact that my parents and my older brother drove down to Khammam just to enjoy old memories in person, or maybe its just that I can't believe I saw my own blood(almost) just 2 weeks ago kicking his legs and cooing his way into our hearts and wished I was in the crib instead of him just so I could grow up a little and confirm if I was indeed my mom's golden one :)

All these are a few of my favorite things!!!

Hey Lady Boy!

2011-06-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble

Two nights makes a woman go crazy shopping.

Can't be too careful with your company

I can feel the lady boy walking next to me.

Bangkok, oriental setting

yet gives you an Indian feeling

And the girls don't know what the girls are getting

Time flies, doesn't seem a minute

Since the Tuk Tuk boys had us girls in it

All gems, didn't know that when we climbed in it

One night in Chatuchak and the oyster's yours!

The bars are temples and holy is the shopping spree

You'll find a something in every shopping cloister

And if the men are lucky then he's actually a she

oh wait... it doesn't matter to me!

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity

To not stay long enough looking at the city!

4 girls, warm and sweet, warm, sweet

We were set up in the Ananthara Suite!

Last night in Bangkok was malibu by the pool side

and dancing in the balcony 'til the night died.

30 Plates Please!

2011-04-09T17:30:00.001-07:00

It started as a trial, continued as a challenge and ended in pleasure. Yet another decently long overseas business trip with shopping, travelling, & work on my mind. While bidding adieu to home for a month, I was warned to not stick to Rotis & Rice which is how it usually rolls. Why struggle it out when there is a sarvana/paaji around the corner.

A very tiny part of me egged me on to the unexplored. FX & P were around to help me out the first few days in Sydney with lemon grass flavored prawns, not spicy crab meat, minced beef, mussels, clams, octopus, & veg. ravioli. This was now serious business. For the next 4 weeks I was going to turn a blind eye to the aromas of Indian spices on foreign lands.

Week 1, Sydney:

My first night in Sydney started with a regular wrap from a regular McD sorta place so I am not even going to bother writing more about it. Thursday night we geared up for some really good Thai food at 'Spice I am.' Now this place is tiny, the size of the old Gokul Chat at Abids, but is so well known that it is busy through out and we waited for almost an hour for our turn. For those who'd like a drink to go with the food. Its a BYOB place! I let P do the honours of ordering some scrumptious sea food which I knew I wouldn't have any problem hogging so technically I don't get a lot of points for experimenting but hey all that mattered was that it wasn't Indian!

The next two days as well went by with Italian, Mussels, Clams, Octopus, & Kangaroo meat. Fortunately my trip to Sydney this time was brilliant not just because of the food but also the fact that I got to go to an amazing YouTube Symphony concert in the Opera house. It was a Strings Ensemble, and I had goosebumps to the end of it!

Lap 2, New Zealand:

Sunday was pretty much grab a pizza day. I'd just landed in Auckland, then my bed and then at Dominos. Monday is when it all began! Here is something I had consistently for my breakfast a slice of banana bread and a bottle of orange juice. Trust me its never that healthy back here so it is a big deal!

One thing I have always believed in: If you can't get Indian, get something Asian! This trip weirdly enough changed that. For convenience sake I did dig into the regulars, such as Honey Chicken and Rice, Phad Thai, & Nasi Goreng. The ones out of ordinary were the Raw Bluff Oysters.

I thought he was joking when he said he was going to order some raw Oysters for me to have so I can claim to have had a taste of Kiwi food. I swore I was ok not having a chance to brag but Dilli pretty much forced me into having them. Here is how it feels .......... YUCK!

Oysters I am pretty sure are an acquired taste. It was the first time I ever dug my teeth into something that raw and smelly. One bite and I was thankful it was slimy enough for me to just swallow it down my throat. Now that I'd done it, I can indeed brag about trying something Kiwi.

By now, I did figure out how to go about picking my meals through the day. If it was ingredients I like then I experimented; If it was ingredients I didn't like or wasn't sure of, I made sure it's done the way I usually like my food to be done. For instance, Pumpkin! I am just not a veggies' person but who knew Pumpkin soups & puree could be that delicious that I forgot the meat on my plate for a while and devoured it.

Lamb shanks, Pan fried Terahikis', Akaroa Salmon fillets were a few of the things that made it easy to make it the entire month without desi khaana.

Before I could dig into more steamed fish, it was time to leave. I did come back soon enough 6 months later with a vengeance to enjoy more of the kiwi styled Oysters, White Bait Omlette & Venison pies. What made my second trip better was Danny Doolans, O'Hagans, and the zillion other things I did that most happy backpackers would do in a breathtaking country like NZ.

Mauri Ora!

Letting go!

2011-02-07T03:16:00.000-08:00

I really needed a break not the perpetual break all of us want but 'all hell will break loose' break. A couple of chat sessions about boring and stagnant life, and my bitches decided it was time to breath some cold Darjeeling air. The organizer in me took care of the train tickets but it was time to let go on planning for the rest. I trusted somebody I would never trust on a sound plan for. It was time for a trip longer than just a weekend.

A week before the trip we aren't sure if it is going to happen because yet another state decided to go two. Needless to say it was the one we were heading to. God dammit why!!! We panicked, we sulked and then we decided. Decided to go where ever the political situation signals the train to go to. News suddenly for me had become quite an important deal.

Just like Vaishno Devi calls for her devotees, Darjeeling called out to us. The week we wanted to relax in the hills was the week the bandh was relaxed for. Ruchi's snacks, weird pics, snakes & ladder, magic slate, & a live bong saas-bahu kahani just like how Ekta narrates them helped us get through the ridiculously long train journey.

At Siliguri, my pashmina was out, half way through to Darjeeling my socks were out, and foggy breath while we heartily laughed about dragging our suitcases back and forth marked our arrival finally at the place a first timer, a second timer, and a long time visitor were eagerly waiting to get to.

Hotel Belle Vue had an awesome view which was for most of our trip blocked by the heavy clouds. A narrow corridor that led us to a backyard/a narrow way into the streets. My non-snoozable mental alarm would ring in the mornings and drag me out to the backyard to take in as much as I could of the majestic green & brown in spite of the heavy fog.

After a couple of days of eating, shopping, and walking around, my only regret was to not be able to see "The" peak. Our last morning in Darjeeling, I did the usual walk to our backyard and as she opened the bright green grill door for me I was saying to myself 'peak or no peak it was an awesome trip' just to turn around as I stepped out into the sun and noticed the gigantic white mass. Our trip was done like a bun!

The last view point that our cabbie took us to was near the Batasia loop. A panaromic view of huge masses of snow. There are times when nature wants you scream out loud to say how beautiful she is but all you can do is just go dumb and sigh silently and feel like a nothing standing there staring back at her. This was our breathtaking moment.

It was time to move on to redeem my first impressions of the city of joy! My personal favorite moment in this city was when we hopped on to a local bus on the spur of the moment. As I settled down in my seat, the old bus stereo was singing "main zindagi ka saath nibhaata chala gaya" Indeed!

Horsley Hills

2010-12-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

Little known as Andhra's Ooty is a 3000 odd high hill ideal for a quick weekend
getaway. Horsley hills gets it name from the then Cuddapah collector W.D. Horsley.
The place also has its share of folklore that talks about an old lady called
mallamma who used to take care of a baby elephant which is when it was first
christened as 'yenugu mallamma' hill (yenugu stands for elephant in telugu).

Horsley hills is a quick summer getaway for those who can't spare more than a
weekend. 160 km from Bangalore, 130 km from Tirupati, 180 km from Chennai approx.
The best part about this place is that there is no private hotels, and thankfully up
until now not much of commercialisation. There are rooms, cottages, and a couple of
bungalows for stay run by A.P.Tourism. The resort/hotel also has activities planned
for both families and corporates which came as a pleasant surprise. Some of the
activities are trekking, rappelling, zorbing etc. Although these are quite small
scale, they are good for a start.

Personally, I loved the scenic landscape. We were pretty much in clouds all the
time. The mist that lingered throughout, the absence of crazy crowds you see at
tourist places, the lush dense greens is what I loved the most about this place.
Just sitting in the balcony sipping on hot tea while reading your book and enjoying
nature at one of its best - If this is not tempting then this place is probably not
for you!

near our guesthouse at 6 in the evening!

What this place could've easily done without is what goes for most tourist places in
India, people littering the place with lays packets to shattered kingfisher bottles.
It just makes your almost perfect weekend date with nature a little not so perfect.
Oh oh and how can i forget those groups of men in their drunken revelry that spoil
your plans of sitting by the wind fall area staring at hills peaking out of the
clouds where you feel like the hills are staring back at you telling you 'Your life
sucks!.' I really wish the police could stop these groups!

near the 'windfall' area

The Verdict

2010-10-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

If you looked at the title and think I am going to give my point of view just like the other million self appointed critiques then I am sorry to disappoint you but what I went through today is a kin to the never-ending saga.

My mornings are pretty much the same everyday. I get in to the cab groggy eyed either in gym clothes or something equally worse. My cab driver continues to go on a snake like path on the straight roads, and I am listening to MS's venkateshwara suprabhatam simply cause it sounds peaceful to me. Just watching everybody on the road going about their daily business, I suddenly see a teenager walking with a big orange flag with 'Om' symbols that he was lightly waving . Om by definition manifests aspects of God.

Unfortunately, for me that scene was a manifestation of 'will break out anytime riot.' For a minute my body is still, my eyes searching for more clues, and my mind searching for dates of religious importance and lo, I realize the boy was probably just all geared up to enjoy the Navratri season, maybe he was thinking about what to wear for the dandiya night... oh wait that would be a girl.... maybe he was thinking about just how much fun he was going to have because I now remember seeing an innocent smile on his face!!! I missed that??? How many of you blame me for being cynical now?

As much as I said I won't give my opinion about the verdict, I HAVE to say the verdict was/is given way too much importance when compared to the panic that is set within all of us pretty much ALL the time not just the day before, day after or the day of the verdict. When I saw the flag, it was my gut feeling, my instinct that just cared about my well being asking me to do all the checks. I swear to god I would've noticed the smile otherwise!

Butterfly Pendant

2010-08-26T00:58:00.001-07:00

Hey y'all whoever reads my blog. I came across this really cool Butterfly Pendant. I love it for the simple and elegant design that goes easily with a lot of smart stuff. More info and pic.. check it out at:

http://purple-peeptoes.blogspot.com/2010/08/giveaway-butterfly-pendant.html

Oh and btw as much as i thought i shouldnt let you guys know about it. They are giving this away for free so i hope i get it for real :)