HUMAN2HUMAN

GET BACK TO NORMAL? - WHAT THE F*CK!

2020-04-18T15:51:00.001-04:00

Come what may, whatever tomorrow may bring, we need to deal with it and move on! The world is in pieces and we can not change it or fix it with the same thinking that got us here. Greed and Selfishness will not be tolerated moving forward. The truth will be first and foremost the determining factor on every decision and petty bullshit will not be tolerated. Stupidity and ignorance - willful or otherwise will be called out and not be allowed to continue.

We are all in this together the Social Compact must be adhered to and practiced and encouraged if we are to survive and evolve beyond this moment in time.

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." ~ Hermann Hesse

There is a lot of misinformation out there. Conspiracy theories are running rampant. Fake news, disinformation, social media is inundated and saturated with memes and cartoons depicting gallows humor a person doesn't know what to believe - so we cower in our corner of confirmational bias and wallow. The truth is obvious some times and is not up for debate - but it is. Even the truth in the brilliant and disinfectant light of day is still sullied with rumor and innuendo.

"Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world of ours." ~ Hermann Hesse

Even meaning and purpose have lost their rosy glow. It is too easy to fall into cynicism and discontent. Like frustrated teenagers, we want what we want when we want it, and like a five-year-old, we are going to flex and test our autonomy. Even at the risk of hurting and infecting others, we will risk it all because we don't want to be told when and how to do something.

"I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value." ~ Hermann Hesse

When we are able to come to the place of understanding what we all have to lose - our humanity - perhaps then we will collectively be able to put our proverbial stuff down - let it go, and let it be for the benefit of all because even though we did not deal this hand it is how we play it that matters most.

BE SAFE, BE WELL
JEFF TURNBULL

HEY - YOU GOING TO SHARE THOSE VALUES?

2020-04-13T21:40:00.001-04:00

"Man is lost and is wandering in a jungle where real values have no meaning. Real values can have meaning to man only when he steps on to the spiritual path, a path where negative emotions have no use." ~ Sai Baba

We value what we understand. Understanding takes effort, interest, and intent. To understand we need to care. Caring, compassion, peace are virtues.

Virtue defines and expresses who you are. Your values determine where you want to be and who you want to be with.

That is why shared values are the connective tissue that binds a community together and encourages a state and a feeling of unity. Without shared values, we are just a group of individuals.

The virtues that you choose to practice and guide you to support you and exemplify your character. No virtue. No values. No understanding. No empathy. No love. No peace. No order. No growth.

We get to decide who we are and what we want to be. Do we just accept the status quo and what is and not try to expand and achieve all that we can be?

A closed mind is a dying mind. A closed heart is a lonely heart. Rigidity negates growth. To learn and become we need to be flexible and learn to be pliable and to listen more.

That person that you disagree on one point you may agree on most points. But, we would not know unless we ask questions, care, and share. Comprise is not surrender or giving in or giving up. It is sharing and building and conjoining to bond and connect so that we can create, co-create and advance, evolve. When we can find and share common ground we grow from the caterpillar to the butterfly.

"People are aware that they cannot continue in the same old way but are immobilized because they cannot imagine an alternative. We need a vision that recognizes that we are at one of the great turning points in human history when the survival of our planet and the restoration of our humanity require a great sea change in our ecological, economic, political, and spiritual values." ~ Grace Lee Boggs

JEFF TURNBULL

TREATING THE SYMPTOMS NOT THE CAUSE.

2020-04-12T10:45:00.000-04:00

FOR-PROFIT AND DIVIDENDS

"Those who do not hate their own selfishness and regard themselves as more important than the rest of the world are blind because the truth lies elsewhere" ~ Blaise Pascal

I was recently diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes. I went to the Dr. for a regular check-up to get a physical. Pretty routine stuff. He scheduled me to get labs done. I hadn't seen him in a couple years. So it made sense. Saved time so he had the baseline numbers PSA etc.. to work with. Turns out my blood sugar was through the roof - 15 when 5-6.5 A1C is an acceptable number.

He said we would treat it with meds first then pursue getting the number done with diet. I thought ok. It was all new to me. I did not even realize that I was looking at diabetes until I asked him what was going on.

Later after doing some research, I realized that the Dr. did not even mention exercise or what foods I should eat or other options as far as medication. I did not have it in my family. I was thin and in relatively good shape otherwise. I asked him if stress and anxiety could be contributing factors. The reason I actually went to see him besides a physical was to get my Zoloft and Xanax refilled because I finally had healthcare insurance again.

He said no that stress would not do it. I had just come off of a year and a half of the worst period in my life. My anxiety was so bad I could not work. I lost 40lbs and could not sleep - I was a mess. I did more research and found out that yes stress and anxiety can cause blood sugar levels to spike. The stress hormone Cortisol was coursing through my entire body. The constant non-stop fight or flight response was controlling my life. Mindfulness meditation, yoga, Stoicism that helped me in the past did not help.

After more research, I find that like most problems with modern western medicine that the meds I was prescribed and the approach to my newly discovered health challenge were treating the symptom not the cause. I was a massage therapist for a good many years. I am more of an eastern mindset when it comes to health and matters of the mind and spirit. My religion is the same as the tree I see out my window. I am a child of nature and the natural world at the same time being a citizen of the world.

I was not of the mind of putting more chemicals into my body than need be. I appreciate science but I also am a firm believer in trying to approach health in a holistic manner taking everything into consideration.

But Big Pharma has to please its shareholders. Too big to fail is a myth and corporations and the stockholders take precedent over the health of the body politic and the body of humans collectively. Climate change is not weather it is Global Warming. A plant-based diet is better for you.

We are losing our Humanity when the wealth of a few outweigh the health of the many or the all. We are out of balance and homeostasis is a struggle in a society where profit and so-called material wealth is the measure of how far we have come.

"I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of inner peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion and elimination of ignorance, selfishness and greed." ~ Dalai Lama

JEFF TURNBULL

DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.

2020-04-09T18:45:00.000-04:00

Just because you think, it is so, or just, does not make it so. You may be wrong.

I know it is hard to believe right. What else could you be wrong about, who knows. Since you believe it, it must be so. That is called conformational bias. We all suffer from it.

We all want to be right, but because the ego must always be right so must we. If we think we know everything how will we ever learn?

We are entitled to our own opinion, as the saying goes, but not to our facts. The facts are the facts. We must keep an open mind and not run everything through the filter of our experience alone. We must try not to interpret everything and assign it a fixed meaning.

We must approach everything from all sides, put ourselves in the place or space, and do our best to apply reason and logic whilst we trust our intuition. If we are able not to blame, shame, admonish or praise we are better able to see things as they truly are.

Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think. So think positive. Open our minds and we open a world of possibilities. If we approach the world with a fixed mindset, it limits our growth. If we can cease to cherish our opinions, question our beliefs, and release long-held convictions we will not be tethered to a self-centered or self-centric myopic way of seeing the world.

JEFF TURNBULL

EVOLVE NOW! PLEASE!

2020-04-09T13:44:00.000-04:00

SELF-DELUSION

2020-04-06T12:04:00.003-04:00

MASS CONFUSION INSIDE YOUR HEAD

“the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.”

The ego’s goal is to persuade us to believe things that are patently false, untrue, to create a distorted reality so that it can protect us. To bend and warp what we think we know and believe is its way of keeping us where it wants us – unsure, on edge, enmeshed in self-doubt.

Men will exaggerate thousands of things. Collectively we misremember most events that we experience as if the odds were always in our favor. We reconfigure and reconstruct and hyperbolically color and edit and embellish.

Everyone loves a good story. That does mean we live a good one. Nostalgia takes us back and fills us with a feeling of how - perhaps we wished we felt. In actuality, the truth is hidden in a reality that we may not want to process or accept. Hindsight is 20/20 through rose-colored spectacles but there are shades of grey that we don’t see because we may not be able to come to terms with what was, so we push it back into our shadow self and let it gather dust.

If we are not grounded in reality, reason, and logic we are susceptible to magical thinking. The thinking that two or more random occurrences are connected in a way that the outcome makes perfect sense when in actuality it is our mind’s quest to see patterns to explain our belief system and biases.

JEFF TURNBULL

EGO- I MUST SURVIVE AT ALL COST!

2020-03-30T10:30:00.000-04:00

"This is something basic to be understood - the ego must come to a peak, it must be strong, it must have attained an integrity - only then can you dissolve it. A weak ego cannot be dissolved. And this becomes a problem." ~ Rajneesh

The ego helped us stay alive as we wandered around the Savannah before we realized we didn’t have to be eaten by lions, tigers, and bears. We could make weapons and protect ourselves. Then tools to plant and harvest. It was necessary so that we could survive. It was crucial for our evolution. If not we would not be here today.

It is not who we are. It is there to help. But like any aspect of the whole, it must be healthy. A healthy ego looks out for us, is full of prospects and it wants to lead the way, to help, but like any determining factor real or imagined, it gets in our way. A healthy ego a well-trained ego well-mastered ego will be our lookout and know its place. But yet it will stop, block and deter when it doubts us. It stands in the way blocks our way. It will tell us to go ahead you got this then turn around and pull the rug out from under us. You can be determined as hell. Done your homework. Do a risk assessment apply reason and logic and the scientific method and still, the ego will look for a reason, away, to try and gum up the works.

I know I have been there. I had low esteem and struggled with depression. Maybe my ego wasn’t healthy because I wasn’t. But I tried. Still, I would get up a head of steam and feel strong and confident and then that little voice back in the corner of mind would whisper - yeah sounds good but you will fuck it up! But, by all means, go ahead…

The closer I got to my objective my target the louder the voice would become. Some call it self-sabotage. Some don’t know what they are talking about. Who would spend time spend resources to pursue a lifetime dream or passion only to let some phantom in the shadows shit talk them out of existence? Who? Confidence, consciousness, mindfulness, awareness, these are all things or aspects that a healthy has integrated into being. They were either raised right given what was needed and challenged where it was needed. They were cultivated, appreciated, loved, understood and loved.

The unhealthy self - with an unhealthy ego says - sure go for it, you will probably fuck it up anyhow, if you do you can always blame someone else, take someone else’s or walk away and don’t give a shit, who really cares anyway..

The ego has been called the enemy. I think it is more of a frenemy. The healthier you are the more friendly it becomes and less of an adversary. No need to be aways at odds. It kept us alive this long. Like an ignorant relative they just need to be filled in and borough up to speed. I am in charge and if I want your advice I will ask, otherwise how are you? I am fine.

I must survive at all costs. But not at the cost of my principles or virtue. You see being healthy is just not about the status of your physical body but also your mind. I would add your character. What do you stand for? Would it drive you? What makes you tick? Why do you get up each morning? What can you not not do?

Who are you behind your persona your mask? Are you who you present to the world at large? No? What if your ego helped you put on a good face and you through a difficult day and steered you right and kept you going when you had nothing left to give but you had to get there, and then you did? What then?

The use of the term animal spirit on wall street to describe was is going on is going up a Bull market or down a Bear market. What if a person’s animal spirit is their ego? We had to stay alive - we were wild animals once. What kept us going? There are two errors we could make wandering around the plains and deserts - one think the noise in the bush is just the wind and we are wrong and get eaten, two we think the noise in the bushes is a lion and we run for our lives and it was just the wind. Which error is worse - we get eaten or we manage a degree of anxiety and stay alive?

The ego wants us to believe that everything is a lion in the bushes to keep us alive. The problem is that the ego has become obsolete. If so will our intuition Suffice? What if they are inexplicably linked and we get rid of the ego? What then? Are they one and the same. Maybe the ego is intuitions evil twin?

If you are ever done any entertaining or public speaking that takes a degree of ego. To get up in front of five thousand people and tell a story or play and sing a song, you better be channeling your animal spirit. Be a Bull charge right out there and do your thing embrace life and all that it has to offer and run head down horns up for all you got. If not why not?

If my ego wants to write and publish this treatise, I guess I will let it. If not it will tell me - go ahead, no one is going to read it anyway.. To which I say - I will for I must, I can not write and share it, it may help someone else survive and stay alive.

That voice in our head is just that a voice. Like anything or anyone that wants to offer to advise - solicited or not - listen if you want, take want you to want and use it, or tune it out. You know what your mother used to say about someone who tried to get your goat. Just ignore them and they will go away!

JEFF TURNBULL

H2H - INDIVIDUALISM VS. COLLECTIVISM.

2020-03-23T14:11:00.001-04:00

I WISH YOU HEALTH.

2020-03-22T12:10:00.001-04:00

THE POWER OF COMPASSION.

2020-03-22T09:09:00.000-04:00

IT IS A QUESTION OF CARING.

The two questions that can move the human race forward – “How are you?” and “How may I help?” They are signs that you care. Beyond a sign of being polite or socially astute. They are signals to people that you are there and that you are present and mindful of a situation or a state.

You may be a late guest to a party that arrives as a host is cleaning up, or a supervisor at work that sees that you are struggling or anxious and puts work demands and deadlines aside to engage in what is important. The support of those in your community. This is what is needed to help all of us, especially those of us that struggle daily with the unseen or non-material affliction.

Loving-kindness, compassion, empathy are all expressions that we are interconnected. If you cannot connect ask yourself why? If you are not able to hold a door, lend a hand, yield, or show support what are you doing? We are all in this together. We thrive when we can join together and show solidarity.

When we can be a witness of the beauty of being and showing our human nature we are reminded that we have the cognitive ability to acknowledge we are the same. We all want to be accepted. We all want to be understood. We all want to be cherished and loved and appreciated. We are all made of the same stuff. Make it matter the show you care about. Stand up, sit down, be silent, speak up, do what you have to when it is needed.

JEFF TURNBULL

BE KIND - HUMAN KIND.

2020-03-21T12:38:00.002-04:00

THE BIG BAD, BAD.

2020-03-19T18:19:00.002-04:00

They say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Well, what if the tough has a compromised immune system and they’re in their sixties? They might not be that tough? And, what about those with compromised behavioral systems? The ones who cannot take direction and will do what they want and may hurt someone/

I liked to think that I am disciplined enough to listen to the scientists and take careful, thoughtful measures without panicking. But there are those who’ve already at their wits end and a pandemic is just the challenge they cannot handle because they are not sure what is and what is not under their control.

A thin person may not worry about starving, but the obese person may worry where their next meal is coming from. Or the other way around – it is all about their locus of control. I know I am resourceful. I am sure that things will be ok until they are not. I can plan for the worst-case scenario yet hope for the best.

We should be able to gauge where we are and where we want to be and take measures to get there. If we cannot then we can constantly reevaluate the situation and amend our thoughts, feeling, and actions. We must love our fate. Be organized. That way we can see progress and build on that. Be aware of our situation whilst we are truthful with ourselves about choices. Don’t take unnecessary chances without assessing the risks. Remember no risk no reward, right? We must always weigh our choices and try not to act impulsively.

If we apply reason and logic while we keep our emotions in check, we will be ok. A small gain is still gaining. Choose what direction you want to go in and start moving and change course when needed. You do not have to know exactly where you are going, but we need to be sure about the way.

The big bad bad is out there. There will always be something out there that threatens what we hold dear. The key, I believe is not to hold too tightly. Nothing lasts forever.

Nothing. Time may be unlimited, but resources are limited. Do what you can with what you have. Value what you have while you have it. We may lose our life in an instant – that bus with your name on it shows up unexpectedly. Or a global pandemic may sweep across the globe claiming countless lives. Whatever it may be.

Be brave and if the big bad bad comes for you with your death rattle – roar, be it the wolf at the door – let the fear of death be no more and make ready for the other shore and be grateful for the time you had.

The fear of death is worse than death itself. After we are gone there is no suffering and no pain. Before we were born there was space and time and after we depart there will be space and time, we just will not be here to enjoy it so enjoy each day as if it is your last. If you are not happy now, why not? Get on that tick-tock. Time waits for no one. You are someone. Make a difference and leave a legacy that you can live with even after you are gone.

JEFF TURNBULL

GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS.

2020-03-18T18:45:00.000-04:00

Some of us have never had to struggle or have known hunger or want. Some of us have never had to wait online or have applied patience as a virtue. Or some have never known to ration or have done without.

As a child, I never went hungry. I never went without. I had everything that a child could want. There were always presents under the Christmas tree and on my birthday. But life is about more than material objects. It is about the power of connection and creativity. That is where I did not receive what I needed.

Like many people my age, my father worked shift work at the plant and I rarely saw him. When I did, I feared him. My mother was there but not. She was challenged with taking care of my youngest brother who is special needs to due a fever she had while he was in utero. I think to this day she blames herself for something that was beyond her control. I was there the day she received the letter from the state with the test results that labeled him “retarded”. An ancient term that until this day still brings a lot of baggage and misinterpretation.

I knew I was loved. I would lose myself in my room, in my head, In make-believe, and my imagination. I had to or I would find myself alone in the gulf between want I needed and what I received.

I knew I was a little different. I knew something was not right. There was certain darkness that I felt deep within that I could not explain or voice. When I asked my father if I could talk to someone – he told me that I had himself and my mother to talk to. The problem was that they did not comprehend or understand the range and depth of my despair. I felt alone and isolated within my room, home and within myself.

In my mid-thirties as is so often the case, I was finally diagnosed as being Bipolar I / depressive. Made a world of sense when I finally understood what was going on within my mind, heart, soul, and spirit. The flights of fancy and plunges into the deep darkness that is depression.

Before I was diagnosed, I would volunteer at the Psyche ward at a University Hospital. I would go there and play guitar and sing to the patients and bring a little light and laughter into their lives. I felt a little uncomfortable when I entered the ward and they locked the doors behind me. One day I was able to visit the low functioning ward where the patients were all but catatonic as they listened to me. When I began to play some older music – specifically – “Sitting on the dock of the bay” by Otis Redding, to my surprise, they came alive. Some stood up and swayed to the music others joined along and clapped and all were for a brief moment completely present there with me in unity and feeling.

Moments later a nurse came in to tell me that my time was up, and it was time for the patients to receive their medicine. Medicine? Music for that moment was their medicine. My connection there was the Art therapist. She had me come several times before I would need to be treated.

I was living with a friend when it became blatantly obvious that I was a danger to myself and in hell. One that I alone could not find my way out of. My choices were to commit myself to a nearby hospital or do a walk-in day program at another hospital, but there was a waiting list. I had to move out where I was staying so my choices were limited. I feared being locked away behind steel doors with no real idea of what I was up against. I did not know what to do. So, I called my parents who recently moved away to see if I could come to stay with them. I made the call and explained everything to them. They told me to come there. They said – “just get here”. I pulled into their driveway with a car that was not legal on fumes exhausted myself and slept for two months before getting help and beginning my path to wellness.

I learned from that day at the hospital with those beautiful souls that if you extend yourself beyond your reckoning and give yourself over to others and the moment that healing is possible, probable and irreversible if you just give and give some more to it hurts then give some more. Then and only then will you know the true strength of character within you and know what you and they are capable of.

JEFF TURNBULL

FOR THE GLORY OF HUMANITY

2020-03-17T20:04:00.000-04:00

A blood donor didn’t save my life. Nobody died for my sins. I do what I do, for the glory of Humanity, Humankind, The Human race.

A friend told me that he works hard and does everything to the best of his ability – For the Glory of God. As I stood there thinking to myself –

Should I tell him that there is no god and that his intentions are misguided?

I could not. After my deconversion, all the reading I have done lately, and my new way of thinking – reasoning, logic, and rationality and critical thinking tells me that there is no god and that Humanism is the only Glory there is.

We are good without god. We cannot be good with god. Looking at the world with rose-colored glasses is a delusion. For the rose color, the blood of your lamb, not mine, colors your thinking, your reason, and your worldview. Probably, because you are hoping, and praying that these are the end of times, and that you are special and beloved of your King, Father, Sky god, and that you will live forever in some mythical place in the sky.

It’s not going to happen. Make your heaven here for this is all there is. Get over yourself. For the glory of humankind awaits you. You are your brother’s keeper. Begin today and give everything to him, her, and it…. Nature, the environment. Embrace science and the natural world. Live for today, not some ancient literature, not some future utopia.

Eat the apple, read from the book of knowledge of good and evil, and use reason and logic to discern the difference between the two. For in the recesses of the heart of humanity all will be revealed. Love is all there is, Love is all there is.

JEFF TURNBULL

BORN TO DIE!

2020-03-16T12:28:00.003-04:00

Our doomsday clock starts ticking the first time we draw breath. It is a fact of nature. We have a finite number of days, months, years, and minutes, moments and experiences.

The question we should ask ourselves, is, how do we want to spend it? Do we want to live a full and robust life filled with new and exciting knowledge, experiences and memories? Or, do we hunker down to accept what is given and embrace the status quo? Or do we seek out new and rewarding frontiers?

Do we love, share, care to make a difference in this world? Do we see opportunities for growth and strive to do better? Do we live a life of virtue and strength of character or do we fear what we do not understand and believe unconditionally what we are told to believe?

Do we have faith in humanities latent nature of a higher expression of love, compassion, and unity or do we look for reasons to not trust what we know to be the truth because it is easier to be a member of the mob than a lover of wisdom?

Want do you want from this life? Do you know? Do you want to be happy with all that life has to give? Do you want all the creature comforts, gadgets, and stuff? More – bigger- better stuff? Or do you want to live, love and matter?

Have you made peace with death? Do you use it as an ally? Does it inspire to live every day with passion and zeal? If not, why not? Why do we have to hit rock bottom before we see the value of our lives’?

Money can’t buy happiness, ask a wealthy person. They will tell you more money more stress. The stress of losing it all. Freedom is free. You don’t pay the price. Give anything away or sell your soul. We just have to open our eyes, hearts, and minds.

Keep love, give love, share the love and be love. Love plus order equals progress. Be liberal with your love. Share your progress. Be a verb – do, be, grow and evolve – sprout, flower and flourish be all that you can be - live until you die.

We were born to live while we are alive. Until that time be the bee and be the hive.

JEFF TURNBULL

DEATH RATTLE ROAR

2020-03-16T09:05:00.000-04:00

DEATH RATTLE ROAR

THE WOLF AT THE DOOR

THE FEAR OF DEATH

A FACTOR NO MORE.

I LIVED I'VE DIED

A THOUSAND TIMES

WITH EACH BREATH

I KNOW THE SIGNS.

I KNOW ITS FACE

BEEN IN THAT SPACE

INTO THE VOID

WITHOUT A TRACE

NOW JUST A CLOUD

LIVING OUT LOUD

A MIST A VAPOR

A DEATH RATTLE ROAR.

Jeff Turnbull

THE BATTLE BETWEEN HEART & MIND

2020-03-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

In these tumultuous times with so much division and vitriol, it is paramount that we be mindful of what is in our minds and where our thoughts go when we are moved emotionally. Because when we think with our hearts, we are not likely to apply reason and logic and may not acknowledge the truth but embrace the truth of how we want it to be from our own bias colored perspective.

What this comes down to is that we are quick to judge without having context or facts. We are operating from a preconceived strongly held belief that we are likely to take as gospel.

We judge the first impression and everything that follows. We are stuck in a rigid non-pliable way of seeing because we have experienced something in the past which leaves us afraid of the unknown of the future, so we become static and immovable in the present. If we could only begin with what the Buddhists refer to beginner’smind or in Zen, I don’t know mind.

If we can be open to come what may we would all be better off. Some of us get excited about new opportunities for growth and change and others grip with white-knuckled desperation of the tried and true of the status quo.

Why change when the same old same old has always worked. When I hear – We have always done it this way, I know that I have a person with a closed mindset and that I have some work to do. This does not mean that we should abandon hope but double our efforts in a more empathetic caring and insightful manner.

The mind is a beautiful thing so too is the heart. One is our operating system the other our GPS of this soft machine that we occupy whilst we walk on this plane as try to navigate the difficulties of every day. As we grow and evolve our trajectory uncertain as we learn and not learn from our past experiences.

So, we must empty ourselves and begin a new with each encounter and listen more than talk take notes and ask questions and not accept things at face value. Before we can value anything we must first understand it, if we do not we will fear it then we are catapulted right back into that space in the past where we gauge everything on the emotional reaction that only leads to spiraling downwards instead of ascended to our greatest state of being. We must move forward without trepidation or apprehension and embrace the undiscovered beauty that is there but yet to be a witnessed as we the pilgrims of eternity learn to master our selves our emotions and our thought to create heaven right here on earth.

JEFF TURNBULL

TRIBALISM WILL SURELY KILL US ALL

2020-03-03T09:36:00.000-05:00

Like a pack of hungry wolves, we seek to eat and destroy our prey. That hunger that thirst that cannot be satisfied can eat us alive. When some of us have all that we need we want more. More than we can ever use. More and more and more that is our mantra. When disasters happen, we are instructed to consume more for the cause. But that is only instinct. However, it does not serve the good, our good or the collective good or the greater good.

Our economic system is based on consumption. More hunter than a gatherer. We rely on a cheap source of energy that destroys the environment when new economies can build on newer more sustainable and environmentally friendly renewable forms of energy i.e. solar, winds, waves. We can leverage what is already there. That is Humane – for us and our home.

Animals take care of their homes, dens, hives, nests, we destroy and spoil what was given us with our never-ending appetites. Preservation and now restoration must be our focus lest we kill ourselves and our home.

We divide ourselves into the haves and have nots. We have a cast system of the rich and not rich this is our culture. This only broadens the already great divide and the gulf between us. When what is needed is inclusion not division to make us whole, perfect and complete.

We are not there yet. But we can be. We need to change our minds and our hearts to countermand our actions. Action is what is needed. Not rhetoric but action, passion and compassion and forgiveness. To forgive is divine, right?

Why is it that people vote contrary to their interests? Why do they surrender freedom for security? If someone says one thing yet does another and you still believe blindly you have yourself to blame.

We must cease to cherish our opinions. Question our beliefs. Release our convictions. Then we will be able to see in a holographic 360-degree spectrum what is best for the good.

If you shade the truth in any way, you are blocking the light.

JEFF TURNBULL

DIVINE ANIMALS

2020-03-02T18:58:00.000-05:00

HUMAN - ALL TOO - HUMAN

We think - therefore we are not at all that Human. At least we don't act like it. Sometimes we do. Random acts of kindness, unconditional love, selfless compassion, sometimes we rise to our potential then our soul falls exhausted from the climb and the flight.

Giving liberally is viewed and considered a weakness by some and a justification by others. We must empty our souls and enliven our spirits with the thought and intention of doing and being the highest good for all not for some.

Ask yourself - is what I am about to do or say or think of the highest good serving the greater good? We can be good without a deity looking over our shoulders. Why? Because it is the right thing to do. Smile at someone and they will smile back.

It is a matter of our nature and consciousness. If we are conscious we can observe our nature. We can practice doing the right thing at the moment in the here and now.

We know when we are doing the wrong thing. It is alright to do the right thing and not tell anyone. Do it when no one else is looking. It is called integrity.

Virtue is its own reward. It feels good and empowers us to think right and be right with what is, no matter the circumstances or the outcome.

There are universal truths that you can not argue with. We all want to be loved. We all want to be accepted. We all want to be treated well. We all want to be seen and heard.

We can strive to be divine or default to our animal nature. We were born perfect but we are trained to forget. We are preyed upon to be more animal than human to compete and acquire to feed that hunger that cannot be satisfied. Our animal nature relies upon our ego to protect us and keep watch over what we think belongs to us. Somewhere in between is our human nature where we work, strive, learn, struggle and suffer until we can merge the three into a functional productive being that acknowledges and participates in the collective shared value system that assists us in our evolution.

Stronger together in unity the trinity or triad of consciousness makes for a complete and healthy citizen of the world existing in peace, love, and harmony. Universe means one song after all. One that we all can be a part of and be the whole of as above so below.

JEFF TURNBULL

ADAPT, EVOLVE OR DIE!

2020-03-02T09:07:00.000-05:00

A TREATISE ON THE ART AND SCIENCE OF PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION.

Bipolar I Depressive. In my early thirties that was my current situation. Finally, a name for my pain. “It’s like diabetes.” They said. “You can treat it with medication and talk therapy.” They said. “It is manageable.” They said. “You will have it for Life.” They said. They also said that I had a 1 in 5 chance of ending my own life. That is a 20% likelihood that on any given day, I will pull my own plug. That shed a lot of light, on an infinite amount of darkness.

I am here, to tell you that if you are mentally ill, struggle with depression, anxiety, or addiction – if you do not – Adapt, Evolve, you will die before your time and before you know what hit you. Furthermore, if you deem yourself a stable genius the same applies. Depression will pull you down. Anxiety pushes you down. Addiction will burn you alive. Bipolar I Depressive will pull you apart, burn you alive, push you down, pull you down drown you, smother you, whilst you sleep, that is if are able to sleep, eat, or overeat, do drugs, spend money you do not have, hypersexuality that leads you to make mistakes that you cannot undo, flights of fancy, moods swings, and temper tantrums, and so much more. Pain is pain. It is not a competition. I have been there, lived that.

After being diagnosed and somewhat stabilized. I returned to my home town to visit some friends and share my new found sobriety and good mental health. I was surprised by the responses. A few were surprised and wished me well, and we're happy about my discovery and commended me on taking the initiative to heal myself. Others made comments that quite frankly took me off guard – “There’s a surprise.” Or “I could have told you that.” Here I was struggling with this demon, fighting for my life and these people who I believed to be my friends were being so obtuse with affliction.

One went to go so far as to challenge me on the subjectivity of my feelings and emotional state. “What you think you feel more than me?” Again, this is not a competition. I did not how to handle that question. I just let it go.

So, along the way, I found a way to survive. Adapt and Evolve or perish, or Die. Adapting to every situation is obviously a challenge. So, we can keep it to environments – Interior, thoughts and feelings, those things within our domain of control, and adaption to the exterior environment or what I call – The World at Large.

Furthermore, we must evolve beyond our current situation and kill and cause to die and lay to rest all of the habits, behaviors, desires, and inclinations that do not serve the greater good of our survival and the quest to achieve and become the you, me, that we long to be.

I was assured in therapy that my parents did the best they could with what they had to work with.

What a bunch of bunk. That is a belief not based in fact. Somewhat like faith. It is what we tell ourselves to help us get through the night. We can always do better, but that is a choice.

I can personally tell you that when I struggled with the bleak beast of depression and suicidal tendencies what made everything worse, made everything that much worse, and compounded my feeling of self-loathing, was deep down I knew I could have done better, tried harder. This only made me sicker.

If helping others can produce neurochemicals to help generate good health and well-being, imagine what helping ourselves could produce. Helping ourselves so that we can do what we need to do to help others. We could in the process help heal ourselves so that we can help heal the world. But, unfortunately, we have blinders on and are in survival mode.

What if I asked for help from some of those friends who did not know I was struggling, or moreover, those friends who were not surprised about my illness reached out a hand? Instead of throwing a drowning man an anchor ex posts facto.

Either way, I have risen from the ashes from multiple close calls, and near misses. I had to stay alive so that I could find myself, heal myself, and do what I can to help others.

There are three phases of change or states if you will. You can move from one to the other if you stay in one too long – it becomes a state. 1. Healthy Change. 2. Non-Change. 3. Unhealthy Change.

Unhealthy Change is changing for change's sake. Because you are bored, or lazy, lethargic, what have you? It is like sitting on the couch with the remote, binge-watching Netflix, or leveling up on your favorite video game. You are doing something, but not really. I like to change my wallpaper on my devices. I will look up and notice a half-hour went by. Idleness in flux. It is taking the path of least resistance, going through the motions, phoning it in, or faking it until you make it. Wake Up! Do something real, even if it’s wrong. Burst your own bubble. Move beyond the membrane of your comfort zone. Take the red pill. Unplug. Take the scenic route and look up and breathe the fresh air of what might be.

Now, looking through the clinical lens of Bipolar I depression, unhealthy change is cycling. It may be weekly, monthly, yearly, and the most torturous – daily. It all depends on the individual. Imagine waking up in the morning feeling alive ready to slay the dragon and rescue the fair maiden you greet the day with vital élan – the vital force of life. You have unbound energy, creativity drive, passion, and vigor. But, by the end of the day you are feeling defeated, discouraged, and suicidal. Can you imagine? That was my life for two decades. I was haunted by the dark specter of suicide. But, yet, I carried on. Like that wayward son, and that Cinderella man.

Until… One day I was able to push through all the struggles. For the first time I actually did what I had to, did all the work I needed to, to almost make my dream of becoming a professional working musician come true. However, my two much younger band-mates had other designs. They took the summer off to go down the shore with their girlfriends. I could not blame them. They were young, I might have down the same thing if I were them. But, but, I had worked so hard. I saved money, toiled and labored and now – I was ready. Alas, it was not to be.

Where they were young and had their whole life ahead of them, I was just trying to make it through the day and wake above ground.

And, I thought that would be my legacy. Not a canon of meaningful words and music but another poor wretch that hung himself in the attic of a friend’s house.

I was asked to leave my friend’s house who I rented a room from lest I do just that. My choices were to either commit myself to a nearby hospital, become a homeless wait for another hospital’s day program waiting list to shorten, or call my parents who had moved away from the area and hope that like the prodigal son, I could return.

That day I called my parents. The next day I picked up the truck and moved away from there and headed towards the great wide open.

JEFF TURNBULL

DIRECT KNOWLEDGE & EXPERIENCE : GNOSIS

2020-02-26T11:34:00.000-05:00

IF WE CLOSE OUR MINDS AND HEARTS WE ARE LOST TO GROWTH & HEALING!

We are in danger of losing our future - for we have lost our way. We can not admit when we are wrong or that we have made a mistake. We cling to strongly held beliefs and convictions when what is needed is openness and inclusion.

Why is it that we are so preoccupied with what is ours, mine, not yours instead of how can I help. I drop off close I don't need anymore at the local store that takes charitable donations and then they ask me if I want a receipt? Why? So I can claim it on my taxes? I tell the lady every time - that it kind of defeats the purpose. I give to help not to receive. I could sell it online or have a yard sale to make a few bucks, but when I was down and out and could not afford a new pair of shoes I went to a store like this and could buy a used pair never thinking that the person who donated them could itemize it on their tax return.

Love returns Love. Kindness returns Kindness. It is the circle of life. You do not share it or experience it to benefit materially. You do it because you can and it is the right thing to do.

Wisdom is knowledge and experience in action and in practice. You can have a degree from the best ivy league university or college be a Rhoades Scholar but unless you apply what you learned it means nothing. Like trying to learn a new language. Unless you try to speak it to others it is just a concept, an idea.

What the world needs now is love, sweet loveIt's the only thing that there's just too little ofWhat the world needs now is love, sweet love,No, not just for some but for everyone.

We need to realize and accept when something is not right. Use our knowledge and experience to understand when there are a danger and threat to the peace and harmony of our collective well being otherwise we will truly find ourselves in a new reality that we may not recover from.

I am not a proponent of the Status Quo. Far from it. I believe in Novelty. New technology new ways of communicating and sharing information, knowledge, and experience. But when things get twisted and bend and truth become unrecognizable and lies and untruths become the norm we are heading down the same old path of violence and destruction.

When we are on the cusp or ellipse of our shared potentiality and allow hatred and exclusion to interfere we lose our way. The way is love, acceptance, and understanding. I am not a Christian but these are the tenets, Jesus beautifully expressed on his sermon on the mount. Buddha and many other world teachers, philosophers and sages have spoken the same truth. The Universal truths cannot be denied. However, they must be put into practice and be our guide.

We all know right from wrong and we must always put the common good before our interests and concerns. Because - What is good for the Hive is good for the Bee.

JEFF TURNBULL

THE QUEST TO FIND AN HONEST MAN.

2020-02-21T16:32:00.000-05:00

YOU ARE OUT THERE, SHOW YOURSELF!

I know we are in trying times. The country is in tumult. Brother against brother, sister against sister, and friend against friend. What are we to do?

HOW ABOUT WE TRY AND SEE THINGS FROM ANOTHER'S PERSPECTIVE?

We are all in the same boat. We can turn a blind eye to the proverbial iceberg ahead or we can steer away and clear of the impending catastrophe ahead. We know its there, we do, but we do not know what it is or what it looks like.

Remember that phrase - Those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it. Well, folks, we are on the precipice of that familiar cliff. We can walk it back or take that flying leap into the abyss of war, chaos, and famine.

It is our nature. Our human nature? Or, our animal nature? We could be evolving into our divine nature. But, that takes work, sacrifice, and awareness.

I am an optimist. We have so much to do and become. Science and technology are making new strides every day. New ways of solving old problems exist. For instance, three young women developed a straw that can detect a date rape drug. Amazing right? Simple but not easy, I assure you.

Everyday new thinking is moving us forward. But here is the thing, we must be honest, truthful, and open. Otherwise, we are going down that same old black hole of hopelessness and despair. When there is such much to be grateful for we miss what is right there.

Hope. We must have hope. I will be honest. In 1995 I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder. They told me it was treatable like diabetes. You will have it all your life. It is treatable with medication and talk-therapy. I struggled a lot since then staying on meds and having someone to talk too. A year and a half ago, I had an episode. I could not work and I went into debt and considered ending it all. I eventually climbed out of the pit. I found a great job after many starts and stops. I got health insurance. I now have medication to help me with anxiety and depression. I make enough to pay my bills and for the first time in a long time - I am truly happy. I now can go to the doctor and I do and you know what?

I have type 2 diabetes. But you know what? It is the best thing that could have happened to me. I am duty-bound to stay at my new awesome job, keep my benefits, go to the Dr., exercise and eat healthily. I will start where I am and be truthful and trust my heart and my mind to lead me where I am meant to be.

That is the Truth. Nothing but the Truth. So help me - I AM.

JEFF TURNBULL

THE ART OF BEING.

2020-02-10T15:15:00.001-05:00

JUST BE - THAT'S ALL THERE IS PERIOD!

That's all there is to it. Easy but not simple! But how, you ask? How do I just be?

Can you be present? Can you quiet your mind? Can you breathe in and then out? Can you be aware of your thoughts? Can you be mindful of your feelings? Can you stop before you act impulsively?

You can. I know you can. If I can then you can too. A year and a half ago, I had a Bipolar episode. My anxiety was off the charts -I then went into a depression and it spiraled down and I hit bottom, AGAIN.

I climbed out of the hole eventually. I was fortunate that I have people who care about me. I was trying to be something I was not and when I did not succeed, I got down on myself and it all went to shit. I came off my medication. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I lost thirty pounds. That attack sent my blood sugar soaring. Now, I have that challenge to combat. No worries though. It was the best thing that could happened to me. I got up. I stood up. And, I marched on. ONWARD, INWARD, UPWARD. Each time I fall I rise higher. Why? Because I learn, grow and evolve.

But, enough about me. We all struggle. We all have adversities. Sometimes adversaries. But how we handle it determines the outcome. Know - that all we have control over is our thinking about the situation. We need to not only find the silver lining in the dark storm clouds that present themselves, but we must remember that above the storm, above those dark clouds, the sun is still shining.

That tired old chestnut - "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." That is - if we learn from it, flip the script and leverage it and looked at it as an opportunity. It is all how you frame it.

If we can keep our sense of human and composure when things go south and look for our north star, our first principle, that of reason, logic and virtue, we have a better chance of making it thorough anything that fate may throw at us.

JEFF TURNBULL

THE WORLD SHADOW LOOMS LARGE

2020-02-09T17:24:00.000-05:00

HE ISN'T THE PROBLEM HE IS A SYMPTOM

Right now in the US there is a lot of ugliness and divisiveness. Friendships and families are being torn apart. For what? Because your guy won and you may not be able to admit the fact that he is an healthy and toxic person who is working at the age old tactic of divide and conquer?

What will be the cost in the end you ask? The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The environment is being destroyed with the roll back of regulations and the pillaging of our natural resources.

I guess it is all well and good, just as long as you get your measly little increase in your paycheck every week; although it is only temporary.

The weird and unusual destruction of accepted norms. But, hell yeah, lets go back to the 50's where human rights were not the standard but an exception allotted the white man because we all know he is the king of his castle.

So, we all have our shadow selves where our toxic nature resides with its shame and anger and selfishness and regrets live and grow if not addressed and brought into the light of awareness and consciousness. We want what we want and screw the other guy.

The values of loving your enemy and treating your neighbor the way you want them to treat you IS VANISHING. Its all for one and I'm for myself is the mindset of a lot people who judge people by their socio-economic status and skin color, sex, and a multitude of other boxes on a checklist of people you don't want living in your neighborhood.

Charles Dickens wrote in his Novel A Tale of Two Cities - "It is was the best of times, it was the worst of times.". It really applies in this new age of the Technology and Social Media. The vitriol travels in real time to inflict insults and hatred. A meme a quote, a post can go viral and spread like a disease. The good stuff is way less frequent and does not stay long in the consciousness of the many, but the mean stuff in the 24hr news cycle frames our day, our thoughts and our feeling.

People are more apt to think with their hearts not their minds with issues that heat them up and create anxiety then depression. I have heard some really sad stories of late of people I care about struggle and fall and want to end it. They feel powerless and see the storm to come on the horizon and do not know what to do.

While we try to deal with our individual shadow selves the people who are supposed to be leaders are amplifying their worst selves non stop everyday via Twitter and on the news and at rallies stoking hatred and division. But, 40% of the citizenry support them and want what they want and cannot see faults and accept lies as the truth making us all sick and weakened in the end.

So, if you have read this far, please do a thorough self examination of your values and ask yourself perhaps if we all happen to share them. Because I am hear to tell you - WE DO!

JEFF TURNBULL

ACCEPTANCE : THE BEAUTY OF WHAT IS.

2019-12-15T16:06:00.000-05:00

The Stoic principle that tells us – Recognize what is under your control and what isn't under your control. Don't worry about what isn't under your control – it is acceptance. It is not giving in or rolling over, but accepting what is. To not accept what is, is pure ignorance.

Not accepting what is, is being closed off. Accepting the circumstances and working within the reality that we find ourselves in creates opportunities and novelty where we can challenge ourselves and do so learn new things so that we may grow and expand in consciousness and in being.

If I never accepted anything, I would always be recapitulating what I already knew and understood. By accepting the unknown, or what is, a tension is created, a spark of inspiration awaits me where I am still in uncertainty and still in the possibilities.

I accept myself for who I am. I accept you for who you are. I accept that there is a pain in my past, present, and future, but I not accept suffering, because they're in the moment there is a choice. I accept pain, death, uncertainty, and imperfection. But, where there is a choice to do, act, behave better, I choose to accept that I can do, act, and behave better.

To love myself, I have to accept myself for who I am. But, I can accept or choose to try, think, and rise above what I can accept. To not accept myself or you for who I and you are, is to turn away from the truth, for the truth can be denied, but that does not mean that the truth is not the truth.

To accept hatred, violence, indignation is to accept a lie. Evil is a distortion of the truth and when we accept evil into our hearts it changes our minds, our character and this distorts how we act, think, speak and behave. Then we turn away from the truth. The truth is the truth. An opinion, a belief, conviction, these are not the truth. The truth does not sit on a scale or have many shades or variants.

The truth is a reality that has no opposite, the only reality there is. There are no little white truths. The truth is a constant it is either the truth or it is not. A lie is not the opposite of the truth. It is like the universe, it is ever expanding and if you cannot realize the truth you may think that is contracting, but it is you trying to objectify or embrace what is and only what is... the truth.

If we are able to open our hearts and minds then we would be free to accept almost anything. But, we hold so damn tight to what we think is right, with all of our might we cannot even begin to accept a viable alternative, let alone a radical new approach. Mired in our mediocrity, we slog along with our binders on.

Will the truth set you free? We don’t know if we do not strive earnestly towards such a wonderful goal. The road to truth has many barriers. The most challenging to remove is our self. Often times we stand in our own way, blocking the possibility of change and growth.

Accept acceptance and set aside conventional thinking, stick your head in the box out of the box, it does not matter empirically what matters is that we don’t cut ourselves off to what might be – reevaluation, revision, resolution, and more than anything receptivity – the lost art of trying something on for size, running it up a flag pole and taking it for a test drive. How do we know until we try?

So many of us are stuck in our ways and rage against the dying of the light; but how do we know what awaits us in the far reaches of the darkness unless we have the courage to take that first step and try.

JEFF TURNBULL