Life Coach Tips

Life Coach Tips Newsletter Update

2020-01-04T12:03:00.001+00:00

It has been 14 or 15 years since I started providing my weekly "Life Coach Tips" email newsletter and nearly 8 years since I linked it to my Life Coach Tips blog posts. It has been enjoyable and I am pleased to say, judging from feedback I have received, helpful for some.

Time for a rest now! So as of today I am stopping sending out the email newsletter on a regular weekly basis. I may cease the blog/newsletter altogether or I may continue to post items of interest here on my life coach tips blog or on my Facebook Life Coaching Page on an ad hoc basis. As yet, I haven't quite yet decided...

New Year is of course for many a time for reflection and change, so I would like to take the opportunity to thank all who have followed the blog and newsletter for their interest and to wish you luck in making positive changes in the months that follow and in continuing any aspects of your life which you feel are worthwhile and valuable.

If you think self help materials may help you then there is information about my self-help ebook programmes on my website at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks.

Good Luck and Happy New Year!

David

The Psychology of Giving Gifts

2019-12-18T10:08:00.002+00:00

It seems that giving gifts doesn't just make us feel good but also makes us more successful in evolutionary terms. To find out more click on the link below:

The Psychology of Giving Gifts

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

What has Technology done for you?

2019-12-11T09:34:00.001+00:00

The last 25 years has seen enormous developments in technology - internet, emails, mobile phones then smartphones, online services and products etc.

Many of these things we now take for granted, but some of them may have had an enormous impact on your life.

Stop for a moment and consider your responses to the following questions:

1. What feature of technological development in recent times has had the most beneficial impact for you?

2. What are you most concerned about as a consequence of technological developments?

3. Given your answers to the above questions, what can you do to:

Embrace and harness the potential positives of technology for you in the future?
Guard against what you see as the pitfalls or dangers of technology?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Pros and Cons of Being in a Relationship

2019-12-05T09:30:00.001+00:00

Last week my blog post was about the pros and cons of being single, so it seems only fair this week to post about the pros and cons of being in a relationship. A quick google search revealed some suggestions as to what might be relevant. You can find one possible list at 15 Pros & Cons of a Comfortable Relationship.

Again I would suggest that the pros and cons are going to vary for different people so why not try working out your own list of the relevant items to help you understand better what is important to you in a relationship?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Pros & Cons of Being Single?

2019-11-28T09:44:00.002+00:00

Last week I saw a feature on television citing some research that being single is a financial boon. Whether this is true or not it got me thinking about what might be the advantages and disadvantages of being single. A quick google search brought up the following link where someone has highlighted in a tongue in cheek way 10 pros and cons. You can have a look at that at: 10 Pros & Cons of Being Single.

This is a personal matter as different people will see it differently. Why not make your own list of what you see as the pros and cons and reflect on what this tells you about your personality?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Preparing for Christmas

2019-11-20T09:51:00.001+00:00

With just over a month to go until Christmas, it may be worth spending a few moments to prepare!

Here are three questions to reflect on in your own way and come up with your own answers:

1. What do you want to get out of Christmas this year?
2. What do you want to avoid happening this year?
3. How are you going to act to increase your chances of achieving 1. and 2?

Good luck!

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

World Kindness Day!

2019-11-13T10:36:00.001+00:00

13 November is World Kindness Day!

Enjoy your day and if you have time read the link below describing the benefits of being kind and receiving kindness:

Why Being Kind Could Help You Live Longer

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Stress Awareness Week

2019-11-06T10:00:00.001+00:00

This week is International Stress Awareness Week. For information from the UK mental health charity MIND about managing stress click on the link below:

Managing Stress

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Getting to a Decision

2019-10-30T09:09:00.003+00:00

Faced with difficult choices it can be hard to make a decision on what to do. Click on the link below for a life coaching exercise to help you work through your options and come to a decision:

Making a Decision

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Einstein and Self Help

2019-10-23T09:41:00.003+01:00

The scientist Albert Einstein is reputed to have said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This idea can be applied usefully to self help.

Can you think of a situation where you repeatedly act in the same way in a similar situation and each time it produces the same or similar unwanted results? If so, then the next time that situation arises, try acting in a different way (perhaps in a way which is almost the opposite of how you might have acted habitually - e.g. try being quiet when before you would have shouted). If the results are any better then consider acting in that new way again in future.

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Introducing Mindfulness

2019-10-16T09:58:00.005+01:00

For an introduction into what mindfulness is, basic meditation practice and how mindfulness and meditation can be used to help manage anxiety, click on the link below:

Introduction to Mindfulness,

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Get Your Mind Plan

2019-10-09T09:31:00.002+01:00

Every Mind Matters is the mental health campaign from Public Health England being promoted by the Royals to raise awareness of the symptoms of mental health issues and give ideas for managing difficulties. As part of the campaign the NHS provides a quick 5 question interactive online quiz which ends with some tips provided for you depending on your answers.

To try the quiz, click on the link below:

Try the Mind Plan Quiz

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

What is Self-Sabotage?

2019-10-02T16:47:00.003+01:00

Self-sabotage is when you do or say something which makes it harder for you to achieve what you might reasonably want for yourself. For tips on what you can do if you are prone to sabotaging your own wishes, click on the link below:

Countering Self-Sabotage

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

The Benefits of Kindness

2019-09-25T09:42:00.003+01:00

Research indicates that doing things for others can increase your life satisfaction, provide you with a sense of meaning, reduce your stress and take your mind off your troubles (see Why Helping Others Matters).

So in your own self interest, give a bit of thought to how you might act in a more kindly way whether to people you know well or to others and maybe test out whether this helps you to feel better!

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

What is a Healthy Balanced Diet?

2019-09-19T09:02:00.002+01:00

Click on the link below for information from the National Health Service Website as to what makes for a healthy balanced diet:

Eat Well

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

4 W's of Action

2019-09-11T14:17:00.005+01:00

When setting yourself actions to carry out as part of a plan for achieving your goals, run through the following four W's as a checklist for ensuring your actions are clear and well-defined:

W hy are you going to carry out the action (what do you hope to achieve by it)?
W hat is the action you are going to carry out (Be specific)?
W hen are you going to carry out the action?
W here are you going to carry it out?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Changing a Negative Mood

2019-09-05T14:39:00.002+01:00

Today's blog post focuses on how to change a negative mood by balancing out the negative thoughts that underpin it. To find out more click on the link below:

Changing Negative Thoughts,

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Coping with Failure

2019-08-28T09:33:00.003+01:00

There are two quite different ways you can react to failure.

You can allow the failure to get you down and depress you or you can let it be something which leads you to move forward, achieve greater understanding or make positive changes. If you want to choose the latter approach here are 4 questions you can ask yourself after a perceived failure to achieve a personal goal or to get what you would like in work, leisure or relationships:

1. What can I learn from the perceived failure?
2. If there any way in which it could actually turn out to have a positive side?
3. What can I say to myself which will help me to come to terms with the perceived failure?
4. How can I look at what has happened in a different way in order to help me move forward?

Remember everybody fails many times in their life, but how you react to failure is your choice.

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Become More Self-Confident

2019-08-21T09:34:00.002+01:00

Three types of exercise you can try to help improve your self confidence are:

1. A Confidence Awareness Exercise.
2. A Self Confidence Success Log.
3. A Future Goals Exercise.

Click on the link below for more information:-

Self Confidence Exercises

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Is it Better to Act or to Meditate?

2019-08-14T12:27:00.001+01:00

Which is more helpful - to meditate and ''ground' yourself or to be a man or woman of action?
Well, maybe the two are not incompatible - meditation may for example help you to focus and to act effectively.
Alternatively you may find in some situations reflecting and entering into a Being mode is the right thing for you and in other situations taking on a Doing Mode and acting is what you need to do.

For a comparison of Being and Doing Modes, click on the link below:

Being and Doing

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

The STAR Model for Assertiveness

2019-08-07T09:44:00.002+01:00

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) techniques can help you to deal with situations where anxious or angry thoughts typically get in the way of you acting in a sensible, assertive or practical manner. The STAR Model is a framework I devised some time ago which uses a CBT type approach to help you try out practical solutions and act assertively or sensibly in such situations. The model is known as the STAR Model because the acronym 'STAR' shows you what you have to do. As follows:

Situation - Describe a typical situation where your problematic anxious or angry thoughts occur
Thoughts & Feelings - Write down as exactly as you can the thoughts that go through your head in the typical situation and how you feel
Actions - Write down what you typically do (or don't do - if your anxiety causes you to fail to act)
Results - What is the typical result (Both in practical terms and in terms of how you feel)?

Once you've written this typical scenario down, then go through each of the four stages and write down:

Situation - What could you do next time to help you prepare better for the situation?
Thoughts - What can you say to yourself if those anxious thoughts occur, to help keep them in perspective?
Actions - How could you act in a more constructive, sensible way?
Results - If despite trying all the above things still don't work out as you want, what is the most constructive response you can have at the end of it?

Then try out one or more of the ideas you have come up with, the next time the situation arises.

A more detailed explanation of how the STAR Model works including a worked example relating to anxiety and assertiveness is included in my eBook on assertiveness, available at the link below:

How To Be Assertive

Willpower and Change

2019-08-01T09:42:00.003+01:00

Click on the link below for an article about willpower and whether it is enough to help you make significant changes:

Is Willpower Enough?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

2019-07-31T10:33:00.002+01:00

Sometimes we find ourselves repeating actions or behaviours which don't produce good results, finding it difficult to change and sabotaging our own wishes. Today's blog post gives a coaching exercise to help you analyse and change your behaviour in this kind of situation. Click on the link below to find out more:

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Do You Fear the Future?

2019-07-24T11:35:00.004+01:00

In cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) the term Catastrophising (or Fortune Telling) is sometimes used to describe someone who often imagines the worst and is preoccupied with thinking about what might go wrong.

Click on the link below, if you have a tendency to imagine the worst, for some tips that might help your anxiety:

Facing Your Fears

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas

Create Your Positive Vision

2019-07-15T13:24:00.000+01:00

A well-known coaching exercise designed to help you begin on the path to fulfilling change is to write yourself a letter set in the future in which you envision what a brighter happier time would be like for you. To find out more click on the link below:

Create Your Vision

Find Self-Coaching eBooks at: Downloadable Self-Help eBooks
Coaching Resources available at: Coaching, CBT & Self-Help Ideas