Sara's Saga

Babies all growed up...part one

2012-01-20T01:08:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while I get the beautiful privilege to see one of the babies I've previously caught. The next few post will be of the babies I've caught, followed by a picture or two of them all "growed" up!! Some will be when they are a month or so old, while others I've got to see when they are almost a year or more. :)

Catch # 6

This is Noralyne, so excited to be a mama!!

She named her baby after her midwife...me!! Sara was born on January 27, 2011

was 51 cm long and weighed 3.09 kilos. Such a sweet baby!!

Here is Sara and her mama at 9 months old. Isn't she a beautiful little lady?

Little Sara and her midwife Sara. We make quite the pair, huh? :)

Just look into those eyes and try and tell her no.

It is so much fun seeing these babies grow up.
Keep an eye out for more updates like this one!!

Tastes like....

2012-01-19T16:50:00.000-08:00

So, while Tianne and I were in the market today we saw some Filipino...um...delicacies, shall we say. I was calmly and happily selecting my fruit when I heard Tianne exclaim, "What are those? Are those bats?!?!" I looked over and sure enough, half a dozen bats are hanging on strings.

For just 200 pesos I could buy myself a bat!!

And what might you do with a bat you ask?

Eat it of course!! They taste like wild boar... or so this guy says.


Doesn't he look tasty?

They remind me of the black bats in the Black Forest....gotta love Ted Dekker!!

Fun Poem!!

2012-01-18T17:58:00.001-08:00

I wish I was a fetus
I never would be bored
Sitting in my uterus
Swinging on my cord.

To worry granny midwives
I'd be a proper beast
I'd change position on the hour
Transverse, oblique then breech.

To student midwives I'd present
A mystifying case
I'd hide myself inside the os
And leave an empty space.

I'd tie my cord into a knot
And wave it through the cervix
I'd give the midwives such a shock
And laugh off all my vernix.

And when my membranes rupture
I'd be a right old pest
Presenting large diameters
I'd transversely arrest.

I'd tell my pal placenta
To get himself detached
To theatre then the lot of us
Would pronto be dispatched.

And when they start to caesar
I'd laugh and think "Tee hee!'
When no one else is looking
I'll come vaginally.

~*~ Author Unknown~*~

Beautiful Babies

2012-01-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love most about my job is getting to see such beautiful babies. Below are just a few of my favorites...

Shanaiah born January 18, 2011weighing 3.27 kilos

Jael Grace born March 20, 2011 weighing 3.33 kilos

Ben Renz born September 9, 2011 weighing 2.61

Tarren born October 26, 2011 weighing 3.32 kilos

Crisha Loise born December 8, 2011 weighing 2.73 kilos

Zenrhan born December 21, 2011 weighing 3.04 kilos

Gabriel born December 25, 2011 weighing 2.45 kilos

Adrinne Kane born December 31, 2011 weighing 2.98 kilos

'Twas the morning of Christmas...

2011-12-29T06:01:00.000-08:00

'Twas the morning of Christmas, and all through the place

Excitement was flowing with joy on each face.

The Filipinos were all gone, only the Americans were there.

Breakfast was served...it was quite the affair!

Fruit smoothies, omelets, gravy and biscuits

Each of these thought to be great favorites.

The party was moved, up the stairs we all went

We'd open all the presents that were sent.

After the gifts came the Christmas movies.

Little did we know we'd soon be catching babies!!

Dogs were barking, so I peaked out the window

And saw a tricy parked below.

Down the stairs I went to open the door.

When I saw the woman I thought today would not be a bore!

Active, was she ever! The baby's coming she shouted,

Call Georgia! Will she make it? I doubted.

I threw a sheet on the bed.

And just in time to see the baby's head!

Two more Christmas babies we caught

A more memorable Christmas could not be bought.

Long time...no see

2011-12-13T00:55:00.000-08:00

It's been too long since my last update. Rather than write a long update I'll just post a bunch of pictures to show you what I've been up to!! I hope you enjoy them!! =)

Happy Birthday Hosea Luke!! October 12, 2011

October 26, 2011 Doesn't sweet little Tarren look just like a little pumpkin?

October 31-November 4 I got to go up to Bugnay again.

I love visiting the mountains...it had been too long!!

I love this old woman...she's so cute I got to cook over the fire in the home where

and has quite a bit of spunk too! we stayed...nothing like pancake mush!!

This woman has the most beautiful smile, This day on outreach I think I ended up

but she doesn't like to show her teeth. weighing about 15 babies of different ages!

Meet Norvin - November 7, 2011

The day after Anrhey was born (November 18, 2011) I went to his home to check on him and his mama.

Even though it was a short trip, I had a nice little break in Manila for a day.

Like I said, it was a NICE break!! =)

Just a couple days after Thanksgiving I got to attend a breech birth!! It was a really good birth too!!

The baby cried a little right after he was born and only needed a little help to breath. So much to be thankful for!!

Each Tuesday I work in the clinic doing prenatal exams. I love watching

a moms face when she hears her baby's heartbeat for the first time!!

This little guy weighed only 2.1 kgs (4.6 lbs) when he was born on

December 2, 2011. Please pray that he is doing good. His mama hasn't come

back for any postpartum checks and I worry that maybe he's not gaining enough.

This is Lilibeth, doesn't she look good for being in labor?

She was so excited to finally meet her sweet little girl on December 8, 2011.

So, that's some of what I've been up to the past two months...fill in the gaps with LOTS of studying, sleeping when I can and having fun with my roommates! I hope that December is going well so far for you and that you enjoy the holiday season!! I know I will!!

I don't do spiders!!

2011-10-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the other night my roommates and I watched a movie in the other room. When they went back in our room after the movie I heard them calling for me saying "your friend is in here!" This could mean only thing. A spider was in our room.
Now, let me take a moment to tell you about the relationship I have with spiders. I don't mind small spiders. Even if they are in the house...I don't mind too much. However, a spider that has a more than 1-2 inch leg span is not my friend, especially if it is hairy. EEEK!!! If they are seen within my living quarters they will be caught and boiled. Yes, boiled. I do not squish said spiders because I seen a spider get squished only to have a billion tiny off spring scatter. I WILL NOT squish a spider.
You may be wondering how to go about catching a spider? I'll tell you by getting back to my story.
So, I walked into our room and sure enough my "friend" is hanging out on the bottom of Emily's dresser. And to top it off I can clearly see that she is carrying a VERY LARGE egg sac underneath her. I'm standing there with my roommates and I begin to panic inside. I can sense that I may loose it, so I grab an empty Pringles can that was on another dresser removed the lid and tried to catch the nemesis. She was quick though and she had a leg span of about 3 1/2 inches which is just a little bit bigger than the can I was trying to catch her in. At that point I began to panic outwardly. I wasn't going to just leave her there...letting her babies hatch and become big and invade our room. NO WAY!!
One of my roommates handed me Tianne's arenola (pee pot that you pee in at night and empty in the morning) which thankfully she has not yet used. However, by this point panic was truly setting in. I couldn't do it. I just kept thinking about missing and it jumping on me and biting me, or missing and her getting away. I was frozen. But Emily came to the rescue! She took the arenola from me and slammed it down over the nasty thing! YAY!!! Now I could do something. We took some paper and slid it carefully between the side of the dresser and the arenola. Then moved it to the edge in order to put the lid in place.
We carefully brought it downstairs to boil some water and poor it over her. As we walked into the kitchen half a dozen cockroaches scattered. These used to bother me, but I've kind of just got used to them and while I still find them gross, they don't really bother me much now. As I was putting the kettle on the stove a rat ran across the floor. Again, I don't like rats, especially in the house, but they don't bother me as much as they used to. It's just the spiders that I can not deal with.
When the kettle whistled I took great pride in poring the boiling water over the thing that disturbs me so much! Once I was satisfied that she was indeed boiled to death we removed the lid to look at her again. She was floating in the water, all curled up, her egg sac floating beside her. EEESH!! I felt like vomiting. Tianne took it outside and disposed of the nasty thing.
It took me awhile to fall asleep that night because every time I closed my eyes all I could picture was the spider. BLEH!!!
The picture here is one I found on the internet, but looks just like the one that had the audacity to try and set up house in my living space. You see her egg sac? How many baby spiders do you think are in there?!?!

Missing the Garhwal Hills

2011-10-06T04:38:00.000-07:00

Not a day goes by that I do not think about India, my second home. I often sit on the balcony in the evening watching the sunset, remembering how I used to watch the sun sink behind the hills from my host family's front steps. I long to see the neighbor ladies all sitting together with their knitting and neighborhood gossip. I think back to my language route and my visits with the shop keepers. Trying to understand the game of cricket, practicing my Hindi, discussing a wide array of topics. I miss my Indian clothes, the comfort and colors. I crave Indian food, the spices and flavors. I ache to be back there, where everything is so familiar, where I know and love the culture, to see my friends, visiting over chai and pakoras just like old times. I miss the sights, smells and sounds. I miss hearing and speaking Hindi. I miss India so much!
I keep telling myself that another year and a half isn't that long. But it feels like ages!! God has imprinted India and her beautiful people so deeply upon my heart. India shall forever be home.

Tickling the heart of God

2011-09-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought about tickling the heart of God? You know how when a small child tells you the cutest thing you've ever heard? Or when a child brings you the biggest arm full of freshly picked dandelions...all the stems so short that there is no way you can put them in a vase, so instead you just put them in a bowl of water? Or when you lay on the top of a hill watching the clouds together and that sweet little child's imagination just runs wild with what they see in the clouds? Or when after having to discipline a small loved one and they look up at you, tears still fresh in their eyes and they simply say, "I love you." And your heart just melts, so in love with that child. Tickled that they love you no matter what you do. No matter how many mistakes you make. No matter if you forgot them at church or even at the grocery store.

Sometimes I like to imagine my self frolicking through a meadow with Jesus, chasing each other across the hills. Picking wildflowers with Him, chasing butterflies, laughing over the silliest little things, and then tumbling to the ground, laying there giggling like little children. Watching the clouds overhead and falling asleep in the sweet sunshine. Then walking down to the little stream and sitting on a log that lays from one bank to the other, dangling our toes in the cool water. Talking about everything and nothing. Just like the old friends that we are.
One day, I hope that I can find this meadow for real...just like I picture it in my head. A few rolling hills, covered in wildflowers. A nice sunny day, not too hot. A small breeze that just barely stirs the grass and flowers. Beautiful butterflies floating from one flower to the next. Little birds singing a sweet song of praise. Clouds drifting through the sky, just the perfect kind for watching. A gentle brook, lined with trees that give just enough shade from the late afternoon sun, with that log that rests over the water in the perfect place to dangle your feet and visit. And I'll stay there all day with Jesus. When I get hungry there will be a berry patch filled with strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. When I get sleepy, I'll lay in the sun and rest. If I'm thirsty I can drink from the brook. But the whole day I'll be with Jesus in this perfect, wonderful, undisturbed place. And it will tickle His heart to spend the whole day with me, and I with Him. Talking and running and laughing like old friends.
But until I find this meadow...I content myself with the one in my head. And when the stress of this life becomes too much for me...this is where I retreat to. And I cherish these moments with Jesus. In childlike innocence I enjoy His love, His presence and His joy. And it is so refreshing! And I know that it tickles His heart to meet me there.

How about you? Do you have a place that you imagine going to? A place of retreat with Jesus? How do you picture tickling the heart of Jesus?

Sweet baby Gabriel

2011-09-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

There is nothing sweeter than seeing a new life come into this world. And there is nothing more bitter than watching that same life slip away just hours later.
My patient pushed her 4kg (8lb 4oz) son into the world at 2:08am after a VERY difficult labor with intense back pain. It was her first baby and she was so excited to finally meet him. But within less than a minute of his birth it was clear that he was not yet breathing very well. He would sort of gasp, but that was it. So for the next 15-20 minutes we fought to get this baby to breath. We tried to stimulate him and we did PPV. We deep suctioned him, but he was still struggling. He was gasping, had nasal flaring and retractions. Within 40 minutes after he was born we transported him to the local hospital.
The next morning after hearing that Ian Dave was not doing so well we talked with the family about transporting him to Tugugarao (an hour and a half drive) since the hospital there has a NICU. They decided that they would transport if one of us could go with to help advocate for them. My friend Chel and I went with them.
When we got to the hospital I could tell that that little Ian Dave had only a slim chance. He was very pale and his fingernails were quite blue. But I prayed so hard that he would make it.
About 15 minutes into the drive the baby's auntie who was holding him asked if we could stop and check him because he didn't seem to be breathing. He took a couple gasps and then nothing. The nurse in the ambulance did not have a stethoscope with and I couldn't find a pulse, so I began doing chest compressions on his tiny body. His color would get better for a little bit, but then it he would become pale again. I continued doing chest compressions all the way to the hospital, praying the entire way.
When we got to the hospital the Dr. assessed him and couldn't locate a heartbeat at first. They continued doing chest compressions and finally were able to hear the heartbeat. They gave him an injection to help get his heart going, which seemed to help for a while, but soon the heartbeat would crash again. They tried to help Ian Dave. They tried hard. But in the end, Ian Dave went to be with Jesus.
My heart breaks for his mommy and daddy. I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through. May came into the clinic at noon on Saturday, expecting to hold her baby soon, but instead she only got to hold his lifeless body 14 hours after he was born. I pray that God will comfort their breaking hearts, that He will wrap them close in His loving embrace. And that somehow, someway, healing comes. I pray that they always remember and honor their precious son, Ian Dave, but that the hurt they feel right now becomes less and less.
To Gabriel. A precious baby who was with us for such a short time, but that has left an impression on my heart and his family's hearts for all eternity.

*Names changed to protect the family.

Gabriel

2011-09-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

Gabriel. We fought for you. We fought so hard for you. But now you are with Jesus. And I know that God will shine His glory through your life and death.
Thank you to all who prayed for this precious little baby, and his family who loved him dearly. Please continue to pray for his mom and dad and the rest of his family as they bury his body today.

*Name changed to protect family.

Jai Hind!!! Happy Birthday India!!!!

2011-08-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Jai Hind जय हिंद "Victory to India" or "Long live India"

On 15 August 1947 India gained independence from British rule. While India is made up of many religions, people and a vast culture, the people of India share one common bond...their homeland. No matter if they are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist or any of the various other religions, they can gather around and hoist the Indian flag united in peace, proud to be Hindustani.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

Journey to the market

2011-07-14T16:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning I woke up about 6am. I puttered around the house for awhile before finally deciding to walk to the market with my camera. Now, normally you take a tricey (motorcycle with a sidecar attached), but sometimes I just want to walk. If you walk fast, you can get there in about 15-20 minuets. But it took me about half an hour because I just moseyed along. It was the perfect morning for a nice stroll. =) My hope was though that I would get there just as people were setting up. However, I was a bit late because everyone was all set up already. But I set about taking pictures any way. So, without further ado, here is the Dagupan market.
*I was messing with the black and white setting, so most of the pick are B&W

Would you like some chopped veggies?

Laying out the bananas

That's about 50 cents a pineapple!!

She'll even cut it open for you.

Don't look amazing?!?!

This lady was admiring the sign she just made

Kids toys anyone?

Who wouldn't buy dried fish from them?

He was sitting on his little stool so well!!

This lady was just too cute selling her corn.

These ladies were pretty shy

Chickens anyone? Or how about a nap in a hammock next to 'em?

Or maybe a duck? They've got bunnies too!!

This couple was selling mussels

Homegrown tobacco anyone?

Or, maybe you'd like a bolo (machete)?

A fish had just jumped out of his basket

His friend though it was funny

How about some fresh veggie from an old lady?

Thank you for joining me on my adventure to the market!!

I hope you enjoyed these pictures!! They were fun to take and fun to put up on here!! I love and miss you all!!
~sara~

Number our days

2011-07-06T18:07:00.000-07:00

Psalm 90:12-17

So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom...O satisfy us in the morning with Your loving kindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days...And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands.

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Some days are harder for me than others. Living cross culturally is not easy, and studying cross culturally is even more difficult. I've had my ups and downs living in the Fils, some days seem to be filled with more downs than ups. And yet, God has been so faithful through it all. In the moments that I really feel that I cannot continue on, He's shown up in beautiful ways. Sometimes through a quiet time, or a song. Sometimes through beautiful birth. Sometimes through something a patient said. The list could go on.
My prayer this morning is that God does teach me to number my days. I am only here for a short time. And while some days it seems like I'll be here forever, it is especially on those days that I need to remember to make the most of the time I have here. I am here to learn and to minister to the women who come to the clinic. I need to allow Jesus to satisfy my longings with His loving kindness. And He wants to. He longs to longs to hear me sing for joy, being thankful for each day He gives me. The work He has called me to is for His glory. And I pray that everything I do will point others to Him, will bring Him glory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus, as I go about my day today, help me to remember why I am here. Satisfy me with your loving kindness. Let your loving kindness overflow in my life, so much that it overflows right into the lives of those around me. Let me sing for joy, even in the moments when I just want to give up. In those moments, remind me why I am here. Confirm the work of my hands God. Confirm the work that You have called me to.

I love you Jesus.

~sara~

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

It's not about you...

2011-06-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

I was woken up yesterday morning by the clinic phone at 5am. I was not too excited that my labor ended up being ANOTHER G1 (meaning it's her first baby). I've had so many G1's lately and they've all been REALLY long labors which is kind of the "norm" for someone who is having her first baby. I'd had my day all planned out. It was Sunday, my day to rest and relax. And even with that I'd already decided that I would work on my assignment for 5 hours (something I usually NEVER do on Sundays!!). Anyway. She texted off and on for the next couple hours. She said her labor had started at 3am so I figured she was still in early labor. Then at 7 am I hear a truck in the driveway, Hairy barking and just as I am looking out the window she texts to say she is here. They are supposed to let us know BEFORE they come so that we can be ready for them (get the birth room ready and everything). So, I was a bit irritated, but went downstairs with a smile anyway, asking God to change my attitude. She was a really sweet girl and was rather composed which only confirmed in my mind that she was early, so was I surprised to find that she was already 6-7 cm dilated! Maybe it wouldn't be a long labor after all! I finished checking her in and getting her as comfortable as possible. She wanted to walk around outside with her mom and husband which is so good. I told her I was going to take a quick shower and I'd be right back.
As I was showing I really prayed and thanked God for already beginning to change my attitude. I also asked that she would have a really good labor and birth. That He was show up throughout the process. And that it would just be a sweet, sweet time sitting with her. And was it ever!! :)
As I sat with her, she wanted me to rub her belly with each contraction. If my hand was not in the "right" place she would move it. Or if I had been writing in her chart, she would reach out her hand for mine and place it on her belly. There were a couple of contractions where she would begin to cry out, focusing on the pain. But then when that contraction was over, she would refocus and compose herself, asking God for strength and then with the next contraction she would be either praying or talking to her baby. It was so sweet. I saw strength written all over her young face. I saw her draw strength from within herself, even at the times that she felt she couldn't go on. I saw her lean into Jesus, asking and trusting the He would and was helping her.
The actual birth of her baby took awhile and there was a bit of a worrisome time when the baby's heart rate began to crash. But with changing position, head stim to the baby and O2 it began to climb again. I know we were all praying. And then finally her baby entered this world! A little boy. It took him a bit to find his voice, but when he did, you knew it was there!!
What an honor it was to sit with her as she labored and then to catch her baby as it came into the world! Every time I attend a birth I feel so blessed and honored to be a part of something so special and intimate. But I think it was even more so this time.
Even though my day was disrupted and I didn't get nearly everything done that I'd planned, I wouldn't have traded that birth for anything! God is so good!
Here's a couple pictures of this beautiful new little family. :)

India, graduations, wedding, family and fun!!

2011-06-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I updated this last. I am so sorry for being MIA. :(
Anyway. At the end of April I began my break by making a two week trip to India. It was so good to see and visit with so many of my friends there. :) I've missed them all too much! Here's a couple of pictures from my time there.

One of the neighbor kids and I

This is my host mom and dad. Aren't they fun?


This is one of my dear friends


Hard at her studies

As well as going to India for two weeks, I also was able to spend a few weeks at home. I first went to Oklahoma for the annual Nomads conference and to spend some time with my team leaders who are at home now. Here's just a couple of pictures to highlight my time in Oklahoma. :)

Deakin

Zeke

Sadly I seem to have misplaced the SD card that had the most adorable picture of their older brother and his best friend. :(

My next stop was Iowa. My little sister and her two boys picked me up at the airport, and I'm pretty sure even Sammy remembered me. :) I'll try to limit the pictures here, but I have 5 nephews and one niece, plus there were two graduations, a wedding and LOTS of family time since my parents were home, so please bare with me as I show off my beautiful family. :)

Eli, one of the goofiest, smartest kids ever

Sam, lover of all things in nature

Just a little action shot!

Two of the most beautiful women I know Great Gma Fern & Mom

Congrats Amanda, er I mean, Anna!!

Way to go Kry!!

Jude Dude and Grandma Pam

Noah loves to share his ice cream with Grandpa Keith!

Noah showing off his helicopter

Toby will steal your heart in no time!

Kaili Sue making goofy faces with Grandma Pam

Welcome to the family Ashley! You are gorgeous! You too Jake

I would LOVE to show you more pictures of my break, but there are so many I don't know that I could choose, and you might get board. ;)
I am now back in the Fils, truckin' away at my schooling and catching babies. :) I'll post some pics of the two I've caught since being back soon. In the meantime, I hope you are doing well. Send me a note and let me know how you are doing!! I love hearing from you!
~sara~

Coming Home

2011-05-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple weeks since my last update. I had a great time in India and am now in Iowa enjoying spending time with my family. :D It's been really nice to be able to relax and just enjoy being. I've even been able to do a bit of sewing! I had been stressing a bit about finding something to wear to the wedding. And then my little sister said she got a new sewing machine and was going to make her dress for the rehearsal, and I thought, well, why not?! So I picked out a pattern and cloth and started stitching away! I've got my dress for the wedding done, now I just need to finish up the one for the rehearsal. :)
Anyway. I wanted to post something that I wrote while I was in India. I hope you enjoy it.

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I’m sitting in our house by the door. Outside I hear the birds, the neighbors steamer as she is cooking. I can hear the prayers being sung at the temples, there are a couple coolies walking up the hill, talking about the small things in life. I can hear the scooters as people head to the market and the engines of trucks straining as they chug up the mountain, honking all the way to let anyone on the road know they are coming through. And I think, I am home.
I sat on the plane in Bangkok. Some people got off and others got on for the flight to Delhi. And just like I was longing for, the plane began filling with Indians. There were Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims. All talking and laughing together. All with one common bond, India. As they found their seats I noticed a distinctly Indian smell. It is hard to describe, but if you’ve been to India I am sure you know the smell I am talking about. It is garlic and onions mixed with spices and incense and a bit of sweat. And I knew I was going home.
As I walked from the plan to the airpot in Dehra Dun I had a huge smile plastered on my face. I couldn’t wipe it off to save my life! I looked around, taking everything in. Women in their saris, men waring kurtas and pajamis. I looked at the mountains all around me and I knew I was close to home.
I met Suzy in town. We talked for quite awhile, catching up on each other lives. She brought one of my suits with her, so I went and changed. Then we ate lunch, ran a few errands and went to visit my host sister who is studying in Dehra Dun. It was her birthday so it was an extra special surprise. Then we headed to the bus station and began the trek up the mountain. We took a taxi from where the bus stops up to Landour where our house is. I looked at everything on the way up, noticing everything that was the same and everything that had changed. I listened to the sounds, loving every one of them. And the smells! I couldn’t get enough of the smells! Finally, after we’d dropped my things off at the house we headed up to my host family’s house. We stopped and said hi to many people. I love hearing Hindi, even though I’ve lost much of what I could once understand and speak. I hadn’t told my host mom what day I was coming. I wanted it to be a surprise. And boy was it!! :D She jumped off the bed she was sitting on and gave me the biggest hug, all the while saying, “Oh! Ma, MA!!!” just like I knew she would. I visited with them for so long, cherishing each moment.
And I knew, I was home.

Mixed feelings

2011-04-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

So, I fly out for India tomorrow. And I can't wait! But I'm also nervous. I'm excited to be in a place I call home again. But what if it doesn't seem like home anymore? I can't wait to see all the beautiful Indian people. But what if I view them in a different light than I once did? I'm looking forward to hearing the sounds, seeing the sights, and smelling the odors that are India. But what if the sounds, sights and odors that I once was attracted to are now repulsive to me?
What if I have remembered and glorified India in such a way that when I step off the plane everything that I once held so close to my heart is the last thing that I now desire? This is what makes me nervous. I love India and I don't want to do anything other than that, love India. And so this trip makes me a bit nervous because my love for India, her people and her culture may change in the blink of an eye. And I do not want that.
Please lift me up to the Father as I travel to, arrive and travel in India. Ask that any changes in my thoughts, views and heart toward India will have only made my bond there stronger. Ask that as I meet up with all my friends that we will have a sweet time of reconnecting and that our friendship will be strengthened and renewed. Ask that all the nervousness I have right now will be put to rest in Him. But most of all, ask that while I am there, that His light will shine through me.

Summer break

2011-03-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

In just a few weeks I will be taking my summer break from school. I am so looking forward and needing this time! This past year has been full of joys, struggles, lessons learned, excitement, and longings. God has taught me so much about myself. And frankly it's overwhelming. I am really looking forward to taking time to just rest and reflect.
But that's not the only thing I am looking forward to...
During my break I will be going back to India for a couple weeks. For the past two months or so I've been imagining what it will be like to walk through Mussoorie again. To walk my old language route. To stop in at the sewing shop and share a cup of tea while watching and learning about cricket with the shop keeping. To have an enlightening conversation with Rashib at his shoe/umbrella shop. To walk down below the Sikh temple to visit Aprit's family, along with all the other families who live down there. Maybe to learn a new knitting stitch or two from the ladies. To stop in a Innam's tailoring shop. Then to walk up to his brother Islam's house and have chai with his wife, mom and girls. Then to continue up the mountain and stop in at Ayub second hand shop. Maybe have another cup of chai with his family. And then continue on up the hill until I finally arrive at my host family's house. To walk in and sit down with my mom for a final cup of chai for the day. Maybe play a game of goat and lion with my dad or sister. To help my mom cook dinner. To eat a bowl of halim or egg curry. To watch some of the Indian serials then play a game of Settlers, or the "stealing game" as my mom calls it.

Oh!! I can't wait!! And this is only the first half of my break! I'll tell you the next half in another post. In the meantime, here's a couple pictures from my last time in India. :)

An idea a-brewing...

2011-03-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

So, I've had an idea floating around in my head for quite some time. I would like to start a blog that is all about cooking/baking in another country. Partly to share fun/frustrating stories about the challenges of cooking in another country and partly as a reference for other people living over seas. I'd like to be able to have it somewhat open so that other people can submit ideas, recipes, substitutes, stories and frustrations as well.
Anyway, I'd like to know your thoughts on this as well as ideas for a name for the blog. Keep in mind that it might end up being more than just kitchen happenings. Please leave your ideas for names as well as any other topics you think I should include! Thanks for your feedback!! :)

WARNING BRUTALLY HONEST POST!!

2011-03-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

If you don't want to read about a missionary who struggles, who ~~sometimes~~ often doesn't want to be where she is, longs to be elsewhere and on some days wants to give up, than please, read no further.

However, if you are ok with hearing the honest truth of the struggles, longings, and wantings to give up, than please, continue on.

I would like to take a moment and be brutally honest with you...

Some days I really don't want to be here in the Philippines. I do not connect with the culture here (don't get me wrong, I do love the girls that I live with and I enjoy the woman who come for prenatals). I don't like that everyone here is so western but not. It's like they are trying to be someone they aren't. I feel like we eat the same (good, but the same) food all the time. And I HATE country music and that's the favorite genre of everyone here.

Some days I just want to talk to my family and friends without either getting up really early or staying up late. I hate that when I do try and call my family they never answer their phone. I hate that I wasn't able to even wish my nephew a happy birthday yet (and it's already been five days since his birthday) let alone celebrate with him. I hate that I've missed three of my nephews births and I'll miss this next one too.

Sometimes I would love to be able to bake something when I have all the ingredients readily available. To be able to make something and not have to think about what I need to substitute for something I can't get. Or to be able to try a recipe that calls for specialty ingredients. To not have to try and get things to bake right, struggling with the humidity and everything.

Some days I really just want to have a normal job, 9 to 5. Monday through Friday. To be able to get up in the morning and actually GO to work...get in my car and drive across town, park, and walk into my work place. Have a lunch break. Work through the afternoon and get off at five. To be able to go home and cook dinner in my own kitchen that is decorated how I want it and has all the utensils I could ever DREAM of having (including a can opener that ACTUALLY works!!).

Some days I just want to have my own home. To not share everything with everybody. To be able to leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight and it not't matter to anyone but me. To have a house to myself, not having people around me CONSTANTLY!! (since I moved here in August I've only been completely alone in the house twice) To be able to be me, without having people telling me don't do that, don't say things that way, or you should do this or be this.

Some days I just want to give up. I want to go home. I want to have a car, a home and eventually, a family. I read about my friends who are married and have several children. I see on Facebook that even some of my campers are having babies!! And I wonder, will I ever get married? Will I ever have a family? Some days I just want to say, "That's it. I've had enough. I'm going home." I want to say to God, "Here, take it. This burden you've given to me...I can't handle it anymore. You can have it back."

These are just a few of the things that I struggle with, usually in one area or another almost every day. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I know that God has me here for a reason, that the training I am receiving will help to reach the woman of north India. And I know that God is faithful and will see me through, even through these hard times. But I also wanted to be honest so that you know that I do struggle. So that you can pray for me, write me notes of encouragement. I miss home and I want to be there, but I will continue on.

I am reminded of Paul when he was writing to the believers at Philippi. Paul was struggling with his longing to be with Jesus, to be home. He says that if he was given the choice to stay or go, he knows he would stay for their sake. Given the choice, it would be tough, and I'm really not sure what I would choose at this point (it's been a pretty tough day), but I hope that I would choose to stay. To continue on. Knowing that it my struggles will be to the benefit of the Jaunsari people.

If you are shocked by my honesty, I am sorry. I simply wanted you to know my struggles, my burdens. Thank you for listening.
~sara~

Sara's Saga

Babies all growed up...part one

Tastes like....

Fun Poem!!

Beautiful Babies

'Twas the morning of Christmas...

Long time...no see

I don't do spiders!!

Missing the Garhwal Hills

Tickling the heart of God

Sweet baby Gabriel

Gabriel

Jai Hind!!! Happy Birthday India!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Journey to the market

Number our days

Wordless Wednesday

It's not about you...

India, graduations, wedding, family and fun!!

Coming Home

Mixed feelings

Summer break

An idea a-brewing...

**WARNING** BRUTALLY HONEST POST!!

WARNING BRUTALLY HONEST POST!!