My Heart

Grad School Gratitude

2020-08-08T01:24:00.002-05:00

Hello, friends. It's been four years or so since I've stopped by my blog to do a little writing. That's because I've been working hard to complete a Master of Divinity degree from Abilene Christian University, an endeavor that left little time for my own writing. I had the honor of walking across the stage in Wildcat Stadium on the campus of ACU this evening to receive my degree, and I'm ready to get back to sharing my heart through this blog. And I want to start with a post of gratitude for many of the people who helped me successfully complete my life-changing journey through grad school.

A little over four years ago, I asked my husband to pray with me, to discern whether grad school was a good option for me. When we agreed that it was something I should do, I jumped in with both feet and experienced God's confirmation of our decision time after time. Several months later, I was elbow-deep in study and loving it.

Dr. Mindi Thompson, who has since become a dear friend, gave me my first perfect score on a major assignment, which was then followed by the same from Dr. Curt Niccum. (I blame them for my drive for perfection for the next three and a half years!) They taught me many things that first summer about the literature of the Bible and about how to interpret it well, but they also taught me that I was a capable, that I was intelligent, and that I had the grit and determination to tackle grad school with excellence. Dr. Wes Crawford honed my writing skills and made me believe that I had true ability. Dr. Paavo Tucker encouraged me to relax the expectations I had of myself, to give myself permission to "miss a dot and tittle" every now and then (he was my first Hebrew prof), because expecting constant perfection was no way to be an effective minister. Dr. Tim Sensing encouraged me to be creative with my approach to ministry, knowing that it is a challenging field for a woman to enter. I could go on and on about each of my professors who invested in me, believed in me, encouraged me, challenged me, and made me a better person, Christ-follower and minister. I owe so very much to them.

And then there are the friends I made along the way. Women like Kerri and Nancy who inspire me and make me so glad to have studied alongside them and that I get to call them friends even though we all live in different states. Women who have cried with me, prayed with me, celebrated with me. I will love them always.

But really more than anything, I owe a deep debt of gratitude to some very important people a little closer to home.

To my husband, Scott, and my children: Thank you. Thank you for the thousand different ways you supported me through this experience. Thank you for cheering me on, listening to me ramble on about whatever subject I was studying (Scott particularly loved it when I talked about St. Ignatius of Loyola... 😂), helping me practice Hebrew and Greek vocabulary, letting me hide away on paper-writing or test-taking days, and sacrificing time and attention that should have been yours but went to my studies instead. You have been my biggest cheerleaders - especially you, Scott - and I couldn't have finished without your support.

And then there's my friend and mentor, Daren, without whom I never would've even thought about grad school. He saw possibility in me long before anyone else did, and he invested so much time and heart into forming me into a person who was worthy of God's calling into ministry. And now I have the privilege of working alongside both him and our friend Kevin as we pour ourselves out on behalf of the Crossroads CC congregation. I couldn't ask for a better team of pastors to work with, and they both have encouraged and supported me in countless ways. Daren: thank you for seeing my potential, for pushing me to think harder and feel deeper, to love and be loved more than I thought possible, and to see people through the eyes of Jesus. Kevin: thank you for your constant encouragement and for seeing the best in me. Thank you for your leadership and your always-open door.

Today was a bittersweet day, as I took my family on a tour of campus and watched them enjoy the campus of ACU almost as much as I did. My heart ached just a little to know that I probably won't be back to study within those walls, at least not in the foreseeable future. And then the ceremonies that had to happen online instead of in person because Covid-19 happened. I got to see the beautiful faces of so many that I had studied with at some point during the last four years, but there were no hugs, no shoulder-to-shoulder as we celebrated together. I felt the sweetness of hearing that my instructors chose to honor me with a leadership award because they saw strength and promise in who I am and the kind of minister I am becoming, but again... no handshakes, no embracing the women and men who helped me grow into who I am.

But the day ended with that glorious - and sweltering hot - experience of the graduation. Of actually walking across the stage, hearing my name spoken and seeing my picture on the jumbo-tron, and finally being able to say I have a master's degree. There were some loved ones who couldn't make the trip to Abilene, and they were sorely missed, but the ones who could come made it the most special of experiences for me. It was a sticky-hot evening, but it was good, and it was one that will be long remembered with fondness.

I know that to some, finishing grad school doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but friends let me tell you: these last four years have changed me. They have formed me in countless ways. They were four of the most difficult, exhausting, exciting, and full years I have ever experienced. I can't say that I loved every minute, or even every class, but I wouldn't trade a moment of it. I'm so very grateful that God called me into this journey, that He led me to ACU, and that he sustained me through the process.

And I am so excited to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and - God willing - the next, and see what new journey He has mapped out for me now.

God so loved the world...that He gave us Christmas

2019-12-23T09:25:00.000-06:00

Jesus is the reason for the season. Yes, that statement is absolutely true. In the middle of all the business of the Christmas season, it’s so important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus is what it’s all about. Family is important. Generosity is important. Loving one another is absolutely important. But even in the middle of all of that really great, important stuff stands The One who is the Most Important of all.

Jesus.

The Christ.

The Messiah.

I understand why we Christians have our mantras like Keep Christ in Christmas and Jesus is the reason for the season. But I think even these catchphrases fail to really capture the depth of what Christmas is all about. They’re good reminders that Christmas isn’t about the commercialism that the world throws at us, or even the good deeds that we focus so much more intently on during the Christmas season than we do the rest of the year. But they skim along the surface of the truth of Christmas without plunging the depths of what God did in and through the Advent.

Do you realize that of all the things God created, it was only to humankind that he gave his very own breath? Only we were created to be like him. Only we were created to walk with him in the garden in the cool of the morning. Oh, we are so loved and so privileged among all the creatures of the earth!

And yet, we chose something other than him. We chose – and continue to choose – ourselves. And from that first moment when humanity chose to explore the less-than instead of trusting God’s best, God put in motion his plan to bring us back into perfect relationship with himself. That plan came into fullness when he gave himself to walk among us in flesh.

God himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, stepped out of the throne room of heaven and into the brokenness of earth.

No other god has done that. No other god would dare subject himself to that sort of humility.

But ours did. And he did it in order to repair the brokenness that we caused.

God did this great thing because he loves those whom he created. He loves us with a kind of love that I’m not convinced we can fully understand in our broken human condition. It is a love so deep that even living and dying as a human fully rejected by the world was not too high a price to pay to bring us back to himself.

Friends, it is my prayer this Christmas that you will spend some time soaking in the truth of Jesus. I pray you will let yourself be overwhelmed by the love and goodness that God poured out for you in the giving of himself. I pray that the depth of love that God has for you will be an anchor for your life in the year and years ahead.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16

Savoring Today

2019-12-23T09:22:00.000-06:00

December 23, 2019 ~ I found this post unfinished in my blogger this morning, apparently written about four years ago. So much has changed in the four years since I authored these thoughts, yet so much is still the same. The principle rings just as true today as it did then: time is fleeting. My thoughts of four years ago are as much a reminder to myself today as I hope they will be for you.

As I walked through my living room and dining room at 6:15 this morning, headed through to the kitchen where a hot, life-giving pot of coffee was waiting thanks to my wonderful husband, I cringed at the piles of "stuff" that littered the tables in the rooms.

And I do mean that to be plural - tables - with an "s."

The coffee table, the end table, the dining room table... they were all covered in piles. Papers dumped from school bags, magazines abandoned mid-perusal, chord charts from last night's worship team rehearsal, hairbrushes and pony-tail holders, a baggie of grapes, folded stacks of laundry, dirty socks, a forgotten toy...

What a disaster.

I read an article last week that described habits of people who always have a clean house.

The author of that article didn't have any children living in her house. (She said so herself.) I'm wondering how different her article would have been if she lived with my four.

Because, while I do many of the things she suggested, I have four - five, if you include my hubby - other people in my house who contribute to it's state of chaos. And this has been one of those weeks. You know, the kind where you have more on your to-do list than you can possibly accomplish as just one person, and you wish you could either clone yourself or do the I Dream of Genie thing and have everything magically fall into place.

One of those weeks where you have to chose: Clean the bathroom or bake cookies with my daughter so she can take them to school for her birthday?

Scrub the kitchen floors or help my kiddo with his homework project.

Go home on my lunch hour and run laundry, or spend that hour with my friend and mentor, stretching my faith and learning how to more effectively minister in God's Kingdom.

Dust the living room or give my youngest his first piano lesson, that he's been asking about for weeks and weeks.

Make the bed or braid my daughter's hair.

Wash the sink full of pots and pans or sit next to my husband on the couch, listening to him spill all the details of his full-to-the brim day.

Having a tidy home is important, I know. Everyone feels better when the space around them is picked up. (See, Mom, I did listen...) Even I have learned that I'm more at ease when my surroundings are orderly.

But moms (and dads!), cut yourselves some slack. When life happens - and sometimes it does, in nice long stretches - look around at your chaos and give thanks for the things that make life so full that cleaning up gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. Enjoy the moments with your kids that matter; make those memories that you can never re-do. Savor the richness of today, because tomorrow it will be gone.

Our house was a complete wreck this morning because yesterday was so full that we didn't even have time to pick things up before bed. I could have grumbled about it this morning, but instead I'm going to choose to be grateful that yesterday I got to have lunch at school with my nine-year-old baby girl on her birthday, watch my oldest son march in his first high school homecoming parade, have dinner with all four of my kids and my husband (a rare thing on Wednesdays!), make two blankets with my daughter at our church outreach program, and worship with a great group of people while we rehearsed for Sunday morning.

Jesus said, "I have come to bring you abundant life." He has certainly given me an abundance of every part of life, and today I will be grateful for every ounce.

The Moment That Changes Everything

2015-10-02T08:33:00.000-05:00

There are moments in history that define each one of us, moments that completely change the course of our lives. Whether they are marked by a decision or an event or an encounter, our lives look drastically different than they did the moment before.

Think about the day you got married or the day you held your child for the first time, about how much your life changed that day. Life would never be the same from that point, would it? Good or bad, there was no going back to life as it was before.

Think about life before 9/11. What was life like on September 10^th, 2001? Very different than September 12^th, for sure.

One event, and the course of an entire nation was re-routed.

One moment and everything changed.

One moment of weakness, one swallowed lie, one bite of forbidden fruit. Sin found its way into humanity and the world was changed forever.

One choice by a man named Cain to bring not the best and first of his crops – just “some” – to make an offering to his Creator. The choice to keep the best for himself and make an offering not out of faith in God to provide, but rather an offering out of the leftovers. The choice to stand proudly before God, angry that his offering wasn’t found acceptable, rather than submit in humility and repentance.

This choice would change Cain’s life drastically. The anger that began as a small seed that day grew in his heart like the wheat that he had sown in his field. It matured into full-grown hatred, strong enough to lead him to murder his own brother. Again, when given the opportunity by God to confess his wrongdoing, he stood proudly and defiantly before his Maker and confessed nothing

And so the consequence: the once highly successful farmer would no longer be able to coax even the scantest crop from the ground, and instead would spend the rest of his days a wanderer. His family, too, would be sentenced to wander with him. No home, no livelihood. Just wandering.

But the effects of Cain’s choices didn’t end with him or his immediate family. Several generations later, one of Cain’s offspring would become himself a murderer and proudly claim a promise God had made to Cain as his own. It started with one choice, but the ripples of that choice continued to spread.

How different would Cain’s life have been had he chosen that day to bring the first and best of his crops as an offering? Or if, when God disapproved of the offering, he had reacted with humility or remorse? How would his story have gone then?

Maybe there is a moment in your own life that very distinctly divides it into “before” and “after.” Maybe it was put there by your own choice, or perhaps it was handed to you by someone else. Regardless, it changed your story. There’s no going back, no matter how much you wish you could.

One moment and everything changed.

But there is another moment in history that can change your story again. Oh, it won’t undo what has already been done; it won’t erase history. But it will rob your history of its power to dictate your future. Indeed, it will redeem your history and make your story one of beauty and grace.

I’m talking, of course, about Jesus. About the moment that he stepped back out of the grave and crushed the power of sin and death. Forever. I’m talking about that moment when you encountered Him – or will encounter Him – and He began to re-write your story.

One moment with Jesus and your life will never be the same.

Will it be 9/11 kind of change? Probably not in the world’s eyes. But to you…yeah, it’s that big. The difference, my friend, is that instead of looking back with nostalgia or regret or sadness, you’ll be looking to the future with anticipation, hope and joy.

Jesus. He changes everything.

And what a wonderful thing it is when He does.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Press On

2015-07-22T09:42:00.000-05:00

Hello, friend. How's your walk going this summer? Is there a spring in your step and a song on your lips? Are you walking side-by-side with the Spirit, enjoying His company as you walk, taking your cues from Him? That is such a sweet and joyous place to be, even if the road you're traveling is a little rocky.

Or are you weary and worn out from your journey, beaten up by the storms you have weathered recently? Have the demands of the journey sapped your strength and squelched your desire to keep going? Have you lost sight of the Spirit, leaving you feeling lost and ready to give up?

Oh, my friend, if this is where you are, let me encourage you with a piece of Scripture that the Lord has pressed upon my heart these last few months. For I have walked where you are now walking. I have felt in my bones and in the deepest part of my being the weariness that you now feel. I have known what it is like to be discouraged to the point of giving up, to feel as though I have given every ounce of what I had to give.

I, like you, have been worn out, lost and hopeless.

Praise God that He has promised never to leave us, never to abandon us! And praise Him all the more that He is a God who keeps His promises!

EVERY. TIME.

Here is the promise He led me to, the promise I have clung to and that has become my anchor these past few months:

Hosea 6:3 ~

Acknowledge the Lord.

Press on to acknowledge Him. (italics mine)

As surely as the sun rises in the east, He will appear.

He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.

"Acknowledge the Lord. Press on to acknowledge Him." In the midst of our trials, our weariness, we must continue to acknowledge the Lord. To confess with our lips that he is GOD, the King of Kings, the Ruler of all. To live in obedience to His leading. Even when our hearts don't want to join in, we must continue to acknowledge Him.

But it won't be easy.

Why else would there be a need to "press on to acknowledge Him?" To press on: to keep going even when we think we can't. To muscle our way through the exhaustion. To keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when our legs are aching and weak.

I used to be a jogger. I loved to go out for a two or three mile (sometimes more!) jog. Some days were hard, though, and I would hit a point where I didn't think I could go another ten feet, let alone another mile. It was like I hit an invisible wall that was trying to press me backwards. But I learned to keep pushing - to press on - and break through that wall. I almost always ended up going farther than I thought was possible.

"Pressing on" is not easy. To press on in our faith we must be intentional. We have to choose to continue to acknowledge God. We have to do it on purpose. It will require energy that we think we don't have. It will require that we refocus our thoughts so they dwell on who God is rather than our circumstances. To "press on" is hard work.

But here is the promise that follows this difficult instruction: "As surely as the sun rises in the east, He will appear. He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth."

Press on and you will see God. Press on and He will appear. He will not stay hidden - you can count on it, just as surely as you can count on the sun coming up in the east!

God WILL appear!

And when He does, He will bring refreshment to your life just as the rain brings refreshment to the earth.

No, more than that - He will bring renewal. He will bring LIFE. Just as the rain brings life to the seemingly dead plants in springtime, so will God bring LIFE to your weary soul.

He will come, and He will bring new life. That's a promise you can cling to, a promise that you can anchor your faith to. It is a promise God will keep.

Last spring I was led to this verse as I prepared to teach at a women's tea at a local church. I loved the verse and what it promised, but little did I know that God would prove Himself true to this promise in the months to come. I had no idea how desperately I would need this promise. I still marvel at how God works to provide for His children, how He planted that verse in my head well in advance of the time I would need it as an anchor in my heart.

My family has experienced some circumstances this summer that truly tested our faith. They pushed us to the point of mental, emotional and spiritual weariness where we felt as though our feet were made of lead and we were unable to drag them forward for even one more step. But in those days and weeks, God reminded me of Hosea 6:3, (in fact, it rarely left my mind!) and my husband and I - on behalf of our family - continued to press on in our faith.

Still, we are continuing to press on. But let me tell you, we have begun to see the Son rising in our home! The Spirit has begun to reign in our family and we see evidence of new life in every corner!

God is faithful, my friend. Be encouraged today as you press on to acknowledge Him, that He is a God who is true to His Word. Keep pressing on and know that "as surely as the sun rises in the east, He WILL appear."

The Playdough Principle: Five (Short) Lessons On How To Be Playdough

2015-06-15T20:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I introduced you to "The Playdough Principle," the idea that when we face adversity, we should be moldable (like playdough) and allow God to use those difficult circumstances to shape us into His own image.

But how do we allow ourselves to be clay in the hands of our Father? How do we make ourselves soft and pliable in His hands?

To understand that, I want to turn to a story in the Old Testament about a trio of men named Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. We find their story in Daniel 3. Now, these men were Jews living in exile in Babylon. God has blessed them and their fellow Israelite, Daniel, so that they have been appointed to high positions under King Nebuchadnezzar. The King is so highly impressed with himself that he has erected a ninety foot tall statue of himself, and he has ordered that everyone in the kingdom must bow down and worship it. But these God-fearing men refused to bow down to anyone other than God, even under threat of execution. When questioned by the king, this was their reply (found in verses 16-18): “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”

So, lesson number one from these men: We must be steadfast in our dedication to the Lord. Hebrews 12:2 says “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…” When hard times come your way, you may be tempted to do a couple of things: You may want to blame God, or you may start thinking that perhaps He is not as all-powerful as you once believed. Those two are very deep issues that take a lot of digging to deal with. But trust me in this, we are shown over and over in Scripture that God has power above all and over all, and He is a compassionate God whose desire is not to harm you, but to help you grow into the likeness of His Son. James 1:13-15 reminds us that God does NOT tempt us, so don’t allow yourself to be swayed into that sort of thinking, either. Instead, keep your eyes, your heart and your mind focused on Jesus. Immerse yourself in God’s Word and plant it in your heart so that when the enemy tries to pull you away from Christ, you will remain steadfast in your faith. Do not let the enemy bully you or frighten you into turning away from God.

Lesson number two: We must be intentional in our obedience to God. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were not nonchalant in any way as they refused to worship Nebuchadnezzar’s idol, nor did they hope to just “fly under the radar.” They were prominent men in Babylon, so they lived their lives in the public eye and were intentional in their obedience to God’s command not to worship any god but Himself. We, too, must be purposeful in searching out and obeying God’s directions for us. When you’re in the middle of adversity, ask yourself, “What does God want me to learn from this? How does He want me to react?” And then do your very best to be obedient to what He reveals to you. Sometimes – many times – that means choosing to act in direct opposition to our instinct or to what our flesh cries out for. Perhaps you have been hurt deeply by a friend or a loved one, maybe even your spouse. Everything in you tells you to lash out at them and hurt them in retaliation, but the Spirit is guiding you to forgive. Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with the Lord, doubting His presence in your life and you really just want to walk away. Instead, you continue to pick up your Bible and read His Word simply out of obedience. Maybe there’s a temptation in your life that you really, really want to cave in to, and you have to make a choice – to yield to the Spirit or give in to the flesh. We must be intentional in our obedience to God.

Lesson number three: TRUST. Boy, this can be a hard one. We have been taught not to trust anyone other than ourselves, because eventually, in one way or another, everyone else will let us down. But we serve a God who will NEVER let us down. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Romans 8:31-39 says, “…If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

We can TRUST God, the same way that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego trusted God. They boldly stated their faith in Him when they told Nebuchadnezzar that even if he should throw them in the fiery furnace, God would rescue them. And they were steadfast enough in that faith that they knew He was still the One, True God even if He chose NOT to rescue them. (Dan 3:17-18)

Lesson number four: Recognize that God is with us in the midst of our trials. When our three friends in Babylon refused to bow down to the king’s statue, Ole Nebby flew into a rage. He ordered the heat of the furnace to be intensified seven times hotter than normal. It was so hot that the soldiers who threw Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the furnace were killed themselves, just standing next to the entrance. But when King Nebby looked into the furnace, he was quite surprised to see the three men standing unharmed and accompanied by a fourth! It is believed by many scholars that this fourth man was Jesus, Himself! God is with us, even amidst our troubles! I want you to notice that God didn’t come to rescue Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego BEFORE they were thrown into the fire. He didn’t come to keep them out of the fire, but to go through the fire with them. God doesn’t promise to keep us out of the fire, but He has given us His Spirit, who lives in us and is our constant companion, to walk with us through the fire. In John 14:16-17, Jesus tells His followers this: “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth.”

Take a minute and picture God's hand wrapped tightly around you. Not just holding your hand, but all of you. You are safe there. No matter what happens, God will never let go of you, neither on purpose nor by accident. You can never "slip" from His grasp, and He will never intentionally let you fall. Nor can any circumstance pull you from His grip. You are completely safe.

Now, picture yourself holding on to a rope that is fraying and about to break, torn to shreds by the trials in your life. In fact, it is holding on only by a thread, and you are desperately trying to cling to the rope, hoping against hope that it will hold up under your weight. Now, look down and see that you are resting securely in the palm of God's hand. Sometimes we are so desperately afraid of falling and we are trying so hard to hold ourselves up that we don't realize we just need to let go and trust God to hold on to us. Sure, the trials will come and they will be bitter. But God's hand will always be there. And He's a BIG God; He cannot be tumbled by the trials of this world. Of that you can be sure.

I want you to see one other thing. Notice that the hand that holds you bears the scar of a deep wound. The hand that holds you belongs to a God who loves you so completely that He would stop at nothing, even death on a cross, to rescue you. The hand that holds you is that of a God who has suffered just as we have -- physically, emotionally, relationally -- and understands what it means to stare death in the face. The hand that holds you is steady and strong, yet compassionate and caring. In it you can place your whole trust and find the solace that your soul longs for. Friend, when you belong to Jesus, you are safe. Always. Even when the world around you is a fiery furnace of trials.

Lesson number five: Rest assured that God will use our trials for His glory. When Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stepped out of the furnace unharmed, the king was absolutely amazed to see that not even a hair on their head was singed. As a result, he began to praise God throughout his kingdom, and he even promoted the three men to higher positions of authority. When you allow God to bring you through a fiery situation and you hold steadfastly to your faith in Him, other people WILL notice. Not only will you be changed, but your witness may bring salvation into the life of others. How awesome is that!

So…we want to be Playdough, not elastic. We want our trials to stretch us, but not just leave us unchanged. We want to be stretched and molded into the image of God’s Son. In order to be Playdough, we need to work to attain these characteristics: We must be steadfast in our faith; we must be intentional in our obedience to God’s instructions for us; we must allow ourselves to trust God, knowing that He will never fail us; we must recognize that God is with us even in the middle of our hard times; and we can rest on the fact that God will use our trials for His glory. Be Playdough, my friends, and let God use the adversity in your life to make you into the perfect image of His Son.

The Playdough Principle: Finding Purpose In Adversity

2015-06-14T21:24:00.000-05:00

When you became a follower of Christ, experiencing trials was probably not at the top of your list of expectations. We often talk of the peace and the hope and the strength that comes from our relationship with Him, but we forget to acknowledge some hardships that we will endure because of – or sometimes “in spite of” -- our faith. Jesus warned his disciples in John 16:33 that “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows,” but he reassured them by adding, “but take heart, because I have overcome the world.” So we know without a doubt that we WILL face some hard times, even as Christians. What separates us from the world is not a lack of hardship, but how we face and respond to that trouble.

The way I see it, we’ve got a couple of choices when it comes to responding to adversity. One, we can allow it to break us. We can blame God for our troubles and turn our backs on him while we sit and lick our wounds. Or, two, we can allow God to use those experiences to mold us and shape us into the people he wants us to be.

James 1:2-4 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” Our trials, no matter how big or small, provide an opportunity for our faith to grow. Indeed, without those opportunities, what would produce strength and endurance in our faith?

I remember a few summers ago I attempted for the first time ever to grow tomatoes. I do NOT have a green thumb, so to speak, but I was doing my best to grow a little vegetable garden in my back yard. That summer was especially hot and dry. My tomato plants were doing quite splendidly as far as plants go, but they weren’t producing any tomatoes. In fact, they weren’t even budding out. My mom advised me to go out with a stick and literally beat the plants, saying that they needed that distress in order to grow the way they’re supposed to. So I did – I felt a little silly – and eventually my plants started to grow fruit.

Sometimes we, too, need to experience times of distress in order for our lives as Christ-followers to begin to produce fruit.

Sometimes when we talk about faith and about how to deal with difficult times, we use the word "resilient" to describe the characteristic that we're working toward. To be resilient means that when adversity strikes, we can be stretched and twisted and pressed in, and yet we are not broken. It means that we can “bounce back” from trials and not be destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 describes this perfectly: “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” Yes, resilience seems to be the perfect description of a quality that we must have in the midst of adversity.

However, as I think about that word, I feel like maybe it falls a little short. You see, the idea of being resilient conjures in my mind the picture of a piece of elastic. You can stretch it and stretch it, and for the most part it will return back to its original state. You can stretch it over and over, and still it pops right back to where it used to be. And I wonder, is that the kind of person I need to be? When I am stretched by the trials of life, do I want to simply return to the place I started before I encountered those trials? My answer to that – as I hope is yours – is “no.” If my trials and struggles leave me exactly where I was when I started, then they have served no purpose. And if my trials serve no purpose, then I want nothing of them.

If the passage from James that we read earlier is true, and I am to consider my trials an opportunity to find joy, then those trials MUST serve a purpose.

We want to keep this idea of elasticity and pliability. We don’t want our trials to simply break us; we want to allow ourselves to be stretched by them. But we don’t want to just “bounce back,” either. So instead of thinking of ourselves as elastic, let’s think about ourselves as Playdough. Playdough is soft, somewhat stretchable, and certainly pliable. With just a gentle squeeze, you can easily shape it however your imagination leads you, and when you let go, it stays the way you left it.

We, too, should be somewhat stretchable and pliable, and when difficulties come our way, we should allow our Heavenly Father to use those experiences to shape us into the people He wants us to be. We may start as a simple lump of clay in His hands, yet unformed into anything recognizable. And then difficult times come, and He begins to press in on us, changing us. That experience passes, and we notice we have been shaped into something new. And then another difficulty comes our way, perhaps several at the same time, even, and God begins to use those experiences to change us into yet a different form. Time after time throughout our life we confront trials, and when we allow God to use those experiences to mold us instead of allowing them to make our hearts hard or bitter, we ever so slowly begin to resemble Christ Himself, each experience shaping us a little more into His image.

In this, our trials have great purpose.

Tomorrow: Five (Short) Lessons on How To Be Playdough

Finding Your Way Out of the Desert

2015-04-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

I grew up in a little farm town in South Central Kansas. Even so, deep down I'm a city girl. Maybe not "big city," but certainly not "roughing it in the wild," either. I was even a Girl Scout for most of my elementary school years. Still, I'd rather sleep under a ceiling fan than the stars and go swimming in the city pool rather than the river.

If I ever truly got lost in the wilderness, I'd be sunk.

Fortunately, surviving a spiritual desert doesn't involve lighting a fire with no matches or using the position of the sun to figure out which direction I'm going.

It does, however, involve a huge amount of persistence and tenacity.

For the past couple of days we've talked about different reasons we might end up in a spiritual desert. Tonight I want to give you some practical steps you can take when you're in such a place that will help you to find your way out with your faith intact.

First, like I wrote in The Desert of Bad Choices, you have to find out if it is your own sin that has driven you into the desert. It's like ruling out an empty gas tank in your car before you decide the engine is broken. You have to start there, or nothing else you do will ever help you move forward. So start by asking God if there is any unconfessed sin that stands between you and Him. If He reveals anything to you, confess it and receive His forgiveness. I believe you will never fully experience God's healing waters until you do.

The next instruction I would offer is this: Keep acknowledging God as your Lord. Even when you don't have that emotional pull, that desire rooted in your heart to worship Him, do it anyway. Call upon your head knowledge and your previous experience that tells you God is who He says He is, even if your heart doesn't agree for the time being.

Hosea 6:3 says this:

"Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth."

"Let us press on to acknowledge Him..." This is where that tenacity comes in. Sometimes acknowledging God in our most desolate times take intentionality and hard work. But when we continue to faithfully acknowledge God as the Lord of our hearts and our minds and our souls and even our bodies - Lord of all that we are and all that we do - even when we aren't experiencing emotional closeness with Him, we will eventually see Him. And when we find Him, we will find refreshment and rejuvenation just as the earth feels when the spring rains shower down on it.

Press on to acknowledge the Lord.

Keep seeking the Lord. Don't give up and decide that He is not to be found.

David, the one called a man after God's own heart, experienced desert times. He wrote in Psalm 61:1

"You, God are my God, earnestly I seek You. I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water."

David's soul was thirsty for God's presence, and so he was earnestly seeking Him.

Be persistent as you keep seeking the Lord.

One way you can do this is by continuing in your spiritual disciplines. Keep your habit of reading the Bible, praying, meditating, fasting, meeting together with believers. If you haven't established these habits, now is a great time to start! Let the habit bridge the gap between those times when your heart feels fully invested. It may feel as if things become a little more ritual than heartfelt - even a bit like you're just going through the motions. But the fact that you are continuing in the practice of nourishing yourself spiritually will keep you from withering and wasting away in the heat of your spiritual desert.

Continue to give God praise, even when you feel distant from Him. Go back to Psalm 61. Immediately after David declared that His soul was parched with thirst for God, He wrote this:

"I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the riches of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You."

Even when David felt distant from the God he was seeking, he continued to sing praises. He recalled the things God had revealed to him. He reminded himself of the goodness of God.

And last, focus your heart and your mind on Jesus rather than your circumstances. Ask Him over and over to be the light that leads you out of the wilderness. Join with David in this prayer, found in Psalm 43:3-4 -

"Send out Your light and Your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You live. There I will go to the altar of God, to God - the source of all my joy. I will praise You with my harp O God, my God!"

Jesus said in John 8:12, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

And in John 14:6 He said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

And don't forget Jesus' promise in John 4:14 - "Those who drink the water I give them will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life."

Jesus is the Truth that we can cling to when we feel lost in a spiritual desert. He is the way to the Father, He is the pillar that will lead us out of darkness and into the light of our Father's presence. He is the One that will give us that eternal, life-giving spring of water welling up and overflowing in us.

Deserts are pretty awful places to be, on foot and in spirit. When we're in a spiritual desert, we long for those mountain-top experiences. We long to feel the closeness of God, to overflow with the joy of His presence.

But I believe it is in the desert where our character is truly shaped into that which more closely resembles His. It is there that we learn to trust Him regardless of what our emotions tell us. It is there that we learn to depend on Him for every ounce of nourishment. It is in the desert that we learn to work hard in our pursuit of Him, and it is only by experiencing the desert that we fully understand and appreciate the cooling refreshment that His Spirit brings.

Deserts are inevitable, but not fatal. When you find yourself in the middle of a spiritual desert, don't give up. Keep seeking God, and trust that He will carry you through to the other side where you can sink in to the coolness of His Spirit and enjoy the refreshment that only He can bring.

In the Desert Part 2: The Desert of Adversity

2015-04-28T18:00:00.000-05:00

Hello again, my friend. I'm so glad you came back to walk with me another day. This week we're talking about Deserts on My Heart. If you're joining us for the first time, you might want to head over to this post: Deserts. Or if you missed yesterday's post, you can find it here: The Desert of Bad Choices.

Today we're going to take the heat off of ourselves for a bit and look at how sometimes we end up in a spiritual desert not because of our own choices, but because of the actions of someone or something else.

People - often people we love and trust - hurt us, betray us, anger us, disappoint us. And in the midst of these hurtful circumstances, we can sometimes find ourselves feeling cut off from God, left to deal with life on our own.

I'd like you to meet one of my favorite minor characters in the Old Testament. I adore her story because she gave God a name that has become very dear to me: The God Who Sees Me. Her name is Hagar. She was the maidservant of Sarai and she was pushed into the desert by her mistress not once in her lifetime, but twice.

You see, Sarai was promised that she and her husband Abram would have a son that would one day become a great nation. The problem was that Sarai was barren. No babies in her foreseeable future. And rather than wait on God to fulfill His promise in His own way, Sarai took matters into her own hands. She offered her maidservant, Hagar, to Abram and told him to sire a child with her.

After the child was conceived, Hagar began to resent her mistress.

Can you blame her? She didn't choose to be Abram's wife; Sarai didn't bother to ask Hagar before she gave her to Abram. And yet she was forced to conceive and carry this child.

And then there was Sarai... She had her own basket full of resentment! I think as she watched the belly of her maidservant swell with the child that should have been her own, Sarai began to despise the young woman. Every milestone in Hagar's pregnancy must have been a harsh reminder of her own barrenness. Resentment and hatred must have grown in Sarai as she watched - in her estimation - the promise God had made to her come to fruition in the womb of another woman.

And so the Scripture says that Sarai mistreated Hagar until the servant girl fled to the desert. An angel of the Lord found her there and spoke to her, and it was then that Hagar gave God the name El Roi, the God Who Sees Me, because He saw her in the wilderness and spoke to her there. He made a promise to her that her son would be the father of a great nation himself, and He sent her back to Abram and Sarai.

Now fast forward thirteen or fourteen years. Hagar had returned to her mistress and had given birth to Ishmael who was now a young teenager. God had visited Abram and made a covenant with him, changing his name to Abraham and Sarai's to Sarah. He had fulfilled His promise to bring them a son, and Sarah bore Isaac. Isaac was old enough to be weaned so his father held a great feast of celebration. Ishmael, being the shining example of a fourteen year old boy, began to mock his little brother, and Sarah witnessed it.

And boy, do you wanna talk about mad! You do NOT mess with Mama's little man! Finally, after watching her husband interact with that other boy for more than a decade, she had a son of her own and she certainly would not tolerate such behavior. So she marched herself over to Abraham and demanded that the boy and his mother be sent away.

I picture Abraham taking a deep breath as his wife ranted, and then letting it out in a long, slow sigh as he watched her stomp away in a huff. And then sadly, he turned to go find his firstborn son and the boy's mother and tell them they had to leave.

Early the next morning, he gave Hagar and Ishmael some food and water and sent them on their way. They wandered in the desert of Beersheba until their supply of water was gone. Unable to watch her son wither and die, Hagar sat him down under a bush and walked far enough away that she couldn't see him and sat down herself. She began to weep as she realized they were both going to die.

We do that too, don't we? When life gets too overwhelming, when we can't seem to find our way out of the desert? When we're hurt and alone and feeling abandoned? I know I have days like that.

But do you know what? God didn't leave Hagar and Ishmael to die in the desert. He heard them crying and He called out to them. Even though they weren't crying out to Him - they were just wallowing in their sorrow - He heard them and He cared for them. He spoke to them. The first time God spoke to Hagar in the desert, she named Him El Roi. I think the second time God spoke to her in the desert, she recognized the voice of her El Roi and she knew she was safe in His care, even in the wilderness. And when He told her to get up and go back to her son, she didn't argue or tell Him why it was no use. She simply obeyed.

And it was then that God opened her eyes so she could see the water well He had provided, full of life-giving water to sustain herself and her son.

Sometimes we are sentenced to spend time in the desert not because of our own sins or our own wanderings, but because someone or something else pushes us there. Perhaps a spouse betrays us, a child rebels, a friend gossips. Maybe someone we love lost their life far too soon, or we lost a job and don't know how we'll put food on the table. Maybe someone we looked up to as a spiritual leader betrayed us.

Or if you're like me, maybe the pressures of life just get so burdensome that you can't find a way out from under them.

So many painful circumstances that we endure in our lifetime can push us to a place where we feel alone, separated from God.

Hopeless.

Be we, like Hagar, are never alone in the desert, even if we can't hear or feel the presence of God. We are never without hope. Isaiah 41:17 says,

"The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus. I will give them fountains of water in the valleys. I will fill the desert with pools of water. Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground."

Hagar survived her time in the desert because God provided for her, and He will do the same for us. When we listen for His voice and obey when He speaks, God is faithful to provide. He will flood our thirsty souls with His presence and satisfy our longing for Him.

Jesus said in John 4:14, "Those who drink the water I give them will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." When we find ourselves in a spiritual desert, we can trust that Jesus will provide His life-giving water for our souls. We can know that He won't allow us to wither and die in the heat of the sun.

There is a God Who Sees Us, an El Roi, who will rescue us in the desert. Trust Him. Know you are safe with Him. Wait for Him.

Tomorrow, we get practical and talk about some things we can do to find our way out of a spiritual desert. Hope you'll come back and talk with me some more!

In the Desert Part 1: The Desert of Bad Choices

2015-04-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we talked about spiritual deserts, about how sometimes our faith begins to look a little like the Sahara. (If you missed it, start here: Deserts.)

A spiritual desert is a pretty difficult place to be, and one that we'd rather pass through as quickly as possible. It's certainly not a place we'd like to linger.

Let me give you fair warning: the way out of the desert is not often an easy road to tread.

But it is a road that you will be glad you traveled once you're back in the mountains.

So let's put on our walking shoes and get moving.

When we find ourselves lost in a spiritual desert, I believe there's one place that we have to start or we will never find our way out. We have to start with ourselves.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a spiritual desert because of our own bad choices. Our own sin. While it is true that nothing in all of creation can come between us and God, I do believe that our sin can. Sin stands as a barrier between our hearts and God, preventing fellowship and communion with Him. Until we remove that barrier, nothing we do or say will ever move us out of the desert. Sin will instead sentence us to wander in the desert, unable to experience the live-giving presence of God and the blessings He has planned for us.

We see this most clearly demonstrated in the book of Numbers. After rescuing the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and proving His power by defeating the Egyptian army, God asked that one man from each tribe of Israel spy out the land He promised to give them. He promised that He would enable and equip His people to conquer Canaan and it's ungodly inhabitants, and yet ten of the spies came back and convinced the people that what God had promised them they could do, could not in fact be done.

The people even went so far as to cry out that they wished they could return to Egypt. After God rescued them there!

And so, because of their sin, God made His chosen people wander in the desert for forty years. Numbers 14:34 record these words spoken by God to the people of Israel: "For forty years...you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you." In Numbers 32 we read that the entire generation of people had to die before any of God's people were allowed out of the desert.

The good news is that we aren't sentenced to die in the wilderness like the Israelites. Acts 3:19 tells us that when we repent of our sins, when we confess them before God, they will be wiped away. Literally, they will be erased. Gone. No trace of them left.

And once we have repented of our sins and they have been wiped away, the Scripture says the Lord will bring us a time of refreshment. The Greek word for refreshment (anapsyxis) carries with it the idea of relief of cooling.

Like sitting down in your air-conditioned living room with a glass of iced tea or lemonade after spending a hot July afternoon in your garden.

Ahhh... Can you feel it? How good it feels to get out of the sun and to feel that cool air on your face?

Not only does God erase the sin that stands between us and Him, but He also provides relief from the heat of the desert sun. He soothes our parched souls with the water of His presence.

Pretty amazing, don't you think?

So the first thing we need to do when we find ourselves in this figurative desert is to ask God if there is any unconfessed sin in our life that is standing between us and Him, and then listen to what He says in response. He might show us in the form of a picture or a memory, or He might speak words that seem nearly audible. Maybe He'll speak directly to our heart. However He tells us, once He reveals any sin in our life, we must confess it to Him. We need to confess our desire to have that sin removed from us and ask Him to receive it.

Don't wander in the desert because you don't want to own up to your own bad choices. Don't let guilt or pride or stubbornness convince you to hold on to your sins. Confess them before the Lord! I believe you will never fully experience God's healing waters until you do this.

See, I warned you that this might not be an easy road to walk. But hang with me, my friend, because it will be worth every step. In the end, when you can sink into the coolness of God's presence and rest your weary soul, you will be ever so glad you took this journey.

Tomorrow: The Desert of Adversity

Deserts

2015-04-26T21:11:00.000-05:00

When I think of a desert, I usually picture something like this:

Or maybe something like this:

No matter which desert you're thinking of, one thing is consistent: deserts are dry. Whether they're hot or cold (yes, I learned that there are even cold deserts!), sandy or rocky, in Africa or North America, every desert on this earth is dry.

But have you ever thought that sometimes a desert looks more like this?

In this kind of desert it is a person's soul that is dry rather than the climate. It is a place where we find ourselves beaten by the winds of discouragement and scorched by the cruelty of our world. It is a place where we thirst for renewal and refreshment in God's presence, but sometimes we just can't seem to find Him.

A spiritual desert is a difficult place to be, and if you've ever found yourself in one you know that life can start to feel a little hopeless.

As if you will die of thirst before it is ever quenched.

King David knew what it was like to be in a desert. He wrote these words in Psalm 61:1 --

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

Can you relate? Do you know what it feels like for your spirit to be parched with thirst for His presence?

I know I do. I know I've had times when God has seemed so very distant, where it feels like I can't take one more step without Him and yet no matter how hard I try, my heart can't find Him.

Hopeless.

And yet I am able to write this today because God has proven again and again that we are never, ever without hope. No matter how desolate life feels, our God still reigns. Even when we feel so very distant from our Heavenly Father, we can be assured that we will never be completely separated from Him. Romans 8:35-39 assures us that nothing in all of creation can separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus. And when our spirits long for the cooling water of His presence, we can draw on His promise in Isaiah 43:20 ~ I will make rivers in the dry wasteland where my people can be refreshed.

A spiritual desert does not have to be a place where our faith shrivels and dies.

Instead, it can be a place where our faith is made stronger, where our character is shaped more fully into that of our Father. A place we learn to work hard in our pursuit of God.

Over the next few days I'm going to share a couple of posts with you that talk about spiritual deserts. We're going to talk about why we end up there, and how we can find our way out safely on the other side. I hope you will journey with me.

See you tomorrow.

Marathon Parenting

2015-04-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time I was working my way toward becoming a long distance runner. After the birth of my fourth child I decided it was time to get in shape, and my best friend convinced me to start running with her. Eventually she convinced me to run a 5K race with her. I thought she was crazy, but I agreed to do it and so we started training.

The first few weeks of training were miserable. We would start to jog and immediately my lungs would start screaming at me. With gasping breaths I begged Kathy to let me stop. But she wouldn't do it. She pushed me to make it to the end of the block, and then to the next mailbox. Every day the goals got a little farther apart and she pushed me to run a little bit harder. After what felt like months (but was probably only weeks) she was cheering me on as I finished my first mile. Soon we were running side by side on the treadmills at the gym and I was the one encouraging her to go one more minute, to finish one more quarter mile. By the time we ran the 5K, she urged me to run on without her, and I completed the 3.1 miles several minutes ahead of her. One thing is for sure: I could never have accomplished any of it without her support.

Training for that race was hard work. It was exhausting and painful, and sometimes I just wanted to give up.

I've been thinking this week how much my job as a parent is like training for that race.

It's exhausting and it's certainly not easy. Sometimes it's discouraging and downright heartbreaking. There are times when I pray with desperate, gasping breaths, begging God for a break. Times when I am weary and feel unable to take one more step, let alone go another mile.

And God reminds me: this race we're running, it's not just a 5K. The finish line is not waiting three miles down the road.

No, the race we're running as parents is definitely a marathon. And lest I become even more discouraged, He reminded me of this:

...but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

~Isaiah 40:31

The hardest work of parenting, I think, isn't teaching my children the difference between right or wrong, or even teaching them to be nice to their siblings. The most difficult part of parenting is consistently and diligently shaping their character so that it reflects the character of God. It is enforcing Godly boundaries even when my children don't seem to respond with anything but disdain for me when I do. It is waiting on God and trusting Him to form the hearts of these precious young people in His own time.

I want the race to be over after just a few miles, with a quick sprint to the finish line.

God says it takes a lifetime.

I don't think I can run this race.

But God says I can, and here's how:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~ Hebrews 12:1-3

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. ~ Hebrews 10:23

When Kathy and I first began training for our race, she would pick out a mailbox or a street sign down the road and push me to make it at least that far. As I was running I would fix my gaze on that goal, determined to make it without giving up. That goal - that mailbox or sign post - gave me hope. Without it, I stared ahead at what seemed like an endless road that I knew I couldn't conquer.

Jesus is my goal, my hope in this parenting marathon. When I'm feeling overwhelmed by the road ahead of me, it's because I've taken my eyes off of Him and focused instead on the challenges and difficulties of being a parent. When I am weary and want to quit, it's time to realign my heart and mind so that they are fixed on my Savior. In Him I will find the energy and strength to press forward. He is my hope that I will make it to the finish line, and He will be faithful to see me through.

I'm no marathon runner. In fact, I'm not even a 5K runner any more. But I am the parent of four very special people who need me to press on in this race. Even if they don't understand or appreciate how I'm running it, they need me to keep on.

And so I will continue putting one foot in front of the other, eyes and heart fixed on Jesus, determined to go the distance.

Love...With All Your Heart

2015-03-18T10:35:00.001-05:00

If you're new to the blog, take a minute to hop over and read the introduction to this post: Crock-Pot Marriage

It seems a little ironic to me that I would start my "Love..." series with this topic, what with my declaration of how much I despise manufactured mushy, lovey feelings. (No clue what I'm talking about? Take a quick detour and read what I have against Valentine's Day.)

But since the heart is really the first place we go to talk about love, it seems only fitting. And the whole basis for this series, Mark 12:30, starts with the heart so I figure it's best to do the same.

Love...with all your heart.

At first glance, it seems that the idea of loving someone with all your heart would be a simple thing. Loving is something we do naturally, from the time we are small children. It seems that the need to love and be loved was woven into the core of who we are as humans.

And why wouldn't it be? After all, we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and God is, Himself, love. (1 John 4:7-8)

And yet, love is this mystical feeling that we really don't seem to have much control over and can't even really describe. All we know is that sometimes it makes us want to sing, and other times it makes us want to cry. It makes us long to be around the person we love and to pull them close and hold them tight. It compels us to do things for someone else that we never imagined ourselves doing.

Oh, this wonderful thing we call love!

And when we first began to feel this amazing feeling for the person who is now our spouse, it turned our world upside down. We couldn't imagine anything ever changing the way we felt. Nothing could ever taint this perfect, beautiful, glorious LOVE we were feeling.

(If you're a newlywed, you may even feel that way about your spouse this very moment. Take a minute or two and just bask in the warmth of that deliciously wonderful feeling!)

While the newlyweds are basking, the rest of us are going to take a stroll ahead to the reality of life a few years after the wedding. Let's face it, it doesn't matter how wonderful your marriage is, there are just some days that are a little less

and a little more

Emotions - feelings - are fickle things, affected by so many variables. The weather, lack of sleep, hormones, the children... Some days we're feeling the love and some days... well, let's just say we're not feeling it. If someone were to ask us, "do you love your spouse?" of course we would answer with a resounding, "yes!" But if we were asked, "how do you feel about him right now?" I daresay that sometimes it would be difficult to answer quite so enthusiastically.

Would you be shocked if I told you that loving your spouse with all your heart actually has very little to do with how you feel?

God has loved us - His most precious creation - with all of His heart. He loves us so much that first He gave us His Son: a living, breathing, walking, talking personification of Himself. And then He called Jesus back to His presence so that He could send something better: His Holy Spirit. (See John 16:7) The Comforter, the Helper. A part of Himself that could live in each one of His children, that would allow us to constantly live in His presence. And Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that when the Holy Spirit lives in us, we begin to see things like love and joy and peace and patience begin to show up in our lives. Each one of these Fruits of the Spirit are somehow connected with an emotion, with our heart.

God has loved us with His heart by giving of Himself in order to take care of our hearts.

And now it is our turn to love our spouses with our hearts by taking care of theirs.

This means we've got to start by finding out what their hearts need. Perhaps your spouse follows the pattern described by Paul in Ephesians 5:33, where he instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. Why would he give such instructions? Because most women need to feel loved and most men need to feel respected! Sure, it's not true for absolutely everyone across the board, but you'll never know unless you seek out your spouse's heart and discover for yourself what he or she needs. In addition, you've got to discover what it means to love your wife or respect your husband from their perspective.

Respect is incredibly important to my husband. I can tell him that I love him all day long, but if I don't show him respect, especially in our home and around our children, he doesn't feel loved. I've known this for a good long time. But I realized a while back that I didn't completely understand what it means to show him respect. I had my own definition, but I had never bothered to ask Scott what he perceived as respect, or especially the lack thereof. Unless I understand what he perceives as respect, I will never be able to give it to him. And so I asked him.

It's so very much easier to communicate with someone if you know what language they speak.

Now I am trying to learn to speak "Respect" in Scott's language. There are times when it is honestly really hard and it requires some self-sacrifice. There are even some times when I think it's beyond what I am capable of doing. (Mostly that means keeping my mouth shut instead of speaking my mind, which truly happens only by the self-control grown in me by the Holy Spirit.) But it's what my husband's heart needs, and so I am trying to choose to give it.

What do you need to do to love your spouse with all your heart? Ask him or her and find out! Sit facing one another on the couch or on the bed. Look each other in the eyes and ask, "What can I do to make you feel more loved by me?" And then keep asking questions until you completely understand. You might be as surprised by the answers you get as your spouse is by the question itself!

Once you know what it will take - or even as you're still figuring it out - work, and work hard at doing whatever it is that your spouse's heart needs you to do. That means being intentional with words and actions. It means dying to self at times in order to give your husband the respect that he needs, or your wife the love and adoration that she needs. Give sacrificially of yourself in order to care for the heart of your beloved.

What a relief it is to me to know that loving my husband with all my heart really has nothing to do with sappy, mushy sentiment (although that may be exactly what your spouse needs from you!), but everything to do with giving his heart what it needs. Ironically, I often realize that when I am intentionally loving Scott, giving his heart what it needs, those mushy feelings start to show up on their own.

I guess sometimes a girl just has to give in...

Crock-Pot Marriage

2015-02-17T14:09:00.001-06:00

It's been almost a year now since I entered the work force full time after having been a stay-at-home mom for more than a decade. It has been a challenge to continue taking care of my husband and four kids the way I want to, stay involved in the life of my church family, and put in 40+ hours a week as a bank teller. It has been exhausting and thrilling and full of life lessons.

One thing I have learned is to let go of some things.

Things like the housecleaning. My kiddos have all learned to do chores. I've learned to let their best effort be good enough, even though the work may not be done the way I would have done it.

Things like meal planning and prep. When I stayed at home with my babies, I loved to cook and almost always had a balanced, home-cooked meal on the table by 5:00 in the evening. Now I have become quite proficient at throwing something in the crock-pot on my lunch hour in the hopes that it will be edible at some point before bedtime.

I love my crock-pot recipes. They're quick to assemble and then I can just walk away and let the appliance do all the work.

I was thinking today how nice it would be if relationships worked the same way. Especially marriages. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just find a mate with the right "ingredients" and then just let the marriage simmer for a few decades?

Alas, it is not to be. No, marriages take a more hands-on approach for sure. And although there are hundreds of articles out there that tell you otherwise, there really isn't even a fail-proof recipe, no step-by-step instructions to follow that will guarantee the success of your marriage relationship.

Which is ironic, considering the title of one of my previous posts, The Recipe For Love.

I do believe, however, that the Bible gives us the basic ingredients.

Mark 12:30 tells us to love the Lord with our heart, soul, mind and strength. I believe this tells us that were were created to love in four very distinct and significant ways:
We love with our hearts...emotionally.
We love with our souls...spiritually.
We love with our minds...cognitively or intellectually.
We love with our strength...physically.

These four "ingredients" - emotional love, spiritual love, intellectual love, and physical love - are the basis for lasting and fulfilling marriage. But they aren't simple ingredients that we can just toss into the relationship and then walk away. We have to tend to them, sometimes stirring them gently and other times kneading them with a firm hand. It takes work to make these ingredients come together into something delicious and satisfying.

In the coming weeks I will address each ingredient individually. I will talk about what it means to love your spouse emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically. I will give some practical suggestions. I will open the Word and show you how God loves His own bride, the church, in each of these ways. And I hope you will be encouraged to love your spouse a little more deeply, and little more fully.

Let's save the crock-pots for dinner and learn to be a gourmet chef when it comes to our marriages.

Link: Love...With All Your Heart

Why I Don't Like Valentine's Day

2015-02-10T17:28:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. Have you made your plans yet for that special "someone" in your life? Do you have your mushy, we're-so-perfect-for-each-other card all signed and ready to go? Are you prepared to feel gloriously and giddy in love for a day?

Confession: I don't really like Valentine's Day. (Sorry, Honey.)

In fact, some years I'd prefer just to skip it altogether.

It might have something to do with the fact that my first and last children have birthdays just before and after Valentine's Day, so I'm always too preoccupied with plans to celebrate those instead of focusing on my husband. I'm usually exhausted and just a little crabby by the time February 14th rolls around.

But really, I think it has more to do with the fact that I simply cannot manufacture lovey-dovey, over-the-top romantic feelings just because the calendar tells me I should.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband. I love him with all my heart. Every day.

Even when I don't like him very much.

I think I just heard you gasp. "What? Did you just put it in writing that you don't always like your husband?"

Well, YES.

Some days he makes me crazy. And I do the same to him! It's OKAY! It's part of spending your entire adult life with someone. Some days you can't get enough of him (or her), and some days you're ready to send him away on a vacation...by himself!

Why? Because no matter how much you love a person, that person never was and never will be perfect. And neither will you. The key is learning to be okay with that reality.

Like so many other people, when Scott and I got married, I had grand visions of how perfectly happy we would be together. We would live in complete harmony every day. No conflict, no friction, just bliss. We would truly be the very first "perfect couple."

This misguided vision assumed a couple of things. First, that I would bring no flaws into the marriage with me. Apparently there was nothing objectionable about me, nothing Scott should ever find fault with. And if there was anything objectionable about Scott, he should quickly alter it so as to meet my expectations. It also assumed that in each other, Scott and I would find everything we would ever need to be happy and fulfilled.

We say things to each other when we're in love, absurd things that we then print in Valentine's Day and Anniversary cards. Things like, "you complete me," and "you're perfect for me."

It has been a hard lesson for me to learn that I will never be able to "complete" my husband, nor will he do that for me. No matter how much we love each other and no matter how hard we want it to be true, our spouses cannot fulfill every need in our lives. They just can't.

They weren't meant to.

Because the only place we will ever find completion is in Christ. (Check out Colossians 2:9-10.)

And when we expect our spouse to do the work in us that only Jesus can do, we set them up for failure. We create an environment for our marriage where brokenness and imperfections aren't allowed. Our spouse is no longer "safe" to bring his humanness, his flaws, to the relationship and know that he will still be loved. And we carry the pretense that we, ourselves, bring nothing but perfection to the table, thus leaving a good portion of ourselves outside in the cold.

Intimacy - true emotional, spiritual intimacy - cannot take place when we will not or cannot bring our whole person safely into the marriage.

Thankfully, God is teaching me a new reality for marriage.

The truth is, my husband will stumble. Because he is human, because sin too often finds a way to seep in, because we still function in a broken world. Because this side of heaven, my husband will never be perfect.

And neither will I. I will fail more times than I would like to imagine or admit.

But the reality that I am learning to live in is one where it's okay for Scott to be imperfect. It's okay for me to admit that I have flaws. We can even expect each other to have faults, to experience failures. And we can decide to love each other, faults and all. Not in spite of our failures, but through our failures. As Casting Crowns puts it, we can be "broken together."

I cannot describe to you how I felt the day this truth crystallized in my mind. (But I'm gonna try!) It was like stepping outside into the sun after being trapped inside for a week, like leaving the office on Friday evening before a week of vacation. I imagine it was something like my teacher-husband feels on the first day of summer break. Freedom!

Suddenly I didn't feel confined by the need to make my husband conform to my ideals. Nor did I want to pretend that I am always right or even always lovable. Suddenly it felt safe to be real. And it felt really great to know that I can bring all my imperfections to my marriage and that I can invite my husband to do the same, and that together as one flesh we can do life together. We can help each other through the hard times and celebrate with one another through the good.

This, my friends is LOVE.

(By the way, this isn't as new of a concept as I make it out to be. Check out what Paul had to say on the subject in Colossians 3:12-15.)

So, back to Valentine's Day. I'm still not a fan of the so-called "holiday," and I just can't bring myself to buy Scott some cheesy, sentimental card. But I am looking forward to spending some quality time with him. And I may have something a little silly-romantic up my sleeve.

Maybe.

(Love you, Scott. :) )

I.HATE.MONDAYS

2014-12-08T22:55:00.000-06:00

"I.HATE.MONDAYS."

My ten-year-old son grumbled those words to me a couple of weeks back when I shook him and told him it was time to get out of bed. I've gotta say...I agree.

I.HATE.MONDAYS, TOO.

Have you ever had a day like the one I did today?

It was a Monday in every stereotypical fashion, full of disappointments and frustrations, stresses and challenges. Nothing earth-shattering or life-changing. Just an accumulation of small things that made me want to come home, crawl in my bed and pull the covers up over my face.

And then stay there until Friday.

I'm tempted to wallow in my failures, to walk away from the challenges instead of finding a way to conquer them, to complain to God about how hard my day has been, to villainize the people who added to my stress.

Or maybe just hide from them and hope they all go away.

Life doesn't work that way, though. At least not the kind of life that I am called to in Christ.

When I wallow in my struggles, when I roll around in them and let them cover up all that is good in myself or in my life, I give them far too much control over my emotions and my self-esteem. I give these negative experiences authority that they don't deserve; I give my shortcomings the power to define who I am. I have to be purposeful in reminding myself that I am not defined by my failures, but by the grace that God has poured out on me through His Son, Jesus. 1 John 3:1 says, "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

I am more than my mess-ups. I am a child of the God of the Universe, and I am loved mightily by Him.

When I walk away from the challenges that life throws at me, I walk away from opportunities to allow God's power to reign in and through me. I deny the Holy Spirit the chance to guide me and stretch me, to mold me into a woman that more closely resembles Himself. I also confess with my actions that I have little faith in the power of my Savior. In Philippians 4:13 - an often quoted verse - Paul claims that through Christ he can endure any situation, no matter how challenging. When I give up because circumstances get a little uncomfortable or intimidating, it's as if I perceive the situation to be bigger than my God.

When I complain to God about the stress of my day, do I take into consideration all the blessings that have been wedged in between the irritations? (James 1:2 even describes trials as a blessing because they create in us maturity of faith and character!) Do I look around at the people in my little world who are truly suffering in BIG ways, just to put my own troubles into perspective? Am I honestly following Paul's instructions in Philippians 4:8 that teach us how to focus our thoughts on good and lovely things? Or those in 1 Thessalonians 5 that tell us to give thanks in every circumstance?

I think not.

And when I tell my husband about all the awful people that I encountered through the day, when I recount all the many offenses I've endured...

Well, now I've set myself up as the judge, the one worthy of defining the worth and position of someone else. James 4:11-12 says, "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"

Yes, who am I to judge? Instead, Jesus Himself instructs me to do this: "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." (Matthew 5:44)

Sigh.

Can't I just stay under the covers and hide?

In John 10:10 Jesus declares that He has come to bring us life "to the full." Somehow I don't think hiding beneath my pillow is the kind of full life that He was speaking of.

A full life has many ups and downs, even when we're walking with Jesus the entire way. The difference He creates isn't an absence of frustrations or failures, but a different way of handling them. We can be confident - even in the face of our own shortcomings - that we are valuable and loved members of God's family. We can depend on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us thrive in any challenging situation, and even see it as a blessing along the way. And those awful people who we just want to cut to shreds with our words...they become instead the object of our prayers.

Life does look a little different from that perspective, doesn't it? Maybe Mondays don't have to be so rotten after all.

I'm still hoping for a better day tomorrow...

A Tribute To My Dad

2014-06-15T07:52:00.000-05:00

Today is Father's Day. Being the fabulous daughter that I am, I neglected to do so much as send a card to my dad. What use is a card, anyway? It expresses my supposed thoughts towards my dad, only in someone else's words. And after it sits on a counter or desk somewhere for a couple of days it just goes in the trash, anyway.

Thinking that my own words might do a better job of articulating how I feel about my dad, I opted to share them here.

If you haven't had the pleasure of knowing my dad, I must say that the loss truly is yours. My dad is an amazing man. No, he's not rich or famous or even overly charismatic. Meeting him won't leave you stunned and speechless.

But knowing him will bless your life incredibly.

When people ask me about my dad, I smile as I recall the many days we spent in the backyard throwing a softball back and forth. How many times did he have to let himself out through the gate to retrieve a ball I had launched over the fence? And then there was the day he was trying to teach me how to pitch...

I'm sure he must have been angry about that broken window, but I truly don't remember.

I remember riding behind him on the motorcycle, feeling the world rush by yet knowing I was completely safe with him controlling the bike.

SAFE.

Yes, my dad was always my safe place. Whether I was hurt or scared or sick, my daddy's lap was the safest place in the world. I can even remember curling up against him on the couch as a teenager when I had taken too much antibiotic and my stomach felt like it was trying out for the Olympic gymnastics team. And then there were the times that I knew I had messed up, when I knew I was in TROUBLE. Still, my dad was a safe place to turn, to confess my wrongdoing. There was no fortress on earth as safe as my dad's presence.

But the one thing I always tell people about my dad when they ask is this: My dad has been, and still continues to be, the best living example of Jesus that I have ever met. I have watched him give and give and give of himself to the people around him, never asking for anything in return. I have watched him grieve when his children are hurting. He has walked with integrity and righteousness, and expected my brother and me to do the same. I have felt his wrath when I have stepped out of line, but always, always felt the forgiveness and acceptance along with the punishment. He has pointed me to our Heavenly Father with his words and actions alike.

My dad will never write a book or deliver a sermon filled with eloquent words. That's just not who he is. But my dad has painted a picture of Jesus with his life that - to me - is beyond parallel.

Thank you, Dad, for loving Jesus enough to be Him in my life. Love you.

A New Name

2014-04-02T09:58:00.001-05:00


Photo Credit: http://eq5.net/narnia/fourchildren.html

Last week was Spring Break for our family, so the kiddos got to stay up a little later at night and sleep a little later in the morning. Since we had a few extra minutes in the evenings that weren't filled with choosing clothes for the next morning or finishing up homework, I decided to spend extra time reading to my three youngest kids each night. (My thirteen year-old seems to think he's outgrown this kind of thing...) We started the book The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

It's one of my favorites and I've read it to all four of my kids now.

But no matter how many times I read that wonderful story, when I come to the chapter when the White Witch kills Aslan, I can barely continue reading out loud because my throat tightens and my eyes fill to the brim with tears.

And I have a rule: No matter what time of evening it is, we absolutely CANNOT stop with that chapter. We simply must read on to hear how Aslan defeats the evil and comes back to life, stronger than ever.

Such a beautiful retelling of how our Savior, Jesus, defeated our enemy and rose from the grave.

But that's not the only part that gets me.

Every time I read the chapter that describes how Aslan crowns the four children as Kings and Queens of Narnia, and then a few pages over where Lewis tells of the new names the Narnians have given their royal family, the tears just can't be held back.

Peter the Magnificent. Susan the Gentle. Edmund the Just. And Lucy the Valiant.

New names describing their character as Kings and Queens of Narnia. Character that was developed only after their very close and very personal encounter with the one High King, Aslan.

Names are important, you know. Names in the Bible were often chosen for their meaning, sometimes because of a specific promise regarding the child, sometimes because of how the parents felt regarding the birth of said child. Several times God bestowed new names on His children because He had a new purpose for their life.

The story of Jacob lately has captivated my mind because of what God did when He changed his name to Israel. I mentioned in my last post, Wrestling With God, how the Lord changed Jacob's name -- which meant "deceiver" -- to Israel, which meant "one who persevered with God." From that point on this man was no longer called or known by his weakness -- the sin of deception; now he would be known for his strength -- holding on to God.

We once had a name that bespoke our character: Sinner. Romans 3:23 says that we have all sinned. But the day we entered into a covenant relationship with Jesus, He gave us a new name: Beloved. And He shared even His own name with us: CHRISTian.

We were once known for our weakness: our sin.

Now we are known for our strength: Christ.

When Satan tries to call you by your old name, remind him that you no longer answer to it. Remind him of what we are told in Ephesians 1:13 -- that God has identified us as HIS by placing His own Spirit within us.

The name "Sinner" no longer applies.

My friend, you have been given a beautiful new name by the King of Kings. No, you are probably not a King or Queen in this world, but you are the child of the King. He has crowned you as His royal prince (or princess!) and has named you according to the purpose He has for you. No longer shall you bow your head in defeat, but you shall raise your head in triumph as you carry His Son, the Christ, into the world.

Go, and wear your name well Christian!

Wrestling With God

2014-03-10T06:30:00.000-05:00

Jacob Wrestles the Angel
Rembrandt Harmensz 1659

Normally I don't like to spend my time on My Heart sharing what I've heard from another author or speaker; I try to just write the thoughts that God has placed on my heart as I meditate on His Word or experience life as He gives it to me. But today I want to share with you something that I received from my church's senior minister, a concept that has wedged itself in my mind and won't leave me alone.

He was preaching from the book of Genesis, and took us to chapter 32, to the verses that describe the night Jacob wrestled with an unnamed man. Many scholars believe this man to have one of three possible identities: God Himself, the Pre-Incarnate Christ, or one of God's angels. We honestly can't tell beyond a doubt who he was from the Scriptures, but we know that whoever he was, he was not of natural origins. This man, indeed, was a supernatural being.

But really, that's not important to what I'm wanting to say. What IS important is this: "Then the man said, 'Let me go, for it is daybreak.' But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me." (Genesis 32:26)

"God looks for perseverance in the face of adversity," I wrote in my notes as the minister spoke. And then in the margin I added, "Don't give up until the blessing comes."

And while this wasn't the direction the minister was going, I added underneath my note in the margin, "How can I apply this to my marriage?" In fact, as I rolled the idea around in my head this afternoon I wondered how I could apply this to several areas of my life. Am I really holding onto God -- beseeching Him through prayer, holding on through faith -- and refusing to let go until He blesses my life?

I've always considered my approach toward God as needing to be... respectful, I guess. Or maybe a bit passive. Ask Him politely for the things I need and wait to see what His answer is. I learned as a child that asking for something over and over doesn't necessarily get the same result as it did for the persistent widow in Luke 18. My children have learned the same from me that I did from my parents: begging for something usually eliminates any and all possibility of actually receiving the desired object or privilege.

And so I approach God with that in mind: ask Him once and then wait, otherwise my requests only serve to annoy Him.

But maybe God's nerves are not so easily trampled. Or maybe holding on and refusing to let go until we receive His blessing isn't the same thing as a child begging his parent for a new toy.

You see, Jacob didn't wrestle with God for something small or cheap. He was asking for God's blessing. He was asking for God to speak new purpose into his life. He was asking to be changed. It was not a simple request, nor did he make it easily.

No, Jacob made the request (more like a demand, really) after hours of physically wrestling with... whomever it was he was wrestling. It wasn't as easy as bowing his head in prayer and asking; no, he had to fight for it. He held on with all his might, and in the end he received exactly what he asked for.

No longer would he be Jacob the heel-grabber, Jacob the deceiver, the trickster. From that day on he would be known as Israel, one who persevered with God. He would no longer be known for his weakness, but for his strength. And it was only as a man who persevered with God that he would become the father of a great nation.

However...

Jacob did not persevere with God without great cost to himself: "When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man." (Genesis 32:25)

Jacob, now Israel, received the blessing he sought, but he walked away from the fight injured and limping.

The lesson for us: holding onto God, refusing to let go until He blesses us, will not be an easy task. It's going to be utterly exhausting and it's going to hurt.

What part of your life do you need to hold on to God for, refusing to let go until He blesses it?

Maybe it is your marriage. Or maybe it's your children. Or maybe you're desperate for God to bless your life with a clear purpose. Whatever it is, is it worth persevering? Is it worth exhausting yourself as you clench your fists around God's ankles or wrists and refuse to let go? Will you allow Him to touch you in a way that is painful, that leaves you scarred for life, if it means you will receive His blessing? Are you willing to walk away from this experience limping, but with new purpose in each step?

My understanding of perseverance was changed today. My concept of what it means to petition the Lord has been completely turned upside down. I realize that I've been asking Him to bless my life, expecting that blessing to come all neatly wrapped in a little package with a pretty little bow on top. I've been asking Him to shape my marriage, to transform my children, to bring purpose to my life, expecting to be able to watch from the sidelines while He does all the work.

What I learned today is that it's time for me to get out on the mats and start wrestling. It's time for me to invest my blood and sweat and tears, and even after a long night of fighting, to hold on with all my might until the blessing comes.

And then, like Israel, I will be able to limp away a new person, God's blessing shining on me like the dawn of a new day.

The Truth About Yourself

2014-01-30T09:55:00.000-06:00

photo credit: www.plumdoodles.com

Hello, friends! Today I posted over on theMarathonMom.com an article entitled Detoxing Our Thoughts. The entire month of January has been focused on detox over at Marathon Mom, and I thought it was important to focus on ridding ourselves of critical thought patterns.

Specifically, I think it is so very important for us to break the bad habit of thinking toxic thoughts about ourselves and about others, and to replace those thoughts with the Truth of who we are in Christ.

Here are a just few of those Truth statements revealed to us through the Scriptures:

I am not unlovable, but very loved... 1 John 3:1.
I am not a failure, but I have victory through Christ... Romans 8:37.
I am not ugly, but a beautiful temple where the Lord has chosen to dwell... 1 Corinthians 6:19.
I am not unwanted, but specially chosen by God and adopted into His family... Galatians 4:5-7.
I am not without purpose, but have been blessed by the Lord... Psalm 139:5.

These thoughts are true about each one of us, and there are so many more than what I listed! In fact, I have long been drawn to studying and writing about the truth of who we are and who God created us to be. I have filed those articles under the Girl Talk tab, and in those articles you will find many more Scriptures to hold close to your heart as you begin replacing your negative thoughts with the powerful Truth of God's Word.

Please, take a few minutes to read my steps on Detoxing Your Thoughts over at MarathonMom, and then spend some time letting God's truth about who you are sink in to your mind and heart.

You are loved, my friend. Don't ever believe anyone who tells you otherwise, even if that someone is yourself.

"This is real love -- not that we loved God, but that He loved us

and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." ~ 1 John 4:10

Perfectly Adequate

2014-01-24T16:17:00.000-06:00

"There is no inadequacy that God cannot make adequate...no insufficiency that He cannot make sufficient."

Dr. Ed Hindson, a Christian teacher and author, spoke those words on a video I was watching this morning. They pierced right through to the heart of this girl who has struggled with feeling inadequate for much of her adult life. The truth of these words resonated deep in my soul, meeting there a longing for purpose and challenging the nagging lie that I am not -- nor will I ever be -- adequate to fulfill any kind of purpose that God might have for someone like me.

You see, I have never been the kind of person that makes a long-lasting impression on other people. My face is not terribly memorable, nor have I accomplished much that would gain me any sort of notoriety. As much as I want to be that girl who stands out in a crowd, alas, I am usually better at blending in.

And so I approach my life as a Christ-follower as if I'm just one of the crowd. As if in order to get God's attention, I'm going to need to do something big, something spectacular. But what? And how? What have I got to offer that would be magnificent enough to turn the head of the God of the Universe in my direction?

After all, I'm just li'l old me. Nothing spectacular about that.

And then today I heard Dr. Hindson's words...
     There is no inadequacy that God cannot make adequate.

I followed him to Psalm 139, verses 1-5 where I read these words:
     "O Lord, you have examined my heart
   and know everything about me.
     You know when I sit down or stand up.
   You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
     You see me when I travel
   and when I rest at home.
   You know everything I do.
     You know what I am going to say
         even before I say it, Lord.
     You go before me and follow me.
         You place your hand of blessing on my head."

I have read verse 13 of this chapter a hundred times, at least. ("You have formed me in my mother's womb...") But I confess, this is probably only the second or third time I have backed up and read the first five verses. (The only reason I know I've read these verses before is that I have verse 5 underlined!) And let me tell you, they blew me away.

Because they tell me that not only am I not forgettable, as I imagine myself to be, but God has been with me every step of my life. He has seen even the smallest details of my life, he has heard every thought that has been through my head (yikes!). He has gone before me to make a path for my life and He has come behind me to see where I've been.

I have not only been noticed, I have been the focus of His attention.

And the best part... He has placed His hand of blessing on me. God blessed me! Li'l old me! And when you read through the Old Testament and discover the depth of a father's blessing on his child...wow! God didn't just put His hand on me and say, "bless you, child."

He poured out His favor over me and spoke His purpose into my life.

I am not forgotten or overlooked.

And whatever inadequacies may be woven into the fabric of who I am God has made perfectly adequate by that blessing.

My friend, the same is true of you. You may feel as if you have nothing to offer, as if your talents and your personality aren't sufficient to do any significant work in God's Kingdom. But please listen to this truth: God has poured His blessing out on your life, and in doing so He has given you a purpose. He has filled in all the gaps, all the inadequacies that would keep you from fulfilling that purpose.

If your soul is thirsty for that truth today, spend some time letting it wash over you and minister to you. Re-read Psalm 139 and choose to believe what it has to say. Let it heal the brokenness that has come from not feeling significant.

But don't rest forever. Claim the promise of a purpose for your life and trust Him enough to begin pursuing that purpose.

Trust Him...for there is no inadequacy that He cannot make perfectly adequate.

God IS

2013-12-30T15:32:00.000-06:00

Being the mother of four children, three of which are boys, I am well-versed in the fairy tale of Peter Pan. There is a scene in the original play by J. M. Barrie that depicts Tinkerbell, Peter's faithful yet mischievous fairy, as her light (a.k.a. her life) is fading away. The audience is called upon to profess their belief in fairies, thus saving Tinkerbell and restoring her to life. Her lifeline is tied directly to the belief of others in her kind.

Sometimes I think we Christians act as though God is much like Tinkerbell, that His power and existence are somehow tied to humanity's belief in Him.

Oh, we may not profess to believe that. In fact, some of you are probably up in arms by that statement. In our heads we know that God doesn't need us to believe in Him in order to exist.

But do we know that in our hearts? Enough to dictate how we act and react to the world?

Do we really believe in the Great I AM?

Read more about this on themarathonmom.com in my article The Unchangeable I AM. (Title is link to full article.)

Joy Will Come

2013-12-24T10:43:00.003-06:00

Grief, I think, is felt more deeply at Christmas than any other season of the year.

It steals your breath and sinks like lead to the pit of your stomach.

It cries out against the sentiments that Christmas is a happy, jolly time. It threatens the very idea of joy.

How can I find joy, it says, when my daughter's life was cut short by the hatred of another?

Where is joy for the mother who grieves the loss of her babies while she recovers in a hospital bed?

Or for the wife who sleeps alone at night instead of being held close by the arms of the man she thought would be by her side forever? For the mother who sits across from her child at a table in a prison visitation room rather than her own dining room?

Find the joy in that, Grief challenges.

And yet, Christmas is "supposed" to be the most joyful time of the year. We sing songs about it, we preach sermons about it, we celebrate it.

But do we experience it? As the weight of grief, injustice, sorrow press down on us, suffocating us, do we find joy?

I think about the hundreds of parents in Israel whose children were slaughtered by a jealous and paranoid king. Would they have found joy in that first Christmas?

Would the whisper of hope have been enough to pierce through the heavy veil of grief and spark a flicker of joy in their hearts? Is it enough today?

Because Jesus is just as real today as He was 2000 years ago.

He still beckons us to come and find in Him everything we need to bear the weight of life, of grief. He still promises to deliver us from the oppression of the world that surrounds us. He promises that we do not have to carry the weight of that world by ourselves. He promises that there IS something better, that there is a world where joy is untainted by sorrow.

Psalm 30:5 promises that our weeping may last for a night -- or a year, or a lifetime -- but joy will come. It will not come instead of the pain, but in spite of it, maybe even in the midst of it. It will come when we carry our grief into His presence and lay it at His feet.

It will come when we continue to fix our eyes on Him, even in the midst of turmoil (Hebrews 12).

Joy will come.

Because joy isn't feeling happy or jolly or merry, or any of those "Christmasy" feelings. JOY is knowing that Jesus is alive and that He conquered our enemy and the grave. JOY is knowing that Jesus is very real and that He dwells in the midst of our pain and suffering. JOY is found in the presence of our Savior.

Yes, Joy will -- and has -- come.

My sweet friends and family who are experiencing the unbearable weight of grief this Christmas, I pray you find the Hope and Joy of Jesus in spite of your sorrow. I pray you will let Him wrap His arms around you and hold you close. I pray you will sob into His shoulder like you would your earthly father and find comfort in His unfathomable love. Oh, how I pray that you will trust Him to carry you through this enormously difficult time. Run to Him, lean on Him, rest in Him. He loves you so.

The Eyes of Jesus

2013-12-03T16:18:00.003-06:00

Recently I discovered about myself that I have somehow come to love the Scriptures about Jesus more than I love the man Himself. While I will always consider the Bible to be a treasure beyond worth, I want to love Jesus more than anything. I want Him to be the center of my worship and devotion. And so I have set myself on a path to discover who He was and is. My goal is to know Him that I might love Him.

Today I read a section of Philip Yancey's book The Jesus I Never Knew that discussed Jesus' appearance. Which is really difficult to do in any educated sort of manner since we really have no record of what Jesus actually looked like. Over the centuries, each ethnicity has created images of Him that match images of themselves. That seems a little backwards to me, since we are actually created in HIS image. (Gen. 1:26) Yancey pointed out that the only description of Jesus' appearance was actually written WAY before His entry into our world, and it doesn't describe Him as a very attractive sort of man.

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." (Isaiah 53:2b)

As I thought about Jesus' appearance, I began to contemplate His eyes. They would have been brown, of course, because He was Jewish. And I expect that they had a bit of sparkle to them. Not an ornery sparkle, though, just the gleam of someone who really enjoyed life. I imagine that they were warm and inviting, smiling.

Until He looked upon the face of someone who was hurting. Then you could see the compassion in His eyes, the shared suffering. Perhaps you would expect to see condemnation, judgement, but there was none. Instead His eyes spoke of forgiveness and love and acceptance.

Except for the religious leaders who claimed to be righteous, but whose hearts were filled to the brim with selfishness. Toward them, Jesus' eyes sparked with anger and indignation and yes, judgement. As I read the Gospels, I find it is only to the self-righteous leaders that Jesus speaks words of condemnation. I wonder what it felt like for them to have the Son of God's eyes bearing down on them. Maybe I don't want to know.

Maybe you're wondering what significance Jesus' eyes have for me. Why does it matter what they looked like?

For me, a person's eyes are the window to their soul. Weariness, joy, anger, untold sorrow...they are all evident in a person's eyes. Love, hatred, compassion, contempt. A person's words tell me what they want me to know, but their eyes tell me the real story.

So as I study the person of Jesus and begin to know Him as a man, I see His eyes, and His eyes tell me who He is. As I read about how He interacted with the people around Him, I can see in my mind His eyes and know that He was real. And those dark, warm, compassionate eyes invite me to come into His presence, to allow Him see into MY eyes, to see behind the facade, behind the wall that keeps me safe from the world. And in His eyes, I find acceptance...full and complete acceptance.

For that, I love Him more than I can put into words.

Read about my entire journey here:
Falling In Love With Jesus
Loving the REAL Jesus

Extending the Season of Gratitude

2013-11-29T21:34:00.000-06:00

Many of my friends are die-hard Black Friday shoppers.

I am not one, nor do I ever intend to be. In fact, I really can't think of any sale that would inspire me to get up at the wee hours of the morning and stand in line only to fight off the crowds for something that I nor my kids really need.

No, I would really rather spend the day after Thanksgiving eating leftovers and putting up my Christmas decorations.

Don't get me wrong; I have no feelings of judgement whatsoever toward those of you who love Black Friday shopping. (But don't get me started on all that is wrong with those sales starting on Thursday!!) If that is something that you love to do, then by all means, go to it!

I just personally have a problem with spending Thursday focusing on all that I am thankful for, and then Friday morning abandoning that in pursuit of more stuff. (Well, and my dislike of large crowds has a little something to do with it, too...) I don't like that our attitude shifts so easily from thankfulness to...well... greediness, even of the smallest sort.

Thankfulness is an attitude that should be intentionally cultivated throughout the year, and the Christmas season is no exception.

Want to know how my family and I strive to teach thankfulness in our home through the Christmas season? Follow this link over to themarathonmom.com and read my article: "Being Thankful Beyond Christmas."

Love to you all; I am thankful for each one of you that takes the time to read my ramblings here at MyHeart!
~Angie