raising daughters

1st funeral

2011-09-30T06:18:00.002-05:00

This week my grandfather passed away. He lived a long healthy life (he was 94). In all reality he lived the kind of life that most people dream of living. He was married to the same women for over 60 years, worked at the same job for 25 years, a job he loved and retired from. He spent most days of his life doing what he loved. I often wish I really had his genes (my mom was adopted), as I can only hope and pray that my health stays with me as long as his stayed with him.

My grandfather was a great example of a gentlemen and at the funeral that was one of the most common words people used to describe him. Anther common word was "great friend". Even at the age he was when he passed, he manged to have a room filled with people come to bid him farewell. He had many friends and was involved in many things even up until the end of his life.

We took the girls to his funeral. This was a 1st for them. I prepared them a lot before we went, as much as I could. Nadia had a hard time. It kind of shocked me since she wasn't all that close to my grandfather, but I tend to think that it wouldn't have mattered whose funeral we were at. I think it was just the sadness in the room. It broke my heart to see her sobbing, but we made it through.

setting goals and reaching them

2011-09-09T06:16:00.002-05:00

In May when Cathy and I decided to start running I set a goal of loosing 10 lbs. It took all summer long but I finally lost the last 2 lbs to completing my goal yesterday! As much as I am very proud of myself for sticking to something and having it pay off it has led me to thinking a lot about body image. I have to wonder if there will ever be a point that I am happy with how my body looks. Will there ever be a # on the scale that I can look at and say, "that's it, that's enough"? It just seems there is always something that I think could look better. It's not even that I think I need to lose weight because I know I'm not big. It's more toning and building muscle. It can be difficult being a "skinny" person and talking about body image. People look at you and think that because you aren't over weight you shouldn't have any issues. If only that were how it really was.

I'm big on telling Nadia and Livy that mommy runs to be healthy. I want to be here for them for as many years as I can be so i feel it's important to look after myself as much as I can. But, I don't ever want them to think that they have to "look" certain way to be healthy. I don't want them at 31 years old to still be worrying about how they look.

I can say that at 31 years old.....i feel the best I've ever felt in my whole life. And for now that is the best goal I could ever attain.

September

2011-09-01T18:31:00.002-05:00

I can't believe we are into September already. Is it just me or is there something just a little bit sad about September. I'm not sure if it's the ending of summer or knowing that winter is just around the corner or if it's the starting of school and the hectic morning's (and evenings) that come with that; but for me it's sad. I love the long days of summer and the slower pace that the days seem to take on. September brings early mornings and evenings are filled with homework and then rushing the kids to bed. I have never been one of those parents that looks forward to back to school and I don't think I ever will be.

time to blog again?

2011-08-28T18:37:00.002-05:00

I've tried in the past to blog and have never really felt I had anything to say that would be worthwhile for other people to read. I'm not sure that has changed but I thought that i would give it a shot one more time and see how it goes.

Things have changed a lot since I last "blogged". I did end up leaving my job at Pinecone but did not go to work in the hotel industry. Instead I went in a completely different direction and went to work in a bank. I LOVE my job and I'm so glad that I went to work there. I work 2 minutes from home and I can literally look out the window of the bank and see the school where my oldest daughter attends grade 5. Wow! Did I just say grade 5??? I guess that is a whole other topic :)

One other thing that has changed in my life is that I'm actually taking care of myself. I'm running, something I wasn't sure I would ever be able to do successfully, but then again what makes a person a successful runner? I run with my sister in law a few times per week. We began with a program called Couch to 5k. It was fantastic, just what we needed to get us started. I remember in the beginning thinking I would never be able to run for 30 minutes straight which was the end goal of the program; but guess what? We did it! We can now run a 5k in 30 min and we will be doing our 1st organized run this fall.

That brings me to the point of blogging again. As I am beginning to take care of myself more I thought that this fall it might be beneficial to do one of those 21 day cleanse diets. Not a diet to lose weight but just to rid my body of all the toxins that add up over a life time of eating junk. I have picked a date to start this "cleanse" yet and I'm thinking that instead of following a program I may pick and chose aspects and recipes from all different detox and cleanse diets. When i start i will plan to blog daily about what I ate and how I felt at the end of each day. I'm already nervous about how i will feel giving up coffee for 21 days.....i actually shudder when I think about it right now. So why do I plan to blog about this? It's more for me then for anyone else. I'm hoping that by writing it all down it will help me stick to it and maybe just maybe there will be people out there who find it interesting to read as well.

At a Crossroads

2008-06-16T13:43:00.003-06:00

I am writing this more for myself then for anyone else, which is probably a good think since i don't have many people reading my blog. I need to get a few things from my mind down on paper so to speak.

A little back story....i stayed home with Nadia until she was almost 4 at which time I started working at the Pinecone Campground in the office there. Because it is a campground i only work 5 months of the year leaving the other 7 to be home with the girls. the 5 months of the year that I do work, i work every other weekend and my shifts are 10 hours long and of late this has caused a problem for Rob. He really dislikes me working every other weekend as he feels we really don't get any family time in the summer. I'm summerizing here because i know there is more then just that to his complaint. Moving forward a bit.....i really enjoy working. I love when I am able to fix a problem and when people know that it's from something I did that made their life easier. I love the apprciation i get from the customers I serve and from the people i work for. I feel valued here in a way that I don't at home. Now, wait just a moment, i'm not saying that I don't feel valued at home because I do, but it's in a completely different way. I'm sure I don't have to explain that.

Now here's where the crossroads comes into play. Over the winter while I was off I started thinking about what it would be like when the time comes that I go back to work full time year round. When i would, where i would, if i would, etc, etc. I have thought that because of how much I enjoy my job that I would like to work in the hotel industry preferably at a front desk. So, on Saturday while Driving to Moncton i drove by the new Hampton Inn that is bebing constructed on Mapleton Dr and see a big sign that says "now hiring". I've not been able to think of anything else since then. I've gone online and looked at the job add. I've even updated my resume, but here's the thing. Next year is Livy's last year before going to school. Do I really want to go back to work full time at this time in her life or do I want to hold off one more year. By waiting, the job will no longer be there but that's not to say a new one won't exsit. It will also mean that I only have to pay for after school child care which will really help us out.

After going back and reading over everything i have written so far, it really seems that the best thing to do is wait. There will be other jobs, right?

So, for anyone who is reading this how would you go about telling your current employer that you only plan to work 1 more year here. Keep in mind that I love my boss and not only think of him as a boss but as a friend and I know that the idea of me leaving will really take him off gaurd. He has plans for me to be here for years to come, but i'm just not sure it's enough for me anymore.

any thoughts?

Nadia lost her 1st tooth

2008-02-24T06:42:00.003-05:00

My 6 year old little girl finally lost her 1st tooth. she has been waiting and waiting, wondering when it would finally be her turn to get a visit from the tooth fairy. In kindergarten many of her little friends had lost teeth but not Nadia. Then this year just before Christmas she got her 1st wiggelly tooth. I never thought it would take this long to come out but just last night it finally fell out in her mouth while she was laying in bed. It was such an exciting moment!!! She was scared and excited at the same time but I felt like it was such a step towards growing up. Just last week we were at the dentist and it was confirmed that her 1st adult teeth (6 year molars) had come through!!! And now she's lost her 1st tooth. Her 2nd one is very close. She can turn it around in circles but she says it's just not ready to come out. I sent her downstairs to play with it some more because the way it's hanging i'm scard its going to fall out while she's eating and she'll swallow it. We leave for Sunday school in 90 min and I'd love to see that tooth out before we go. 2 visits from the tooth fair in 2 days is pretty exciting. We took pictures last night but I haven't had a chance to download them yet. I will post one as soon as i do.

tagged

2008-01-07T19:24:00.000-05:00

tagged by http://messartists.wordpress.com/2008/01/

I've never done a link before so i'm really not sure this is the right way to do this.......

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. orShare the 5 top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list. or Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when your were 25 years old.Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

5 random things.....

1. I don't feel like my day has really started until I check my email, MSN, and Facebook

2. i love reading Dr. Suss books....if i'm feeling grumpy and I read one of his books to the kids I immediatly feel better

3. i have 2 cats and I can tell what they want by how they look at me or how they meow

4. i always wear slippers when i'm home

5. i really like the age nadia is at because I get to watch High School Musical and Hannah Montana and pretend it's only because she wants to watch them

I tag http://http://caitlinmary.livejournal.com/ and http://nodiggidynodoubt.blogspot.com/ but I don't know how to do with just putting in their names.....can someone teach me?????

Where has the time gone?

2007-12-13T08:20:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I haven't posted sice october 30th!! Now here it is December 13th! Things have been very busy in the Campbell home. We moved November 16th and I must say that I love, love, love our new home. It felt like home from day one. There was no adjustment period, even for the girls or the pets. The very 1st morning we woke up here Rob says to me, this just feels right, and it really does. I hope to have some pictures to post soon. i know we will be staying here for lots of years to come so there will be lots of time for pictures. I look forward to creating many memories with the girls in this house.

The Christmas season is in full swing here. Things are busy busy busy. Today I go to the dr's, toinght I have choir, tomorrow night we have a birthday party for one of Livy's friends, tomorrow Rob's brother arrives for the holidays, Sunday I'm siging with the choir at my mom's church for their Christmas contata, Monday I have my Christmas meeting/party with the board of directors for the family resource center, Tuesday is nadia's Christmas cocert at her school, etc, etc, etc. Rob is planning to take some time off over the holidays and I'm really looking forward to that. What I'm not looking forward to is January 8th...i have to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out that day. YUCK!

Anyway, I need to get ready for the doctor's.

It takes a village to raise a child

2007-10-30T10:11:00.001-05:00

Has anyone else noticed that these days moms try to do it all on their own? It hit me hard last week how much things have changed over the years when it comes to raising children. I remember when I was little my mother was constantly out visiting her friends (other moms) for coffee and chat time while us kids would all play together. Obviously my mom stayed home with us so this was possible, i'm not talking about working moms. Anyway, i'm kind of rambeling here...last week 2 friends and I got together...we are all moms and we all babysit so bewteen the 3 of us there were 11 children there. We had the best day ever! We spent hours outside with the kids and hours inside while the kids played and us mom's talked. We all helped each other with the kids. No one got stressed out, nobody got yelled at, it was great. Since then we've been getting together almost daily. It's great having extra hands when Carson is cranky and it's great having kids for Livy to play with. I come home at the end of the day feeling good and happy. It has just got me thinking of when i was little and my mom would do the same thing. I really think it's why so many moms are "pulling their hair out" these days. It really does take a village to raise a child and when you try to do it all alone it just doesn't work.

Tracy

SOLD

2007-10-23T06:46:00.001-05:00

Well as of today our house is sold...it's supposed to be offical tonight I think. I can't believe how smooth this went. This is the second time we've sold a house without even a sign in the yard! Wish us luck that the move goes so smoothly! We'll be moving some time around November 19th which is great because it will give us time to get settled in before Christmas.

Nadia is having a friend over today after school. I'm happy that she brings friends here but I'm always worried about how things will go with Livy. I know that Nadia needs her own time with her friends but it just seems so unfair to Livy to be left out. I told Nadia that today she would get some time on her own with her friend but for the hour that Carson sleeps she will have to play with Livy in the play room or outside. It would be nice if Livy had some friends too and then she could just play with someone too.

Well that's all i have time for right now...

MLS #

2007-10-14T08:26:00.001-05:00

www.mls.ca

275007

Moving again???

2007-10-14T06:16:00.001-05:00

After only living in our current home for 6 months it seems we may be moving again. When we moved here we had a 2 year plan. Live in this house and pay off debt for 2 years so that at the end of that time we could afford the house we would want to stay in for the duration of our childrens childhood. However, it seems that may be happening 18 months sooner then originally planned. It all started because there was a brand new house build on the street where my borther lives for a realitivly cheap price so I wanted to see it. When we were there we realized why it was cheap...we didn't like it at all. however our real estate agent said while you're here I can take you to a house around the corner that is just being listed tonight. he told us who build it and it was built by the people I've always wanted to build my dream home. We went to see it and we really liked it. We went back several times and endedup deciding to make a conditional offer which they accepted. So this weekend we have been cleaning, painting, decluttering, etc, etc, etc. to get this house ready to list. Our agent called yesterday to say that hewants to show it today and the sign isn't even up. I'm not getting my hopes up that things will go as smoothly as it did last time. As much as I would love to have the house I know these people will be building again so it's not the end of the world. I'm trying not to stress myself out too much.

As for how things are going looking after my nephew...last week was not good. He wasn't feeling well and therefore he cried and cried and screamed and screamed. I found it very diffiuclt. Having a baby to look after changes the whoe dynamic of the house because I have to do things on his schedual not my own.

Anyway, I have lots of cleaning to do this morning...keep your fingers crossed for us :)

sisters at war

2007-09-27T18:38:00.000-06:00

Are my 2 girls the only 2 that seem to fight all the time? Really it is more Nadia at fault then Liv. Liv just wants to be with Nadia and be loved and accepted by her but lately Nadia has been downright nasty to her little sister and it is really making me sad. I keep telling her that she will only ever have1 sister and that she will be her sister for life but nothing I say seems to work. She has her good moments but it's usually only when it's convenient for her, but most of the time she is awful to her. Any advice?

At days end tomorrow I will have finished my1st week looking after my nephew. He is 10 months old and a lot of work. I'm very much out of practice having a baby in the house. I'll keep you updated on how this new experience goes for me.

Well Jude, it appears you may well be the only one left reading my blog but I will keep updating. As for me enjoying my extra time. I don't forsee any extra time in the near future with my nephew here everyday, but I do try to sneek in some time to read a good book every now and then.

Until next time,
Tracy

positive thinking

2007-09-20T10:52:00.000-06:00

so i've been done work for a few days now and i'm doing ok. I know I will miss it and for awhile I could think about was how terrible my fall and winter are going to be. I was feeling sorry for myself and thinking really negativly. I've decided to change my thinking. I really belive that the more positive your outlook the more positive things will happen. I plan to keep myself as busy as possible because I not one of those people who are content to just sit home all day. I find the day just drags on if I do. I'll keep you posted on how i'm doing.

Nadia started grade 1 this year and she is in the French immersion program. I can't get over how quickly she is learning!!! She has already had words for homework that I can't even pronounce!!! I'm not sure how i'll be able to help her as it gets even harder. She had a pretty tough time when I dropped her off on her 1st day. We had only been at this school for 2 months last year and she didn't see any of her friends over the summer so she was really nervous. I was glad when the teacher called me aftershool to say how well she did. Tonight is the offical meet the teacher night so i'm really hoping to hear that she is still doing well.

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I'll try to write more often now that the summer is over...not that I have all that many readers....for those of you that do check in please leave a comment so I know i'm not writing to thin air :)

Is it fall already?

2007-08-20T05:41:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that the summer is almost over. It seems like only yesterday i was getting ready to go back to work and now i'm getting ready to be done. September 16th is my last day and i'm actually very sad about it. I *really* love my job, but it's not just the job, it's how i feel when i'm working there. I'm not just Nadia and Olivia's mom when I'm there. I'm Tracy. I feel valued and confident when i'm there. I know that I do a great job there and the family that runs the campground put their trust in me. Also I truly enjoy the company of the people I work with. in the winter, I go back to being just a mom, and while i do agree that being a mom is the hardest and most important job in the world it is not always the most fullfilling job.

Now to totally change the subject...did any of you give something up when you became a mother? Was there something you used to do that you really enjoyed that now you don't have time for? For me it would be writing poetry. I have books filled with my poems and i haven't written one now in almost 10 years. How do you feel about what you gave up? Do you miss it? Do you think it's possible to do it again? This is where my heards been lately...hope to hear some responses.

2007-07-09T07:36:00.000-06:00

Here are a few pictures of our new house...sorry it's taken me so long to post them. I can't believe how busy I have been!!! Life is good though...I am still working lots and camping most of the time when i'm not working. We just came home last night and are heading back to the trailer tomorrow night for the week. I have a teenager starting to babysit the girls at the camp ground on Wednesday...we'll see how that goes. I have mixed feelings about it.

Well, I have lots to get done today so I've gotta go. I'll try and write a full post some time soon.

Update on being back to work

2007-05-02T16:11:00.000-06:00

Well i've been back to work for 2 weeks now and things are going well. Work is good. i like what I do and *really* enjoy the people I work with. The kids have done pretty good with me going back. They really enjoy spending time with lisa and she never has any problems with them (it seems they save up the bad behaviour for when I get home). Livy has had her share of melt downs when i get home but she hasn't been napping so i'm sure that's a big part of it. next week I start doing 10 hour shifts and since the days aren't very busy at work right now I expect I'll have lots of spare time on my hands. Any good book suggestions?

Going back to work

2007-04-20T09:09:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow i return to work. I've been off since September and over these past 7 months all i've thought about was going back to work. To me work was like a vacation. it was the first time in 5 years i had any "me" time, and i loved it! however now that the day is almost here I have very mixed feelings about it. I do love my job and I want to go back, i just hate that it is so soon after the loss of Rob's dad and our move, as all these changes have been super hard on Olivia. She doesn't leave my side. She even sits on her little stool in the bathroom while I take a shower. If I sit down, she sits on me. If i leave the room, she follows. It's been driving me a bit crazy but I know that it is only temporary. I'm not sure how me going to work is going to affect her. It helps that my best fried (Livy's Auntie) will be keeping her until Nadia get's done school in June, but it will still be hard. I'll keep you posted on how we all adjust.

Thanks for your kind words on my last post Roni and jude! I really apprciate your thoughtfulness.

so glad that is done with

2007-04-18T06:57:00.000-06:00

Well, we are all moved in. However, I don't think our move will ever be thought of with happy thoughts as the loss of Rob's dad will always be associated with that time. Rob's dad passed away the night before we moved. Nadia was devestated! This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with as a mom yet. She was so upset. Violently shaking and sobing and crying out for her Grampy. It broke my heart to see her in such pain. Rob's dad was 83 but he wasn't the kind of man who wanted his grandkids to be seen and not heard. He had tea parties with them every visit. he held them on his knee and listened to them talk about their day. He hugged them every chance he got and always told them how much he loved them. When he was in the hospital his room was filled with pictures they drew and colored for him. he showed every nurse, every doctor, every visiter. When he found out he was going to die and they transfered him to a private room, those pictures were all he cared about. We took the girls to visit him on Monday and we held them both up because he couldn't sit up. He reached out his hand to touch them and i'll never forget the look in his eyes. The look of knowledge that this would be the last time he got to see them. He loved my girls and they loved him. Nadia asked me how she would remember him because she's afraid she will forget. I told her we have to talk about him every day and look at his pictures and that would keep his memory alive in our heart forever.

So needless to say, i'm glad that the move is over and that the past month is behind us. Nadia has started at her new school and is doing well. She is making new friends and really likes her teacher. i start back to work on Saturday. It sure is a lot of changes for my girls.

Overwhelmed and exhusted

2007-04-08T10:14:00.000-06:00

Rob got devestating news last night. his dad is dying. They took him in for an emergcy surgery yesterday evening and found that he has bowel cancer and there is nothing they can do but make him comfortable. His dad was still really dopey from being put under when they left at 10:00pm last night so they went back to do to give him the news. Actually by now i'm sure they've told him. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to tell my father that he is going to die and that he most likly will never be outside of the hospital again.

So Rob has been at the hospital a lot this week. Thursday they tried a procedure to help his dad and it took 9 hours, Friday we all went to visit and yesterday was the surgery where they found the cancer. We move on Wednesday.....i don't know how we will be ready. I'm trying to get it done....but i'm so tired. We probably have 75% of our stuff packed and I paked 65% of that all by myself. I'm beat! But when I start to feel sorry myself I think of how Rob is feeling....He is overwhelmed too...this was his weekend to pack and now this happens. He says he is going to stay up all night tonight and pack, but I hate to see him do that.

anyway, this is really just another vent from me. Please be thinking of Rob's family.

please let me vent

2007-04-02T13:19:00.000-06:00

This post is a vent for me...please don't find me selfish for how I'm feeling....

I really feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now and I'm seriously worried that I'm going to loose it...1st of all we have the move happening next week. I'm so excited about it and if packing was the only thing I had to worry about then everything would be fine but unfortunatly Rob's dad is in the hospital and he has been for almost 3 weeks and there really isn't any sign of him getting out any time soon. He is in the Saint John hosptial so Rob hasbeen driving to work in Moncton and then driving to Saint John every other day. That has been hard enough on me (having to deal with the kids those days) but I've been managing, and we go with him accassionaly. Fast forward to today....Rob's sister came down from NS to stay for awhile. She is sleeping at Rob's dad's place but I have to cook for her while she's here...no big deal, really. The big deal is that even though she is here with her own car she wants Rob to drive her to the hosptial EVERY DAY when he gets home from work. EVERYDAY!!! How am I supposed to pack, clean and look after our children with no help? When i questioned Rob on why she couldn't drive herself once in awhile he got angry with me!!! i'm just so stressed out and I don't know what to do right now.....maybe I am just selfish

Finally!!!!!

2007-04-01T18:18:00.002-06:00

Well, it seems my blog is working now....i'm really not sure what was wrong or why it all of a sudden is working, and of coarse, now that it is, I don't even feel like I really have any thing of intrest to write about.

The closing date for our new home is April 11 and I can't wait! I am so sick of having boxes every where. We starting packing early so that the house would be decultterd for showings and then we didn't end up having to show it. We decided it would still be smart to pack what we could so we have had boxes every where for the past month and it's driving me crazy!!! I just can't wait to get settled in to the new house. I return to work April 21 so unpacking will need to happen quickly.

Nadia will start at her new school April16 and i'm soooo nervous for her. She is such an outgoing little girl and she makes friends so easy but I hate that i'm making her start over. I'm sure i'm more sad about it then she is. I took her to meet her classmates last week and she did fine. At first she was clinging to my legs (so out of character for her) and she never did want me to leave but in the end she wanted to go back to that school and not her current one.

On to a completly different topic. I LOVE FACEBOOK! if you haven't checked it out yet you really need to. I'm warning you that it's very addictive! I've gotten in contact with so many of my friends from highschool and college. It's great!

Well, It's getting late and I have a good book waiting for me in bed....hopefully my blog won't give me any more problems and I can keep you all updated with our move. I'll try to have some pictures to post soon too.

testing again

2007-04-01T18:18:00.001-06:00

test

trying again...if this doesn't work I'll try emailing blogger like Jude suggested. I didn't even think about doing that before.

2007-03-27T14:47:00.001-06:00

Rob is trying to get my blog working for me

2007-03-22T19:04:00.001-06:00