For the Long haul

Down

2009-12-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

For once that's a good thing! I debated whether I would put this on the blog or not since it would be admitting that I had 25 pounds to lose (honestly more to go), and it's probably more information than you care to know. But, I've worked hard to get here and I'm happy to finally see the scale going in the right direction and I'm hoping it will be another way to keep me accountable =). Between pregnancy weight and my grieving with food in the beginning, I was pretty discouraged. At the beginning of October I'd had enough and decided to go to Weight Watchers. I'm so glad I did! I've given myself a little wiggle room for the holidays and being out of town, so I was really excited when I hit my 25 pounds goal yesterday. It's amazing how excited I can get over silly little charms, but I love tangible things. Hurray for positive things to celebrate! Here's to hoping I can continue to lose!

Remembering at Christmas

2009-12-06T17:35:00.000-05:00

Walking With You was created by Kelly of Sufficient Grace Ministries to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share our stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more. To join in on Walking With You please visit Kelly's blog.

If you are missing someone you love this Christmas, someone of ANY age who is spending Christmas with Jesus this year, I hope you will join us on this very special Walking With You. We are sharing our Christmas memories and the ways that we remember our loved ones who have gone home to heaven at Christmas time.

I have to admit this season has brought back emotions I haven't felt so strongly in awhile. I'll always miss Ethan, but thinking about the holidays and all the things I thought we would be doing together this year is hard. This is a picture from last year, when we were still basking in the joy of finally being pregnant. Baby Long, as we referred to Ethan in the beginning, had presents already and it was fun to display them under the tree and think about him using them.

This year looks different. It's a sobering fact to know he won't be here this Christmas or any others until we get to Heaven. Spending Christmas with the One the holiday is all about (Jesus) is better anyways. I keep trying to remind myself of that fact.

There are a few ways that we are going to remember Ethan this year. I have been on a mission to find the perfect Christmas ornament. I wanted to find one that celebrated his birth but didn't say '1st Christmas' and that acknowledged that he was a gift. I got a little carried away and ended up with three, but I think that's okay. You can probably tell by now that I like 'Snowbabies', and it was so fitting to me that they said what I wanted to say. One has Ethan's name on it, one says 'Gift from God' and another says 'From God 2009'.

My hometown church also has a memory tree with ornaments for loved ones who have passed away this year. I don't have a picture of that yet, but I hope to take one before the season is over. Ethan and my great uncle Larry also have ornaments on this tree.

We are also choosing a name off the Christmas Wish tree at church. We are hoping to love on another little boy in need this Christmas and hope to make 'adopting' a boy at Christmas a tradition. Ethan has everything he needs, but there are other little boys out there we can help.

Stella Mae's

2009-11-18T13:06:00.001-05:00

It's official, Mom and I finally have an Etsy shop! Stella Mae's will be a place for us to sell the things we love to make. Festivals and craft shows are fun, but it is nice to have a website we can give to those who ask. Right now it only has two items, but there are more to come in the next few weeks. We have many more choices for dresses, so feel free to check out our flickr pictures. I will be taking pictures of Mom's hair bows over the holidays, so what you see is definitely a work in progress. We'll see how it goes!

Intentional Faith

2009-11-12T17:50:00.000-05:00

Waking up the night of our last baby shower, and realizing something was wrong was not part of my plan. On our way to the hospital, I was pretty calm. In my head, I kept repeating scripture from Proverbs: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." And I believed. At the time, I didn't realize what the path would be. That His path would mean a painful journey to a new place without Ethan. Honestly, I am glad I didn't grasp how hard it would be. I believed we would be in Georgia a little longer, and that Ethan would still come home with us.

But God didn't direct things the way I thought he would. His hands were present, and I felt that. But it was harder to have faith on a rockier path. I couldn't see what was up ahead and I was frustrated and angry that I wasn't on the path I had chosen. I struggled seeing other people on the path I wanted to be on. I felt left behind.

Losing Ethan made me realize how intentional faith is. To me, intentional implies a choice. It's not that things weren't a choice before, but they were easy and convenient. Before I believed. Honestly, it wasn't difficult. Life wasn't always perfect, but I never lacked the important things and faith was homey, comfortable. I was raised in a loving home and a community full of believers. I've had cherished family and friends close by to lean on during every season of my life.

This past year has been the most trying I have ever experienced. I know it doesn't come close to the trials of others, but I do have a taste of what intentional faith means. What it is like to choose it. And as He promised, His grace is sufficient. I still have 'path envy' sometimes, and it's not easy to trust in the path God has put me on. I don't have it all together, and I definitely don't always make the right decisions. Though it doesn't always feel like it, this path has it's benefits. It's not quite so steep when I'm not fighting it's direction. It's like trusting the guide instead of trying to venture off on my own. I know God is much bigger than that, but the point is, He knows what's best. Having a more intentional faith didn't change what I believed, but realizing the choice did make it mean more. There's comfort in knowing that I don't have to know the way, I just have to choose faith in the One who does.

Only in Walmart...

2009-11-04T18:36:00.001-05:00

can you be scared by birds flying inside the store. Not just one, three! It's not a great pic, but you get the idea (birds circled). I guess they like to be warm too =)

Half Birthday

2009-10-28T15:52:00.004-04:00

Today is your six month birthday baby boy! I have to admit, this is a birthday that was harder than I anticipated. I think it's because this time of year is when it all began. Last year at this time, we were one day away from finding out you existed. At Thanksgiving, we told family and were so excited. We spent Christmas in Texas, but you got so many presents from family and we didn't even know yet if you were a boy or a girl!

It's gloomy outside today. Earlier it rained, and now it's cloud-heavy and gray. No sun in sight and the trees are almost bare. Kinda like Mommy's emotions today. My body recognizes the approaching date before my mind does. It a guttural ache that reminds me of all that is missing. The holidays that will happen in the next few months that you won't be with us to celebrate. Seeing all my friends celebrating with their kiddos, all the babies and pregnant women at church, and even the stupid mailers I still get from Target and Babies-r-us reaffirms that for me.

I got some books I ordered in the mail today. Kinda fitting since two of them have to do with you! I'll Hold you in Heaven and Mommy, Please Don't Cry: There Are No Tears in Heaven are all about you, sweet boy. There is comfort in knowing others are feeling the same way, and it helps to read blogs and books that remind me it's okay to miss you.

The fact is, all the wanting and wishing in the world won't bring you back to us in this life. Instead, I'm trying to focus on remembering you in the ways I can. Mommy is looking for the perfect ornament to put on the tree. I'm also trying to decide if we will do a box for Samaritan's Purse, for a little boy 2-4 years old, or if we will try to sponsor a child locally that would be your age. Whatever we decide, it is something I want to do every year to honor your memory. Focusing on others helps, or at least it has so far.

God has a plan, I know that and I cling to that truth even when I don't see or understand it. In so many ways you are blessed because you have missed out on all of the hurts of this world. We love you so much!!

Revelation 21:4 (New International Version)- He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Random things about me =)

2009-10-26T15:26:00.009-04:00

My sweet friend Sarah gave me a bloggy award. I'm not sure I have 10 interesting honest things to say, so we'll go with random. Bear with me, they may be a stretch =)

1. I used to have a belly ring. It was probably the most rebellious thing I did in college, and I asked my mom first (yup, call me a wild child). I don't think she was thrilled, but she let me do it anyway. At least I could take it out when I got tired of it.

2.I currently have a favorite spice. Yes, this is possible. I don't know where cumin has been all my life, but at the very least tacos and salsa would never be the same at our house.

3. I love trying out recipes. I'm not really all about fancy recipes, and lately I've been trying some of the recipes I've seen on blogs. Our current favorites are meatballs and salsa (pico style and Chili's style). I really want to try these cinnamon rolls for the holidays.

4. I love, love my dogs. I had dogs growing up. As much as I loved them, it isn't the same as these two. They will always be our first two 'babies', and I think they have especially helped us cope over the past 6 months.

5. I have an obsession with fabric and sewing, and it honestly just started about 6 months ago! It doesn't come easy to me, but I love looking at fabrics (even if it's oogling) and thinking about all the things I can make with it. Quilting is one of my favorite things to do, and I love that they are so useful!

6. I always thought I would live in Georgia my whole life. Marrying Bri and moving to Texas and then New York have been two of the biggest leaps from my comfort I have made. He's worth it though =).

7. I'm not a huge decorator, but I have an obsession with Christmas decorations. I have two sets of Christmas dishes. Yep, two. One I got for a wedding present and has snowmen on it, and the others Mom and I collected. They have a western snowman theme, and they make me smile!

From For the Long haul

Ignore the broken chair, it was a casualty of the move to Texas.

8. Which reminds me, have I ever told you we moved to Texas in a cattle trailer? Renting a U-haul was beyond our just married budget, and Brian's Uncle was kind enough to lend it to us. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought hillbillies were moving in next door, but it was free and I'd do it again if our stuff would still fit!

9. I'm attempting to read through the Bible in a year. It's something that has always intimidated me, but I found a schedule that I liked (on Prayer of Hannah) and have really learned a lot so far. If your interested, here's the link.

10. When we got our New York driver's licenses, we decided to get the enhanced ones so that hopefully we could visit Canada before we move again. This was before the big hoopla about scanners being able to read them. I'm really funny about my privacy (not in a build a bunker kinda way) and was a little freaked out by this. Have no fears, because when they came in the mail they included radioactive sleeves to keep them in. I definitely keep mine in the sleeve, but it didn't exactly calm my fears and I get funny looks if someone needs to see my driver's license and I have to pull it out!

Now aren't you glad you know those things about me now?

I nominate Shannon, Heather, and Donna. Play along if you want gals!

Here are the rules:

1. Say thanks and give a link to the one who gave you the award.
2. Share 10 honest things about yourself.
3. Present this award to 3 other fantastically brilliant blogs of content or design, or peeps that have encouraged you.
4. Tell those 3 people they've been awarded and make sure they're informed of these guidelines.

Oh how I love fall!

2009-10-21T14:24:00.005-04:00

The pups and I went for a walk in the field behind our apartment. I'm sure you can tell I have a slight obsession with fall by now, but I can't help myself.

I love the crunch of leaves under your feet and the way you are surrounded by colors.

The air smells different, and the sun isn't so harsh, but still warm.We've had absolutely beautiful weather up here the past two days and my heart is soaking it up.

The perfect leaves are neat, but I think I like the imperfect ones the best.

The dogs were a good excuse, but I think we all needed a little time outside!

Our First New York Snow

2009-10-18T15:48:00.010-04:00

October 15th started out innocently enough...I looked out the window and saw tiny snowflakes! While I do like snow, I'm not quite ready to settle in for the winter =). I wasn't too worried because it was a 'wet' snow and wasn't sticking.

We got up the next morning and this is what we found (the same chair the next day). Toby was completely beside himself. He inspected the entire yard and pulled me around everywhere. Gracie wasn't so excited though, her hair was a snow magnet and when we went back inside her feet looked like dust mops! It didn't last forever, but we got our first taste. Hopefully we'll get to enjoy fall a little while longer before we get snow that stays around.

Happy Fall y'all =)

Remembering

2009-10-15T13:40:00.007-04:00

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. It's a day to remember all the little ones who have passed away.

For all the families who didn't get to hear that sweet cry, nibble on little toes, and feel that sweet breath. You are not alone.

I will be lighting a candle tonight to remember Ethan and all the other little ones.

There are several resources out there for pregnancy and infant loss:

Sufficient Grace Ministries blog and website: Kelly was kind enough to send us a Memories of you book
To Write Their Names in the Sand: To see Ethan's name in the sand click here
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep: Taking precious professional photographs, we will treasure our pictures of Ethan always
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We love you and miss you sweet boy!!

Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

2009-10-10T19:31:00.007-04:00

I chose this book because the cover caught my eye. “The love she most desires…the respect he desperately needs”. I was intrigued because though I’ve heard sermons on loving one another, I can’t say that the man’s need for respect is really discussed. Dr. Eggerichs focuses on Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (NIV) to explain what men and women need in a marriage.

I appreciated his fresh perspective and the way he uses common marital discussions (at least in our house) to illustrate the differences between husbands and wives. He breaks the book into three parts, focusing first on the crazy cycle men and women get into when they don’t understand what the other needs. The second part provides specific examples of needs (openness, insight, etc.) and each chapter ends with ways to meet that need. The third part goes beyond the marriage relationship and explains why love and respect should be unconditional.

The examples he provided make the book easy to read and applicable. I hate when you read a book with standards too lofty to actually put into place. You won’t walk away from this book feeling like the ideals presented are unattainable, his message is simple and unique and the examples are reasonable. I would definitely recommend this book to others seeking to better understand their spouse.

Ethan's name in the sand

2009-10-08T16:09:00.004-04:00

There is a wonderful site organized by a family that writes the names of children who have passed away in the sand and photographs them (for free). This family has also experienced a loss of their own and do this as a way to honor their son Christian's memory.

Amie was kind enough to tell me about this site and I submitted Ethan's name. Ethan's picture is now up! Below is the link:

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2009/10/ethan-mckinley.html

If you go look at the picture would you leave a comment and tell them thanks? I want them to know that what they do is very much appreciated!

Five Months

2009-09-28T18:29:00.004-04:00

That's the monkey Pat, Tasha and Granny got you! Though you didn't get to see it, it reminds me a lot of you so it sits on my nightstand (Mommy was going to decorate your room with monkeys). When I miss you most, I can always hold your monkey and listen to the music I did when you were born. It's the one I always played for us when work got stressful and I hoped to play it for you when you were fussy because it's so soothing to me. As much as I love it, I bet it doesn't hold a candle to the music you get to listen to now.

Love you and miss you!!

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Snuggling

2009-09-23T17:59:00.002-04:00

Nothing beats a weekend nap on the couch with our pups!

Google Voice

2009-09-17T01:03:00.006-04:00

Have you heard of Google Voice yet? If you're like us, you don't want to change your cell phone numbers every time you move. We don't want a land line either because we wouldn't use it enough to make it worth it. It can be useful to have a local number in certain instances, like when hubby's cell phone dies and he needs to get in touch with me =)

This is were Google Voice pretty much rocks! I can't explain how it all works, but it is wonderful and free. We were able to get a number that is local, and it forwards to my cell phone (you can forward to multiple numbers and change the number or numbers later on). Once it rings, I can either answer or let it go to voice-mail. If it goes to voice-mail, I then get a text message and email with the text of the message. We have weird reception in our apartment, so sometimes when my phone doesn't ring I will get the email and realize I missed a call.

We have giggled a few times over how google transcribes the messages. I don't think they quite get Bri's southern accent:

Voicemail one:

This is Google's translation:
"Hey couldn't get you on your cellphone. So now I'm trying your home phone number file. Alright champ. Anyway, I'll be there is couple of minutes. Bye"

Voicemail two:

This is Google's translation:
"Hi Baby, It's me, just calling for Yeltsin alright. Bye."

Not knocking them at all, we love the service! Just thought you might enjoy a little laugh at how our southern accents trip it up. If your interested in the service, click on the link below and you can request a number and take a video tour.

Google Voice

Do you use other Google products like reader and analytics? I love both! I know I sound like a Google ad, but if you want to know more about them let me know and I can give you the 'dummy' tour =)

Mama and I were busy...

2009-09-14T20:38:00.004-04:00

We had a good visit last week! Neither one of us likes to sit still, so we needed something to keep us entertained (Bri told her that he knows where my inability to sit still comes from now =). What started as another pillowcase dress for Reagan and a few friends turned into a potential side job for me. Below is a link to some of the different dresses we made:

We had a lot of fun, and I got to feed my fabric obsession! Several things worked out this past week that made me think I should give it a try. We'll see what happens!

Buffalo Chicken Dip

2009-09-04T10:33:00.005-04:00

Boomama is hosting a 'Diptacular' today and seeing as I love all things 'Dip', I thought I would participate.

My Aunt introduced me to this recipe and I love it! It goes great with fritos or tortilla chips.

2 cans of white meat chicken, drained
2 pkgs of cream cheese, softened
1 cup of Franks Red Hot Buffalo wing sauce (more to taste)
3/4 cup of ranch dressing
2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese

Spread the cream cheese on the bottom of a 9 X 13 pan. In a medium bowl, crumble the chicken and mix with the buffalo wing sauce and ranch dressing. Spread chicken mixture over the layer of cream cheese and top with the shredded cheese. Bake for 30 mins at 350 and you're done!

I heart RiteAid!

2009-08-31T14:14:00.006-04:00

I'm still new at this drug store savings stuff, so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my Single Check Rebate (SCR) for this month. (Okay, who am kidding, I was so excited I called Bri and my Mom. I lead an exciting life!). I'm sure people can do better, but it is amazing to me that I have been missing out all this time. The RiteAid system is so easy, and I like that you get a check back rather than 'store bucks' that you have to keep up with until you redeem them. So here's what I got this month along with the breakdown:

(Ignore some of the partially used things, I promise they were full when I got them =))

In a few different trips over the month I bought:

-Garnier Fructis Conditioner
-Crest Pro Health Toothpaste
-Zantac Cool mint tablets
-Dawn Apple Dish Soap
-Oxy Clean powder
-Pledge Fabric Sweeper
-Aussie Moist Conditioner (x2)
-Zyrtec 40 ct
-Zyrtec 30 ct
-Replenish Contact solution
-Tampax Pearls 40 ct
-Tampax Pearls 20 ct
-Total Advanced Toothpaste
-Tylenol 8Hr

Keep in mind that this is all brand name stuff, and many things are usually pretty expensive (Zantac being the biggie).

With tax, that's a total of $72.31 spent this month. But, guess how much I'm getting back as a rebate check? $50.77!!!! So, I got all that stuff for $21.54 including tax. My biggest rebate is because of the Zyrtec I bought combined with the Tylenol. Tylenol that I bought because it was free and I had a coupon, so it earned me a dollar. I didn't even realize it was part of J&J's rebate and I got $25 because I spent $50 on selected J&J products (keep in mind this is before all the coupons and SCRs which is another neat thing about Rite Aid. I didn't spend anywhere close to $50 on these three things. Rite Aid also has a Zyrtec Rewards program that I'm also earning towards, so they aren't stingy on rebates).

Rite Aid is great at pairing up Single Check Rebate items with coupons that are in the paper (they even tell you about some of them in their circular). Several of these things are free and can even earn you money if you use the coupons (toothpastes, contact solution, Tylenol and Zantac above) . All you have to do is watch the circular and look at the rebates online. Honestly there are several sites that list them weekly which makes it even easier.

Happy Shopping!!

Four Months

2009-08-28T14:10:00.005-04:00

I can't believe it's been four months, Ethan. Honestly, I think it is still sinking in. This has been the month where my mind has forgotten you are gone for brief moments. Where my heart cringes when we rearrange the guest room because I wonder where your crib will go. Or I see some fabric and think "That will look great in Ethan's quilt". Seeing the little John Deere hat that Mimi and Pops got you that matches Daddy's hat. Reality rushes in quickly, I try not to focus on what could have been. Regardless of how things turned out, I wouldn't give up all the joy you did bring us when you were here. Oh how I miss you sweet boy!

Things that make me smile

2009-08-20T14:46:00.011-04:00

Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are things in my life that make me happy. I just struggle with the things that aren't the way I would choose them to be (losing Ethan, moving again, being unemployed). Don't get me wrong, I know I'm blessed. I just need to sit down every once in awhile and 'choose joy'. Here are just a few of the things that make me smile:

- I have a hubby that loves me, even though I can be difficult. He knows how to make me smile for sure.

- I get to spend time with my doggies every day. Who wouldn't love spending time with these two cuties!

- These pics definitely makes me smile. I think this is the first time I truly laughed after we lost Ethan. Bri was trying to bake a cake for work (they have a birthday tradition where people bring in a cake when it's there turn) and it quickly went down hill. We salvaged it though (cutting off the crustier pieces and adding brownies).

- I have great friends and family all over the country! When days get tough I know I have people I can count on.

- Being unemployed has allowed me to test out my crafty side. Making things for other people really makes me happy!

- Learning how to 'coupon' better. Thanks to Jen, who finally made drugstore shopping make sense! I get excited (yup folks, I live an exciting life =) when I can get things for free or much cheaper.

- Seeing other people who have also had a baby born still go on to have another baby. I don't know the family personally, but have followed their story through friends and they had a baby girl yesterday. It gives me hope that one day we might have a little one on earth too!

Walking with you ~ The things people say

2009-08-16T15:05:00.003-04:00

Walking with you was created by Kelly at Sufficient Grace Ministries as a way to support those of us who have lost a child. While I read these posts weekly, I have been observing rather than participating because many things are still too fresh for me. This week's topic was something I wanted to share in though as I think it's something that many people struggle with.

Here's the topic for this week:"... we are sharing some of the things that people said to us while we were in the throws of grief...for better or for worse. Losing a child changes a person, and along with that comes changes in our relationships with friends and relatives. In some ways, our new perspective reveals what's really important in life, and who really cares about us."

I should probably start with two disclaimers. 1) Everyone grieves differently, so what is hurtful to some may not be to others. 2) If you have said anything hurtful that I list below, don't let that discourage you from reaching out in the future. I would rather have something said to me in love that hurt than to be avoided all together.

I have been very blessed to have been supported by a wide range of people. Placed in their shoes (someone who hasn't lost a child), I can't honestly say I would be able to respond as well. I can give you a few clues into what can be offensive/hurtful:

- "You can always have other children": Whether this is true or not, the ability to have more children doesn't absolve the grief over losing our child. Children aren't interchangeable. Getting and staying pregnant isn't easy for everyone either.

- Asking "How are you?" as a social statement rather than wanting to know the answer. Grief makes people uncomfortable, but if you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question. Know that if you do ask, you could get a reaction of tears or smiles depending on the moment. Sometimes just knowing others are truly interested is the best kind of support.

If you're like me, you don't necessarily know what to say. I can tell you a few things are are helpful to me:

- Do know it's okay to admit you don't know what to say. Even saying 'I love you', 'I'm thinking of you', or 'I'm praying for you' means a lot. Even silence is okay, knowing your intention is what is important =).

- If you want to talk about Ethan, that's okay. I think one of the things most who have lost a child so early fear is that their child will be forgotten.

- Tell me what is going on with you, even if it involves your children. Some of the best conversations I've had since we lost Ethan has been about simple, everyday things. I can't promise I won't get teary, or that I don't say things that are awkward, but knowing we can both be honest is so helpful.

There are many other things that can be said that have already been covered by others better than I could express them (particularly spiritual sentiments people will say). You can click the icon above to see Kelly's post (as well as links to others who have lost a child). I also like Molly Piper's post on this topic as well as the others in her series on grief.

Thanks for letting me think things through on the blog once again, and for all the support you've provided along the way!

Daddy's trip to Ithaca

2009-08-12T15:30:00.002-04:00

I was fortunate enough to have my Daddy come visit me up in Ithaca. He hadn't seen Ithaca yet and I knew he was going to love it. Sitting still isn't one of his 'things' and I was all too happy to get out of the house. It was wonderful to have someone to explore the town with and just have some one-on-one time. We took a ton of pics, mostly of the scenery, so I put album links instead of all the pics. Bear with me, I'm just now figuring out Picasa =)

One of the things Ithaca is known for is all the great hiking and waterfalls. The first day, we decided to get out and see Buttermilk falls. What you see from the bottom is nothing like what you can see along the trails. We were both a little surprised at the steepness in the beginning, but it was absolutely gorgeous!

The next day we went to Taughannock state park to see the huge waterfall there. Unlike Buttermilk, you can see the whole thing when you reach the end which is pretty neat. We walked the gorge trail and it is amazing how all of it is carved out.

2009_07_29

Afterward, we went on the hunt to see the Amish. I have a childhood fascination with the Amish, their sense of community and forgiveness are something I admire. Though I see horse and buggy signs a lot I'd never seen any in Ithaca. Bri heard about a town where some Amish folks lived, and Daddy and I struck out! Sure enough, driving through the town were three little boys (one poking his head out the back). We kept driving, admiring the scenery when we saw a sign for fresh produce. We decided to stop and it was run by the Amish! We got some of the best cheese I have EVER had. What a neat little experience!

Dad and I also ventured to see Cornell Plantations. It amazes me that at the end of July they had so many flowers in bloom, but they did. Dad being a landscaper, we had fun walking through the garden and the arboretum.

2009_07_30

And, because he loves me, we went to the mall too. We went to Elmira and looked around. The malls here are much different than Georgia and Texas, but that's probably to my benefit since it means I don't spend money there =). Let's just say that the Ithaca Mall has a setup in the old Abercrombie store with tractors!

On the last day, Brian took Saturday off and we went to Cooperstown. Cooperstown is home of the Baseball Hall of Fame and also has a Farmer's museum. Lots and lots of Yankees and Red Soxs fans for sure! I mainly took pics of the Braves and Texas stuff, but I had to sneak in a pic of Babe. The farmer's museum was neat, but I think by that point we were all pretty worn out. I'd love to go again and spend a weekend there, it was a really cute little town.

2009_08_01

I love you Daddy! Thank you for coming to explore with me =)

Reagan's pillowcase dress

2009-08-07T13:48:00.004-04:00

Quilting has opened up my world to a love of fabric. I have been ogling this fruit fabric at Joann's for awhile, but the print was bigger than I would use on the small quilts I've been making. I have seen pictures of little girls in pillowcase dresses lately and think they are adorable! Since I don't have a little girl right now, I decided to make one for Reagan. I was waiting to post the pictures until my Dad was able to bring the dress home (it was a surprise for my niece and sister-in-law).

Honestly, one of the things I love the most about blogs and the internet these days is that you can find free patterns for all kinds of things. I'm going to make her a few more since it was so easy to make. I've seen them worn as dresses, with jeans, and with long sleeve shirts under them so they are pretty versatile. Without further ado, here it is!!

I'll post pictures of the adventures my Dad and I had together later this week. It was nice to have my Dad here to explore Ithaca with and the weather is perfect right now. We both like to keep busy, and there are several places to hike around here. Pictures to come...

Three Months

2009-07-27T23:49:00.003-04:00

Sweet baby, has it really been three months? Mommy misses you always Ethan, but the 28ths are always the hardest.

When you were first born, it was like time stood still. We were grieving, but I don't think I completely understood that time was passing. I am starting to realize now how much things have changed over the past few months. I had two friends in Texas that were also pregnant with me. I am close to both, and was blessed to have sweet women to share the experience. Leah and I walked nearly every day and dreamed about what our babies would be like. Jenn was so happy to hear that you were finally on the way. She knew how much Mommy wanted a baby for a long time, and I loved being able to talk to her about you too. Our co-workers even through us a joint baby shower the week before Daddy and I left Texas. It was perfect way to celebrate three little babies and a complete surprise to me! Then you came at the end of April instead of in July. Baby E was born in June and baby S in July after your due date. I was so relieved to hear that everyone was safe, but I couldn't help but think of you too. Such bittersweet emotions to be so completely happy that everyone is safe and sad that you aren't here. I'm so glad that my friends still allow me to celebrate with them and see their little ones grow. They, along with countless others, have supported us so much even though I know it isn't easy.

Your pictures are on the fireplace and I get to see your precious face everyday now. One of my favorite pictures is just of the back of your head. I remember how excited I was that you had dark wavy hair. I had a dream a few weeks before that you had dark hair, but Daddy didn't think you would since both of us had light hair as babies. We couldn't decide who you looked most like, a good blend of both I think.

You were loved on by so much family that day. Your Grandma and Grandpa, Mimi and Pops, Aunts and Uncles, Nana and Papa, and Aunt Lori. I really wish you had gotten to know everyone, we're quirky, but love each other so much! I don't know what I would do if I didn't believe that God had a plan in all of this and that we will get to see you again someday in Heaven. In the past few weeks I have listened to the song 'Homesick' so many times and dreamed of what it will be like to see you again. One day, baby boy, one day.

We love you so much Ethan!!!!

Yummo Salsa

2009-07-20T19:19:00.004-04:00

Living in Texas for five years definitely spoiled us as far as Tex-mex is concerned. I recently found this fresh salsa/pico de gallo recipe and we are in love! Here's our take as well as the link to the original recipe. It makes a lot, so keep that in mind.

12 Roma tomatoes

1/2 C fresh cilantro

1 onion (we used Vidalia)

10-15 drops tobasco

1 T vinegar

juice of a lime

salt

pepper

1/2-1T garlic salt

1 jalapeno pepper

1/4 t cumin

We don't have a good chopper, so we put it in our little food processor. If you had a chopper (or are better at chopping than I am) it makes a pretty pico too.

The last time we made it, we cut the amount of tomatoes and cilantro in half and used the same amount of the other ingredients in the original recipe. It made it spicier and a better amount for just the two of us, but I wished we would have cut the onion in half (Bri liked it that way though). Enjoy!!

Original Recipe from Finding my feet blog