CRAZED MIND

Keep On Going

2026-04-29T14:37:00.003-05:00

Life has changed in so many ways yet stays constant. I find that I am constantly out moving and helping others. Constant growth while doing what I do best, service. My house is quieter, just Dear Hubby and I, but still filled with the Holy Spirit. Blessed, truly blessed, with family , friends and volunteer opportunities.

Time Sucks

2022-01-18T16:29:00.002-06:00

I am hating this aging process. I find I feel old and ugly all the time. Like I have lost the ability to be me anymore. Has that happen to you. Lost yourself. Do you know how to find yourself again? If so can you help me???

Just Catching Up

2021-10-04T10:49:00.004-05:00

Some time has passed now. My mom passed away in 2020. And I had to clean out her home again. But my sister stayed there. Another gentleman from church had a stroke and it was called on me to clear his home for it to be sold. Also some task of getting things stops he could go into a nursing home. Then I had to clear out my mom’s home a year later from my sister and her family so we could arrange the sale of the house. Yes I have emptied the same home 3 times now. Add in a year of hell from a rebellious teenager that created problems I would have never anticipated. 2020 and 2021 have not even begun to scratch the surface of stress with COVID that I have dealt with on a personal level of life.

Now I can finally start to breathe again. The oldest niece is out of our home from all of the disruptions she has caused. So it is much calmer now. I still care for two grandbabes that are College girl’s kiddos. (Yes she has a little boy this last year!!). Dear Hubby had shoulder surgery this summer. And I should be having knee replacement surgery next week. Things do not slow down but the stress level has really leveled out.

Get to Work

2020-01-21T08:04:00.001-06:00

Still my quiet place here. Like talking in my head. I know it is good to have a way to air my thoughts and feelings and not necessarily what anyone else hears. So what am I feeling lately?

Like giving up. Like I am only here for others when they need the help of some kind. Like I am unnoticed otherwise. Like an instant worker that is called on....robot-like.

I do not get a phone call, text or message from anyone of come visit me, let's have lunch or wanna talk. Instead, I hear when it is, I need help, wanna clean, here is a task that I can't do. I do not feel noticed as a friend or even desired to be with to hang around. Only a worker, doer, someone to complete a job.

It makes me want to just hide. Not reach out. Not let anyone in anymore. Quit where I am at.

Lonely being only asked to work.

The Kiddos?

2019-12-02T07:42:00.000-06:00

Well, I told you that I was caring for my great-nieces and nephew. That has not changed but their place here has. We now have full legal custody of the three kiddos. Having added a 12 yr old, 11 yr old and 4 yr old sure is changing our lives. Yes, it gets louder here than it was. No, we have not gone crazy...yet. But we have found a new pace, a schedule that works for all of us and a peace of mind that we are all working toward a goal.

It is not easy to be looking at your senior years and then all of a sudden be "new" parental units again. Patience is never been my strong suit and I am having to learn how to try and step back and breath more often. But the kids need stability ever so much. So we are doing our best to give them just that.

Now we have talked about College Girl here (who is no longer that title....??? needs new name too) and Dear Hubby and the Grandbabes. So what is the title I need to give these three? Currently, I have been saying the Kiddos. Not sure what works but if you think of something then let me know.

In the mean time, have a great day....happy holiday and know I appreciate you hanging out with me.

Come on God, I need a break

2019-10-07T08:31:00.005-05:00

When I first started this blog many many years ago, it was like an online journal. I never even thought of anyone reading it. Well, it has been pretty well abandoned for a few years now. So most likely does not have any readers anymore. Thus it can once again be my quiet place to write out what is going on inside of me.

Lately, my life has been one big trama after another. From last year at this time trying to care for my dad, Tom who was very ill and not fighting for his life at all. He passed in November of 2018. Then 8 days after that my oldest brother passed unexpectedly. Caring for all the financial and arrangements fell on me 100%. It was horrid to hold up too while keeping myself calm and available on my day to day duties.

Then it was needing to clean out my dad's home who was a hoarder for over 40 years so my mom could move into it within one month. She had to have it as could no longer afford where she was living (due to my brother's death). The 1st room of the house alone was over 2 tons of trash. Honestly not kidding. This was month's long events of cleaning, emptying and moving stuff.

Finally was able to be done with most of that. Breath....right! But then I was tasked with caring for a church member that needed a lot of guidance and help. It was nonending for some time. Also, my oldest grandson was with us for the whole summer. (That was also a blessing.) Oh and of course I care for my young granddaughter daily while her parents work. So day to day life is always busy. Let's add on the evening meals for our missionaries, dinners and bible study each week for church members and of course trying to have some time for my husband too.

Then come August of this year I was tasked to take in my 2 great-nieces and great-nephew. They were taken from their parents due to a CPS case. It is now 3 months later and there is no end in sight as to how long they will be living with us. Having not had much regular scheduled home life it has been very challenging to them as well as us. Lots of fighting and arguing and crying for the first month alone. It is getting better thankfully.

Now this last month we have had my middle brother passed away, my uncle passed away, my father in law in the hospital (serious) and now in nursing home care for rehab, my brother in law in the hospital (bells palsy) and a family reunion to all take in. Of course, added to this is my regular duties, caring for granddaughter, caring for the 3 kiddos here, caring for church members and yes, I amazingly still have a husband around!

It is almost a year now since my dad passed and truthfully I still feel that I have not had time to breathe or even adjust. I would love to crawl in a hole and stay there for a few months honestly. Yes, I am fussing, complaining and blowing off my steam. But this is my place so guess it is okay for me to do it here.

Times are Changing

2019-08-26T15:26:00.000-05:00

Life is always in constant flux. Changing in an ebb and flow, ups and downs, new routines along with old feelings. We learn how to adapt as well as how to cope. There are times that we are elated and others when we are stressed to the max. And with it all, we grow in ways we never anticipated.

With that, I am too changing all the time. My newest day to day life is no longer that of a mid-life empty nester 55+ woman. Instead, I am caring for my grandbabe daily which is very common for this portion of life. I am loving having time with her as she explores. It keeps me busy. But added to that is my task and responsibilities to the members at church. I like being helpful there supporting the other members. Again, a normal part at this stage of life.

And.....I am also now the stand-in parent for 3 young ones. 11, 9 and 4 years old kiddos who are relatives placed in my care while the family is trying to get their life back on track. This is not the norm at my age of life. Having 3 children who are all in elementary school is very trying. I am having to remember to be patient since I have long been more or less just doing what I wish and how I want for some time. The oldest is very trying as she has many times pushed me to my limits as she is trying to find out what is the new norms for her life. The other two are doing their best to just cope without knowing what is going to happen to them.

Now I do not know how long this is going to be for us. But I am aware it will not end soon at all. So, relearning how to be a parent and not a grandparent, aunt, friend, cousin, babysitter....but totally responsible all the time once again.

Silly Fears

2019-01-16T16:43:00.002-06:00

Today I had to have 3 fillings done on my teeth. The dentist was great. He made sure I did not have any pain. And the staff was very caring and friendly.

But I was still scared and nervous. I always am when I have to have dental work done. Heck, I am freaked out for cleanings. It is unreasonable that I have such a fear when I have never had any problems with the dentist. Silly irrational fears!

Do you have an irrational fear? My husband is scared of sharks and has a horrid fear of cotton balls. Honestly! What do you think causes this type of fear? My daughter is scared of mannikins. Who knows why? So what are your thoughts?

For further info here is an article that could open up more understanding.

Long Time No See

2019-01-09T10:38:00.002-06:00

Yeah, it has been a long time since I have been here. And to tell you the truth I totally miss Y'all! So with many things I am doing this year, I think I will come back to my lil home here online. Now I am pretty sure no one else is really here but me, but it will be a good place for me anyway.

So are blogs long gone now? Passe' as they say? But oh well, it started off as a place for me to just talk. Sorta like a personal online journal. Most likely it will be that all over again. If you by any chance came by and visited, then take the time to say a good ol' howdy to me. The comments are just below and it sure would make me smile.

In the meantime, here is a lil bit of joy from me to you!!!

Doing What I Do

2017-05-01T07:39:00.002-05:00

My goodness, I have been one busy lil bee.

Skittering from here to there like a bunny dodging a hawk. But truly that is the way I like things to happen. Me busy, not being to still and having a full day of activity.

Sometimes I wonder why it is that this is what makes me happy. Sure I get tired. Who doesn't? But even in that I still am most often the one who would get up and tackle the next chore.

So an example of a day for me? Well, let's take Sunday of this week. I was up by 6 a.m. and putting up the dinner dishes I had washed the night before. Then I folded a load of laundry, put it up and started the next load to dry. Made a pot of "coffee" (I use Teeccino, a herbal alternative) and set out some items for a quick breakfast. On to the computer to set up the church bulletin and my lesson for relief society. Done with that I hung the second load of laundry and put it up while starting the last load for the day. Then I woke up the hubby at 8 a.m. so he would be ready for church by 9 a.m. Dressed, makeup and gathered up the table clothes I had washed for church this week. Loaded up the car and washed the breakfast dishes up. Got to church and printed the bulletins, set up the music for service and prepared my room for our lessons for relief society. Then was able to visit a bit before church started at 10 a.m. 3 hours later we had finished with sacrament meeting, Sunday school, and our group sessions. Loaded back up my stuff into the car and back home we went. Made lunch, washed up those dishes and put all of them away. Hung up the last load of laundry, cleaned up dog yard (always a stinky job), watered the flowers, herbs and veggie gardens. Sowed the watermelon patch and watered it too. Also fed the chickens, dogs, and cat. Swept the house (oh my the dog hair and dirt!), mopped and started dinner. Made red velvet brownies for dessert, set the table, washed the cooking pots and pans and enjoyed a meal for 6 with our guest. Finished and cleaned the table (twice, once from dinner and again after our dessert), then did up the dinner dishes. By now it is 8 p.m. and was happy to crawl into bed so I could go online some and then read a book before crashing out a 9 p.m. Yeppers that is how a 15 hour day normally looks for me. And to tell the truth, I was not that busy. Just doing as I put it. Did not have to go and clean anyone else's home, care for any other pets than my own and no shopping trips or such.

Snack Time

2017-03-01T07:25:00.002-06:00

Yes, I am hungry. Nothing really new is it? But you know how I love love love carbs....of course, who doesn't. I do not like what all carbs do to me, though. So it is important to get good food that is good for me that taste good and is made well, good. Just how do you hit all of this at one time?

Almondina Toastees is my favorite go to snack. They have the crunch, flavor and just all around amazing....goodness. Now I am a sucker for a good crunchy biscuit. Add in flavors such as Cranberry Almond, Sesame Almond, Coconut Orange or Lemon Poppy and you have snack heaven. Past the wonderful flavors is the factors of no added fat, no cholesterol or salt or trans fat or preservatives. For those who are lactose intolerant they are dairy free!

So what is the negative on this snack treat? NONE, nope not guilt, great flavor and satisfying crunch. So help yourself....soon!

How? Well how about winning some right here. You can win 3 full size packages. My favorite is always cranberry almond. I was shocked at how grat the sesame almond was also, toasted nutty flavor. And who would not want the hawaiian flavors of coconut orange? The Lemon Poppy is perfect with a hot cup of herbal tea. Entry is easy. Just leave a comment here on this post. I will pick a winner by random choice. Make sure you leave your e-mail so I can contact you!

This is a sponsored post that contains affiliate links. I received the product in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

SURPRISE!!!

2017-02-28T12:05:00.000-06:00

Guess what?

Come on.....

Guess.......?

I am going to get to be a new Nonnie once again!

Yes, my baby is having her baby! Such happiness and joy. And of course that means I get to shower her with gifts.

You know what one of the very first ones would be.....

You know.......yes of course.....A BOOK!

I always make sure my grandbabes have plenty of books. And their first one this time will be Baby Touch and Feel "I Love You". It is always great to have a book that is interactive for small hands. Touching the different sensations as well as seeing the bold colors. Also coming this spring, a new lap board book by DK. Cleverly designed in a large trim size, 100 First Words (On-sale March 7, 2017; $9.99) is the start of baby’s learning adventure. Crystal-clear photos show the wonder of the real world, from baby’s body to baby’s food, while delightful illustrations tell simple stories that foster learning, from penguins playing in the snow to a mouse climbing a ladder.

This is a sponsored post that contains affiliate links. I received the product in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

Roasted Goodness

2017-02-28T11:55:00.001-06:00

So fall is over with....

well?

Maybe??

Okay, I am one of those people who is in love with roasted pumpkin......everything!

So I hoard pumpkins for as long as I can to cook with. But eventually I do have to do just that....cook them. Which I do. Just slice in half, scoop out the seeds and roast in the oven.

Then you can scoop out the inside goodness and blend away. Thus you have fresh roasted pumpkin to store in your freezer to use all year.

This year I have a new Ninja Nutri Bowl DUO. It comes complete with a food processor, this all-in-one kitchen innovation combines Ninja’s powerful Nutrient and Vitamin Extraction with the all-new Nutrient Fusion so you can unlock the full potential of ordinary fruits and vegetables while bringing together fresh, vibrant ingredients for flavorful snacks, meals, and desserts.

I had it go head to head with my old Ninja from 2014. Yes! My old one is 3 years old and is still going strong. Ninja's are just that good folks.

So I blended my roasted pumpkin in both of my Ninja's. And surprising enough the texture was the same in both of them. Surprised? Well, I guess I was. I thought maybe one would outdo the other. But hey, you know....a great product is just that, a great product. How wonderful it is to know that a company can put out such quality continuously.

But I will tell you something! Using my new Ninja Nutri Bowl DUO did make it so much easier to make my vanilla pumpkin soup. I was able to use the fusion control and really have an amazingly smooth and creamy soup.

This is a sponsored post that contains affiliate links. I received the product in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

Fresh As A....

2017-02-28T11:22:00.001-06:00

Daisy! Right? Nope....

Lemongrass!

That is it...fresh as lemongrass. Yes, I have finally found a product in lemongrass that I love the scent of. That would be Method Kitchen Hand Wash in lemongrass. It has been in the past with cleaning products that I thought there was an off scent to lemongrass when I have always hoped for something that is light and clean. You can not imagine how happy I was to wash my hands and breath in the scent of a warm summer day!

But here is the best part ever! Method Kitchen Hand Wash also gets rid of those scents that linger when you're fixing the dinner magic. I have had lingering scents of onions, garlic, and ginger all wash away since using this new hand wash. And I am eager to try out the other scents of thyme, clementine and basil!

This is a sponsored post that contains affiliate links. I received the product in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

Spoiled Rotten

2017-02-28T11:11:00.001-06:00

Do you love your pets as if they were your family? Well, I do! My four fur babies are what calm me. Petting them as they wiggle and lick me always makes me laugh. To see such joy from them, knowing how happy they are to just be loved on. It makes me want to do all I can do to show them they are vital and important in my life. Thus a little spoiling here and there goes a long way.

Lately, our youngest is a foster from our city pound. She is all legs and teeth right now. Wanting to chew as it is the stage of puppyhood we all know so well. The best thing we have ever found is to have TONS of toys around for her to have access too. Also not to freak out when there is the occasional slip up on what she decides to chew on. Most often if we as "parents" had kept our belongings out of range then she would not have chewed on them. One of the favorite tail-wagging treats is Pup-peroni sticks. And of course, you know how hard it is for them to eat just one. Thankfully I can break them into bite size bits. I think of these as doggie beef sticks.

Now at the very same time, it is also important to give healthy treats to our four-legged darlings. The deserve to be fed food of quality. I know that good food is important to my diet as well as theirs. We have loved sharing Farmer's Medley Biscuits by Milk-Bone with our fur babies. And I promise you these treats have not gone by the wayside with them like others have. Sometimes they have actually snarled their little lips at dull tasting treats. Instead, these are lapped up and crunched away on in an instant. I really love that my littlest dog can easily eat them!

This is a sponsored post that contains affiliate links. I received the product in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

Rainbow Tint

2017-01-09T06:27:00.000-06:00

You have heard of looking at life through rose colored glasses. Where you try to see life as a "rosy" outlook. Taking it in optimistically. Or better yet smelling the perfume but not feeling the thorns.

Well, I am having a little more skewed outlook. Instead, I am doing my best to see life through rainbow colored eyes. Or more so, prism glasses that create a rainbow hue on the edges of things.

I have one eye that pulls in due to muscle damage. So there are prisms on my glasses to help me with double vision. I am glad for the help and more so for the new outlook on life. If I can remember that inside a person are the rainbow effects I am now seeing on the outside, then I will learn to see their beauty and not their flaws.

I think this is better than just having a rosy outlook on life. Instead, I am truly desiring to see the best of their spirit. Maybe this is a better way to start a new year.

Burrr-diggity

2017-01-06T12:29:00.000-06:00

Oh, my I hate how cold it is getting. Yeah, I am such a wimp to cold weather. My toes and fingers freeze so easy. All I wish to do is find a heater to curl up on top of! Sadly I am not a cat and don't fit within the pipes.

Thus I am wearing 2 pairs of socks and house shoes while I am trying to do some chores around the house. Hopefully moving around will also keep me warm. Of course every now and then I manage to have a hot flash. Lovely menopause! So from freezing pain to melting flesh in 3 seconds. Then of course once I am through sweating all over I go back to freezing. Yet worse since I am now wet with sweat that is then making me even colder.

Okay well off to work around the house and time to keep warm. Have a good day!

Time To Shark It!

2017-01-03T13:40:00.002-06:00

So being that I live in the dustiest town in Texas, my house is in a constant need of cleaning. Let's not add in that it is 90+ years old and has NO insulation of any kind. Top that off with 4 dogs and a cat. (We currently have the "Puppy 5000" going on where they race around the house to see who can stir up the most dirt!) With all these animals I would be crazy if we did not have a doggie door for them to track in even more dirt....I mean go outside to do their daily business of barking and stalking birds. I am sure you can guess that there is dog hair, cat hair, dirt and dust all over my house. I sweep every single day. I also mop every single day. And I dust at least once every single day. Not that you could tell.

So if you do not think I have not used many different ways to clean these floors your as crazy as I am. I have two different vacuum cleaners now and not happy with the way either one of them preforms. Thus that is why I sweep my floors all the time. I have one lil ol thing thing that does nothing but push the dirt around. I mean every time I use it the canister is empty. Thus it sits in the corner collecting even more dust. Beside it is an upright that is supposed to be great. Hepa filter and all...big, bulky and just as useless. I think that these two non suction suckers are just laughing at me every time I turn them on.

Thus, when Shark offered me a new Shark Rocket with Duo Clean technology that will not only do my hardwood floors but also my small carpets, you bet I said yes! The Duo Clean means that there is both a brush and a roller that ensures that both the bigger items and the smaller ones will be picked up. It arrived while I was gone so today I opened up the box to see what was there.
Yes there was a little set up but it was really easy. No worrying on what fit where and how...pretty much look, place, click and go. Also I loved that this was lightweight. I am not lugging around a dragon of a machine. Top it off I can not only clean my floors but I can use the tools to dust (how I need that), clean the pet hair off the furniture, get up high onto the ceiling fans and those cob webs that get up into our 10 foot ceilings (it did reach all the way up too!) as well as under the furniture...even the couch!
You see you can take the small motor portion with the dirt catcher and attach smaller tools or you can put it on the main portion for doing the floors. Really versatile. And a great LONG 30 foot cord. That made me really happy. I plugged in at the front of the house and was able to reach 2/3rds of all of my home without having to change plugs.

Just look at how much dirt it picked up in the front 3 rooms of my house! Yeah that is my hand there and that pile is huge! Dirt, dust, pet hair and all was just on my floors. I did not even get under all the furniture yet!

I am going to use the special tool for going up under the couch, chairs and bed. Here it is fully extended and takes up almost all of my dining table in length. You don't think that will get up under all your furniture?

And when your all done it tucks away easy. You put the motor portion onto a special lil holder so it will not tip over. I placed all of my tools in the carry bag and added it to the machine for storage. Now time for me to toss out the old dragon and wimp cleaners and have a place of honor for my lovely Shark!

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Waltzing Across Texas--Mad Demon Style

2017-01-02T23:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I made a long mad dash across Texas last night to get back home. Crawled in bed at 4:30 a.m. and a short 3.5 hours later I crawled back out. At least I did get some sleep after a 6-hour drive home. And I did make it home safe and sound. So all in all life is going well.

Of course, I needed to get up and get moving to take care of things around the house. I started off with a much-needed bath. Then unloading the car and all the stuff I brought back home with me. I used my chance being in 'the big city' to get me some more Teeccino herbal caffeine free coffee replacement. Our lil town does not have this and it has truly been something that I love to have on hand.

The next stop was 80 miles into my trip home at one of the largest convenience stores ever! Buc-Ee's in Waller Texas is a grocery store size convenience store. Huge...just huge! Anyway, it is also a place that I know I can always find Rufus Teague BBQ sauce. If you are ever looking for the best BBQ sauce in the world then pick up a bottle of Rufus Teague!

Finally at home and going to have to hit the ground running. I have a busy month ahead of me. But first I think I will have a bite to eat and take the time to love on my doggies. They thought I had run off and left them for good!

I DID NOT receive one or more of the products mentioned above for free. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Day 1 Again

2017-01-01T16:41:00.002-06:00

Hey, folks!

Welcome to 2017. You ready for a whole brand new year? Yeah me too. So how is it starting off for you?

Me? Well, I hope that the first day of the year does not totally make up what the year will be like. Why? Well, I am not home, to begin with. As a matter of fact, I am half a state (and in Texas that is some mileage) away from home and without my Dear Hubby. Yeah, house/dog sitting once again. My third home since before Christmas as a matter of fact.

So what does one do that is continually hopping from house to house and spending lots of time alone....(if you don't count all the dogs?) Well I read. LOTS! And I just finished three books this month. One was the Book of Mormon. Yeah, may not be on your reading list but it was on mine. And I did finish it on my schedule as I had hoped. Why is it that we can pop out a novel in no time but when it comes to reading scriptures we drag our feet? It would be lovely if the truth was that we were truly pondering over the words of Heavenly Father. But I bet that the majority of us (those without a halo) are really not focusing as strongly as we should when we are studying the scriptures. I pray that I will change for the better when it comes to learning.

So what else did I just finish? Well, two books by one of my favorite authors, Ken Dalton. You have heard me talk about his books featuring Pinkie and Bear. He has his latest out, The Unsavory Critic, met all of my expectations. I love dropping back in with my friends. Hearing of the latest adventures and travels makes me smile. This time we met up with Pinkie as he is being brushed off by his heartthrob. Then gets mixed up with one too many jobs and not enough of him to get around. Jetting across the country from coast to coast trying to keep from picking up a new pair of cinder boots. Thankfully Bear and Flo are at the ready to jump in and make a skirmish to the west coast and a hop across the pond to chase down a fleeing suspect. Now you know I am not going to tell you what is going on, but I will tell you that I was not let down. Be it the dashing adventure, quick wit or bold storyline....I loved it!

I also want to tell Ken, thank you for making me feel like a million bucks. "Thank You!" You see he was kind enough to have one of my reviews posted on the cover of Brother Can You Spare a Dime? It was listed with my blog name of Crazed Mind. I was tickled as you can imagine.

But this time Ken put up another of my reviews on the cover of The Unsavory Critic. This time it was under my own name, Lenore Webb. Yes, me...not just my blog....me. I screamed with excitement. Once again, thank you, Ken.

Now you would think that having one new book published this year would be quite a feat. But no, not Ken Dalton. He published two! And it is the second book, Polio and Me, that was really worth reading. This one was not a mystery but a true adventure. A real life adventure, one that Ken lived. Here he was able to take us to a time in life that hardships had to be overcome with grit and determination. I imagine he meant to share his experiences of polio so we could learn from it. And yes, I did. But more so, I see how he managed to grow into a man of conviction and strength. Ken tells of the medical conditions that plagued his body while his mind was contriving adventures. I can see how his storytelling was developed. Also, the back story shows dedication to his family. Pressing a strong desire to be not only a good example but to share growth with his children, grand, and great grandchildren. Outstanding work.

I have treasured many of Ken's books. He has been kind enough to send me autographed books. But Polio and Me has taken first place on my bookshelf. When I read truth I have to honor it. For me, The Book of Mormon is one of truth and strength, that helps me grow into a God loving woman. Ken Dalton's book, Polio and Me, also one of truth and strength. One that helps me to know that adversity can be overcome. We all have different problems that form us. But if we strive to grow from them and through them, then we come out on the other side stronger. More so, we also can remember that life was meant to be enjoyed, not endured!

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Up & Down

2016-09-22T17:53:00.000-05:00

Life goes up and life goes down, for all of us. You know, those days that everything is amazing and then the other days that it is hard to open your eyes. We all have this happen at one time or the other.

Currently I am trying to understand how to keep the smile on my face when inside it is all torn up. The worst part is that life is okay. Nothing is wrong. But the chemical imbalance does effect the way I think, view things and react. This part of chronic depression is not only physically exhausting, it is also mentally havoc. When you can not think clearly then it is even harder to understand what is really going on around you and not let your emotions come into play.

I only know that my emotions are running around like lil electrical shocks. Hitting me here and there, not really knowing where I will feel it next. But knowing that no matter all the good around me (and there is plenty of it) that shock is going to take me back another step. Before you know it, your whole system is on edge and thinking clearly is out the window.

I know I am ranting here. Forgive me, but at the same time this is my place. And if I can not sound out here then where is safe. No nothing is wrong at all. Just my chemical imbalance having fun with me. I give up....tomorrow I am seeing my Doctor to check out some medication changes.

Up and Moving

2016-09-20T19:10:00.001-05:00

Well it is time for Walk Across Texas once again. It is a program to help people get up and get active once again. Every year this is sponsored by AgriLife Extension. There are teams of eight that try to walk a total of 840 miles in eight weeks.

The first year I did this all alone and did the whole 840 miles. Last year I captained a team that placed fourth in our county. This year our same team, "Take A Hike", is hoping to make it up to first place. The first week just passed and we have made our goal to start off. That helps us be more determined to move, move, move.

Also I put on a few pounds in the last year. Hopefully I can take some of it off during this time too. This last week I managed to take off three of those extra pounds. So this too makes me feel happy and hopeful. Now just to keep this up!

Anyway I just wanted to share what we are doing to get up and moving. If you want to join in you can. Just get up and go. You can track your miles at MapMyWalk.com and log on to WalkAcrossTexas.tamu.edu if you wish to compete with us.

Contention

2016-09-19T05:18:00.001-05:00

Oh how I hate to tell myself how wrong I am. Don't you? I mean when we see that we screwed up and let ourselves get out of line. Then we have to admit that we screwed up and that we have to fix it.

For me it is that I have become selfish in my heart, letting pride get in the way of a joyful heart. The Lord loves an obedient servant and that many times our obedience has to rest upon faith. And tonight I have wrestled with sleep trying to see just this. That obedience is not always easy but it is essential to keeping those promises you make to the Lord.

If we let pride stop us from doing what is right, we can miss some of life’s greatest joys. And isn't that just what selfishness is....pride? Pride that "I" can do it better, "I" am able to accomplish more, "I" all "I"! When you think only of yourself then you find that you are no longer joyful but most often sad, lonely and hurt. In that place is where I found that I had done this to myself.

Now let me clear it up in a way. Yes, people around me did things that made me have to scramble quickly to help out. It did create some anxiety in me. But instead of me becoming full of my own self, I should have looked at the blessing of helping someone else. Feeding on selfishness corrodes our self-image and our peace. It destroys relationships.

It says in the Old Testament, "Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." Proverbs 13:10 Yes, wisdom is just what I need. To be wise enough to see that I have been asked to be a servant for someone else for a short time. And in doing so it made their task easier to carry. For I am not a servant to them like a slave, but instead as a friend. Friends help each other carry the load. Sometimes by grabbing the other side and at times just hefting it up on their shoulders while the other rest.

I am also reminded that "A fool’s lips enter into contention..." Proverbs 18:6. Here is that little voice that raises up to complain "Why Me?" Oh how easy it is to get on that soap box and beat our chest as we fuss about how hard something is. But gosh, isn't it the other way around. We should be up on that box hollering out...."Hey, how can I help?" "What do you need?" or better yet, "I love you!" Then we can feel happiness and joy in our deeds instead of bitterness.

Does this mean to lay down and be a door mat? No, it means to look at your days and find out how your being used to help others out. And know that the Lord not only blesses us for that joyful spirit that we reach out in but that he commands us to be there for each other.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40

Search, Ponder & Pray

2016-09-16T07:38:00.000-05:00

Been a quiet morning here today. And a long one too!!! Woke the first time around 1:30 a.m. Then again around 3, then 5 and then 7. So it has been an off and on kinda morning for me. But each time I felt the need to reflect. So I wonder what God is trying to tell me that my hazy mind is just not catching on to.

Well I do start a bible study today with some local ladies. I miss getting to study with others as I am always teaching the children at church. These women were so kind to invite me and we will be reading from 2 Timothy. This is where my all time go to verse is located at.

For God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

This is how I hang on to the knowledge I am not 'defective'. That even though my mind may be chemically imbalanced it is still a sound mind. That I do have power and that love is what should drive me. So with that being the focus of today....what am I to be learning? Think I need to ponder this awhile.

National Popcorn Day

2016-01-19T16:43:00.001-06:00

Did you know today is National Popcorn Day? I learned that and thought it gave me a great reason to hole up with Netflix and my favorite snack. Then I thought maybe like popcorn, I should share with you too. So here you go! Thanks to Colman's Mustard for sharing this recipe.

Colman's Mustard Spicy Chocolate Popcorn

1 bag buttered popcorn
½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
¼ cup milk
2 tsp. Colman's Mustard
1 tbsp. light Karo Syrup
Pop the popcorn according to package directions. In a small saucepan add the chocolate chips and heat on low. Add the milk and stir constantly until the chocolate is melted and smooth. Add the mustard and the Karo syrup. Mix well. Dump the popcorn into a bowl and pour chocolate mixture over popcorn. Mix well and let it sit till it cools.