My Big Head

Turning stress into performance

2013-10-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

Turning stress into performance
(Designer Bubble with help from Dr M.Brusman, Psychologist and Executive Coach)

Core beliefs…are these hurting you?

•Making mistakes are terrible

•Every problem has a perfect solution

•Everything is within my control

•I cannot change the way I am or think

•People should like me

•There is not enough time

Learned Optimism

•Stress resilient people share an optimistic “explanatory style”

•Change your internal dialogue

•Troubles are temporary

•Troubles are not permanent unless you keep thinking about them

•Troubles are not universal, they are specific

•Take the credit when things go right, share the troubles and give your team a chance to work it out with you.

•Sharing troubles gives others the opportunity to learn, help you and not get into the same troubles themselves.

Techniques:

1.Bubbling: Draw bubbles and write in each bubble the subject on your mind

2.Prioritise each bubble

3.Attach a buddy to each bubble if you need

Change Resilience

2013-10-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

Change is inevitable, here are some strategies that I found useful from Dr Brusman.

Title: Change Resiliance
(Designer Bubble with help from Dr M.Brusman, Psychologist and Executive Coach)

Change comes as an enemy only to those who have lost the art of accepting it as a friend - Tagore

Change

•Happens

•You may not get all the information you want

•It may happen quickly

Techniques:

1.What are potential changes at work?

2.What are potential improvements at work?

3.Can we prepare for these changes? (Remember that continuous improvement builds your resilience to change because you will learn to adapt proactively)

Stages of Fright

1.Denial: This can’t be happening…

2.Resistance: Anger, loss, blaming

3.Exploration: Seeing possibilities

4.Commitment: Focus, Vision, Action

Change Master Class

1.Remember your objective and who you are. Change will happen, but you will be okay. Use your strengths

●

2.Develop adaptive skills:

1.Goal setting

2.Getting support, working with others

3.Recognising opportunities

4.Creating action plans

5.Contingency planning

•“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Cleaned up

2013-07-07T09:54:00.001-07:00

So either I smell or I leave a trail of dirt like that Pigpen character from Charlie Brown but I have been stalked by cleaners with brooms for a few months now.

This is an amazing phenomena considering the area of floor space available to be cleaned at shopping centres, public spaces and the like without requiring me to move to make way for the cleaner.

I can't really...always happen to be in the exact spot at the exact time they have their allocated time to clean that...space...

Now I've graduated....to cleaning staff stalking me with cleaning MACHINERY!!

1) Note happy cleaner keeping his distance cleaning a large empty space (note there are many spaces with no humans in the way to interrupt his cleaning flow...)

2) Exhibit 2: Oh look they found me and it's time to clean me out

Exhibit 3: Im not joking about them having a mandate to wipe me out...after doing 3 circles around my seat...he takes out my feet (tries to anyway)

I see stupid people

2013-07-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

This picture so accurately reflects how I'm feeling right now

Thoughts going through my head:

1) Are people really that rude?
2) Do I smell bad today?
3) I see stupid people everywhere
4) Am I just irritable because I got woken up by some weirdo who's phone has decided to call me every night at midnight for the last 4 days? (I actually think this ones a machine problem as its from their office phone and there's no way they'd be there at that time inclusive or weekends. And no, it's not someone I really want to associate with so I'd rather try to find a way to block this call than have to talk to them about it).

What happened?
Hmmmm few things, starting off with the food tray caving in and me leaving my lunch in a mess on the floor whilst battling to open the door holding my bag and lunches for the rest of my colleagues. I get the door open so I can put down everything and while I look for a mop, in the 3.4seconds that this takes, tsomeone's made a complaint that they saw someone drop food and leave a mess (even people with a dead car battery stalled in the middle of the road don't get that's much attention that quickly).

So I grab the closest pile of tissues and start cleaning the mess up less they come and arrest me...meanwhile the messengers bringing the complaint to me stand around me and watch me ckan up the mess...and then tell me not to clean up the mess for they have called the cleaners..and I shouldnt get my hands dirty?????? so, lets wait to get more complaints by more well meaning busy body humans that I spend my entirety choosing to smash food everywhere...

Now people, nice of you to help?

Nobody has reported the broken door or the smashes window for a month. I've made the last 4 maintenance call requests for every broken thing needing maintenance. So...this...sucks...to have someone complain that I would actually intentionally leave a mess and walk away from it.

Times like this really test my patience with humanity.

I get it, whoever complained was a good upstanding civilian doing their bit for the world.

I get it, it's nice to know that of ever you needed urgent medical attention, the fastest way to get the troops running is to drop food everywhere (at least in my building).

I get it, it's a little thing and I shouldn't get irritated but...I am. When you do your hardest to be an upstanding citizen and socially responsible, these sort of events really make you wonder why you bother trying.

So, of course, in my ongoing attempt at continuing self improvement...I seek help from the Internet.

Good old wiki to the rescue: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Less-Annoyed-With-People

But reading through the multiple websites, one got me thinking about attempting little bursts of kindness. Focus is on the "little" especially when I don't feel so inclined at the moment to doing anything nice for anyone (everyone's evil right now)...

Kinda like the slow, self-help process towards any good change or habit...small...manageable chunks..focus on small immediate gains and hopefully I find my faith in human kindness again.

This week's menu looks to be lots of gym to vent my irritable-ness (new word I just made up), and focus on one nice thing to one people a day to start with.

I'm going to throw in meditation and positive affirmations too as the way I'm feeling, it's going to take some added ammunition.

Credit to all the people who were kind and nice to me today...sorry for my human nature to only focus on the ugly and meaner.

Wonder how I'll go....

The battle for peace

2012-09-28T02:43:00.002-07:00

Today's exercise is trying to be calm in the midst of my "everything is happening right now for some crazy reason" day.

A BAD way to commence is to start eating all the chocolate on my desk normally reserved for visitors (yeah right!!), washed down with a coke.

Now I'm completely hyperactive, and expecting a terrible sugar low.

Once I get home, I chose between a gym class (which is quickly dismissed) and google...Achieving Calm from Sources of Insight gives some tips so I put on my zen music and my yoga pants and try to reduce the sugar buzzing through my veins.

At the end of the day, I realise I'm human and this world is going to be crazy some days and I can either curl up in a ball and descend into denial or eat lots of ice cream, balanced with hugs from my amazing family and friends and put into practice all the find your zen things that work best for me.

It's much easier to be a cat I think.... ;)

Emo Intel

2012-09-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

So...Emotional Intelligence (Mindtools) is the "IT" word for "Alien Character Building"...in my translation...

Those annoying people who are always diplomatic, in control, say the right things, do the right things, at the right time...they're Emo Intel NERDS....essentially:

1) They're self aware: realistic and practical about who they are and what they can achieve

2) They have self control...(at this point I'm starting to think they're not human)...

3) Motivated, productive which most likely leads to being successful...(see? They're not human)

4) Empathetic: they can pick up vibes, are sensitive to those they are relating to, enough to understand how to interact look after those people. (Ewwww they're nice toooooo)

5) They're social, everybody loves them at a party because they just fit in no matter where you put them...at this point, I'm starting to think this concept is limited to those aliens that are so nice you wonder if they ever get angry...at which point I think all they would do is frown.

But there is hope, apparently...for the mere mortals like me:
1) Start paying attention to your own reactions, stop judging and start living in the moment completely

2) Put yourself in the other's shoes always...it puts everything in perspective and helps you communicate better

3) Be yourself...really...everyone's human, not sure why we're all trying to be perfect when it only sells tabloids. Imagine if everyone were just themselves...plain as day...they openly trip over, stuff up, apologise and wear no makeup when they go to the gym...Perez Hilton would be out of a blog...

Anyway..that's my latest self-project...let's see how close I can get to turning into an alien ;)

Flat Pancake Day

2012-09-05T08:39:00.002-07:00

Today is flat pancake day.

When you get all the human problem issues at the same time,

on the same day,

in the one place,

and you just want to chase your stress ball that's rolled under the table from overuse and stay there with it...

nice...safe....

and the main thing I've learnt, that puts everything back into perspective is

never, ever, forget who you are.

I am me, I do what I do, the way I do it, because no one else is going to live my life....

so the grumpy people will come and go,

the ones you wish you could please but can't will go,

then you'll be the only one left to live with who you are.

so just...be you.

What the Successful have in Common

2012-09-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

So, I've been watching the successful people around me and in our world and it seems, they have a few commonalities:

Constantly open and seeking new opportunities
Knows the value of giving back / generosity
Hard working / fun-loving (a fair few seem to have a liking for extreme sports, I'm not sure if this is their way of forgetting all the pressure/stress of their highly active/successful lives)
Rarely need to tell others how good they are because their success speaks for itself

Staying Calm

2012-09-02T08:37:00.004-07:00

Today, in the context of a debate between people who couldn't agree, I thought about whether it is somehow possible to calmly detached but show an active interest.

It's an art, some may call it effective negotiation, others may call it persuasion.

I'm talking about those very rare individuals who manage to stay calm, get their perspective understood by all and agree to a consensus which may or may not be to their agreement.

From a little prodding of those individuals...I've found that they are simply better at controlling their emotions and they know from experience when the fight is worth the outcome.

Practically speaking...the Dumb Little Man's blog speaks some very cool words of wisdom on how to keep calm.

The Secret of Life

2012-08-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

BALANCE

..sounds simple, but in practice, I'm finding it a little tricky...

Balanced diet
Balanced lifestyle
Balanced emotions
Even language tone

Thought for the Day

2012-08-26T22:09:00.002-07:00

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback...
(lifeislimitless.com)

Type A Therapy

2012-08-12T10:08:00.003-07:00

So, for a mind that goes 100 miles an hour, I found this useful...

A friend was telling me how much more productive they were when they were relaxed and this was even after they got rid of their blackberry.

The common message from wise, experienced leaders is that the key to life is balance...it seems to be the answer for everything: controlling stress, living a good life, maintaining physical health, managing workload...

Ref: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/8-tips-to-focus-your-mind-how-to.html

1. Objective Thinking: Focus your thoughts. Stop other thoughts that are not specific to your wellbeing or task.

2. Be Still: Allow your thoughts to come and go, but resist the urge to follow each one. Your brain will eventually slow down and you will feel less pressured.

3. Count. If you find it difficult to let go of your thoughts, try counting slowly as you breathe. Watch your thoughts and try to resist following them. Turn your attention to the count as you breathe out.

4. Pay active attention. As you work and think, try to keep your attention on the task at hand. Be strict with yourself and each time your mind wanders, return it to the task. As you keep refocusing your attention, your “mind stillness” will improve.

5. Still your body. One sign of fragmented attention is fragmented movement. For example, when you are at the theatre, it is easy to tell if others around you are fully attentive to the performance. People who sniff and sigh, move their heads this away and that, and wiggle in their seats are having some difficulty concentrating. Rapt attention is usually accompanied by still body posture.

6. Find a comfortable position and don’t allow yourself to move. Concentrate on what you are doing or watching, drawing your attention away from physical distractions, and focus your thoughts on your task. After a while, you will notice that you fidget less and feel less physical discomfort. You are now channeled into mental exertion.

7. Interest your mind. Try to find interest in projects to help you concentrate. Taking up a new hobby can be a tremendous help. You should also try to find something interesting even in the dullest chore. If you are at a gathering, find someone and start a conversation. Be inquisitive and you might discover you have similar interests.

8. Open the mind. Just as strength, stamina and flexibility must be incorporated in your physical routine, the mind needs new and absorbing challenges to give it a change from its everyday journey. Notice something new on the same way home that you might not have noticed before. Buy a magazine on a subject you normally wouldn’t look at, read it, and open yourself to new possibilities.

Neurolinguistic Programming

2012-08-12T10:00:00.004-07:00

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback...

Today, I'm intrigued by neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) thanks to a friend's suggestion. I'm all about self-awareness and how one's attitude can affect their world.

Ref: http://www.businessballs.com/nlpneuro-linguisticprogramming.htm

In a nutshell: NLP helps to clarify goals and strategize how to get there.

1) Consciously identify goal

2) Pathway

3) Flexibility to reach outcome

4) Action

More Detail:

1) Visualize the goal. Understand that you can control the outcome.

2) Are you moving towards the goal?

3) Consciously do things that are leading you towards your goal.

4) Act now.

Further bits & pieces:

Everyone's communication is according to their own perspective and life experience.
Effective communication depends on 2 people having the topic mean similar things to both of to them.
a person can change their physiology or their emotions by changing how they think. Mental Visualisation is powerful.
The person with the greatest flexibility of behaviour has the greatest control.
Actions speak louder than words - watch the body language and see what others are really communicating to you.

Quotes: Positivity

2012-05-19T08:18:00.002-07:00

Beauty: Find the beauty in everything - Lulamon (2012)

Trail Blaze: Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live: Some people are so busy trying not to die that they forget to live - Lulamon (2012)