Relationship Tips

7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend's Ex

2014-12-29T02:22:00.000-08:00

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.

What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this

worldview was straight. This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities. If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point. Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life. It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight. Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.

Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication. We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined. I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three. In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend. They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding.

Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.

1. Don't gossip. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush. (I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.) Keep your friend's secrets. The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. Save it for your diary or for anyone who didn't date him.

2. Don't trash talk. It's OK to come to your partner for advice if you're arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to the other. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear. However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact. If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.

3. Respect boundaries without making assumptions. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her. But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked! In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it. Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other. This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it. Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are so badabout this), and don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home.

4. No comparisons. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend. Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday. No matter what his answer is, it's going to make things weird. Besides, comparing yourself to anybody — even if you come out ahead — is always going to lead to feeling crappy, because basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to someone else is Not Healthy. So don't seek out comparisons, and if your dude brings up the topic, tell him you're not interested in hearing it. You and your friend are not in competition, except when you're actually playing Scrabble.

5. Don't be paranoid. Don't try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because you're afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don't constantly seek reassurance that that's not the case. Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you're awesome, not because he's biding his time until your friend takes him back. Trust that your friend is happy you've found someone you dig, not plotting to sabotage your love. And don't ever use jealousy or insecurity over their past relationship to excuse irrational or controlling behavior on your part. Of course, if your sweetie gives you a legitimate reason to believe he's untrustworthy, get out of there stat, but if there's really nothing wrong, don't create problems where none exist.

6. Don't pry into their relationship. It may be tempting ask your friend to analyze what happened between the two of them so that you can avoid making the same mistakes, but resist that urge. Likewise, don't grill your boyfriend on what went wrong or insist that he account for his behavior throughout the entire time they dated. Their relationship is between them; it's not your cautionary tale or your soap opera. If they choose to share details with you, that's fine — you don't need to stick your fingers in your ears, unless an overt comparison is being made (see No. 4) — but don't push. Your relationship and theirs are separate things, and you don't need to know anything they don't care to tell you.

7. Recognize that some exes really are off-limits. It's easier, of course, to have hard-line rules — "exes are never OK" versus "exes are totally fine" — but that's not the world we live in. If someone seriously mistreated your friend (we're talking emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, lying, stealing, etc.), don't date him, no matter how awesome his butt looks in jeans. This has nothing to do with some kind of Eternal Dibs situation, and everything to do with the fact that, by choosing to build a relationship with someone who treated her horribly, you're telling your friend you don't think what he did to her was all that bad. Just walk away. There are lots of people out there who are just as good in bed and haven't traumatized anyone you care about. Set the precedent that people who are awful to your friends are people who don't get to see you naked, and your life will be the better because of it.

Power of Appreciation

2011-05-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

A while back a professor from an unknown university began reflecting on the people who had a positive impact on his life. In particular he remembered a schoolteacher who had gone out of her way to instill in him a love of poetry. He hadn't seen or spoken to her in many years and took a moment to remember the impact that she had on his life. He eventually located her address and sent her a letter of thanks. A short time later, he received this reply:

"I cannot tell you how much your letter meant to me. I am in my eighties, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely, and, like the last leaf of autumn, lingering behind. You will be interested to know that I taught school for 50 years and yours is the first note of appreciation I ever received. It came on a cold morning, and it cheered me as nothing has in many years."

The words that were written back to the professor brightened his day and had clearly warmed the life of the teacher that had once had such an impact on his life.

We never know who we are "touching" in our lives. We can say one word or maybe a short conversation with someone that can drastically alter their life. Have you ever thought about saying something to someone but decided in the moment to keep your words to yourself cause they might think you're weird?

Maybe you could have made a difference for them.

I have talked with many people about the social dynamics of how we all have a profound effect on each other but don't always (if ever) get recognized for our efforts.

The best way to brighten someones day is to always be in a positive mood and have a positive outlook on life. Think about the good attributes that others in your life bring to the table and focus on those things that bring joy to others.

My suggestion to you is to appreciate someone today. Think of someone who has had a positive impact on your life and send them a heartfelt thank you or appreciation card today. Dig up their address and mail them a greeting card letting them know how they have touched their life. In giving to them, you will not only be brightening their day, but you will be rewarded too.

Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work For Both of You

2011-03-24T03:24:00.001-07:00

A long distance relationship seems to be the most difficult to endure. You and your partner are in two completely different places and it's hard for you to watch each other and see each other. The only way to make kind of relationship work is really to be with someone you do not just love, but trust.

Long distance relationships can't work if both people involved in the relationship do not trust each other. This can lead to uncertainty, unnecessary charges, and needless arguments, which could be more damaging than it would be rewarding. If you really love someone, no matter how far away from they are from you, you should love and trust them to ensure your heart and remain true. Loyalty is one issue that is more concerned about in a long distance relationships, and if you and your partner do not trust each other, there is no reason for you to try to maintain the relationship. Even if you do not have a long distance relationship, if you do not trust the person you love, why would you want to be with them?

The relationship can work. It takes greater strength and much more love to accomplish this because the long distance relationship is the most difficult relationship to maintain. Distance plays a major role in the relationship. Because of the space, partners tend to become weary of the others honesty and fidelity. This is where the trust issues start to begin. Try and communicate with each other as often as you can. You want to try to show your partner that you love them and care about them, no matter how much time and space is between the two of you and more importantly, you must show them that you can be trusted. Nobody wants to feel that because they are away from their boyfriend or girlfriend that they are being cheating on. Nobody deserves to be deceived, period.

If you can prove to the person that you're in a relationship with that you are trustworthy, loyal, and that you really care and love them, you can create a long distance relationship that functions identical to one that is as close as the two living in the same home. At the end of the day it is more rewarding to always be open and honest in any relationship, especially if this person is someone you intend to spend the rest of you life with.

Discover How To Save Your Relationship After Cheating

2011-03-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

Anytime either partner cheats it may well damage a martial relationship. An extra-marital affair is often a heart stopping & humiliating predicament for both the couple & implies the collapse of lasting love and marriage. The most important platform of a typical partnership is trust and belief that could get destabilized because of the extra-marital romance.

It could play a role in the current relationship difficulties being experienced like clashes and animosity that, when exceed the limits, may result in separating. However, separating is definitely an agonizing and traumatic situation for both the partners so please, at all costs, make an attempt to save your relationships after cheating.

It is Typically Quite Uncomfortable

It can be very painful and hurting for you in the event you come to recognize that your spouse is definitely cheating you. But, don't get frustrated or freak out at these types of circumstances, remain relaxed and attempt to control the problem. Think of how you can cope with this situation and learn the strategies to save your relationships after cheating.

It is quite evident that you get angry with your companion, but relax and try to comprehend why your lover is cheating you. Typically, the reason for being unfaithful isn't that the companion that is fooling around doesn't have emotional feelings, however it may be due to his/her physiological need. In these types of situations, you can grab the attention of your spouse using your strong affection.

Forgive & Forget Still Has Success

No matter what the reason for cheating, 'forgive and forget' is an important aspect to save your relationships after cheating. Once you discover that you've been deceived by your lover, speak with him/her about this openly and find out about his/her willingness to rescue the marriage and then try to fully grasp your partner's approach about it. Convey your feelings for your partner and make them realize just how much you want him/her. If you achieve a positive response from your companion, then try your hardest to forgive him/her.

If you're successful in creating a strong passion for one another, than the problem can be easily fixed. The key step you ought to adopt to save your relationships after cheating is to discover your drawbacks and errors. Try to make an undertaking to boost your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your sweet heart gets hurt.

Think About a Vacation

Plan to go on vacation with your partner. Provide time for each other, enhance the interaction between you, try to find the variances between you and conquer them.

If you are the partner who's cheating, then you must equally chip in and make efforts in order to save the partnership. You need to swear to end this affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is important when you're saying 'sorry' to your lover.

Should your spouse is getting ready to forgive you and leave behind the anger, you should respond in an encouraging manner. It's adviseable to convey deep adoration for your companion and try to make them understand how much you want them and just how incomplete you are without them. This should do the job and you'll be able to reignite the love inside your partner's mind.

When both of you make the effort to save your relationships after cheating it just isn't so challenging, you will be successful in enhancing your romantic relationships permanently.

Eating a Girl Out Perfectly

2011-03-09T03:48:00.000-08:00

Girls, admit it or not, likes to be eaten down there. It's seldom to find a girl who doesn't like to be given head once she has experienced it and has been truly satisfied through it. If she had bad experience with it however, she may have some apprehension of doing the deed again. That is why you must know how to do it properly to satisfy your girl and make her want to beg you to do it to her again and again. So let's learn about eating out a girl perfectly.

Unlike boys, girls are harder to please and stimulate. With just a glimpse of a cleavage, a thong above the jeans, legs to behold, a boy could get a hard on automatically. This is not the case for most females. You need to stimulate them, to light them up and build up their fires. The one good thing going for them though is when you have build up their fire, they last longer than men's.

Eating her down there is one of the most pleasurable things you can do for her, to help her achieve climax, without actually having actual intercourse with her. Otherwise known as cunnilingus, eating her down there is regarded as outercourse, meaning no actual penetration of sexual organs are involved. However, there is no denying the fact that it is one of the most pleasurable things a woman can experience sexually.

Whether you're preparing her for the actual coitus or you just want her to feel good, you must ensure that when you give her head, you are not mauling her very sensitive parts. You want to bring her pleasure, not pain. Although, some girls would like it rougher than most, still, girls would prefer it to be caressing and tender generally. As the arousal intensifies however, you could change the rhythm into faster and with more wild abandon than when first starting out.

When you eat a girl out, you don't directly go down on her and lick her mound with fervor and wild abandon. You have to get her in the right mood, so she would not feel rigid and tense when you start nibbling her down there. Right foreplay is the key to this. Get her to relax, kiss her and caress her erogenous zones. You should tease her by nibbling her neck, sucking on her nipples, caressing her thighs with your lips, left a blazing trail of kisses from her navel down to her mound, just before her clitoris then focusing on leaving kisses with alternating sucking on her legs and thighs before you actually position your mouth in front of her love canal.

You can blow warm breath directly at her vagina to heighten her sexual arousal. By licking her clitoris with the tip of your tongue and sliding down her slit and kissing her labia, she would be making her beg you to do it to her, the direct licking and sucking of her vagina while thrusting your tongue inside, just like in actual coitus.

If you want to make your woman happy and satisfied, you must always observe her responses to what you do to her. If she's moaning and squirming, then she definitely likes what you're doing to you. However, if she is pushing you away and seems to close up her legs, it's probably because she maybe feeling hurt or too much pressure on her clitoris had been applied which makes her uncomfortable. The key to making her happy is to be always on the lookout for her reactions. You can then either continue or change your strategy, based on such reactions.

How to Make a Man Pursue You? Important Pointers You Need to Know to Make Him Pursue You

2011-03-01T01:49:00.000-08:00

Getting a man to pursue is more desirable than having to chase a man that you like. For this firstly you need to make him notice you and attract him so that you have got his attention.
Be aware of your worth
Before you start on your agenda, take some time out and write down all the positives in you and tell yourself that you are worthy of being pursued by men. While at it, note down the traits that you want in a man besides his looks or wealth.

Show your interest
Let the guy know that you are interested in him; usually a warm smile and your friendly attitude should send the message across. If he likes you he will be more than willing to take the hint. When you are successful in attracting his attention you have made your mark as you have placed yourself firmly in his mind.

Don't chase him
If you want to be pursued, do not chase him at all. It is as simple as that, ignite the interest in him and let him do the chasing. If he calls you, take turn to call him back but don't be the one to pursue.

You have to be worth his effort
Remember there is a big difference between attracting his attention and getting him to pursue you, it has to be worth his time and effort to chase you. Show that you are not only attractive but are an emotionally balanced person too. You don't have to be a model but should be at your attractive best to keep him interested.

Be someone interesting
When you have a life of your own, are busy pursuing your interests and hobbies apart form your work or studies it makes you an interesting person. It also shows that you are independent and not someone who is clingy.

Be a mystery women
Be a mystery woman and he will chase you till he knows you well, you become an enigma that makes him more curious about you. Impress him with your varied interests, you may make him something special one evening or ask him for great outdoors the next week. When he sees that being with you means expecting something different each time you meet, you will be more desirable to him.

Make the chase interesting
Always stay few steps ahead of him so that he has to catch up with you, with you remaining out of his reach. The idea is to make him chase you and not be with you, but giving him the feeling that he can win you and your affections in the end

Should a Man and Woman Be Friends First, Before Lovers? Is It Important to Be Friends First?

2011-02-21T02:23:00.000-08:00

The answer is yes, for some finding a partner for casual sex may be an agenda but if the couple is friends first they can handle the physical and psychological consequences of sex better and it helps in forging a greater intimacy.

It may work for short term
Often people jump into serious relationship quickly and into a bed too without getting to know each other well. It feels great for a short term but it distracts them from really knowing each other on intimate level. Sex is an expression of intimacy and commitment for each other so it will do well if one works on being friends first.

It does not lead to long term relationship
Most couples break up if sex is the only thing that is the binding factor in their relationship. A man and the woman have to be compatible and find out if they connect emotionally as well and this is not possible if they are meeting only for sex.
Being friends is necessary
In any relationship developing the bond of friendship is very important as it means one understands each other and is comfortable together. This makes the progression to next level easier and the relationship will be successful as you have spent time to know your partner and know his/her characteristics and traits.

The relationship has a solid foundation
When you work to be friends there is great understanding of each others needs and desires. There are no unreal expectations as you know your partner well but this does not mean that sex in committed relationship should be boring. When one spends enough time with each other you know the person as he/she is and there is no pretense involved.

The bond is stronger
When there is friendship the bond is deeper and stronger and taking it to next level from here makes your relationship more meaningful and intimate. When you know each others likes and dislikes and want to please them it brings you closer both physically and emotionally.

Intimacy
You grow close emotionally and the intimacy grows steadily. There is a feeling of being connected and bonding where you can count on each other. There is a sense of mutual sharing and genuine liking for one another.

Excitement and passion are the key factors
There is excitement and desire to build a rapport as a team that develops from having trust, respect and tolerance for each other. There is an element of romance and attraction that is absent in casual sex.

The Laws of Attraction - Do They Exist?

2011-02-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

The word attraction coupled with the many myths associated with it is difficult to comprehend. Despite many books written on the subject, there is still vagueness in understanding the subject. In short it is not easy to define this word in one sentence not even in one paragraph.

Many people and especially men have fallen victims of this believe and the confusion associated with lack of clear cut definition of the word attraction. It is sometimes damaging that many men are so demoralized to a point of forsaking the dating issue completely which is not healthy at all.
Having the wrong information is dangerous in the same way, having the right knowledge in this subject of dating will be so helpful to the man interested in finding a woman to date. Right information will trash the wrong perception out of the way.

Never be pushed to be what you are not. Avoid grooming yourself to fit in her shoes or to appear as though you are her match. This is a myth and it doesn't work at all. Ladies are known to walk with a list of things they would love their men to have.

From the onset, understand that offering goods and gifts to your woman of choice is not synonymous to being loved or winning her heart. If you have not won her emotions, you may nit get her to like you.
One other misconception or myth peddled by men is that you cannot win a woman who is better positioned status wise to love you. When you consider her education or even her life achievements, you may get scared to even approach her leave alone engaging her for a date.

Always endeavor to be the king in this subject. Not in material things but in manner of conversation. Ladies feel comfortable being with a man who treasures her. So boost your image and confidence as you keep on showing her that you admire her and soon she will be ready for your date.

Remember you are the king and the person to determine the way things will go in this venture, good or bad. So carry yourself in the best way possible when you are with your queen to make sure it can go as well as possible. Avoid belittling yourself before her. Take charge and she will get along well with you and hopefully wish to continue seeing you.

Valantine's Day Recipe For Lovers

2011-02-14T02:43:00.000-08:00

When you think of Valentine's Day recipes you really can't help but think of chocolate. I mean who is not a chocolate lover? I have found that it is definitely many people's guilty pleasure. One of my most favorite and decadent guilty pleasure Valentine's Day recipes is this luscious and yummy Amaretto-Chocolate souffle. It is not terribly difficult to make and is always a hit.

First up, you ingredient list. You'll need:
* A quarter of a cup of all-purpose flour
* One teaspoon of instant espresso powder
* One cup granulated sugar
* Two tablespoons of granulated sugar, for sprinkling
* One cup of milk
* Three tablespoons of butter
* Five ounces of unsweetened chocolate, chopped coarsely
* Three tablespoons of almond flavor liqueur
* Two teaspoons of vanilla extract
* Four large eggs, separate the yolks from the whites
* Two large egg whites
* One quarter teaspoon of salt
* And a little confectioner sugar

Now to make the souffle you just combine the flour, espresso powder, and a half cup of granulated sugar; gently stir in milk until blended in a large saucepan. Cook until the mixture comes to a boil and let boil for a minute, stirring the whole time.

After removing the pan from the heat, whisk in the butter and chocolate. Then add the liqueur and vanilla and whisk until creamy. Then, after whisking in the egg yolks, allow the mix to cool until lukewarm. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F and grease two quart souffle dish. Sprinkle in two tablespoons granulated sugar.
In your mixing bowl beat all the egg whites and salt until foamy. Slowly beat in remaining a half cup of granulated sugar just until stiff peaks form Then gradually fold two thirds of the egg whites into the chocolate. Pour all this into a souffle dish and bake for forty minutes. And there you have my best Valentine's Day recioe for lovers.

How to Get Your Boyfriend to Worship You - Become the Most Special Person in His Eyes Right Away

2011-02-07T00:59:00.000-08:00

You are not satisfied with the way things are between you and your boyfriend and will be happy only when he worships the ground you walk on! This means that you need him to be well and truly hooked on to you. Here are some ways in which you can captivate and mesmerize him that will keep him addicted to you in every way!

Be his ideal companion
To be an ideal companion will take a lot of effort on your part, but it will be worth it because in the long run he is going to worship you. Be understanding of his needs and his general make up without being selfish. The more giving and accommodating you are the more he will want you to be with him forever. He will grow to admire you deeply.

Look like the personification of perfection and beauty
Try your best to look as attractive as possible. If you are elegant and classy, he will naturally be proud to be your man and will want to show you off! He will love it when he finds that he cannot take his eyes off you! Be captivating and gorgeous and he will begin to worship you.

Stimulate him body, mind and soul
The trick to get him worship you is to make sure that you intrigue and stimulate his senses in such a way that he is convinced that you are one in a million. Never be satisfied only with physical attraction. He has to have you in his heart and on his mind constantly so that the whole relationship becomes meaningful and important.

Intrigue him and impress him with your intellect
Most men are interested in a woman's intellect. This is because they need to know that she is not just beautiful on the outside with no brains or intellect! He has to be impressed by the fact that you are confident and assured in company. This will not only make him admire you but he will long to spend more time with you.

Have sincere and genuine qualities
Physical attraction can be very strong and potent but it can also be fleeting! To make sure that his attraction for you is long and lasting - attract him emotionally, mentally as well as physically. Genuine traits of honesty, gentleness, loyalty and self control will make him love you and worship you more.

Be ready for adventure and fun
Never let him get bored around you. If you are too predictable and boring and never want to do anything that will take you outside your "comfort zone" then you are in danger of losing him. He needs to know that you trust him enough to "let go" of your inhibitions and have fun and adventure with him.

Don't judge and assume things
One of the worst things you could do is judge, criticize and assume that you know it all! This will make him want to break away from you. On the other hand a patient, trusting and loving attitude towards him will make him want to get even closer to you.

Love in Africa: A Collection of African Love Quotes

2011-02-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

Many women including myself like to claim that the male segment of our population knows nothing about love and romance. African men in particular get a lot of criticism for been un-romantic and incapable of expressing their emotions. From personal experience I would say that this is not true, some of the most romantic men I have dated are African. However, what is romance really? I like to define it as the expression of love. In this article I define romance through the use of some of my favorite African love quotes. These African quotes give us a glimpse into African culture and views on life. They are a part of African history and show us that love and the expression of love are universal. So in defense of my romantic African brothers here are some African love sayings, enjoy them and for all the men out there feel free to use them this Valentines Day to show your beloved just how much you care.

Romantic African Quotes

The best part of happiness lies in the secret heart of a lover. - (African Proverb). This is one of the most romantic love quotes that I have read, it is almost poetic. Here are some more romantic African love quotes that show us love flowers everywhere.
1. Where there is love there is no darkness. -Burundi
2. A woman is a flower in a garden; her husband is the fence around it. - Ghana
3. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. - Swahili
4. Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly. - Congo DRC
5. Let your love be like the misty rain, coming softly, but flooding the river. - Liberia and Madagascar
6. Love is like rice: transplanted, still it grows. -Madagascar
7. If the full moon loves you, why worry about the stars? -Tunisia
8. Many little things make a man love a woman in a big way. - Ghana
9. One thread for the needle, one love for the heart. - Sudan
10. The house of a person we love is never far. - Kenya
11. He who loves the vase loves also what is inside. - African Proverb
12. The one who loves an unsightly person is the one who makes her beautiful. - Uganda
13. He who loves, loves you with your dirt. -Uganda Proverb
14. Love never gets lost it is only kept. - African Proverb
15. Happiness requires something to do, something to love and something to hope for. - Swahili Saying

Funny African Love Quotes
Coffee and love taste best when hot! - (African proverb). Who said African men are not passionate. I love my coffee hot and steamy and as this funny love quote from Ethiopia shows love is also best served hot. Ethiopia is famous for its coffee, so the next time you sip a steaming cup of coffee think about heating up your love life too. Here are a few more funny love quotes for your enjoyment. Sip slowly.
1. Do not desire a woman with beautiful breasts, if you have no money. - South Africa
2. If you are ugly you must either learn to dance or make love. - Zimbabwe
3. To love the king is not bad, but a king who loves you is better. -Wolof Proverb
4. If you marry a monkey for his wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains as is. - Egypt
5. Never marry a woman who has bigger feet than you. - Mozambique
6. He who does not like chattering women must remain a bachelor. - Congo DRC
7. Pretend you are dead and you will see who really loves you. -African Proverb
8. The buttocks are like a married couple though there is constant friction between them; they will still love and live together. - African Proverb
9. It is Mr. Old-Man-Monkey who marries Mrs. Old-Woman-Monkey. - Ghana
10. If there were no cold Friday evenings and boring Saturdays, no one would get married any more. - Morocco
11. If money were to be found up in the trees, most people would be married to monkeys. - African proverb
12. If a young woman says no to marriage just wait until her breasts sag. -Burundi

African Marriage Quotes
Marriage is like a groundnut; you have to crack it to see what is inside. - (African Quote). Ah marriage that bed of roses that is so often talked about. How can one speak of love without speaking of marriage. It is only fitting that we close off this article with quotes about the bonds (sorry I meant joys) of marriage.
1. One who marries for love alone will have bad days but good nights. - Egypt
2. A home without a woman is like a barn without cattle. - African proverb
3. A happy man marries the girl he loves, but a happier man loves the girl he marries. - African quote
4. Marriage is like a groundnut; you have to crack it to see what is inside. - Ghana
5. If you have no relatives, get married. - Egypt
6. A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. - African Proverb
7. A young wife tends to cook too much at first. - Ethiopia
8. Bread without sauce and a home without a wife are meaningless. - Ethiopia
9. A bird can be guarded, a wife can't. - Swahili
10. One who plants grapes by the road side, and one who marries a pretty woman, share the same problem. - Ethiopia
11. A good wife is easy to find, but good in-laws are rare. - Madagascar
12. It is better to be married to an old lady than to remain unmarried. - Uganda
13. The man may be the head of the home but the wife is the heart. - Kenya
14. Marriage is not a tight knot, but a slip knot. - Madagascar
15. The woman who does not covet the possessions of her husband is in love with another man. ~Egypt

These are just a few of my favorite love quotes. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. You can read more African quotes here.
Injete Chesoni is an incurable romantic, artist, poet and writer who enjoys writing about various topics. Visit her blog to view her unique artwork and to read her poetry and stories.

My Journey Towards Compassion

2011-01-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

Why is it that some people tend to be more caring and compassionate than others? I'm finally beginning to realize that it has nothing to do with a person NOT caring about what's going on in a friend/family's life, but more to do with the fact that some people have a hard time putting their feelings into words, thus they say or do "nothing" when a friend really needs some COMPASSION. Or perhaps they feel if they get too involved with a person's situation, it brings them too close to the reality that life has its trials and tribulations and that life here on this earth is not forever, and they don't want to "go there."

Webster's Dictionary defines COMPASSION as sympathetic consciousness (or awareness) of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. So, being conscious of someone's distress or something they are going through is one thing, but having the desire to alleviate it brings it back to "what can you do" personally to make a difference.

I have discovered from my journey through life thus far that it is the experiences and challenges I have faced that have helped me become more compassionate toward others. When my younger brother was killed in a tragic farm accident at the age of 40, I was devastated. These were tragedies that happened to other people, not our family. After all, I prayed every night for God to keep my family safe. I finally had to let go and realize that my brother WAS safe - in God's heavenly realm, but no longer here on this earth with his family. He left behind a loving wife and 3 precious children, the youngest who was the same age (7) as our daughter at that time. My parents were devastated losing their only son, as well as my dad's business partner in farming and painting (they were great friends). People do not like to talk about death, but we all need to realize that death is part of life. We need to be doing every day the things that we feel led to do. Each day is a precious gift that we cannot have back. As hard as it may be, it's important that we reach out to others who need our support. The words, "I care about what you are going through" or, "I don't know how you feel personally but I do care about you," will show them they are not alone.

Previous to my brother's accident and death, I had lost my first roommate out of college from liver cancer. She was only 21 years old. Everything happened so fast...she was diagnosed and passed away within six weeks. I had a hard time understanding why someone so young and vibrant could be taken away so quickly. She left behind a little 5-year old sister who would really never know her. This was also hard for me to accept. These events did something to me personally; they made me want to reach out to others who were going through a similar situation. They could have made me bitter and turned me away from God and my faith, but I knew that more than ever I needed God in my life, and that I also wanted so deeply to be able to reach out to those in similar situations. By experiencing these situations, I was drawn more and more to those who also were experiencing them, wanting to do something to help. Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone who is facing a tragedy is simply to pray for him or her. God hears our every prayer and cares even more deeply than we do. There is a power through prayer that is greater than anything we can do or say.

Shortly after my brother's death, I became involved with a nonprofit organization called "Amanda the Panda" which a woman had founded to help siblings/parents/family of those who had lost loved ones. She used this ministry to reach out to others and I felt compelled to help spread the word about what her organization was doing. I made myself get out of my comfort zone and joined a committee which presented her nonprofit organization to companies in town, ASKING them for $ to provide a way for the employees of these companies to have a support system such as Amanda the Panda. I would never have done this if it hadn't been for the fact that I was myself hurting from the loss of my brother and wanted to DO SOMETHING that would make a difference for others - to teach others to show compassion. Was it easy for me to do this? No, but it was the beginning of me realizing that even as just one individual, I could make a difference in the lives of others. I didn't want others to hurt by themselves, but to feel as though someone cared.

A few years later, my dad had some serious health problems and needed several major surgeries including open heart surgery. My parents spent several weeks at our home after Dad's surgery recuperating from this. My dad faced so much adversity in his life; yet he taught me that there is always hope and we should never give up. He always looked for the positive.... when he was hospitalized, he would spend time chatting with everyone at the hospital, not just the physicians and nurses, but also the housekeepers and maintenance workers. He treated everyone the same and I saw in him a deep compassion and love for all people; this compassion towards others drew others to him. This is how I wanted to be as well. He taught me that, despite any trial in life, there is always hope. One of the greatest compliments he gave me was telling me how he appreciated what I was doing to help him and my mom and how wonderful it was to have me for a "friend" as well as daughter. I'll never forget the emotion in that moment.

To help you start (or go forward) in your journey of nurturing relationships and showing more compassion, I'd love for you to join me in making a difference today by doing something which allows you to reach out to someone who needs a little compassion in his/her life. It might be an elderly person who rarely gets mail or maybe needs some specific encouragement. It might be a college student who needs some encouragement and support from a parent/grandparent, friend. Perhaps it's a service man or woman who is serving our country so that we can have the freedoms we so easily take for granted, while he/she and their family make this tremendous sacrifice for us. Perhaps it is someone who has lost a loved one and just needs to know that someone cares what they are going through. Whoever it may be, please take the time right now to reach out to that person who comes to mind....send them a note of love and encouragement; pick up the phone and call them, or simply say a prayer on their behalf. You CAN make a difference. I have a feeling when you start reaching out in this way, you may not be able to stop! Here's to COMPASSION and sharing it!

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Who's Out of Your League - Learn How to Be in His League

2011-01-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

It could get really frustrating to know that the guy you're wishing to have wouldn't even look your way. Everyone seems to tell you that he's way out of your league. But is that where it all ends? Should you just listen to them and give up?

Lose hope and you lose.
Just because everyone says he's out of your league doesn't mean that he won't ever notice you! You could be a bit intimidated at the thought of a man who's way up there - but don't stop believing in yourself and what you can do! Let go of all insecurities so that you'll have a good chance at attracting him.

Let your personality radiate.
If you believe that you're a pretty woman, then all you have to do now is to impress the guy. Go out and party with the same crowd that he's hanging out with. This is one good way for him to finally notice you.

Pique his curiosity.
The more he sees of you, the more that he's going to see your best qualities. Keep putting your best foot forward and he would inevitably notice you. Strive to appear as a mysterious woman to him.

Show him that you're at par with the women in his circle.
Though others may see you as a notch or so lower than the women that he commonly dates, this shouldn't deflate your confidence. Strive to show him that you're equally pretty, equally intelligent, and equally bold. Soon, he'll realize that you're just as enchanting as all the other women he has adored in the past!

Talk with smartness.
Have enough courage to approach him and strike a conversation. This is a good way to make him notice you and how special you actually are. Don't focus on making blunders, focus instead on making a great impression because you are capable to mentally excite him.

Believe that you're no different.
If everyone believes that he's out of your reach, then believe that he's not - it's that simple. Believe that you're a diva - through and through.

Make him laugh out loud.
Though you may be discussing a serious topic, a person with a great sense of humor would find it easy to make funny comments along the way. This will make your conversation exciting. If you can make him laugh at your witty remarks, then you're halfway through in trying to win him.

Men, Is There Really Such A Thing As Good Pickup Lines?

2011-01-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

You're out at a bar with your friends when suddenly, the woman of your dreams walks in. You gather the courage to walk up to her, then you smile and say, "Are you a thief? You seem to have stolen my heart."

What happens next? Does she laugh at you and walk away, or worse, throw the rest of her drink in your face? Most guys find the act of approaching and picking up women an almost impossible task. This is primarily because you've probably already formed the opinion that an attractive woman will never seriously consider an "average or normal" guy like you.

This way of thinking is what makes a lot of men hide behind what they believe are good pickup lines that are guaranteed to get them into conversation with an attractive woman. But then, are there really such things as good pickup lines that are guaranteed to work? Well, pickup lines can indeed serve the purposes of breaking the ice and starting a conversation, but they are not guaranteed to deliver the results you expect in and of themselves.

What do we mean by this? Well, this simply means that the manner in which you deliver your "lines" is more important than the actual words. In fact, a study done at the University of Chicago revealed that there isn't really such a thing as good pickup lines that are guaranteed to work. The same study showed that saying "Hi" or "Hello" can be the perfect introduction, as long as you do it in a casual and confident manner.

That's right, saying "Hi" in a simple and casual way, without any innuendo or hint of a hidden agenda is your best bet for starting a conversation with an attractive woman. You may then follow-up with a neutral question such as, "How do you like the band?" What's most important when you approach any woman is that you adopt the following traits and characteristics:

Be confident

Be spontaneous

Master the right body language and tone of voice; and, above all

Be natural

A pickup line, by itself, can be cheesy, funny, weird, or lame. But any line can actually work when it is delivered right. Bear in mind that there is no such thing as good pickup lines that work perfectly all of the time. There is, however, a right way to make even the simplest pickup line work anytime. The key is in having the right mindset and adopting the necessary traits and characteristics that will make the art of flirting come naturally to you.

The bottom line is that even the worst pickup lines can deliver the ideal results if you use them with confidence, spontaneity, and a healthy sense of humour. It is also important to be genuine because women have the uncanny ability to see through any pretension. You never know, the real secret to successfully picking up beautiful women could lie in a simple, five-letter word. To paraphrase what a movie character once said: You can actually have her at HELLO.

The Tips in Attracting a Girl

2011-01-12T00:54:00.000-08:00

It happens to the many of us, that we like a girl and she does not know about it. She does not notice your smiles and is not attracted by your interest in her. You are just like a stranger to her. You made your plans to convince her in this regard and ask her for a date. You try to find out different ways to get her involved with you and made her agree on a date.

Now we come cross some of the successful tips that will help you to attract the girl.
1. First of all you should try to meet her with confidence. You have to be well prepared mentally and physically to approach her. But, try to understand that don't be extra involved in this stuff only maintain a good balance.

2. Your talk should be proper and to the point. Don't try to say the same sentences again and again. Speak in your natural style with over trying.
If you are lost in your own words, it's no problem. The girls not take it wrong. The only thing important in the conversation is the proper selection of the words. Don't ask a lot of questions in the introductory talk but should try to introduce you in an attractive way without flattering too much.

3. The girls have varying type of nature during the month and on special days they lost their temper quickly. Therefore, you should not irritate too much on those days.

Your initial move will decide that how the things will proceed. Therefore you should be kind and gentle to her. If she ever needs your help, do not hesitate to be her helping hand. She will definitely like it.
Don't be shy and try to know her as much as you can. This will help you in developing the mutual understanding to move forward.

Is There Any Way to Tell If a Man Has Had Thoughts of You Romantically? Solve This Mystery Now

2011-01-10T04:53:00.000-08:00

To love and be loved in return is a feeling that all human beings crave for. And so if you're eyeing a man yet you're not quite sure if he's been thinking romantic thoughts of you, here's how to tell:

He eagerly pays attention.
No amount of distraction could peel away this man's eyes from you. He's too eager to hear what you need to say. You would also observe that he seems to have this glazed expression on his face as he looks up at you.

He asks for information about you.
Either he asks this directly from you or he would ask your closest friends to tell him any data concerning you. He's interested in knowing what your dreams and ambitions are, what you do with your spare time, and what activities you engage into.

He willingly escorts you around.
He chauffeurs for you; he even goes out of his way to carry your luggage and shopping bags; he's also the one who's out to open doors for you. No, he's not your slave, he's only trying to prove that he's the ultimate gentleman.

He always singles you out.
Since this guy is already consumed of romantic thoughts of you, he will do all he can to show you how much he cares each time he's given an opportunity to demonstrate his feelings. He is intimate with you but is just plain friendly with all other people.

He'll coax you to go out with him.
He will tell you all about the places that he has visited and that he's aching to take you to. He will come up with picnic expeditions and weekend getaways just so he could entice you to go with him.

You'll see him flirt.
Since his thoughts are of you, he will see to it that he'll win you with his flirting techniques. He would preen and impress you with everything that's lovable about him. He also won't be able to resist touching you because he's so consumed with his bottled feelings for you.

He'll detest competition.
If other guys start to get near you, this guy will try to take you away from them. He'll also make sure that you would be engrossed with him so that you won't be tempted to look at his competitors. In fact! You will see him getting jealous even if you talk to any other guys when he is around.

Best Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Happy? Use What You Have to Make Him Feel Wonderful All the Time

2011-01-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

The biggest mistake girls make is to believe that unless they are drop dead gorgeous they will never be able to make their boyfriends happy! The truth is that you should just be able to impress him and keep him satisfied in every way. Once you do this, he will find himself thoroughly pleased with you and will not want to go in search of excitement elsewhere! Here are some key tactics to keep him happy.

Be confident of your own personal style
You don't have to copy someone else or try to be who you are not! He has to love you for who you are and accept you just as you are. Once you are yourself and he begins to love you dearly, he will be happy to be your guy. He will become captivated by you and your charming ways.

Be the girl who is most sought after
Most men love to show off their girls. If you want your boyfriend to be happy then make him proud. Make him want to flaunt you to all his friends and family. When he sees other men ogling you and looking at him in envy, you can be sure he will be thrilled to have been the one who got you!

Satisfy his desires and don't make him beg!
When your boyfriend is truly satiated and satisfied with you - physically and emotionally, he will have no cause to leave you in search of someone else. Don't make him beg for your favors, instead be understanding and accommodating so that he feels confident of your love and devotion. This will give him a huge boost and keep him happy.

Make him feel respected and admired
If you respect him and truly appreciate him and all that he does for you, he will feel content and happy to be with you. It is only when a man does not feel appreciated that he finds the relationship wanting! Make him thrill to your touch and feel special because of your tender loving care.

Don't criticize him
No man can continue in a relationship if he is being constantly criticized. He will be on edge and will find that he cannot relax when he is with you. If on the other hand you encourage and compliment him, make him feel sexy and attractive etc it will do wonders for his ego and he will be very happy to be with you.

Show him that you will stand by him
If you can prove to him through your behavior and attitudes that you love him enough to stand by him whatever the situation may be, then he will grow to trust and depend on you. This type of a relationship will keep him happy and satisfied. He will feel confident enough to face anything with you by his side.

Never cheat or flirt with other guys
It is automatic that a guy is thrilled and at peace in his heart when he knows that he has his woman's loyalty and faithfulness. If you give him your wholehearted devotion and attention, and do not flirt - not even a little harmless flirting - with other guys, he will be very happy and feel blessed to have you.

How to Be Absolutely Sure a Guy Likes You - Here's How to Figure Out What He Feels Towards You

2011-01-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

You could spend a lifetime figuring a guy out and you might still come out to be an amateur when it comes to reading what's in his mind. If you want to ascertain what this guy is feeling for you, here are ways that you could find out:

He's nothing but calm when you're around.
Though he may want to behave confidently, you could still feel his uneasiness because your mere presence has a great impact on him. The closer you get to him physically, the more clammy and ashen white he gets.

He will pretend that everything's cool.
The last thing that this guy wants is to have his feelings become obvious. So he'll try to appear cool in front of you. He will try to impress you by cracking jokes or pitching comments on what you just said. He will have an unmistakable fondness for you.

He will always steal glances at you.
Try to see him through your peripheral vision. If he keeps looking at you when your attention is somewhere else, then this just proves that he's starting to like you. Try to flash a meaningful smile at him and he could very well blush like a tomato!

He doesn't just take glances, he also observes you.
There's more to his glances - this guy wants to find out if you're also feeling the same way about him. Do you also feel uncomfortable when he's around? Do you blush when you see him? Any significant change on your appearance will also be considered.

He will show you his best self.
What better way to show you that he likes you than to present his best self. He will behave like a true gentleman and he'll also be the most decent and good-looking man out there. He might even buy new outfits just to impress you.

He has a cheerful demeanor about him when you're around.
This guy seems to beam with excitement the moment you step into the room. He will greet you with gladness because he's just happy to have you around.

Watch out for his flirting moves.
This guy will move like a pro and he will try to win you with those artistic yet subtle flirting techniques. If he's not used to flirting, he might even end up embarrassing himself, but what the heck! This just proves that he likes you so much that he can't even get his pickup lines right!

If a Man Is Not Attracted to You, Would He Kiss You or Want to Kiss You? - A Guide to His Actions

2011-01-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

A kiss is a very intimate thing as it sets the ball rolling for a relationship. But a man will not kiss a woman if he is not attracted to her. Here is what you can do to understand a man and build the attraction.

Men kiss when the moment is sensual
The anticipation of a kiss builds up in a man's mind not only when he finds the woman attractive but also when the moment is right. In order to get a man to kiss you along with attracting him to you, you also need to make
the moment feel sensual.

He needs to find the woman stimulating
Attraction is something that can be built. If you feel that your man is not getting attracted to you then all you need to do is look for ways to stimulate your guy to develop an interest in you.

When you create physical closeness
At times when you create a physical closeness with each other you can make a man feel attracted to you. Sitting close where he can smell you or where you can initiate some form of physical contact, without looking like you are trying, is going to help to make your man feel attracted to you and eventually kiss you.

When you can stroke his ego the right way
A man can begin to feel attracted to you when you know how to make him feel good about himself. This means learning how to stroke your man's ego the right way. Talk to him about his strengths and complement him intelligently and your man will begin to feel attracted to you.

You can attract him with your wit and humor
Attraction can also be developed when you use wit and humor. If your man sees that you have a lighter side, are open to letting your hair down and are not overly opinionated then he will begin to feel a connection with you. This will help a great deal when you want him to kiss you.

Build on the comfort levels
Some men are shy by nature. Such men need to feel at ease and comfortable with the woman they are with and once they reach this level of comfort they are willing to kiss her.

Don't appear desperate to please your man
If you want a man to kiss you who doesn't seem too interested in you then you have to keep off from appearing desperate for his attention.

How to Figure Out If He Cares? Follow These Tips If You Are Very Doubtful About His Intentions

2011-01-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

Although you are dating a guy you are still not sure of his true feelings and you are constantly plagued by doubts as you want this relationship to succeed. This is one condition most women go through before they eventually settle down. Here are some questions that you have to ask yourself to see if he really cares about you.

How involved he is in your day to day affairs
If your guy is involved in your affairs and seeks an update on all that happens with you without intruding too much in your personal space then it means he does care about you. If he shows no such inclination then it means he does not care.

Is his devotion to you above board
He does not give the attention he gives you to other girls. When you are around he is totally fixated on you. This sign of devotion means that he truly cares about you and likes you.

Is he open about his affection for you
He does not hide his affection for you and in fact is very demonstrative about it. This also proves that he has nothing to hide and likes you and wants everyone else to know that too.

Is he there when you need support
Whenever you are in a tight spot you find him there ready to help you. At times even when you don't need any particular help he voluntarily helps you and does not expect any favors in return. If this is the case your guy definitely cares about you, in fact he loves you dearly.

Has he ever expressed interest in meeting your family
If your guy shows interest in your family and considers them his extended family then it surely means that he likes you and wants a future with you.

Is he possessive about you
Your guy does not like it when you act friendly with other males in his presence. You see a hint of sadness in his eyes when that happens. He wants you to be his only and this happens only when the guy is genuinely in love with you.

Where do you figure on his priority list
You occupy the top most spot in his list. Everything he does or plans to do is with your knowledge and your consent. This is a good indication that he loves you and will want to marry you in the near future.

Pay Close Attention Here-
Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning psychological trick which will show you- How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You -- and Give You The World.

Do You Have To Be Beautiful To Win a Man's Love?

2010-12-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

Do you really have to be beautiful to win a mans love? Of course not. Society has convinced us that we need to look a certain way in order to win a mans heart. From the commercials you see on TV to the ads on the Internet and in magazines women are shown an unrealistic example of how to look if we want a man. Why would they do this? Could it be because they want to sell us something to help us attain "the look" which for most women is impossible. If we fall for this lie two things happen. We make them money and we make ourselves miserable. If you're still with me read on to learn what I've discovered is really important to a man.
Men need something more than themselves: There are exceptions to just about everything in life but for most men they fill empty without a women. Men need someone they can share their life, thoughts and feelings with. Men are not looking for some beautiful super model but a women who also wants to share a lifetime of passion and memories together. Fact is most men are intimidated by a women whose most important feature is her looks. By sharing yourself with your man and allowing him to also share you can create a strong bond that has very little to do with physical attraction.

Men want what they can't have: If you are having trouble getting a mans love you might be trying to hard. Sometimes playing hard to get can be the answer. Men are notorious for wanting what they cannot have. If you appear to be distant and uninterested if only a little bit your man might began to take notice and wonder what is going on. He might just begin to look at you in a new light and be more receptive to you.
Men want what is real: While it may appear otherwise a real man, one you want to spend time with will appreciate the real thing. He most likely will want to spend time with you if you are genuine and not superficial. If you try to be something you are not chances are your man will see right through you and wonder what else you are hiding. Men find a women who knows who she is and what she is about very sexy. Be yourself and watch the way he acts differently around you.

The old saying 'beauty is more than skin deep" is certainly true so be yourself. Don't fall for what society says is beautiful, show interest in your man, act with confidence and watch your man fall in love with the real you.
If love is the ice cream, sex is the cherry on top and you deserve the best sex possible.

Ways to Tell If a Person Is Lying

2010-12-29T13:56:00.000-08:00

In life, there are a few skills nearly as useful as knowing whether someone is telling you the truth. For a man or woman who is unsure of their partner's fidelity, truth detecting can go a long way toward uncovering a wayward affair. For parents, it can help to keep children in line. And for everyone else, it makes interactions with strangers far easier. But, how many ways to tell if a person is lying actually work?

1. Fidgeting and Eye Contact
If someone cannot look you in the eye and sit still, something is up. If you have children, you probably learned this one very early in their lives, and it doesn't go away as we get older. For some people it may become more subtle and harder to detect, but very few people can sit with a straight face and look you in the eye as they lie.

2. Over Compensating
When they know their story is a lie, some people will over compensate and toss out a tremendous amount of extra information to try and sell it. Most people will only answer your questions, not volunteer extra details. Look for overeager story telling.

3. Pausing and Lack of Details
If someone pauses, waits on a sentence or simply doesn't have many details to fill in the gaps when you ask, they're at a loss for words. They are not only lying, they're bad at it and they're hoping you don't figure that out.

4. Being Unsure or Inconsistent
When trying to reconcile lies, people will grow unsure in their recollections. Sure, some people forget, but you can often tell when it's a matter of inconsistency instead. Look for your subject to grow confused easily and start backtracking to make sure they tell it straight, almost as though the story has been rehearsed.

5. Changing Subjects or Shifting the Focus
When someone changes the subject quickly, they want you to move on. They may simply be uncomfortable with the topic, or they may be trying to push the conversation into a more comfortable arena so they don't shoot themselves in the foot.

6. Giving Too Much Information
This comes back to the over compensation point. Imagine if someone got pulled over by a police officer for speeding and promptly told the cop that nothing was in the trunk. Of course, the cop now has just cause to look in the trunk because it was clearly a lie - way too much information and for no good reason. Look for similar hiccups in their story.

7. Formality or Stuttering
If someone talks to you too formally, the odds are that they've rehearsed the speech to some degree and are trying to remember it. If they stutter, they clearly forgot. Look for clues that the information they spent so much time preparing is unraveling.

A lot of people are horrible liars - far more than you'd expect. Create an outline of cues to look for and test yourself by having a conversation with someone you think may be lying. When you suspect that your spouse may be cheating on you, having this kind of information on hand can make lie detection far easier. Just be sure to gather additional information. Simply knowing that someone is lying doesn't mean you have caught them cheating. It just means they're lying to you. Now, it's time to figure out about what.

Make Him Fall in Love - The Secret to True Bonding

2010-12-28T12:03:00.001-08:00

How many women have you talked to about making a man fall in love? How many different ideas have you received? How many of these women have been successful in their mission to make a man fall in love? Let's take a look at all that this involves.

There is one initial problem that most women will encounter when starting up a relationship with a new guy. There usually is a lust verse love dilemma present in the very beginning. Basically, this exists in the guy's mind and it can be very confusing for him. He is driven by lust and he likes that feeling. Lust is easy, it's natural, and it is powerful and it will make him think that he is falling in love.

Unfortunately, this is not what is taking place. These physical desires are just happening to your guy, and he doesn't have to put out any effort to keep them going. But, they will begin to fade as the newness wears off, and, if you haven't put more into the relationship than physical satisfaction, your relationship will probably wear off also.

The secret is to make an emotional attachment with your guy before a physical one if you want to make him fall in love. This will take some effort on yours and your guy's part but this is the only way to have the substance needed to build a lasting relationship. You will be so much better off and have a much better chance at success if you keep the physical stuff out of the way in the beginning.

Don't give in to the lust until your emotional bond is firmly established. Once sex is introduced, you will not get your guy to focus on feelings. You better believe that his attention will be directed elsewhere. But, you have to remember that the only love that will last will be one based on feelings and friendship, so work on this first if you want to make your man fall in love with you.

You are the love of my life

2010-12-27T13:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone loves to say that you are the love of my life. But don’t you think that we loose our individuality in this process.I personally have a feeling that that every person in life fall in love once, or many times over and we often say that you are the love of my life. And, after falling in love, we never assume anything. It comes from the heart and we assume that loving someone means we should completely lose ourselves in love. But do you think you are the love of life means loosing Individuality? Shouldn’t we think that it will hard to make a comeback if we end up completely losing ourselves and our ways to an extreme point.

Too often we think that when we love, the singular ceases to exist and it’s all the other person and the plural “us”. It always happens that “we” that exists means that now, every minute should be spent with each other. For a while we seem to forget that the singular is a very important source of survival for us
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I always believe that you are the love of my life does not mean we surrender who and what we are . My point here is that we should not go to that extent that where we have nothing left to nourish our own individuality. This happens because we completely surrender ourself to the opposite person. You are the love of life doesn’t mean that we should leave our storage empty. From my point of view we should realize our mistakes that we make by falling in love and forgetting that it all begins with the individual.

You are the love of my life is you and me, keeping each other feel comfortable and beating the odds. There is no give and take here.

What to Do If you Happen to Fall in Love With Two Men at the Same Time

2010-12-26T04:32:00.000-08:00

Author: Mailcucan

if you are finding yourself torn between two men, this can be a very tough time for you. You will have a lot of questions that you are going to have to ask yourself and take the time to carefully sort through them to figure out what is right for you. This is going to be something that you will have to address because it is not a healthy relationship to have.

You will have to decide if what you are doing is good for you. Is it possible for you to have a healthy and loving relationship with two men at the same time? Are you going to be able to choose one over the other? These are things that you have to think about and then you have to think about them some more. You can be in love with two men at one time, but it is not something that you can act upon without getting yourself hurt.

Top reasons why we can fall in love with two people at the same time

It is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time. When you find that you are having feelings for two people at the same time, this can be a very difficult time. You may be having some feelings of love in the same way for these two people. This is going to be something that you will have to lay out on the table in front of you so that you can see where your feelings are coming from.

It is possible to be in a loving relationship and still find yourself having feelings for someone else. This is completely normal and it may just be temporary. Maybe this other person has done something nice for you or has shown you some kind of interest for one reason or another. This may trigger some emotional feelings towards this person and you may not understand why or how you can stop them.

There may be two people that are so very different from each other but for some reason they both have caught your attention and you like them for separate reasons. This is possible and you will have to come to terms with which one is going to be better for you. You must think about your feelings for both people and why you are having these feelings.

How do I determine which one is the right mate for me?

You may wander how you are ever going to decide between the two people. You will have to figure out which person is right for you. This will take a lot of thinking on your part. You will have to figure out what it is you want to have in life. What type of life do you want and which person will be better for you. You will have to spend some time with both of the people so that you can better determine which person you have more of a connection with.

Attraction is the main reason why people want to be together. They may have some sort of physical or emotional attraction for the other person. When this is the case, you have to dig down deeper and find out if there is another reason why you are so infatuated with this person. You will need to spend time together talking and finding out about one another so that you can better determine who is going to be best for you.

How do I make a wise decision without hurting both of them?

If you think that it is best to be open with both of the people that you are attracted to, you may find that this will end both relationships. Some may not take the news that you are in love with two people very well and they may decide to make the decision for you by ending it. If this is the case, you may have some relief knowing that the problem has now been solved and even though it is over, you may feel a little more relieved. This feeling may be one that you have anticipated for a long time.

There are some people that just decide it is impossible to choose between the two and it is a wise choice to let them both go. This is going to be a hard decision to make; however, in some cases, it is the only possible outcome. You cannot string someone along and make him or her wait for you because you cannot make up your mind. You may have a strong connection with both partners, but you know that it is wrong and you have to do the right thing.

The main thing that you need to remember is that you have to do what is best for you. It is important to make sure that you have your best interest in mind. You need to put yourself ahead of anyone else so that you can have it all and make all of your dreams come true.