The Dilated Pupil's Reviews

Sucker Punch

2011-08-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hot girls in fetish outfits fighting steampunk nazi helghast using katanas, guns and...is that big daddy!? Watching this movie makes you realize how good Last Action Hero really was. Actually, it makes you realize how good Howard the Duck and Phantom Menace are.

The Drowning Pool

2011-06-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

*** - Paul Newman plays a slightly creepy private investigator caught in a web of southern small town politics. Not as good as may of his other movies, the cast is very good and it's worth a watch.

A.I.

2011-05-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. H.O.T.S has more inspiring qualities. You remember that scene in Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World where the T-Rex gets all hopped up on freedom and runs rampant through L.A.? The last 2 hours of this movie are like that without any of the good parts. If you're interested in being slapped around with metaphors, video game quality narration (lazy storytelling) and horrible editing then A.I. is the film for you.

red eye

2010-08-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

*** - A thriller that eschews the stereotypes and has a strong female lead until she makes some completely annoying and ridiculous decisions down the stretch to setup a Craven trademark "girl running up and down stairs" scene. Predictable but Cillian Murphy is fantastic so I'll give it a three.

the outsiders

2010-08-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

This movie of which the name will never be uttered from my mouth again, was a bad attempt at stereotypical 1960s rip-off of West Side Story complete with overacting, painful musical score and ridiculous editing. It's as if the editor said, "seriously? this is what you're giving me? OK, screw it, you're the Coppola."

I couldn't believe what I was watching when the homoerotic rain soaked fight scene that had absolutely no setup whatsoever (including blue-skies the entire day leading up to the fight!) occurred as if by magic spewed forth from the miserable scene in a car outside a diner. Brutal.

Also, the writing was on par with Carnosaur or Piranha. It's my opinion that with the exception of Dillon and Lane, the only actors to become famous after this movie did so due to the fact they didn't have any dialog in this one. It's right up there with such timeless classics as Hottie and the Nottie and 10,000 B.C. only it has no redeeming qualities. That's right, both of those movies deserve Oscar nominations for writing before this movie deserves anything more than a Netflix 1 star rating.

Lost 1:31 and I'll never get it back.

Red Rock West

2010-06-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

One of the strangest casts I've seen in a while with Cage, Boyle and Hopper playing out a noir style thriller in the desert. It's a case of mistaken identity for Cage who does a decent job in not pissing me off with his lazy dialog style. Normally, I get really frustrated with these types of movies where characters cause more problems for themselves by not communicating (Man Who Knew Too Much) but Red Rock West does a great job of forcing fate on the characters and not on the viewer. This is probably my favorite Dahl film and it's an early Cage film so it doesn't suffer too badly from his usual "Cageness".

hopscotch

2010-05-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my Netflix instant queue for prompting me to check out this little gem. If you're not familiar with Walter Matthau this is a great intro to a great actor. It's a spy movie like many others but done with a little mischievousness and a lot more class. Matthau plays an undervalued and under appreciated Cold War spy that goes rouge to upset his manager making this an instant classic if you've ever wanted to really prank the hell out of your boss... There was only one really annoying gap and it comes at the end of the movie. I might have to re-watch the ending just to see if I'm crazy. Other than that it was great.

the killer

2010-05-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Before Hardboiled (below), John Woo made the killer which is probably the best of his HK flicks. The new Blu-ray was just released and I hear the transfer is much better then what's come before. I love this movie but I can't bring myself to buy it again as I already have an original and a counterfeit Criterion version laying around the house. If you haven't seen it, I'm pretty sure we're not actually friends. Sorry to break it to you this way.

hard boiled

2010-03-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

***** - Back in the early 90's a guy named John Woo made movies that weren't completely watered-down trash. The last of those movies was called Hard Boiled and it was amazing. A young Chow Yun-Fat plays a cop named Tequila and he's out for revenge. If you listen to the commentary, you learn that they actually started filming without a script as the guy writing the movie died before sending in a final version. As far as I'm concerned the movie features the best shootout scene of all-time, it's roughly 45 minutes long and features a nursery ward evacuation. If you're a fan of action movies you should look no further than Hong Kong cinema in the late 80's early 90's.

hot tub time machine

2010-03-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

*** - It's hard to qualify but Hot Tub Time Machine is both amazing and forgettable. Crispin Glover plays out one of the best repeat jokes of the movie but his performance is completely flat as are all of the scenes with Chevy Chase. The script was plagued by "hey, wouldn't it be funny if we did x instead?" writing and direction. John Cusack plays the "grown up" version of his character from Say Anything, Rob Cordrey continues his role as the ugly-bald-white-drunk that he owned for his time on the Daily Show and Craig Robinson gives the best performance as Craig Robinson.

So with a predictable plot, flat performances and an homage to Ski Patrol, why would I give it a 3? Because Rob Cordrey is an awesome ugly-bald-white-drunk, John Cusack was hilarious in Say Anything and Ski Patrol freaking rocked. So long as you turn off your brain before hand you'll enjoy this great white buffalo.

JCVD

2010-03-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

*** - Van Damme gives an introspective performance about societies addiction to celebrity. I guess I liked it but the constant breaking of the 3rd wall could have used some trimming. Certainly the most interesting JCVD movie I've seen and one of the coolest intro sequences I've seen in a while. Nothing like his usual fare for those of you put off by the star.

slap shot

2010-03-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

*** - A hockey team of losers in the 70's trying to establish a fan-base in a town of layed-off factory workers. The most interesting thing about this movie is that Paul Newman is complete trash from start to finish. Rarely do I see a movie where the main character doesn't change. As for the comedy, and I do still think it was a comedy, the three brothers steal the show. Eh?

dinner rush

2010-03-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

**** - This movie took me completely by surprise. Nicely shot and well acted. I really enjoyed the parenting scenes with Aiello but the way the kitchen is filmed made it worth the watch. I'm completely amazed by cooks in city restaurants because there is simply no space and they're constantly moving. The timing makes it feel like Altman but better. As a side, if you enjoy restaurant movies you should add Big Night to the queue.

the machine girl

2010-03-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

*** - What's Japanese for "hell yeah!"? Kataude Mashin Gâru. Quick summary: Japanese school girl with one arm that's been replaced by a machine gun goes around getting revenge on Yakuza for the death of her brother. This is easily the bloodiest movie I've ever seen. As for the acting/directing...eesh. It's actually painful to listen to some of the dialog but the final boss battle is completely insane which is why I gave it a three.

role models

2010-03-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

*** - Enjoyable but pretty plain. The whole thing seemed very generic except for one element. The "party guy" character played by Sean William Scott was a good guy the whole movie. Typically that type of character is busy screwing things up but instead it was Paul Rudd's character that kept destroying his life. Oh, and the kids were hilarious.

gangster no. 1

2010-03-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

*** - Ah, there it is, that indie movie self-loathing. Aside from that, it's a very well cast, stylish-sometimes over substance-portrayal of envy. Paul Bettany is pretty damn terrifying and Malcolm McDowell does a sharp job as his older version.

funny people

2010-03-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

**** - Simply put, Funny People is my favorite Judd Aptow movie. It's also my favorite Adam Sandler movie. It's not 40 Year Old Virgin and it's certainly not Knocked Up. Instead it's a more realistic movie about an insecure but successful comedian that's faced with his own mortality and a new generation of comedians trying to establish themselves in the crowded LA comedy scene. Sandler does some really amazing but very small things during the movie that reminded me of several people I've known with similar success. I don't know if it was intentional but I guess that's the point.

King of New York

2010-03-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

** - It's strange when a movie is this bad but still mildly enjoyable. There are some classic characters but it has possibly the worst screenplay/editing ever. So what saves it? Walken is a crime boss recently released from jail looking for the big payoff and Caruso is the hot headed young cop and the dialog is hilarious. Not great but hilarious.

Avatar Synopsis

2009-12-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

This movie is basically a blatant mashup of other movies and games. Instead of doing a review which you've no doubt read hundreds of let me give a brief overview for the geeks. The rest of you can stop reading now.

***Spoilers a plenty!***

Orta played by Sam Worthington is a paraplegic Michael Bean that flies around on his Panzer Dragoon after taking the form of a native called Navi-yes, like Ocarina of Time. Orta mixes with the natives a la every movie you've ever seen and becomes their chosen one then fights flying warships and upgraded loaders from Aliens hellbent on destroying a giant tree (LoTR, FFX, etc). Michelle Rodriguez plays Bill Paxton but refuses say "game over, man. game over" which I found extremely disappointing. At the end, there's a boss battle against Duke Nukem who thankfully has seen the inspiration for his character because I'm sure I heard him say, "come get some".

The movie was a completely worthwhile rad explosion of special effects but in a Cameron way not a Bay way.

Also, 3D movie glasses are freaking lame and no, I don't like IMAX (aka. pukeavision).

Merry Christmas.

branded to kill

2009-11-29T22:52:00.003-08:00

Quirky Japanese (Redundant?) B&W mob movie.  It was OK but a little to Cerebral for my taste and left me wondering, "Why do people at Criterion feel it's mainstream therefore bad to like movies that are edited properly?" Oh, and Jo Shishido reminds me of Japan's answer to Orson Welles. Anybody?

fantastic mr. fox

2009-11-29T22:52:00.001-08:00

Everything Wes Anderson has ever touched has been amazing. The story is rather normal-cute but normal. However, the look of the film thanks to the usual Anderson visuals and STOP-MOTION ANIMATION is stunning. For those of you interested, apparently Anderson started making the movie with Henry Selick in 2004 but Selick quit in 2006 to make Coraline with Gaiman which is another amazing film. In short, get off of Facebook and go see these.

The Thin Blue Line

2009-11-24T23:14:00.001-08:00

First of all, I had no idea what this was about as I was 8 in 1989 when the events discussed in this documentary came to a close. I highly recommend that if you've never seen anything about this case, you watch the movie first.  It blew my mind. This is precisely what documentary filming is about. So, if the only "documentaries" that you watch are made by Michael Moore then you owe it to yourself to check out this movie.

gran torino

2009-10-08T14:41:00.001-07:00

**** - Clint Eastwood plays a racist old vet that just wants to be left alone. I think the reason I loved this movie so much is because of how much it reminded me of the western(samurai) flicks for which Eastwood made his name. At times the acting is pretty rough but I watched this movie as an old style action/comedy so the whole thing worked. I also really liked Tom Stern's work. He brings the pretty.

The Hangover

2009-10-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

**** - A nearly perfect comedy. Zach Galifianakis' comedy genius is worth the eleven bucks. Todd Phillips (Road Trip, Old School) avoids the slow lull that most comedies fall into when they have to apply a story to finish up the movie. Also, all of the characters seem to avoid the pitfall of being the-guy-that-screws-everything-up-for-everyone-else which is a refreshing change from most comedies.

update: i recently had a way crazier experience in vegas so this movie has lost a little something for me. still very funny though.

Dark City Director's Cut

2009-10-07T17:15:00.001-07:00

***** - A sci-fi classic on the level of Blade Runner and Metropolis. The incredible cinematography finally has a chance to shine on the new digital transfer. Alex Proyas hasn't made many movies but the two he made in the 90's (Crow, DC) set the tone for modern sci-fi. Great movie.