The Best Years

11 month Brinley

2016-04-30T13:29:00.001-05:00

•23.7 lbs
•About 30 wiggling inches long
•Size 3 diapers
•Some 18 month but mostly 24 month-2T
•5 FIVE teeth
•Pulls up and is cruising
•Took her first few steps with a toy box instead of her walker 😂
•Makes all kinds of mouth noises-popping her lips, clicking her tongue
•Refuses to sit still for monthly photos
•In the separation anxiety stage

Dear Brinley,

You are in a very difficult stage right now. It's hard for me, you and your dad and brother. You're cutting several teeth all at once, you've been sick a few times, and you've hit the separation anxiety stage. I'm exhausted and sometimes I'm not sure I can do another day. But I do. And it's worth it, even if it is the hardest thing I've ever done. You and your brother are worth every hour of sleep I lose, every shade darker the bags under my eyes get, my gray hair, and my constant yawning.

You continue to amaze and terrify me with how quickly you're growing. You took a few steps the other day without my help. You climb (and sometimes fall down) the stairs all on your own. You command attention from your brother and sometimes you even lead play time.

Your features are still so tiny but your personality is so big and vivacious! I sometimes forget you're already 11 months and then sometimes I forget you're *only* 11 months.

You have a pair of jammies that I love- they say, "Smart Brave Strong". That's what you are now and it's what I hope you continue to be.

Love,
Mama

10 month Brinley

2016-03-28T21:55:00.003-05:00

○ 22.5 lbs
○ 29.75 in
○ Size 3 diapers
○ Barely fits into 12 month. Wearing more 18 and 24 month clothes
○ Singing, clapping, sticks her tongue out, gives high 5, plays with a phone the right way
○ Waves and says bye bye
○ Crawling EVERYWHERE
○ Drops things as a game, hands things back and forth as a game.
○ Says, "Thank you, Dada, Mama, bye bye, love you, yeah, and mmmm"
○ Lights up when she sees Michall

Dear Brinley,

This month it has hit me hard that you're almost not a baby anymore, still my baby, sure. But you're almost a toddler and that makes me excited and breaks my heart all at the same time.

I have no worries about you standing up for yourself as you grow older. You already are assertive and make a lot of noise if you don't like what's happening to you or around you. It makes me smile inside while simultaneously kills me that you're already so strong willed.

I feel like I haven't had you long enough for it to have been a year and at the same time I feel as though you've always been here. You've always belonged.

It's an interesting feeling- having a child born and knowing that they belong to you- that they always have. That we had to have known one another long before we ever came to Earth.

I live you so so much, my sweet.

Love, Mama

9 Month Brinley

2016-03-28T21:40:00.000-05:00

○ 29 inches
○ 22 lbs
○ 2 little teeth
○ Size 3 diapers
○ Barely fits into 12 month
○ Table foods and baby foods and 2 bottles of formula a day
○ Still scooting
○ Dances
○ Gives kisses

Dear Brinley,

Hello my sweet girl! You are getting more and more interactive and so much fun to be around. You are trying so hard to get moving and keep up with your brother and his friends!

You love to be given attention- you smile at anyone and everyone who smiles at you. You're getting more and more independent and are obvious about your likes and dislikes. For example, you hate hate hate having your clothes changed. You scream and yell the entire time. But you love baths. You and Michael will play and splash forever in the bath and you very loudly protest when I take you out first.

Your personality changing and developing is so much fun to witness! I'm glad you're ours, sweet girl.

Love, Mama

8 month Brinley

2016-01-29T10:12:00.002-06:00

○28.25 inches long
○19.8 lbs
○1 little tooth
○Size 3 diapers
○12 month clothes
○2 6oz bottles a day and 6-8 Oz of solids and formula every 3-4 hours
○Scoots backwards and sideways on her tummy
○Scoots in circles and forward on her hiney
○Hair is long enough to pull up into rubber bands

Dear Brinley,

You are so confident! You are loud and happy and filled with joy! You are sassy as all get out and already know what I mean when I tell you, "no". You are beautiful inside and out. You are sensitive to your brother and when he's crying you reach your hand out to him. You are also sensitive to your brother and take his most prized cars away from him when he's not looking. You are mischievous and curious.

You want to be independent but also you want cuddles (your great conundrum). You want to do everything your brother does. You want to be able to move around like everyone else does but you just can't get those wiggly arms and legs to cooperate with you. You want everything you can get your hands on in your mouth. You want 3 naps a day. You want all of the bows out of your hair. You want your daddy to hold you anytime you see him.

You are our sweet angel. Even when you steal Michael's cars and he throws a fit he still loves you and ends up giving you a different car for trade. I still let you play with my hir even though I know you're going to end up yanking on it. Daddy still let's you rub your hands across his beard even though he knows you're going to get excited because it tickles and slap him in the face. We love you, sweet Bri Bri.

Live,
Mama

Stay at home mom life, man...

2016-01-18T16:05:00.001-06:00

Yall ever had one of those days where you feel like you're just standing there going, "What... what???" That was me.today.

Took Brinley in for a well check, we were running a little late getting there but we found a spot in the parking garage right next to the stairwell that leads to the Skywalk and my kids were looking cute and I was thinking, "HECK YES!" We got lots of compliments on how adorable the kids were, the doctor told me over and over that Brinley is such a "big and healthy girl!" Genetics, lady. Brinley got her immunizations and we left. And that, my friends, is when all hell broke loose.

Got down to our level in the parking garage and I'm internally gloating about how well behaved they both were, especially with Bri getting shots, and then I see Michael trip over some frozen snow in his haste to get to the car and out of the sub zero, hell freezing temperature. He skidded across the cement floor and then face planted into our car and then the cement floor. I ran to the car and threw open the door and sat Brinley down in the passenger seat so she'd be out of the cold and then turned around to check out Michael's face. I then hear a loud thud followed by Brinley's screaming. Turn around and she's faceplanted into the floor board of the car. I grab her out and put Michael in and get her strapped into her seat and check for damage-none, thank heavens. Back to the front seat with Michael who is crying and snotting and drooling all over and has a piece of skin hanging from his eyebrow. He let me wipe it with a baby wipe and I see it's not anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I hold him and love him and he decides he's okay so I go to put him in his seat and the M&M gods are smiling on us because there's an unopened package of mini M&Ms just sitting there waiting for a 3 year old to eat them.

I decide we'll hit hobby lobby first on my loooong list of places I need to go and Michael says he's so excited to go to "Hobby Hobbly". Wrong. He was lying. Michael was a ravenous monster the entire time we were there. We are talking screaming, wailing, gnashing of teeth. So much so that it got to the point where there was a woman following me around the store eyeballing me because every time I would take his hand and hold it on the basket, so he'd quit touching, he'd scream, "STOP HURTING ME! STOP HURTING ME, MOOOOOOM!"

I lost it and thought that I had enough stuff for a good start on the project I'm working on and tell him we're leaving. He asked if we were going to get Chick Fil A and I whipped around, glared it his red splotchy face and curtly said, "No." Lord stop me if this kid did not break every mirror in the store with the decibel of screeching that ensued. I'm surprised the windows didn't start shattering one by one. Once again I had to grab his hand and drag him to he check out. Checkout =screams for candy, a thump in the mouth from me, a gasp from the grandma behind me, giggles from the grandpa in front of me, and scoffs from the young girls behind me that their kids, "are never going to act like that." (Aka me, 5 years ago-good luck, girls).

So now, I sit in my car. Fearing to get out. Fearing waking up the beast that is my tiny dictator toddler today. Fearing that maybe I shouldn't have let him sleep in case he has a concussion. Children-some days we fear them...with good reason.

7 month Brinley

2016-01-08T13:45:00.001-06:00

○28.25 inches

○18.4 lbs

○Size 3 diapers

○12 month clothes

○5-6 Oz of solids mixed with rice cereal, formula, and sometimes yogurt every 3-4 hours

○Scoots on her bum a little but still won't crawl

○Nicknames: Brinley Bear, Bri, Sissy, Bri Bri

Dear Brinley,

Here's the thing about having a 7 month, bubbly, excitable, beautiful little girl- you make me feel like the most beautiful person on this earth! When you're laying down and I lean over you and my hair falls around my face you just have a look of wonder. You reach up and gently play with my hair and then look back and forth between my eyes and my hair. You just look at me with so much content and wonder that I just want to squeeze you until you pop!

You are so cuddly and snuggly and caring. You may not be able to crawl but when you're crying and I pick you up you pat mama's back. You sure are a compassionate little girl. But... you're also kind of manipulative! Haha You know that Michael will do everything for you so you look to him and cry and he gets you your toy or bottle or whatever it is that you want. Your sweet and sneaky! Haha But we all sure do love you!

Love,

Mama

The Truth About Having A 3 Year Old. Spoiler: They're horrible.

2015-12-23T21:58:00.002-06:00

So here's the truth about three year olds-they're horrible little humans.

Horrible at listening, horrible at skipping giving you as many messy sticky kisses as possible, horrible at washing their hands, horrible at letting you leave the house without giving you one last squeeze, horrible at wiping after they potty, horrible at not getting excited about everything.

I was putting my three year old to bed and I've gotta say-I feel like I'm being robbed blind. He was just born yesterday. Seriously, I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday. So anyway, now he's just growing up and it makes me cry and I feel like I've been robbed the last three years with him. I feel like it's flown by and I've missed everything and seen everything all at the same time.

In January Michael will start going to Primary at church...ya know, the place for big kids. I feel like I basically have a mini adult. He'll go and learn songs and make friends and learn more about Jesus and all that good stuff and I'll probably be crying again in another three years wondering how my baby is in Kindergarten.

So anyway, if you have a child under the age of three and you're thinking about letting them turn three, just don't do it. There's no going back after they're three. They'll snatch your heart with their sticky, little, chubby, unwashed hands. And if we're being honest? They'll probably lick it or hide it one of the toy bins....because that's what three year olds do.

6 month Brinley

2015-11-29T16:21:00.001-06:00

○Wears size 2 diapers
○Wears 6-9 and 9 month clothing
○28.25 inches
○18 lbs
○5-6 oz of formula every 3 hours and 2 jars of baby food with rice cereal mixed in once a day

Dear Brinley,

You're getting to be such a fun age. You're interactive, vibrant, bubbly, happy, and excited about everything. You continue to bring joy to everyone you encounter. Your personality is developing more and I can see you have clear likes and dislikes. You hate banana flavored things but you love fresh bananas and banana baby food. You hate having your clothes changed but you love long sleeves because you can play with them.

I love imagining the person you're going to be. I hope you keep this vivacious personality you have. I hope you make friends easily and that you're a good friend to everyone you meet. I hope you'll be a shining example to your peers of love, happiness, honesty, and optimism. I love the way you reach for your brother when you're upset. I hope y'alls relationship stays like this. The other day you woke up early, I brought you to my bed where michael was already sleeping and you fussed and tossed and turned and reached for Michael until I laid you next to him at which point you grabbed his hand in yours. Immediately your eyes started fluttering closed. My heart was bursting with love and appreciation for y'alls love.

You are such a joy, my Brinley Bear.

Love,

Your mama

5 month Brinley

2015-10-27T17:51:00.000-05:00

○Wears size 2 diapers
○Wears 6 and 6-9 month clothes
○26 inches
○17 lbs
○6 oz of formula every 3 hours and 1 bowl of rice cereal a day

Dear Brinley,

I can't even find words to describe how loved you are. You are the happiest baby I have ever met. You smile at everyone and are able to make every person who sees you feel special for making you smile. Making people feel special and loved is such a gift, one that I hope you're able to keep for your whole life. Your smile is absolutely contagious, I haven't met anyone who hasn't gushed about your smile and how sweet you are; and they're totally right.

You are growing up too fast for my liking. You've started sitting up on your own and it makes my heart ache to know that soon you'll be on the move and refusing mama's snuggles. But on the flip side, soon you and Michael will be in the playroom giggling uncontrollably and playing with cars and dolls together. And that is worth trading my mama snuggles if just for a short time.

I love you, my sweet.

Love, Mama

4 month Brinley

2015-09-28T22:15:00.003-05:00

○ Wears size 1 diapers but we've bought size 2 bc the 1's are getting awfully snug! 😀
○ Wears 3-6 (barely) but mostly 6 months clothes because she's so dang long. They just hang of of her midsection but what can ya do?
○ 25.5 inches
○15.11 lbs
○ 6 oz of formula and 1 bowl of rice cereal a day

Dearest Brinley,

Your personality is developing faster than I can keep up and that makes my heart ache and rejoice at the same time. My feelings about you growing are just a big contradiction. I want you to stop growing but I want to see the person you're going to be. I dread you not "needing" me but I long to see you as an independent adult. I love you being a baby but I hate all the vomit and screaming with no other communication.

Someday, my sweet, you might have a child of your own and you'll feel the same heartache and confusion and joy and peace that I feel with you and Michael. Everything about my life is made better because you are here. I know there will be someday when you're an angsty teenager and you think that no one loves you or cares about you- do not believe this horrible lie. You were longed for, you are loved, and most of all you are needed.

Love, Mama

3 month Brinley

2015-08-27T17:27:00.001-05:00

-Wearing size 1 diapers
-Wearing some 0-3 month clothes but mostly 3 month
-Eats 5 oz every 3 hours
-25 inches
-13 lbs, 6 oz
-Is starting a nap routine! 11 a.m. and 3 p.m.
-Becoming more interested in toys

Dear Brinley,

You have been so cranky the last few days and have absolutely worn me out and yet I continue to look forward to your waking up every morning so we can talk and play together.

You have become so much more lively the past few weeks. You light up when you see Michael, your daddy, or myself. You hate tummy time and love to be held.

I can already tell that you have a feisty little spirit and personality. You want what you want and you don't like any different than that. It's fun and scary and I think ahead to the challenges that we'll probably have knowing already how sassy you'll be (no idea where it comes from).

You are so blessed with a beautiful face but more importantly will be how you develop your inner beauty. That much is up to you, the good looks you can thank your lucky genes for but your inner beauty? That's all created and maintained by you, my love and I hope you can see that as you grow.

Love,
Mama

2 month Brinley

2015-07-27T19:05:00.001-05:00

2 month Brinley:

○11 lbs 14 oz
○ 23.75 inches
○ Size 1 diapers
○ 5 oz every 3 hours
○ Smiling, begrudgingly working on neck control, cooing, tracking g with her eyes, and grasping things.

Dearest Brinley,

Have I told you lately how absolutely precious you are? You are such a joy to have in our lives. Michael has always had a tender heart but ever since you've joined our family his heart seems to have grown ten fold. He rushes to your side when you cry, wears your headbands, makes sure you are never without a pacifier, lays with you on the bed and your play mat, and is always saying, "Brinley so sweet, mom!" While he rubs your arm.

You will always be the one that made him a big brother, an oldest child, and a loving friend. He will be your first true friend and you will be his. You will grow together and I hope that you will always stay close to one another in every trial that you both will go through in this life. A big brother, a good big brother, is such a blessing. You will drive one another crazy and you will cheer one another on.

I can hardly wait to see you two grow together as time passes. Thank you for being Michael's little sister. You are loved more than you could possibly imagine.

Love,
Mama

1 month Brinley

2015-06-27T20:54:00.001-05:00

• 9 lbs, 4 oz
• 21 inches
• 4-5 oz every 3-4 hours
• Sleeps about 6-7 hours at night! 😀
• Wearing size 1 diapers
• Wearing 0-3 month clothes, they're baggy but she's too long for the newborn!

Brinley,

You are a ray of incredibly calm sunshine in our lives. The amount of love that Michael has for you touches my heart every day. He's normally the first one to your side when you're crying and is saying, "Shh shh shh don't cry, Brinley Bear."

I never wondered if I'd love you as much as I love Michael. I've always felt such peace knowing you were coming and I always knew I would love you. Your calm easy going demeanor is so wonderful.

If there's anything I ever want you to remember it's that you are so wonderful just how you are. You are a so physically and spiritually beautiful-you were fearfully and wonderfully made. There isn't anyone on this Earth that knows you that doesn't care for or love you. You capture everyone's hearts. I can tell you will be such a beautiful and strong woman.

Love,
Mama

Bug 1

2014-12-07T18:05:00.001-06:00

December 7, 2014

Dear Bug,

I found out that I was pregnant the first weekend of October. Soon after, I went to the doctor and discovered that I must have found out about you soon after you decided to stick around. Your dad and I contained our excitement about you until I was 12 weeks-November 18th just to be sure you would stay with us.

Being pregnant with you has been juuust about 0% like being pregnant with Michael. With Michael, life didn't change too much, I was sick sometimes but not horribly and not consistently. I had a few minor cravings but nothing crazy. I wasn't tired, I went to school full time with a part time job and then had a full time job. It took some time before I looked pregnant and not just chubby. So far, with you I have been so sick that some days I had to lay on the couch and hope that Michael didn't do anything that required me to get up. I was like that until my beloved doctor prescribed me some NO SIDE EFFECTS sickness medicine. After I finally got that I was good to go. During my first trimester I was so tired that I wouldn't get up until about 8:00 a.m. take a 2 hour nap during the day and then go to bed at 8:00 p.m. and I still couldn't keep my eyes open. I get cravings with you...like I think I might die if I don't get the spicy ranch from Sharky's. I woke up last week, and was shocked about having a very baby looking baby bump. I cried....I cried a lot. I still cry. I wasn't ready for the sudden change. All of a sudden my pants hurt, I've had to pull out my maternity clothes already.

I ate eggs and drank some orange juice on October 14...the idea of eggs sounded so good. However, even as I sit here now thinking about eggs, I want to puke. I was laid up in bed, not even 30 minutes after breakfast, for the rest of the day. I had to make a mental note, no more eggs or orange juice. I couldn't eat eggs or drink orange juice when I was pregnant with Michael, either.

I have had two sonograms so far, one to date how far along I was and the other to listen to your heart beat. 171 strong beats per minute both times. How lucky I feel to have you. How terrified I feel to have you. All the worries from being pregnant with Michael come back to me. Everything that went wrong, the pre-eclampsia, the induction, the NICU. But it's easy to push those things out of my mind when I see your sweet older brother dancing, singing, acting like a puppy, giving you kisses through my tummy. You're a lucky baby to have Michael to look out for you. Love you, sweet bug.

Love,

Mama

Baby Bear 17

2014-12-07T17:06:00.002-06:00

November 25, 2014

Today was a lazy morning. We laid in bed for way too long this morning, reading "Blue", having tickle fights, and giggling. You wanted some chocolate that I have on the headboard since I was craving it something awful a few weeks ago. I gave in, what's some chocolate going to hurt? Some mornings, fighting about what is and isn't okay for breakfast really just isn't worth it. Am I going to let you have chocolate every morning? No. But every once in a while I think it does way more good than it does harm.

So when I bit the piece of chocolate in half and gave it to you, you were overjoyed. Like, overjoyed is an understatement. Pure untethered happiness. Joy. You smiled at me and a little chocolate drool escaped your sweet little lips. I laughed so you laughed. Good gracious, do you know how infectious your laugh is? No one, and I mean I really have never met someone who when you laugh did not also laugh. It's such a gift that you can make people laugh and smile with your own laugh and smile.

You laid down next to me on your side and looked into my eyes. I wanted to cry. I could see how much you loved me in those sweet blue eyes of yours. You kissed me and laughed and reached for another piece of chocolate.

I'm so glad I gave you chocolate instead of a real breakfast. I know you love me of course but to see it in that way. I'm so happy to have you my sweet boy.

Love,

Your mama

Confessions of a Stay At Home Mom...brace yourself

2014-08-21T21:21:00.001-05:00

I first started this blog post a few months ago and stopped..."What if it sounds too catty?" "What if people read this and never want to talk to me again!?" "People at church (acquaintances) are going to think I'm INSANE!" Those are just a few of the thoughts that prevented me from writing. However I'm two months older and wiser? (HA) and mostly I just really feel like if I don't get this post out there I'm going to explode! So here goes nothing... a weird list of my confessions as a Stay at Home Mama.

1. This one is really from when Michael was younger buuuut: Just because you pass your child around like the flu doesn't mean I do. If I allow you to hold my child, (yes, I am saying this like it's a privilege because, well, it is; holding someone's child is NOT your right.) do not pass him onto someone else. This is a HUGE thing at church or at workplaces. People assume that you can pass someone else's child off. I was raised to ask first and I kind of expect(ed) the same courtesy.

2. When my friends ask if I'm going to get fake nails I politely lie saying that I don't really like them. HERE'S THE TRUTH: poop does not come out from under them nails.It just doesn't. It doesn't matter how hard you scrub, what tools you use.IT.WON'T.COME.OUT. And that, my friends, is disgusting...and definitely not sanitary. So for now I will paint my ever chipping nails once a week or pay for some shellac.

3. There are days when I seriously contemplate putting Michael out on the front porch with a sign that says, "For Free". Or maybe "Two for one. Screaming toddler and barking dog!" *Facepalm*

4. Scenario: I'm walking around the store with an inconsolable screaming toddler in my basket. Should you A.) Ignore me. B.)Look at me smiling with that "We've all been there, sista" look. C.) Walk up to me, blocking my basket and say to my toddler who you do NOT know "Oh Honey, what's wrong? Is mommy being mean to you?" HINT: If you pick A I won't notice you. If you pick B I will be ever grateful to you. If you pick C. I will very begrudgingly suppress the urge to punch you in the throat. I can't promise success.

5. On the same note- if my child is screaming and you reach out trying to comfort him he will scream harder. He does not know you. He is in stranger anxiety overload right now...please save you and me the embarrassment and just...leave him alone.

6. Some days I feel useless to the max! I went from working at a job where I as helping (or at least felt like I was helping) people day in and day out. I worked with professionals-some who are the best there is in the city, region, state, southwest! Now...I stay at home with my, sometimes a monster, child. I know, I know, it's a divine calling. I get that...I just don't always feeeeeel that way.

7. I am somehow more exhausted now than I ever was working 60+ hours a week. I used to go to bed around 11 or 12 because I had been working and get up at 5:30. Now I go to bed around 11 or 12 because I'm catching up on all the Netflix I was daydreaming about all day amidst the diapers and the time outs (Police Women of Dallas, y'all) and drag myself out of bed when Michael wakes up between 7 and 8. PUH-THETIC. This is something that I plan on working on but still....

8. I get so tired of hearing, "MICHAEL!!!" I think to myself, "Dang, if someone was yelling my name all day I'd probably do the exact opposite of what they were telling me, too." Yeah by the time that short thought has flown through my mind Michael has shoved another handful of dog food into his mouth, dived into the toilet (again), cornered Grammy's dog in the corner with a broom, emptied a brand new bottle of diaper powder all over his room, splashing in the dog water, or fallen off of something that looks impossible to climb. He may have, in that short time, done one or more of the aforementioned things... this is my day on loop.

9. Sometimes, I kind of just want a part time job. No, we don't need the money though it couldn't hurt any...I just need some adult time. I miss talking to people all day. I'm most definitely a social butterfly and it isn't easy for me being a stay at home mom. I go to play groups with other women at church but those are every other week or so because honestly play groups are reeeeally hard. Michael screams because of his stranger anxiety and then even after he's finally done screaming he won't leave my side. The play group is really more for me because I'm the one enjoying myself while Michael cowers behind me. Play dates, like one on one, are easier but even then...there's the dreaded and embarrassing blood curdling screams that will inevitably come from my child.

10. Please, please, please be patient with me as a mom. This one sounds super whiny and pathetic-I get it. But seriously, as ~~moms~~ women we tend to judge, judge, and then judge some more. I read a blog recently about a woman who was running through the grocery store while her son screamed. She said she saw another woman literally look down her nose at her and scoff-she wasn't bothered by it and God love her because I probably would have broken down into tears. There have been times at the store or at a restaurant where people give me the most horrible looks for Michael acting like...a toddler. I have broken down and cried once and I promised that I would never ever make another mommy cry for her child acting like a child. Now when I see kids having meltdowns about candy or toys or the sky being blue I smile at her and sometimes offer a "That was mine just a few hours ago." I can honestly say I have never had a negative reaction from someone that I offer a smile to.

So there was my weird list of confessions/rants. I'm sure as Michael gets older I will find more. And sorry if you hate me now because you know my mommy secrets. :)

15 things they don't tell you about child birth.

2014-05-26T22:21:00.001-05:00

I've seen A LOT of blog posts recently about childbirth and what they don't tell you, etc...all of them that I've read so far are all about natural child birth, none about c-section births soooo here's my graphic and slightly horrifying list of things I didn't know prior to giving birth but learned VERY quickly.

1. Just forget about dignity. Seriously...it's gone. Every man, woman, child, AND their dog will be "checking" on you downstairs while you're in labor. Checking to see how far you're dilated, etc.... Also after you've been sliced and diced you can't do anything yourself...really. You can't even stand that first time on your own, if you try you will get dizzy and faint (trust me). You can't use the bathroom, the nurse helps you and she keeps saying things like, "Don't worry, I do this all the time. Here let me help you. Here just spread 'em and I'll squirt for you." You know, comforting things like that coming from a stranger. Oh also, you can't shower alone...forget it. If you don't have an outrageously awesome husband, like me, that same nurse will be bathing you because you can't bend over. She has to wash anything and everything that will require you to stretch any of those muscles that have just been sliced through.

2. So.Much.Blood. Okay, I know this one is common, the whole on your period for 6 weeks thing...Um so I don't know what kind of period most people have but it was NOTHING like the bleeding for 6 weeks. Seriously, I've never had the kindest periods but uh those 6 weeks were brutal...just brutal.

3. Constipation nation. Yes, for some reason have your entire abdomen sliced open and a child pulled from your womb disrupts the intestinal flow...weird, right? It's horrible-just a head's up...take some stool softener with you in the hospital bag.

4. Pampered to DEATH. I hate being pampered and attended to. Quite honestly I HATE attention. My wedding day was both the best and worst day ever. Best for obvious reasons, worst because EVERY BODY WATCHES YOU...kind of the point of a wedding, I get it; but I digress. So you don't order for yourself, you don't use the bathroom yourself, you don't shower yourself, you don't do your hair by yourself, you don't sleep without being watched, you can't even walk-you're pushed in a wheelchair. So I mean, if you like being treated like a 4 year old then C-section is definitely the way to go. ;)

5. Lack of sleep is NOT because of your newborn. Okay so if you want me to sleep (they do) then leave me alooooone. My son's birth was not the easiest, I've written about it before, but seriously? This: "Get some sleep, mommy." translates to this: "I'm going to come in every 1-3 hours and poke you with a needle, give you medicine, take your blood pressure, and tell you that you need to drink some more water...and get some sleep." This happens BEFORE childbirth. When you go in and you've been induced they do the same thing except that in addition to everything they're doing to you throughout the night they're also checking to see if you've dilated any further....yeah you try to fall right asleep after that....I.don't.think.so.

6. Just don't bother bringing your underwear. Seriously. Just don't. They're no good. I was all a twitter about Michael's arrival. I went out and bought cute (and comfy) stretchy boy short undies. Didn't.use.a.single.pair. No I somehow, seriously, I don't know how they got them on me because I was drugged up and passed out, ended up wearing these ugly undies made of....gauze I think. They're horribly ugly, they're only good for one wear because they stretch out but...I believe that they are God's gift to women who've had c-sections. I realized that the underwear that I had brought, though comfy and stretchy, hit me right where they had cut into me. They gauze underwear, if you can even call them underwear, were amazing.

7. Stock up on those ridiculous pads. So I'm one of those people who gets embarrassed when my husband asks the restaurant if he can use an expired coupon or he asks for discounts or lower rates or whatever it is where ever we are. But when I was at the hospital they have these pads that are...military grade or something....When I look back I seem to remember them going from like mid-spine to my belly button (that's an exaggeration) but really, they were awesome. I asked the nurses for extras and I would just stock pile them because they were great. When I finally did run out I had to send Russell to several stores looking for the "biggest, ugliest, granny pads you can find." And he came through...

8. Your hormones are WHACK. You thought you were cray cray when you were pregnant. No girl, pregnant hormone don't have anything on postpartum hormones. You are crazy...and you have hot flashes. My hair was so oily I wanted to just die for like....2 weeks because it didn't matter what shampoo or conditioner I used, I was producing enough oil to rival the middle east. And I cried about it. I CRIED ABOUT HAVING GREASY HAIR. Hormones, y'all.

9. Swollen legs ain't just for pregnant chicks. My legs were so swollen it hurt to walk (which was good I guess since I wasn't supposed to walk.) But really, it hurt just laying in my bed. I called my doctor, frantic, and told him. He told me it was normal and that it would pass. It did but oooooooh my gosh was it painful (and horrifying to look at.)

10. When your milk comes in. You will most definitely feel like a cow...and you'll probably cuss about it. I can still vividly remember standing in front of the mirror after I got out of the shower. I kept drying off and couldn't figure out why I was still all wet....hint: it wasn't water that was pouring out of me-the milk had finally arrived about 4 or 5 days after Michael was born. I sent Russell to the house several times during those two weeks to wash and bring back t-shirts that had milk rings on them. No thanks.

11. Pumping is your friend. Seriously....pump. I looked forward to the hour when I could pump (you have to wait a few hours so you don't dry yourself out.) Your boobs hurt....like, painful crying hurt. Pumping was SUCH a relief and I loved it...most of the time which brings us to number 12....

12. Cracked boobs. If you breast feed they crack...oh and they bleed. OH and every time your kid latches on you kind of hate them for a split second because it hurts so bad. I remember one night I was feeding Michael and bawling my eyes out because my boobs were hurting and the nurse was like, "Why don't you just use some lanolin?" LANOLIN. OH MY GOSH. BEST INVENTION EVER. It definitely rivals the gauze undies. Use it. Love it. Don't hate your kid.

13. Paranoid. Whilst in the hospital you will feel SO PARANOID, at least for your first kid...I only have one so I can't comment on having more than one. I felt like I was being watched all the time, which is kind of true. But I felt like they were watching me waiting for me to do something wrong. They weren't, I don't think, but still....freaked me out.

14. Showers are terrifying. After you're home, showering is terrifying. Every other second you're sure that your child is screaming or dying or something. But please, for your own sanity and your husband's nose, shower. I wore/wear yoga pants several days a week and t-shirts but hey, I have showered. I have taken care of one of my basic needs.

15.Post-hospital exhaustion. After you get home, the adrenalin starts to wear off...and you feel pretty alone. There aren't nurses buzzing in and out talking to you, there isn't anyone who delivers your food for you. It's odd...and quiet...and awesome. But you are so exhausted but it's okay because your baby pretty much sleeps 20 hours a day.

So there's my 15 things that I thought you all should know about having a baby. Sorry for the graphic nature but seriously...these things are important.

Baby Bear #16

2013-08-31T23:21:00.003-05:00

Dear Baby Bear.

I should be working but I can’t. For about a week now, your birth and the following couple of weeks have been playing in my head over and over and I have no idea why.

I was rocking you the other night and the light in the living room was creeping into your bedroom and I had a flashback of sorts to rocking you after a nighttime feeding and the light from the hallway was creeping in underneath the curtain across the floor and ending between your crib and the crib next to yours. I closed my eyes and was thinking about how there were so many nights that I didn’t want to get up and walk over to the NICU-I was sore, I was tired, my hands were raw from washing and scrubbing them with the brushes, and I knew that feeding you would be painful physically and emotionally. I got up anyway, every three hours I was walking or being pushed in a wheelchair to see you.

The nurses knew me, they would always buzz me in before I even pushed the button, and I’d walk to the scrub room and scrub up. Sometimes you were already crying from hunger sometimes I’d have to wake you up. I would feed you and then rock you, when the nurses would ask me if I was ready to put you back I told them no…they eventually stopped asking and just let me be.

I would rock you in the ridiculously large leather recliner they provided for that room and sing and cry…usually for an hour to an hour and a half. I would finally put you back, and go back to my room, crying. I’d wake up in an hour and a half and do it all again. I can still remember the somewhat peaceful nights. The lights flashing in the room, the beeping noises, the oxygen machines, and the occasional alarm from either you or one of the other babies in the room. My heart would stop every time. I was terrified for you and the others.

I would spend my days in the room, sleeping, watching TV, or chatting with Grammy and Papa who came up every day to see you. Anytime the phone rang my heart sank into the deepest pit of my stomach. My heart would always pound so hard I thought it would fly out of my chest. It was never anything…not usually. Just calling to tell me you awoke early. One time however, one of the NICU doctors called. Your dad and I were both there as it was your dad’s day off of school. She wanted to speak to us.

We were approaching the one week mark of your stay. She told us that we could take you home but that you would have to be on 100% oxygen and at that point you were only on 23% in the hospital. She stated that there were conflicting studies on infants being on 100% oxygen but none of them had any healthy long-term side effects. She told us that she had been watching us. She’d been watching us struggle, sob, lose hope and gain it back. She told us that she understood that we wanted to take you home and that this was an opportunity to do so. We told her we would think about it.

We went back to the room and I sobbed. I wanted to take you home but I did not want to risk causing any ill health effects long-term. Your dad knelt down and I sat on the bed. He took both of my hands in one of his and he cried into my lap. Then he offered up the most sincere prayer of gratitude to our Heavenly Father I have ever heard and begged Him to help us and then he was done. He got up, kissed my forehead and told me to go to bed. That night he pushed the sofa up against my bed so that we could kind of sleep next to one another. We held hands all night.

The next morning we both decided that, as hard as it was for us to admit, you needed to stay. I knew that Heavenly Father was going to take care of you. One more week passed and almost to the day, the nurses told me that you were going home. You’ve never seen me move that fast, I promise. I stuffed all of my belongings into my hospital bag and had it waiting next to the door when your dad got back from school. I ordered him to get it all in the car and get back upstairs so we could leave-I’ve never seen your dad move so fast.

That’s all for now, Baby Bear. I love you.

Love,

Your ever adoring Mother.

Bedtime

2013-07-12T22:53:00.002-05:00

I find in my home that there are few moments more sacred or sweet than the ones that I spend rocking Michael to sleep. His last few glances around the world today are all of me. He sees me, he half smiles, he babbles, he snuggles in. His eyes flutter a couple of times, he may jerk awake to the sound of one of the dogs scratching their neck making their collar jingle. But he feels safe, I know he feels safe.

I am doing my part, I am trying desperately to prepare him for "the world". I'm trying to raise a boy who will be a man worthy of taking a wife someday. I want other women to be jealous of how wonderful he is to his wife and children. I want him to be strong and generous and kind. I want what most mothers want for their sons. I read him a story from his "The Children's Bible" almost every night and we have family prayer every night. I think I'm doing my part?

Still I can't help but feel inadequate sometimes as a mother. I see many of my friends who are mothers stay at home with their children and bond with them all day. Lots of things help make me feel as though I'm not doing everything I should. Snide comments from breast milk elitists or blogs written by women who think that a c-section does not really qualify as child birth. Or really, the one that eats at me day in and day out-I'm a a working mother. This becomes especially hard to cope with on Sundays for a couple of reasons. Most of the women in my ward are all stay at home moms, it's common in my church for moms to stay home, everyone wants to plan church get togethers in the middle of the afternoon, and I have to go back to work in less than 24 hours. I'm doing everything the opposite of how I've been told to do them. Am I wrong? I had a c-section, not by my own choice but to some (many) women that makes no difference. "Oh, you had a c-section? Well that doesn't really count though-I mean, you didn't actually have to birth Michael." Ummm, he's here, isn't he? I'd call that childbirth. "Ohhhh.....so you didn't breastfeed? That's a shame. You know they really benefit from breast milk more than formula." Well, as if it's anyone's business why I didn't breastfeed??? And yes I am a human living in the U.S. I see ads everyday about breast milk being better for babies...I've done the best I can for my son. I don't understand why women (I've been guilty before) want to tear other women down? Worst of all-I don't know why I listen.

It all draws me back to rocking Michael. He's fluttering his eyes closed and he knows me. He sees me, he feels me, he hears me, he smells me, and best of all-he loves me. He could truly care less that he is here by c-section, that he drinks formula or that I'm a working mother. He knows I come home at the end of every day. He gets excited to see me, he kicks and giggles. He knows that I'll be rocking, singing, reading, and cuddling every night with him and that makes everything that I'm doing the right way of doing it.

8 Month Michael; June 25, 2013

2013-07-11T22:11:00.003-05:00

8 Month Michael Likes to:

Army crawl EVERYWHERE
Find every cord everywhere you could possibly think of hiding it and chew it, pull it, or wrap it around himself, etc...
Sleeps at least 8 hours every night
Eat more solids-he's started eating those Puffs that dissolve quickly in his mouth
Play with his Moosie, Sophie, and colorful worm the most
Play in his exersaucer for loooong periods of time
Lick the dogs
Lick the floor
Lick us
Lick everything
Cheeeew chew chew

8 Month Michael Stats:

25.3 pounds
28 inches
Wearing pretty snug size 4 diapers
Pick up small things (like Puffs) and get them to his mouth...coordination is improving
Eats oatmeal and 2 jars of food at every meal.
Sticks his tongue out and licks everything

Russell and I are just IN LOVE with Michael! He's so precious and has began to be a tiny person (personality-wise). He has started laughing at things that he thinks are funny (like when Russell and I make stupid faces) and has started talking to us. If we babble at him then he will repeat our babble and then babble something else. He loves having little conversations with us but I'm pretty sure we love it more. :)

Michael and his puppies have such a sweet bond. They are always looking out for him and treat him like one of them. They have to check on him before he goes down at night and want to be in the room when we read him bedtime stories. They love him as much as we do, I think. Michael has started recognizing when we are getting near Grammy and Papa's house. When we ask him, "You wanna see Grammy and Papa!?" he giggles and kicks his legs.

Basically, Michael is perfect and sweet and precious and we're obsessed. Baby Bear has stolen our hearts and I wouldn't rather have lost it to anyone else. :)

7 Month Michael, May 25, 2013

2013-05-28T20:58:00.002-05:00

I'm 7 months!

BFF's

I have enough coordination to pick my binky up and put it in my mouth!

Happy, happy 7 month Baby Bear.

7 Month Michael likes to:

Drool...still
Continues to have a regular sleep schedule, in bed between 9:30 and 10:00 and up between 7:00 and 8:00
Will fall asleep ALL ON HIS OWN in his crib! :) We don't have to rock him or anything anymore; we just set him in there, turn on his music, and he falls asleep!
Has rarely been getting up to eat at night.
Reaches for toys he drops...he'll faceplant just trying to reach.
STAND with the help of anything around him...he doesn't pull up just yet he just likes to stand.
Reach for mom and dad and melt our little hearts!
Play on the floor
Beat on his belly with his hands and his dad's belly with his hands and giiiiggle
Try to sit up from a laying position and laughs when he can't...those little rolls on his belly squeeeze together. So cute. :)
Sleep through any and all loud noises but if you crack his door open he wakes right up.
Scream for ice cream...literally.
Draw LOTS of attention from everybody when we go out to eat.
Starting to have "favorite" toys. Like his monkey teether, his Sophie, and his Moose.
Grab his toes as soon as his diaper comes off...better than other things he could grab I suppose.
Grab anything in his reach...don't leave anything you like near him.

7 Month Michael Stats:

24 very solid pounds
27 looong inches
Moved up to a convertible car seat
Wearing size 4 diapers...they're still pretty baggy so that's good.
Has 3 solid food meals a day with bottles in between. He'll eat oatmeal, and a whole jar (sometimes jar and a half) of food.
Is now up to 6 ounces of formula in between some meals and at night
Wears 9-18 month clothes. He really just needs the 18 month clothes for tops because his torso is so much longer than his legs
Smile at Papa the most...probably because Papa promised to buy him a car if he says, "Papa" first.
Gets the hiccups anytime he gets excited or laughs hard.
Has enough coordination to pick up his binky and put it in his mouth! :)

7 Month Michael is PERFECT! Yes, he cries and is sometimes a very challenging baby but for the majority of the time he really is so very very chill! He is everything Russell and I could have ever dreamed of having! His personality is coming out so much and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I was looking at his newborn photos compared to now and I'm just ASTONISHED at how he's changed--both physically and personality-wise. Even his little voice has changed in the last few weeks, it has gotten deeper!?

He still loves playing in his exersaucer but his favorite activity is playing on the floor..and if the dogs are in reach, well that's even better. He likes to sit on the floor at Grammy's house and grab Thor's toes (the Great Dane). He sometimes just stares at Thor...I think he's worried that Thor's paws are just about the same size as Michael's face. :) He and Thor have been friends since Michael came home. Thor, like the other dogs, is always looking out for Michael. If Michael is crying, Thor runs to him to see what is wrong. Once, when Michael was laying on the floor crying Thor went and got his (Thor's) favorite toy, a ratty old squeaky beaver toy, and laid it down on Michael then he sat next to Michael until Grammy came to him. Thor always lays on the floor and he and Michael have staring contests then Thor will lick him...they really are great friends. :)

Michael, everyone who meets you falls in love with your sweet face and bubbly personality. We love you, Baby Bear, Punkin Pies, Lubber baby, Booger butt. :)

Baby Bear #15 You made me cry...in a good way.

2013-05-26T22:24:00.000-05:00

Dear sweet Baby Bear, May 26, 2013

Today you made your mother cry...don't worry, my love, they were tears of joy, love, wonderment, amazement.

At church today I had just finished telling your daddy that we don't neeeed to sit on the back row anymore. In fact my exact words were, "Honey we don't need to sit back here...I mean when was the last time we had to take him out?" Then...it began. Those fateful words were just the beginning. During Sacrament meeting alone I had to leave and/or stand up at least three times. Sunday School once. Relief Society....I heard like 5 minutes of the lesson.

Rewind to Sunday School. You were so fussy. I was so frustrated. I was thinking to myself, "Hoooow do moms make it through days like today?" There was nothing, NOTHING I could do to soothe you. Until...I was standing in the hallway feeling pathetically hopeless. The ~~thought~~ impression came to me to take you around to look at the pictures that are hanging in the hallways at church. It's church so obviously they're pictures of Christ, or related to Christ. The first picture you saw, was this one:

As soon as you saw this picture you began smiling and reaching for the portrait. My heart jumped to think that not too long ago you were with him. He was preparing you for this hard life. I just couldn't stop staring at you and then back to the picture in amazement. You were literally wiggling almost out of my arms trying to touch it. You were smiling and babbling non-stop. I don't think there are many other moments that can compare with that one in regards to how joyful I was inside. Then I continued to walk, you saw a picture of the Lion and the Lamb. You studied the colors of the picture but you were not engaged. Then we came to this picture:

Again the same reaction...you started jumping and wiggling. You were reaching, babbling, and smiling. You wanted the picture, you wanted to touch it, you were engaged. I just stared at you in amazement. How can such a small person have so much excitement for something. You may not know why you loved these pictures so much...who knows? I think you know exactly who Christ is. I know you lived with him before coming to this Earth. I know you walked and talked with him about your life to come. I know that you will forget everything soon, little one; but I promise to always help you to remember. I want nothing but happiness for you.

I never could fully grasp what other people meant when they said, "I've never loved like this." But really, anytime you're crying, I want to cry for you. When you roll off the front of the couch and bump your head, I wish it were my head. When you're crying because you're hungry, I wish it were me instead. How our Heavenly Father sent His son here to die for our pitiful sins is unfathomable to me. I could/would never do that. I love you Baby Bear. There is nothing you can do to change that. I will always help you to remember my sweet boy.

Love,

Your ever adoring mother.

6 Month Michael, April 25 2013

2013-05-04T21:19:00.004-05:00

Nom nom nom...toes

Feet!

FINALLY got one with his legs down.

Did you say cookies??

TOES.

6 Month Michael likes to:

Spit...and giggle about the spit he just got all over your face.
Drool a loooot, teeth coming??
In bed by 9:30-10:00 and awake by 8:00
Lift himself up when lying on the floor but cry because he doesn't know what to do next.
Squeal as loud as baby humanly possible
Hug the dogs
Fake coughs then laughs
Reach for mommy and daddy
Mood swings, much?
Stare at himself in the mirror
Pull on his ears
Sit up on his own
Stare at daddy and I while we eat
Reach for toys on his highchair tray
Chew on anything available...again, teeth coming?
Suck on his toes
Hold his toes...seriously, we can hardly get him to let go of them.
Stare at his toes...he just loves his toes, okay?
Giggle when mommy makes kissy noises at him
Be held all.the.time...we have hit that stage...ugh.
Be able to see mommy or daddy at all times.
Watch the dogs wrestle
Still loves those baths...especially the head scrubbing.
Smile sheepishly..seriously adorable.

6 Month Michael stats:

26 inches long
22 pounds (yeaaah....)
Wears size 4 diapers
Has three (or four) solid food meals a day. Some oatmeal or rice cereal and at least one whole jar of baby food..and 2 ounces or formula or juice depending on what we have.
Still eats 5 ounces of formula in between main feeding times and throughout the night.
Can wear 9-18 month clothes. We couldn't find any sleeper suits to fit him so we had to shop in the toddler section...the pants fit but uhh the shirt is too short. #mommyofagiantbabyprobs
Laughs when dad sings like "a grinch".
Sits up all on his own and usually catches himself if he's falling over.
Still belches like a champ.
Terrorizes the dogs...and they love him anyway.

Michael went to the doctor on 4/29 because we had been searching for a pediatrician and finally found one...He got his shots and for the next few days after that he either had a high temperature or was running fever. He woke up throughout the night crying because he was in pain or just felt yucky so Russell and I had him on a Motrin every 4 hours regimen. Since then though, he's been better.

The doctor was UH-mazing...He was so gentle with our little Prince and he thought Michael's size was comical...for once, someone who doesn't criticize us and tell us we're feeding our kid too much. Russell was quick to tell him that we only feed him when he's hungry and the doctor reassured us that Michael was healthy. He told Russell, "I give him an A+ health report!"

Michael is in the 97th percentile for weight (woops) and 60th percentile for height (really? only the 60th percentile?!?) His head circumference was a perfect 50th percentile. The doctor suggested (told us) to get Michael a convertible car to booster seat. He told Russell "Um...he's a little too tall for that infant seat..he probably has been a little too tall for awhile." To help Michael's continued tummy troubles he suggested we buy prune with apples mixed in baby food to help things along. To my surprise, he really loves it! :)

Michael is STILL so much fun even though he's gotten to be a little more attached than he used to be. He's so much more interactive which is fun and does things that he thinks are funny. Like spitting, or fake coughing, or throwing his toys on the floor over and over again. He's the best. Seriously. Get one, they're fun. ;)

5 Month Michael

2013-03-27T21:39:00.001-05:00

Hi, I'm so tall. :)

"KAIAAAAA!!!!"

Toesies

Monkey. :)

5 Month Michael, 3/25/13

5 Month Michael likes to:

Sporadically sleep well at night...can we go back to where you slept all night, please?
Scoot scoot scoot on his tummy
Play in his exersaucer like a boss
Watch his daddy play Battlefield
Stare at fans
Usually wake up at 7:00 a.m. but sometimes will sleep in until 7:15 a.m. :)
Laugh and laugh at his Uncles Dave and Tom
Be snuggled by anyone available
Flirt
Throw his pacifier as hard as possible and then suck his thumb
Mimic the sounds other people make
Hold his toes like someone's trying to steal 'em!
Play with his crinkly monkey toy
Have baths
Play with the dogs

5 Month Michael Stats:

Eats 5 ounces of formula every 3 hours or a bowl full of rice cereal and apple sauce mixed
20.8 lbs.
27 inches....hello 12 month pants. :)
Started wearing size FOUR diapers today....FOUR!?!?!
Sit up on his own for short spurts of time
Sing at church when everyone else is singing
Poop out his diaper and up his back at church
Can clear a room with his gas...serious tummy issues....
Ticklish everywhere! I love it! :)

5 Month Michael is so fun. He's changing so much so fast and I just want to put him in slow motion so I can spend more time with his current personality! He's really becoming his own little person. He is such a ham, always laughing and making others laugh. He loves to smile at everyone. It's so fun to see more and more of Russell and I in him. The crown of his head looks exactly like Russell's. His lips look just like mine. We love him so much-he is our little (big) pride and joy. We tell him every day that he the reason we do everything we do. I want him to be able to be proud of us someday when he understands all of the sacrifices we're making now for him later on.

4 month Michael

2013-02-25T21:48:00.000-06:00

4 Month Michael, 2/25/13

4 month Michael likes to:

Take short “cat naps” during the day and play the rest of the time.
Sleep 6-8 hours EVERY night.
Scoot a little on his tummy
Sneak licks from suckers when mom isn’t around.
Belch as loud as baby human possible in the middle of church.
Wake up at 7:00 a.m. every morning without fail.
Stare at himself in the mirror. Hey boy heeey!
Suck on his hands as often as possible.
Launch his pacifier…we’ve had to purchase a binky holder.
Snuggle snuggle snuggle.
Flirt with all the ladies, especially the elderly, at church.
Eat…he takes eating VERY seriously.
Blow raspberries, gurgle, and laugh.
Mimic others’ faces and sounds.
Lick the dogs if they get close enough but gives them a look of disgust if they lick him.
Watch the fan.
Sing! And loooves loves listening to classical music.
Dance with his uncles
Play on his rainforest mat.

4 month Michael stats:

Eats 4 oz. every 3 hours
26 very long inches
17.1 pounds
Wears size 2-3 diapers-the 2’s are getting a little…ahem, snug.
Sit in his bumbo for short amounts of time. He would much rather sit in someone’s lap.
Giggles when dad laughs.
Stops crying as soon as he hears his momma’s voice.
Holds his head up like a champ and observes what everyone around him is doing.
His collar bone is ridiculously ticklish, everywhere else isn't so ticklish anymore.
Active during church whereas before he would just sleep-he especially loves Sacrament meeting where he can stare at the pages of the hymnbook.
Michael talks and talks and talks to his Papa-he talks to him way more than anyone else…Papa prides himself on his ability to speak baby.

4 month Michael is my absolute favorite! His personality is so funny! He likes to make us laugh and loves to dance around when he hears music. He thinks we are the greatest and loves to talk to his Papa all the time! He takes naps best in our bed as opposed to his bassinet. I think it's so fun that he is starting to look more and more like me! His little chin and big lips are just like mine! :) He is so much fun to have around. We love him so much. :) My favorite thing to do is to kiss his birth marks. He has two little dots on his forehead and two spots on the back of his neck right at the edge of his hairline. Sometimes he stares at me and I am just dying to know what he's thinking! I'm sure I'll find out someday. Until then I'll just keep loving on him. :)