Left in Bay Ridge

Why I'm Voting For Mitt Romney

2012-10-09T00:37:00.000-04:00

Besides the jaw-dropping awesomeness of this video, she makes some really intelligent and compelling reasons why people should vote for Romney. Enjoy.

HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY

2012-10-08T18:21:00.000-04:00

ROMNEY v. BIG BIRD

2012-10-06T15:26:00.000-04:00

Mitt Romney's comment about cutting funding to PBS has unleashed a mighty anti-Romney/pro-PBS meme. Here are a few of my favorites. Big Bird is not taking this lying down.

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE FACT CHECK

2012-10-04T01:29:00.000-04:00

Here's a pretty good link to some fact checking about tonight's first Presidential Debate.

MAN EATEN BY HOGS

2012-10-02T03:07:00.000-04:00

You humiliate and roast a hog one too many times and eventually the hogs are going to fight back.

Terry Vance Garner, 69, never returned after he set out to feed his animals last Wednesday. A family member found garner's dentures and pieces of his body in the hog enclosure but most of his remains had been consumed. Oh those filthy swine!

No one knows yet if Garner suffered a medical emergency of if the hogs just had it out for him.

JUSTIN BIEBER PUKES

2012-09-30T14:23:00.001-04:00

Last night Justin Beiber proved he is the greatest ventriloquist of our time by continuing to sing while puking.

"Video obtained by TMZ from the concert shows Bieber...hunching over and puking...his dancers don't miss a beat and his vocals continue."

Suck it, Edgar Bergan!

Photo courtesy: TMZ

WORLD'S LARGEST FERRIS WHEEL

2012-09-28T02:54:00.000-04:00

Staten Island, that dump just across the Verrazano Bridge, will soon be home to the world's largest ferris wheel. It's going to be taller than the London Eye and the Singapore Flyer.

So why is world's largest ferris wheel coming to Staten Island? So that when you're at the top you can see people having fun in Manhattan.

Photo courtesy: (Office of the Mayor of New York/AP)

BUTT-CHUGGING

2012-09-27T01:04:00.000-04:00

Butt-Chugging!? Vodka soaked tampons!? Alcohol enemas?

What the hell is wrong with kids these days? In my day we got drunk the olde-fashioned way: sneaking into our parents' liquor cabinet and drinking the alcohol. We did not stick things up our other holes.

A student at the University of Tennessee nearly died from shoving too much boxed-wine - yes you read that correctly - boxed-wine up his poop chute. His blood alcohol content was well over .40, the point at which, you know, you can die.

Kids - stop sticking things up your south holes to get drunk. Drink your drinks like the rest of the world.

But I am a tad curious about how you play beer pong.

CHINESE PROTITS - UM - PROTESTS

2012-09-24T00:19:00.000-04:00

You got to hand it to the Chinese. They sure know how to protest. I'll protect those islands any day.

Photo courtesy CRI

TRADER JOE'S PEANUT BUTTER RECALL

2012-09-23T02:29:00.000-04:00

Looks like no more PB&J sandwiches for me.

Trader Joe's Valencia Creamy Salted Peanut Butter has been linked to salmonella infections that have sickened 29 people in 18 states. Four people have been hospitalized.

More here.

Green Day Billie Joe freaks out at I Heart Music

2012-09-23T01:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, guess what word is Billie Joe Armstrong's favorite? And you only get one f**king guess.

FUCK THIS SHIT O'CLOCK

2012-09-21T02:31:00.002-04:00

ANTHONY GRIFFITH SILENCES CROWD

2012-09-21T02:28:00.000-04:00

An incredibly moving moment by a very funny man.

CHASTITY BELT

2012-09-21T02:22:00.001-04:00

I'm wondering if I should steal this guy's idea and use it to attract Allyson Felix.

GRAMMAR LESSON

2012-07-10T21:48:00.000-04:00

FASHION POLICE

2012-07-09T23:32:00.000-04:00

SHAMELESS IPHONE APPEAL

2012-01-05T14:35:00.000-05:00

You may be saying right now, "Wow, Mark is incredibly solipsistic and greedy, asking people to buy him an iPhone."

But let me explain.

We have wedding registries, baby shower registries, gift registries, etc., but no "Ah Hell I Just Want That But Don't Want To Get Married Or Have A Baby To Ask For It" registries.

One of my 2012 resolutions is to promote "Personal Life" registries. These are just like wedding and baby shower registries, but without the weddings or the babies.

And with ChipIn you don't even have to buy the whole thing. Throw in a dollar (or more if you like) and - boom - you've made someone happy.

Then go and create your own Personal Life Registry.

STEVE JOBS RESIGNS AS CEO

2011-08-24T18:54:00.001-04:00

Steve Jobs resigned as CEO of Apple today. Tim Cook will replace him.

Can the behemoth company survive without the leadership of Jobs?

GARAGE SALE

2011-08-20T20:06:00.001-04:00

What do you get when you cross a pack-rat with a downsizing of your living space? A helluva lot of left over crap crammed in a storage unit. (Okay, maybe that's not the best punchline in the world but it's better than Carrot Top's A-material)

It's been a year since the crap entered the storage unit and it's time to shove it off onto other people. So we're preparing for a garage sale. I found an article on how to have a successful garage sale on Money Crashers. It covers everything from planning to throwing the sale. Oh sure, any idiot can throw a garage sale, but I always say "there's only one letter separating a 'garage' sale from a 'garbage' sale."

What are your secrets for a successful garage sale?

AMY WINEHOUSE'S LAST PUBLIC APPEARANCE

2011-07-24T00:16:00.000-04:00

Amy Winehouse's last public appearance at the iTunes Festival in London as her teenage goddaughter, Dionne Bromfield, sings Mama Said.

WEINERS AND HYPOCRISY

2011-06-09T00:33:00.002-04:00

Weinergate continues to rage on. People are screaming for Anthony Tweets Weiner to step down. But should he? Rachel Maddow does a great piece on the Republican hypocrisy, Anthony Weiner and the David Vitter Effect.

BREAST MASSEUR

2011-05-25T15:47:00.000-04:00

Okay, time for a career change. After reading how Xia Jun became the first man in China to be a certified Breast Masseur after only 3-months of training, I'm packing my bags and heading to China with a dream to be the second certified Breast Masseur.

And for those of you who think it's just about the chance to fondle breasts, look at the reasoning of Xia.

Xia has stated that having his female employees sent for the same training would not be a wise investment, citing fears of high employee turnover after acquiring new breast-massaging techniques. Instead, Xia wisely suggests that it'd be more cost efficient to have his male managers teach his female employees the necessary breast-massage techniques.

See? Teach the men how to do it and they can teach the women, because if you send women to be trained they'll leave their jobs to be professional Breast Massage Therapists, as opposed to sending the men to learn and then teach the women because then the women won't leave their jobs. Totally makes sense.

Photo courtesy Shanghaist or some creepy lurking guy.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

2011-05-17T14:25:00.000-04:00

The picture speaks for itself.

THE ROYAL WEDDING SCEPTER

2011-04-30T02:45:00.001-04:00

Here's one for the old neighborhood.

Kudos to Prince William and Kate Middleton for reviving a long forgotten English tradition:

The First Royal Public Fellatus.

Afterward, the thousands of onlookers cried, "God save the Queen!"

NO PANTS SUBWAY RIDE 2011

2011-01-18T02:29:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd say it but No Pants Subway Ride 2011 makes me miss NYC.

On Sunday, January 9th, 2011 over 5,000 people took off their pants on subways in 48 cities in 22 countries around the world. In New York, our 10th Annual No Pants Subway Ride had over 3,500 participants, spread out over six meeting points and ten subway lines.