KayVee's Blog

A date to remember : Part 2

2017-05-11T10:07:00.002-07:00

Yeah, so my first date. Total disaster.

Remember how once I told you about a crazy first date which went downhill from the start? Yeah this is kind of on the similar lines. Except this time, I was the idiot.

Kids, huddle up and grab your seats. I’m going to tell you a story. While this may be a fun read for the girls, the lads should get their pen and notepads ready. I am about to give you a life lesson boys, so pay close attention.

Welcome to the introductory class of ‘How to screw up a first date with the girl you love’

https://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-vector-vector-silhouette-of-couple-in-love-on-a-date-in-the-cafe-133302536.jpg

First off, the basics. Never ever gloat about your dating game. Do not proclaim that you are the greatest love guru there ever was and how the girl will be lucky to go on a candle light dinner with you. Because, trust me, the girl will say yes to go out with you, but she’ll be analyzing you every step of the way. One slip-up and you’ll be burned to the ground. Believe me, you do not want that.

A smart girl has that kind of sixth sense where she can easily sense whenever you are trying hard to impress her. Remember that one time at the gym when you lifted those really heavy dumbbells to catch the eye of that one cute girl? Yeah? Well then you must also remember the outcome of that activity. How you pulled your muscle and the girl didn’t even look at you twice. I’m telling you bro, it is of no use trying hard to impress the girl. You’ve got to be yourself.

So why on earth did I gloat to my girl that I was the greatest master date-planner that ever existed?

Simple. I was trying hard to impress her. But hey! Before you get all judgmental and tell me off for being a show-off and a phony, let me tell you something about this girl. Before dating her, I’d tried multiple things to try and impress her the normal way. I played guitar, drew cartoons on her desk for her, brought chocolates for her, opened the door and held the chair for her. All gentleman stuff. Was she impressed? You’d be surprised, but no.

Bhai unki side se friendzone tha, aur humari side to koi aur hi zone. Zillat to honi hi thi.

https://werenotsorry.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/friendzone.jpg

So as a desperate attempt, I did what every man does to grab the attention of any woman. I exaggerated. You know, I made up stuff like how I am the greatest date master and how she’ll be lucky to go out on a date with me.

Tekengi tu matthe bade rabb nu, ke mere jeha banda tainu mileya type of stuff.

Now consider it a challenge or genuine interest, she agreed to go out on a date with me. Now before you make any assumptions, I did have most of the date planned out. It was a good movie, followed by dinner then a long drive back home. Simple enough, right?

I knew from our talks that she liked animated movies, so I booked two tickets for ‘The Jungle Book’. Now I made a very general and very sexist assumption that every girl needs to change before going someplace nice. But hey, women do! So my assumption was valid.

So in the evening, after our office, I asked her whether she wanted to go home and freshen up?

She said, “No. Why? Do I need to?”

Now guys, whenever your girl asks you how she looks, don’t think, don’t blink. Just look her in the eyes and tell her she’s beautiful. No matter if she is in her sweatpants, wearing no make, is down with fever or what not. You tell her that she is beautiful. I’ll tell you why. See in a relationship, the girl is always a bit reluctant to get in at first. Whereas we men are the ones to do a head first dive into the relation. But not girls. They analyze each and everything. When they are sure, they’ll go ahead with you and keep on going forward with you. They need to be sure. But when a girl is sure, mark my words, she’ll stick with you no matter what. Heck, she’ll even be your housemaid and do all your chores for you. All she wants in return is herself to be appreciated. So you tell her she’s the best whenever you get the chance. Otherwise she’ll dump your ass. Rona mat baad me.

So coming back to the date, she asked me whether there is a need for her to change. I looked at her. My god she looked gorgeous. Her eyeliner carefully outlining her big expressive eyes, her small gentle lips covered in light red lipstick. The golden danglers in her eyes went well with her blue n gold outfit. So when I told her that she looks gorgeous, I was just stating plain truth.

She blushed and said then okay, let’s head to the movie theater. I held out the car door for her as she sat in the car and we went ahead to the movie theater.

Now, why I wanted her to go home is because after dropping her home, I wanted to pick up some roses to give to her. But now, that chance is gone as we were driving straight to the movie theater. It never occurred to me to stop on the way to grab a bunch quickly. I know, I am an idiot. Which brings us to our second lesson. Boys, always have flowers handy in such cases. Girls really appreciate these little things. Have a backup plan ready in case you can’t get your hands on a bouquet at the time. Or you know what? A bouquet is not always needed. Sometimes a single rose does the trick.

So here we drove up to the movie theater, flowerless. I showed her to our seats and tried to make small talk with her. Communication is key in a relationship. Then the movie began and we began watching mowgli frolicking around with balloo in his orange chaddi.

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Boys, lesson number 3. Whenever you go to watch a movie with your girl, focus on your girl and not the movie. I don’t care if Ethan Hunt is dangling of a Russian cargo plan and Benji won’t open the door.

Movie is not your priority here. The girl is. Movie dekh lio baad me torrent pe.

This was the mistake I did. I was so fixated to the movie that I failed to notice that she was feeling cold. Now this is partly a mistake on her side as well. You know we are going to watch a movie in an air-conditioned hall. To behen sleeveless kyu pehen ke aayi ho? Sorry, probably not good to go with the word behen here, but you get my drift.

But the girl can’t be blamed here. She spent a good amount of the day in getting ready to look good for you, whereas you just got up in the morning, trimmed your unshapely beard and put on a gallon of deodorant. She put more effort in getting ready for the date than you did buddy. It’s okay. Which brings us to life lesson number 4. Always carry a clean sweatshirt with you for such occasions. Had I had a sweatshirt with me that day I could’ve heroically gave her that and she’d be pleasantly impressed by my thoughtfulness.

Apni sweatshirt utaar ke de do, thodi thand bardaasht karlo, chivalry isi ka naam hai.

But due to my lack of planning, she sat there feeling cold and I sat there feeling helpless. Not a good feeling, by the way.

The movie got over at around 10:45PM. I had planned to take her to the food court at the mall. Now that I think about it was a terrible idea. Who takes a girl to a mall food court on a date?! Apparently idiots like me do that. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the food court had closed down. So now I had nowhere to take my date to for dinner. I could tell that she was feeling hungry.

While walking down the escalators, I quickly messaged my friend about some good restaurants nearby. My friend gave me some suggestions, not all heroes wear capes. Now I could have taken to a couple of good places that I knew or my friend suggested, but most of the places close at 11, so my options were vastly limited. See what lack of proper planning does.

The result? We were in the car, hungry and lost. I was driving around town, scanning any open restaurants where I could take my date. Finally we found a nice place, which was also about to close. But luckily they were ready to serve us.

I apologized for my mistake in not picking out a good restaurant, to which she smilingly accepted my apology. I could see that she was enjoying watching me make a fool out of myself. But hey, if she could just smile like that all the time, I have no problem playing the fool.

The waiter appeared with the menu card, which I showed her for taking her opinion on the dishes. Then she said those two words which every newly minted boyfriend, or in this case, boyfriend-to-be dreads.

“You decide.”

Now I am a big on food. I can eat particularly anything. But I am not so sure what to order when with a girl. Because I know dinner dates are less about the food and more about the partner.

She likes non-veg delicacies. So I decided to play it safe and ordered butter chicken with butter roti. Within no time the food was served. While we were eating the food, she was constantly smiling. When I asked her about it, this is what she said:

“Whenever out on a fancy date with a girl and you order chicken, please order a boneless one.”

Why? Why boneless? Apparently girls are supposed to be graceful. She wants you to see her as a graceful princess, at least on the first date. Its and entirely different story when on the 15-16^th date you both can chew with your mouth open and still love each other. But first date, boneless chicken. You can’t have grace while fighting with the bone trying to get the flesh off. Guys, life lesson. Make note.

Post dinner, I thought it’d be a good idea to go for a long drive before I drop her home. Now the city streets are mostly empty at night, so you can rev up the engine and drive above the speed limit if you want to. That is what we guys think of long drives. Just miles and miles of empty paved road and you go blazing fast on it.

Girls however have a different notion. When on a long drive with a beautiful girl, try not to show off by driving the car fast. Instead keep the speed around 40kmph, put on some good music on the stereo and enjoy. Another life lesson guys, no need to be Vin Diesel when on a romantic long drive with a girl.

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/fastandfurious/images/c/c8/Dominic_Toretto_-_Tokyo_Drift_%282%29.png/revision/latest?cb=20160123190453

Okay so quick revision. No roses, subjected her to the cold environment of the movie theatre by failing to provide a jacket, no prior dinner reservations, ordering the wrong type of cuisine, driving faster than Sebastian Vettel himself.

Five strokes down. It was time to do some damage control. On the way back home I saw an ice cream cart. I quickly pulled over near it and got out of the car and with the sly grin on my face, I said to her, “Wait here, I have a surprise for you.” I could tell she felt excited.

Only when I came back, I had bought two sticks of her favourite ice cream, which I thought would be a good idea. I cheerfully unwrapped her stick and handed it to her, which she received with a smile. I thought to myself, now something is going good, something’s looking positive.

While I unwrapped my stick with a sigh of relief, she smiled and said, “It’d have been better if you’d have brought one stick instead of two.” I looked at her in amazement, then it got to me what she meant. We could have easily shared the ice-cream! It’d have been a hell lot romantic! Oh god what an idiot I am! There she sat, laughing like a child on my naivety and here I was, ready to punch my own self into oblivion.

I took her near a park, where we both sat on the bonnet of my car. She was enjoying her ice-cream and I was wallowing on self-pity. She then said, “Are you ever going to hold my hand or shall I take the initiative her too?”

But hey, this is not my fault as you know, physical contact can be touchy subject. So you’ll just have to be really focused on the girl and the non-verbal signs she throws at you. You’ll have to take a leap of faith man.

Who said dating was easy?!

So after a while we headed back home. Here I was thinking that all is lost and gone. I finally got a chance with this girl and I blew it. No, it can’t be over. I asserted myself and as she was about to step out of the car, I said, “I want a do-over.”

“What?” she said.

“You know, a do-over. I’d like a second first-date.” I said. There was a high chance that she’d turn me down, after all I had not delivered the best first date.

She looked at me, smiled and said, “I’ll tell you what. Let me reimburse the dinner bill to you and you can have a do-over.”

This was bad, but I thought I have already screwed over the date, what am I going to do with that last shred of dignity? Let’s do it.

“All right. Fine” I said.

She smiled and said “Okay then. You’ve got a do-over. Better use it well!”

As she walked toward the main door of her home, she looked back at me and said, “I really did have a wonderful time tonight, you know? I really haven’t enjoyed this much on a date this much before. Can’t wait for our second first date.”

Okay, so the girl liked it after all. So not that big of a disaster. But I still need to take her out on a proper date now. No more hiccups and/or mistakes this time. I’ve got to make it up to my girl.

Come back next week here to see what happened on our second first-date.

A date to remember : Part 1

2017-04-01T11:06:00.001-07:00

“Everybody needs somebody sometime” – Dean Martin

When we think about it, some moments in life are better when shared with the right people.

Nukkad ki dukaan ka samosa tastes even better when shared with a friend. An evening tea means nothing if it is to be enjoyed alone. The long walk back home seems shorter with some company.

When you have someone to share anything with, life automatically gets better. You look forward to every new day and start enjoying the little things. That’s one of the many changes that occur when you get in a relationship.

Speaking of relationships, a considerable chunk of people out there do believe that they're better off single. According to them that it is better to spend their life in solitude rather than to share it with someone else. A stupid idea really if you ask me.

It feels nice to have someone with you with whom you can share almost everything ranging from the foods you like, the events of your day, the annoying co-worker you want to slap in the face, that one cute dress you saw at the mall today, a new dish that you want to try etc.

As for me, I've always considered myself bit of a cross between Ted Mosby and Ross Geller. Always willing to go the extra mile, be a little crazy in front of a looking audience just to make my girl smile. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic.

(img source http://valentineday.fsylb.com/how-i-met-your-mother-love-quotes-tumblr/ )

Now before I go any further, I suggest you get comfortable in whatever chair or bed you are on. Grab your coffee and pay attention. I am about to tell you the first time I saw my future wife.

I happen to be a software engineer by profession, which involves sitting in a cubicle, staring at the computer monitor for like 8 hours a day, and typing in some code and charging the client billions of dollars for this. Crazy, right?

Anyway so one fine day I was at my seat, trying to make it through the day, when she appeared. A new girl in my development center. Her face white as snow, her cheeks red giving her face a naturally cute look. She looked like one of those small Kinnaur apples.

As she was crossing the passageway to make her way to her seat, she passed by me, exchanging glances as I could not help but notice that this girl was beautiful. She was fairly tall, incredibly thin and a skin complexion that would make Yami Gautam jealous. Given her appearance I was not the only guy who was noticing her. She had managed to catch eyes of almost every guy on her way in. Well lucky for me, most of the guys in my field are either married, fat, bald or all of the above. So the list of potential suitors for this girl was quite low.

Furthermore, she happened to me my junior and yet was involved single handedly in a complex business project. Which would surely mean that this girl had a sharp brain too.

Beauty with brains, a rare combo in today’s world. And I say this for the boys as well. I have seen dudes who have no technical knowledge or know-how whatsoever in this IT industry, spending their hours in the gym to make ends meet as part time models.

But I digress. Coming back to the girl, I used to bring chocolates for her every day after lunch. Trying to get her attention, you know? The task would’ve been less fun if it was not for my project mates and friends, who used to talk me up to her for a price of one chocolate per compliment. Kind of a steep price, but it was worth it.

As luck would have it, this girl and I happened to be working together in the same team a couple of months after her entry in my life. It was then when she went ahead seeking friendship, and I went ahead with my attempts to woo her.

For two years, she saw me as a good friend while I had other plans. So it was but natural that she used to turn me down on the topic of dates.

Now speaking of dates, the first date, as they say, is kind of important in setting the tone of the relationship. It is the time when the girl stops looking at the guy in with her ‘Just good Friends’ goggles and starts analyzing him as a prospective partner. Now, guys, if you are serious about the relationship, you like the girl and you want there to be a solid substantial future of your relationship, you have to plan out your first date with the exact precision that you apply in your Counter-Strike or Call of Duty online matches. Believe me, it counts. I can say that from personal experience.

Now, as I highlighted above, I used to consider myself as a bit of an old fashioned romantic. You know, flowers on her desk, huge soft toys and not afraid to proclaim my love for my girl in public.

So I thought that it’ll be an easy task for me to plan a first date. In all my glory, I proclaimed to her that if she goes out on a date with me, it’ll be the best time of her life and how great of a master date-planner I am.

So finally, after 2 years or so of trying to get her to go out with me, she finally said yes. Actually she said, “Alright, one date. Show me what you’ve got Mister.”

It was more of a ‘Challenge accepted’ from her side, which I mistook as an agreement for the date. Stupid, right? Oh you have no clue.

(img source : http://www.hexjam.com/uk/sex-relationships/8-absolutely-disastrous-date-ideas )

Now I know a first date doesn’t sound that big of a deal to arrange. You pick a movie, a place to eat, you whip up a conversation and everything works along.

I have never been wrong in my entire life.

Except for the time when Brazil lost to Germany in the 2014 FIFA World cup, but that is one thing I can get over with.

Bear in mind that the first date will always stay there to remind you what kind of a doofus you were.

In my case, my first date will always be a reminder of what a mediocre date-planner and what a big idiot I was as my first date with my future wife was a disaster.

How big of a disaster, you ask? Well consider it this way, Brazil losing to Germany in the 2014 FIFA World cup kind of disaster.

Now hold on, I just said that how the first date sets the tone for the future of the relationship.

And now I am saying that badly I messed up on my first date?

Then how come am I going to marry this girl in the near future?!

How can a disastrous first date lead to the couple getting married?!!

What happened on the date?!! So much confusion!!

All valid questions. My first date was a disaster. But yes, she is my future wife.

For what exactly happened, you’ll have to wait for that.

I’ll be here next week and pour my heart out to you, for girls to laugh at and for boys to take notes.

Stay tuned for the next part of this series.

I confess, You confess: College confessions

2013-03-15T02:13:00.003-07:00

College is a tough time for most of the students. Spending four years in an entirely different atmosphere, making few friends and a lot of enemies. The life of a college student is basically a body of lies. We have almost any excuse and lie to get out of any situation.
For e.g.:
Q: Assignment not completed?
A: Got busy in exam preparation
Q: Not going to college today?
A: Not feeling well.
Q: Confronting someone you've been bad mouthing behind their back?
A: It wasn't me buddy! I never said that about you, it was him! did it!

Get my point?
So a time comes in life, near graduation perhaps, that you realize that no matter how bad this hell hole was and how you loathed every living soul here, you feel bad that you'll never see all these faces again in your life. Somewhere in your subconscious you feel a little guilty for lying to them, or keeping them in the dark for some reason, or for how much you despised them. So you want to let it all out, confess your sins and clean your conscience, so that it may help you feel better and hoping that Karma would be a little gentle on you.

This is the basic funda of confessions, alright?

Now everyone uses Facebook, right? So everyone must've noticed the growing trend of college-wise confession pages, allowing the students to confess anonymously. Facebook pages have been popping up, although none of them affiliated with any university, giving students a chance to anonymously type in any confession or grievance with their school. All the comments are posted through forms of Google docs to keep them anonymous. Most of the confessions are in a lighter vein, ranging from pranks and jokes, passionate expression of love to funny comments about teachers, or choosing the best professor. Some posts, though, are serious (declaration of sexuality, stereotyping by peers, exams frustration, stalking etc.) while others are general comments sharing good or bitter experiences of school, college or hostel life. "It's a good time-pass to read the posts on confessions pages, especially during holidays," said a class 8 student of Don Bosco Academy currently enjoying his session breaks.

Pretty noble deed, right? Wrong! Not everyone comes clean and there are few who take to cuss words or hurl abuses naming others, albeit being anonymous themselves. For Indian Institute of Technology-Madras students, what began as a fun medium to vent amidst a stressful exam season, has acquired a life of its own, attracting quite a bit of scrutiny even outside the institution. IIT Madras Confessions, a Facebook page is the in thing just now, with over 500 ‘confessions’ made by students on various experiences they have had on campus. From pranks played on professors and experiences of staying away from home to a range of comments, some of them unpleasant, on women students, the page is a melting pot of posts.

Anonymity can be a dangerous thing. Since no one, not even the page administrator knows who the confessor is, the person can literally post anything. Though so far, the administrators of such pages are doing a good job in filtering & moderating the posts, but that doesn't fare too well to.

Take my college for example, UCER confessions & complaints, which the admin has decided to shut down after the type of feedback the page is getting, and I applaud the admin for that. Good work buddy, I'm proud of you.

If you happen to see the posts on this UCER confessions page, you'll see only one topic, LOVE, and not the good kind. The creepy, stalker kind of love.

Here are a few examples:

"mamm i luved u the day i saw u when u were in da canteen which is now the seminar room ..mam i always admired u in ma dreams i always wanted to talk 2 u but couldn't gain that courage but ur eyes are jst killing mam i wish i could have proposed u .... mam i luv u ..." This one was for a senior by a junior.

"jab pahli baar dekha to kuch vaisi si lagi bt sahi si lagi, lagne me kami thi to tere chote hair, tu bandi achi hai, simple sweet cute bt kabi-2 style jada marti hai, aur jab se hair bade kya ho gaye aur hi mast lagti hai.. pata ni kya jaldi thi load (comitted) lene ki.. bt ab bi tere me ek kami hai, use tuje improve karni hai...." A guy's confession for his female batchmate.

And the creme-de-la-creepy, "love you all girls ME branch(3rd year).( special cute girl )" A junior's message to his female seniors.

Now you get the idea. I don't know about you guys, but these kind of confessions, are sick, and they make me sick! I mean come on! If you love that person to such an extent, why do you post it here, that too anonymously? Just go and tell it to the aforementioned person so that they realize how lucky they are!

These aren't called confessions, these are just hopeless aspirations of a forever alone.

You wanna see what a confession looks like? Alright, here's my confession: In the 6th semester of my college, we had this subject, Software engineering. And for that subject's practical exam, we had to prepare a small project report on a topic of our choice. Now I and my roomies were inhumanly lazy. We'd skip our morning classes even if we were 5 minutes late. So when the day of the practical exam came, we were unprepared. The project report still needed certain modifications and we had to take its printout. And to add a cherry to the cake, we woke up at 11 AM whereas the practical had already started at 10 AM. Hurriedly we made the changes and ran off to get its print out. On the way back, I bought a Band-Aid & a bandage. I applied the Band-Aid on my forehead, took a cotton swab and slightly dipped it in ink and wrapped it in the bandage on my left forearm. By the time we reached the lab it was almost 2 PM. The teacher was infuriated, we could tell by the look on her face. Then I told the panel that I had a minor accident in the morning and my roomies took me to the hospital, that's why we were running late. She bought that story, and to top it all off, she gave me 98% marks on the report. Now I feel guilty and I'm really sorry for lying to my teacher. I hope she reads this and forgives me.

Now it may not be an excellent confession, but it basically defines what a confession should be like. I was really pleased to see the confessions on the page of IIITD, where my cousin is a student. It was a perfect mix of serious, lovey-dovey and fun confessions. On the other hand, the confession page of my cousin sister's school, which happens to be an all-girls school, was plain daily soap material. Every post containing all possible combinations of the words 'bitch', 'slut', 'lesbian' and 'sweet'.

Now its all a phase, its all the same with the current scenario of our generation, we move on from one thing to another very quickly, like how we all moved on from Gangnam style to Harlem shake. Soon these confession pages will also come to an end, but until that time, they should fulfill their true purpose, i.e. taking the load off your conscience and providing good entertainment to everyone.

I want those kind of confessions that leave me awed, moving me emotionally as well as entertaining me. An unknown girl telling me that she wants to father my child, I don’t want that. Yes sir, it has happened to me, and I’m not proud.

Here’s to better confessions, less creepiness and total entertainment, signing off until next fortnight.

No No Honey Singh: Profanity in Music

2013-03-01T04:33:00.003-08:00

They say change is the only constant. Everything changes, from the colour of the sky to the colour of your hair. Remember when I told you about generation gap? How things, likings and tastes change over the years. Speaking of change of colour of hair, it occurs in many scenarios, like you’re bald when you’re born, then you grow out your natural hair, in my case, the colour’s black. Then as the years advance and you step into your teens, your hair colour changes as you apply streaks & highlights, and I’m talking about boys too! It isn’t just girl stuff apparently. Now afterwards when you grow up, you grow mature, you sport a more sophisticated hairdo, with your natural colour back into play. In the later years when old age shows its effects on eyesight and body, your head looks like a field of silver grass. Then very slowly, it all reverts to the stare when you were born, i.e. baldness.

Now during this all phenomena, along with your hair colour, a lot of things change in your life. Your eating preferences, your clothing preferences, your physical appearance and what not! We’ll just be discussing your music preferences here. Music, everybody loves it, right? Everyone has their favourite song, their favourite singer or band, a special tune they like to hum when they are alone. You know why? Because music is what speaks not to you, but it speaks to your soul. Some wise man once said that music is independent of language. It is not bound to any specific dialect, accent or tone of speech. That’s the beauty of music.

Music tastes too, change with age. For example, when I was little I listened only to Bollywood songs, they were my universe. Then in my teen years I was introduced to Rock and Hip hop. I was 16 when I first listened to ‘In the End’, the iconic song of Linkin Park. Nowadays I listen to mainly classical rock, some blues and Jazz, and I’m pretty sure in my 40s I’d switch to Sufi music, much like my dad who can listen to Wadali brothers anytime of the day.

Music is the voice of the generation; it is a highly powerful tool of communication with the target audience. But if used in a wrong way, consequences will be pretty much bad. For e.g., take today’s Indian Pop music scene for example, the music & so called raps of Yo Yo Honey Singh have pretty much a misogynistic opinion in their lyrics. We all know how the now so famous Yo Yo Honey Singh started off. That was pretty depressing and highly offensive material. Such music has given rise to other artists who glorify the Punjabi & Jatt community as a gun wielding, masochistic and highly violent community, which is quite the contrary. But who is to blame? Putting a cap on the artists would be attacking their artistic ability and imagination, however profane it may be.

When eminent lyricist Prasoon Joshi was asked about the profanity in Bollywood songs, here’s what he said, “I feel you need to understand that language is a contribution of a lot of people and it is easy to abuse. My problem is that most of the abuses are about female anatomy. They tell you about the psyche of a certain kind of dominance. I don't have a problem with abuses, but with sanctioning a certain hierarchy in the system. Secondly, we have to protect our children. I have no problem with adult content. But it should be a conscious choice. It should not catch you unawares.”

It’s not just Bollywood music that’s profane, but English music too. Now I’m not saying that every song that contains even a hint of profanity is bad, but the profanity, or the suggestive elements should not overpower the music & its nature. For example, two of Nirvana’s greatest hits, ‘Rape Me’ & ‘Where did you sleep last night’ do contain some suggestive elements, but they don’t overpower the song, and hence makes it pleasant to listen. On the other hand, Katy Perry in "E.T." insisted her alien lover "Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison. ...Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction."

According to an NPR music critic Ann Powers, "Pop has hardly just developed this pretty potty mouth. But never have so many artists spilled profanity so blissfully or embraced salaciousness with such ease. There's a sort of carefree, cheerful quality about such naughtiness now." Can anyone imagine a parent being grateful for having to explain to a grade-school child what Katy Perry meant by "melt your Popsicle"? Sleazy pop songs might be a conversation starter, but as a warning about how not to speak or behave. There's no happy talk that can avoid this fact: The music industry slides lower each year into the gutter, interested only in making a quick buck through our lowest common denominators.

Frequency of 'F***' appearing in titles of songs

Initially uncensored music that many listen to is getting to the younger generation .We all know that children are our future .What happens a majority of the time when a juvenile hears a new word ,they use the new word right? Eventually most children will be using profanity .The real question is, how will our society be in ten years from now?

So what do we need to do? Censor music? No. That isn’t the solution. In fact, what we need to do is stand up to our self and renovate our music library. If we decide to listen to proper music which handles the appropriate amount of profanity in a tasteful way, then music labels will only make such songs. Demand creates supply, right? Plus, the drop in such “Yo Yo” songs will nip this MTV wanna be rapper generation in the bud. You wanna be a rapper? Look at Eminem, look at Mike Shinoda, they have talent, they don’t depend on profanity to make their videos a hit unlike Yo Yo Honey Singh.

You are what you listen, as it unknowingly drives your conscious.

Dating dilemmas: An unforgettable 1st date

2013-02-15T00:45:00.004-08:00

Everybody done with cupid? Good. Coz Valentines week is over, Valentine’s Day has past and things are a-changing. February 15^th, that is today, is Thanks-for-the-lovely-week-let’s-now-get-back-from-loving-unconditionally-to-just-liking-the-appropriate-amount day. Oh yeah, it’s a thing.

I sound like such a forever-alone cynic who’s never ever been on a real date, right? Well then, you’re wrong. I’m not a part of some anti-love brigade. I just think love doesn’t need a reason to be special. Real love, if it is, isn’t just limited to the 24 hours of 14^th February every year. In fact, like a beautiful rose, its fragrance spreads everywhere, seeps into each day of our lives till eternity. That’s what love is. But then, why so much hype about the V day? Simple, consumerism & commercialization, V day is the perfect excuse for letting yourself go in the name of love. People can take a leap of faith and confess their feelings to the special someone. Love is a war, but in this week, from 7^th to 14^th February, the war becomes somewhat little less difficult.

A guy meets a gal, they connect, and they go on a first date. If it works out, then they go on more dates and then, after a considerable amount of time (which is how it’s supposed to be, listen up y’all MTV wanna be rapper generation) they take it to the next step. That’s how great relationships are born. If we take a test statistic, the main determinant of the successfulness of a relationship is pretty much the first date. Yes, the first dates, they are the best thing possibly a new relation has to offer. Everyone remembers their first date, no matter how well or bad it went. The first dates of every relationship are stored in the persistent storage area of one’s brain, True story.

Now, since the moment your eyes scanned the word “first date” and relayed it to your brain, you may be having some memories pop up in your head, memories specific to the first dates you’ve been to. Some of you may be reliving the best time of your relationships in your head, whereas some of you may have been haunted by the mere thought of it. Am I right, or am I right?

Speaking of bad, terrible, haunting first date memories let me tell you about my own personal experience. It’s a given fact that I’ve been in relationships before, which means I’ve been on more than one first dates before. Not all dates have been awesome or good, but this one date, which happened just about two months back, was a real shocker.

It all began last year. After I graduated from college I moved to Chandigarh with my parents. As I had a lot of free time on my hands so I decided to catch up with my old friends from school & various camps I had attended back in college. This girl, Anushka (name changed, for obvious reasons) was with me in my ethical hacking workshop, and as fate would have it, was in Chandigarh after a month or so too. So we thought we’d meet up then. Then with the daily texting & calls, we came close and she seemed like a nice girl. Then after sometime, I casually asked her out on a date. She was glad about it and said she was thinking the same.

Now let me paint a word picture about how Anushka looks. She’s like a cross between Kiera Knightley & Deepika Padukone, honestly. She had a fair height, of about 5 feet, but she always wore 3 inch heels.

She has a pretty fair complexion, a cute smile with dimpled cheeks. And the funny thing is she smiles every 30 seconds, without fail. She has pretty big eyes compared to her petite frame, and she applies the traditional kaajal. I won’t lie to you; she’s goddamn beautiful and has a sweet voice. Now, if she’s so beautiful, then how could’ve it been such a bad date? I’ll tell you how. Read on.

We agreed to meet at the peddler’s café in sector 35, Chandigarh. I got there right on time, just to learn that she was running late. Now it’s considered to be bad manners if you order something before your company arrives, so I just sat there. Thankfully the place had a live band, and they happened to be playing one of my favorite songs of all time, ‘Can’t Buy me Love’ by the Beatles. I was humming along with the band when she walked in. She was wearing a pink sweater with pretty long sleeves. I couldn’t help but think that it belonged to her elder sister. Then there were these pretty tight black jeans with some sort of high top boots. I’m pretty sure her legs were getting pretty asphyxiated in those jeans. But hey it’s her choice!

For the sake of clarity and better understanding I’ll write the dialogues in a script like manner.

Anushka: Hey! Sorry I’m late *she erupts into a dimpled smile, pretty hard to get mad at that*
Me: No problem at all, come sit *I got up and held her seat*
Anushka: Ooh, a gentleman! Nice!
Me: I aim to please. *Then we exchanged a few smiles* So, what would you like?
Anushka: Well just a coffee black, no sugar. I am on a diet, wanna shed some extra kilos.
(I let out a small laugh, but then I found out that she was serious)
Me: You serious? I mean why you need dieting, you look fit, breathtakingly gorgeous indeed.
(Of course she looked fit! I mean she’s just 45 kilos, she’ll be nothing but a stick figure if she goes on a diet)
Anushka: No please! I’m so fat! *Then she looked down in disdain*
Me: Okay, but black coffee will be real bitter without sugar.
Anushka: It’s okay, I’m used to it.
Me: Fair then, coffee black without sugar it is. (I ordered a black, sugarless coffee for her and a cappuccino for myself)

Me: So, how’s life treating you?
Anushka: Well you know it’s pretty hard actually. There’s no job scene anywhere. I think I’ll do an MBA. What about you? I heard that you got placed. Infocon, right?
Me: Yes I did. It’s Infosys.
Anushka: Infosys? That’s like in Noida, right?
Me: I don’t think so.
Anushka: No it is. It’s in sector 62. That’s where other small software companies are. What’s your package?
Me: The usual, 3.25.
Anushka: That’s too much! Did they make you a CEO or what?! *She was shocked*
Me: Ha-ha, no. Systems engineer.
Anushka: Then how could they give such a package yaar? These Noida companies give only 15 grand per month at max!
Me: Are we talking about the same Infosys?
Anushka: I think so! Don’t you think it’s strange for a new company to be giving out such a huge package? *You could tell from her eyes that she was in utter disbelief*
Me: Honey Infosys isn’t new. It’s been around for like quite a few decades now.
Anushka: It has? Oh, then what is it doing in Noida? Shouldn’t it move to some bigger office like in Bangalore?
Me: *My first reaction was honestly “Are you f-ing kidding me?” But then, I composed myself* Gee I don’t know. Maybe the thought hasn’t crossed their mind.

What kind of a girl who is an engineering graduate doesn’t know about the Infosys?! Its only one of the biggest Indian MNCs of the whole world! Thankfully the coffee came and this job topic came to an end. I thought of having a more personal conversation with her, you know, get to know her better.

Me: So, what are your hobbies?
Anushka: Well I’m a pretty simple girl. Just give me my iPhone with data connection & sms pack and I’ll keep myself occupied.
Me: Ya, that’s all so simple *Sarcasm evident in my tone*
Anushka: *Smiling* I know right! By the way I also like dancing and movies.
Me: Ya I’ve seen your videos. You are a pretty amazing dancer.
Anushka: OMG! You’ve seen my videos? How embarrassing! They are so not good at all!
Me: Really? Then why post them on YouTube? *Sarcasm again, still she either couldn’t sense it or I was doing it wrong*
Anushka: I don’t know involuntary thought.
Me: (That’s a good one, “Involuntary thought”) Okay. So, Hollywood movies or Bollywood?
Anushka: Bollywood mostly. Hollywood movies don’t make any sense to me.
Me: That’s funny, I have the opposite case.
Anushka: Are you kidding? Bollywood movies are so romantic! I just love Shahrukh Khan! On the other hand Hollywood movies are just senseless. For example, look at those Harry Potter movies.
(I literally was about to spit out my coffee)
Me: I’m sorry, what? Harry potter?
Anushka: Ya. It just isn’t believable. Too much to take in, makes me dizzy.
Me: Well some would say that it was a legendary movie series. But what the hell, two sides to every argument, right?
Anushka: Right. You know what would’ve worked? Werewolves. They should’ve introduced werewolves in it.
Me: Well in all fairness there were werewolves in it. Have you read the third book?
Anushka: Ya I have, the prisoner of Afghanistan. It sucks.
Me: I’m sorry I didn’t get you? Prisoner of what? (Oh god my ears will bleed!)
Anushka: Afghanistan, why? Haven’t you read it?
Me: If you are talking about a documentary on Bin Laden’s life, then no, I haven’t. In harry potter it was the prisoner of Azkaban.
Anushka: *Laughs hysterically* Azkaban? What’s that?
Me: It’s sort of a wizard prison.
Anushka: See?! Its things like this that make Harry potter so damn stupid. Twilight on the other hand is so much more awesome.
Me: Twilight? Awesome? Have they mixed something in your coffee?
Anushka: Ha-ha. Very funny. Speaking of which, can you give me a sip of your coffee?
Me: Uh, yeah sure. Go ahead. *She took a sip from my coffee*
Anushka: Umm, yeah. This is so delicious. Mine sucks! Can I drink yours instead?
Me: But mine has sugar.
Anushka: No worries, I can make my peace with that.
Me: (Now where’s her dieting?) Okay, no problem. *I took her coffee and added sugar into it. There’s no way in hell I’m drinking a sugarless black coffee*
Anushka: So, yeah, twilight. I mean that’s so romantic! Edward is so cute and Jacob is so hot!
Me: I beg to differ here. That romance is necrophilia.
Anushka: That’s what makes it so special!
Me: Really? *Sarcasm*
Anushka: Ya. I wanna be a vampire too!
Me: You do know that vampires don’t just sparkle in the sun? They explode & die.
Anushka: Shut up.
Me: Don’t believe me? Go see Van Helsing.
Anushka: I have. Hugh Jackman is so hot. Trust me; Twilight is much better than Harry potter.

First she took my coffee, and now this. Even Al-Qaeda isn’t that torturous. And it’s just half an hour into this date.
The band then started playing ‘Where did you sleep last night?’ By Nirvana, this seemed to lift my spirits a bit.

Anushka: You seem to be enjoying the song.
Me: Ya actually. It’s one of my favorites.
Anushka: That I guessed from the look in your eyes.
Me: *Thank god for some normalcy in her* You know you have a real pretty smile.
Anushka: *Smiling* Thank you!
Me: So, who’s your favorite artist? And if you say Justin Bieber or One Direction, I won’t pay the bill.
Anushka: *Laughing at my lame joke* Oh then I’m sorry, but your wallet isn’t spared. I don’t like them.
Me: Oh thank god!
Anushka: My favorite band is the Glee.
Me: Glee? That Darren Criss one?
Anushka: Exactly! *Smiling again*
(Thank god she has such a pretty face and a heartwarming smile. If she were a guy I’d have hit her with a chair till now)
Me: Cool.
Anushka: This song is sung by Nirvana, right?
Me: Correct! 10 points to the gorgeous lady in the pink sweater.
Anushka: Ah you make me blush *she smiles again* What are the other songs sung by this Nirvana guy?
Me: Actually Nirvana isn’t a guy, it’s a band actually. And they don’t make songs anymore.
Anushka: Why is that?
Me: Because their front man, Kurt Cobain shot himself many years ago. He’s dead. He was a legend.
Anushka: *Laughing* Wow that’s a good one.
Me: I’m serious.
Anushka: LOL! Kurt Cobain isn’t dead. I see him every time on glee!
Me: What? *I really was shocked* Kurt Cobain? On Glee?
Anushka: He’s the one who plays the gay dude. The one with Darren!
Me: Oh man! You can’t be serious!
Anushka: Why? He’s the one!
Me: *Few moments of silence* Yes you are right. I couldn’t recognize him, my bad. Sorry.
Anushka: Told you. By the way this cappuccino is delicious.
Me: Glad you like it.
Anushka: I heard you write blogs.
Me: I dabble, just random stuff.
Anushka: I must check it out sometimes (I really hope she doesn’t see this!)
Me: Sure do *Smiles exchanged*
Anushka: You must read a lot of books then?
Me: I do, it’s a hobby.
Anushka: That’s a great hobby. I too do that.
Me: Really? That’s cool!
Anushka: Which one are you reading nowadays?
Me: Winner stands alone by Paulo Coelho. What About you?
Anushka: Paulo Coelho? sounds good. I haven’t read his works. Nowadays I’m really enjoying the fifty shades of grey by E.L James.
Me: Fifty shades? Of grey?
Anushka: Yes! I’m reading it for the third time. I love it!
Me: That’s just porn.
Anushka: Yes but look at the love story!
Me: What love story? There’s no love story! It’s just spanking!
Anushka: Yes but it is romantic!

I looked at her with utter disbelief and she stood her ground. I was just hoping for some miracle to get me out of this date. I prayed to god in my head to please, please help me and he replied, in the form of a phone call. It was from my dad, he wants the car back for some work.

Me: I’m sorry but I’ve to go now.
Anushka: Ya sure, no problem. Let’s go.
Me: Where shall I drop you?
Anushka: We are staying here only; it’s just 5 minutes’ walk.
Me: Oh thank god!
Anushka: What?
Me: Nothing. Pleasure to meet you.
Anushka: Same here. Let’s do this again.
Me: *Are you f-king kidding me?* Sure! I’ll call you! Bye now!

And thus, ended by far, the worst first date I’ve ever been on. I hope you see what I’m trying to show you here.

The expressionlessness of Freedom

2013-01-31T22:19:00.001-08:00

Back in the day I used to watch a cartoon series on Star World, known as the Simpsons. The show is a satire on the current problems as seen by a typical middle class family of Springfield. I’m sure most of you have heard of it, if not then do see it, it’s pretty hilarious. There was once an episode (Season 2, episode 9) in the Simpsons, in which we see the kids enjoying a cartoon series (a parody on Tom & Jerry), called Itchy & Scratchy.

After watching a violent Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, Maggie hits Homer over the head with a mallet. Marge realizes she decided to do such a thing because of watching the show. She sends a letter to its creators which is just mocked and has no effect. Marge protests in front of the studio where the show is produced and soon gains nationwide support. Marge appears on TV and asks parents to send letters to the creators. As ratings plummet, the producers ask Marge for ideas on the new look 'Itchy & Scratchy'. Her ideas turn the show into a boring tame television show, and the ratings hit rock bottom. Subsequently, Michelangelo's nude "David" is exhibited at a museum and other crusaders ask Marge to rally their cause. But Marge finds nothing objectionable about the statue. Caught in a dilemma, she realizes that she was

wrong for protesting against a form of free speech, and the show is resumed to what it used to be.

Now, here’s the question, can art or any other form of expression be condemned?

We live in a time where a drawing a caricature, posting a Facebook update or even liking one can land you in jail. We live in a time where a heinous rapist might get acquitted and go Scot free but an intellectual filmmaker who makes thought provoking films suffers ban on his films as it may hurt religious sentiments. Whatever happened to the freedom of speech & expression? Wasn’t that our fundamental right? I haven’t studied law but I do know that fundamental rights of a citizen are above law.

The recent example, Actor/Director Kamal Hassan’s “Vishwaroopam” faced lot of controversies. Legal controversies regarding the film's portrayal of Islamism aroused several Muslim extremist groups, who protested the film's release in Tamil Nadu, resulting in an official ban being imposed on the film in the state for 15 days by the Madras High Court. The ban resulted in similar decisions being made in Sri Lanka and Malaysia while release was delayed in the states of Andhra Pradesh, Kerala and Karnataka. Despite the fragmented release, Vishwaroopam garnered generally favorable reviews from critics, most of whom had downplayed claims of the film being anti-Muslim. The ban on the film in Tamil Nadu was lifted by Madras High Court following a special screening, but was later upheld on January 30 and further release of the film was blocked by the government of Tamil Nadu over law-and-order concerns. The consecutive banning of the film was strongly criticized by the Indian film fraternity, including the Central Board of Film Certification.

Now, come to think of it, the film hurt religious sentiments. I daresay, why we can’t put aside our religious differences and take a look at what the director wants us to see? We say that India is a secular country, but I feel that somehow, the true meaning of Secularism got lost in translation over the ages. We Indians like to add a certain type of masala to our lives, we know that this masala will fire up our asses, but we do it anyway. Sadly we think with our hearts and not our brains. Hence the despicable state of our country. I read this somewhere and I do agree with the line “Isn’t it high time we come over things like Religious Stereotypes and bother about more practical worth issues, corruption education, poverty etc.?”

We’ve already lost a great artist M.F. Husain due to such acts in the past, now we are on the verge of losing the talented Kamal Hassan. Ask yourself, is it fair? Is it called for?

In order to advance in a positive direction, we must get over our differences and understand the true concept of religion, which is the unity of all mankind. God is one, stop differentiating & start integrating.

Freedom of speech & expression can be misused, like the recent stint by MIM leader Owaisi, but there are ways to deal with it. But these sorts of activities that are happening nowadays, arresting innocent teenage girls over plain updates and banning movies out of fear have to stop.

There’s a phrase, “Stop Judging & Start living”. We all might wanna start practicing it now.

And by the way, if ever my blog/updates/tweets ever hurt anyone’s sentiments, be it emotional, mental or religious, do tell me before protesting in front of my house, ok? Thank you.

Mobile phones, a dire neccesity

2013-01-18T04:56:00.001-08:00

"Roti, Kapda aur Makaan" (Food, clothing & shelter) are the basic necessities of life, or so I've been told. But keeping in mind the events that happened with me in the past week, i'd like to add another item to the said list, and that's a cellular phone. That's right, a cellular phone, the one's that in your hand right now. Surprised? Confused? Perplexed? A mobile phone, a necessity? I don't blame you.

See what happened is, my dad lost his phone about 10 days ago, and the busy man that he is, he needed a phone with him all the times, you know, taking calls, making calls, all important business stuff. So I gave him my phone. I thought what the heck man, I'm not some teenage girl who has to have a phone on her 24x7 (No offence girls, I still love y'all) But then, after just a day or so, I began to feel something different.

I am depended on my cellphone for varied purposes, which are:
1. Music Playback: Whenever I travel, either by air, road, rail or by foot, I always do it my tunes in the background. A bit of 'Midnight flyer' running in the back makes the journey more interesting. Any travel without music is just boring.
2. Photography: I'm sort of a shutterbug, whenever I'm on the move and I see something celluloid worthy, I just whip out my Nokia and capture the scene with my 2 mpx camera. Good for preserving random instantaneous memories.
3. GPS services: Lot of times, I just take Robert frost too seriously and take the road not taken by many, sometimes I get lost, sometimes I take double the time to reach the destination. But the GPS in my phone helps me a lot to find my way.
4. Internet services: My one way access to all the world's news, gossips, satires, social bullshit & what not.
5. Phone services: Last and not the least, the real purpose of the cellular phone, which has been lost since the hipsters came back and started posting the pics of their food on instagram, is calling. I call my folks and other people with it.

Now what happened this past week was that I had to go to Ludhiana to bring my grandma to Chandigarh with us. Ludhiana is at most a 3 hour drive from Chandigarh. My dad had a conference there so he dropped me off midway in the city, closest to my destination. But the funny part was, I had visited Ludhiana after a long span of 12 years or so. So the whole city was kinda new to me. I couldn't recognise anything and my memory served me no good.
I forgot to ask my dad the residence number of my uncle where my grandma was at the moment. And I began searching for the house.
Thus began the longest 10 km walk of my life. After half an hour, I gave up on the house search. So I figured that I'd better locate a PCO so as to call my uncle and inform him about my location. I began asking at all the major shops and showrooms, but couldn't find a PCO or a payphone anywhere. All this time I was missing my music and my GPS. If I had my phone with me I would have saved at least 2 hours of my time, as well as my Uncle's time, who was also out there the whole time, searching for me in another part of the colony.

After walking and searching for like 2 hours and 10 kilometers, I located a payphone, called up my uncle and met up with him. That day I realized, that mobile phone is a must. Especially for someone who spends even 40% of their life outdoors.

That is why I say, that along with food, clothing & shelter, mobile phone is a dire necessity, especially for me.

A New Year...A New Beginning

2013-01-04T02:49:00.001-08:00

So 2013 is here, and as brought to my attention by my cousin, it’s time to shift the DVDs of the famous Hollywood movie ‘2012’ from Action/Thriller section to Comedy section.

First things first, a very happy new year to all of you and your family, may this year be full of prosperity and happiness. May you get an even faster broadband so that you can check out my blog everyday (and leave comments too perhaps?)

So, New Year’s eve, or as they say it in my circles, ‘Day to spend lavishly to get a bad hangover, traffic violations, relapsed memory and lots of awkward moments’ eve. Sad but true, I’ll tell you why.

There was once a time when New Year celebrations where very humble and festive. They were much simpler times, when only your uncle with contacts in the Indian Army’ CSD canteen could arrange liquor for the party, and that too only the real classy scotch, which was mostly relished by the elder males of the family and the adolescent guys had to savor themselves on the soft drinks. The gatherings were small & warm, with people only inviting their close friends and relatives thus making the guests feel special and the event more joyous.

Now welcome to the 21^st century, where people, when served with food have one important rule, “Instagram first, eat later!” The social media generation, where one is defined by the number of followers he or she has on Twitter, has redefined this occasion. Now people don’t believe in small, close and homely parties with limited drinking rules. They spend, and that too a lot, to get into clubs with incessantly loud music, highly overpriced food (which they won’t eat properly anyway, dance is their food) and liquor, lots and lots of liquor.

Now I am not a usual guy, usual being iPhone wielding, always online, yelling ‘Yo Man! Wassup?’ at any person even remotely acquainted to me. I had such a phase, but I outgrew it very quickly, true story. I prefer the company of my friends, a bucket of KFC and one really good extra cheesy pizza and a frothy chilled beer and I’m set. The idea of nightclubs is fine, I wouldn’t mind going into one, but given their high cost of entrance, it’s a waste. Here’s how:
1. Unlimited drinks: Good thing, but I’ve gotta drive, how much will I drink anyway? Plus the city roads at this time of the year are filled with policemen equipped with breath analyzers, you know the rest.

2. Loneliness: I have no close friends here in Chandigarh, so going into a nightclub alone, with no one to chat, have fun with, where’s the sense in that?

3. Typical Punjabi Rap music: The likes of Yo Yo Honey Singh or whatever his name is, that isn’t hip hop or rap or decent music. Eminem is rap, that’s it.

Okay, that was a bit too cynical, the nightclubs aren’t that bad, but you know, it’s the ambiance nowadays. People getting drunk, partying like there’s no tomorrow, I can’t be the only one who finds that a bit too enthusiastic. Plus it’s these drunken over-zealous party folks who cause much trouble to the common public during and after the party.

Anyways, the point is, the way of celebration has changed, but the motive of celebrating the onset of a new year, with the hope that this new year will be better, and hopefully less stupid, than the previous year. It’s the time to get together, make new friends, strengthen existing relationships, hope for a better future, thank the ongoing year for its experiences and celebrate, because a happy beginning is a job half done.

Plus, I have a little surprise for the readers too. I don’t believe in and nor do I do resolutions, but for you all folks, I’ll make an exception this time. My resolution is that from now on, I’ll post regularly starting from today; I’ll post a new blog every 14 days! I promise!
And as a gift to you guys, I’ll start an audio podcast as well, so that you can listen to my voice (I’ve been told that I have a nice voice) anytime you want too!

So, see you on the 18^th January. Till then, happy New Year, have fun, enjoy responsibly. Adios!

Let's Put an End to this World

2012-12-20T05:00:00.001-08:00

I have very ordinary mornings like everybody else. After I wake up and muster enough strength to break out of the chains of laziness and get out of the bed, I proceed to carry on with my usual routine tasks. I start my day by greeting my folks a very good morning, which in these times is highly ironic, then after drinking a glass of water I go to take a leak (again, ironic). Then the dog walking, which requires at least 20 minutes and a lot of getting pulled and yanked around by my mischievous and highly curious dog. Then after all that, I get down eating my breakfast, normally a half fried egg sandwich with black coffee. A compulsory non edible accompaniment to my breakfast is the newspaper. It is like a daily habit, reading the headlines, global news, editorial section, movie reviews, ongoing events around me and even the comics. I need the paper each morning.

As you all know, I’ve been at my home since June2012; I’ve been reading newspapers more deeply since then. And it depresses me to say that, these are the words which have made the most headlines in these past 7 months:
Murder, Robbery, Mob war, Communal Riots, Rape, Homicide, Domestic Violence, Gun violence, Mass murder.

Now I’m no Shakespeare but these all words don’t seem to be positive words. In fact, they all are highly negative, frightening and sad words. And their repeated occurrence shows that we are headed nowhere good. The word HUMANITY is fading from the minds of the people.

Let me cite the two recent cases as examples, and I’m sure you all are aware of them both:

1. The Connecticut Shootout: A youth gunned down innocent children and adults in a school in Newtown Connecticut. After killing almost everyone in sight, the culprit shot himself. In its Aftermath, The President of the United States of America spoke forcefully on the country’s failings in protecting its children and demanded changes in response the mass shootings of the last few months. “We can’t tolerate this anymore. These tragedies must end. And to end them, we must change” he said. All the dead children were 6 to 7 years old. What could possibly be the motive of a person that he decided to gun down such small innocent children who hadn’t even completed a decade here on this earth?!
To all the Indians reading this, and specifically those who are thinking “Thank god humare India me ye pagalpan nahi hota.” Well have I got news for you. Read on and have your false pride knocked out.

2. The South Delhi Gang rape: This spine chilling incident which took place in New Delhi, the capital of my country, India. A young woman was gang raped inside a bus by six persons. Then she was stripped down and dumped roadside. For an hour she was there lying on the road, naked and hurt. Yet no one dare came forward even to cover her up, let alone help her. Now she is in a hospital, where she’s trying to get better. But will she ever? The physical wounds might heal, but the mental scars will remain. Plus, every time the girl will try to turn over a new leaf and start over, she’ll be reminded of that she is a victim by the citizens of this country. Because we sadly live in a society where the rapist walks free and it’s the victim that suffers. And the cherry on the cake, Delhi police officials say that women bring it upon themselves by dressing provocatively. Such a load of crap! Let’s say for argument sake that some women do dress provocatively, but does that give these men an open invitation to molest her? It’s all in the head of these sick people, it’s not the dress. Derek O Brien has rightly said that it is not a women’s issue, it’s a men’s issue. Men have started to behave like animals, even worse!

Today when I logged onto Facebook, I saw petitions all around, some for the children in US, and some for the justice of the rape victim. People are replacing their profile pictures with black dots to show their support, updating statuses giving their views on this matter. Anguish all around. But I don’t feel acting on social media will be of a large benefit. We are kidding ourselves if we think that our government will actually work on our e-petitions. But we still do that, because it gives us hope.

I am no one to say that the accused should get capital punishment or be castrated publicly, because that would suggest that I’m totally honest on my part. And I know that I’m not. I have two younger sisters, and god knows that I care about them a lot. I do care about every single person I have close affiliations with, be it friends or family. I know that if any harm occurs to them, I’ll stand up for them. We all will. But why do we react so indifferently when someone we don’t know is in trouble? Is that what the elders taught us? Is that what religion teaches us? We all are related in some way or the other, so it’s our duty to stand by each other’s side.

If we start looking out for each other and in turn protect the women in our society, mark my words, no one will dare ogle them, let alone eve teasing. We need to work on that.

People say that tomorrow is the much hyped Apocalypse, 21-12-2012. The world might end, they say. If it does, then there’s nothing we can do. But if it doesn’t, which I’m sure it won’t, and then let’s do something together, shall we? Let’s destroy this world of ours. Let’s destroy this world which is full of hatred, skepticism, dirty politics, negativity, cowardice and fear. Let’s finish it all! And let’s make a new world, one which is full of positivity and happiness, where we all can co-exist and our women & children can be fearless and free.

So I say let this world end, let’s end it together, destroy it! And make a new world, a good, decent and a better world governed by humanity.

This post is part of the contest Who is to be blamed? on WriteUpCafe.com

Band Baajat Baarat: A Bachelor's perspective

2012-12-04T00:28:00.001-08:00

There's a thing in our country, which is quite popular nowadays. Its the wedding. Since beginning to the modern society, it has been like this: Daughter completes graduation, find a suitable groom for her! Son gets his first paycheck, start looking for a bride! Don't agree with me? Fine, here's an exercise. Every Sunday you get a matrimonial section along with your regular copy of the newspaper. Just go through it, you'll see. For eg, a typical ad goes like this:-

For those of you who think that I'm getting too cynical about marriages and are looking for a reason to post comments about me being a misogamist, let me tell you, that ain't the way this is. I think marriages are great. Its a great way to bond two families forever in a bond of love & prosperity. I've been in three marriages in the past year and it was a real nice experience. Marriages are a great place to meet new people, bond with old relatives, reminisce old memories & create new ones. They are a joyous event.

But technically, marriage, is just the part where the bride & the groom take their vows & then all the pheres take place. Its all fun, plus if you happen to be in my family, you'll have a blast during this ceremony. We believe in saving our best jokes for this moment, when the bride & groom are really vulnerable *wicked evil grin*

Its the part leading upto it, all the dancing, the eating, the drinking, and the dancing again that's got me a bit perplexed with my emotions. Confused? I'll explain how.

First of all, the Bands. I mean, c'mon! Its a modern world out there. We've got tons of musical instruments, can't we modernize the Baarat? For starters, the generator is an essential part, we can't lose it. But we can lose those trumpet thingies. Have you ever noticed an Indian Baarat clearly?
There are four kinds of people:
1. The ones who constantly keep dancing to the tunes of the band.
2. The ones who lead the baarat and occasionally break into a dance by grabbing the closest known person in proximity on the beats of the dhol.
3. The smiling baaratis, who just walk behind the dancers and secretly hope that no one will grab and pull them into the dancing circle.
4. The innocent onlookers, who are not the part of the baarat, but are affected by it, either by the traffic jam or the mere craving to dance.

I belong to the 3rd category, though no matter how hard I try I always get pulled into the dancing circles. I don't hate dancing, I just want the baarat to move quickly forward. Plus the last time I was in the baarat, a firecracker came and hit me in the head, as a punishment for not dancing, i guess.

All this dancing, though is good, as the people are all happy and they wanna express their joy, is a necessary delay. I mean, there's the groom, upon a mare, and all these people are dancing in front of him. It takes forever for them to move from Point A to Point B. Its a real point of concern for the groom, as he is the glue holding together this snooze fest, but what if his legs get numb from a lack of movement? That's a serious concern! If I were the groom in such a situation, what am I to do? What can be done when I'm to be greeted at the gate of the reception hall by my to-be in-laws? Here I am in front of them, walking funny, and then suddenly, I lose balance & fall down. What a great impression in front of my in-laws!

Getting back to the modernization of the baarat, i'm assuming the people will still dance no matter what. SO instead of those trumpet thingies, employ the beautiful guitar riffs from a Les Paul. It'll work well, plus it'll be a good thing to watch as well!

The next thing that worries me, is the pre-wedding cocktail parties. I basically love them, its where I can drink freely in front of my relatives (kidding). The only thing I dislike is that no matter how hard you try, there's always one relative who'll end up gettting drunk too much (especially in us punjabis, no party is complete without rum & chicken) and will tend to be over-enthusiastic, thus spoiling the event for most of the relatives.

But, for a bachelor, like me, a young man who's just about to turn 22, recently graduated & selected in a top MNC, weddings are just a place where each & everyone of your elder relatives, preferably the ones who've seen you after a pretty long time like 7 to 8 years (who had last seen you as a sweet little kid & had the same mental image even though a long time has passed), will ask you the same question, "Kitna bada hogya!" & I'm forced to think that is it my fault that I hit puberty? Then, after a while, another statement will pop up "You're up next young man!" I know that I'm next but that's still atleast 4 to 5 years away. Why does everyone have to target the next most eligible bachelor in the weddings & start interrogating him about the girls in his life?!

"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"I saw a pic of yours on facebook with that cute girl. Is she a punjabi?"
"Do you prefer love marriage or arrange marriage?"
These are some of the questions I've faced in the past year. Is this what I got dressed for & came to the wedding? This is why I wish there would be alcohol in weddings as well, coz after a few drinks, these questions don't even bother me! They ask me "Do you have a girlfriend?" I say "I have shortlisted 5 for marriage purposes, mom & dad will do the screening test and let you know."

I don't know how to end this post, it seems like i'm ranting about how I hate attending marriages. But I do not hate them. I just find some stuff weird, that's it. So don't fling this post around & shove it in my face when my wedding invitation comes at your doorstep, okay? Thanx.

All love stories ain't pretty

2012-10-31T11:35:00.002-07:00

Well here is a little something my brain cooked up. Its a bit emotional and sentimental and a wee bit sad. Its about a breakup (we've all been there haven't we?) So, do read!

The room was mostly dark. The tiny night lamp tried to cover most of the room with its pale yellow light, but it just covered the nightstand, where it was plugged in. Most of the people like to sleep in the dark. Scientific studies have shown that a dark room is a better place to sleep than even a dim-lit room for biological reasons. But she preferred a little light in her room, not because she was afraid of the dark, but she liked it anyway. It was convenient, according to her. Her room was fairly neat. Even in such poor light one could walk around without the fear of trampling on something on the floor, be it her old blouse or her college bag. Adjoining her room was the balcony, whose door she kept open. As her room was on the fourth floor of her building the security wasn’t an issue. Sometimes an occasional pigeon would swoop in and would startle her, but mostly it was a serene view.

Suddenly, there was a bright blue light in the room, accompanied by a strange sound. The noise woke her up. It came from her cell phone, which she had kept on her nightstand. Half asleep and angry, as who is calling her this time of the night? She sat up on the bed, picked up the phone and viewed the screen to see the caller’s name, her eyes still battling the intensity of the light. The name was familiar, it was his name. Now she was completely awake. Why was he calling her that too at this time of the night? It’s not that they hadn’t talked on the phone this late in the night. They used to text each other; stay on call with each other till the wee hours of the night. But back then it was all different, back then they were together.

She sprang out of the bed and headed towards the balcony. The view at this time from her balcony was inexplicable. There was no color anywhere; everything was in gray scale as it was bathed in the moonlight. The road beneath looked like a black sea, shimmering with the reds and yellows of the lights. In spite of l this serenity surrounding her, her mind was racing with confusing thoughts. She took in a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hello”, she said in a voice that was as sweet as honey, yet the sensation of fear was evident.
“Hi, sorry to wake you up” came the voice from the other end. It was him.
She wanted to ask him straightaway why had he called, but her tongue didn’t help her.
He continued “I suppose you are wondering why I called you at such an odd time?”
“Yes. Its 2 o clock. Why did you call me?”

“To tell you something”

She was getting irritated “What is so important that it couldn’t wait till the morning?”

“Ah, look at you, getting so awry again over nothing! How typical!”

Something was wrong. His voice sounded different. She asked “are you drunk?!”

“Yes, a lot. Why do you care?”

She had no answer, or she didn’t want to answer. She just let out a sigh and leaned on her balcony door. “Listen Karan, what’s the use of this? What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to tell you some stuff. Something that makes you sees you’re worth to me.”

“You don’t want me. I’m worth nothing to you Karan; you proved it again & again. What’s there left to say?!”

“Please Anushka, shut up and let me talk. It’s really important otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered to call you. I’ve spent the past month trying to get you out of my system. I need to tell you this all shit just hear me out okay, just be silent for the next 20 minutes. Just breathe into the mic so that I know that you are there. Can you do that for me please? Don’t make me beg now”

She could sense a pain in his voice, she wanted to argue with him, she had been pining for him too, but she decided to remain quite. She breathed into the mic of the phone to signal him in confirmation.

He then continued, “Ever since I met you, I thought you were different. Different in a major way than the other type of girls I’ve been with in the past that’ve broken my heart. That’s why I fell in love with you. I know it would be hard, not being able to see you every day, relying only on the phone to be in contact with you. But I was up for it. I know we both have a major difference in our religions and societies. I have to have an egg every day for breakfast and you are a strict vegetarian. I load up my paranthas with ghee & malaai and you act like you are lactose intolerant. Food habits apart, our family cultures are opposite. Yet I was ready to take a stand for you when it counted. But it meant nothing to you. You have two sides Anushka; I don’t know which side to trust. One side of yours applauds me and the other one criticizes me so deeply for the same action, it leaves deep scars on my mind. First you act all cool of my habits, but then after we get together, you start criticizing me and doubting me! I never asked you even a single thing, with whom you go to college, who liked your pic, whose pic did you like. But you, you always doubted me. When I met you, you came across as this open minded girl, who was never troubled by these small things. Why the sudden change?!”

She couldn’t say anything. She was infuriated, but she kept quiet. She let another breath and he continued “It was like everything I said or did was okay with you first, but later on, it was meant to hurt you. Have you ever thought that why would I hurt you?! I love you more than my life, I still do. I came to meet you, all alone. I lied to my parents and came to an unknown city, but for you, it was not enough. According to you, every boyfriend does this, I didn’t do anything special. I don’t care about money, you know that, nor do I care about sleep. I spent my exam preparatory leave nights just talking to you. It was cold as fuck outside but I remained outside in just one sweater to talk to you. And you know how it is in my home. I’m always handed all the work. But that doesn’t matter to you as well. I can understand that you want to talk to me, and I want to talk to you too! But I’m so stressed out right now that the talk wouldn’t be proper and you’d get pissed again! What do I do?! ”

She was crying, he could tell from the sobbing noise. He hated it when she cried. But somehow, today, this wasn’t making a difference in his harshness. He was damaged beyond limit in this relationship, accepted his faults where he wasn’t wrong, all in the selfless name to save the relationship. But she was reluctant to accept this fact. According to her she only fired shots at him when he provoked her. This is what enraged him, and he continued “I know who were troubled with your past. But let me tell you one thing sweetheart, I’m way different than that bastard ex of yours, and you know that. You’ve ruined what we had by comparing it to your past. I have a past too. But I don’t cling to it like you do. I never compared you with her. You are much better than any girl I’ve ever been with. But you ruined it. You would get upset on me spending time with other girls at my college, but that I don’t blame you for. I even take the blame for not remembering the calendar details of the events in our relationship. Even when we broke up earlier, that was my fault. But clinging on to that and bringing it up over and over again, you’ve proven every argument stated by me that time. You’ve changed, and yet you accuse me of changing. You don’t talk to me and update nonsense about me, without even telling me the matter, which is your fault. You accuse me of prioritizing money over you, which is your fault! You keep comparing me to your past, which is your fault!”

This was much more than she could handle. She broke down; she hung her face and covered it with her hand in order to control herself. But it was too late. The emotional flow had begun. Many a times when people are cornered, having no way out of a situation, they tend to act vulnerable, so as to protect themselves. But this was different. She was not trying to play the sympathy card. He could tell. He had made her cry once before. He knew that she was hurt, that too a lot. He wanted to go on, be strong and continue talking, that’s what he had planned all along. Not to be wavered by any emotion, tonight’s talk was just about getting closure. But listening her cry so bitterly was too much than he can take. His resentment for her wrong doings was much less than the love he had for her.

“Baby” He said, “Anushka?”

She replied back while crying “Done? Have you said everything that you wanted to? Got enough? Nice way to put me in the bad light. Here you are, not talking to me for like a month, and then calling me up one night just to put all the blame on my head?! Are you the same man I fell in love with? How drunk are you that you can’t make sense of what you are talking?! Have I wronged you so much?!”

He couldn’t reply. It was not about answering the question, but the outflow of the emotions that had to be created in order to get this thing out of their system. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence. She could hear the distant traffic from his side of the phone. She knew he was drunk, but she didn’t know that he was out on the streets.

“Why aren’t you inside?” she asked.

“Would I’ve drank at home? Dad would’ve kicked me out anyway” he replied in a goofy tone which made her laugh. The laugh which entered his ear and soothed his heart, which had been bruised by the misunderstandings between them. He laughed along with her too. For the next minute they just laughed softly with one another. But then, she heard what appeared to be a shrill noise, like the shrieking of an animal form his side. She was startled. “Karan? What was that noise? Karan? Hello?!”

But he didn’t answer. He too had broken down. He said something to her, but she couldn’t make out what as it was all drowned in the emotional teary voice. Then he hung up the phone. She was taken aback. They had been in lots of fights before, but she had never seen him cry. This man never cries. Then how did he break down today? Was he right about all the stuff he said? Is all that true? Has she scarred him for life? Was he stating the truth or just dumping the blame of the breakup on her? All these thoughts emerged as a whirlwind in her mind and she started feeling a little dizzy. She tried calling him back but the phone was switched off. She threw the phone on the bed and sat at the foot of the bed, staring into space, thinking of what had just happened.

Meanwhile, he was sitting on the bonnet of his car, which was parked on an empty road. Everything was lost in the darkness except for the road, which had its own personal streetlights for illumination. He was still sobbing. His friend walks towards him and sees that he has trashed his cell phone down on the ground. What was an expensive smartphone few minutes ago is now reduced to useless electronic junk. He came up to him and tried to console him “Was that really necessary? I know how much you love her, then why pick up a fight unnecessarily? Why shoot allegations at her at two in the night?”

He looked at his friend and smiled, which puzzled his friend. He then said “It was necessary.”

His friend was even more puzzled “How exactly?”

“I know she is a stupid little girl. She loves me a lot. This past month wasn’t easy on her as well. I know surely for a fact she still cries herself to sleep every night. She tries to get over me but can’t. You know she assumed too much about me. In her eyes, I was perfect. I was everything she wanted. But life is a bitch. Things never work out your way. Now we can never get back together. Things are so complicated between us right now. You know me, I’m stronger than her, I’ll move on somehow. But she, she needed a push. This incident will hopefully make her think that I’m a bad guy. I tried to put all the blame of all the misunderstandings on her. And hopefully she’ll realize that I’m not worth crying for. So she can get over me, thinking I was just a bad memory.”

Prologue

2012-08-28T03:21:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking of writing a story, a suspense kinda..here's the prologue. Read it and let me know...if it's good them i'mma continue.
Well the, here goes..

Everyone has two sides, ranging from inanimate objects such as a one rupee coin, a branch of study, such as science, or as in this particular case, hacking. Even we humans, at least if not by our nature then by our nomenclature from the past 6.5 billion years, we can call ourselves human. We too have two sides. One good, which tries to make us analyze each and every step we make, so as to keep us in the light of reason and in mercy of the almighty, so that we can keep our soul intact for the final verdict after our life. And the other, just the opposite of the good, like darkness to the light, we also have a dark side. Dark, however, here is a relative term, like darkness to light. Darkness is defined as the void of light, and it even exists where there isn’t enough light. Similarly our dark side, it’s what tempts us to succumb to our internal desires, which we know morally are not good for us or something we know. The dark side calls us from within, alluring the person to enter the dark world, in which the person loses all sense of who he is and what is he destined to do. He enjoys life and does activities at the cost of his soul, slowly casting him into eternal damnation.

My head is still dizzy, partly because of these thoughts, which were spinning in my head like a hurricane, causing devastation all around, and partly because of the fall I took. I might’ve hit my head on something. But I’m thankful my head’s not cracked or bleeding. A severe concussion and bleeding are highly probable if you are thrown into a ditch from a ten feet high mound by a couple of Russian henchmen. I can move my limbs, but I think I might’ve dislocated by left shoulder. I can’t get up; the muddy ditch is too much slippery. I’m like a lizard in a porcelain wash basin, how hard I try I can’t get to the top of the basin, I just keep slipping down. I’m perspiring, a lot. It’s a hot summer’s night and I’m lying down in a ditch, mostly covered in mud. I always wanted to visit Russia, but not like this. Getting clobbered by the local mafia wasn’t in my bucket list. I know I’m bleeding. The goons really did give me their best shots. If I’m not wrong, I have a black eye, a cut lower lip, a bleeding nose, a scratch mark on my right cheek mostly, but I’m a little doubtful about my tongue, I may have bit it at some point, or was it my gums? But if it’s my tongue, I have a really good reason to be worried about my speech and my diction. That would be the worst injury of all, even bad than a cracked rib or a fracture. Call me narcissist but I love my voice, it has what got me to this position in life.

“I’m a little tea pot, short and stout” I began muttering, like a microphone test I used to do back in college before the commencement of functions and events. “This is my handle, and this is my spout”. Thank god, my tongue is intact. I still have the power of speech, which separates us humans from rest of the animals in the animal kingdom. Though we are the most barbaric, savage and destructive kind of animal ever made, we just rule the world with our powerful brain and our speech capabilities. If dinosaurs still walked the earth, they would’ve made an excellent pet instead of these Labradors and Dalmatians. And who knows? T-rex meat would have been and excellent delicacy.

Funny little poem, but back in kindergarten this used to be my favorite nursery rhyme. Life was so easy back then, problem and worry free childhood with a comfortable life. Then I set out to embrace the dark side. Like Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, like Yagami Light got the Death note and became Kira. Their life changed drastically. So did mine, after I started living on both the good and bad sides of my life.

But what could go wrong and to what extent? How did I end up in the hands of the Russian mob? What provoked them to such an extent to treat me like their punching bag? I’m just a computer engineer, how did I get involved in this mess? Of course I knew all the answers to these several questions. But reiterating them in my head again and again gives me a clear perspective of the multiple solutions that might have been there, which I didn’t notice that time. The labyrinth of solutions is like a fuzzy set, with every line of solution having its own probability, denoted the chances of me being alive at the end of it all. Interviewing me in such times gives me an insight analysis as a third person, and provides answers which may be of great significance at that point. And given my position now, I don’t have any choice but to evaluate my steps or die in this ditch, as the rescue team won’t be here in time, or they would be caught in the action elsewhere. The search party might not show up till this situation settles which may take a week. Even if I don’t die tonight, I might as well in die in the coming week due to lack of medical attention leading to multiple arterial damage and blood loss, which may lead up to hemorrhage and ultimately death. All I’ve got to do now is to think my way out of this.

Of course, it all would have been simple if it wasn’t for these two voices in my head. One screams me to back out while I can while the other says to have fun while I can, and to crank it up a notch. And it’s the doings of these two blokes that I ended up here in this ditch, nearly half dead.

I know this all sounds extremely hypothetical and childish, believing that actually two so called angels, sitting on our shoulders, prompting us, to do or not to do. The calling of the inner conscious and redemption of the soul, it all sounds a bit too farfetched. I don’t blame you; honestly that’s what I thought a few months back. But then, something changed, something happened.

Open to suggestions as always fellas, do leave in your comments :)

Technology...a fickle mistress

2012-07-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

Everyone nowadays is surrounded by technology, be it in any form. It has formed an integral role in our modern lives. Love it or hate it, you just can’t deny it that you are in someway, knowingly or unknowingly stuck in this web of technology. Be it the hardware part or the software, we all have one such gadget in either realm that we just can’t live without. It can be a smartphone for some, tablet for others, gaming console for gamers, and even for those not so techie housewives, we have the modest food processors, electric chimneys and the helpful water purifier as well.

So you see my point, everyone is inclined to something technical, and its not their fault. Its all normal, as it is the information age. As you know about me, I’m a software engineer, so it’s a given fact that I spend most of the time with my laptop just doing things that I do. From checking mails to updating my status and doing some productive work in programming, I rely a lot on my laptop. But the last week wasn’t so well for me and my laptop.

I had a Windows 7 operating system in my machine, and Indian as we all are, it was a pirated version

So after a while of decent usage, Microsoft realized my tricks and started displaying warning messages on my logon screen “Windows is Not Genuine”.

It didn’t bother me at first but then it started to put bottlenecks on my laptop’s performance, which is a big no-no for me. So I decided to clean format my laptop, install Ubuntu and Windows XP (the best OS of windows if you ask me) and go back to the power computing days I enjoyed in my prime. As I was preparing my laptop for the operation, my younger brother told me that his desktop has become a home to many deadly viruses and they are now rendering the system unusable. So I thought “Yaar ek system format ho hi raha hai, chalo dusra bhi kardete hain!” (I’m already formatting one system, so let’s make it two).

For the techies, here’s the details of my hard disks
My laptop has a 320 GB Fujitsu Hard disk, I planned to format it and use it as an external drive for backup and intermediate data between the laptop & the desktop.
My desktop has a 320 GB Hitachi Hard disk, to be formatted and loaded with Win7 for my brother
My external hard disk was a 250 GB WD..which I planned on loading with Ubuntu & Win XP and use as my laptop’s hdd.

Firstly, I got down to back up all the data from my laptop, preparing the external drive for use. With all being set, I planned to install the OS using a bootable pen drive, as the DVD drive on my laptop is busted for quite a while and frankly I don’t feel like shelling out 3000 bucks for a replacement, I’m fine with it.
So I install Ubuntu to get rid of the Windows 7 boot records, as Microsoft’s new trick out of the bag doesn’t allow Windows XP to be installed on top of Windows 7 and/or Vista, which if you ask me is a cheap way of forcing their products onto us. So I installed Linux, which went well, then I proceeded to install Windows XP, which also went very well, but for some reason, my laptop didn’t boot the Windows XP well, it just kept going on restart mode. It took me 36 hours to try every hook and crook to make my laptop deal with the new Operating systems, even swapped the hard disks and scrapped my idea of using the smaller disk as my laptop’s internal one, but as it is in relationships, if its meant to be, it’ll be, otherwise, get lost.
So I decided to give my laptop a little break, and started operating on my desktop for a while. It was a breeze, windows install perfectly, ran perfectly. I even got a valid anti virus and scanned all the hard drives just to find 35 different strains of viruses, just happily lying their and corrupting my data. They had to be killed, and I killed them. Now, having the desktop set, I returned to my doom of despair, my laptop.
Now it seemed that windows XP was not an option, I asked my dad to get me a Windows 7 disc from his office, as I cam to know from my brother that he has some swanky gizmos in his office, so I thought to milk the opportunity. And as always, dad didn’t let me down. Not only he brought me a Windows 7 disc, he got an original licensed version! Yay Dad!

Then there was nothing to wait for! I installed the OS, installed my files and got my workstation set up.
But something was fishy. How can everything all of a sudden be so good? There had to be something, I’m obviously missing something.
I got the answer to this today. My external hard drive, the 250 GB WD, filled with my libraries of awesome movies & music, just crashed. It was just sitting their, spinning its platters, saving and writing data, and poof! It just crashed.
Now here I am, sitting in front of my almost brand new laptop, with a working desktop by my side and a clumsy dead hard drive, which will be later processed by a hardware technician to decide its fat, to be used as a hard disk or as a paper weight.

The past week was really intense, I mean, getting petty shocks from the system motherboard, all the wires, cables, chips, screws, CDs..it was all too hysterical. It all made clear to me that technology, though a worthy companion and a trustworthy fellow, can also be a very fiendish personality. It can surprise you in the multitudinous range of emotions that you can have, and thus, I may daresay, that it is a fickle mistress.

The distance between two leap years - V

2012-07-14T06:58:00.004-07:00

Well, to be honest. Life wasn't the same after my third year. During my 6th semester exams, i got the news that my dad got a new job so we all had to be shifted to Chandigarh. So the first half of my holidays were practically pretty busy in packing and shifting the stuff from Bhopal to our new home in Chandigarh.

Someone has rightly said that Chandigarh is City Beautiful, as it is one of the most clean, sophisticated and liveliest city i've seen. But sadly, i had my summer training to attend, so most of the city was left unexplored. Only way known to me was from Panchkula to C-DAC (Centre of Development and Advanced Computing), Mohali. Wanna hear my routine? I used to wake up at 5 in the morning, reach CDAC Mohali by 7:30 AM, return back home till 1 PM, then all the daily chores and hokum, followed by me hitting the hay at midnight. It was a six week course, but for me, it was just for 4 weeks. How? Listen up.

The last two weeks were of project discussion, but i got a mail from my college that the major IT company Infosys is coming for recruitment to our college the next month, so i had to skip the project week and stay at my uncle's house to attend the daily preparation classes for the recruitment drive.
I still can't forget that hectic month, but it all paid off as I got selected in Infosys. Yay! :)

Then came the awesome period of final year, no classes! Atlast!
But our college management had something else in mind. An order was passed, which stated that the gate of the hostel block will remain locked every working day during the working hours, and during that period, the electrical power supply to the hostels will also be cut off. Great, just great!
But still, we guys never went to college, ya we did go to the library sometime, but that too once in a blue moon.

Nettech had visited our college in my 2nd year, and I stood out exceptionally in it. This time, they came again, and the instructor, Mr. Swapan Purkait, contacted me, said he wanted me to work with him. I was elated! Finally, something fun in this year, something worth remembering! And believe me when i tell you, it was a great experience.

Then came november, a very special month for me, for reasons I'll not divulge here, as its quite unrelated. Moving on.

Sessionals came, exams came, and we did what we had to. But fourth year is a time of great tension. If any of you 3rd year and/or 4rth year students are reading this, I want you to know that you must start your campus placement preparation early. If you havent yet, do it now! Because final year is heaven for those who are placed, and heaven for those who aren't. And you all know that after four years of toil and trouble in this hell hole called engineering, you need a job at the end, to make your term here in this college worth it all.

Then came our final semester. Now I was really desperate to go home, and end this engineering course as quickly as possible. But Einstein was right, time is relative to the observer. Time flies fast when you're having fun, like the past 3 and a 1/2 years, which passed by in a blur, leaving me many memories..some good, and some, well..not much worth remembering. Many events, such as when I came to this college, first time I got ragged, first time I made friends here,the times I got busted for truancy (means bunking classes :P), the time I went into a relationship here, the time I broke up, the time i fell in love again, this time correctly though! And many more events..Aah, good old days!
Now, time just came to a stand still. These 4 months of the last semester were the slowest

But something happened, something EUPHORIC!! Euphoria, the great Indian Rock Band, came to our college on our founder's day. Man! I was there, right there where the stage ends, just a few feet away from my childhood idol, Palash Sen, whose songs got me through some of my tough times. Then afterwards, i got a picture with the band, though Dr. Palash was not there that time, but still, m very happy.

During Nettech classes, a couple of junior girls, whom, if you are reading this, i want you girls to know, that you three are the smartest girls i've seen in this college. Keep it up :)
They approached me with a project for IBM TGMC competition. Which, due to our teams laziness, we could not complete, sorry girls.

But the project was to be our final year submission. So, as always, Mr, Gulati had to rough up his roomies, Mr. Gupta and Mr. Singh, sorry boys but you know its true. Then in one night, we (read I :P) prepared the report and gave it for binding. But the funniest moment came when we had to sit for our external viva.
Our examiner was our HOD, so we knew it wouldn't be a problem ;)
He just aksed, "beta, kitne pages ki hai?", and it was done!

Oh ya, the Farewell, how can I forget that! Pretty nice, reminded me of the farewell we gave to our seniors.
The boys hostel was haunted by the question for many days "What to wear?!"
I went with my classic Neal Caffrey Style Suit, and got a lot of compliments on that one, MR. CS being one of them, thanks a lot my dear juniors, and if you are reading this, plz email me the pic in which i get the sash, I don't have it.

I also visited Gujarat in my final year, for a technical fest in Baroda. By God! Best 3 days of my life. Met my childhood friend Shashank, and my bestfriend Aakashkunvarba, the highlight of my trip :)

So, came to end my 4 year Engineering course. With lots of fun, emotions, tragedies, laughter, sleepless nights, sleepy days, bunks, grades, flirting, facebooking, these four years, were seriously the best of my life till now. A heartfelt thanks to everyone who was a part of my life in these four years. You all have, knowingly or unknowingly, made me what I am today.

Arrivederci! C'est la vie! See you Around amigos :)

The distance between two leap years-IV

2012-04-04T14:34:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the third year of your engineering life, heralded each breeze as it hit my face, greeting me on my return to the college hostel. It was a blustery day of mid-August. I came and settled in my room and hat a quick bath. Oh yes, I was a pre-final year student now.

First day of classes, met a new female faculty, she had come from Bhopal. And she had a unique way of teaching. She forced us to make proper notes of her subject, that too in a separate notebook! Imagine 3^rd year engineering students, who seldomly study, were asked to prepare notes, that too compulsorily. And mind you, that subject was considered to be a real tough nut to crack, Design and Analysis of Algorithms. “Welcome to hell” I said to myself.

But it was just the beginning. Soon our classes were tormented by strange type of subjects and teachers teaching us things in an entirely obsolete fashion, simple read-out-loud in the class. The result of which we started to bunk classes on a daily basis. And I along with my two room-mates, Sushant & Pushpender, was branded as the most notorious kind of students possible by some teachers.

But who cares? We enjoyed our life to the fullest, regular bunks, frolicking in the canteen, leg pulling of our seniors and hostel inmates. We even clinched 1st prize in Counter Strike LAN gaming in the college, go Bandits!

I was, in my 3^rd year, allotted the task of preparing the Anchors for the freshers party of the 2010 batch. So, in three days, I and a faculty lead, Ms. Shivani Ma’am, who has a lot of trust in me, finalized the anchors. On the day of te event, everything was going on smoothly, until the universe decided to pull a prank on me.

One of the anchor went home without any notice, so I had to cover up the open slot on the last minute. There I was on the stage, with a cordless mike in my hand, and no prepared speech. But one thing lead to another, and I turned out to be a big hit. God has his way with me, he plays around but still has my back.

Half of my third year passes like so. Exams were a breeze and the result was outstanding. I had topped my hostel with a shocking 77.1%, my all-time high. I was elated. Thus in my state of high, I picked up a long lost hobby of basketball. Every moment of my free time I began spending with the ball and hoop. It was fun. In fact It was also to impress someone, but that’s an entirely different story.

In my 6^th semester, I went to IIT-K for the first time, in their annual tech-fest Techkriti, and my advice to every engineering student out there, you must go there at least once in four years. Trust me you’ll love it.

After returning from Kanpur, I developed a serious throat infection. For a week I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep or talk properly. So I went to doctor. Within 5 minutes I got 4 injections and 3 days dose of medicines with me having to shell out a 1000 bucks for it. But the medication worked and I was fit once again. So, back to normal life.

Then came my 6^th semester examinations, along with a news that my family had got shifted to Chandigarh, dad switched jobs. So I was pretty excited and tensed, as I had to still finalise my summer training for the session!

But, as we’ll see in the next post, it all turned out to be well.

That ends my 3rd year adventures, see you in my next post with my final year stories. C'est lavie!

The distance between two leap years-III

2012-03-23T05:07:00.000-07:00

After the semester exams of 1^st year, we all were so relaxed! A big tension of studying subjects like Engineering Mechanics, Manufacturing Processes and Chemistry was now over!! I had fun like a crazy guy in my summer break, visiting almost each and every place in Bhopal.
I was excited for a lot of things, firstly, I was about to get a laptop. Secondly, I was about to be a college senior.

These are some things in which you have got to experience in order to understand what I’m saying.

Then came August, and here I was, a second year student. Till now almost everyone in my branch knew me, some for good reasons, and some for bad. Soon I began to indulge in the college events, namely the fresher party, coz god knows, here we don’t have any decent events. The first time I went up on stage as a lead anchor, and BAM! The crowd was berserk! Everyone loved me. I can’t explain how it feels when you are up there on the stage, leaving your reputation in the hands of your audience and it whole heartedly supports you…it was a magical moment. Then my life shifted to a higher gear and I became a little more energetic than I was before.
I began skipping classes, became a little loose, made new friends and met very special people whose presence still inspires me each day. Life was getting good. I was in love with it.

Result in the second year was surely an all-time low, but it surely shaped the engineer in me. I began to think logically, see the other sides of things and could be practical and realistic for much longer periods! That was an achievement for me! :P

Second year also made me realize the true shades of people around me. I received many shocks and tremors from my very own friends but still somehow managed to stay firm and calm. Looks can be deceptive, this statement was made clear to me by my 2^nd year in college.

Nonetheless, this year was awesome. We arranged an intercollege techfest in our college with a limited budget of 3000 bucks, made extremely good ties with my seniors, with whom I hadn’t even spoken to in my 1^st year due to the fear of ragging.

To sum it up, 2^nd year was the dawn of a new era for me. Life was never the same after it.

The distance between two leap years-II

2012-03-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

Ohk..the first year of my college. It wasn’t a very sugary sweet start. Well to be honest I was never an excellent student in the senior classes. I was not that good at maths and chemistry. But nevertheless I was a hardworker. Somehow I managed a decent 82% in my class XII boards. But XII standard isn’t that simple. It is accompanied by the multiple attacks of competitive exams. And frankly, I didn’t study at all for them. Dunno why, but I didn’t feel like. Well, it was a matter of 3 weeks and I was done with my competitive exams. Result? I didn’t get any good college.
Ya, that’s why kids, you should consider your competitive exams, infact each and every exam of life very seriously, because it’s a ripple effect. A small dead causes a big wave of consequences. Like when you throw a stone in the water, it culminates into a big wave.

Fortunately my dad is a resourceful man, and he got me a seat in this UNITED COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING & RESEARCH, GR. NOIDA..supposedly because if the kid stays in the NCR region, he’ll be closer to his relatives in New Delhi. So here I was, just after celebrating the birth of my nephew Aarvin, right into the hostel room 106-A.

First day was highly scary, due to the ragging period and all. But fortunately, I was never ragged. Because at that time there was the impending danger of suspension form the college for any student caught in ragging activities. So days passed, and I began to feel at home in the campus.

I made a lot of friends here, some very dear to me like Pushpender, Sushant, Hemant, Nishant etc..We called ourselves the “Bad Company”..the irony was that neither of us were technically “bad”..we all were back then just mellow kids.

They say 1^st year is a very crucial time, because the pressure of studies is a lot. And this pressure somehow changed the hardworker in me into a smartworker and I began to come forward in each aspect of curricular activities.

My activities also gathered a lot of wind from the members of the opposite sex. And a boy that I was, who had just moving on from a break up, thought that It would be nice to make some female friends. But boy was I wrong. That friendship did not end well. I won’t dwell much on that because it’s not good to disclose old personal matters of people on the cyberspace.

Among those females, I met a girl, and BAM! Cupid struck :P

Trust me again friends, college love won’t last forever, it’s just a matter of time until your partner sorts out their priorities. In my case it was just the 1^st year. Then we broke up.

1^st year was the most memorable period of my life. In this period I began to feel a change in me. I began to be an independent boy, fully aware of his surroundings, began to learn the nature of people, got betrayed, therefore became stronger.

My advice to everyone out there..enjoy your 1^st year in college as much as you can. Because after that, the college life will never be the same.

Watch this space for more…

The distance between two leap years

2012-02-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a kid, I had this one dream, to become a computer engineer. The world of engineering seemed an enigma to me even in class XII. That time everyone was busy preparing to get an admission into a decent college, and I along with my buddies was playing it cool. Clearly I was oblivious to the fact that what is the big deal about colleges? I mean, they are all the same….How wrong was I.

These engineering colleges, though they all provide the same 4 year course of engineering and provide the same Bachelor of Technology degree, they differ a lot in many aspects.
Firstly, we have the IITs, the crème-de-la-crème. The big shots make it here, and as I thought, brainiacs with limited social life.
Then we have the regional engineering colleges, which are also respectable in the resources they provide as they are supported by the various state governments.
Then we have the plethora of private engineering colleges, with makeshift labs, at par faculty and still on the way resources. If you were a student like me in your classes XI & XII and didn’t give a rat’s ass about your entrance examinations, chances are that you’ll end up here like me.

I graduated from school in the year 2008, a leap year. To be honest, my scores in competitive exams weren’t that great, so I wasn’t getting into a good college. But good for me, my father had a backup plan, as always. He had his links in this college, United group of Instituitions, and he got me a seat in computer sciences stream in the greater Noida branch of the college.

Now here I am, in the fourth year of my college, just 3 months from graduation. It’s the year 2012, another leap year. This journey from one leap year to another was an enthralling experience, which transformed this bumbling teenage boy into a more mature and confident man.

Keep a tab on this space, as I’ll be updating my story year by year in four different posts, as now I stand so close to graduation which makes me realize that this golden era will be over soon. The feeling makes me nostalgic and a bit emotional, so please bear with me if I dedicated four more posts to the same topic.
See you next time with the events of my 1^st year in college. Adios till then.

The battle of the sexes

2012-02-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

Since the beginning of time, the male has been considered as the stronger of the two genders. He’s always looked upon as the alpha male of the pack, the chief guardian, the prime tribesman. This held true as the early jobs of hunting and foraging were brutal and the physical and mental strength of man gave him an upper hand in the activities. Thus women were always looked upon as the weaker sex, too timid to do anything “manly”. Hence, mankind developed the theory of the weaker sex.

But since the stone ages, a lot of changes have occurred. Many were good and many were bad for the humanity, but that’s an entirely different blog story, I’ll get back to that one.

One of the good changes was the recognition of women as an integral part of the society. They were not looked upon as the weaker sex in most parts of the world. Special reservations were made for them in various fields, such as government’s scheme for parents with only girl child, education, jobs and travel even! If you are a Delhiite, then you must know about the special facility provided to women by the Delhi Metro Rail Cooperation. DMRC has announced that the first compartment in each metro train shall be reserved for ladies. Now they have their own compartment as well as the previously reserved seats in public transport buses. So apparently, women are not the weaker sex anymore. They walk with men shoulder-to-shoulder in each field.

However, during the past few years, a serious degradation in the status of the male has dropped significantly. And trust me, I’m not saying this because I’m a male myself, but as a result of various incidents that have occurred before my own eyes. For instance, take the metro rail, as told earlier, the first compartment is reserved for ladies, and if any man, even by mistake gets into that compartment, he is greeted with a garland of verbal tirades and classic desi style chaped. It’s no surprise if you get thrown out of the ladies compartment with red swollen cheeks and wounded self-esteem.

Not only the first compartment, but females have their seats reserved in the remaining compartments too. Let me tell you an incident that happened to me. It was the year 2009 and I was coming back from home. That time I lived in Bhopal and my college was in greater Noida. So I took the Bhopal Express and had to take the metro from Indraprastha so as to reach Noida. I don’t know about any other human being, but I sure do get tired after travelling for 12 hours straight. So I see no harm in sitting on an empty seat of the metro train which was not reserved for any physically challenged folks, senior citizens or any females.

There I was, sitting down, minding my own business, until a young girl of about 18 walks up to me and says “Hello mister, have you no shame? Why are you sitting? Isn’t it your duty to offer a woman your seat?!”
I looked at her, she stared at me with wide unblinking eyes, I swear if she had a gun she’d shoot me then and there. I thought to answer her back, I wanted to say that “you have a full compartment reserved for you, go there!” or “this isn’t a reserved seat, and I’m very much tired and exhausted, whereas you look pretty upbeat and fresh, you spoiled daddy’s princess”
But a pathetic pushover that I am, I gave her my seat. My legs punished me for the whole day for straining them so much.

It’s okay if a woman makes a guy stand up if he’s sitting in the seat reserved for ladies, but it’s not applicable vice-versa. Why? It’s unethical. We men are the STRONGER SEX. Like the women care! There are no seats reserved for men anywhere in the world! Trust me my fellow males, men are not the stronger sex anymore, in fact we are the weaklings. Our physical strength is all we’ve got now.

Try saying no to a girl who’s requesting you to do something for her (which apparently she can do quite easily but won’t so as to save her the trouble) and she’s continuously giving you an innocent smile and saying with utmost cuteness “please”. It’s hard. Your cardiac muscles need to be made of steel if you can refuse a girl in that situation.

Women, no doubt are fantastic creations of nature. But they can yell at you, scream at you, spray pepper in your eyes, kick in your man parts, even slap you and you just have to stand there and endure it.

The times have changed, society has changed, and people have changed. So has the meaning of gender inequality.

Sadda Haqq..!

2011-12-07T06:17:00.001-08:00

“Kyun sach ka sabak sikhaaaye
Jab sach sun hi na paaye?
Sach koi jo bole to tu
Niyam kaanun banaye.”

The above lines of the famous song “Sadda Haqq” from the flick Rockstar sure does hold true in the present scenario of our country. Politicians trying to bog us down with their new found laws and acts, trying whatever they can so as to stop the truth from coming out. But is it worth it? Is it justified on their part to do so? I say no. The truth is already out. The government is mostly ineffective, full of corruption and multitudinous flaws. This all has led to chaos and unrest all over the country, on a scale never seen after the Independence of our nation. And the capital’s answer to this problem? Simple..Just hide the facts, cover the trail..pretend that nothing’s happening!

But the government won’t be successful this time. The youth is waking up. From the peaceful protest of Anna Hazare to the violent outburst which has been deeply imprinted on the face of Mr. Sharad Pawar, the times have started to change.

The youth of today won’t take no for an answer. We need the proper explanation of each scam, con, hustle that has been played on us since the 1950s. The social uprising has already been initiated on social networks like Facebook & Twitter. So now, the government wants to censor our social updates just to make it sure that their ugly truth doesn’t get out in the open.

Just listen to this: "Anna instigates violence"- Sharad Pawar.
No Mr. Pawar, he doesn’t. You got slapped because of your own whims and fancies. Don’t blame someone else for it.

Now, let’s talk about the man who might get this blog down if he reads all this, Mr. Kapil Sibbal.
What to say of him? Let’s have a look at his work profile:

1. Introduced the CCE system of education, thereby making a somewhat working education system into a dysfunctional tormenting machine for the little kids. You want to make the youth more educated? Then go get your facts right about better education skills and systems. Merely copy-catting foreign countries won’t do.

2. Put a daily capping on the number of SMS a user can send from his mobile. Man for this move I really wanna pull a sharad pawar on him! Who are you to decide how many SMS am I allowed to send? If you are really so smart then reform your telecom ministry and put this act only on the telemarketers, not on subscribers like us.

3. The crème-de-la-creepy..the screening of updates of all Indians and reviewing them whether or not they are “post-worthy”. Well Done Sibbal sahib, you and you’re bloody government can’t monitor a handful of pricks you call politicians so as to curb corruption, but you sure as hell can monitor the tweets and updates of all the Indians! If you think that its going to happen then you need serious psychological help.

Actually, Sibbal wants to monitor our tweets because Internet is the only media that can’t be bought. He wants to kill our right to freedom of expression and speech, which is totally unconstitutional and illegal by law.

You want to play Law and order with us Kapil Sibbal, well here you go, something direct from your rule book, the Constitution of India:

Article 13. Laws inconsistent with or in derogation of the fundamental rights.—(1) All laws in force in the territory of India immediately before the commencement of this Constitution, in so far as they are inconsistent with the provisions of this Part, shall, to the extent of such inconsistency, be void.

(2) The State shall not make any law which takes away or abridges the rights conferred by this Part and any law made in contravention of this clause shall, to the extent of the contravention, be void.

(3) In this article, unless the context otherwise requires,—

(a) “law” includes any Ordinance, order, bye-law, rule, regulation, notification, custom or usage having in the territory of India the force of law;

(b) “laws in force” includes laws passed or made by a Legislature or other competent authority in the territory of India before the commencement of this Constitution and not previously repealed, notwithstanding that any such law or any part thereof may not be then in operation either at all or in particular areas.

(4) Nothing in this article shall apply to any amendment of this Constitution made under article 368.

And, Article 19: Protection of certain rights regarding freedom of speech, etc.—(1) All citizens shall have the right—

(a) to freedom of speech and expression;

(b) to assemble peaceably and without arms;

(d) to move freely throughout the territory of India

Fine, if Kapil Sibbal wants to defy all law and go on with this fancies of his, then let’s unite and give him a taste of his own medicine. Let’s give him updates more than he can handle. Let him review. Let’s see whether the government has the guts to stop this movement or not.

Till then, signing off..Jai Hind..

Relationships..

2011-11-23T10:55:00.001-08:00

What? Déjà vu already? Not your fault. Happens to every one of us when we see the topic “Relationships” firing up.
Yeah, it happens. After all, we’ve all been through this type of crap on the internet, after we google for topics such as “How to woo a girl?” or “How to find out whether he likes me?”
A word of advice, that all is useless. No one can ever generate true feelings for someone just by reading material over the internet. It’s a relationship, not a final year project!

Relationship, let me start off simple, I’m no expert either. I’ve been in a relationship before and it was a wreck!

I’ll tell you why. See it begins at a very tender age, the teen-age. It’s the age when we start to know ourselves, when we start to change according to the group dynamics around us. But we don’t realize that all that glitters is not gold. I’ve seen many of my friends do some really messed up stuff in their teen years just to maintain their façade of coolness, and that is not the way to live one’s life (But that’s a totally another story). So, this teenage, makes us vulnerable to all the Bollywood romance and Hollywood fairytales. At a tender age of 15, I’ve seen girls dream about their prince charming. That’s sweet, but my dear, right now, you’ve got board exams to worry about :|

But as if we care! We are teenagers! We want everything fast!

Ring any bells? Ya, that’s how all of us were a few years back. We all wanted to update our relationship status in Orkut from “Single” to “In a Relationship” so badly that we went head over heels after a person we even had a crush on! And since that person was also suffering from this disease of relationship status updation, they accepted your decent proposal and you both became a couple. Congratulations on your first relationship! Sorry to crash in, but its not gonna last long.
You wanna know why? Read on.

The relationships aren’t always as sugary as they seem to the untrained eye. They are made up of three basic periods:

1. The Honeymoon Period : In this period, you both agree to each other, spend time nicely with each other. Infact you both loooooooooooove eath other soooooooooooo much that nothing could ever separate you. Infact this period is what attracts you so much to get committed with someone. But surely enough, the honeymoon doesn’t last forever.

2. TheBurn-in period : As for any component in electric circuitry, this phase is the settling in phase. This is where the true relationship tests begin. Problems and differences will show their ugly heads and it will be a tough time for you and your partner. This period has the highest probability for the occurrence of break ups. The couple, now fully aware of each other’s shortcomings, now cant stand the sight of each other. Hence, the battle of the sexes. P.s. Teenagers break up here.

3. The Forever phase : Finally, if your relationship can make it past the 2^nd phase, then there is a high possibility of it lasting forever. I’m not saying that this phase will be completely fight-free. But for sure, it’ll the most happy and content phase. If you don’t believe me, then look at your Mom and Dad. That’s what a true relation is.

A word of advice, the first relation of your life is mostly a disaster. That doesn’t mean that you should give up on relationships, or wantonly try to break up. But have a faith, a belief. That there is a reason for every failed relation. A better one is waiting for you, and that’s probably the one that’s meant for you. Coz after all, its Love that makes the world go round. <3

My advice? Start off easy. Don’t jump in with the objective of finding your partner. Just be casual, be friends. Trust me it’s the best way to know each other. And then, once you are sure that you’ve found what you’ve been looking for, then go ahead! You are headed in the right direction. All the best!

My Life's 1st Job Interview

2011-09-25T01:42:00.000-07:00

“Okay here we go, the final list of selected candidates, the new Infoscions.” My heart went into a massive beat phase when the HR lead started announcing the names. I was measuring my pulse rate every 10 seconds…it was on an average 120 beats per minute. The names were being called out in a random order…with only 158 students on the list, the HR had 7 sheets with names on them. If your name was any of the sheet, you got lucky and selected, else, it’s a try again. It was 11 o’ clock in the night. We all were gathered in the auditorium of our Allahabad campus of our college. 7 sheets, and the HR was already through reading out the first 4, and they didn’t have my name on it. 3 more sheets, it’s now or never.

Rewind, 12 hours…Same place, the auditorium, during the pre-placement talk.
The led HR, Mr. Sudhir Mishra explained to us the benefits of being an Infoscion (i.e. working with Infosys) such as the purchasing power, ability to impress girls (:P), mental satisfaction, fame etc.
The man then showed us an inspirational video to motivate us, and it surely did help me to keep my morale up during the 70 minute written test.

The test consisted of 30 analytical questions and 40 verbal ability question, which had to be done in 70 minutes. Those, I swear, were my life’s fastest 70 minutes! I wasn’t sure whether I had managed to go across the cut-off or not.

Having nothing else to do, we all went and sat in the auditorium to wait for the results to be announced. The result came out at 4 in the evening. The results came in randomly and in a batch of 25 students. The interval between two results was around 20 minutes. I sat there in the hall for an hour before my name was called. To be honest I was highly nervous and was totally numb, finding it difficult to breathe. But when they called out my name, I rushed towards the interview chamber.

Now, this is funny. I went in the waiting chamber with my documents and a Neal caffrey type confident smile. But I was wearing a borrowed wrist watch, borrowed tie and even the belt! :P :P
I waited in for at least half an hour before my name was called for the interview. I went inside the room with shaky legs and reprimanded myself in my head “KANAV BE CONFIDENT YOU IDIOT!!!”

I went in the interview panel room and it went well. A senior HR member asked me a couple of techno-managerial questions and it took round 10 minutes. I was free of the tests and interview till 6 pm.

Now, I was feeling damn hungry, so I went back to the hostel and had my dinner and 10 cups of tea to ease the anxiety.

Now, fast forward 3 hours, Its 11 pm and I am sitting in the auditorium, with a fluctuating pulse rate varying from 120 bpm to 140 bpm.

The HR had already gone through the first 4 sheets and had almost finished the 5^thone, still no sign of my name. Heartbeat going up through the ceiling, anxiety and tension choking my throat, nervousness and fear gripping my spine and twisting my backbone.

Now, the sixth sheet, my pulse rate increased with every name he took that was not mine.

Suddenly, halfway through the sheet, he called out “KANAV GULATI”……

And I collapsed in my chair, heaving a huge sigh of relief, thanking the almighty and then calling all my friends and relatives, giving them the god news….

And that’s how, I became an Infoscion….

Mischief Managed!!

2011-07-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

Harry Potter….The boy who lived….

Its been 8 years since we were introduced to the meek, shy and glassy 12 year old boy with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Later in his life, it was revealed to him that he was a wizard, and thus, began a magical journey set on the historic battle of good and evil. The saga was too epic that it involved not only the kids, but their parents as well. It drove generations crazy with every spell of the wand.

And now, its over…

I was the same age as Daniel Radcliffe, better known as Harry potter, when the first installment of the epic saga “Harry potter & the sorcerer’s stone” surfaced into my life. I saw it with my cousin sister, actually she talked me into it. According to her it was superb! Thanx a ton mitika! If it weren’t for you, then I would have never been introduced to this magical world. I saw the movie 3 times and developed a serious infatuation with the story. Within days after watching the flick, I was drawing lightning bolt scars on my forehead with marker pens, carving wood sticks to make my “wand”…yes, I was a potter-freak J

I loved being a potter-freak. Then the routine began. Everytime a new installment to the series was out, I had to grab a copy of it and finish reading it as soon as possible, to keep myself updated with the activities of Hogwarts, which always, and to everyone, seemed a hell lot of more interesting than my own school :P

I loved when harry slayed the basilisk, when ron flew his car & when hermoine deployed her time turners. It was surreal. Like I could relate to the characters. J.K. Rowling made my childhood a wonderful memory. I wish I had a pensieve so I could store it, like Dumbledore.

The final installment created much hype, mostly as it was the last and had an awesome battle between the hideous dark lord and our spectacled teenage hero. The movie was fabulous, and it really lived up to its expectations. I loved the final battle, and also cherished neville’s moment when he slices off nagini’s head..Ohh, my sorry for the spoilers. But you have seen the movie already, ryt? If not, then what are you waiting for? Go, live your dream, defeat the dark lord, and may it be a full stop to a wonderful era we cherished since our early teen years, it has to end, and let it end. It deserves an awesome ending.

After all, Harry potter might be over, but the memories it gave me, all those experiences, fun, laughter and horror…are here to stay with me. I am proud to say this, as I am Kanav Gulati, THE BOY WHO GREW UP WITH THE BOY WHO LIVED :D

Presentations Ahoy!

2011-04-04T13:01:00.001-07:00

It was quite a week for me at the college. For the first time in my life, a teacher said that I was gradually creeping into his "blacklist". Hell I don't know what the reason is (probably my attendance), but it doesn't bother me that much. Because I know, no matter how random things might appear right now, a plan of my dramatic emergence will sweep in from any direction.

But the last Friday was quite a wreck. We were all held back after break to attend our seminar lecture, due to which we had to attend our Ind.Mgmt lecture. Nothing against it, but it's all theory! Theory makes kv drowsy :P

So, it's like this, we hadn't attended even a single lecture of a 50 marks worth subject, the seminar presentation. To tell the truth, I always wanted to attend the lecture because it was taken by a faculty I admire, she's an excellent teacher. And I'm guessing she's the one only who speaks high of me when presently all my teachers are willing to murder me. But I could never attend the lecture, due to mass bunks. Peer pressure, you know :P

So, this time, we were all given a fair choice of topic, either-you-decide-or-we-decide types. So I first took up Free and Open source soft wares. Nice choice, I thought to myself. But suddenly what crossed my mind, I switched to Ethical hacking, a much more palatable topic, I thought. Gradually through our proceedings, we were given a 1^st base deadline till Monday 4/4/2011 to submit our presentations in electronic form, or ppt, as we call it.

The whole idea of this bamboozle is to provide the students a mock platform to step up and present their views on any god forsaken topic. The main motive is to open up the students, and make them good speakers and presenters. A point highly praised by recruiters.

I like this thing. I love holding onto the mike and taking the audience on a joy ride. I have been anchoring for the college events since the past 3 years, be it freshers or fests, people take me up as a primary selection, and I like it. It gives me more exposure and also strengthens me, because I know I have to give my best, there are a lot of people counting on me.

Overall, I sided with this system of seminars. But, the typical engineer of UPTU! Most of the students of my branch retaliated. Kya yaar? Iska kya fayda?

Stupids, look for loss and gain in almost everything. But like it or not, Monday was the due date.
So we went back to our hostel rooms, and started brainstorming. Boy, I never thought explaining something was far more difficult than learning something. Just think of our teachers. What amount of effort they put in to teach a room full on idiots. From now onwards, I promise to be attentive in class, i.e. if I go to the class :P

2 sleepless nights and 1 evening, and my presentation was done. Although it required me to hack into many websites, even my own college, but all for the sake of education, I thought :P

It felt good, but something was missing. I don't know, but It didn't feel right. So, for a decent second opinion, I mailed it to a friend. According to her, I could've done a lot better, but considering the short span of time in hand, I've done well.
Thus, I got the green light and finished off my report and mailed it to the respected faculty.

Now, I'm just waiting for my turn to deliver the seminar on the mystical topic of ethical hacking, fingers crossed, hoping for wellness and chanting ALL IZZ WELL….

Generation gap….a common phenomena

2011-03-29T08:12:00.001-07:00

What is a generation gap? In my dictionary, it's when the people of one generation tend to despise or show an indifference towards the other generation's "traditions" and "practices".
For example, what would your mom do if you got a tattoo? Or what would does your dad say when he sees your new hair style?
For the elders, auntyji, how would your daughter react if you forced her to wear salwar suits only? My dear uncle, what does your son say when you tell him to stay away from the laptop?

What seems awful to one generation, seems appealing to the other generation, that's, ladies and gentlemen, the GENERATION GAP.

Firstly, this phenomenon used to occur between Grandpas and Grandsons, but that was back in the yester-years. That time even the color televisions hadn't even hit the Indian market :P
But there was lesser conflicts and the resentment among teens was uncommon.

Then came our time, the guy and girls of GenX. You're almost around 20 now. Do you remember your teen years? Yeah, the good old days! :D
The Gap was between Dad and Son…the consecutive generations. There was a time when buying a decent multimedia set of Nokia required hours of pleading before the parents, then one could become eligible for the classic Nokia 1100 :P
Yes, life was still a struggle, which gave rise in the resentment among youths, which is properly known as "Youngistan". What can we do? We are in a dangerous period of our lives! We have to deal with our studies, peer pressure and the goddamned hormones! We already have enough on our mind. Yet, we survive. That's how it goes.

But now what we are witnessing, are highly dangerous times. Make sure you have fastened your seat belts, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.!
Nowadays, the generations have evolved and dilated to such an extent, that sometimes, it's impossible for the people of the same generation to understand each other! Say for example, brothers.
I and my younger brother are six years apart. But still, I can't figure out the desperate need of his to keep a cellphone. I just don't get it. I lived without a cell phone till class XI and it was just fine. But I tell you these younger kids….Kuch had se zyada hi advanced hain!!
Check it out for yourself, all you have to do is just go through the Facebook wall of any teenager who is currently under 16. I promise you, you'll witness the lamest updates and posts. I don't know what the problem with them is, but documenting your each and every thought on the internet isn't fabulous, it's all not diamonds.
It's us, the on-the-break-of-adulthood people that can't decipher these kids, let alone our parents. They are just as clueless as we are.

Well I guess this is what generation gap is, and the way that it's proceeding, there may be a situation possible in the future that even twins might face some retribution among themselves: P