Four-CHEN-ate!

Soccer, soccer, and gymnastics

2016-11-01T18:00:00.001-04:00

Both Erik and Carson are playing soccer this fall. This means we have had soccer 6 days a week since mid-August. Thankfully all the practice fields have playgrounds so the siblings haven't gotten too bored. Erik is playing on a travel soccer team. It's been a big adjustment. He was on U8 RecPlus last year. He was one of the older kids on the team, but the United States changed the age brackets for soccer this fall. So now he was bumped up to U10; and is one of the youngest on the team. Moving from RecPlus to travel is an adjustment; being bumped from U8 to U10 is also an adjustment (he is now one of the youngest on the team).

I was quite nervous about having him on a travel team as I knew he'd be a bit of an underdog (he is for sure). But, on the team there is a Darrin (Daron), Kevin, and Colin. All three of my brothers are represented and they all have unusual names! I find that quite amazing and felt like it was a sign he was on the right team.

It's been a tough season though. They've lost every game and Erik is an underdog, as expected. He's had a good attitude, seems to have fun, and has a nice coaching staff. We are almost done with the fall season. They will play together through June. We'll see if they have more success in the spring?

He's been doing an agility/speed class on Mondays with 5 of his teammates from last year. He loves this class! It's nice to do something other than formal soccer training, for sure!

Carson is on U6 soccer. I love U6 soccer! It so fun to watch them play 4v4. The kids who understand the game look like superstars. Since Carson has been watching soccer for as long he can remember, he has done very well. Almost no pressure and high reward (easy scoring) - very fun.

Lainey has been doing gymnastics this fall. She is superhero strong and can climb anything with ease and does lots and lots of unbroken pull-ups. It's fun to watch! She loves the bars more than any other skill and is quite good at them.

This winter I plan to transition the three of them to swimming - haven't decided if this will be lessons or on one of the local teams. Lainey did a two week trial with the "best" local swim team. She made the team but hated the cold pool - so now I'm not sure where I should have them swim.

My van has hit 71k miles -it gets lots of miles each week.

Lots of Visitors

2016-11-01T17:45:00.001-04:00

This fall we've be blessed to have many visitors. We also took a quick trip to Philadelphia.

Our visitors started with my Mom. She came in just at the right time because I ended up catching a stomach bug (from work colleagues). I was able to lay in bed for 24 hours which allowed me to recover and kept the foursome safe from my germs. Phew!

Two weeks later, Victor's brother Mike and his boys came for a weekend. The live in Philadelphia. His boys are 5 and almost 7. So they fit in with my clan quite well. It was so nice to see the cousins together - it had been too long. It rained a lot of that weekend so soccer was rained out. We did get outside and visited AnnMarie Gardens for their "cardboard festival."

The following weekend we drove to Philadelphia. My mother-in-law met us there. We were supposed to go to Diggerland, but once again it was raining. Instead of a fun amusement park, we spent time at the Franklin Institute and the Please Touch museum. We saw Mike and boys again - it's been at least 2 years since Sandy had all of her grandkids in the same room.

Sandy came to our house later the week- through the weekend. She spent lots of time at soccer and took us out to dinner. She went back to Phili for a few days, then joined us again for a few nights. She watched all four kids for me while I was at work (they had a day off of school) and tried to teach them how to make her special chicken.

We have a couple weeks off and then my parents will be back out here! Ha!

Lainey at 7 (overdue!)

2016-08-24T20:55:00.000-04:00

Sweet, sweet Lainey!

Lainey is such a dear girl.

She is truly a big blessing to me!

She is a wonderful helper, kind, self motivated, honest, and responsible.

I'm really so thankful for her. She's grown and matured a lot this year.

She had a wonderful first grade teacher last year and really enjoys school.

She reads well and over the summer has discovered the joy of chapter books!

She loves babies as much as I do and will fight me to hold any baby

we get a chance to spend time with!

She has many baby dolls and really loves them.

I bought her a weighted, lifelike doll for her birthday (6 lbs).

She carries her everywhere.

She takes a baby doll to every soccer session she dragged to (there are MANY)

and often brings her back carrier or a carseat for her dolls.

I love seeing her be a little girl.

She's such a sweet, mature helper but still a little girl.

I'm glad to see her sense of pretend mature and develop.

She started piano lessons this year and is a natural.

She LOVES piano and never once have I had to remind her to practice.

She hates playing soccer (ha!) and sticks to climate controlled, non-running sports.

She loves both swimming and gymnastics.

She participated on our local swim team this summer and does about 1 hour

of gymnastics a week, most of the year.

She is 49.5 inches tall and 53 pounds

She is STRONG and muscular!

She loves watching my crossfit classes and has a huge

desire to be as strong as possible.

I must say, I'm quite proud to have my dear daughter watching me

lift weights and fight for a healthy body.

She is much stronger than I am and can whip out pull-ups and

do a legless rope climb with very little effort. :)

Lainey is a true blessing to me!

I am very thankful for her and hope she always knows how deeply she is loved!

Grandparent Camp

2016-08-13T09:03:00.003-04:00

This is the first summer I haven't been back to Wisconsin since moving out east 9 years ago. I really enjoy going home in the summer, but this year, our trip to KS/NE took place of that. Mom and Dad pitched the idea of having Erik and Lainey come out on their own. This meant they had to fly on their own! Luckily, they love to fly and that idea didn't phase them at all.

They had a great week with Mom and Dad. Here are a few photos from their week of fishing, go-carting, painting, swimming, baking, etc. They had a wonderful time and weren't homesick at all!

The little boys and I had a nice time at home too. It was fun to let Carson 'be in charge" for a little bit. He is a homebody, so didn't want to anything too big. He is just happy to stay home and play (my sweet boy!). We went bowling, went out to eat, went to the pool, played at a local beach.

It was a great week for all of us, I'm thankful for my kids loving grandparents! (Grandma Sandy too!)

Kansas/Nebraska

2016-07-13T20:33:00.002-04:00

The kids and I spent 8 days traveling. It was definitely work but the kids did really well!

We flew into Nebraska to spent a couple of days with my dad's family. Three of my aunts and uncles, a number of cousins, and my almost-92 year old grandpa live in Nebraska still. It was really nice to see everyone! I haven't had all four kids to KS/NE ever so it was a much needed trip! In Nebraska we ate lots of yummy food, explored the Lincoln Zoo, Lainey went rock climbing, and I fit in a soggy 7 mile run.

The entire trip was inspired by my Grandma Baker's 90th birthday. So after a couple days in Nebraska we headed to Kansas City. We spent 4 full days in Kansas. Lots of time with family and food.

The last full day the kids and I went to downtown Kansas City and explored there. We went to Kaleidescope (Hallmark's kid place), ate at Fritz's (train delivers your food), met up with Aunt Barbara and head to the aquarium, then walked over to union station and explored the train display and a science museum (fun!).

Our flight home had a pit stop in Tennessee. I am a very experienced flyer but phew was that ride bumpy. There was a huge thunder and lightening storm over Kansas City the morning we flew out. I thought our flight would be delayed. It wasn't. Instead it was rerouted south. So so bumpy. Poor Kyle yelled and hollered until he fell asleep. Haha! Erik and Lainey will be doing a solo flight soon - so they were sitting across the aisle. I'm happy to say they handled it like champs. Carson hated the turbulence as much as Kyle and I did but he just sat quietly while squeezing my hand to pieces. :)

I'm thankful for my family! So blessed to have two living and healthy grandparents in their 90s! And thankful to be able to spend some time with them this summer!

Grandpa Williams

Grandma Baker

Lainey and Reid

My kids and my cousin Jill youngest two kids -

playing at Janet and Dennis' house and

exploring the zoo

Travel day

Grandpa Williams and four of many greatgrandkis

Trains in Kansas

Lainey rock wall climbing with Alexa

She made it to the top of a 42 foot wall twice

Meeting up with my friend Diana from high school -
she lives in OH, I live in MD, we are from WI and met up inKS

Grandma's party

Sparklers at Barbara's on the 4th of July

Grandma and her greatgrandbabies (minus Jake)
It was quite the party!
All of my cousins, siblings (including Feifei), Aunts and Uncles were there
Plus most of my Grandma's nieces and nephews came!
Can't hardly imagine what her 100th birthday party will be like. :)

Veil of Grief

2016-06-26T11:54:00.001-04:00

Veil: (1) piece of fine material worn by women to conceal the face (noun)
         (2) to cover, envelop, surround with as though with a veil (verb)

I think it's safe to say, that grief has clung close to me during the past 4-5 years. Losing Daron was a bit of a soul crushing experience. He died just over two years ago, but was sick for 2.5 years prior to that, and grief was chasing me that whole time.   It was just hard. Plain and simple.

Then as soon as Daron passed, my husband started immediately acting out, ultimately leaving the kids and I over a year ago. Grief again.   Losing a spouse to sin, somehow doesn't seem to compare to the grief losing a young brother to cancer, but it is still hard.   Pressing through that grief requires a different skill set. I was okay, better than I expected, but I was barely through the deep grief of losing Daron and immediately required to pull it together so I could help my kids through their own grief. Hard. Plain and simple.

I don't think it's possible to live on this earth and escape grief. It touches us all. And it's always hard. But it doesn't last forever. Thank you Lord!

One thing that really suffered after losing Daron and Victor was my running. I just simply couldn't run. I don't know exactly why, but I couldn't. When I would try to run it felt like my feet were made of cement and my heart would physically hurt.

During the past 2-3 months, I've been able to run again!! Today, I conquered a 5 mile run in hot, steamy weather. I'm not fast, but I can do it again.   This leaves me feeling thankful and triumphant. It feels like the veil of grief has finally stepped aside for a bit and I am free again.

Thank you Lord for carrying me through this valley. Thank you Lord for the friends, neighbors, teachers, childcare providers, pastor, church, and family who have helped my through these challenging years.

I am so very thankful for my life, even the hard parts. Gods love has been poured out on us in tangible ways. I hope to live a life that brings glory to God and that he will use me to walk along others and bring hope and joy into others during periods of grief (like so many who did that for me).   And pray that I won't lose sight of His goodness during future trials and walks with grief.

Erik's sense of humor

2016-06-06T08:20:00.002-04:00

Erik is my quiet kid.
But he loves a good joke and handles sarcasm really well.

Yesterday, he cracked me up with his quiet humor.

He had a soccer game, at a local field we don't play at often.
It's in a small "town" called Hollywood.

On our way there, Erik asked casually, " Mom, am I on travel soccer?"
He has try outs for this coming up.
I said, "No, why? Your try-outs are later this week."
He responds, " Well, then why do I have to travel so far for my soccer game. You said it was in Hollywood (referencing Hollywood, CA)."

Hahaha! Good one buddy.

A few minutes later, as we pulled into the soccer field, he reads the sign that says, " Hollywood Soccer Complex."

Instead of reading the word complex as a noun; he read/ennunciated it as an adjective. He did this as a joke and said, "Yep. Guess this place really is complex."

Silly guy! Love it when his sense of humor surfaces.

Recurrent Strep

2016-05-29T21:10:00.000-04:00

So strep throat seems to have found our house and decided it likes us. So annoying and hits at very inconvenient times!

Our first round was in late December. Two days before flying to WI. Lainey tested positive; Kyle and I both developed symptoms and were treated.

Second round was in March. Same week that Lainey was hit with a golf club, breaking her maxilla. All three boys had it - but I didn't take anyone in until we were five days into the ordeal because only Carson developed super high fevers. Lainey was also on antibiotics due to the fracture.

Third round - Memorial Day weekend -starting 24 hours after Erik breaks off half his tooth. Lainey and Kyle have tested positive. Carson seems fine so far. Erik is also on Amoxicillin due to his tooth injury. I swear I have it, but my rapid test was negative (and done under the table) so no antibiotics for me, yet.

I hope this is it! If it strike again, I might ask that we all get a Rocephin shot and hopefully get rid of it for good?! New experience for us.

Never boring. That's for sure!

Daily Snapshots

2016-05-27T19:10:00.001-04:00

5th kid

Broken tooth

Temporary crown, after braving 2.5 hours in the dentist chair

Scout feeling left out

Sick baby

Silly boy

Erik was top dog (student of the month)

All three kids have been selected once this year - Yay!

A well loved dog

Good friends, despite the size difference

Hard being two

Rock wall at school

40 years/One Year

2016-05-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

5/26/2016

This marks one year since I realized Victor had decided to continue the affair, supposedly stopped in early March of 2015. This marks the day my marriage ended. One year ago, I was devastated, scared, embarrassed, and angry. We'd been in counseling for 8 months. I'd worked SO hard at trying to be the best wife possible. V had made steps that indicated to both me and our counselor that he was invested too. But 5/26/15 he stopped pretending. He admitted to a lunch date with his girlfriend that day; immediately after he had met with our counselor individually for accountability. It was a day I had spent cleaning up piles of vomit, only one day after being sick myself. Not a great day.

But here I am, one year later. Still standing! And standing tall, with my head held high, when not on my knees praying! The kids and I have formed a tight bond. It wasn't an easy transition (poor, poor Erik really struggled) but with hard work, counseling, help from friends and family when needed, and prayer we made it!

It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I am confident that the kids and I are all much happier than we were a year ago. Peace has been restored to our home that had been gone for years.

I didn't realize until Victor forced an ending to our marriage how stressful our house had been. It was stressful! Partially due to four small babies and losing my brother; but really exacerbated by a struggling marriage/super unhappy spouse/Dad.

Is this were I wanted to be 15 months ago? No way. Do I think our marriage could have survived and thrived?! Absolutely. But that wasn't possible when only one person was invested.

Are the kids and I happy, healthy, and very blessed?! Absolutely.

I come away from this year, feeling so grateful for the many, many blessing in my life! I am a happy, healthy, have a great job, and four of the best kids on the planet. So little to complain about over here!

I do anticipate some bumps during the next 1-2 years as presumably our separation will lead to divorce. Please pray for continued PEACE, that my kids will stay safe, and God's direction/presence will be obvious during that transition. Thank you!

5/29/2016

This marks 40 years that my parents have been married! 40 years!! Now that's an accomplishment. Was their marriage an easy one? No way! But they are both hard working, honest, kind, and stubborn people - who stuck it out through the best and worst of days. Forty years has required a lot of work and compromise, but doing so has left them with a peaceful, fulfilling relationship - friends still after forty years.

I am so proud and thankful!
Good job Mom and Dad.

Notable Quotes - Erik and Lainey

2016-05-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

Victor took the kids over night for the second time since he left almost a year ago. On my way to drop them off with him yesterday afternoon, I reminded them that they would be spending the night with him and I would see them tomorrow.

Erik immediately responded, " Wow Mom! That will be a great opportunity for you to clean."

Haha! I chuckled a bit to myself.

Before I could respond Lainey pipes up from the back seat, " Wow, the house will be so quiet Mom!"

I said, "Yes, it will be quiet. I will miss you guys!"

She followed up with, "But at least when you clean the house will stay clean for a day. "

Hahahaha! Oh my sweet kids!

They had a nice time. I did clean, grocery shop, and mow but I also went out for dinner and drinks with friends last night and slept in this morning. I did miss them very much and was so thankful to hear their happy shrieks as they ran to greet me this evening.

Phew! 24 hours without my kiddos is long enough, for sure!

34 - Daron's Cake

2016-05-15T21:26:00.001-04:00

My dear brother Daron, would be 34 today if he were still here.
Oh how I miss that brother of mine!

Copycatting my Aunt Janet, I have decided to make a cake on/around his birthday each year and give it to someone who has been important in our lives or needs a boost.

The kids and I were a bit of a scrappy team at the beginning of the school year. I am so thankful that all three kids have had wonderful teachers this year!!! They have been such a blessing to our family!

Erik was especially struggling last summer. He seemed affected the most by Victor leaving plus he had a really not-nice teacher for the first three quarters of 1st grade (which left him hating school).

I can't really express how thankful I am for the teacher's they have this year. Erik once again enjoys school. Not once have I heard him complain about a day at school this year. I am SO thankful for that!!!

Since all the teachers have been wonderful, I decided to share this tradition with all of them.

Carson's teachers were - Mrs. Santos and Mrs. Leget (full time aide in the pre-k class).
Lainey has Mrs. Gruber (the same first grade teacher that Erik was switched into for the last quarter of his first grade year. She is wonderful.)
Erik has Mrs. Augustin.

Daron's favorite cake is a poppyseed cake with caramel frosting and a custard "filling." This is quite a time consuming process! I really wasn't impressed with my results this year (might need to make it more than once a year), but I decided the results weren't really that important.

Below is a photo of Erik, Lainey, and Carson with their wonderful teachers. (Don't be fooled by Erik's scowl. He likes his teacher a lot; he doesn't like photos.)

Mrs. Santos has taught all three of them in pre-k! (The 2nd one, on the left.)
She has taught all three of my kids to read!

1 month

2016-05-10T08:17:00.000-04:00

My kids get out of school one month from today.
That means this is my last month that I will have Carson home in the afternoon. I love spending time with that little guy. While Kyle sleeps we are able to play card games, soccer, puzzles, read books, etc. I don't spend the whole nap time with Carson because exercising, cooking, laundry, and cleaning need to get done too; but I always make a point to spend 20-30 minutes of quality time with him.

I can't believe next fall I will be sending him off to school all day too.
I think he will be ready but I'm not.
He is a my sweet, tender little kid.
He also loves to be home and doesn't like crowds at all.

I am both nervous and sad about sending him off to kindergarten.
If he gets a kind, organized teacher it will be great!
If he gets a loud, disorganized teacher who likes to yell (there are some in the kindergarten) he will hate it.

I remember feeling super nervous sending Erik to kindergarten. (But not so sad as he was almost 6 and had three younger siblings at home.)

I felt okay sending Lainey to kindergarten. She is a confident student and loves school. Even though she was a young five, she was ready.

So hard to believe, that my crazy toddler/baby days are over!
I LOVE the phase my kids are in now and hope it doesn't go by so quickly.

HEre's to the last month!
Let each day I get to be home with my buddy be a good one!

Kyle at 2.5 years old!

2016-04-10T13:55:00.002-04:00

Oh Kyle is my spitfire!
He is such a hilarious kid.
He is either in a great mood or an awful mood.
Thankfully, the good moods are starting to outweigh the bad moods (60/40).
He is a joker and thinks "potty language" is hilarious.

He loves people and is very extroverted.
He goes to a daycare 3-4 mornings a month and does well.
He tends to play with a 4 year old named Macy. One day when I went to pick him up, they were pretending to be married. Last week they were cooking soup and pizza. Ha!

Kyle has a very amazing imagination.
Most of his pretend play involves fighting something. He LOVES swords.

Kyle loves passionately!
He is the biggest momma's boy I've ever met and would like to be carried all day long. Still.
He loves Lainey and Scout almost as much as he loves me. Ha! (Thankfully Scout is the most tolerant puppy ever and puts up with his passionate affection.)

Kyle has some anxiety too.
Generally it's being left behind and sleeping alone.
I battled with him over staying in his bed at night for about 6 months.
I've never, ever had a kid sleep in my bed and have been quite opposed to it.
BUT you learn something new with each kid.
Unlike my other kids, who tolerated being "trapped" in their rooms at night after being transitioned out of their cribs, this created utter panic for Kyle. But, without his door being locked, he would be in and out of his bed all night long. I tried everything - including switching his room - so he now shares with Carson. Nothing worked. So finally, after talking to my friend Julie White who is also a single mom, I caved. So for the past month or so, if he wakes at night (probably does 5 nights a week), and it's after I am in bed, I just let him climb in and snuggle with me.
It's really helped his overall demeanor I think. He sleeps later in the mornings and is definitely more secure feeling at night. I think he has been more pleasant during the day as well.

Kyle is a fun loves, spirited little boy.
He loves people, has a clear idea of what is right vs wrong, and doesn't want to be left out of anything!

He makes me smile and never lets me forget how deeply I am loved! :)
He is a riot and I am very thankful he is mine!

Carson at 5

2016-04-10T13:41:00.000-04:00

My sweet Carson just turned five. The poor kid was sick with strep throat on his actual birthday.
What's Carson like at five??

Carson is still a sweet, tender-hearted little boy.
He is easy going and fairly flexible.
He is a great helper around the house.
He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily.
If he is misbehaving, I literally only have to threaten to yell and he shapes up. Ha!

He loves sports - playing catch, riding his bike, or playing soccer are his favorite things to do
He also loves legos, games, and puzzles.

He is really, really good at math. He can count to 100 by 1s, 2s, 5s, and 10s.
He understands addition and subtraction - very consistently adds and subtracts numbers up through 20.

He is reading a bit.
He can read through the first 10 BOB books - all one syllable words that are easy to sound out.
He is a great student - nice to other kids and listens well to his teachers.

He still doesn't like loud noises or crowds.
He picks quiet kids for friends.
His is absolutely adored by a sweet little girl in his class named Gracie.
She follows him everywhere and just loves him.
He likes her a lot too, although gets a little overwhelmed with her devotion to him. :)

He has some anxiety - hates but upstairs or downstairs on his own, is afraid of bears and doesn't want to go to any states with bears in them (ha!), sleeps with a light on, etc.

Carson is a sweet, easy going kid.
He is a true blessing to me!
I am very thankful for him!

Atlanta

2016-03-25T22:55:00.001-04:00

Thankfully, our ordeal with strep and a facial injury occurred a week prior to our trip to Atlanta! Taking a 1350 road trip (round trip total) with four kids on my own was only going to happen if they were healthy and thankfully they were!

We left Thursday after work/school. It's about 650 miles from our house to Feifei's. I was able to make it 400 miles the first night with only one stop and minimal complaining! We ended up just west of Charlotte, only a few miles from the US National Whitewater Center.   I'd heard of this place because my friends brother had his wedding there.   The kids and I spent about four hours there Friday morning. I first took them on a three mile hike, then rewarded their efforts with a ropes course. The kids could have spent all day there, but we were on a mission to get to Atlanta.

We drove the final 250 miles that afternoon - again only one stop! After getting to Feifei's apartment, we explored her complex/grounds, then headed to Emory's campus. We walked around for about 30 minutes then stopped for dinner. And then it was time for bed!

Feifei has a one bedroom apartment, which she let us stay in while we were there. (She stayed with her "friend" Scott.)

Saturday we got up and headed downtown to the Atlanta Aquarium. We spent a few hours there. It was very neat but also VERY crowded.   After that we went to eat lunch, walked around Centennial Park, then headed to Lego Land.

It was nap time for Kyle, so Feifei and Scott took Erik, Lainey, and Carson to Lego Land while I pushed Kyle around in the stroller. Lego Land in Atlanta is located in a mall, so I did all my spring shopping for Lainey and Erik while Kyle slept. :)

After Lego Land we ate a quick dinner, then headed to a Karoke "bar." This was quite fun! The "bar" has about 10 Karoke rooms that you rent and then your group has private Karoke. Lainey, scott, Feifei, and I had a lot of fun singing. The boys were more interested in the large number of buttons on the remotes. Ha!

After Karoke, we stopped for a quick dessert, then headed back to Feifei's to sleep.

Sunday morning we got up and headed to Stone Mountain. I had been there with Daron, when I visited him in Atlanta, in 2004. It was much different that I remembered.   We all loved it! The first thing we did was take a tram up to the top of the mountain. You can hike up/down it, but it isn't stroller ascessible. Knowing I'd have to carry Kyle for a majority of any hike, I deciding hiking down was probably smartest (about a 2 mile hike only but steep and slippery at times).   The big kids are great hikers! They weren't super excited I tricked them into another hike, but they did great once we got started.

Feifei was there by the time we got down. We spent the rest of the day exploring the park, which is essentially a small amusement park. We all had fun and I was very thankful to have Feifei there to help me wrangle the troops.

Feifei had a very early morning at the hospital the next day and needed her space back so the kids and I headed back home after leaving Stone Mountain.

I drove about 200 miles that night (it started to rain and I was tired).   The next day we got up and drove again. I didn't really have a plan in place but my friend Karen has made a number of suggestions for fun things to do in North Carolina as her parents live there. One of them was the Greensboro Science Center. We got to Greensboro around 11 AM, ate an early lunch, then headed to the Science Center.

As we pulled in, we saw a gigantic ropes course! My kids LOVE these so they were SO excited! Unfortunately, you have to be 8 years old and be accompanied by an adult. Erik didn't fuss when I told him I didn't want to pay for a guide plus his ticket(since I couldn't leave the other three unattended). I suggested if he wanted to go, he could help pay for the guides ticket. He thought about it and decided it was worth $20 out of his savings.

I couldn't agree more! This ropes course was amazing! He spent 2 hours up in the trees - made it through 6 of the 7 courses (2 hour time limit). He has no fear and very bravely goes through these very high obstacles!

Lainey, Carson, and I were all able to participate in 1-2 ropes courses during this trip. I'd never been on one until a year ago. If you knew me as a child, you'd be floored that I have conquered my massive fear of heights! I'm not sure I would have made it through the big one Erik went on, but at least I can keep up with Lainey and Carson still!

We stayed at the Science Center until 5 PM, stopped for a quick dinner, then drove the last 5 hours home.

We left Scout at a Puppy Daycare. He did just fine, but boy were we happy to pick him up when we got back!

I'm so thankful for the oppurtunity to do fun things with my kids. They are really at a fun stage of life! I really enjoy them (most days).

Greensboro Science Center

Erik up in the trees

Lego Land

The top of Stone Mountain

Riding on a train - Kyle was VERY excited!

Free range chicken and baby monkey (gibbon?) at

Greensboro Science Center/Zoo

PEtting a dog that is 3/4 wolf

Kids at the US National Kayaking Center

Carson and Erik on the first ropes course of our trip

Pretty brave and awesome kids!

A very LONG week

2016-03-14T13:04:00.002-04:00

Last week was one for the record books. Kyle has a fever, cough, snotty nose, pink eye starting on Sunday. Monday Erik came home from school with a fever and headache. Carson also spiked a fever Monday evening. Erik seemed to recover fairly quickly although intermittently was complaining of a headache and sore throat. Kyle's fever broke but then he broke out into hives for three days. Carson continued to spike fevers for four days. When I checked his ear on Thursday, it was clear he had puss fill ears and needed to be seen.

In addition to all that sickness, Lainey got hit with a golf club on the face Wednesday evening. A neighbor boy accidentally hit her. I was inside going to the bathroom, when Noah ran in yelling that Lainey was bleeding. As soon as I realized what had happened, I found a neighbor and rushed her to the ER.

Poor little Lainey cried for an hour after it happened, then fell asleep in my arms. The ER was busier than I've ever seen it, but they did move us through pretty efficiently. A CT scan of her face was done which showed she has a fractured maxilla (cheek bone). She was started on augmentin for a week, put on restricted activity for 2-3 weeks, and a pureed diet for 2 weeks. My girl has been amazing! She hasn't complained at all about the pureed diet. I have been so impressed! To support her, I've also been eating a pureed diet. I've been making lots and lots of soups, so it hasn't been too bad. (I am SO thankful, the club hit her cheek. If it had been off an inch in any direction, her injuries would have been much worse.)

Anyway, back to the boys. Friday I had 15 patients scheduled, but I knew I needed to take Carson in to be seen. I was able to make a 2 PM appointment, only had to cancel 3-4 of my patients, and my rockstar babysitter met me at our doctor's office (50 minutes away from my office).

The pediatrician agreed with the double infection. I asked her to check him for strep since the other boys were sick too. She did and his rapid test immediately turned positive. Ugh! Thankfully, she called in meds for all the boys and Lainey was already on antibiotics.

Within 24 hours of starting meds, the boys were 95% better.

Poor Carson turned 5 on Friday - the day he was diagnosed with a double infection and strep throat. Ha!

My mother-in-law came for a quick visit on Saturday. Just in time to rescue me! I snuck away Saturday evening and went to a local hotel to sleep (for 9.5 hours). I am happy to say we are all feeling much better today. Phew!

Kids Stats (2/28/16)

2016-02-28T07:38:00.001-05:00

Erik:
Height: 54.5 inches (90%)
Weight: 73 pounds (86%)

Lainey:
Height: 49.5 inches (85%)
Weight: 49 pounds (50%)

Carson:
Height: 44 inches ( 75%)
Weight: 42.5 pounds (65%)

Kyle:
Height: 35.5 inches (42%)
Weight: 29.5 pounds (47%)

My first three seem to have gotten my families height genes, at least partially. Not Kyle though. He is short and stout, a bit like his Dad. He certainly will have enough personality to make up for it!

Scout

2016-02-15T21:46:00.000-05:00

Well, we've added to our family! A very, very sweet little Labradoodle named Scout. I'd been thinking about a dog for over a year, but was afraid of the work. So we tried a cat, which failed miserably due to allergies. So it was back to a dog.

This fall at Carson's soccer, a (new) friend brought her dog each week. Her dog was such a sweet, gentle puppy. It was a labradoodle, which was one of the breeds I'd been considering since they don't shed. I started following her breeders website and decided to go for it.

I requested a light/reddish girl puppy (to even out our balance a bit), but the breeder we went with, picks the puppies for the families based on temperament. We the time came to assign a puppy to us, she strongly suggested a chocolate boy. Since ultimately, temperament is more important than anything, I was happy to follow her suggestion.

We couldn't be happier. This little puppy is so wonderful! He is sweet and gentle. Certainly, he is a puppy and spends part of the day tearing around the house, chasing things but he is just SO sweet. We love him immensely already and I'm thankful to say, at this point, it's much easier than I anticipated (Certainly easier than a newborn!).

Here are a few photos of our new addition....

So Loved

2016-02-15T08:04:00.000-05:00

I think I have the worlds best friends! With this my first Valentines Day as a single mom, I think my friends must have been worried that I would be sad. I don't think I would have been, but now I'll never know, because I was so loved and celebrated by my friends that it was truly my favorite Valentines Day ever.

Friday night I came home from work and Margaret, one of my sitters, had dropped off a HUGE bouquet of beautiful flowers.

Saturday, three of my friends from Virginia came to visit. They brought me lots of gifts - chocolate, cookies, wine, babysitter money, a ring (to replace my wedding ring), a journal with a beautiful note, flowers. Oh, and my friend J brought the kids four singing animals. Haha!

We went out for dinner and were able to secure a table at my favorite restaurant that doesn't take reservations. I met these friends when Erik was 10 months old. We've been through many, many pregnancies, many moves, kids with issues, Daron's cancer, Jenn's cancer, a failed marriage, and now my dear friend J is also fighting cancer. Please pray for her! I felt SO special Saturday, even though J's battles are much bigger than mine, they spent time and money making sure I am okay. True friends!

Sunday morning, my kids woke me up at 5:51 AM. I admit, I failed as a mother for a few minutes. I knew they were planning something the day before, but I went to bed really late and woke up to Scout kissing my face and a plate of carrots and grapes in my face. After I yelled at them about getting Scout out of his crate and waking me up so early, I quickly realized that they had been very excitedly presenting me with breakfast in bed (thank you Margaret for giving them the idea). I took a deep breath and put in my contacts and went to apologize. They had spread streamers throughout my room. The carrots and grapes were a reflection of my fridge status (now restocked). I am SO lucky to have four kind, loving kids.

Victor took the kids yesterday. He took Kyle to target and let him pick out flowers for me. That boy was SO excited! (Don't over-read this - Victor has no intention of ending his new relationship, but I do appreciate this gesture, for sure.)

Topping of my weekend of being so well loved, my friend Nicki let me know she sent me a package in the mail too. And my Mom started the Valentines celebration by sending up two HUGE batches of cookies in the mail.

I simply can't recall a time when I have felt so loved. I am so blessed.

Sick Day/Snow Day

2016-01-25T22:10:00.001-05:00

We've had some highs and lows this month!

Fun events include...

1- A quick night away..

I was able to take Lainey and Erik to a VA mountain resort for one night. I'd planned to take Carson too, but he was sick, so he stayed behind. We spent one day at an indoor water park. Our friends were there too, so that added to the excitement.    The second day we went skiing. Erik's been skiing three times and is really pretty good at it. He confidently navigates the green hills and ski lifts on his own.   Lainey had never skied before and tends to be a bit more cautious. I was able to get both of them into ski school for the day. Lainey was able to move past the bunny hill, onto the green hills. Pretty impressive. I took her down the green hill once after "school" got out and she made it, but started and stopped on her way down.   Erik passed to level four of ski school - the blue hills. Sad for him, we had to leave after only one day of skiing.   That boy LOVES all outdoor activities.

I managed to navigate a blue hill (and survive), plus I left feeling very confident on all the green hills and was more than able to help Lainey down/up as needed. I've only been downhill skiing three times too, so I'm pretty proud of myself for mastering the greens. :)

It was a very fun day, even if it was unseasonably cold at 16 degrees! Brrr!!

2) A "blizzard"...

We were fortunate to be on the track of Blizzard Jonas. We got around 18 inches of snow. Areas just north of here got 30! It snowed from 2PM on Friday until Midnight on Saturday. Since then it's been warm and sunny (45 degrees today). We've spent a lot of time sledding, digging forts, and well, shoveling. I always love getting a big pile of snow out here, because it doesn't last long and causes a lot of excitement.

Less fun events include...

1) Sickness...

For the past three weeks, one of us has been sick. I am going just slightly nutty. I was sick first with a crummy head cold. Right as that ended my kids started coughing and spiking fevers.   One of them has literally had a fever and/or "cough so hard you puke" for over two weeks. It is getting OLD! Lainey started this bug and is still coughing! Carson was next. He had a fever 9-10 days ago, coughed all week, then spiked a fever AGAIN! So he is on antibiotics. Kyle started coughing a week ago, had a fever 3-4 days ago, and now is back to just coughing. Erik started coughing about 24 hours ago. We'll see if he can avoid the febrile portion of this illness. I'm hoping Carson is the only one with a secondary bacterial infection that develops! And I'm praying I can avoid this bronchitis type illness. Man, my body doesn't handle these chest colds well and it is hard to parent well with this type of crappy virus.   Time will tell I guess.

(Meanwhile, Carson hasn't been to school since January 13th due to illness, snow days, and planned days off of school. There is no school tomorrow - see next paragraph - so the soonest he will be back is the 27th!)

2) Freaking snow days!

I don't mind A snow day, but man having sick, febrile children PLUS all my other children hanging out for days on end is slightly annoying.

I literally haven't seen Erik since Thursday. Ha! He leaves the house to go sledding with his buddies by 9 AM and I have had to drag him back inside at 6 PM each night. (I did feed him lunch one of those days - otherwise he's eaten at a friends house).   So, I love the snow days for his sake.

Lainey and Kyle really seem to dislike the snow for the most part though plus neither Kyle nor Carson have felt well. So I've been stuck indoor with the three of them most of the past 4 days. I am starting to get a teensy bit stir crazy!

Today was sunny and beautiful. 45 degrees out and no school. And guess what?! No school tomorrow either! And even better a tiny bit of snow and ice is forecast for both Wednesday and Thursday this week. If that sticks in the forecast, I think there is a REAL possibility school will not resume until Friday, or heaven forbid next week.

I skipped to work on Friday and believe me, I will be smiling on my way to work Wednesday.

3) Sleeplessness

With sickness, there is a lack of sleep (for me!). I LOVE my kids and I love being a mom more than anything (even if the above paragraph leads you to believe otherwise!). But I am tired because I've had one or two coughing boys in my bed the past three nights. Oh well. Good thing I learned to like coffee after Kyle was born!

I'll try to post some photos, but my iphoto is broken and I don't have a good back up system to upload from storage to the blog.

We are doing well over here! I love the snow and 45 degree days! I'm hoping school resumes and sickness ends promptly!

Lovely Visitors

2015-12-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

We've had lots of visitors this fall. Feifei came for a few days in late October. My mom and Dad came for close to a week over Thanksgiving. And Colin visited for 4 days last week!!

We had a big gathering here for Thanksgiving which was fun. Mom, Dad, Chris, Joanna, and Anna Capp, plus my new neighbors from Australia. The weather was beautiful so the kids just ran around the house and neighborhood all day and played. I really enjoyed the day.

Feifei, Mom, and Colin all watched the kiddos while I worked which was great! Dad helped me with lots of projects around the house - very helpful.

Colin was a good sport - we had a very busy weekend when he was here. So in addition to watching the kids Friday while I worked, he also took Erik and Carson to a library program, shopping for indoor soccer shoes, out to lunch, to a "wood chopping event" (he found this on his own), and then met me at a soccer game. (I had the other two at a different out of town soccer game.)

I've enjoyed the visitors and am thankful for all the support.

Soccer! (Written 11/14/2015)

2015-12-13T21:21:00.000-05:00

Erik decided to play soccer again this fall. He had not played a full season for almost 2 years (due to breaking his leg during spring of 2014 and playing baseball the following two seasons). We were so blessed to have him make the RecPlus league and be placed on a team with wonderful coaches and teammates! This has been the best experience we've had in the world of sports.

They played their last game today. It was the Kohls cup which is a national tournament. The format is 4 vs 4 - no goalies - 20 minute games. They played four games, winning three out of four. A fun way to end the season! It was a loooong day - we were at the soccer field for almost seven hours.

Lainey, Kyle, and Carson deserve spectator awards for all the soccer they have watched this fall.

We have 1 month off from soccer (hallelujah!) then futsal starts. Erik's team will play together for winter and spring season as well.

Erik's coach, also coaches his daughters team. Lainey will play on her team this winter as well. Futsal should be much easier on me, as it's only once a week.

So we don't get bored - I signed the big three up for swimming lessons held at a college about 30 minutes from our house twice a week. Good thing with that - all three have lessons at the same time and place. I will enjoy the two weeks off from spots though!

I am SO thankful for all the hard work and effort on the part of our coaches this fall! They have made such a difference in our lives this fall.

Quotable Quotes

2015-12-13T21:20:00.001-05:00

I was reading a book to Carson tonight that said, "God made everything." Carson looked up at me confused and said, "No He didnt. China made some of it too."

"Thy Will be Done"

2015-11-01T15:40:00.001-05:00

I joined a new small group at our church and I think it is going to be a great fit for me.   It's a newly formed group, so prior to the holiday season, we are just studying short bible passages that focus on prayer.

The facilitator said something on Friday that I found really helpful. The passage we studied was Mark 14:32-42. Jesus had taken three disciples out to keep watch while he prayed. Jesus knew he was about to be arrested/crucified and was anxious about it. He asked God to take away this trial he was about to face, but followed by saying "Your will be done."

The importance of this phrase was highlighted by our bible study leader. He said, in all his years as a Christian, he hears this phrase used during prayer time only rarely. People instead pray for healing, lack of suffering, peace, etc. all well intended but maybe should be more frequently praying, "your will be done."

This is a tricky prayer though - requires you to trust that God's will for your life is best, even if things don't go the way you might want it to.

I've been at a loss as to how to prayer for my marriage during the past few months. During the year of "fighting" for my marriage - it was front and center in my prayers.   Prayers the my marriage would be healed, Victor would find peace, and I would find ways to be the best wife possible. I was terrified that my marriage would fail and I would be left alone to raise four kids.

Well, I am now 5 months into this single parent gig and it's not so bad. I've truly found a new joy and peace about my life that I never expected to find. This has stumped my prayer life though.

Somehow even though I didn't want this, I am currently happier and there is more peace in our house, than there has been for a long time. At the same time, I'm certain God did not want my marriage to end or Victor to behave in the way he is behaving.   Due to this, I felt like I should be praying that Victor turn his life around and come back to us. However, I just couldn't do this, because the thought of my marriage actually being a source of joy and peace seems impossible to me and I know I don't want to go back to how things were before.

So I was stumped. I can't pray that Victor continues making bad choices, yet I don't really want him moving back in anytime soon. What was I to do?   I wasn't sure, so I just stopped praying about it.

After Friday night though, I've finally figure out how to pray for my marriage again.

It's simple really - "Lord, may your will be done and please give me the strength and grace to accept your will even if it's not what I think might be best."

How might the phrase, "Thy will be done help your prayer life?"