Yummy~issimo Personal Chef Service

Chef Debbie Says: Seems I Touched A Nerve

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Tue, 31 Jan 2017 22:32:00 +0000

Yesterday I posted on Facebook about a client who didn’t like my Slow Roasted Rosemary~Garlic Lamb Shanks with garlic mashed potatoes. He only wants his lamb grilled as a chop with lots of mint jelly.

Seems I touched a nerve. Mine.

Most of my chef friends who commented on my FB post told me to shake it off ~ he’s allowed to smother a perfectly cooked baby lamb chop with sickening sweet mint jelly if he wants to. After all, he is the client.

Yes, he is. But it still pissed me off a little. Well, to be truthful, probably more than a little.

He’s a retired physician. He’s traveled the world. He’s eaten in more 5~star restaurants than I could ever even hope to walk by someday. He should have a more refined palate than mint jelly for God’s sake!

And, yet, he picked me as his personal chef.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about him. He’s pretty much a saint. His wife was sick a couple of years ago and it left her in a wheelchair. He is her primary caregiver. And, he’s a good one. A really, really good one.

Looking back over the initial Food Questionnaire we all went through when I added them into my weekly cook rotation, it seems she doesn’t like lamb. And he does.

She’s not allowed to have sweets. And he loves sweets. They never have sweets in the house.

Face palm!

A good way to eat something sweet in front of her without her feeling left out is to eat lamb chops. Smothered in mint jelly. It was a long drop to the ground off of my high horse.

After an hour awake, I realized that if my dear client wants lamb chops smothered in mint jelly every week, it would be my honor to make them for him.

And then I was able to go back to sleep.

Chef Debbie Says: Blame It On FaceBook

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 18:34:00 +0000

So way back in 2007 I started this blog. I was pretty faithful about writing ~ off and on ~ until 2011. Then I got lazy. Really, really lazy. Why? I found Facebook.

I mean let's face it. It's pretty easy to scroll through all of your FB friends' posts, quickly "liking" or sharing their Mean Cat photos. And, the IM feature is pretty cool if you're planning something you don't want your "other" friends to know about.... Like that surprise party I planned that I didn't want to invite a few "certain people" to. You still don't know who you are.

Then, my friend Sandy Webster Hall started a blog. A really, really good blog. Click here if you want to follow a super talented chef who happens to funny and full of a lot of the same no~nonsense, no holds bared, in~your~face empathy that you've come to love about me.

Seriously, though. Why did I restart my blog after more than a five year hiatus you ask? Simple. I am SICK and TIRED and seriously pissed off from all of the political nonsense, crap, downright bullshit, hate filled rants, women bashing, men bashing and other posts that attempt to pass as "news" or "views" that Facebook is filled with now.

I appreciate your views. I truly do. And, evidently I am one of the very few who can actually disagree with you but still like and respect you. Freaking novel concept!

So instead of my wasting time scrolling through endless political rants, photos of abused dogs that make me cry or asking for prayers because your turtle got loose in the house and you can't find it, I'll once again be blogging my scarcastic, sometimes witty but always truthful point of view. It may happen once a week or it may not happen for several weeks at a time. If you miss me in between blogs, you can always follow me on Facebook. I'll be the one who posts irreverent, sarcastic, non~political cartoons, mouth watering recipes and just general bullshit about my day.

Chef Debbie Says: If I Don't Toot My Own Horn...

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 21:30:00 +0000

Last week it was announced that the readers of CityBeat Magazine voted Yummy~issimo! as the 2011 Best Caterer in the Best of Cincinnati 2011 issue.

And that means a party! Not just any 'ole party, but a "CityBeat Best Of" party. And, of course, they needed Yummy! food.

So I agree to have a minimum of 300 bites ~ but from past experience, 300 Yummy! bites would last about 3 seconds so I did almost 600 bites.

I arrive at one of the most breathtaking buildings anywhere... Memorial Hall. Set~up started at noon with the event starting at 5:00p.m. Covered tables and a prep area were supposed to be available after noon. I arrived, found my "covered" table and asked about the prep area. Downstairs, around a labyrinth system of dark narrow hallways into an even darker music practice room, nicknamed "the kitchen prep room."

Oh my. No tables. No refrigeration. Very little lighting. Not sure about the creepy crawlers in the corners, either.

Good thing I arrived at noon! My stress level jumped up a few notches.

So I ask, beg and nag until tables are rolled into the prep area. And, my anticipated arrival time with food of around 3:00 just got blown to hell. Lots of nit~picky details are required to assemble two of my appetizers. Time for Plan B.

The menu:
Shrimp marinated with lots of lemon, garlic, dill, spices and a touch of garlic olive oil with spicy cocktail sauce
Sesame chicken nibbles with spicy peanut dipping sauce
Pork tenderloin with goat cheese, fig and pecan on herbed brushcetta toasts

The menu was pretty flexible so instead of lots of pretty one~bite morsels, it was more of a buffet style set~up, but from the amount of people grouped around our table, the number of repeat visitors and the minor detail that our food was gone before anyone else, I think it was a success!

Chef Debbie Says: WTH?

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 14:35:00 +0000

You probably believe that the life of a personal chef is a glamorous, fun~filled whirlwind of gourmet food, high profile clients and parties filled with beautiful people and even more beautiful food.

I used to believe that too.

Let me tell you about a couple of phone calls I received this week...

Monday morning:
Me: Hi, this is Debbie.

Him: Hey Deb, it's name withheld to protect the "fill in the blank".... I just wanted to ask if you'd call your very rich, very very famous client and ask him if he'd speak at one of our lunch meetings. It would only take about 30 minutes of his time and he'd get a free lunch out of it.

Me: (thank Bacchus this didn't come out of my mouth... WTH) Uh... no! (I can't believe you're really asking this.)

Him: Well, do you at least know his agent's name so I can call and ask him?

Me: (Again, WTH) No, but perhaps you can Google it?

Monday afternoon ~ I'm driving down the interstate when the cell phone rings:
Me: Hi, this is Debbie.

Him: Hi, this is name withheld yada, yada, yada. I just passed your truck and I'm going to pull off at the next exit. If you could pull off, I'd like to give you a bunch of my business cards that maybe you could give to your clients?

Me: WTH (this one did come out of my mouth!). Uh, I'm sorry but I don't know you, I've never heard of your company and I'm not going to pull off the highway to meet you.

Him: Well, OK I get that. Maybe I can send you an email and we can talk and then we can meet?

Me: Yeah, sure, you do that.

Early Tuesday morning:
Me: Hi, this is Debbie.

Her: Are you a chef?

Me: Uh, yes, I'm a personal chef. Can I help you?

Her: Oh, I hope so! I have a brand new Taco Truck and the "chef" just quit. I need a new taco chef since tomorrow is our grand opening. Can you help me?

Me: (WTH Really?) Gosh, a Taco Truck Chef. I'm sorry but here's you can call and they may be able to help you.... (yeah, I know! I really owe the chef I passed her to an apology and a nice bottle of wine).

This person called me three other times in the space of 60 minutes because it seems she saved my phone number but not the number of the person I sent her to.

WTH... April Fool's Day isn't for three more days!

Now knowing how exciting my life is, don't you wish you could spend just one day in my scuffed~up Danskos?

Chef Debbie Says: You Really Expect "ME" to Eat at a Gas Station?

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:10:00 +0000

Last weekend I went down to Maggie Valley to visit my dearest friend Beth Brown, her darling husband Kenny and some of my favorite doggies in the world: Heidi, Oscar and Charlie Brown.

I arrive in Maggie with a full cooler with enough delectable treats to feed half of the state: center cut filets, two big slabs of meaty baby back ribs and lots of juicy Amish chicken breasts. Oh, and cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. Parmesan, Sicilian Jack, Danish Blue and Honey Goat. All this for just 3 people for just 3 days!

Beth says she wants to take me to a new favorite restaurant for lunch. I'm game. She's a foodie, Kenny is a foodie and if they say it's good, then it must be.

Oh, one minor detail... this restaurant is in the back of a gas station. And it's in a tiny town 45 minutes away.

Say whaaaat? You want to take me to a gas station restaurant? I'm secretly thinking they might have been away from city life a little too long...

Being the good sport that I am, I "graciously" agree to try the gas station restaurant with the slightly pretentious name of Caffé REL.

Well, Caffé REL put this snotty city girl in her place!

It was nothing like I expected. A charming little restaurant that would fit anywhere on the Champs~Élysées, the extensive menu featured delicacies such as:

Lamb Lollies ~ Rosemary rubbed lamb lollipops finished with shallot scallion Madera sauce

Snails & Tails ~ Helix snails and crawfish tail meat sautéed in butter with portabella mushrooms, Glace De Viande, fresh herbs, shallots, garlic, sherry and fresh cream... and then it's finished with a homemade puff pastry braid

French Blue Bâtard ~ Blue crab claw meat sautéed in butter with shallots, garlic, scallions and capers served on French bread, topped with Parmesan cheese and then baked hot and bubbly.

Not only was lunch simply amazing but when the server inquired about dessert, I ~ of course ~ suggested we "share" one. I naively asked which of the desserts on the extensive list was made in house... too many for me to keep track of.

After much discussion and debate, we decided on the Lemon & Strawberry Cake ~ delicate yellow cake with homemade strawberry jam in between the layers and then iced with an amazing lemon curd icing. Oh, and served with a fabulous whipped cream and vanilla bean ice cream.

I didn't want to leave the table and "laughingly" suggested we just order wine and keep the table until dinner.

So next time a foodie friend suggests lunch at the gas station, hope and pray they're talking about a road trip to Franklin, NC.

Chef Debbie Says: And I'm Not Going To Use My Turn Signal!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 21:40:00 +0000

So I was in the Yummy~mobile today minding my own business. Not on the phone. Not yelling at the idiots all around me. Not driving too fast (well, no more than 20mph over the speed limit).

And then my cell phone rings.

Hi, this is Debbie

I'm following you on the Interstate and I just wanted you to know that you didn't use your turn signal when you changed lanes.

WTF? For once, I'm speechless.

Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you had to pick up your cell phone, get close enough to read and remember my phone number and then take your eyes off the road to actually dial your phone just to tell me I DIDN'T USE MY TURN SIGNAL? What are you, the turn signal police?

You don't need to be a bitch about it. I thought you needed a reminder that turn signals actually signal when you're going to turn.

I'm going to hang up now because if you think that was "bitch" you're really going to be surprised when I actually turn into one. And, by the way, I'm not going to use my turn signal!

He hung up on me!

Damn, that was a good one! I usually come up with those witty~issimo come~backs about 2 days later.

Chef Debbie Says: Uh Oh!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Thu, 06 May 2010 12:15:00 +0000

Who the hell is in charge of their marketing department?

And don't even start me on the childish package design...

Chef Debbie Says: I Love Birthdays When They're Not Mine!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:05:00 +0000

Last Saturday was sweet husband Tim's birthday. Number 54 (in case you were wondering).

In Yummy! world, a birthday means a party. And a party means friends. And drinks. And food.

Lots and lots and lots of food. (Well, actually lots and lots of drinks too, but you knew that already didn't you?)

After several days in the kitchen, here's what the masses nibbled on:

Beef tenderloin, rubbed with bourbon barrel smoked sea salt, roasted rare and sliced paper thin

Marinated jumbo shrimp with homemade cocktail sauce

Honey Dijon marinated pork tenderloin, sliced paper thin and served with spicy mango and papaya salsa

Salmon 3~ways with Yummy~ized blinis: salmon roasted with maple and dill; roasted with Dijon and sesame; and, sweet and spicy. Blinis were served on toasted sourdough, topped with dilled deviled egg salad, creme fraiche and Tobiko caviar

An entire tray of 50 blinis ~ which were gone in about 15 seconds...

Sesame chicken with sweet garlic chili dipping sauce

Truffle paté and black peppercorn paté

Creamy caviar dip

New Orleans spicy crab dip

Tim's favorite spicy deviled eggs with crab ~ 48 whole eggs were gone almost before I could put the platter down

Brie with balsamic caramelized onion chutney and spicy pecans

Cheese, cheese and more cheese

Parmesan cubes with 2 dipping sauces: black truffle honey and red chili apricots

Chunky Danish bleu dip

Roasted 3~onion dip

And desserts. And fruit. And chocolate truffles. And sweet and crunchy pecans...

Judging from the amount of food left over ~ which was a crumb here and there ~ I'm thinking none of the guests had seen a scrap of food since about Tuesday...

If I'd followed a traditional caterer's calculations of:
# of Hours x # of People = Total # of Bites
I would have been about 20 pounds short just on the protein!

So even though it's a lot of work, I thank Bacchus that sweet husband is in good health, that we have amazing and wonderful friends and that I had Sunday off to clean up!

Chef Debbie is Nominated for a "Best of Cincinnati" Award!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:30:00 +0000

Wow!

Yummy~issimo! is nominated for a prestigious "Best of Cincinnati" Award in the Catering Category!

So, I'm going to grovel and ask that you all vote for me!

So here's what you do:

Click here

Scroll down in the EATS Section to CATERER (New) and there's a drop down menu of names.

Click on Chef Debbie Spangler which is the next to the last name in the column.

That's all there is to it!

You can only vote once for each email address so if you'd be so kind as to forward this to anyone and everyone you think would fill it out, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Thanks so much! You, my darling friends, are AWESOME!

Chef Debbie Gets Her Buttons Pushed

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:40:00 +0000

I try to be a nice person. Really, I do.

I put $5 in every Salvation Army Red Kettle I pass; I buy something from every neighborhood kid who comes to the door; I always let people with just a few items get in front of me in the grocery store checkout line.

But. When I have to travel into the abyss that is Costco, all bets are off.

So today I get to Costco around 12:30 ~ late enough that the young mothers with toddlers who meet and let the kids have play dates in the middle of the aisles are all home drinking lunch. And after the 11:00 a.m. rush of the food moochers ~ the people who have no intention of buying anything, but stroll 3 or 4 abreast sampling every food item at the end of every aisle.

You know who I'm talking about. You've seen them. And had to push your full cart around them while they have a coffee klatch in the middle of everything.

So today I'd gotten through all the freeloaders with just a minimal amount of pushing and shoving and the self~checkout lines are in sight.

And then she happens.

The old lady had just one item in her shopping cart. She was dressed in her finest fur coat, talking on a cell phone, hair and makeup done just so. She pushes her cart right in front of me and makes a dead stop. I try to go around her and she backs up.

I'm thinking this could get ugly...

Juggling her cell phone and grocery bag~sized purse, she pulls the one item out of her cart ~ a bottle of two zillion multi~vitamins and is trying to hand it to me.

"I need you to purchase this for me. They want me to spend $50 on a card just so I can purchase this giggasize bottle of vitamins." She's flabbergasted that Costco would actually expect her to purchase a membership in order to buy something!

And you know me... I said the first thing that popped into my head. "If you don't have a membership card, how did you get in here?"

"They have to let anyone in who says they're going to the pharmacy. Then I just wander around until I find someone to pay for what I want." She's very, very proud of herself!

Once again, mouth is much faster than the brain... "Absolutely not! If you're too cheap to buy a membership, then..."

She walked away from me. She freaking walked away from me! And approached another person.

So I shake my head, make a detour to the fresh flowers and spend a few minutes picking over the gorgeous bouquets.

I get to the self~checkout and a woman with only a few items is in line behind me. Of course, I let her go in front of me.

As I head toward the exit and line to show the checker my receipt, the woman I let in front of me is there.

With the vitamin lady ~ who turns to me, smirks and sticks her tongue out at me.

Is it wrong to want to run her over with my cart?

Chef Debbie Asks "Is It a Quiche? Is It a Tart?

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 22:50:00 +0000

No! It's a Quiart...

So last night I actually had to make dinner for sweet husband since I didn't make any extra portions from my client cook day.

What in the world was I thinking? This cooking thing at night takes me away from wine o'clock...

So it was clean out the refrigerator for dinner and The Quiart was born.

Flaky puff pastry was stuffed with caramelized onions, bacon crumbles, a mixture of ricotta, eggs, garlic, spices and sun~dried tomatoes and then baked hot and golden brown.

Only limited by what's in your refrigerator, here's the basic recipe:

4~6 bacon slices
2 large onions, thinly sliced
1/8t dried thyme
1 puff pastry sheet
15oz ricotta cheese
1/2c Parmesan cheese, grated
1/2c Mozzarella cheese, shredded
8 sun~dried tomatoes, in oil, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
pinch cayenne pepper
1/2t dried thyme
salt and pepper, to taste
dried parsley, for garnish
your favorite Cajun spice, for garnish

Preheat oven to 400. Thaw puff pastry at room temperature, approximately 45 minutes, until soft and easy to work with.

While puff pastry is thawing, fry bacon in large skillet until it has rendered all of its fat. Remove bacon from skillet and drain well on paper towels. Reserve 2T of bacon grease in the skillet.

Over medium heat, in the same skillet the bacon was cooked in, sauté the onions until they are golden brown and caramelized ~ about 15 minutes. Sprinkle with dried thyme and a little salt.

In medium bowl, combine ricotta cheese, Parmesan, Mozzarella, eggs, sun~dried tomatoes, garlic, cayenne, thyme and salt and pepper. Mix well.

Place puff pastry in pie pan, stretching sides to cover all around the pie pan. Don't worry if it's not perfectly positioned ~ once this is folded over and is baked, it looks fabulous.

Place caramelized onions in bottom of puff pastry and top with crumbled crispy bacon.

Pour cheese mixture over bacon and pull edges of puff pastry up over the cheese mixture.

Brush exposed puff pastry with a touch of water and sprinkle the dried parsley and Cajun spice all over the top.

Place pie pan on baking sheet and bake 40~45 minutes until puff pastry is puffed and golden brown and filling is hot and bubbly. Remove from oven, let sit 10 minutes, slice and serve with tossed green salad and a chilled glass of your favorite Chardonnay.

Some variations:
To lower calorie and fat content, use low~fat or fat~free ricotta cheese and part skim Mozzarella cheese
Substitute pancetta or diced ham for the bacon
Add 1/2c chopped fresh broccoli or chopped fresh spinach
Substitute Asiago, Gruyere or Jarlsburg cheese
Add 2T toasted pine nuts or chopped black walnuts
Change out the spices to your favorite flavors

Chef Debbie is a Globe Trotter!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:47:00 +0000

Bet'cha didn't know I was a Chef with so many different talents!

I met the legendary Curly Neal and the darling Moo Moo Evans of The Harlem Globetrotters on Friday.

They were at WGRR 103.5FM promoting their 2010 Magical Memories World Tour and they just happened to need another player...

Sweet husband Tim was so jealous!

Chef Debbie Talks Turkey With The Bengals

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:30:00 +0000

I'll just say that the last couple of months have been slightly hectic and we'll leave it at that.

Vacation in Puerto Vallarta ~ lovely. This photo is from the 2nd floor of one of our favorite bars, The Cheeky Monkey, overlooking the bay. We spent many pleasant hours here sipping $1 margaritas and watching the amazing sunsets.

Torn ACL and partial tear of MCL ~ painful.

Thanksgiving and all of the accoutrement's ~ exhausting.

For the 3rd year in a row, I've had the pleasure of cooking Thanksgiving dinner for Shayne Graham and his Bengal buddies.

So I started cooking the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Peanut butter and banana pies were first up. I've created client monsters when it comes to these pies ~ I have standing orders that whenever I even think about making them, there's a long list of people who expect to be on the short list to receive one.

I also started the cornbread for the cornbread dressing. Using my great~grandma's cast iron skillet and her recipe, I made 12 pounds of cornbread for the 20 pounds of cornbread dressing I needed.

After day one, I'm tired but functional.

Day Two of the countdown to Thanksgiving ~ absolutely must take take off to watch the Bengal's game. Oh Hell! Not one of their better games so now I'll have to drown my sorrows with a few glasses of wine. No more cooking today.

Day Three. Power shopping and the hell that is Costco.

Day Four and down to some serious cooking. Starting to get my second wind ~ or maybe it's a sugar high from all the wine I've been consuming...

The big day rolls around entirely too quickly and I worry. No matter how much food I've bought and prepped, I always worry about running out. I mean, let's face it ~ these are BIG men and the eat like they'd never seen food before.

How much food?

Between a couple of clients and the Bengals:

70 pounds of turkey
30 pounds of potatoes
15 pounds of sweet potatoes
20 pounds of cornbread dressing
9 pounds of green beans
9 pounds of fresh cranberries
26 pies
12 sides
were cooked, consumed and cleaned up.

By the end of Thanksgiving, I was so tired that even my eyelashes hurt.

Chef Debbie Says: Money ≠ Class ~ Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 14:33:00 +0000

If you didn't read Money ≠ Class ~ Part I you may want to before reading Part II.

So, The Jerk, in his 5'3" 140 pound, wimpy, Napoleon~complexed builder importantness shows me through his house. I say house instead of home because the difference is obvious. A home is warm and inviting. The Jerk's house is oversized in every way boasting a faux English medieval decor and that nouveau riche smell that you just can't quite eliminate.

The next day, rather than bother picking up the phone I sent The Jerk an e~mail detailing the courses I'd be serving and giving him a complete description of the place settings he would need. Surprise, surprise. I never heard back from him.

Sous chef, the amazing Ryan, and I arrived to find that he rented a cheap round card table and those mini white hard wooden chairs that nobody's butt fits in. And, he was still in the process of installing hideous giant sconces downstairs in the bar area, making his very pregnant wife carry a step stool down the stairs to him. As I said, he's a Jerk...

But. Not my problem.

China that The Jerk borrowed? Lots of non~matching bowls, coffee saucers, a few salad plates and dinner plates. All in that sickening sweet blue flower design that the grocery store sells as a "Piece of the Week" special.

Whatever. Once again, not my problem.

The Jerk had one volunteer Server instead of the two he was supposed to have. Said Server had no idea what she was supposed to do, and just wanted to stand in the kitchen and talk. Ryan, bless his patient heart, took charge of her. I would have kicked her saggy butt right out the back door.

Oh, and Server said she wasn't going to wash the dishes. Well, don't think I'm going to do them, sweetie!

Thanks to Ryan, the menu was beautiful. I was so disgusted with The Jerk that I just wanted to marinate the pork tenderloin, serve a few mashed sweet potatoes, a green salad and call it a day. Instead, Ryan talked me into this fabulous menu:

Caviar "Blini" with Dilled Egg Salad on Potato ~ Roasted purple and white fingerling potatoes stuffed with dill and Dijon egg salad, topped with creme fraiche and Tobiko caviar

Shrimp Stuffed with Panko and Parmesan ~ Two jumbo shrimp stuffed with a panko~Parmesan mixture, roasted and served on panko crusted fried green tomato slices and a large wedge of charred braised pork belly

Organic Baby Greens Salad ~ Organic baby greens tossed with shallots, sweet and spicy pecans and homemade pomegranate champagne dressing and garnished with shaved red pepper Asiago

Apple and Basil Sorbet ~ This one was all Ryan's baby and it was absolutely amazing! Homemade sorbet flavored with tart green apples and lots of fresh basil and garnished with organic rose petals

Pork 3~Ways:
Pork with Port and Cherry Glaze ~ Pork tenderloin medallions with a Port sauce and marinated cherries served on bourbon~barrel smoked cracked black peppercorn crusted goat cheese slices
Apricot and Pecan Stuffed Pork Tenderloin ~ Pork tenderloin stuffed with a mixture of apricots, pecans, garlic and thyme, served on herbed baked sourdough rounds and drizzled with red chili infused honey
Pork with Tarragon Calvados Cream Sauce ~ Mustard rubbed pork tenderloin, roasted and sliced into medallions and served on sautéed apple slices and garnished with a Tarragon Calvados Cream sauce

Herbed Orzo with Mascarpone Cheese

Roasted Zucchini and Yellow Squash Slices on Rosemary Skewers

Bread Pudding with Sautéed Peaches ~ Bread pudding stuffed with lots of sautéed peaches and tossed in an egg and cream mixture flavored with star anise, cardamon and vanilla sugar

No, Ryan and I did not do the dishes. We scraped, rinsed and left them in the sink. I'm guessing Mrs. Jerk probably got stuck washing them... Once again, not my problem.

Moral of this very long, two part blog: Money Does Not Equal Class.

Never has.

Never will.

Chef Debbie Says: Money ≠ Class ~ Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

September is finally over. Thank Bacchus!

I had an event booked every weekend, with a couple of weekends double or triple booked. And, every single one of them was fun, full of great people and something I'd definitely do again.

Except one.

Last weekend was my annual charity event where local chefs are given the same ingredients (this year: pork tenderloin, jumbo shrimp, salad greens), assigned a host home and asked to cook for 16~30 people.

I've done this event for the last three years and it's always been a joy to work with the host home, the guests were gracious and the evening a delight.

Until. This. Year.

This year's host (forevermore, now called The Jerk) was rude, condescending and so full of himself that I hated every minute of the time I spent planning, prepping and cooking. I knew I was in trouble when I met The Mother {insert scary witch laugh here} at the Chef~Host Meet & Greet.

Here's how the conversation went:

The Mother: You're soooo fortunate to be assigned to my son's beautiful home. He's an important builder and he's just too important, too busy and too wonderful to waste his time bothering with this blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Mother: Continuation of blah, blah, blah, my important son, blah, blah, blah... Oh, and the chefs we've worked with in the past have brought the china, silverware, linens, glassware, servers and extra tables and chairs so I expect you'll be doing the same...

Me: No, actually, the host home is responsible for all of that. I just show up with the food, my sous chef and prepare an amazing meal.

The Mother: Well {with a flick of her lacquered, platinum helmet head}, in the past we've worked with restaurant chefs and they've brought everything. We don't have enough settings so I expect you'll have to bring it.

Me: Gee, let me think... No, sorry. In the past, I've worked in homes where they've entertained on a regular basis and they have always had enough of everything, including space for the guests.

Oh, and by the way, if you weren't such a Mother I'd be happy to bring everything since I have more than enough.

Needless to say, The Mother was not happy with me. Unfortunately, that was the easiest and most polite conversation that I had with anyone in the family.

After sending numerous e~mails to The Jerk without response, I picked up the telephone.

The Jerk: Yeah, I got your e~mails but I'm just too busy and too important to respond. I'm an important builder, you know... blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Jerk: And since I'm an important builder, the only time I can meet you is...

So, I clear time out of my day to fit into his schedule. And he cancels the appointment about an hour before we're due to meet. The Jerk then made another appointment although how he can find time in his important builder life is beyond me!

We're scheduled to meet in the middle of the day ~ his choice of day and time.

So I arrive. On time. And wait.

And wait.

The Jerk shows up a full 30 minutes late and this is what he said (and I'm not ad libbing on this one, this is what he really said): I'm a builder. I didn't call you because my time is more valuable than yours!

And, as you can guess, by now I'm seriously POd. And, not polite about it: You and your time are no more important than mine. I had to leave a client's home in the middle of the day to fit into your schedule and you are so rude you can't even call to tell me you're going to be late!

By now, our relationship is in the toilet....

Chef Debbie Says: Just Give Me What I Want & There Won't Be a Problem!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:05:00 +0000

Four years ago I bought a new home range. I paid quite a bit of $$$ for it and it was a huge upgrade from my previous 25~year old one.

In March, one of the burners ~ the large front double burner ~ quit working. As in, hot one second and dead the next! Not a good thing for somebody like me who cooks a lot.

So I called the repair company. They came out and, long story short, didn't have the part I needed.

No problem, I thought, I'll just find it online.

Huh! Seems that EVERY online appliance dealer had that part on back~order.

Interesting, but not impossible. I'll just call the Customer Service department of the company that manufactured it. They've always been responsive and able to help me.

Well. Seems there might be a bit of a problem. Said part is no longer being manufactured, and is on indefinite back~order. You can, I was told, keep calling back to see when the part will be available.

OK sure. I'll call back. After all, I can't be the ONLY person with this problem. Surely they'll realize that thousands of these ranges were manufactured and that a critical component is not working. I mean, what are they going to do about the ranges still under warranty?

After five months of calling every 10 days, I'm fed up. The part is still not being manufactured, isn't going to be manufactured in the foreseeable future and basically I have a $2,000 piece of equipment that is only 75% functioning. And, since the same part is in the other 2 currently (and 1 intermittently) working burners, I'm not holding out a lot of hope that they won't have problems in the very near future...

Now I'm mad. Boiling, pissed off, don't mess with me M. A. D. And, as sweet husband Tim can attest, pissing me off is not a good way to start, end or have in any part of your day.

So I wrote a letter. A very detailed letter describing exactly what happened when and what I tried to do to solve the problem. Sent said letter to the top marketing person at the manufacturer. Very simply stated that I'm going to start talking to EVERY PERSON I see about this problem. And I know a lot of people.

Mr. Marketing Person called me and assured me that they would take care of the problem ~ one way or another. So they looked for the part. And looked. And looked. There isn't one to be found anywhere.

Received another call from the company. Seems I can go online and pick out the replacement range I'd like to have, it will be delivered and the old one pulled.

So, my friends, bottom line here. If you have a legitimate complaint and Customer Service can't ~ or won't ~ solve the problem, make sure the marketing people know about it. Keep track of what you've done to attempt to correct the problem yourself, be fair and respectful and then just politely suggest that you're going to talk to EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW about your problem.

It worked for me ~ but then again I am a persistent PITA until I get what I want!

Chef Debbie's Summer Escapades: All In One Yummy~issimo! Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:25:00 +0000

No your eyes are not deceiving you! This is actually a NEW Yummy! blog!

It's only been 2 1/2 months since my last blog, and there's been absolutely nothing going on... if you believe that, I have a bridge for sale...

So what's been happening in Yummy~ville?

Well, we went to the Fancy Food Show in NYC in June. Stayed with sweet husband Tim's sister, Judy and her teddy bear husband, Alan. We spent several days playing in the city and then ate and drank our way through the FFS. I didn't think it was possible that I'd ever get tired of luscious, creamy, double bleu cheese...

For those of you who followed Hell's Kitchen and the foul mouthed chef contestants trying to win the opportunity to work for (and turn into a mini) Gordon Ramsey, this is Petroza who was signing autographs at the FFS for a condiment vendor. I always thought he seemed like the only "normal" contestant on the show!

Back in Cincinnati with the suitcases barely unpacked, it was time for me to leave for New Orleans for my USPCA National Conference. How fun is it to eat and drink your way through such an amazing food city with 300 of your closest foodie friends!

Spent a good bit of time with one of my favorite people in the world, Liz Geeslin and her clan, the Kitchen Bitches!

Besides the AMAZING food at some of New Orleans' premier restaurants like K-Paul's, Brigtsen's and The Acme Oyster Co., I was fortunate to meet Lisa Brisch's fabulous husband, Jim, who is one of the nicest, easy~going and funny men around! (Sorry Lisa ~ but I don't have to LIVE with him, so he seemed just about perfect to me...)

It had been two years since I'd seen KB Lisa and had never met Jim ~ but I certainly hope it's not another two years until I see them again!

And, finally, to bring you up to date... the bottling process has finally begun!

Yeah, yeah, I know! I've been saying for several years that I was going to work on bottling a couple of products. But after meeting some vendors at the FFS in June, as well as tasting many new products (that I humbly believe aren't as good as mine are) the process has begun!

I'm working on several Gourmet Spreads ~ they can be used as a sandwich spread, salad dressing or a veggie dip. The first batch of samples were given out last week and here are a few of the initial comments:

Holy Jesus! I just wanted to eat it by the spoonful right out of the jar!

I had to hide this from my husband because he almost ate the entire jar by himself!

This is so amazing! When can I start stocking it here?

The flavors that my tasting panel will have to endure in the next couple of weeks:

Roquefort Sherry

Basil Parmesan

Asiago Cracked Peppercorn

Mediterranean (Feta and fenugreek).

My hope is to have two flavors on store shelves before the end of the year ~ not sure which two flavors yet, but everyone seemed to love the Roquefort Sherry.

OK, so now you're all up to date and you can quit "reminding" me that I haven't written a blog in a while, or mentioning to sweet husband to tell me it's time to write a blog!

There's a lot of fun and exciting things coming up in the next few months ~ events and parties planned every weekend in September and most of October, my BIRTHDAY (hint, hint), a radio remote with my sweet friend Queen Janeen at Meijer and, I sincerely hope, a VACATION in late October.

I promise to blog more ~ well, at least more than once every 10 weeks or so...

Chef Debbie Is NOT Hiring At The Moment!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:50:00 +0000

So I'm pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store ~ for the second time today. And a freaky young woman (late teens, early 20s) in a very short short skirt (cheeks are visible), muffin top, flippy flops and a mane of bleached blond, stringy, greasy unwashed hair walks right out in front of me.

I slam on the brakes, honk the horn (well, lay on it long and loud) and throw my arms up in the air.

She gave me the finger ~ and a very dirty look.

So I mutter a few of my favorite words under my breath, pull into my parking space, get out and walk around to the passenger side to get my eco~friendly bags, shopping list and the all~important Yummy debit card.

Same freaky woman is coming over to me. Uh oh! Does she have walker's rage? Is she going to spit on me? I was a little nervous but refused to get back in the Yummy~mobile and hide like a little girl. And, hiding in a big Ford Expedition wrapped in a large garlic clove with my name and logo all over it is, well, impossible.

I apologize for walking out in front of you. I was listening to my iPod and wasn't paying attention.

Uh, ok. It's just this is a very busy road and people typically aren't walking around out there.

Hey! I see you are a personal chef. I graduated from culinary school ~ I went to the CAA in New York ~ and am looking for a job. Are you hiring?

CAA?
Um, well, er, uh, the economy's so bad....

Yeah. I'm getting that a lot.
She blows a large bubble from the gum she's been chomping, pops it with her finger and uses her tongue to pull all the gum back into her mouth.

Well, good luck with the job search.

I'm heading into the store here to put in a job application. Do you know anyone in there? Can you give me a recommendation?

OK. It's seriously time to get out of here!
Gee, no, I'm sorry. I don't shop here a whole lot {fingers and toes crossed}, but good luck.

Off she goes, into the grocery store, with mini skirt, flippy flops, greasy hair and finger playing with her bubble gum.

Whew! She wasn't hired ~ but I did check with the store manager just to make sure.

So if you know of anyone who's looking for a female trying to stuff 20 pounds of flour into a 5 pound sack, with greasy bleached blond hair and who can chew gum and pop the largest bubbles with the best of them, I've got the gal for you!

Chef Debbie's Amazing Dinner at Radio Milano

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Thu, 07 May 2009 20:47:00 +0000

Do you Twitter? I started just a couple of months ago am finding it addictive.

If you're so inclined, you can follow me at ChefDebbieCPC. I Tweet about my blog, recipes, the cook day or anything else I can say in just 140 characters at a time.

I follow lots of foodie people around the world ~ restaurants, chefs, food writers, etc. and when I happened to mention a couple of weeks ago that sweet husband and I would be in Scottsdale this week, I received a Tweet from Radio Milano.

So sweet husband and I left our resort paradise to have dinner at Radio Milano ~ and, boy, are we glad we did!

My food photos didn't turn out very well ~ not sure if it was the second glass of wine or the lighting. The service from the instant we arrived (free valet parking) to immediately being greeted at the door to our super server, Les, was stellar.

The menu is small but packed full of interesting choices. Sweet husband started with the roasted red pepper soup followed by a beautiful, perfectly cooked piece of roasted halibut served over sautéed spinach. A generous splash of the grilled lemon accompaniment and sweet husband was very happy.

I'm never one to pass up an opportunity for pasta and I certainly wasn't disappointed. When I'm in a new restaurant, I always ask the server what his/her favorite entrée is and I'm rarely unhappy with the choice. Our server last night was Les and I can honestly say if he wasn't such a talented musician, he could make a bloody fortune as a server. Attentive, knowledgeable about the menu and not too bad on the eyes, his recommendation of the linguine and clams was spot on.

Baby clams ~ lots and lots of baby clams ~ were tossed with a perfect prepared al denté linguine and all tossed in a light white wine, olive oil, butter and garlic sauce. In many restaurants the white sauce is heavy but here all I wanted was 3~4 more loaves of bread to soak up the sauce. Sometimes I embarrass myself when I pick up the plate and lick it clean so I (occasionally) try to act dignified and use bread to finish the job.

Even though we shouldn't have, and really didn't need it, we finished our wonderful dinner with the radio chocolate pudding ~ a creamy confection of chocolate decadence topped with an espresso meringue. We fought over the last bite!

So thanks to my new foodie friends, Daniel (the general manager), Joe (Twitter expert extraordinaire) and Les, super server. It was a wonderful dinner and Tim and I can't wait to return and try an entire new array of delightful delicacies.

Chef Debbie's Spoiled Brat Vacation Update

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Wed, 06 May 2009 03:17:00 +0000

Spoiled brat is back, and back with a vengeance!

Whew! It's been a long time since spoiled brat has made an appearance and I was afraid she was gone for good...

This is the view from our balcony. The trees directly below us are full of hummingbirds and I love sitting outside in the afternoon visiting with Bacchus and watching the hummers zip by.

Yesterday we went to the Phoenix Botanical Garden and they are featuring an amazing Chihuly exhibit spaced all throughout the catci. His work has been carefully placed to enhance the natural beauty, grace and color of the surroundings.

I took 200+ photos of the catci, flowers and butterflies.

Here's one of the Chihuly glass exhibits and it's over 30' tall. Unbelievable! I'm can't imagine how they shipped some of these pieces. I can barely get a dozen wine glasses from point A to point B without breaking some!

So sweet husband and I just got back from dinner at Meritage Steak House. We skipped lunch so we could eat there and we still couldn't finish our entrées.

Dinner was prix fixes with soup, salad or cheese course, main entrée with starch and roasted asparagus and a choice of 7~layer chocolate cake or crème brûlée.

I had the smoked prime rib (every bit of 14oz which I couldn't even begin to finish) and it came with the most sinful sour cream~blue cheese~horseradish cream, garlic mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus. Maple crème brûlée to finish dinner ~ cuz you just have to have something sweet at the end of a meal.

Tomorrow is another day in paradise. Up around 6:00 a.m.

Funny how I don't complain about getting up here at 6:00 a.m. to walk for 60 minutes while at home getting up that early going to work is, well, just work!

So tomorrow morning. Walk 60 minutes. Chef prepared breakfast. Pool for a couple of hours. Shade for weenie red head Debbie. Downtown Scottsdale for lunch and pop into a few shops. Back to the hotel to clean up and dinner at Radio Milano here in Phoenix.

Just another day in paradise.

Chef Debbie's Easter Hodgepodge Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 16:45:00 +0000

Today's blog is full of chatty little blurbs.

This is finally the last weekend of tax season.

Sweet husband, Tim, has been working 7 days a week since mid~February and it'll be nice to see him for more than about 10 minutes a day before he falls into bed.

Yesterday, I drove over to Indiana to meet my dear foodie friend and personal chef extraordinaire, Liz Geeslin, of In Good Taste Personal Chef Service in Lebanon, IN.

We met in Shelbyville for lunch at a bookstore~cafe called Three Sisters Books & Gifts located in the public square circle.

It's a darling place ~ not a frilly, foufou place ~ that is actually owned by three sisters. They specialize in panini sandwiches and homemade desserts ~ I had the cherry~chocolate cake which was light and fluffy and oh, so good! If you're ever in the area, it's well worth slogging through the road construction to stop in for coffee and dessert.

The weather is finally going to be nice for the weekend ~ but next week it's going to rain almost every day! If you're boiling eggs to hide for the kiddies on Easter morning, boil a few more and try this client favorite:

Deviled Egg Salad with Dill
Makes 12 servings

Ingredients
12 large eggs
2T shallot, finely minced
1/4c mayonnaise
1/4c sour cream
1T Dijon mustard
2T flat leaf parsley, chopped
3T fresh dill, chopped
2T chives, chopped
kosher salt and cracked black pepper, to taste

Place eggs in single layer in large Dutch oven. Add enough cold water just to cover the eggs. Bring to a rapid boil over high heat ~ water will have large rapidly breaking bubbles. Remove from heat, cover and let stand 14 minutes. Drain and run cold water over eggs until cool enough to handle. Drain and peel eggs.

Grate eggs using large hole side of box grater. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

I've had several clients over the last week asking what a personal chef has for a holiday dinner. Well. That's an interesting question for this time of year.

I'm making Marinated Baby Lamb Chops for my clients' Easter dinner but with sweet husband working all day, and the small fact that he's not a huge fan of lamb, we're going non~traditional for Easter dinner.

Yep. About as non~traditional as you can get. Ham & Beans with homemade jalapeno cornbread. And lots of chopped onion on the side. It is difficult, though, to find a proper wine to go with Ham & Beans!

If you like Lamb Chops, this is what my clients are having for Easter Dinner:

Marinated Baby Lamb Chops with Cucumber~Mint Relish
Serves 4

8 baby lamb chops
1/2c olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
2t dried rosemary, chopped
1/4c fresh mint leaves, chopped
1T lemon juice
1t salt

Relish:
2 large cucumbers, peeled, seeded, small diced
1T salt
1/4c onion, minced
1/4c red bell pepper, chopped
1/4c fresh mint leaves, chopped
1/4c rice wine vinegar
1 garlic clove, finely minced
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced

Prepare relish: Place diced cucumber in fine mesh sieve set over a bowl. Sprinkle with salt and let drain for 1 hour. Pat dry with paper towels and place in a clean bowl. Add remaining relish ingredients and toss to combine. Cover and refrigerate up to 6 hours. Stir well to serve.

Place lamb chops in large zip~lock bag. In small bowl, combine olive oil, garlic, rosemary, mint, lemon juice and salt. Pour marinade over lamb chops, seal and refrigerate up to 8 hours.

Preheat broiler. Place lamb chops on broiler pan and cook until medium~rare, approximately 2~3 minutes per side depending upon thickness of the chops. Remove from oven and serve with cucumber~relish.

Chef Debbie's Dumped Strawberry Muffins

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:40:00 +0000

I found myself with a plethora of strawberries and an extra hour on a Sunday.

As many of you know, I hate to bake. No. Let me clarify that. I HATE to bake.

There. That's better.

In the past, I've called myself a dump cook. I dump it in and cook it!

So when I found this recipe online, with just a few tweaks here and there, I was able to dump together these super~simple, delicious muffins.

Chef Debbie's Dumped Strawberry Muffins
Makes 16 muffins

Ingredients:
2 1/2c all~purpose flour
1c whole wheat flour
1c sugar
1t salt
1T + 1t baking powder
1t cinnamon
3c chopped strawberries, fresh or frozen
1/2c canola oil
1c milk
2 eggs
1/2c brown sugar
1t vanilla
zest of 1 lemon

If you're using frozen strawberries, allow them to thaw a little and then chop.

Preheat oven to 375 and line muffin tin with paper liners.

In large bowl combine flours, sugar, salt, baking powder and cinnamon. Stir together well.

Add chopped strawberries to flour mixture and toss well to coat all strawberries with flour.

In small bowl combine oil, milk, eggs, brown sugar, vanilla and lemon zest. Whisk together well. Pour wet mixture into flour mixture and stir until well blended.

Fill muffin cups almost to top. Bake 25~28 minutes or until the tops bounce back when touched and are golden brown. Remove from oven, cool 10 minutes. Remove from pans and cool on wire racks.

Chef Debbie's "Notes to Self"

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:41:00 +0000

I've got to quit answering my phone!

I know it's not April Fool's Day. Yet. Maybe I'm on an episode of Punk'd?

Yesterday's phone call:

Hi, this is Debbie.

Hi Debbie. I'm looking to hire a personal chef but have a very specific requirement.

No problem. I can handle your special dietary needs, medically restricted diets or picky children. Bring it on.

Note to self ~ NEVER say Bring it on again!

Well... we really don't have any special dietary requirements and the children will eat anything we put in front of them. No, this is more about our house rule.

Uh, OK. What is the house rule?

We never wear shoes in the house and we require everyone who enters to remove his shoes also.

Well, does the garage enter into the laundry room and/or kitchen so that I won't be walking on your carpet?

No, you don't understand. We do not allow shoes anywhere in the house.

Dead silence on my end.

Hello? Are you there?

OK. Let me get this straight. You want me to schlep in heavy boxes of equipment, work on a hard kitchen floor all day without any type of foot support and, let's not forget, work with razor sharp knives that I could drop onto MY unprotected feet and toes or carry heavy pots of boiling water that I could easily spill when I slip on something because I don't have my non~skid shoes on? That type of "we don't allow shoes anywhere in the house" rule?

Yes.

What I said: I'm sorry but I'm not the personal chef you're looking for. Good luck, though. I hope there's someone out there who can help you.

What I wanted to say: Have they let all the kooks out of Kookville today? Are you freaking nuts? How much insurance do you have because when I drop my chef's knife and chop off a few of MY toes, I intend to develop a very intimate relationship with your insurance adjuster!

Kooks in Kookville. That's a good one ~ I gotta remember that one!

Note to self ~DO NOT answer the phone on April Fool's Day!

I need another martini!

Chef Debbie is in Your Face!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 19:50:00 +0000

You can't open the paper, drive down the highway or go to the grocery store without seeing my smiling face everywhere you look!

I received a phone call from Queen Janeen, the queenly half of the WGRR Married With Microphones morning team.

Seems that she saw one of the billboards while driving down to work one morning.

And, at 4:30 in the a.m., seeing my face 15' tall in 4~color with that screaming yellow background, well it's amazing there haven't been a few multi~car pileups!

If it were just a few billboards all over town, then you'd be able to avoid me.

But nooooo. In fact, everywhere you look, I'm right there looking back atcha!

In the front section of the Sunday Enquirer, in all that yellow 4~color glory. In the Door Store. Online on the bigg's website. In the store ads.

Is this my 15 minutes of fame? I'm ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille.

Chef Debbie Says Urrrgh!

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy~issimo!) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:15:00 +0000

What is it with people these days!

Do I have a sign on my forehead that proclaims "Yes! I LOVE spending hours planning your party so you can give my menu to your friend who's a fabulous cook."

This has happened twice in the last couple of weeks ~ and I'm not happy about it. In fact, I'm downright PO'd.

The first one was a small dinner party for 20. Black tie servers, beef tenderloin, scallops gratin, appetizers and the rest of the goodies.

Her phone call..

Uh Debbie? I have a friend who's a "fabulous cook" and said she could do my dinner with your menu for only $30 per person. You've quoted me a lot more and I wonder if you could match her price.

Yeah right. If I bought ground round at Costco and told you it was tenderloin. And used cheese in a can. And finished off the rest of the dinner with samples from McDonalds, Taco Bell and made snow ice cream.

I'm sorry if I gave you the impression my price is negotiable. I've spent years perfecting my trade and can guarantee that your meal would be of the quality of one of Cincinnati's finest dining establishments.
I also have a $1million liability insurance policy in the very small chance that I'd break something in your home or that one of your guests would become ill from something I cooked. If you have a price of $30 per person for my menu, then you should go with your friend.
I highly suggest you ask if she has liability insurance ~ just in case.

Urrrgh!

About that same time, I received a phone call from a local organization who needed a very large, black tie, super elegant event. Servers, valet service, sous chefs, you name it. I was going to need about 20 people, not including the valet service. And elegant, gourmet, sophisticated, eye~popping food and decor for 175.

So I put together a killer menu. More than 20 passed canapes, raw seafood bar, dessert and chocolate fondue bar, sushi bar, blini bar, and don't forget the cocktail bar.

They loved the menu. And. Then. Nothing.

Until the phone call.

Hi. This is Debbie.

Hi Deb. I'm calling about the event.
I could probably lose my job over this but I felt you needed to know what was going on here.

Uh oh. That's never good when somebody starts the conversation with I could lose my job over this, but...

OK. Tell me. Did you change the date, decide to change the menu, what?

No, we love the menu. I mean we really LOVE the menu. But my boss has a friend who...

Here it comes. I know what's going to fall out of her mouth now.

...is a caterer and said she'd take your menu and beat your quote by 15% automatically.

Visions of my good 12" chef's knife sticking out of the caterer's back dance through my head. Oh wait. The caterer wouldn't know what my menu was unless somebody gave it to her.

Thank you so much for calling ~ I know it must have been a difficult decision for you but I truly appreciate it. I have spent over 8 hours pricing this out already and could have easily spent another day or more working on it. Not to mention the time it takes my vendors to give me their prices.

So what would you have done? Sweet devious husband said I should give a quote of around $2000 for the entire event. And then back out.

While I would never never never do anything like that, I must admit that in the far back reaches of my once~in~a~while mean streak, that did sound like good fun!

But. I've decided, the old idiom is true. What goes around, comes around.

I just hope I'm around to see it!