~HavenHoopDance

The All Powerful Community Hoop Mingle

2013-07-30T12:07:00.000-04:00

Throughout time, communal dance has played an integral part in the growth of culture and society. According to Joan Cass, author of Dancing Through History">Dancing Through History, “Dance is a feature of every significant occasion and event crucial to tribal existence as part of ritual. The first thing to emphasize is that early dance exists as a ritual element. It does not stand alone as a separate activity or profession.” Think about it. Before dance was a profession or even a solitary pursuit, it existed as a means of communication, ritual, and cultural expression. So it’s no wonder that when we hoopers commune to dance together, we participate in a powerful and ancient tradition.

This comes to mind for me today because I have been bird watching, of all things. Spring and Summer reluctantly arrived in Michigan this year, pushing the cold dreariness of our long winter to the wayside, allowing the glory of rebirth to break through. My boys and I planted our first garden and they spend their afternoons checking with anxious excitement as the energy of these warm months push the tiny new plants through the topsoil. And, for my part, I have taken to watching the birds swimming and flying over the lake. It is their energy that fascinates me. The birds I covet mingle and share an energy that is mutual and interactive.

The two birds that have garnered my apt attention are a pair of elegant white swans. They appeared in early Spring and early on visited the lake every day. I marvel at their movements in the water and how they mirror each other. It is a dance. Two long, milky figures moving in a what seems a choreographed dance across the water. Swans generally mate for life, so it is no wonder that these two seemed to know the intricacies of the other, intuitively swimming in harmony. As with most things, I found my mind wandering back to hooping, drawing the similarities hoop dance can elicit in just the right circumstances.

It led me to reflect upon why the hooping community at large is so inspiring to me. Local hoop communities throughout the world take time to foster and grow their tribes. Those who cherish participating in them know how worthwhile it is to go through the steps of community development. Much like the swans I’ve been admiring, hoop communities not only dance in and out of relationships with each other, but quite literally dance WITH one other.

It’s not surprising, really. Given that the each hooper creates her own dance and energy, every hoop jam, every time is a different and new creation. Each one brings something new, invigorating, and

powerful to everyone there. Like the swans, when I hoop with others, I like to do so silently. I put myself out there and hold space for others. Others like to spend time sharing skills or catching up on the week’s events while they hoop. Often a silent impromptu mingle occurs among attendees, encouraging non-verbal communication but with clear and intentional physical interaction. “Mingles” – where we find ourselves mirroring one another, or hooping in couples or as groups – are often lighthearted. Other times, they reveal a deeper, more unexpected route to connecting with those hooping around you.

Perhaps this desire to be with others in the hoop has helped spur the multitude of hoop events around the globe as well. Of course the amazing instruction given at each happening is a great pull for attendees. But when I think about the intense longing I feel to hoop with others at an event, or the melancholy I feel when I must leave them, I mostly crave the connection I get with other people who share my passion.

The spirit of hoop gatherings is such a natural conduit for interludes of magical, impromptu hoop jams. Let me share an example. Recently I taught at Peace Love and Hoopiness in Nashville, Indiana, USA. My first class was after lunch and it was STEAMY outside. I was not sure how people were realistically going to make it through the hour-long class in that kind of heat. But then within minutes, the sky turned stormy, the temperature dropped, and the rain began to fall. Suddenly hoopers started filing in from everywhere and my class seemed to double, maybe even triple in size. And we all danced our hearts out in the rain. I gave instruction through my microphone, but sometimes wondered if it was even necessary. We seemed to all be sharing the communal pulse and reveling in the cleansing downpour. There was a language being spoken there. But no one was speaking. The surprise shower released a language of joy and freedom of movement that had previously been suppressed by the unrelenting heat.

Quite recently only one swan has returned to the lake on my property. It swims for short times, still relentlessly beautiful, but somehow it saddens me. Perhaps it’s because it swims for such small increments, or because I miss the intricate dance it had with its partner. I wonder what its story is now.

This is not to say that we as dancers, as hoopers, should not spend time alone in the hoop. Of course we should! Many of us are solitary hoopers, after all, and each of us needs alone time to hone our skills in practice. However, the importance of our time together in the spin shouldn’t be overlooked or undervalued. According to James Hurd Nixon, “In ancient times and in traditional cultures, dance has functioned as the means by which people gathered and unified themselves in order to confront the challenges of their existence.” Dance has always existed as a uniting force, and it’s no different today. So my dear friends and hoopers, make sure you attend a hoop jam or event this Summer. Tune into those around you, engage in ritual dance, and feel the beating of our communal pulse just beneath your toes.

Are You A Hooping Super Hero?

2013-03-13T22:25:00.001-04:00

You’ve probably heard the expression “kid’s say the darndest things”, coined and mainstreamed by hula hoop entrepreneur Art Linkletter and further popularized by Bill Cosby on his TV show of the same name? Well, it is no exception at my house.

Take this recent conversation on our car ride to school for example. The boys were talking about super heroes and decided that my oldest would be Ironman, my youngest would be The Incredible Hulk and that I would be a Super Hooper (and they weren’t referring to Lara and Droo). I was surprised that they had included me in their fabulous club of world saving crusaders, but I was even more curious as to what they considered to be my super powers. To them it was obvious – I would create tornado force winds with my hoop and tunnels while spinning that would knock villains off their feet and into another dimension. Not only that, but I also had Ninja skills with my hoops that could defeat any foe. I was floored by their well thought out plans for me in their mission to save the world. The conversation later transitioned into a great teaching moment for them, and everyone, to explore how we could all be super heroes through our actions. And as we talked more about what qualities a super hero exhibits, I began to see that all over the planet we hoopers are indeed saving the world!

One thing I love hoopers for is their ability to gift hoops generously. I can’t count how many times I have seen someone just hand over a hoop to a newbie, a friend, or a child, just because they knew how much joy that plastic circle would bring. And let’s not forget about the annual and largest hoop give-a-away to date, World Hoop Day. Talk about Super Heroes!! The picture engrained in my mind is of the children in Gaza holding their handmade hoops high with smiles wide. Gifting hula hoops changes lives.

Hoopers across the globe have instinctively formed communities to share skills, have jams, and sometimes form deeper relationships. It’s not only the individuals who have the leadership and perseverance to start these groups who are the champions in my book, but those who welcome new members. Coming to a jam of an established hooping community can be intimidating. Just one hooper introducing themselves and showing someone the ropes can make all the difference in the world. Communities of all kinds are vital to our planet and as M. Scott Peck, MD, an expert on community development, once said, “In and through community lies the salvation of the world.” Think you aren’t a hooper super hero? Think again!

If you pick up the newspaper and start reading, it doesn’t take long to see that there’s a lot of unhappiness in this world. Hooping, however, is a super hero portal bringing others out of the villainous dark world and back into their happy place. It’s no secret that hooping is fun. Heck – it is really hard not to smile while hooping. The feeling of peace that can come from hooping is profound! If you’re helping others step inside a plastic circle, you’re changing the world! A regular hooping practice has even been reported to relieve depression and anxiety.

Today there is also an epidemic of obesity, even among children. If you’re getting people hooping you’re getting people exercising, reducing heart disease, battling diabetes and a myriad of other physical problems that are a major threat to our well-being. Everywhere we look we can see hoopers who have lost ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred pounds as a result of hooping it up regularly. These people in turn have inspired others to give it a spin. Thanks to hooping super heroes like you the world is also become a healthier place.

When you share hooping with someone or encourage a hooper to keep up with their regular practice, it can have a monumental effect upon their life. Perhaps you’ll never know the difference made, but let’s face it – a true Super Hero Hooper isn’t in it for the glory. Whether you change one life, many or simply your own – I can pretty much guarantee you are a Hooper Super Hero. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving the world and making it a better place to live in.

Hooping Communities, Conflict and Growth

2013-01-18T12:23:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh, the sweet bliss. You’ve discovered the pure joy of the plastic circle. The gentle rhythms as it sweeps around your body in meditative movement, all the while working out your body by doing something you enjoy! But then… hold on… you’ve discovered that there is even more. How could it get any better? You have found a few other local people who not only hoop, but want to share some hoop space together, regularly!

At first you gather informally to share the hoop love, take in some new moves, and in time learn more about one another. The circle gradually becomes larger though as others see you hooping and want some of the natural joy that you have found. Now you’re having regular Hoop Jams and maybe even a Facebook page for your hoop group. You can feel a cohesiveness happening. The connections feel deep, meaningful and true. This group truly understands a part of you that others just don’t! They grasp the hooper in you, which is now becoming a defining factor in how you see yourself. You’ve found a place where you all belong.

With the passage of time, however, some members may come and go. While the core group remains solid, at some point in this process the language starts to change. And then one day it happens.

What is “it”? Well, that I can’t tell you because it is different for every hoop community. It might start out as simple as minor bickering over music played at the weekly hoop jam and grow into more than that. Or, a newer member within the community decides they want to start a business or begin teaching or creating a community of their own. Or, crash, two leaders within the tribe have a major falling out, leaving everyone else wondering where to pick up the pieces without getting glass in their hands. While it’s inevitable that conflict will come because we are human and it seems to be in our nature, often this change in our community is misperceived. What some might view as a problem is often an unavoidable growing pain. In communities “it” is the first stage of community growth.

Twenty years ago when I read M. Scott Peck’s book “The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace”, the first line in the Introduction had me sold. “In and through community lies the salvation of the world.” Big stuff right? Peck spells out four stages of community growth, while other experts (generally stemming from Peck’s original work) tend to spread them into five. Let’s see how they all work together.

Stage One: Pseudocommunity/The Waiting Place The group has reached the end of it’s blissed out stage, but people aren’t quite ready to tell each other what’s what either. There may even be a feeling that things aren’t quite right, but members can’t readily put their finger on what the issue is yet. Matters that were once clear now seem muddied. People are often looking for someone to make the decisions for them. Divisiveness can be high. The big dynamic keeping this stage alive is conflict avoidance. Individual differences start to surface also stirring the pot. Once these differences are not just acknowledged, but encouraged, then the group will naturally move into the next stage. We are reminded often that, a true community is conflict-resolving, not avoiding.

Stage Two: Chaos As chaos enters frustrations, annoyance and differences are finally being vented. It becomes literally chaotic as people try to heal and persuade through their own personal experiences. It’s the classic, “Well that happened to me one time and this is what worked…”, only hearing it from each person with equal fierce conviction that their way is THE way tends to only make things worse. Once the negative emotions flood and eventually fall away, the differences can be better sorted out. There is no more facade that things are “perfect” as in stage one. Guards are let down, people can see the real you, deep into your beautiful dirty, roots. And that is where the healthy growth truly begins.

Stage Three: Emptiness This is probably the most difficult step in building community. In order to leave and rise above all that is Chaos, members must be willing to look at themselves deeply and leave behind that which prevents real communication. Biases, prejudices, the need for power and control, ego, the need for self-validation, superiority, all the major hang-ups that we have in life need to be discarded in order to embrace empathy, openness to vulnerability, attention, and deep trust. This does not mean that we do not have an opinion or share it. But when we do, we do it with thought and regard for others in the group. Our opinions are well thought out and versed, rather than just thrown in on a whim of emotion. This step is not only a step of transcendence for the community, but a huge place of self-growth for the individual.

Stage Four: True Community I’ll repeat here what I said in the first stage: A true community is conflict-resolving, not conflict avoiding. Being a true community does not mean it’s all wine and roses from here on out. What it does mean is that all the hard work you’ve put in getting here makes it worth that much more. Through learning how to trust, communicate openly and authentically, express empathy, and let go of hinderances people are more able to relate to each other. There is understanding where there was once just difference. When communications get heated (and they will), they don’t turn sour, motives aren’t questioned, they are just worked thorough in time.

Hooping can just be hooping. It does not have to include a group or a community. Hey, some of us like to hoop alone and there is nothing wrong with some solitude! For many hoopers out there, however, hooping is also a place that community naturally falls into place. It can be reassuring to know that hoop community growing pains are just part of the process, and rather than getting too caught up in them, to remind ourselves of what we can do. We can love ourselves and love our community even through its awkward stage. We can be authentically ourselves and share our truth while empathically loving those around us. We can step up to the plate and be a part of the solution, rather than the problem. And we can keep right on spinning.

Hooping Through Life

2012-11-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

If you’re anything like me your mind is a virtual hooping vortex sometimes, constantly spinning all things into a hooping metaphor, example, or way of being. I can be in the most mundane setting and find a way to turn my thoughts about the situation into a hooping scenario. Do you find driving boring or a space full of endless frustration? My alone time in the car is inevitably spent becoming fully immersed in the music playing through my iPod and imagining myself hooping to the rhythms. I literally feel my adrenal rush as the music changes, knowing how I would fly my arms and hands during that moment in the song, feeling my legs want to bend and groove with each beat, all the while fully engaged with my ever spinning dance partner. And then whoosh, the song ends. Where there once was just a deep love of music, now is an enhanced, deeper fuller appreciation of movement, of dance, even if it is sometimes just in my mind. Are you hooping your way through life as well? One friend says she does the same thing. Another thinks I've fallen off the proverbial "hoop" rocker. Just wait until I tell you more.

Now my hoop roots are grounded deeply in the HoopPath, a teaching model created by Jonathan Baxter using mythological methodology to teach skills such as Touch or Samurai style hooping. While Baxter's myths stay close to my heart, the method of hooping comes out in, well, odd ways at times. For example, I’m out shopping - a task I abhor. Sometimes I imagine myself as a Warrior Hooper in the store, fiercely battling my way through the isles, dodging carts, hopping with magnificence across cans or clothes that have fallen in my path, my hoop always my partner in an epic war to get out quickly, with thrift, all the while maintaining quality. Despite the looks from other customers, it gets me through and I really think I am a better hooper for it.

Still don't believe me? Last summer while I trained for my second triathlon, hooping was still on my brain even as I moved through each sequence of events. While running I often found my arms inadvertently practicing breaks, paddles and reverses with an imaginary hoop. I'm sure I looked more like a dancer than a biker during my rides, and as a life long swimmer, the refuge in the water also became a place to find circles in each movement that I made.

In my every day life (aka, the most important part) I am a single mother of two energetic, astounding boys. Their creativity and thirst for life inspires me. At our last dwelling we had regular "dance parties" in the evenings, usually including hoops. The dancing was always a source of never ending laughter as we would attempt to see which of us could be the absolute silliest, causing belly flops and chortling from the others. Hooping was a lesson in patience, humor, fine and gross motor skills, and ultimately fun.

While we are now in a new setting, the antics continue, the form has just varied. My love for hooping and dance influences how I move around the house and interact with it and with them. Yesterday my youngest son, still in preschool, began telling a story in a whacky voice and my body moved wildly to his intonation. In my mind, I was flying my hands and dipping my legs as if in my hoop. To them I just was being their crazy mom. To all of us, it was hysterical fun. Whether we all know it or not my hooping bonds us in so many ways.

Yet it is even more deep-seated than simple musings in the car, wild dashings through a store or the beloved time with my children. What hooping has taught me, and what I still have to learn in its spinning lull, relate to most of my core beliefs about life. The hoop itself provides a natural physical boundary. It represents safety in the world. When I hoop, my thoughts, my dance, create a sacred space for me within that boundary. Represented in the hoop is wholeness, unity, a place to step in and begin to look for peace, internal and external. In my conversations with those not in the flow know I find myself holding back sometimes in conversation, from commenting in ways like, "Yes, the presidential election is just like hooping..." I know they will not always understand while my clothing choices alone usually let people know that I am a bit different from the mainstream. They know this without my going off on a philosophical tangent on the sacredness of circles.

For me hooping is engrained in almost every aspect of my life. Even when I am not in an active practice, hooping is actively in my life. Since my journey in the spin my hooping passion has helped me think outside the box, making every day life more interesting, making learning easier and making my teaching more efficient. It may not be normal for the rest of the world, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gabrielle Roth: A Hoop Dance Tribute

2012-11-04T21:05:00.003-05:00

Time after time we read incredible stories, hear personal anecdotes, and have possibly even experienced our own healing and transformation inside the magic circle that is our hoop. Let's be honest though, dear hoopers. We haven't entirely discovered something new. When it comes to the healing power of movement and dance we've actually discovered something very, very old. Last week the world lost Gabrielle Roth, one of the great leaders in meditative dance and healing through movement. Following a battle with lung cancer, the world lost the founder of the 5Rhythms dance movement, an amazing spirit, an incredible pioneer that not only touched my life personally, but whose beliefs, ideas and practices have parallelled the recoveries and discoveries in our hooping lives long before the modern hooping movement began. Who was Gabrielle Roth? What are the 5Rhythms and how can they play a role in our hoop dance healing? What were some of the contributions she made to the world that I will continue to think about for years to come? Let me tell you what I know.

In the 1960's, Roth created a way of finding consciousness through dance. According to her, "Physical movement is key to unlocking the spirit." Perhaps this is one of the reasons many hoopers find such a deep connection to Roth and her philosophies. As hoopers we often talk about "hoop bliss", freedom through our movement, getting lost inside of our hoops, and other occurrences within our dance that are often seen as spiritual, meditative and/or healing. Roth found these experiences years before our still relatively new wave of hoop dance had manifested. And more than that, Roth invited us to look even further back, that we needed to defer to our feet and move back to our roots. In the mind of Roth, these roots are made of light that connect us to 75,000 years of ecstatic dance tradition, to all who have danced to transport themselves out of their heads and into the wilderness of their own psyches, to experience in poetic patterns the shape and wonder of their souls. Though she was the founder of Ecstatic Dance and of the 5Rhythms dance movement, Roth generally spoke of dance less specifically when speaking of the power it holds.
5Rhythms is a movement meditation practice Roth devised that she drew from indigenous and world traditions using tenets of shamanistic, ecstatic, mystical and eastern philosophy. The practice also draws from Gestalt therapy, the human potential movement and transpersonal psychology as well. Fundamental to the practice is the idea that everything is energy, and that energy moves in waves, patterns and rhythms. Roth described it as a soul journey, saying that by moving the body, releasing the heart, and freeing the mind, one can connect to the essence of the soul, the source of inspiration in which an individual has unlimited possibility and potential.

5Rhythms allows the participant to become deeply engaged in their own path, to find their own way in movement. And while teachers of 5Rhythms participate in a long training process, well over 300 hours, in order to teach others to find their own flow through the Rhythms - Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness - one can not help but think of hooping teachers and community members who consistently reiterate the idea that each dancer has their own flow and expression within the hoop. So many of Roth's ideas translate fluently into the world of hoop dance. Hoopers lucky enough to have experience in 5Rhythms or ecstatic dance will also tell you that it opened up their hooping, often in the most glorious ways.

Gabrielle Roth once said, "Dance is the fastest, most direct route to the truth -- not some big truth that belongs to everybody, but the get down and personal kind, the what's-happening-in-me-right-now kind of truth. We dance to reclaim our brilliant ability to disappear in something bigger, something safe, a space without a critic or a judge or an analyst." Wow, did you hear that? I mean really, say it out loud to yourself several times. Her words and philosophy on the power of dance have influenced me deeply. Understanding that my own experience in the hoop is validated by an elder with profound knowledge and understanding of movement, healing and meditation has helped create a safe space for me to explore my own truth within my spin.

The loss of Gabrielle Roth is profound. Roth worked at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies. She also founded an experimental theatre company in New York, wrote three books, created over twenty albums of trance dance music with her band The Mirrors (on iTunes), and directed or has been the subject of ten videos. I know we all are incredibly grateful for all that she brought to the world, to dance, to movement meditation, to healing through movement and ultimately to helping us better understand the healing power of the hoop in our own lives. Rest in Peace Gabrielle and thank you for having been here.

Composer and musician Nicholas Caputo plays piano while Erin Sparrow hoops in this beautiful tribute to Gabrielle Roth.

Weaving the Hooping Community's Mutual Tapestry and Harnessing its Power

2012-09-26T21:02:00.001-04:00

Last week a hooping friend on FaceBook contacted me out of the blue and gifted me a piece of her handcrafted jewelry. She explained this great kindness in a message, “So I decided to GIVE to (you) my hoop community (and being a teacher is Hard work).....funny how that changes it all up and makes the energy MOVE! Enjoy. I am wishing you happiness and hope to see you sometime in 3D.” Her act of selflessly giving left me contemplating the numerous times I have been assisted by my local tribe or the greater hooping community and the many stories over the years of hoopers helping our own. I began wondering how hooping has individually affected us to create a community where support exists between people whom have often never even met and may even live thousands of miles apart?

Perhaps you are asking yourself, "What are these great acts of kindness of which you speak?" Well, they are certainly countless and widespread. Throughout my ten years inside the hoop I have witnessed people donating money to other hoopers to help pay doctor bills, to send someone to the dentist, to cover utility and home repairs, really the list is endless. I have seen a hooper's family lose their house in a fire and a community stand up and help them through it. I've watched people lose loved ones and receive support that is unimaginable. We have not only helped hooping teachers, entrepreneurs, performers and many others see their dreams become reality as they began making a hoop career, we have also seen the gifting of a hoop, teaching someone a new skill, reaching out to a hooper who may be shy or just needs a boost of morale, all for fun and for free. All of these acts are important for a community that cares about one another on more than just a surface level.

Here’s the thing about hooping, for many of us when we first pick up a hoop we don’t really know what we’ve gotten ourselves into. Sure our friend tells us it’s better than ice cream on a hot day, but we're thinking, "Hello, this is just a piece of plastic! How transformational can it be?" Then we find ourselves wanting to do it more and more and more. We notice that we are becoming more balanced in our lives, which leads us to feel empowered and strong. We start making sure that the clothes we buy are hoopable. We spin our way to finding friends locally, regionally and beyond who share our bliss and can relate to what we are experiencing. Often these people become our “tribe”, our community our support system. The inner change that we feel and have cultivated has a greater energy and power to manifest itself into larger local and even global change.

I live in reality, but the deepest part of me does not want to give up that child-like dream of utopia. We are a very diverse community, made up of people from all backgrounds from all over the world, and yet we all share is this one common love, a circle spinning around our bodies, our hearts, our lives. How strange that this draws us all into a communal bond. I am friends virtually and physically with people across the world that I would have never encountered otherwise. We have real interactions and deep relationships have formed, simply because of the hoop. What if we harnessed the positivity created by the hoop, by hooping, by the hoop community far and wide. What if we collectively gathered all the support seen over the years, the friendships and communal energy we've all created and are creating. Couldn’t we change the world through our example? Or perhaps we already are. Perhaps in lifting the spirits of each of us inside our circles and sharing that with those we reach we reach in our communities and online, we continue to weave a fabric that is brighter, more colorful and stronger than the tapestry at hand. By sharing our hoop love and letting it shine we are truly making this world a better place.
If you can not view the video above, please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to view the post in its entirety.

2012-08-09T08:50:00.001-04:00

St. Francis of Assissi once said, "All the darkness in the world can not extinguish the light of a single candle. Soundtrack: "Song to the Siren" by This Mortal Coil (on iTunes).

2012-08-09T08:40:00.002-04:00

Kaydi McMahan dances beautifully with her hoop to Adele's "Turning Tables" (available on iTunes). She lives in North Liberty, Indiana, USA.

Hoop Gathering Afterglow and the Melancholy Monday

2012-08-09T08:32:00.001-04:00

RE-ENTRY CAN FEEL LIKE A SPIRAL IN SPACE

Just a couple of weeks ago, I found myself immersed in the HoopPath: Open Air stop in Detroit. I had anticipated it for months and was ready to dive in with my fellow hoopers when it was time for the workshops to begin. Over the course of the weekend, a bond began to form between the community in attendance. We were all sweaty and we ached together, ate some meals together, laughed and even cried together. Sunday night came and my cup was so full. There is nothing better for me than to truly immerse myself inside the hoop with people who understand and support not only my love for this magic circle, but support me being the very best me that I can be. Driving home I was basking in the afterglow of a weekend so well spent.

Then Monday hit, what we had been warned about. Yes, the “Melancholy Monday” syndrome had arrived – the less than magic time when the realities of real life return. Where are all my hooping pals? You recognize you are no longer in a hooper heaven setting and the non-hoopers you encounter on a daily basis have little idea how this experience could be so idyllic. They stare at you blankly as you share your joy which only seems to make it worse. As hoopers we are in the midst of gathering season and whether you’re coming home from Return to Roots or landing after Spark Fire and Flow Retreat or any of a myriad of festivals that have occurred lately. Maybe you are preparing for Circumference, Hoopcamp, Burning Man or another late summer or fall gathering. Or perhaps you aren’t going to a festival, but have or will be taking a weekend long intensive hoop workshop, like I just did. No matter what situation you find yourself in, you will most likely encounter your very own afterglow and your own Melancholy Monday of sorts. How can we best re-integrate into our daily lives after spinning up so much awesomeness? Here are six simple tips to help you land again smoothly upon your re-entry.

1. Allow time to process. One of the best ways to navigate your re-entry experience is to talk to others who also attended the event or may have insight because of past attendance at these type of gatherings. Share your experiences! Take time to journal, hoop, meditate, or just allow yourself some plain old solitude, taking the time you need to process. How do you know if it is helping? You will feel better after, not worse.

2. Pick up your hoop. You’ve surely learned a lot over the course of the event you’ve attended. Pick up that hoop and practice what you have learned. Don’t let all that knowledge go to waste. If you aren’t feeling it, then just love on your hoop and fall into a nice flow, allowing your hoop to embrace you as you bring those feelings of joy created back into your life at home.

3. Drink Plenty of Water. Hydration is key to life. Your body is most likely exhausted and a “hooper hangover” is unpleasant. Fluids will prevent this. One of the best ways to nurture yourself is to drink water, and a lot of it. Even if you stayed well-hydrated throughout the event, continue this hydration after you return home as your muscles and body continue the healing process. You’ve probably hooped more than you normally do and possibly ever have. Drink up. Your body will thank you for it.

4. Get Plenty of Rest. Go to bed earlier than usual if possible. Your body is your temple, allow it to be healthy, rested and restored. You have most likely put more physical and emotional (yes, even positive emotional) stress on it than it has seen in awhile. Give yourself an extra hour of sleep or a delicious nap whenever you can squeeze it in. Again, remember your body needs time to rebuild and restore itself, physically and emotionally.

5. Stay connected. Most of us are on Facebook and Hooping.org. Stay connected with the new friends you’ve just made. Take time to watch the videos from the weekend, look at the pictures that are being posted, post your own and bask in the memories created. It really helps to ease the transition back into your daily life.

6.Plan your next event. Knowing that you have something else up your sleeve, even if is months away, can help take the edge off. It doesn’t have to be a full blown hoop gathering either. Perhaps it is just a road trip to meet a new friend that you connected with at this past event, or a trip to a city an hour away to learn from that teacher you’ve been hearing about. If you are able to dream up something big or small it can really help give you some excitement for the future.

Leaving a festival or any hooping event can be a big transition and self care afterwards is warranted and necessary. These are just a few guidelines to help and we would love to hear your comments and ideas that have worked for you in your transitions from hoop gatherings back to everyday life. It remains thrilling for me each time I attend a hoop gathering, whether it be as an organizer, teacher, or attendee and no matter how many times I attend a hoop event, I always seem to walk away with my mind blown. We are so lucky to be a part of such an incredible community.

Hooping and Living in Both Currents

2012-07-25T21:52:00.001-04:00

In our daily lives it's pretty easy to simply follow the routine we usually maintain, keeping the natural order of things. We go to the same Italian restaurant we already know is pretty good and often order the same thing. We drive home via the same route we usually do, but what if we decided to change directions? Have you ever wondered what the point is of learning to hoop in both directions, or as some say - both currents? Your flow with the hoop in a particular direction came naturally to you when you first picked up a hoop. Learning new tricks in that direction comes quicker, transitions are easier. But what if becoming proficient in your second or non-dominant current could make you a better hooper? Or even a better person for that matter? What happens if we change the current?

Many of us often gripe about or just don't feel like hooping in both directions when we spin. Some think it is too hard, unimportant, or doesn't fit in with their flow. But like learning any new skill, hooping in the opposite direction, especially if you haven't trained that way from your hoop infancy, can be a challenge. We often have to hoop faster to keep it spinning, pick it up a lot due to drops, and feel the frustration we did when we initially started our hoop journey all over again. So why would we want to do that again? Because, if our mindset is right, we can go into the learning process with the same joy, anticipation, and wonderment we experienced initially and we can fall in love with hooping all over again.

Hooping in both currents can in fact provide benefits to your body. In order to maintain a healthy balance physically, it is important to work both sides of your body. Take yoga, for example, a practice which, like hooping, incorporates mind, body and spirit. Yoga poses are practiced on both sides of the body to maintain balance and equilibrium within the person as a whole. As Yoga Journal explains, “Usually a student is stiffer on one side than another, and staying for an equal length of time on both sides does not balance the student. Instruct the student to stay a couple of extra breaths on the side on which they are stiffer and their body will slowly move back into balance. Though we may be comfortable in imbalance (which we often perceive as balance), we cannot grow in such a state.” Likewise threads from Hooping.org have addressed both personal and professional experiences with the benefits of current changes while hooping. As one Structural Integration Practitioner put it, “I would highly encourage you to spin both directions if you care at all about your body alignment. I have seen hoopers that only spin one way with back and hip problems originating from a twist in their spine.”

So maybe your convinced, perhaps begrudgingly, that it is time to work that second current. But how can it help your life? Well, let me tell you a story. It's several years ago on a Monday evening and a group of us are circled up in our hoops signifying that our class is about to begin. The circle is open for anyone to share something pertinent that may have happened throughout the week. A regular student, particularly known for his wit and humor, begins to speak and I prepare myself for a funny anecdote. This is what I heard, "This has been a difficult week, and this morning I woke up and was in a horrible mood. After thinking about it for awhile I said to myself, 'Ya know what, I am going to change the current!' And I did and things have really shifted for me today." Up until that point, changing the current was something I only thought about inside the hoop, never in such a broader and profound way. Never really thinking about changing our "current", our present.

Changing the current in our daily lives amounts to looking at things from a new perspective. I liken it to placing a stone in a fast moving river. It diverges the water into two different paths, each moving towards the same place. One path may be full of muck or rockier than the other, while the other perhaps flows clearly with very few hinderances. One stick floats down the clear side, making it to the end point quickly, but didn't see or experience as much. Another stick in balance floats down this river, crossing over from one side to another numerous times before reaching the end point. Another stick finds itself stuck on the rocks or mud, having difficulty moving down the current.

We are not unlike a floating stick when choosing what current we will be in our daily lives, or our hooping life for that matter. When we are in the rougher water we may need to stay there awhile to learn the lessons needed, but at some point we can get stuck if we do not intentionally change the current and move to the other side. Likewise, if we always take the smooth ride down the river, do we really learn the lessons life has to offer? Moving between the currents offers a chance for both lessons and ease in our journeys.

In life, as in hooping, changing the current provides us with the balance that is essential for a healthier life. Current changes, both in life and in hooping, are not easy and do not come without loads of practice, but the benefits are immeasurable. I challenge you to pick up your hoop and spin in your non-dominant current for a song, or a hoop practice, or even just a few minutes each day. Build up a practice in your second current until you no can no long delineate between the two. In your daily life, break out of your comfort zone and spend some time listening rather than talking (or vice versa). Smile at the homeless person you pass by everyday and acknowledge they are there. Cross that proverbial river on a day that you are feeling stuck on the rough side and declare, "I am going to change the current!" Moving down the river of life, with time spent in each directional flow whether in your hoop or in your life, will help maintain a sense of balance, aiding you in reaching that place where the two currents converge.

Hooping as a Tool for Meditation

2012-07-10T20:50:00.002-04:00

Why do you hoop? For fun, fitness or as a way to release your mind from everyday worries that hinder you from staying in the present moment? There is no right answer to this question. Over the years I have found that at different times I have hooped for all of these reasons. In fact, sometimes all of them simultaneously. What keeps me coming back into the hoop, though, is the peace I encounter with each spin. For me it becomes a type of movement meditation unlike any I have experienced before. I become lost in cradle of the hoop’s touch as it rolls around my body. My mind sinks into a place where there are no thoughts but the present moment. I am in a state of mindfulness throughout the hoop session, and feel refreshed and calm when I am done. Sure I have frustrating times within the hoop, but when my goal is meditation, the hoop works wonders as a tool for this end. So how do you find this tranquility in your hoop practice? Here are some tips:

1. Find a quiet, serene place to hoop. Location can be everything when attempting use hooping as a form of meditation. Rather than hooping in crowded, loud venue, look for a softer place perhaps in a more natural setting. For many of us, nature allows us to begin to relax the moment we are fixed upon it. If this is not your inclination or possible then find the place that most calls to you as a comfortable environment.

2. Breathe. Allow yourself the opportunity to breathe deeply and with intention. Hear your breath and take note of it. Breathe from your belly rather than just from your chest. If needed, place your hand on your stomach to feel the inhalation and exhalation of each breath as it enters and leaves your body. Throughout your hoop session, take time to notice how you are breathing and if there is a mindfulness to it.

3.Begin your hoop practice with a slow, deliberate warm-up. Perhaps start with moving without your hoops, stretching, or slow movement within your hoop. Be aware of your body and how it is responding. Does it feel tight, sore or limited in any capacity? Use this time to scope out your environment. Are you able to move freely? Center yourself in your body and take as long as you need to find that place that feels comfortable to begin spinning in your hoop.

4. Use intention when making your playlist or hoop in silence. (Turning the Music Off) Whatever you choose, music or focusing on the sounds surrounding you, bring intention into it. If using music, I recommend finding a playlist that matches the mental space you hope to obtain in your hoop practice. During your warm-up start with something slow that matches the pace needed. Build upon that with songs that will motivate you to stay in the present moment, and leaving the daily worries behind. If a song doesn’t resonate with you at a particular moment don’t be afraid to skip over it and move on to the next one.

5. Don’t be afraid to drill. Often times we think that a hooping meditation session is not a good time to work on drilling a certain skill. On the contrary, this can be one of the best times to work on drills, as long as you practice patience with yourself and allow yourself to be present. Constant drilling on one skill can become a meditative movement in itself. Working on angles for example, sure you’re breaking a sweat and it’s hard, but your mind is present to what is happening and the repetition often creates a space for us to let go and stay mindful of the task at hand. The key is patience with yourself and not allowing frustration to enter into the picture and stay with you. Staying frustrated takes us out of the present and keeps us in a different state. Instead try acknowledging the feeling of frustration and letting it go.

6. Just dance. Sometimes all that is needed in a hoop practice is to dance, allowing the hoop to fully engage becoming our partner in the spin. Have you had those moments where you are so lost in the rhythm that you aren’t sure if you are controlling the hoop or the hoop is controlling you? You are one in the flow and it feels perfect. These are the moments when the “hoop bliss” we so often hear about arrives. It often surprises us when we are just dancing with our hoop. Not concerned what anyone else thinks, not concerned about learning a new trick, but just living in the moment and dancing for ourselves. This is often when we can truly find ourselves in a state of movement meditation within the hoop. Present to only the here and now and full of joy.

One of my students once told me that “When I’m hooping I can’t have a to do list going on in my head.” This has stuck with me for years and I use it in classes periodically. She expresses so clearly what many people feel. My hoop is a place for me to clear my head and go for refuge. With so many people telling their stories of healing within the hoop, I can’t imagine that I am alone with these thoughts and feelings. I am curious about yours. I invite you to take this time to share your experience of presence or presents offered through hooping. I can’t wait to hear!

Master of the Hoop?

2012-04-26T21:36:00.001-04:00

Recently, I introduced myself to a talented, young hooper at a gathering of spinners, and she sweetly replied, “I know who you are. You’re a Master.” I felt my chest tighten. I blushed and awkwardly responded, “Well, I don’t know about that…” You see, I struggle with the new term “Master Hooper” that has popped up in the last few years. My aim in looking at this isn’t about taking any dedication, hard work or skill set away from anyone, but instead to look at how language can be confusing, misleading, and even perhaps limit our growth. I don’t know where the term Master Hooper originated in our community, nor do I think it is all that important, but what is important is that the term lacks clear definition and boundaries. How does one become a Master Hooper? Are there guidelines, tests, rules to be one? Do you have to be able to do every “trick” or “move” possible? Are there varying levels of Masterhood?

In some other sports and arts there are specific guidelines set up in order for you to achieve the next level, whether it be done with points, scores, belts, degrees… Martial arts, for example, has clear directions for what a person needs to do to earn each belt within the particular modality one is learning. Hooping, however, has no guidelines as such – and I for one am ecstatic about that, being able to continue pushing forward without worrying about what step on the ladder I am or “should” be on.

Now to be fair most dictionaries out there will list one of the definitions of the word “master” as, in essence, an accomplished or great artist or performer and I agree that the hoop community has multitudes of very talented spinners. But then what does it mean to be an accomplished or great hoop artist or performer? Who decides? Can anyone just start calling themselves a Master Hooper? And are people doing this?

One of the reasons this term seems so confusing and potentially misleading to me is because as a community, we hoopers are so very young on our journey as artists. The community has come so far in a relatively short amount of time, but in another ten years how much further will hooping be? My heart beats with excitement at the thought. Of course, there have been a number of pioneers who have paved the way with innovations and creative movement, opening up the hooping world to contemporary methods for manipulating the circle. How much further will these and other hoopers push the boundaries of what already exists? And what about those that have opened doors for us, but are no longer in the spin? Are their contributions less valuable because they left the hooping world? Can they not be considered a Master?

If we look at Master Painters, for example, it is possible to achieve the title within one’s lifetime, although many gain it after death, but it comes from a complex process of fully evaluating a long period of his or her work and the history of the time period. Since hooping, as it exists today, is still a relatively new art form, I have to wonder if it isn’t too early to assign the term Master to anyone, even if they have been in the circle for over a decade. For many of the early years of hooping we didn’t have videos or YouTube to actively watch each other’s work online, and while Burning Man and other festivals were around to allow us to hoop with one another, the first official hoop gathering didn’t happen in the United States until the first HoopPath Retreat in 2005. Our oldest gathering isn’t even six-years-old yet. The others are even younger. It is so soon to be using such a strong term for such a young art.

Personally, while I have a lot of unanswered questions about the term Master Hooper, I also am aware that no matter how developed my hooping becomes, I don’t want to master the hoop. I want to see the hoop, forever, as my dance partner. My partner in creativity, movement and meditation – not as merely an object to be manipulated and controlled. If I were to ever master the hoop, as such, I wonder if then my hoop journey would be over. That thought saddens me beyond belief. Instead, I see this venture as one of partnership, not only with my hoop, but with my fellow hoopers that I encounter. What can I teach? What can I learn along the way? Not only about hooping, but about myself, others and community? I always want to be learning because I don’t believe it is about reaching an apex, but about walking the long, scenic trail and soaking in each moment as it comes.

Getting Our Kids in The Hoop

2012-03-01T21:59:00.001-05:00

With Michelle Obama and the Center for Disease Control on a mission to wipe out childhood obesity, it is no surprise that hula hooping has come into the limelight as one way to maintain health in kids. Childhood obesity has, after all, more than tripled in the past 30 years. In a population-based sample of 5- to 17-year-olds, 70% of youth struggling with obesity today already have at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Something obviously has to be done. Whether or not kids want to exercise, however, most want to play. Hula hooping is a great way for kids to spin up some exercise without really knowing it. And while that may not be a news flash exactly, it has seemed to me, as a mother, that my 4-and 6-year olds have been gaining a plethora of other benefits and life skills from picking up the hoop as well. I knew how much the hoop had personally shaped and improved my life as an adult, but I was curious to know just how good is hooping for our kids, and what are all the benefits for them? So I decided to talk with several hoop professionals who are teaching hooping to children to find out. You might be surprised to learn that hooping helps children develop far more than just good exercise habits, especially when practiced with some regularity.

Kelly Breaux of Hoop It Up Worldwide has been hooping with children for close to nine years. What benefits does Kelly see as she works with these kids? She told Hooping.org, “It definitely improves self esteem in the kids because there is always a skill that a child can master. Also, when we go back to the same schools every year, the kids who are hooping are in better shape and have higher self esteem than those who didn’t keep up with it.” Kelly added, “At our company we call hooping a phenomenon because we have an obesity crisis with kids in our country and it is so easy for them to get hooping and have fun. They learn technique and core cardio. This gets kids to work out because they love it! Often to get boys and girls to exercise for an hour is unheard of.”

At Turners Youth Circus in Louisville, Kentucky, Rebecca Hellemansteaches and choreographs hoop dancing routines for the children involved. Rebecca, also the mother of young hooper, Sierra Hellemans, has witnessed the prodigious effects hooping has on children at both a personal and a professional level. She has also noticed a significant increase in self confidence from the time she first starts hooping with a child, through the end of their circus season, but Rebecca expanded on that further. “The kids build not only self confidence in terms of their self esteem, but they build a body awareness and overall body confidence. Confidence in what their bodies can do.” Rebecca explained there are other major benefits that are often overlooked as well. “These are children in development stages of life. The youngest I work with is 5-years-old because, unless they have already been involved in movement activities from an early age (like yoga etc), they are just starting to connect the dots on how to move the hoop around the waist. As they progress in learning new skills, they develop their fine and gross motor skills and coordination through hoop dance.” Rebecca also noted that through learning choreography in the circus the children are also working on team building and trust. She said, “As the kids are practicing moves for their routine, for example partner weaves, they must learn cooperation and trust in their team members in order to complete the move without injuring each other.”

Julia Hartsell Crews of Hoopdrum in Carrboro, North Carolina, has been teaching children’s classes and camps for nearly nine years. She has experience teaching all levels of children from elementary school through high school students. Julia admits that while there are no case studies, as such, through her own personal experience of talking to multitudes of parents, they all agree that hooping  opened their child up in areas of self confidence and self esteem, especially at the middle school ages when a child may be going through an awkward phase. Her experience working with middle schoolers dealing with peer issues has allowed her to use hooping as a way to dive into those issues, address them gently and stop things before feelings get hurt. “Hooping gives us the opportunity to change behavior. We move with respect and I let them tell me how we can do that. I facilitate the answers by asking them questions. What do we need to be aware of in this class? What could get hurt in this class? We also change behavior by reframing language. Going from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I will’ – teaching them to open possibilities in their world.” She has also seen hooping become a sanctuary for a 9-year-old girl watching her parents go through a divorce, as well as a source of empowerment for an autistic girl who after hooping with her for two years developed the confidence to perform in a talent show. It’s also an ever growing source of inspiration and responsibility for Pete Morello, now 14-years-old, who has been hooping with Julia since he was 7. He’s now taking performance gigs.

The combined years of experience of these three women and the children touched by hooping through their efforts, are evidence to the positive effect the hoop can have in the lives of our kids. Obviously physical fitness in a time when childhood obesity is a considered a crisis in our country is one major draw to hooping, but increased self esteem, body awareness, improvement of fine and gross motor skills, team building, peer relations, better concentration, and a sense of responsibility are just more reasons to get your kid inside the circle. So if you’ve been wondering if hooping is really stimulating your child’s growth… the answer is a resounding YES!

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Re-Entry after a Hoop Gathering.

2012-02-08T14:18:00.002-05:00

photo by BELLAWILLOW

When I walked into Louisville’s historic Turners Gym, the site for most of the second annual Snow Flow Festival in Louisville, Kentucky, I took a deep, cleansing breath, knowing I was home for the weekend. The fact that I had been in this magical place before, mattered not. I was once again transformed into a calm place of hoop/flow solitude, without even picking up my hoop. This past weekend, February 3rd - 5th, formally kick started the U.S. hoop gathering season for another year and I was excited.

Orchestrated by Rebecca Hellemans, I glanced around at the professional equipment we were were so blessed to have this year thanks to Tour Support Services. Booming sound, lasers flashing, lights of all colors radiating across the room, smoke steaming up, my heart thumped just thinking of what was to come.

The ceiling was covered with aerial rigs of all kinds, many that would be used for classes over the weekend, including my first lyra class - oh how I fell in love with the aerial hoop! The gym was separated into sections so up to four classes could happen at one time. Hoop, poi, fire eating... well you name it, Snow Flow probably had it. 35 classes, 20 instructors and over 130 participants spun it up this year. Ten of the classes were dedicated solely to hooping, while others could definitely enhance your hoop practice. Fire safety, belly dance, the list goes on and the connectedness between participants that occurs in an intense setting of learning, physical exertion, and emotional opening left me in a state of bliss, and exhaustion by the time the weekend was over.

Rebecca Hellemans spins fire.
photo by Kurt Strecker

After teaching my last class on Sunday, I rushed out of the gym saying quick goodbyes, not lingering too long on the ache that was sure to follow in order to start my six-hour car ride home. My heart was full, my body was sore, and my mind was overflowing with ideas and thoughts to process. I began my journey home realizing this is the part of hoop/flow gatherings that no one really tells you about. THE AFTERMATH. Does this sound at all familiar? The days, sometimes weeks, after a gathering of this intensity, can involve a processing period and a downshift back into “the real world”. A world that is not all hoopers, spinners, and full of a genuine spirit of community. Here are some tips that can help you re-enter your world and be gentle with yourself.

1. Allow time to process. Through journaling, hooping, meditation, or just plain old time in solitude, take the time you need to process. How do you know if it is helping? You feel better after, not worse. Or it may be time spent processing with others. Talk with other hoopers or spinners who attended the event as well. Share your experiences.

2. Pick up your hoop. You’ve surely learned a lot over the course of the event you’ve attended. Pick up the hoop and practice what you have learned. Don’t let all that knowledge go to waste. If you aren’t feeling it, then just love on your hoop and fall into a nice flow, allowing your hoop to embrace you as you bring back those feelings of joy created.

3. Drink Plenty of Water. Hydration is key to life. Your body is most likely exhausted. One of the best ways to nurture yourself is to drink water, and a lot of it. Even if you stayed well hydrated throughout the event, continue this hydration after as your muscles and body continue the healing process. Your body will thank you for it.

4. Get Plenty of Rest. Go to bed earlier than usual if possible. Your body is your temple, allow it to be healthy, rested and restored. You have most likely put more physical and emotional (yes even positive emotion) stress on it than it has seen in awhile. Give yourself an extra hour of sleep or whatever you can squeeze in. Again, remember your body needs time to rebuild and restore itself, physically and emotionally.

5. Stay connected. Most of us are on Facebook and Hooping.org. Stay connected with the new friends you made. Take time to watch the videos from the weekend, look at the pictures posted, and bask in the memories created. It helps to ease the transition back into your daily life.

6. Plan your next event. Knowing that you have something else up your sleeve, even if is months away, can help take the edge off. It doesn’t have to be a full blown hoop gathering either, perhaps it is just a road trip to meet a new friend that you connected with at this past event, or a trip to a city an hour away to learn from that teacher you’ve been hearing about. If you are able to dream up something big or small it can help give you some excitement for the future.

Leaving an event such as Snow Flow can be a big transition and self care afterwards is warranted and necessary. These are just a few guidelines to help and we would love to hear comments and ideas that have worked for you in your transitions from hoop gatherings back to everyday life. I was thrilled to participate at Snow Flow in multiple roles this year including organizational, workshop instructor, performer, and of course attendee. It was an experience to be able to witness the event from so many aspects and still walk away with my mind absolutely blown.

Video edited and created by Jessie Eckles, Snow Flow Instructor and Participant. If you are receiving this via email and can not view the video, please visit www.havenhoopdance.com

My Hooping Attachments

2012-01-25T10:23:00.000-05:00

"Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away."
~~Aitken Roshi

Do you have a hoop that you are particularly attached to? Or perhaps a spinning skirt, shirt or out of this world pair of pants that make you feel hooptastic when you're in your flow? While these “things” to others may seem inconsequential, as we gaze upon them we are flooded with images and emotions that are assuredly powerful. My Buddhist nature tells me to let go of attachments, yet I still find myself holding on to a few certain hoop items which produce deep nostalgia.

My hoops themselves often hold energy having moved me through life experiences and transitions. I may use a particular hoop for years or just months. It depends on my station in life, the hoop size, the type of hoop I am using at the time, what my body needed. Changing a hoop is often as easy as changing the tape, letting go of past energy and bringing in the new spirit. To share a secret though, I, personally, am not one to hold too tightly to a hoop (except the one I am currently using). So what, you may ask, are my hooping attachments? Well, until a few days ago I’m not sure I could of answered that question. And then "it" happened.

I was teaching at the yoga studio where I hold my classes. It was a full class of bright-eyed, spunky children and a couple of moms. I left reveling in the uncomplicated, innocent joy created there. I loaded the hoops in my station wagon, my bag of supplies, and all other necessary items I had carried with me. As I drove away from the studio, I reached for my water bottle and swore out loud when I realized I had forgotten it. I immediately turned the car around.

Back at the studio, one of the owners, Dan, helped me look around the few places I possibly could have left it. I started to feel a strange sensation in my chest that I quickly pushed away. "Umm, Bonnie it’s just a water bottle," I tried telling myself. I told Dan it must be in the parking lot or I missed it in my car somehow. We began looking for it outside, my heart slowly sinking. It wasn’t in my car or anywhere near where I had parked. Getting in the car to drive away, that's when I saw it, on the ground, near the stop sign. Excitement filled me until I picked it up. The aluminum had been crushed. It had obviously run over by a car, probably mine, after being left on top of the wagon while I loaded the hoops. Unexpected tears began to brim.

What? Was I was actually crying because my water bottle was destroyed? I mean I know I’m emotional and all, but this was just a water bottle. Or was it? I looked at it again and stared at the two stickers on it, both HoopPath stickers...old school HoopPath stickers they don't make anymore. My eyes welled up more. Memories flooded my heart and mind. This water bottle had traveled with me everywhere for years, even more than my hoops did. I took it to every Monday night Maidan hoop class in Carrboro, to every hooping event I'd ever attended. I nursed my babies with this bottle by my side. When I traveled anywhere, I brought my water bottle. Even on planes I would go through the hassle of emptying it and packing it for that constant reassurance. I'd even brought it on dates (ok weird I know). It was like an aluminum snuggly blanket full of life giving water that nourished me and reminded me, through the stickers, of my tribe, and of three vital stages of life learning “Belief, Strength, Grace”. Now, it was mush. I couldn’t believe I had to throw it away.

Metaphors being as they are, I've since recognized that it was the right time. I moved from Carrboro to Detroit nine months ago, and this was the perfect moment to physically let go of what I’ve been holding onto so tightly. All of those memories, people, love, they'll always be a part of me, even without my security water bottle. As I search for a new water bottle, I’m excited to put a Detroit Fire Guild sticker along side a HoopPath sticker I have packed away. I am fully embracing my journey where ever it is taking me. Most likely with my water bottle, for me a sign of the life water gives, always by my side. We may develop our hooping attachments, but they come and go right on schedule.

Glorious Muscle Memory

2012-01-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

This week, just as Hooping.org’s 30/30 Challenge was kicking off, I took my four- and six-year-old ice skating for the second time in their lives. I, myself, have not skated in over 20 years and was surprised to find how quickly I picked it back up. While my immediate thoughts turned towards hooping (“Wow, wouldn’t it be fun to do today’s 30/30 on ice skates”), I also was surprised at how naturally my body fell back into rhythm with the feel of the ice, skates on my feet, and mixing the two together. Initially, I gave this only a moment of thought as I returned my focus to the task at hand; teaching the boys some basic skating skills.

Have you ever wondered how your body changes from struggling to keep the hoop up, or fighting to learn a new move, to then doing it effortlessly? Yes, practice, practice, practice is essential. But why is it that when we first start hooping we have to hoop with fierce intensity to maintain the hoop’s rhythm, but as time goes on we are able to slow down, almost to where our body appears to barely be moving to keep the rotation afloat? Simply put, it is muscle memory.

Muscle memory is a glorious method of learning where our muscles, simply by repetition, are able to move more fluidly and fluently. Continuous repetition of an action allows our bodies to then perform the action nearly effortlessly. In hooping, by practicing a move or trick frequently, our long term muscle memory takes over and soon we are able to execute the task, often without thinking. Just think of the saying, “You never forget how to ride a bike.” It’s all about muscle memory!

Back at the skating rink, while I was teaching the boys the basics, and watching them fall repeatedly and then dust themselves off and get back up again with joy, my thoughts, for moments at a time, turned back to hooping again. I love the learning process. I find it absolutely enthralling to watch a student go from fear of picking up the hoop during his/her first class to rocking it in both currents, and perhaps learning a move or two by the time the hour has ended. Surely some people don’t learn as quickly and are maybe only able to hoop for 5 minutes (or 5 revolutions) by the end of the first class, but still progress has been made. Muscle memory is being formed, and this I find oddly fascinating. Seriously, I relish in the magnificence of what memories our bodies hold, and how our muscles retain memory and help us hoop or learn other new skills.

As we continued to skate, I could see the boys falling less, pushing with their feet more, laughing harder, and their muscle memory growing and growing. I took notice that not once during this learning process, through all the falls and bumps on the ice, did either one of them EVER say , “Mama, I just can’t do this.” I began to reflect on my own erudition with hooping and how many times, even just in passing, I said “Oh I can’t do that, yet…” What powerful words, “I can’t”. Even just the subtlety of the words “I’ll try” vs. “I’ll do it.”. After all the brain is a muscle too, to be exercised, to gain muscle memory. What kind of muscle memory had I been giving it?

The 30/30 challenge had begun that day, and I knew the first thing I had told myself was, “Well I can’t commit to this, but I’ll try.” I skated on the ice with my boys, my teachers, and gulped, fully swallowing this knowledge of what I have been doing for so long. I watched them, bliss exploding from their beings as they continued this journey on the ice, the words “I Can’t” never exiting their lips. I took pause and promised myself to be actively mindful of the silent messages I told myself, but also to take care of what I spoke out loud, little ears are listening. And in those moments I started to rework my muscle memory, “I will do the 30/30 Challenge. I can do it!”.

The Power Of Dance

2011-10-27T07:53:00.001-04:00

There are times when words can not adequately express all that is happening in my personal world and the world at large. This is one of those times. I chose instead to "hoop it out", dancing to reclaim my personal power and freeing myself from some powerful emotions that were dominating my current situation. I hooped continuously for over an hour to this song, "Minds Without Fear"by Imogen Heap, recording as I did because I found it so powerful and connected to it deeply. I know very little about editing videos, but took about three or four pieces of the hoop session and put them together to create this one video. It is a sample of my overall experience, clearing my mind, expressing myself, and empowering myself again.

Thank you for watching.

If you can not view the video, please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to see the entire post.

A Portrait of Cally Chavez

2011-10-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

Meet Cally Chavez. A single mother, hooper and healer from Cheyenne, Wyoming, who took a leap with full force in November 2010 and turned her many passions into her full time career. It was at this point, almost a year ago, that Cally says she found herself, “stepping out of a place of fear to follow my heart and dreams”. She opened Creative Healing Studios which encompasses a store front to sell Cally’s art, knitting, massage oils and sugar scrubs. There’s a middle office where she offers massage and sound therapy (using tibetan singing bowls), as well as a back studio where she creates her artwork. knitting, and makes her hoops. Cally has been hooping for three years and teaching hoop dance for two, but admits that she became very serious about her teaching in the past six months. All of these arts coalesce to fulfill Cally’s dream at Creative Healing, and this year she was even able to take her massage therapy to the Return to Roots Hoop Gathering. Cally says, “Merging massage with hooping at Return to Roots Festival was awesome, but it has really come full circle with merging hooping with my art.”

Vedauwoo is an area of rocky outcrops located in south-eastern Wyoming, between Cheyenne and Laramie. Its name is an anglicized version of the Arapaho Native American word “bito’o'wu” meaning “earth-born”. Known for it’s distinctive natural beauty and sacred mystery, with history literally stretching back thousands of years, Cally often used this landscape, brimming with natural divinity, as she worked with great intention on her first collection of artwork; a dozen paintings of hoopers. While Vedauwoo provided huge boulders, caves, and in the evenings the voices of Native Americans singing for added inspiration while she stenciled and painted, she would listen to her own music, hoop and become in tune with her surroundings as part of her creative process. Cally’s time painting at Vedauwoo as part of her creation of 12 paintings, resulted in these artistic expressions of her connection to the hooping community. “Hooping has inspired me and made me so much better. The connection to spirit and the therapy that happens through hooping… This is my way to put it down and let people know how much it means to me.”

"Hoopers Heaven" - a painting by Cally Chavez

While Cally has been creating art for as long as she can remember, her dozen hooper pantings are the first collection she has ever done in her portfolio. These stencil and graffiti style pieces have been surfacing and circulating throughout Facebook and are receiving high acclaim. In fact, to this date, Cally has already sold half her collection. “It’s really just a testament to how embracing and supportive the hoop community is,” she said in her continually gracious manner. Cally originally had been doing similar style painting for the local roller derby team, The Cheyenne Capibulls, when she thought, “Why am I not painting hoopers?” So she gathered some photographs and obtained permission from the hoopers in the images and went to work. You can view her full collection here.

Cally created a video before putting the finishing touches on these 12 paintings. In similar fashion to her approach on so much of life, Cally entitled the video “Gratitude”. She commented, “I put everything that I have gotten back from this community into these paintings.” And the lyrics of the song [Chico Gospel by MaMuse (on iTunes)] speak so strongly to Cally and her work when MaMuse sings, “I am walking on this earth stronger than ever.”

What is next for Cally of WYO Hoops For Life? She is clearly ready to start more paintings and continue on this path, always celebrating the hooping community along her way. “Hooping has enriched my life and made it possible to connect to people on such a large scale. I had no idea that going into this lifestyle that I would be so ‘rich’ as a result.”

Turning the Music Off

2011-10-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

There is a line in the Dar Williams song “As Cool As I Am”, where Dar is speaking to the man she is with, who is in turn ogling a drunk woman dancing in the bar: Dar sings, “And as long as she’s got noise, she’s fine. But I could teach her how to dance when the musics ended.” I’ve always loved that line and felt a deep connection with it. In reality though, I didn’t try the practice of hooping without music for a very long time. Sure I would drill and mess around with my hoop without tunes, but a real practice session, with full body in movement, arms in flight, legs dancing, full expression, without my ipod? No Way!

This past spring, as I began to settle into my new home in Michigan, my hoop practice began to transition, as I was also transitioning from Carrboro, North Carolina, to the Detroit Metro area. Picture this: out in front of our house a relatively, loud, busy road, but in the back a serene stream running into a small, quiet lake, with just a handful of other houses on it, and large trees surrounding it all. Gorgeous right? I couldn’t help but just hoop and soak in my surroundings the first time I picked up my hoop here, music seemed almost an offense.

Thus began my practice of hooping to the natural rhythms of my environment and I have to tell you, it is an enriching experience both within the hoop and looking within myself. So how do you start this type of practice? Well, truly everyone is different and what worked for me, may not resonate with you, but I do want to share my experience to help get you started and stir up your own creative process for this exercise.

First as I start my practice, I follow my breath while doing a light exercise, like rolling the hoop on my arms/hands or gentle core hooping. Then I begin gently swaying with the hoop until I can start to let go of what I brought into the session, becoming more mindful of the here and now. Give yourself plenty of time to relax into the exercise and fully release what does not serve you. If you have done mindfulness exercises before, utilize what you have learned and incorporate them into your hooping.

Next focus on one sense, for me at this point it is sound. I will listen to the sounds around me and find the natural rhythms and music that are occurring in my environment. These organic noises provide a basis to begin your hoop practice. Often you discover things you would have never heard had you not intently listened, perhaps crickets, frogs or birds, wind chimes from several houses away, a dog barking, traffic, sirens, the sounds the trees make as they blow in the wind, the possibilities are limitless. The rhythms and music created by nature and our environment allow new movements within your hoop that are unique to your own life and experience.

Then I will move into another sense, usually touch. How does the hoop feel as I moved it around my body? What is the sensation of the tubing/tape on my skin? How do the earth/floor and my feet work together? Am I grounded or feeling like I am tripping myself up? Can I be more balanced? What does the breeze, sun, rain, (if indoors) lights, air conditioning, feel like on my skin? How is the temperature of my skin changing how the hoop is moving across my body? Be aware of all of these things and how they influence your body and the hoop. Notice what works in your hoopdance as you move throughout the practice. These are helpful clues to take with you into a practice filled with music of a different kind.

In this way you can move from sense to sense. Examining your body’s reaction to the sense and how it may (or may not) cause the hoop to react as well. Does what you see, taste, or smell have any influence over you as you move with the hoop? Does an unpleasant smell cause your body to tighten and therefore the hoop to respond in kind? What about getting lost in the sight of something beautiful? Again note how your response with the hoop varies as you play with your senses. Find things that will enhance your overall experience with your hoop.

The information we receive from our senses is undeniably valuable. We rely on this knowledge to navigate our daily lives. What valuable tool our 5 senses can be also when we tune into them for our hoop practice! Ann Humphreys, of the Hoop Path, had this recent experience with hooping music-free, “For the 3rd time in my life, circumstance (iPod had failed to load somehow) I was forced to hoop without music…and something wonderful happened: I started listening to my hoop in an altogether new way– the rough sound as the tattered tape slid across my palms, the light slap of the hoop as it moved on my core– and I found this music quite beautiful.”

So, my friends, shall we all hoop as if the music has ended and see what happens? Will it open a new doorway for your hooping journey or just be deafeningly quiet? I can’t wait to hear what happens!

Break Free from Your Hooping Rut

2011-09-15T10:08:00.004-04:00

Last week I performed at a retirement home for a group of delightful men and women, who were more than generous with compliments at the end of the hour long set. One beautiful woman even approached me to say, “Honey, I am an artist and that was wonderful. Now I am going to go to my room and paint you.” I was humbled. Their praise left me feeling comfortable and satisfied that I had done my job of providing them with an afternoon of entertainment, but on a deeper, personal level I was disappointed.

Throughout the set I felt like I performed the same moves repeatedly and was unable to get out of this pattern. I found myself thinking too much while hooping and not enjoying what I was doing. The smile plastered on my face was purely for the audience, but inside I was struggling to find different ways to move with my hoop, my dance partner. Ugh, I was in a hooping rut, but what was I going to do about it?

When I came home my hoop sister, Lauren Currier, and I began brainstorming ways to move forward and I’m here to tell you that they really work. Here are our top ten ways to turn a hooping rut into a hooping channel for further growth and movement.

1. Hoop! Don’t give up. One of the first things many of us are inclined to do when in a rut is to put the hoop down and walk away. Don’t do it! Pick your hoop up, embrace it, and have confidence that this is just temporary and you will move through it. Then follow some (or all) of these other tips.

2. Remember you are not alone. In my 9+ years of hooping I never met a hooper who did not at some point find themselves stuck in a hooping rut. You are not alone! You will get through this!

3. Change your music. Often something as simple as changing your music to a slightly different, or perhaps dramatically different, genre will effect the way you dance with your hoop and produce openings in your hooping you did not know were possible.

4. Drill, drill and then drill some more. Work on things you are already do well and refine the movement. Spend part of you hoop practice drilling a specific technique over and over and over again, bringing your attention to each part of the process. What are my feet doing, my breath, my hands, shoulders, my head, etc.? Be very aware. There is no such thing as perfection, so you can always improve and develop new skills. Drilling is often the time when breakthroughs arrive.

5. Hoop in your non-dominant direction (second current). It is important to stay balanced on both sides of your body, but often hoopers forget to hoop in their second current. Spend a song, or entire hoop session working in your second current. Hoop on your waist, shoulders, legs, or anywhere on your core in second current and see what opens up. Likewise with off body hooping, switch hands so that you are hooping with your dominant and non-dominant hand. This type of focus balances your body and range of skills.

6. Hoop blindfolded. Baxter of the HoopPath introduced this method of hooping “blind” years ago and it has caught on for a reason. When you are blindfolded there are no distractions from the outside world, allowing the hooper to go deeper into his/her own practice and work on the intricacies of their movements with the hoop, as well as have a more meditative practice. When one sense of the body of the body is removed other senses become heightened, allowing you to connect with your hoop in new ways.

7. Hoop with other people. The energy that is created when people get together to hoop is bound to put a smile on your face. Hooping with others creates an opportunity to learn to skills, build community, and share your hoop knowledge.

8. Find a class. If you live in an area with local classes, sign up for one! This is great way to learn new ways of moving within the hoop that can help you climb out of your rut. If classes aren’t possible, look at the 281 free online tutorials here on Hooping.org that can also teach you and add to your library of moves.

9. Teach someone else! Whether you are teaching someone else how to waist hoop or a more advanced skill, teaching others is a valuable way to realize how far you have come. Giving back to the community can help you break moves down in simple steps that may improve your own hooping. Teaching others often will open up your own hooping to new movements and improve your current repertoire and skill set.

10. Do something creative outside the hoop. Write, bake, paint, draw, sing, play an instrument, dance without your hoop, and the list goes on! Opening your creative channels in other areas can foster a positive influence on your hooping when you step back into the circle. So whether you hoop then take a break to do another creative exercise, then hoop again, or set the hoop down for a day and create in a whole new way, just remember to keep creating, holding a space for your unique potential. Creativity breeds creativity.

The Dog Park

2011-07-20T18:51:00.000-04:00

I chose this video because it is a dance all about simplicity, one of the four tenants of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, and because I made it for my Dad, without whom I would have never gone to the dog park and had this experience to write about. Thank you Dad. (If you can't not view the video please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to see the blog in full)

In the Fall of 1993 I began a journey that lasted three years and changed my life in profound, indescribable ways. I had joined the Jesuit Volunteer Corps (JVC). The first year was spent volunteering as a counselor in a battered women's shelter, living simply in community with 6 other volunteers on a small stipend in a poor, precarious neighborhood in Kansas City, MO, all while sharing our various ideas about spirituality. Needless to say, my mind was BLOWN! I spent the next two years on the staff of the JVC in Houston, TX trying to help others obtain a similar experience by working as a volunteer coordinator and development director. These years were formidable to so many of my ideas regarding social justice and spirituality, but what persisted the most was a longing for community to share these values and ideas. My search began.

As I moved from Houston to Chapel Hill, NC I searched for this feeling of community for which my spirit longed, but found that in a transitional, college town great friends would come into my life, leave their lasting impression and often friendship, but their corporeal bodies would move on to the next stage of their lives. I was not looking to live in intentional community again and had not found a spiritual community that resonated with my own spiritual searching. I just needed a place to call "home" every once in awhile.

Then in the summer of 2002, I saw Vivian "Spiral" dancing with her hoop on the Weaver Street Market lawn. I was entranced by every movement and the look of pure joy on her face. As I watched, with every ounce of my being, I knew I must gather the courage to talk to her, because I had to learn this skill. Within a month or so, I took a class on the Weaver St. Market lawn taught by Spiral and Julia Hartsell, and bought my first hoop that day. In the beginning, I was a solo hooper, drilling endlessly to gain strength in the front yard of my house. I would come out to Weaver St. for live music and hoop with the few others who were regulars back then, Beth Lavinder and her daughter Erica, Jonathan Baxter, Vivian, and Julia, but with age and having said so many goodbyes I had become more introverted.

Then with much prodding from Beth, about six months after having my first child I came to my first HoopPath class, taught by Jonathan Livingston Baxter (aka Bax/Baxter). Beth had been telling me about them for about a year, but I had been pregnant (and hooping, but not quite up for a class), then on bed rest, and finally an all-consumed first time mom. Of all the memories from that first class, my clearest and most defining, came as Baxter played the cool down song. My dance slowed down to match my heart rate and my thoughts, and then came the flood of tears. I was remembering who I was before I became a mom. The dance elicited the feelings and ideas that I could be, I WAS, more than just a mom. I was a WHOLE person. Of course I was mortified to be crying in front of a group of "strangers", but most of them being mothers, or women, or seekers understood without words having to be spoken. I left that Monday and rarely missed a class for the next several years.

The HoopPath became a community for me in unexpected, often boundless ways. And the greater hooping community across the country and the world has surprised me countless times in their support for one another, the ability for the Internet to connect people and foster often deep friendships across seemingly finite borders and lines. All because of the joy that a circle of variable weight, color and size, spun in a variety of fashions, brings to each of us. I knew I had found it... "The Golden Ticket"... if you will. How many times had I really thought, "If everyone picked up a hoop, the world would be happier." Oh my arrogance. Thankfully, this life is full of bright, meaningful lessons tied in beautiful packages... not just hard lessons.

Last week my parents went out of town and left there pride and joy in my care, a beautiful, kooky yellow lab named "Rocky". Rocky is still quite the pup and needs a good deal of exercise every day. Each morning he jumps happily in the minivan for his daily jaunt to the dog park. Rocky has many dog friends at the park, some he plays rough with, others he runs and tugs on sticks or ropes with, and some he just walks with as the owners take a "loop" around the extremely gorgeous, fenced in area. My dad assured me that he would introduce me to the regulars before leaving, and that they would "take care of me", as Rocky can on occasion cause some mischief.

As the week progress and I quickly became absorbed with the routine at the dog park, I found myself in awe of these 5-7 regulars that joined up each morning at the same time to walk the perimeter of the dog park several times, lavish attention on each others dogs, listen attentively to one another, make gently sarcastic jokes with each other, and genuinely care about each person and their animal. If someone was missing, it was noticed and concern was shown. They all knew about each others lives and formed their own community around something they cared about deeply. Now perhaps that is not what they would call it, but my time there brought to mind so clearly how I have felt when spending time with hooping friends.

Then yesterday, I took Rocky again to the dog park. I was so excited to go, after missing a few days since my parents return. One of my favorite regulars, Sue, a retired school teacher with the brightest disposition and two amazing dogs to match, was there, but her car was clearly damaged as she pulled into the park. "Well," she said, nonchalant as ever, "I had a stroke over the weekend." We were all stunned and immediately concerned. "Its just my lesson to slow down and only do the important, non-stressful things. Hey, that's why I'm here. I mean what could be better than this place right? Isn't it a beautiful day? What a great place to be." And she started calling the dogs over one by one as she told us the story of her long weekend. Then we walked the perimeter of the dog park.

Anyone who knows me, understands my deep love for hooping and the hoop community, but WOW have my blinders been BLOWN off. I of course recognized that there were other communities out there: spiritual communities, intentional communities, sporting communities, gaming communities etc etc etc. I have to ask myself, "Did I think there was only one community for me? Am I that limited that I can not share myself amongst several groups."... of course not. But then what has held me back, ignorance, fear, introversion? Pondering for another blog I suppose, but for now, I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned at the dog park.

Sanctuary

2011-04-24T04:56:00.003-04:00

During the past month, as I have moved through, within, around and often stood stagnantly in this transition from my home in the hooping “mecca” of Carrboro, NC to the Detroit Metro Area of Michigan, I have been spent the least amount of time in my hoop in years. My once 5-6 day a week practice has dwindled, at best to once a week, primarily because of logistics. The three times I have hooped I’ve found my heart lighter, my mood lifted significantly, and a connection back to something deeper and greater than myself.

For many, I’d even venture to say, for most, what is created inside the hoop is healing, powerful, personal and many times communal. Over my almost 9 years of hooping I have heard story after story of transformation and continual growth that began the day someone picked up a hoop or saw someone hooping. I know this is true for me. It is difficult to try to explain this to those unfamiliar with flow arts, or who have not found that connection with something powerful in life. So I wanted to share two stories, neither mine, but both far more powerful than what I could write.

The first “story” is actually a comment written about a video I made over 3 1/2 years ago when I was pregnant with my second child. This comment still deeply affects me and lives close to my heart. It reminds me that power lies in each movement, act, word spoken and everyday we each influence one another, often in small ways, sometimes without ever knowing it, and other times irrevocably .

“When my sister became pregnant against her will at 16 she struggled to find a way to heal her spirit and accept the beauty of life. She watched this video over and over again. She picked up a hoop and created a circle of love and acceptance around herself and the blessed life with which she had been gifted. You were able to show her the way. We all thank you for sharing your Love with us.”

The second story is from a dear friend, whom I have been talking to regularly as she is finding her way back into the hoop during a period of healing. She wrote to me recently sharing with me that this was not the first time she has sought hooping for the purposes of healing. Her prose, her story, her courage are so powerful I requested to use it verbatim in this blog, changing her name to protect her privacy.

I’ve given her the name “Willow”, always bending gracefully with the wind, even when it harshly blows, but never breaking.

Willow’s Story:

"i remember the first time i saw them. they were outside and mostly barefoot, women moving within their sacred symbols. i felt so drawn to them, to their energy, to their sacred circles, but i also remember thinking, i could never be like them, i could never do that...i could never move my body in that way, so free, so archetypal, even provocative...

All my scars would be showing, and besides, i would be "asking for it", i guess in the same way a five year old little girl "asks for it”...

but that was all before i know what i know now. that was back when i had no safe place, and nightmares ran my life, awake and asleep. memories of my dad and my uncles, their hands on me, their bodies on me in ways they shouldn't be...

images of them beating my mom, holding her down, having their way with her. beating the dogs until they stopped crying out. pounding them in the face. my face. i was a haunted woman, a lost little ghost.

Then i saw a poster at my gym, about hoop classes. for many weeks i would pass by the poster on purpose, but i never went to the class. finally, for mystical reasons i still am thankful for but still don't understand, i went to the class, and there began a journey that changed the way i move, the way i think, the way i relate to others...

i fell in love with my hoop. it surrounded me. it surrounded me. it surrounded me. it defined the space around me, drawing a line around and around and around me until i understood that there was a space i could claim, into which others could not come uninvited. it protected me. it danced with me, a gentle partner, understanding when i had had enough, waiting nearby and patient when i cried. rocking me when i cried within its arms. soothing me when i was still and quiet within her encircling arms.

At the same time, the hooped worked a strange and seemingly opposite magic. it connected me to a community of other holy dancers, other seekers. i wasn't such a lonely little ghost anymore. i always felt different because of my history, never felt like i fit in. i could never figure out where to put myself, where to be. but somehow in the hoop, we are all one. it joins us to a place in time before we all subdivided into races and genders and people with problems and people with and without money and all the other ways we categorize ourselves and each other. If you ever see many people hooping together, you will be mesmerized by the unique expression of each person's energy. and you will also be mesmerized by the collective energy, the affirmation of community. So finally, i belonged somewhere -- inside of my hoop, and i belonged to something, the hooping community. "

Moving Forward

2011-03-29T00:02:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago on Sunday afternoon, while trying to begin packing my “life” into boxes I found myself curled in a ball on my bathroom floor, heart pounding, gasping for air, as rivers of tears poured from my eyes. I literally felt like my eyeballs might fall out. I know gross, right? But that was the intense, fierce nature of these tears, mixed with the gut wrenching fear and my incapacity for breath. My rational mind told me to calm down and that this was all just some kind of panic attack, something I had never really experienced in this way before. Knowing I was having some severe anxiety induced reaction, was only mildly helpful. The rest led to severe negative self talk, “You are a fucking mess! Who does this? If you can’t even handle this, how will you make it through this move?”. “Look at what is happening in Japan, Bonnie and you are upset about this? Think about (insert name) and all he/she is going through” This talk went on for quite some time, before I began to use all I had learned in my Buddhist practice on mindful breathing, and chanted a mantra which I am particularly fond.

Eventually, my rational mind won out and I was able to control my breathing and regain some composure. Through the help of my friend, Melissa’s, open ear and soothing voice I was able to let go of the delusions of enormity, I had created in my head about myself, this move, and just packing itself. I pulled myself together enough to get out of the house and go for a short run, just before needing to go teach class. While running, I contemplated deeply, how I could possibly teach in this emotional state. I kept repeating the mantra while running and tried to keep my mind clear. After all I had taught on many Tuesday nights and Sunday afternoons/evenings in the face of adversity and it ALWAYS (a word I hardly ever use) turned out well.

I pulled up to Chestnut Ridge Camp, 10 minutes late, and frustrated with myself for not being early to class. My students, though, greeted me with hugs and smiles and the eight of them had already started hooping outside in the warm sunshine without me. We moved class under one of the pavilions, the music began to play and my hoop encircled me and a whole body stillness washed over me. Peace, community, love, oneness, openness, life, breathe, truth.... each for moments at a time, overlapping, all at once. As it does each and every time, class filled me to the brim, and when it was done I thought, “There is no way my students get as much out of this as I do. I am the luckiest person in the world.” The current had changed. The day completely shifted because of a hooper and dear friend, because of my mindfulness practice, because of the hoop, because of my students.

After class that night I made a video for all of my NC community, many of whom hoop, almost all of whom know me as a hooper. I chose the song “Landslide”, by Fleetwood Mac because the lyrics so clearly spoke to my time in the hoop in NC and with the HoopPath community in particular. But it also, spoke to all those who have supported me so graciously throughout many hardships over the last 3 years in particular. These lyrics in particular pull at my heart strings each time I hear them:

“I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too”

Leaving North Carolina feels impossibly hard, but I know it is just the next step in growth. As India.Arie so wisely states, “Look what I have found. I’ve found Strength, Courage and Wisdom, its been inside of me all along.”

Until we meet again (very soon), Namaste’.

If you can not view the video below please view the entire post at www.havenhoopdance.com.

The Invisible String

2011-03-02T00:43:00.004-05:00

"When One tugs at a single thing in Nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world."

John Muir (1838 - 1914)

Yesterday was a beautiful North Carolina day, filled with sun, perfectly broken up with intermittent peaceful clouds and a warm breeze to end February superbly. My five year old, Wynter, and I spent the afternoon outside playing while his younger brother napped. Wynter rode his bike, played in the dirt, found interesting rocks, and we both (with our respective cameras) took pictures of the miraculous blooms and flowers surrounding our quaint house. A great afternoon for any five year old boy and his mom, but this one had an extra twist that made it even more remarkable.

Wynter began a conversation with me somewhere in the middle of the fun that went something like this, “Mama, what is God?”. This is not the first time we have had a conversation about God, but I answered differently this time.

“Well, what do you think God is Wyn?”, I replied.

“I don’t know.”, he said, “Tell me Mama.” “It’s a hard question buddy, but I think God is in all living things.”, I answered. He was quiet for a bit looking at our dog Jordan, the plants around us, many in bloom on this last day of February.

“What does God look like Mom?” was the next question and I just thought...
'wow, he’s not letting up with the tough questions is he.. I love this boy.' Again I turned the question back to him, “Tell me what you think about when you think of God. What do you think God might look like?” Wynter swayed from side to side, pondering the question and then said definitively, “ God is an invisible string that connects us all to one another.”

My heart swelled with a mother’s love for my beautiful boy. He went on to describe God as the invisible string, “God then could connect all the plants and animals and people... the whole earth. And even when we were far away from each other it would be ok because we would still be connected.” I looked at Wynter, his dark hair with gentle curls, soft face, and deep soulful eyes and said, “ I like that,” then I half teased, “do you suppose God is like fishing line string?” He smiled, “ I do like to fishing. Yeah, maybe God is just like that!”

We continued to talk about God, the many names of God, our connection to all living things, if you could get tangled up in the invisible string, and a plethora of other topics of a spiritual nature for quite a while during River’s nap. Then we each took our cameras, exploring the possibilities that nature had offered through new blossoms bursting through, all connected to us by The Invisible String. It was a miraculously peaceful afternoon.

The idea of The Invisible String has stuck with me HARD since our conversation. It is so poignant to what is happening in the boys and my life right now. As we prepare for a big transition out of a community we know and love dearly, leaving every day routine and familiarity, friends, and local haunts, there is great comfort in the knowledge that we will be surrounded not only by family, but also The Invisible String. There is solace in this awareness that The Invisible String connects me with all living things. This connection can not be severed because it is forged in the ultimate love. I can move forward knowing that, while I say goodbye with a heavy heart, I am hopeful because of the existence of The Invisible String.

Remembering Carl

2011-02-17T06:08:00.003-05:00

Carl Anthony Williams
2/25/61-12/22/03

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~~Edward Everett Hale

My dear friend Sean volunteered in Africa and connected deeply with a young child there. He has shared many stories, pictures, and videos of his time with Ibu. His recollections and feelings about this time with Ibu have stirred some of my own memories of various life event including my year volunteering in a battered women's shelter in KC,MO and 3 year old "L" with whom I shared a great bond, and today Sean's story of Ibu brought back a memories from my own childhood, of Carl Williams, one of the most influential people in my life.

I met Carl when I was about 4 or 5. These are my memories as I recall them... the memories of a child at that age. I am sure my time lines are off some, but they don't really matter, what matters is the story, the feelings, and most importantly the impact one person can have on the life of another.

It was my first year at football camp. My mom was cooking all the meals for the team and we (the three daughters) went up to camp that year and subsequent years to "help". I remember being terrified of these HUGE men (really just teenage boys), but to a young child, GIGANTIC football players who could crush me if they chose to. Each year there were a select few (generally about three) trainers who came along as well. They were usually female and were skilled in treating injuries etc. Myself and the other coaches daughters often clung to them, when we weren't off paddle boating, catching frogs, playing with my beloved dog Cheer, or helping in the kitchen. In between these time, during open swim, and at night the players were around and I was fearful.

Then I met Carl. He was by my standards, a mammoth sized man, his beautiful dark skin and large muscles towering over me, with a nice sized afro, all larger than life. I was playing with little plastic race cars that came from the Captain Crunch box. You would blow up the balloon attached and the cars would go swiftly across the picnic table. I felt like a nobody amongst these "adults", and Carl sat down with me and asked if he could race cars with me. The simplest, kindest gesture and suddenly I mattered. We became instant friends, for a lifetime.

After camp I missed Carl tremendously. I could not wait until I would see him again. I can't remember which one of us wrote the other first, but I do remember the glorious day when my mom came home from school with the most magnificent handmade card I had ever seen and it was for me. Carl had thought that I was special enough to make such a lovely card, and it even said so on the the front " For My Special Friend Bonnie". The flower on the cover was made of brilliant colors of yard and he even put a little, plastic man with moustache on the bottom because I had talked about how his moustache tickled when he hugged me. I am flooded with the awareness I had at that moment that I was loved, acknowledged and important as a human being. Sitting on my parents large bed, staring in my mother's mirror that spanned the length of her dresser, I saw myself and her and told her, " Mom, I wish that Carl was my big brother. " "Well," she said matter-of-factly, "why don't you ask him to be?" Really? It could be that easy? Would he say yes? I got to work immediately on my letter back to him.

It was soon decided that we were indeed family and it did not take long before I started calling his mom, Mom Williams, and his dad, Dad Williams. His sister Linda, was my sister as was his brother Mark and little sister Michele (Mickey). Carl came to my swim meets, my first communion, he was my confirmation sponsor, but what I remember most is meeting him off the football field each week, win or lose, for my post-game hug. He was always there with love in his heart, regardless of excitement of the win or disappointment of a loss, to give a little girl the hug she waited for all week long. My most memorable hug came during a game where Carl got injured and had to be assisted off the field. At the same time, my mom was taking me to the ER for an ear infection. Sobbing both from the pain in my ear and from the fear of what had potentially happened to Carl, we met near the bus in the parking lot. Carl had the trainers let go of his arms and balanced heroically on his one good leg, bent over and picked me up to give me the best hug of my life, reassuring me that it was all going to be OK. These are the moments that help shape our lives.

Carl speaking at Football Camp my freshman or sophomore year in HS

While we kept in touch through most of our lives, there is no happy ending to this story, which is perhaps why I have not been able to talk about it much. I don't have many regrets in my life, mostly because I don't believe they are helpful. However it haunts me that I didn't make it to Carl's funeral after he was murdered. My sister was there and sent my love to my "second family". I listened to her with bated breath as she told me of all the former Shrine players who came back for the funeral, the words they spoke about Carl, the love that filled the room for him, and I grieved. And each year around Christmas I promise myself that I will write a letter to Mom Williams and tell her all of this, but I never do. I don't know what holds me back... my grief, the disbelief, fear, shame; probably all of these things. Today, though after hearing my friend Sean talk about Ibu, I had to write about Carl. I had to let him and others know, that these connections we make with children, with people who often need it the most.... these connections do make a difference, often the difference of a lifetime.

So maybe today reach out to someone and share your hoop and hope that it gives them that moment of joy. Look the homeless person in the eye when you pass them by in the street and say "Hello". Smile at a child, your neighbor, your barista. The simplest act can form a bond that changes lives, and at the very least it may change someones outlook for that moment. We all have it within our power to change a life for the better and therefore change the world. What's holding you back?

Thank you Carl. I love you Brother. This dance is for you.

If you can't view the video please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to see the entire blog.

~~~~~~~HavenHoopDance~~~~~~