Götterdämmerung

My Passionate Love Affair with Kabi Nagata....'s Work

2021-12-26T19:15:00.012-06:00

Before we begin, I would like to say that this post covers deeper subject matters than what usually shows up on the blog: self-harm, alcoholism, hopitalisations, depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and more. I won't get too into details with certain things, but please be aware that these well come up. There's also a letter at the end to the author you can skip once you get there as it's technically the end of the article.
That being said, welcome back and enjoy.

Hello, Nagata Kabi. This is Nagata Kabi. How are you?

Hey, everyone. It's been... a long while, hasn't it? The last time I published something was four years ago, and even then, my mind was running out of ideas on how to continue the blog. There were so many things I wanted to do, so many feelings I was having at the time. I had just recently changed cities to where I am now, and I was feeling stuck emotionally and creatively, but we'll get on that later.

How have you all been? The world has changed so much in only four years, hasn't it? Even now, we're moving out of 2021 into a year that firmly doesn't sound real (2022—I was promised jetpacks and flying cars; what the hell, The Jetsons?). The years have gone by far too quickly while also feeling like they've stretched on twice their length. It's been a wild ride, to put it as mildly as possible. For the first time in a while, I'm looking at the world, really looking at the future, with mixed feelings, but it's far from my usual trappings of deep ambivalence or bottomless dread.

One of the quiet comforts that has occupied me in the time I've been gone has been the autobiographical works of Nagata Kabi (永田カビ). Her name first sparked interest in the English world back in 2016. I remember it being a big deal because publications I read that don't usually discuss anything past Europe even talked about it. I mean, if there's one thing American media likes, it's a "tell-all" or anything that comes close to that equivalence. I've never been terribly big on autobiographies/memoirs, and diary manga only catches me every so often provided that they're more funny than anything actually relatable or personal. I know that line of thought is completely ass backwards when it comes to engaging those kinds of works, but that very firmly sets me as outside the target demographic. I'm sure a lot of things I read growing up is what really put me off on the entire genre as a whole.

But there was something about Nagata's manga that made me want to engage.I think the artwork for My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness and the upfront title might have been what grabbed me so wholly. It said something to me that those two things could be so prominent, and most of the time, people had noting but positive things to say.

I ended up picking through a few articles to read myself and browsing through whatever snippets I could read on Pixiv. I found myself engaged enough with what everyone and Nagata as the creator had to say, but getting actually to read it was an entirely different experience.

Despite my feelings on memoirs as a whole, I do hold some measure of respect for people who can bear to put their most embarrassing and selfish moments out there. It does help break down the illusion of perfection and remind us that most of everyone suffers in some way. And that their suffering and their coping won't necessarily be some ready-for-TV production—it'll just be raw and ugly and honest and theirs. Over the course of four manga and about thirteen-fifteen years overall, we get to see Nagata grow selfishly; we get to see her thought processes, her failings, her dependencies. And it's not always pretty. In fact, especially in her debut manga My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, a lot of it is just brutally, awfully human.

There are so many moments over the course of the series that I find unrelatable, but I still connected with her on different levels. I was never someone that chased after parental approval, but I was overly familiar with the aspect of failing to connect with other people through work or even wanting to maintain my work obligations. But also at the end of the day, this wasn't work that I was meant to relate with in some ways; it wasn't made for me. The fact that I can nod my head and be like "Yep, it's just like that" sometimes is genuinely a bonus. I'm here to engage with this artist on her own terms and walk away with my own thoughts on the matter.

And hoo... Don't I have some thoughts.

In My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, Nagata tells us about her bouts with eating disorders, familial hatred (both perceived and true), loss of virginity in a desperate attempt to grasp onto human connection, and just the struggle of trying to find purpose between work, family, and life as a whole. There are a great deal more that's covered in this first volume alone, but it also covers ten years of her life. That alone can be difficult to summarise, even with the amount of space she's given herself to do so in this work.

One thing that really hit was the random kindness of a stranger when you're at your lowest (or what at the time feels to be your lowest) point. She went in for a job interview, and when they asked her what she really wanted to do, she talked about doing manga. They encouraged her to give it a try. As she was leaving, one of the interviewers ran to the door and said, "Hey! Good luck with manga!" with a smile and a fist pump. I can absolutely understand why something like that was so impactful.

Two or three years ago, I was in a Starbucks close to where I live meeting up with someone, and a couple of his associates just happened to stop by at the same time. We all got to talking; I revealed that I write—dabble really. The older gentleman associate asked if I had anything he could read, and I ended up pulling up something I had on my phone. Before these situations happen, I usually tell myself to bail out of those things and to talk myself out of it and not show anyone anything. Except, of course, my brain absolutely didn't do that and I showed him anyway. When he finished reading the entire draft, he looked at me and said that my writing was "exquisite". I can't remember the first or last time I ever heard something like that, especially with any sort of reverence, and I genuinely almost started crying. Even now, I still think of him and hope that he's doing well...

Through the first manga, you can easily come to understand that Nagata is an incredibly emotional person who doesn't always deal with things well. However, coming off the back of a life of self-harm and eating disorders, you can also understand how difficult "simple things" would be. It's easy to lecture in your mind the "do"s and "don't"s and say what you would and wouldn't do, but when your life has been a series of blaring "DON'T" alarms, you forget how to properly "do" anything, really.

My Solo Exchange Diary (1) kicks off a number of letters that Nagata would begin to write herself. Coming off the back of her success with MLEwL (I'm so sorry for that abbreviation), she reveals how her struggles have deepened in some ways. Her need for independence has gone into a fever pitch as has her loneliness. She contends with the realities of adulthood (living alone, pursuing work, managing relationships, the whole nine) while also fumbling through understanding herself and her own needs. On one hand (and she comes to realise this at a later point), she's incredibly childish and spoiled, almost. But on the other, yeah. I get it. There are a lot of points where adulthood and just living, trying to forge a path you want, especially when no one else supports you, is unbearably hard. You just want to give up in as permanent a way as possible or at least bury yourself under eighteen inches of blankets and forget it all.

When her dad says something that sends her into a quiet freakout (Dad: You're giving me a real case of depression here.), I felt that. You get so used to bubbling up and over, just trying to make it by, and then someone who you look up to/rely on/love/care about/etc. says something like... that when they have no real concept or understanding of that thing they're weaponising... It hurts. It makes you overflow when you didn't think you had anymore emotion to spill. The back and forth struggling of telling yourself to set out on your own path only to fail/relapse back into being in someone else's care—hoo, boy! Yeah, I get it big time. There are a tonne of other themes here that I can only understand from an outside perspective or as a concept, but as a broad stroke, My Solo Exchange Diary (1) helps get into the mind of Nagata as a whole. It's chaotic; it's needy; it's unapologetic (then apologetic, then unapologetic all over again); and it's constantly at war with itself. The latter point doesn't really go away as a whole, but it does evolve! There's progress in her personal story.

My Solo Exchange Diary (2) has me feeling like I'm with her at this point. I actually pre-ordered this one waiting for its release, and so I was really glad to have it going into the pandemic. Here, Nagata tries to connect more with friends, struggles with depression and creativity, and starts to understand what her relationship is with her family. I'll admit, at the time, her evolution with her family in a more positive light felt like an accomplishment to see. I'm usually a "don't just burn the bridge down, set the whole village on fire" sort of person with a particularly vindictive penchant towards family, but I was genuinely happy to see her gain a more mature understanding of her family, their wants and needs, and their perspectives.

This understanding and her warm interactions with friends does come at its own cost though. No step forward with Nagata, it seems, can come without something else spiraling out of control. And I mean... that's sort of the crux of life when you struggle with deep depression. You fixate so tightly on one aspect of your life that it becomes your entire center, but there are other things that have decayed in the meanwhile because they haven't had your proper attention. It's not so much that "Things are always going wrong!", it's more a sad and upfront case of life moving forward even while you fall apart. And life requires so much juggling as it is, even the mentally sound fall apart. So when you're battling yourself as well as well as any and all perceived battles you're going through, there are other things that need as much maintenance and attention just going downhill while your back is turned.

Things do degrade to a point where she has to be hospitalised. It's a voluntary hopsitalisation, so it's not such a dire case that she has to be put there by external forces. But her mother was concerned enough to call her doctor who suggested she go. And to me, I see another point of personal growth in Nagata that she does go. Even when she does feel deep sadness in being there, she does give it a few tries of her own volition. I'm actually very happy her parents (especially her dad, what) ended up being there for her and were supportive during her time there. She has a good doctor and the nurses who speak with her warmly (which is so out of my realm of understanding as an American).

As the cover would suggest and what's sprinkled throughout this volume is how she starts to cope with her sadness with drinking. While I know drinking in Japan isn't really seen as much of anything in most aspects, drinking to cope is still a recipe for disaster. Towards the end of MSED1, I did feel a sense of dread when I saw how much her drinking had gone up (from 500mL to 2.7L!). This volume only deepened that worry. One that was doubly confirmed by her next work, which I pre-ordered as soon as I could. The highlight though, that did fill me with some pride, was that we got to see her fictional oneshot that left a pretty solid impression on me. (I'm rooting for you, Chika-chan!)

At the time of writing, this is the most recent release by Nagata. My Alcoholic Escape From Reality is exactly what you think it is. So lost in her despair, Nagata completely gives into her vice of drinking, and that ends up having a pretty severe consequence. We open up on her hospitalisation where she's diagnosed with pancreatitis. (It started as acute, but from what I'm understanding, it developed into chronic. Let me know if I'm wrong!)

I have the least to say about this one. Not because it's not any good; they're all fantastic in their own ways, but this really is just her recounting her health struggle as well as her back and forth relationship with alcohol. But, interestingly, this also does talk about her attempt to break away from diary manga as a whole and to focus on fiction works only. She doesn't want to bring anymore pain or disgrace to her family, so she tried to push in a different direction creatively. By now, she's in her thirties and is still feeling like she's trying to plot the course of her life. And I get it! I super get that now more than ever.

There have been too many times where I sat slumped in my own skin thinking that I was going nowhere, feeling like I was achieving nothing, and that I was going to die miserably doing whatever it was I was doing. Right now, I don't feel that biting sting of wanting to die as much, but being in that same age range, for once I'm looking at my future with open and empty hands wondering what I should do. I often feel like my younger self would be pretty disappointed, if not outright ashamed, of how long it took me to achieve certain things and downright confused about how I never managed to achieve others.

Her mother and doctor at the mental clinic help put Nagata in a better mindset about her permanent physical lifetstyle change, but it takes a few breakthroughs for her to understand her place as a memoir artist. Reading Disabled with no Physical Disabilities by Sasaki Nonoka, having the words and understanding of fellow mangaka Uzuki Taeko, and emotionally blurting out her own true feelings help Nagata understand the purpose and theme of her work: love and loneliness. It's something that can see obvious to us as readers, especially from the very first manga, but having that sort of self-awareness doesn't always come easily.

Something I've known for years is that I don't do well with interpersonal connections, but this year, the realisation of "I don't understand human experiences at all" hit me with full force, going down to a level of clarity I don't think I have the ability to articulate. There's a disconnect and a dissonance that comes with allowing yourself to just feel that seems... odd to me. I've known that I've never been a social type, but the entire concept was set before me on stage one day, and I realised just how little I fully understood (or even cared for) the song and dance.

... It's probably what led me to quitting my job, honestly, hahaha.

MAEFR does end on a far more positive note than her other diary manga do, and I'm genuinely looking forward to her next work, My Wandering Warrior Existence. According to the official blurb, this will go through Nagata's "exploration of longing for love and marriage." I'm excited in a worried-sick kind of way.

I've become invested in Nagata in a way that, thankfully, hasn't gone parasocial. It takes a lot of guts to be able to put even a fragment of your life out there like this. I'm all too familiar with yelling into an internet void, but there's a special level of deliberation that comes with what Nagata Kabi does that I just... absolutely could never do. There's so much more that's incredibly difficult to cover. There are things that caught my interest (such as her saying how she doesn't feel like a woman/feels dread at being identified as one); there are mixed highlights in her personal life (dating!); the perhaps incredibly odd dependency she feels towards her mother early on (though it does make more sense in some ways when you see it explained) and just— You would really have to read it to get the full experience.

I'm by no means saying that this is an easy read, but I do say that it's best to approach this with an open mind. You will come across some difficult to swallow things, but you do have to engage with this series on its own terms. And remember that you always have a choice to just step away if it's not something you jive with personally.

As for me, I can't wait to see the next part of Nagata's journey and whatever heartbreak and/or triumph that may bring.

Please check out Nagata Kabi's Pixiv and twitter (Japanese only, both). Her next work My Wandering Warrior Existence is being printed by Seven Seas Entertainment, and you can find different links to pre-order it here.

Hey, Nagata Kabi.

This is... not... Nagata Kabi.

In fact, I'm only someone on the far opposite side of the world who's only come to know you in some sense over the past few years. Thank you for all of your hard work; you've really been struggling, haven't you. I understand that things can get really difficult, trying to chase some internal spotlight, trying to have yourself been seen even if you don't really know what "you" will be exposed in the end. Learning how to love and how to accept that love in return seems like an exceptionally tough trial for you. I hope that you can come to understand that in the end.

Your works have helped these past two years; it's made me more reflective, and it's definitely had me rooting for you more often than not whenever you crossed my mind. Sometimes, we do and say things that make us insufferable. We break down and lash out and fall down to our most basic pieces when we don't know what else to do. It's really difficult to look at people who can get up and face the world with a smile on their faces, but don't give up hope. One day, though maybe not every day, that can be you too. It's a challenge to get to that point and maintain it, but these days, even being able to do it at all is its own reward.

Life has been really scary, but let me thank you again for showing us how scared you've really been. I may not understand desiring familial approach, but I understand the hunger and the chase for satisfaction. Sometimes it leaves me starved to the point of madness. But I'm still here—we're both still here. Even though a lot of these things have happened to you years ago by this point, I hope that you can look back at all of these experiences and learn something new.

You've still got that chance. Looking back can sometimes teach you how to move forward, but don't spend too much time looking over your shoulder. You've made progress. Even small steps can feel like leaps and bounds when you've been at the bottom for so long. In 2022, I'll get to learn a little bit more. But tell me:

How are you doing now?

— NIL.

For Our Honoured and Respected Kingsglaive

2017-07-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

It took me a long time to finally set aside some time to watch this. And before I go into the review, let me just say this: this movie is gorgeous. And that is its biggest highlight. There will be some spoiler talk in here, so if you're still interested in the movie, I would say to skip this review. Or only read this if you still plan on watching the movie with the intent of drawing your own conclusions of it.

The movie came out last year, 9 July 2016 to be exact. 2016 was a huge promotional year for Square Enix. They had this, Brotherhood, the Audi R8^*, A King's Tale, and a tonne of other things to help promote the actual game. They were very, very busy, but out of all that, we're going to, of course, discuss the movie.

For those who don't know, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (henceforth known as "Kingsglaive") is a feature length CG movie by Square Enix. The development team behind the film is actually Vision Works. People might know them as the team that made Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, which is one of my favourite adapted movies. The movie tells the political story of King Regis, his counsel, and of these people known as the Kingsglaive, who are a group of refugees who lend the power of the Crystal to keep the country of Insomnia safe during these wartimes.

The total runtime of the movie is 110 minutes, and I will say it again.

This movie is breathtakingly beautiful.

Since the aesthetics for XV and VII are vastly different, there's a bit more colour and even realism that goes to the forefront in the Kingsglaive movie. To me, the sense of scale is a bit larger; the aspect of responsibility and duty and overall investment does feel a bit deeper because these are people used as tools for the government. They, by and large, have no real individual status in the way of class or power. They're citizens through their usefulness. They're refugees who are only honestly treated as such by the noble class.

Now, I'm not saying that I have a real attachment to the characters. Sadly, I don't. I can just understand their backgrounds and their place in the larger world. Kingsglaive's writing is poor on several fronts. The biggest issue is that they try to tackle too many stories and plot points at once. This is easily a 140 minute movie at minimum. If they added more runtime, I feel as if everything would tie together a bit nicely. I know this isn't specific, but I'll try to tackle the movie's writing as best as I can.

They take on too many plot points.

At the very forefront of the movie, you have a war between Niflheim and Insomnia. That much is obvious, and this angle is actually told pretty okay. There's enough explained that you're informed of who people are, what their roles are, and you're interested in their own motivations. With Niflheim, they're way past the stage of political espionage. They're all about attacking hard and attacking strong to get what they want.

The other angle is with the refugees, who are taken in during wartimes. AKA, the Kingsglaive. They're given the power of the crystal to use so long as they're defending their foster homeland. There is dissent within the ranks who blame Regis for being a cowardly king and abusing his power. There are those who are upset about the way that the war has gone, naturally, and who reject their lot in life And so, the Glaive is split into three parts.

This is where things become complicated. There's the rebel force; there's the traitorous task force; and there's the heroic Glaive. The rebel force and the TTF are essentially the same thing, but their desires are different. They both want King Regis' regime to end or change; they both want to stir up the classes to make things their version of equal. But the Rebels work down low, trying to break everything apart. The TTF want to keep the power of the crystal to become something more than rats.

They don't seem to be with Niflheim or Insomnia; they're just the unseen third party who want to shake shit up and use that power. And then there's the heroic Glaive. Honestly, there's only about two people even in this category, and they're Crowe and Nyx.

And that brings us to:

The character writing isn't great.

It's best to say that they're, on the whole, under developed.

We don't/can't get attached to Crowe. Lunafreya is darling, and honestly, I like her a lot. The way that they write her as fearless, headstrong, and dutiful are actually well done. She lacks a very outward personality, in the same way Ignis does (to me). They're dutiful and stoic people. But there doesn't seem to be much of her past that. She doesn't react one way or another to her fate. It doesn't even seem as if she has much of one either. I'm going to give Square the benefit of the doubt and say that that was their intent. That this aspect of her is something they want(ed) to explore in the game.

Nyx is pretty solid; we get him pretty well. He is who he is. He's very much the typical protagonist who basically laughs in the face of death time and time again. He has a very Danny Glover "I'm too old for this shit" kind of way about him sometimes.

Niflheim people? Done well. I'll admit that. They're clearly "the bad guys" from our perspective. Bunch of dicks, really and truly.

But then……… We get kind of short changed on everyone else. Yes, we have the traitors, the obvious red flag bad guys, but then I feel we get robbed of the impact. What happened to Crowe? What did they do to her? The way that they describe Crowe's fate doesn't match up with what we see. What was their ultimate point in taking her out; who did it; and also why? Did they know they couldn't fit her to their cause? If so, why didn't they try to take care of Nyx the same way?

I get what they were trying to do with Libertius, but with so much of his character, I don't feel like… there was enough to him somehow. He betrayed his duty, but he still gets the heroic save the day moment to help turn things around. I feel like his guilt or his understanding of the situation to help turn things around just felt kind of like "Oh well, he should be useful in the third act." versus something that was actually… good.

This movie has a lot of complicated characters, but it's not easy to try to capture them all in that short amount of time.

The reveals aren't very strong.

And this could play in part because of how they tried to take on so many plot points. There's enough there to help the viewer understand why people are doing what they're doing. But at the end of it, all I could say was "Uh-huh, sure, dude." The big reveal left me wondering "How?" more than anything else. I wasn't shocked in a good way. I was honestly a big confused.

The Glaive wasn't given a lot of attention outside of Nyx anyway. We followed him around primarily, so when so people came out of the wood works as villainous, all I could think was that I expected it, but I didn't entirely understand why they were a particularly evil asshole. I don't like secondary exposition to catch the audience up. Just show it; don't tell us.

Fast paced.

Since this movie is only 110 minutes, life comes at you fast, friends. Especially in the third act. It's unfortunate because there are consequences to everyone's actions that start playing out. There are action scenes that are amazing. They're beautiful but a bit confusing to keep up with. Vision Works does an amazing work with their CG action.

The unfortunate thing is that since Kingsglaive moves quickly, you can see from a narrative perspective where things could have been tailored or shifted to tell a stronger story.

My final thoughts?

I don't think Kingsglaive is a bad movie, but it's a far cry from a strong one. It's not well told; it relies too heavily on one character without giving us a full understanding of why he's given the nickname he has. There's one initial moment of heroism, but afterward, we have to just assume that he's going to live up to that name. I think the movie sets him up too much without playing too much to the other characters.

I enjoyed Kingsglaive, and I can definitely see where it's lacking. It's beautiful and rich in a world of equal endearment. The characters are rich and organic, but they're not captured to their fullest potential. The motivations elude us all too much. There's enough of a foundation there to get us ready for Final Fantasy XV, especially with the post credit film which is incredibly charming.

There's a lot of potential in this movie. It's decent; it's crafted nicely, but it lacks heavily. I think that's a shame because with the right amount of polish, this could have been a breathtaking piece of work. That being said, I do suggest you pick up Kingsglaive and watch it for yourself. The cast did an amazing job with each of their characters, and Square & Vision Works did put together something that is to be respected.

All in all, this is a solid 6 out of 10 movie. I think we should at least appreciate their efforts, and as they gave us a lot of good but not always great content, I can see where they tried and put a lot of passion into their current installment. The passion, I believe, is something to be admired.

^* Also with the Audi R8, I want it more than anything; it's not just because it's Final Fantasy themed, but because I'm a huge car person and that car is sexy.

June 2017 Community Game-Along: Puzzle Games

2017-06-19T14:00:00.000-05:00

So, I haven't talked about games in… oof. Wow.

In a very long time.

But, I've come back to the gaming world—mostly! I've dusted off the olde Steam account, and I've nuzzled up with all of my beloved games. I haven't had a chance to play through my library in a really long time, but I've returned just in time for a fun event.

Anne Lee over at Chic Pixel has been orchestrating a "community game-along". You can view whole schedule here! It's a monthly affair, and of course, you don't have to join. But if you do, you get to read a lot of what other people are playing and/or what they love to play. If you haven't guessed already, June is #PuzzleGameMonth. And y'all.

I. love. puzzle games.

It's absolute in my top three and five genres. I may not seem like it, but I'm pretty adept at a puzzle games, specifically 2D, brain exercise puzzles. One such game that I want to talk about with you is LYNE.

LYNE is a colourful indie puzzle game with Overwhelmingly Positive reviews on Steam. I feel it deserves it totally and completely. While the game offers no original soundtrack, it does have a few ambient noises while you play that you can turn off at will, either from the main menu or the pause menu.

There's honestly so much to talk about with this game! I don't even know where to start, ah.

The presentation is incredibly simple and visually pleasing. The entire game can be summed up as stylishly minimal. The main menu is pictured above, and this is what it looks like when you pick a set of puzzles to play. They're listed off alphabetically. Due to my limited play time, I've only made it to puzzle set T. (-~~coughhumblebragcoughcough~~-)

The A set is very much a tutorial set of puzzles, so you can understand how the puzzle solving style works. There's a very easy rhythm to follow, and thankfully, it does get more complicated as it goes on. Your main objective is to create a constellation of like shapes. In the beginning, the most complicated thing you'll have to do is to connect a two double outlined triangles. If there are other triangles on the map, you'll have to pass your line through all of them in order to complete the puzzle. In more complicated steps, you'll have hexagons that allow you to pass numerous lines through the space at once.

Sorry if that doesn't make much sense, but hey. That's what pictures are for.

This may look like nonsense now, but I guarantee that if you get to play this game, it'll all make sense in time. While there's no real "start" or "end" to a puzzle, once you start finding your personal rhythm in the game, some puzzles will make you feel as if you'll have to "work backwards" to solve them. The layout between puzzles does change and adds a nuance of variance with each thing you solve.

Aside from the satisfaction of completing puzzles, you can get some achievements and earn things in game. For example: different palettes! There's the default one, and you can unlock the others after beating a certain number of puzzles.

You can also win… secrets. If you play and beat the daily challenges, you can also get more. But I'm going to level with you. Look at this.

I have no idea what I'm looking at. Do you? If you've played the game, I just want to be assured that there's a payoff. I'm sure that if I keep playing, I'll discover the mystery myself. (Which, honestly is the fun of it all).

The daily challenges are fun. I haven't gotten more than two at a time myself (not that I recall). You're told what level of puzzles you're dealing with. If you deal with the normal sets regularly, the daily challenges might not pose much trouble for you.

Once you solve one puzzle, it glows bright white and slides to the next puzzle. There's no loading time in between puzzles. The only time it will pull you out of the game is when you complete an entire set. This is a common thread with normal puzzles and daily challenges. However, do not despair, it is possible for you to back out of a current puzzle without losing your progress.

In the upper right corner of each puzzle, there will be a triangle pointing down. If you click that, you will see the navigation screen.

From there, you can click:

• Resume to continue where you left off
• End to exit out of the current puzzle and go back to the set screen
• Turn on/off noise

Again, there's no time limit when you do puzzles, so this isn't much of a pause menu. Though, you can still click it and get that placebo effect you need if you feel particularly frustrated.

I've said a lot about LYNE, and the only thing you can do now is just go experience it for yourself. I highly recommend it.

LYNE is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux! Check out the official website. Get it on the Google Play Store, App Store, or Steam. Also, be sure to join the community game-along. Whatever you do, remember: tell 'em GDR sent ya.

REC·COMIC·DATIONS • Thicker Than Blood

2017-06-16T14:00:00.000-05:00

How the hell have you been, GDR fam? Oh my good grief— it's been ages. I have tales of things that I have experienced and seen and fought and conquered. I have crossed rivers of broken wood, dilapidated stone beds, and empty Patreon halls— But instead of all that, we're going to talk about another comic that I've literally been a fan of for years. Are you ready? Because here we go.

Thicker Than Blood is an ongoing webcomic that takes place in the 17th century where demons and humans co-exist. The story revolves around a young man named Salvador, a royal soldier of The Five Crows. Of course, things are not quite as they may yet appear in the city of Pendulum.

Comic tags: Drama, Fantasy, Murder Mystery
Stats as of writing: In Progress – Currently on Ch 5 Pg 52

Setting: ext. Pendulum, evening

Someone with David Bowie pupils is stalking up to a woman under the street lamps. The woman is a damsel, well dressed in black with a head of thick, blonde hair, blank, unblinking eyes, and a snub face. They crack an axe against the back of the woman's head and— oh wait. It turns out that she's just a puppet. Just as the would be killer has this realisation, enter: Salvador, who has set up a trap to catch the infamous Body Snatcher of Tailor District.

The introduction gives you a small glimpse of what to expect. There's a bit of drama and dry humour in the first meeting between Salvador and the Body Snatcher. As you go on, the fashion becomes simultaneously more beautiful and ostentatious.

I have two things that I adore about the art direction: it's dated in a very rare and painterly way. It's breathtaking to see. It has a very classic feel to it, and it's incredibly appropriate for the period the comic takes place in. Another thing that I adore about the style is that even though it's so graceful, the characters are still incredibly expressive. Sometimes, the punchlines are delivered just through their expressions alone. It's really great.

Thicker than Blood was first uploaded on deviantArt on October 28 2014. And it's been going strong ever since. If this is the kind of thing you dig, I would definitely say to check it out. Go for the art, but stay for the story.

Thicker Than Blood
Read on Tapastic	Read on deviantArt
View the Gallery.

Isobel (artist)
Support on Patreon.	Follow on twitter.
Follow on Tumblr	Like on Facebook.
Follow on deviantArt.

REC·COMIC·DATIONS • Long Exposure

2017-02-03T12:00:00.000-06:00

I've been gone for a while, but this time, I have an excuse! One: I've launched a Patreon. It had a kind of soft/quiet launch, so I haven't promoted it past twitter and (kind of) tumblr. Second: I've started a new series! That's right, my dear friends. GDR finally has a new series called Rec·Comic·Dations, in which I talk about comics (print and online) that I enjoy. No negativity, just good ol' goodness. So let's jump into this first one.

Long Exposure is an ongoing webcomic about a nerd and a bully who are forced to work on a class project together. The story revolves around them developing super powers after an incident at a strange research center, and finding themselves followed by a mysterious car, overcoming personal challenges, and (most importantly) discovering how gay they are for each other.

Comic tags: Drama, LGBT, Superpowers
Stats as of writing: In Progress – Currently on Ch 3 Pgs 81-87

Long Exposure starts off at Sellwood High School where we meet our protagonist Jonas, his clique of 'nerds', that lovable doucherod Mitchell, and his ragtag gang of bullies. Mitchell is a textbook bully. He dresses tough; he gives flagpole atomic wedgies; he threatens authority. He's all crooked grins and sleeveless shirts. He's hard rock, dear friends! Don't mess with this guy. Jonas has been on Mitchell's radar since middle school, the poor guy.

Jonas just wants to stay out of Mitchell's way and get through school, but fate (and academia) does not allow such a thing! Mr. Newman is assigning projects at his class. Jonas arrives late, and his project partner ends up being Mitchell. Oh, how cruel the high school life can be.

I love this comic because it has a rich set of characters. The bullies aren't quite what you expect them to be (though one of them is the human equivalent of a rabid squirrel), and there's something about Mitchell that reminds me of a childhood bully that became one of my good friends (still not entirely sure how that happened). By now in the story, the two have their superpowers and things haven't got intense yet.

However, with Mitchell's reckless and unpredictable behaviour, I expect for things to get really intense. Jonas is, of course, someone who wants to get through his day to day with as little drama as possible, but getting tangled up with Mitchell is going to make his life a lot more complicated.

When it comes to the art, I love the expressiveness of all the characters. Everyone has personality, and they don't even have to say anything for you to really understand who they're about. I love and respect that a lot. As far as the romantic leanings, there are hints of tension, but nothing that's incredibly overt right now. It's building up in that direction, and if you're interested, I highly suggest you check it out.

Long Exposure
Read on Tapastic	Official Website
Official Playlist	Fan Blog

mars (artist)
Support on Patreon.	Follow on twitter.
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Pour Me a Yuri!!! on Ice

2016-12-21T14:00:00.000-06:00

Yuri!!! on Ice is unequivocally one of the most popular anime to come out in Q4 2016— if not this entire year, honestly. Most of the reception has been incredibly positive, and there have only been a few nitpicks here and there about the overall theme of romance within the show itself. ……But honestly, a lot of it is unnecessary discourse. Also, Congratulations to it being the first anime I started and finished in the past… year. Thank you to Anne Lee over at Chic Pixel for the 48 hour CrunchyRoll guest pass, so I could watch the finale yesterday!(๑¯♡¯๑)

I've been interested in figure skating for years; it's been a silent interest of mine since childhood [I'll be posting about another one before the year is out, hopefully] and has always been one of those fantastical things that I never thought I could actually indulge in, in spite of already playing several sports back then. Figure skating is one of those sports that focuses so much on technique and encourages a stylised and personal approach to elegance. Despite the silly costumes, the competitors are fiercely loyal to their craft and incredibly disciplined. When I was growing up, figure skating wasn't really on the radar of many people around me. It was solely considered a feminine hobby, if it was even regarded at all, so it's nice to see something like this become so popular and bring fans of the sport, new and old together.

But enough about waxing poetic about ice knives and silly leotards, what about the show? Well. I'm glad you asked.

There's a lot of hype surrounding this show, and in watching it, I believe I can understand why. In the first episode, we're introduced to our main character Yuri Katsuki. He's a cutie, no doubt! But he's coming down after a recent bout of failings and he's not feeling too hot. He even walks away from his idol distressed that he's not worthy of the time. We're introduced to Yuri and his coping mechanisms very early on, which I think is an interesting way to start off the series. When Yuri gets home, the issue of his weight is brought up. It isn't in a degrading manner. In fact, his father off-handedly says "You've always gained weight easily", which is good to know that this isn't an issue that's magically going to go away during the series. If anything, he continues working out and staying on his game. He even avoids, not willingly of course, his favourite food item to keep himself in shape.

It's interesting to bring this up as a character (and athletic) trait because many people struggle with this. I respect that people even know that this is just how he is and how he's always been. Victor (the secondary character) even takes this information and accepts it. There is outside teasing/call outs, but as far as Yuri's own personal feelings go, he doesn't seem to be fazed one way or another. He's just aware of his current weight. He never brings up his weight, though other characters do. Episode 1 also draws an interesting parallel between Yuri's back-to-back and Victor's back-to-back success. However, regardless of Yuri's weight and in spite of his repeated failures, he's still a competent skater.

I love how Yuri starts off very polite and passive in the series, soon growing into someone who desires to be watched, who desires to prove something new to the world, but at the same time, he's consistently someone who will shrug off a person that underestimates him or is overly hostile in a conversation. He does it with a smile. When another Yuri (soon established as Yurio) is asserting where he wants to sleep, main cutie Yuri shrugs and says, "It's not like you care what I think" while smiling. It's not a trait I often see with other primary focus main characters. There are plenty of hilarious moments that I would be remiss not to add.

The show manages to capture the wonder and amazement that I feel whenever I watch figure skaters. The animation does have some inconsistencies here and there, but it doesn't take away from the overall experience. Animation wise, I think the only thing that "bothered" me was the fact that people's lips would get randomly glossy/pink, and I'm like, "Uwaaa! Too intimate!" I was easily engrossed into the episodes. When I finished the first one, I said, "…Dammit. Now I've gotta watch the next one." The show has a lighthearted but memorable atmosphere as in I can walk away without feeling the desperate need to walk more, but each episode left an impression.

I appreciate that the show normalises things. Even though people point out Victor is a foreigner, no one makes a big deal about it (aside from calling him a handsome foreigner and all). The characters will use phrases from different languages without comment. Romantic influences or crushes aren't singled out as anything worthy of dialogue. Public displays of affection, especially when it's being broadcasted, has the expected response, but as a whole, this is the type of narrative that I greatly appreciate, because the ultimate focus of the story is learning about oneself and about achieving success. Manufactured tension for the sake of 'story' doesn't exist while whatever existing internal or external conflict feels very real.

This show tackles many themes without making a great big show about it all: self-confidence/self-esteem, success, public perspective, motivation, and so, so much more. And it doesn't just focus on Yuri's personal problems, you get to see the dreams, expectations, and tribulations of everyone else, though not to the full extent. Yuri!!! on Ice has such a rich cast. It makes you want to learn more about them. This is one of those anime that could benefit from a slightly longer season. Because it was only twelve (12) episodes, there were issues with pacing here and there. I believe that if they gave more depth, they could have gone the old school 25-26 episodes. Even if they gave less than that but a little more than what we currently got, it could have gone to 15-18 episodes easily. It would give it more time to breathe, and we could learn so much more about everyone else. Even if it doesn't go very far, it would be more than a taste. However, this does not take away from the good of the anime, and the fact that they still managed to pack it with good content, pacing issues or no.

Another thing (there are so many "other things") that I think this show needs to get respect for is showing us personal growth with Yuri. And I don't just mean in the obvious ways, I mean as far as personal perspective goes. He believes that he's fighting his battle alone; he believes that his failures are his own and that he must triumph over them alone. He believes this in spite of being in a loving environment, in a loving town where people know and support him. People are still excited to see him in spite of his earlier failures (they ask to shake his hand!) But when Victor, someone new to his life in a personal sense, interjects into his world unannounced, he's forced to grow. He doesn't take it with grace; in fact, he stumbles through it and that's what I like about this show.

One thing that I love about sports anime isn't so much just the nostalgia or the closeness that I have with the sport in question (I played…… a lot of sports as a child), but it's feeling proud of a character's personal growth. The characters in Yuri!!! on Ice don't mince words, and I love Yuri's personal sense of determination. While I found the ending of the first season was lukewarm and off-paced, I'm looking forward to the start of the second. My mind is already roaming around the numerous possibilities. I can't wait for the announcement.

As a whole, Yuri!!! on Ice is a really good show with lovely characters that have heartfelt goals. It's a really nice way to slide gracefully back into the world of sports anime. And speaking of which… When it comes to sports anime, watching them is about being invested in character tribulations and in the people around them. There's a connection, and when you watch someone struggle and continuously get back up, when you watch someone struggle and stand by them, when you watch someone's honest, overwhelmed reaction to succeeding…

I think that's true eros. See you next skate.

Ultimate Ultimatum: DATE OR DIE!!

2016-11-12T14:10:00.000-06:00

It's been a bit since I've talked about an indie game that I was super stoked about. And this year, I have two! One of which I will tell you about right… n–

Date or Die!! is a thrilling visual novel where the main theme revolves a dating reality game show where everyone plays for keeps. What's to keep? Your life, of course! The game consists of a colourful LGBT cast and a dynamite, sadistic host. To quote the creators: "In terms of inspiration, think Flavor of Love and The Bachelor meets Danganronpa!" Boy oh boy. I can't wait for the full version of this.

Date or Die!! was created using Ren'Py, and I love the game's UI design. It brings that added level of charm to the game's theme and overall execution. In the demo (the "Pilot Episode" slash Demo or Die!!), you play as Hero, and you can choose between two different characters to interact with: The Host, the smarmy - well - host of the game show, or Mesmer, the protag's childhood friend.

The game does have multiple endings, two for each if I remember correctly, and it's worth seeing both. The Host has the more dramatic differences between endings, but with Mesmer, you get to understand more of what the characters are thinking/feeling in this situation. The interactions are unique and eyebrow-waggle-worthy, if I do say so myself.

The Pilot Episode does come with music, which you can adjust in the preference menu. No sound effects or voice acting just yet. Perhaps there will be in the future. In the full version, you'll be able to see the whole cast of six unique contestants (who you can see on the start menu), learn their struggles, and maybe - just maybe - kill them. Or date them. Who the hell knows in this wonky world! The game is still in development, and there's no estimated release date as the developing team isn't working on this full time.

However! If you want to play, swing on over to the Date or Die!! itch.io and download it. It's available for both Windows and Mac! I'm eagerly awaiting the full release of this game. If you end up playing, I hope you're just as interested as I am.

Head to their official web site (updates are a bit slow here!) or follow DoD on twitter. And remember: tell 'em GDR sent ya!

I Have a Liebster Award! (ↀДↀ)✧

2016-11-07T10:07:00.000-06:00

In all my… ten years of being on Blogger, I don't remember being given this award. When I was a lot more networked, when I was far more active than I am now, I gave and received a couple, but never more than that. So this is my third award in all my years here. I think that makes it more precious.

I was nominated for this award by mchi. over at MCHIouji. mchi spoils me a lot, haha, so I can't say that I'm entirely surprised by this. (Even though I'm absolutely bowled over by having gotten one anyway.)

Check that out, ain't that pretty? Now, mchi has been kind enough to leave some questions for me to fill out. If you're interested in that and my nominations, join me under the cut!

Read questions below or scroll down to skip to the nominations!

1. Is there a work of art—be it literature, painting, photography, etc—that has really spoken to or stuck with you? I'm a little embarrassed admit that there has been something in almost every medium that has moved me in some way.

2. If you could go back to any time period to live your life over again, which would it be and how would you live in accordance with the time period—i.e. what job? societal standing? I think about this question a lot. I always think I would go back to the 16th - 18th century and try my hand at being an aristocrat, but in those same periods of time, I feel I would just be a quiet little mage living in my home, scribing pages for coin and what not. Ultimately, I would probably trade it all to be an alchemist, haha.

3. Is there someone, outside of family and friends, that you look up to? Why? …… No. I don't really think so. Not anymore.

4. Everyone has a bucket list, but what if you could cross only three items on your bucket list? What three things on your current bucket list would you most want to get done? My bucket list is very small, I feel. It's go to Aokigahara, go to Norway, and meet a certain man who I have a lifetime crush on, hahahaha. It used to be a lot bigger (one was to sing in Japan), but now it's very unrealistically small.

5. What makes you happiest or most content? I'll get back to you on that, haha.

6. What is your biggest insecurity? I guess just being alive at this point is an insecurity for me.

7. What is your number one bragging point? I'm funny. I don't care who believes it, but I'm hilarious.

8. If you could be any fictional character in any fictional world, what character would you be and in what world? STOP. Because all my answers are Final Fantasy related — or I would be Mugen from Samurai Champloo or I would be Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji. There are just… I have too many answers to this question!!

9. What is your current guilty pleasure? -scratches lip- Final Fantasy XV? Just because I feel bad about how excited I am for that game, haha.

10. What is your feel-good thing? (The one thing—music, food, activity, etc—that picks you up when you’re feeling down.) ……… Why are these questions so hard!!

11. What is the most stereotypical ‘nerdy’ thing you do / participate in? Writing fan fiction, I guess? Or writing programmes. Err, either way.

Now to my nominations! I'm going to this a bit more "old school", meaning I'm doing this a bit more in the vein of when I first saw this award. I nominate Mei at Ice Pandora, Anne Lee at Chic Pixel, Michelle at Seaweed Kisses, aaaaaand Yuku over at yukulicious!

Here are the quote-unquote rules that I'm setting forth.

If you make a blog post about your award, you must include a picture of the award at the top or bottom of the post.
Talk a little bit about what got you into blogging in the first place. It doesn't have to be a full story, but a little summary of your blogging history (-snort-) is good enough!
Nominate other bloggers who you'd love to see get more attention! (And let them know!)

Copy the link for your own Liebster Award!

Thanks again to mchi for passing along this cute little award!

Fredbear and His Spin Offs

2016-09-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

So the news has come out that Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location will be coming out on October 7th. That's the rumour in the grapevine so far, and if you haven't seen the trailer yet, do check it out. Dear Mr. Cawthon himself has said that there won't be further trailers. We'll just have to make due with what we have, and I personally enjoy rewatching it.

For those who aren't aware, I am a big fan of the Five Nights series. There are a lot of fan games out there, and I do have my favourites. I won't be able to get into them all, of course, but I still wanna chit chat for little bit about them – let's do this.

Five Night at Wario's: This is one that I haven't played myself, but this is a game that I still enjoyed the look of. It does have its share of flaws, but it is a good bit of fun. I enjoyed the voice acting in FNAW3. I don't need professional voice acting. As long as it adds to the atmosphere and/or the other person is giving their all, I'm here for it.

One Night at Flumpty's: As you know, this is probably my favourite FNAF fan game. (FNAFFG? No? I agree.) I've done a review on it and its sequel. Flumpty-Dumpty is an egg who can transcend time and space and is immune to the plot. Don't we all wish we had such a power? This game is fully drawn and animated, which is such a signature touch. I haven't seen any other FNAF games that have animated theirs. To be fair, there are hundreds and hundreds of fan games, so that's not really a proper assumption I can make.

Five Nights at Candy's: Wow. This game is really clean looking. The animatronics are new and adorable, but of course, in true FNAF-style fashion, they're cute but deadly. Like a visual fart. …Probably not the most welcoming comparison. FNAC takes place after Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria has closed down, and so this new restaurant has risen to take its place. In entertainment? In terror? Be sure to find out the lore of it all yourself. FNAC3 is currently in development.

Those Nights at Rachel's: A 3D terror town. This game takes place at Doug and Rachel's, a direct competitor to the Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria franchise. So, the layout of your office is different, but there are still animatronics running wild. I'm very curious as to why – but maybe one day that will be discovered in the story! There's a sequel, but it's currently in the works. So, we'll have to stay tuned. Also, sidebar: Nikson has such a clean style when it comes to his creations. I really appreciate the work that he and his team put in!

TJOC-R: Its full name is The Joy of Creation-Reborn. This game has a number of changes since its creation, which makes sense. TJOC-R is still in early access, but you're able to play the game while it's in development.

Final Nights: And finally, finally, to wrap up my list, you have Final Nights. The first one has been taken down but is in redevelopment, I believe, under the name Final Nights: Redux. FN is a reimagining of the FNAF series, and I really appreciate what it does. The models look great; the storytelling is pretty solid. Much like many (if not all) of the FNAF games, you'll need to get used to the actual mechanics before you feel you can make any progress. If you like, you can start from the second one (Sins of the Father), or you can wait ever so patiently for the first one's redux.

Some are hilarious in their own right and shouldn't be taken awfully serious like Five Nights at Fuckboys. And there are bad ones, jumping into the hype. You can't get better if you don't fail sometimes, so hopefully people can just use their fan games as a building experience. Personally (I've been typing that a lot), I think that creating free fan games are an important way to learn how to develop and build one's skills. Plus, you can get feedback, especially if you're signed up on communities like GameJolt or itch.io.

If you want to see more, Rock Paper Shotgun has compiled a list of 1139 (yup!) FNAF fan games. You can find more and even play a few on GameJolt. Have fun and remember: tell 'em GDR sent ya. See you when Sister Location comes out.

Check In: Vrb Headphones

2016-09-15T14:00:00.000-05:00

Back in 2014, I received an email from Julie Pham of Vrb Headphones. I don't remember approaching them, but apparently I must have as the email literally starts wtih "Thanks for taking interest in our blogging needs." Huh.

Interesting.

But anyway! On September, I ended up writing a blog post about their Kickstarter campaign which you can read here. I did the promotion because I was very impressed by the Kickstarter and the product and writing a post was something of a remainder for me to get the product myself when it came out in full.

At the time of the email, Pham told me, "We don’t have any headphone samples ready to be sent out for review since they're still in pre-production." Makes sense. At the time, I was mostly interested in the campaign. Plus having a timeline as to when the headphones would come out of pre-production was very helpful for future check ups quite like this.

Unfortunately, this check up is not a good one.

I've been thinking about the headphones on and off for a year or so now. With everything being hectic, I never had a chance to full on go into what's been going on with the campaign. So let's do a refresh.

The Vrb Headphones Kickstarter launched on August 27, 2014 and had a goal of $16'000. On the 29th, they were already 66% funded. That's incredibly with such an ambitious goal of $16k, especially for headphones.

Now where I come in. I was emailed on September 8th in 2014. I ended up posted the blog entry on the 14th. The campaign was still running strong and had a backing of $36'319, which I corrected as of September 20th. I just want to say that I was not a backer. I was not promised the final product in any way nor did I ask. This was me extending my interests out to what seemed to be an all around well marketed product.

From what I can see, they did continue to provide constant updates to their backers on their Kickstarter. Even though their product was fully funded at $50'518 on October 24th, they still posted updates all the way up 'til April 27, 2015. This is when things start to get a bit muddled.

Their update titles became less cherry, even posting 'Lessons Learned' on December 19th, which does not bode well from an outside perspective. Since I didn't back the product, I can't tell you what was exactly said, but seeing a similar title ("The Lessons We've Learned") on April 27th the following year does not bode well. It's important with every Kickstarter to learn new things, especially when dealing with manufacturers and distributors for a very specific, original product.

However, when I saw the Apr. 27th title, I had a feeling in my gut that this product was forfeit, even if the blog content within doesn't explicitly say as much. If you go to the comments section, a large majority of the most recent comments, one even as recent as a few days ago, has proven my suspicions correctly. A number of the comments say that a lot of the headphones have been given in the wrong colours, that the parcels weren't able to properly pass through customs, and other such complaints. Many of them say that there are zero responses from anyone on the Vrb team.

Sadly, I'm not surprised. There are people out there who give crowdfunding projects a bad name, regardless of how nobly they start out their campaigns. When the complaints started filtering in on their page, it's very possible they tried to swim through the complaints and concerns, but ultimately it shows that they gave up entirely. The only people I feel bad for are, of course, the 433 who were taken for a ride and can't even get their money back.

It's impossible to get one's money back from a Kickstarter campaign. One way I could see them integrating a system is having backers rate the campaign after products were supposedly shipped out. If the complaints and ratings were mostly in the negative, Kickstarter could create a hold charge on the payout account. Of course, that would also insist that you would be unable to remove your payout account (like a bank) while your campaign was active and you had to have a verified account. If your campaign received highly negative reviews after your product shipped out or you went X amount of months without delivering a product, there would be a charge on your account.

Unfortunately, this is merely a thought. I could see that being a messy, hard to implement, hard to enforce, and creating a lot of financial issues for all parties involved. Could it work? Theoretically, yes, but Paypal has proven that the dispute system is full of holes. At least with the way I'm thinking, the refunds would have to be by majority opinion. Unfortunately, again, this is flawed because it's an all or nothing sort of deal. Either the whole is happy or the whole is not happy in a sense.

But I digress. Vrb Headphones is a Kickstarter horror story common to its type. People and companies fall through with their promises and get away with the money. Crowdfunding, in a way, feels more like we're rewarding the bad guys, but I know that's not the case. Kickstarter, Patreon, GameWisp, and other crowdfunded sources are a great way to get creative people where they need to be. There are people out there who want to take advantage of this system and have as we see here with Vrb Headphones.

Since there hasn't been much media movement with the campaign since 2014, it's hard to actually get a hold on the situation at large. We can only tell through the campaign's comments that there are tonnes of people who are incredibly unhappy with the situation.

Their twitter page (@VrbHeadphones) has, unsurprisingly, been deleted as has their Facebook and Instagram pages with the same handle. Julie, who entered me into this suspect world of Vrb, hasn't used her twitter in 2014 (an account that I will not directly link to, but you are free to find it on your own).

I hate that this will not be the last time that something like this happens, but I can only hope that, in the future, there are steps to prevent campaign runners from repeating these types of situations. Instituting the same painstaking financial breakdowns as they do in grants would probably only serve to drive people away from the process. Unfortunately, I don't have answers, but I can hope that there one day will be.

Remember to research and ask questions when you can. If your gut says to not trust something, listen to it and dive as deep as you can. Maybe sit back and watch for a bit before making any final decisions. In the end, all you can do is be safe out there and be financially responsible.

My deep condolences go out to those who supported this campaign. Take care, y'all.

Aaah Nostalgia – New Retro Arcade: Neon

2016-09-03T16:12:00.001-05:00

If you haven't guessed already, I live vicariously through Dan's YouTube channel.

Huzzah, and thanks for making it through another personal, quote-unquote emotional personal post previously. If that entry no longer exists, you dodged a bullet. Let's continue!

Digital Cyberberries, great name by the way, has absolutely nailed it on the head with this one. They put out New Retro Arcade: Neon on August 1st, and I'm telling you. This is an absolute beauty. If you watch Nerd³'s video posted above, you get to see a humourous walkthrough of the entire area. I'm someone who grew up with arcades and Dave & Buster's, so this really brings back great memories, but what also makes this amazing is the customization.

If you have any ROMs on your computer, you're able to upload them to the custom arcade boxes. You can also change the look of the machines using PNGs, which – oh man. If you've ever wanted to have your own customized arcade machine, consider this your step closer to greatness. Plus, this is also cheaper. I feel as if this could be a great tool for retro game developers, you know. You could test your game on two fronts: through an actual arcade and with VR. I know there's a bit more technical bits to go with it (so, so much more technical), but that's just my wishy-washy approach on this game's derivative IDE potential, but enough of that.

Another thing I really like is that you can also upload files or link via YouTube to play videos on the virtual VHS tapes. (Fun fact: I still own a bunch of VHS tapes. They're all in storage right now, but soon, I shall procure a VCR and play the tapes of old. It's gonna be great.) You can walk around single player, but there is a functionality to play this game with six-person online multiplayer. This is really good if you have friends you're far away from, or if you want to do something late at night without actually going out.

Don't worry; if you don't have VR equipment, you can play this game without it! So don't let that stop you; at least take a browse, watch their Steam videos, and let your nostalgia make the decision. If you've never experienced an arcade playground, hoho! This is a good way to experience it. It does lack the ambient noise of other players, but if you rather like it that way, then hey. Even more reason to look into this.

There are some features still in development, and I absolutely believe that this is worth checking out.

New Retro Arcade: Neon is available on Steam for Windows with HTC Vive and Oculus Rift support. Check out Digital Cybercherries' OHP. Once again, please visited Dan (aka Nerd³) on YouTube, twitter, and Patreon and show him some love. (Watch his Patreon video, by the way. It's bloody brilliant.) No matter where you go, remember: tell them GDR sent you.

My Final Fantasies: My Love Affair With Square Enix

2016-08-25T19:52:00.001-05:00

Quick life update: I'm not back. Not yet, not completely. I recently moved to Texas at the end of last month. I really love the city I'm in. Unfortunately, I'm also going through one of my famous crises, and so instead of sitting in the middle of the shit tornado – a few turds off from the direct center – blank eyed and completely numb, I decided to talk about something I care about.

Aah, yes. What a colourful imagery to jump into today's topic with.

Since this is a bit off an off the hat post, it's just gonna come out without any real scheduling, but let's kick the dirt for a bit and talk about Square Enix.

I'll never forget the years before the merge when Square Enix was still the creepily-whispered-by-a-child-in-the-middle-of-the-night SquareSoft. Square Enix (or Squeenix as it's been hilariously referred to by the fans) publishes one of my all-time favourite series Final Fantasy. I love Kingdom Hearts and Tomb Raider (that, actually, being another – specifically pre-remake TR), but there's something about FF that really scratches an itch and throws me into a creative fervor.

The first game I played was Final Fantasy 8. It actually is one of my favourites in that entire series. Not just because of the bonkers banana sauce, quasi-traumatising ending, but because of something Squall said in his internal monologue while at Galbadia Garden with the others:

“Will they talk about me this way if I die too? Squall was this and that. Using the past tense, saying whatever they want? So this is what death is all about…”

And then shouting, out loud, "I will not be talked about in the past tense!" That has stuck with me for years. I think about that regularly because it's such a powerful moment that defines Squall's otherwise noncommittal, detached, and honestly hard-to-satisfy character, but that's also what made me fall in love with Squall as a character from that moment until now even. Squall and I share the same fear of death, and I think that when he was having t hat monologue was grasping the sheer weight and reality of living and dying. Again, those moments brought me closer to Squall.

Some time later, I ended up playing and finishing Final Fantasy VII in its entirety. I fell in love with the entire world. Where VIII has a very tangled, but still very interesting, world revolving death, magic, and time travel, VII has something a bit more straight forward as far as time-progression but easily just as fucked up as far as overall world. Vincent ended up being my favourite character who's entire life ends up getting ripped from underneath him, and then there's Cloud with his obvious identity crises.

But not only them, I ended up enjoying everyone and their own individual struggles, calls to action, and personal investment in this overall quest. VII grabbed me in different ways from VIII, but together, they ended up wrapping up my entire life and giving me more faith to pursue the series.

Of course, FF isn't without its faults. Final Fantasy X-2 is still my greatest adversary as far as sequels go in this franchise, and we all remember the initial failure that was Final Fantasy XIV. But Square Enix has a formal in making characters that are beautiful, far more interesting than we first understand, and in making an overworld that is rich with lore and detail.

Which launches me into my next point — you can already imagine what I'm going to talk about.

I'm excited about Final Fantasy XV and the Final Fantasy VII remake. I rarely talk about them. For some reason, it's been a literal struggle for me to talk to anyone else about FFXV. Strangely, I don't see many people in my immediate or extended circles talking about the remake, which for me is primarily awesome. Let's break this down into two quick parts.

FINAL FANTASY XV —
Full disclosure here? I think FF15 is going to be beautiful. I think it's going to be a very in-depth game that tries to get the players more involved. Now that the characters talk to each other while walking around and in battle, now that it's possible to trip over your companions or synchronise an awesome combo, now that there is more and more, I expect FF15 to be delightful to play. I've written my fair share of stories in the FF15 universe, thinking about the numerous interactions between players, companions, and the world, and funnily enough, I feel like a lot of my fantasizing isn't too far off the mark.

Usually, I don't get this hype about a game, especially with the way gaming has gone with AAA developers, but there's a lot of good reason to get interested in FFXV. And plus, Square Enix has brought back the good old fashioned practice of playing a demo. A public, non-press related demo that anyone who can access it can play. It's great! There's a great deal of transparency with this game and its development. Also, it's been delayed for two months? Personally, I think that's great too.

To me, that shows that they're invested in having the game work as its supposed to and putting out the quality that they promised. I don't expect them to hit the nail directly on the head, but the fact that they're taking extra time to make sure this game is polished is a bravo and a hand shake from me. I've heard less than favourable things about Kingsglaive, their most recent movie, but I wasn't really sure what to expect from it in the first place. If I had one thing to say about FF15 so far, it wouldn't even be about the game. It would be about the promotion surrounding the game. It's hefty, bordering on overwhelming. They're trying to hype up the game, which I think is endearing because they're excited about this game. They want to bring positive attention and get other people hyped about the game too. In them doing this, however, I feel like I can hear their hypothetical hype man screaming from over the ocean.

But that's just me. I just hope they can deliver on all of this exhaustible but positive hype.

FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE —
To be honest, I don't have a lot to say about this game. I will say that you can see that they've evolved. Where I disagreed on Final Fantasy X & X-2 needing a remastered edition, Final Fantasy VII clearly needed one, and this looks like what a remake should be. There's one cutscene that has Cloud talking to someone, then turning his head, raising his hand, and slightly curling his fingers.

(1:01 - 1:05)

We can see how far they've come, not just with graphics, but in how they're able to bring these characters to life, in how they're able to infuse characters' personalities with their body and them as a whole with the world around them.

There is a degree of imaginative loss when it comes to an upgrade in graphics, but I feel as if the remake preserves that atmosphere we've come to know and love from long ago. Since a lot of their focus is set heavily on FF15, there's not a lot I feel I can say right now. However, I'm very much interested, and I want to see more with what they do.

I'm not sure how I feel about it being episodic. It's hard to tell who's using it more as a gimmick/excuse, and who's doing to properly unfold the story. Do I feel that VII should come out as an episodic release? Absolutely not, but this game is still in development and there's still a lot more for the devs to say about it. So, until then, I'll just sit back and wait. There's no reason to formulate a thought just yet.

Square Enix has got me pretty bad, but with everything I love, I can be incredibly critical. I've been critical about Square Enix for years, but when they get things right, they really nail it. I'm honestly hoping for their success with these two games in the FF franchise. Right now, I've been playing a lot of Final Fantasy Record Keeper (review long in the process, hopefully will be out soon), wondering how this game would expand if they ever got XV involved.

Only time will tell, and personally, I'm pretty happy to wait.

Now That's Incredibox

2016-05-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

Look at what I discovered at literally three in the morning. There's this incredible music web site called Incredibox, and I instantly fell in love with it. I mostly talk about things that I really enjoy on this blog, but truth be told, it's really hard for me to instantly like something, especially for a long time, but I really feel like this has something special.

Incredibox is a way to "express your musicality". Their words not mine, and in truth, I think it's pretty genius. You get a choice between instruments, percussions, effects, choruses, and beats. You drag and drop what you want onto a guy that slides on your screen, and bam! You get to hear the results in real time. Each musical choice you make has a different loading time because it's going to sync with the other choices you made in your mix track.

There's so much to talk about. WOW! We might as well dive under the covers for this one.

Incredibox is incredibly fun way to make music (seewhatIdidth–). In V1 "The Original", the characters you get are in basic black and white. Their T-shirt area fills up in black with the symbol that you drop onto them.

Above is my first attempt at The Original. SPOILER: Unlike the others, V1 doesn't have a share or record system, so if you want to replicate my track, please feel free to emulate this image!

As you can tell from their flattering faces, the characters actually make the sounds of what you put onto them. It's pretty neat! When you unlock a certain combination, the bonus symbols light up. I got the first and second ones on my first try. The first one matched up with what I was making. The second one, not so much, but it was cool either way!

V2 "Little Miss" is a step up from The Original. It's still in black and white, but now the characters are topless. When you drop a new effect on them, their clothes change accordingly. Now there's more personality! V2 also introduces the recording and sharing functions. This makes it much easier to spread the love. You can actually listen to my V2 mix track here.

Again, so absolutely flattering.

V3 is called "Sunrise" and now we're getting a splash of colour to match the outfit change. Also, the outfits give you an understanding of "genre" when it comes to your music choices. The symbols, while pretty – exceptionally so in V2's upgraded UI, are replaced with genre attire icons. You can listen to my V3 mix track here.

"The Love" makes up V4, and it changes up a few of the things that you got to know in V3. The outfits have changed as have the music choices. You can listen to my V4 mix track here.

As with V1, there are bonuses, but they're a mystery to figure out. You'll just have to have the right combo to discover them! I so far have discovered none.

Here are some of the more technical bits to know about Incredibox. You don't need a perfect ear for music, but you will need to have your computer up at a pretty decent volume. Headphones, I will say, would even be a bonus. Some of the choices are a bit more subtle than others, so while the melodies are perfectly audible at 20% volume and lower, some of the beats will go unheard.

When using the record function for V2 - V4, you will have to record for a minimum of 10 loops. There are 40 loops maximum that you can record for, but you must have a minimum of at least ten. Otherwise, you will get an error message and your current track will be erased. Unfortunately, this is still an issue, even with The Love which is a 2014 version.

Also, here's another thing to know when it comes to recording. Starting and ending the loops where you want isn't a precise science, so you'll have to do your best to guess where it might start or where it should end.

You can download your own track after you've hit the minimum. The file exports into WAV format. You fill it with your email address, your DJ name, the mix name, and a line for dedication. I'm not sure if the dedication has to be just that, but I've dedicated my tracks to my friends (the fam), my sense of self, and life.

Incredibox encourages users to share their mixes. Feel free to share mine on twitter; @ me if you want me to listen to yours or comment them down below. You can also download my pseudo album called MAYself, dedicated to my new chapter in life/current moving plans.

Here's the MAYself tracklist (by me, your DJ, DJ SAGIM):
      1. the afternoon ride to town
      2. Saturday's Mistakes
      3. DISCOVERED myself

You're free to use any mix you make with Incredibox for personal, non-commerical projects and even student projects. Please, please be respectful of that. This is an amazing thing and has a very educational foundation.

I recommend this 150% this; it's is so much fun, and it allows me to create music that's purely my style that I can drill into my brain by playing 150 times a day.

If you want to be a part of this, please check out Incredibox's home page. Follow the creativity on Facebook, twitter, and YouTube. You can download Incredibox on the App Store for $2.99 USD (which sounds like a great idea), and while you're at it, go show Incredibox's online store some love.

Link drops all around, but y'all, I really love this product. It's such a wonderful idea, and I just want to be part of spreading the love. And remember: tell them GDR sent ya.

Virtual Realty is Stranger than Fiction

2016-04-27T20:33:00.000-05:00

Or perhaps, it's more amazing. Consider this to be me gushing about the future of technology, my expectations, my excitements, and so on.

Due to how things have shaped up in the past two years, I haven't been as up on tech news as I used to be. However, I still catch wind of some things every now and again. This time, I learned about what is essentially the manifestation of my dreams. Believe me or not, but virtual reality is something I've always desired as a kid. Along with my hopes to pursue genetic splicing and help setting an academic foundation for giant robots, of course. You know, kid dreams.

But thanks to Dan aka Nerd³, I'm feeling particularly emotional.

Here's Dan's video on Tilt Brush. Underneath the cut, I'm going to start crying. So I hope you're ready. Hand me some tissues and bring a few bottles. It's been rumoured my tears have regenerative properties. Or was it degenerative? Can't remember – take a gamble.

As is evidently shown to you in the video, Tilt Brush is a 3D painting application developed by Google. It was released April 6th of this year. I can't give you a full technical breakdown of this product because this recently just came to my attention, and I myself don't have a VR set. Dan does explain his set up within the first few minutes of his video. So if you're well versed at sped up British or have really good ears, you'll be able to get that information. [Dan's great though. Super shout out to him.]

I won't lie. I was honestly moved when I saw this. As I've expressed, this sort of technology is the byproduct of my dreams. Blame it on anime and reading one too many sci-fi novels, but this was everything. As I grew up, I – like many others – got to see the advancement of touch screen technology. In the past eight or nine years, holographic and projected technology has been getting more polished. (Even hover! I see you, Tony Hawk.) It's hard to describe everything that this means to me, but just know this.

It's exciting, and it's amazing.

Let me reduce my excitement to just a video game scope. This can have an extreme impact on creative and immersive play styles. Dan's video gives an example of "creative": painting, clothing design, cartography, etc. Oh, god. Designing clothes in a 3D realm. It would be remarkable. "Immersive" falls solely on video games. Something like this would be a hit with FPS and horror games, but this would be amazing for espionage or RPGs. Of course, there would have to be a bit more control, so incorporating Wii U mechanisms and tighter wrist straps would be ideal.

People create amazing things regardless of the medium, and this could be an amazing and relaxing outlet for people. Sitting, standing, kneeling, laying down in bed! You don't have to be incredibly mobile. You can creative serene landscapes to calm you down or something big and explosive because you're feeling a certain type of way. Anything and everything, and you can see it form in a realistic scale right in front of your face. It's amazing.

Thank you, Imgur, for making this gif possible. First take is on MakeaGif.

And I've seen game developers start to take advantage of VR tech. My sources have always been from horror developers, but they're all bringing interesting aspects to the table. The worlds are sized realistically; the atmosphere always has a particular mood. You feel as if you're actually there, and the audio design is amazing. Sharp as a knife. You, as the player or viewer, feel properly threatened. Mechanics wise, some of them are lacking or overly ambitious – but the fact that they're trying and they're getting pretty honest feedback is incredible. I would love to see this technology used in games with turn-based combat, something that has magic! Or even in something like Rainbow Six.

There's so much that can be done for interactive reality video games. Of course, we, as a gaming society, need to understand what games are actually safe for VR and which games are better off without.

I have a lot of hopes for VR; I can't say that I have any expectations as of yet. The tech, despite being around for a decent time, is still in its infancy as far as successful products. Developers are always trying to brainstorm what they can create, are willing to have their products tested, and receive feedback from participants. They're still building. However, something like Tilt Brush reminds me that the product doesn't have to be extreme and huge in scale. It just has to offer a decent variety of actions, an interactive environment, and work well in what it does.

You can have a game where you change your outfit in a very Psycho-Pass kind of way or go into Skyrim, climb a mountain, and watch the sky change. (Watch out for random bandits trying to bludgeon you over the head.)

You can read a bit more about it on Google's official blog. They have a twitter and Facebook, but they don't seem to be all that active. But swing on over to the official home page for a product showcase and you can pick it up now on Steam if you have a VR headset.

Again, I would like to give a really big shout out to Nerd³. He's been one of my favourite YouTubers for some time, and he's made me laugh sometimes when I didn't think I could. Check out his channel; follow him on Twitter, and even show support to his dad over at Dad³ on YouTube.

And remember… The world is amazing. Our scope of creativity is boundless, and if you take a moment to let clarity set it, you'll be floored by the things we have made and continue to make. I know that this is hilariously cheesy coming from me, but stuff like this makes me fall in love with the world. And I'm so glad that I spent years and years of my childhood writing my pseudo academic papers, drawing my inaccurate blueprints and diagrams, and answering questions no one would ever ask me. I'm glad because someone out there believed in that possibility and made it real. It's validating. It's wonderful; and it's fucking revolutionary.

It's Okay: No One Has to Die!

2016-04-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

Moving woes! I'm the closest thing you'll get to a nomadic life… I hope. Also, I have enough rants about writing to keep you all satisfied for the next year, I swear, but no excuses!/more on that later. I want to talk to you all about a game I played earlier in March.

no-one has to die. was created by StuStutheBloo. I've heard about it for a long time, but I never took the chance to actually play it. The image above is the starting screen. No title, no splash screen. Just this. Simple. Beautiful. And here is the actual size of the title screen.

It wasn't until last night at way too early in the morning that I decided to give it a go. I am really, really in love with this game. It's very short. You can play it all in about thirty minutes. As you can see, you start off at the very top and then you branch out with the various story lines. Playing as just one of the characters isn't quite enough, and it's definitely worth it to get the full story.

I always started watching other people play it, but I never watched a full let's play. I probably watched the first two or three minutes of game play, and I finally decided to just jump right into the fray myself. I'll admit, it wasn't what I expected. I thought I would be able to play just one path and be done with it, but then I got sucked into it. I became interested in the characters, and I, as the player, felt like an actual part of what was going on.

It's awesome! The game is short and sweet, and I walked away with a great impression of this all. I got to learn more about the characters and felt my opinions of them change as I played. I definitely recommend this game.

Check it out and form your own opinion of it. Play on Kongregate, on GameJolt, or here on Newgrounds.

GDR Book Club: The Vampire Lestat

2016-03-12T13:00:00.000-06:00

This was a gift given to me by a friend. I haven't had a chance to read it until about January.

Anne Rice has a way with imagery and characterisation that makes me melt. Since The Vampire Lestat is a first-person account, it's incredibly intimate. That works to the book's credit as it's very easy to get immersed. I was thrown into Lestat's life right along side him. I shook my head; I disapproved. I was emotionally swayed, and most of all, I was taken away by Lestat's way of speech. My good friends, I have fallen in love with Lestat de Lioncourt. (Even while writing this, I realised that my full name would sound amazing with 'de Lioncourt' at the very end, hoho!)

To quote Lestat himself,

Dear God, this is love. This is desire.
And all my past amours have been but the shadow of this.

So true. So true. In any case, I ended up admiring a lot of Lestat's character. He's perfect, childish, and emotional. He's youthful, rebellious, and clever — there are honestly so many ways to categorise him. On top of that, everyone else is just as interesting. There are times in a character's "autobiography" where the main character completely overshadows everyone else. There are times when Lestat is second banana to other people in his life. Every encounter is unique or memorable in some way. It's so very well done.

"Beautiful" and "love" are both words that are overused within this tale, but I've gathered a new appreciation for them, you know? In the way that they're used, it's given me a new perspective past their base definitions. The conflict is raw – right on the tongue. Ghastly sometimes! I really appreciate this book because there's no limit to the sadness and pain that they all face. It's very interesting how they all deal with it.

There are conversations on good and evil, the meaning of immortality, the dealing with it. Oh, the dissections of humanity as man and vampire. Stuff, basically, that I lived off of as a young'un right in my hands between 550 pages. It's good stuff.

I really recommend this. I'm incredibly happy to have read this and to have someone to share this experience with. A friend of mine read The Vampire Armand. I plan to follow suit. I haven't read Queen of the Damned yet, but I watched the movie. Let me just say this:

Grave misnomer/poorly titled
99% Lestat
Who the eff is Jesse.
Why, why this Jesse.
Horribly written
Nonsensical
To this day, I still don't know what it's pretending to be about.

I don't know if I'll ever really do a review on it. I think I might just stitch my tweets together about it and make that a full length post instead. Bene. If you do watch it, read this and then watch the movie. I would love to know your response.

Check In: Lenovo A820C+ Smartphone

2016-03-10T13:00:00.000-06:00

Remember this thing? Aah, it was so shiny and new before. I reviewed it in a previous post (where I mistakenly labeled it as a A850C+). As stated then, I bought mine from Alibaba.

Let's say that I have a long, long history with this phone for the short time that I've had it. I was so, so excited to buy it and to finally have it. I can acknowledge that I have a chronic problem with buying my technology aesthetically. After doing all of the research, I will harshly evaluate whether or not it will fit into my desired look. I know. It's a pain. It really worked against me this time.

Before my original critique of the phone was its horrible volume control. To be fair, that's still a terrible issue it has. It goes from 0 to 11 in three clicks. It's incredibly annoying and even a bit startling. As you can guess, that has changed greatly. But let's do some pros and cons.

Pros
Sleek in design	Physically Customisable^[1]
Initially responsive	UI Customisable^[2]
A+ Coverage^[3]	Amazing Wi-Fi reception

Pro #1: The phone comes with two different backings. One is the smooth back with the logo on it, and the other comes with its own cover for the phone. I've been using the cover since day one, so it's incredibly worn. Plus! The cover acts as a little stand for the phone, another reason I use it so much. You can actually see the plain back in the previous review (or just click here).

Pro #2: The customising the UI was incredibly fun. It works well with LINE, my mini icon app, and later on my APUS launcher. Some things didn't work as well with the type of phone I had, but since I have an Android, I found a tonne of work-arounds.

Pro #3: I had T-Mobile for a short while (RIP, my financial stability). The A820 worked really well. I never had a problem with crackling, dropped calls, or anything like that. The only problem was, again, sound, but that'll be talked about soon.

Cons (After Long Use)
Lags	OS wigs out
Nonexistent Help	Sound
Viruses	Poor camera
Deadly Factory Reset	Flimsy Battery Life

I actually have a dozen and one critiques for this phone. It does not age well, unfortunately. I'm very professional with my phone. I always use it to text, look up something, or make notes. I try not to make calls for very long. And it would make sense why that would drain my phone.

But that's not what was draining my phone.

For a while, this phone had a spectacular battery. Even with T-Mobile, LINE, and twitter, it was doing pretty well. I tried not to overload my phone, because I hate the way battery heat patches. But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go in order.

We're hitting all the fine points.

Con #1: Oh boy. After a while, the phone would start to lag. It took a couple of times for it to respond to my tapping, mainly in accessing all of my apps. I'm not download heavy when it comes to my apps. I even deleted some of the heavier ones after I lost ~~my money~~ T-Mobile. The lagging happened early in 2015. It was very sudden and no amount of cleaning could fix it. (Probably also red flag number one.)

Con #2: On top of the phone lagging, the OS would not work properly. Sometimes it would go back to the home screen in the middle of me using an app. It would freak out when I'm viewing my most recently used apps. Apps would have trouble opening. You get the picture. Also red flag number two.

Con #3: When I was looking up problems related to my phone online, there was practically nothing. I found a lot of Android related questions, but nothing specific to my phone. That's my fault, yup. I fell in love with the Lenovo. I am so sorry, past me.

/!\ When you're looking up a phone, pretend you need to do some troubleshooting online. Google "troubleshoot [phone make and model]" and other problems related to your specific phone model. This will give you an idea of how easy it will be to fix problems on your own, how badly you'll need paid tech support, or if it's worth getting at all. /!\

Con #4: You know my issues with the volume control, but that's just the general volume control. When having a phone call, sometimes it would be really frustrating. It wasn't a problem I often had, but if someone had a naturally low or soft voice, I could tell. I've almost hung up many phone calls out of frustration. It's not y'all; it's my damn Lenovo.

Con #5: The viruses are hella sneaky. I've gotta give them that. The warning flags set me up for something pretty bad. The viruses set in a factory preset apps, so they were hard to remove. Even after installing a root uninstaller and jumping through hoops, there's one that is still there. I'd be happier with my phone being bricked. To be honest.

Con #6: Compared to #5, this is nothing, but the camera quality is extremely lacking. It's on par with my iPad (and that's a gen. two). It's a harsh sort of bad. Unless I switch out the camera, there's no give. There's no app I've found that can compensate. Y'all, even in good lighting, it's bad. Just. Just go sit down, Lenovo. You're tired.

Con #7: As I was saying, the battery life was amazing starting off. So much so that I almost put it as a pro. But as time went on, the battery life was suddenly horrible and unpredictable. Sometimes, it would be fine and other times not. Even after deleting my battery-draining apps, it would still fall short. If I left it alone, it would turn off on its own. Sometimes, I would turn on my phone after that, and it would still have 20% battery life. Understandable, sometimes phones do that to save power, but there have been times when I've plugged it in and get 60-65% batter life. Or it would drop to that 10-20 minutes later. So I. It just. Augh. You understand my frustration, yes?

Con #8: Saving the best for last. I've had to reset my phone a number of times between September 2015 and January — a ridiculous amount — and it's actually because of the first two problems. When the virus set in, I finally had to do the unthinkable: factory reset. By this time, I didn't care. I had moved all of my photos around. I wasn't using my phone for anything important anymore at this stage. It could barely handle looking through the photo gallery. At this point: the phone was just as done as I was. No. Kidding. It went back to the way that it was, but now. I can't even describe the pain.

Viruses are still there.
APUS and base launcher are overlapping.
The UI freak out is worse to the point of being self-destructive.
Apps are downloading on their own, so I've activated airplane mode almost permanently.

This is a drop in an ocean of absolute bullshit. Fun times for me. I have a main phone that I use, but the smart phone was a step in a better direction. It was appropriate at the time, which is why I don't regret the purchase itself. However, from a technological stand point, it cannot stand its own. It's absolutely worthless. Now I'm left with the very thing I bought it for: the aesthetics.

Honestly, it's funny to me in a way, so I can hardly be mad. You know, objectively. When I'm not wanting to throw the damned thing. I wouldn't waste my time with this. And if you do, be careful with the seller.

You can also go to my imgur album for the Lenovo A820C+ unboxing.

Prince Not-So-Charming, Galavant

2016-03-06T13:00:00.000-06:00

Aaaaah— What a charming little show. It's really hard for me to do a review about Galavant. I know just that it's one of my favourite shows right now.

One of my roommates, M, was the one who told me about this show. She was on YouTube browsing around and came across some of Galavant's first season clips. She told me about it, and we looked it up together. The first season is available on their YouTube, but each episode is $2.99. Considering the first season is only eight episodes, that's actually not bad at all.

We did end up watching all of season two on Hulu. Allow me to repeat myself: "Aaah, what a charming little show." Galavant's a self-aware musical and heroic tale. The jokes are smart; the cast can sing very, very well. The characters are written wonderfully. Timothy Omundson's in it. If you've seen Psych, you know him as Lassiter. Here, he plays as King Richard. This man looks really good with a beard. Like, wow. Look at him.

(from IMDB)

Look at this suave. Look at that hair.

The songs are catchy as hell too. They stick in a way, but thankfully not in a way that would drive you completely mad. Out of the entire second season, there was only one song that I didn't like/felt could be better. It was a rock princess sequence. Man, that could have been so cool.

One thing I do like about Galavant's story telling is that you don't need the entire first season to grasp what happened. You can actually watch some of the clips on GalavantVEVO and get a good recap. But there's still the mystery of how everything went down. I want to watch the world be set up; I want to get the full grasp of character developments. I want it all – and that's the sign of a great TV show. I'm satisfied, but I'm not complete. O Galavant! What torture you put me through.

Anything thing I like is that the show doesn't try too hard to be funny. The jokes are delivered with such ease, and it's all very subtle. For me, Galavant is a good comfort show. The second season ended recently. It's only ten episodes, and each one is half an hour. It's a very easy and quick show to marathon.

You can watch Galavant season two on Hulu or ABC Go. If you like musicals or just self-aware comedies, I really recommend checking this out.

The Macbook Struggle

2016-03-04T13:00:00.001-06:00

[ pictured from L to R: Adapter A, Adapter B, Adapter C]

[ not pictured, currently using: Adapter D ]

My Mac was given to me as a hand me down during my school days. Fun fact: it was originally won at a work raffle! I actually used to be a Windows user until about 2010, when my computer malfunctioned and died completely. My Windows was a Vista, and it would have been really expensive to replace it.

I've always enjoyed Macs though, since I was in middle school. My school had the interesting predicament of only having updated computers in their library. Every other system was behind or nearly outdated as a whole. A lot of people complained about the difficulty, but I was always interested. When this MBP was given to me, I was pretty excited (especially since it was already loaded with stuff).

I have four different chargers for this Macbook Pro. As stated in the under-picture caption, the pictured adapters are A, B, and C from left to right. The one I'm using is Adapter D. This is just to minimise confusion some.

My first charger is Adapter A on the far left. The jack is a Magsafe 1, but it fit perfectly. I believe those were in more abundance at the time this MBP was sold. They're a pain in the ass to try and find now (especially for a decent price). Not gonna lie, when I first got my MBP, I was fascinated because the adapter's magnetic. My eyes widened, and I kept pulling off and snapping it back on. I'm very in touch with my child like sense of wonder.

The outlet cord is two - three feet, and it's actually attached to my new adapter. The main body of the adapter stopped working in…… early 2015, I think? That's a pretty long time, but that's also something I'm used to. I've never had to replace my laptop cords. Actually, my computers were more likely to break than their adapters/power cords were.

I bought the second one, Adapter B, to replace the first, and it worked for a little while. According to my Amazon receipts, I bought it March 28, 2015 for $18 on the nose. So yeah, it lasted a decent amount of time. The tip of the cord underneath the metal bit just started fraying away and eventually, the inner wires snapped. I was pretty disappointed, but I knew that I couldn't afford a new, decent cord yet.

I didn't intend to buy the Adapter C. The current one I'm using was supposed to be my third, and hopefully final, purchase. I bought Adapter D from BatteryArc but accidentally bought a Magsape 1 charger instead of a Mag2. I had to do an exchange, and that took a bit longer than I expected it to. Since I was one a deadline, I bought the pictured Adapter C from Amazon. As you can see, it's the exact same as Adapter B, except this cost $25.09 instead of just $18. It was supposed to be a temporary replacement, and it very much was one.

I bought the charger from Amazon on January 20. One month and nineteen days later in the early morning of Feb. 29th, it bit the dust. Don't buy Singo 60W Power Adapters and rely on them as a main source of power. They work best as temporary/substitute adapters at best. You can also replace certain parts if they malfunction if that's your bag. It's very much not mine because they're very weak. Approach these with a F.O.R.D (fix or repair daily) mindset.

I did receive my final cord, Adapter D, from BatteryArc, so I didn't have to spend more money.

One thing that I hate about Macs/Apple products in general is that they are incredibly expensive to repair and incredibly fragile. There are many things that I love about my Macbook Pro, but I can see many things that need to be fixed in regards to the market surrounding them, but that's a long and wordy argument for some other time perhaps.

I've only had to replace the hardware for my Macbook once in all the time that I've owned it, thankfully, but it still needs a new battery. That's going to be a chunk out of my pocket. The adapters are most expensive part of my MBP ironically enough. Even though the hard drive was a $300 investment, that's (ideally) long term. I'm keep dropping money on short term solutions, and that can quickly build up. I've already spent $68.28 on three adapters!

I won't have to buy another power cord myself as I have a 1 year warranty from BatteryArc (bless them), but I might juuuust in case to be on the safe side. (Call it paranoia; call it a gut feeling.) In spite of these equipment hiccups and hardware/software obstacles, my Macbook has been a great companion. I've gotten used to using Mac as my primary OS. That being said, I'm still looking forward to the day I get a Windows again as well. I still keep up with Windows news and have cursory usage of the OS through my community center and friend's computer. But that's a dream for the far off future. Right now, I'm in with my MBP for the long haul.

Let's LVLUP!

2016-03-01T13:00:00.000-06:00

Happy March 1st! Guess who's jumping back into the fray. And with music at that. It's been a while since I've listened to pop music, especially in English. So let me just say that I was incredibly taken aback when I listened to this group. Now that I've revealed that, let's talk about LVLUP.

I ran across this group because I was blog hopping. Turns out, a blogger is in this group, whoa! I decided to give their video Beautiful a listen, and it's really… Well, let's just say that the title is appropriate.

The members are Lilin, Impa, and Victoria. Turns out they were part of another group Lovelipop. Ohoho! The things you discover while you're writing a post. I remember Lovelipop; I listened to a couple of their songs. Very bubbly and candy sweet. LVLUP doesn't have the same flavour of sweetness. In fact, I think they've matured into their own style.

…… One could say…… they leveled up.

I only have two pretty small issues. Lilin's voice sounds auto-tuned. It does subtract from the full power of her voice. The video is well shot, but the editing washes out the girls, mainly Impa. Regardless of minor nitpicks, I ended up repeating their video several times. The video is very casual and dream-like.

The song definitely fits that dreamy, casual style as well. It's easy to grow into, and it has a romantic feel. If you like love songs, it'd be a good idea to listen to this. The beat dragged me off to a meditative state and really relaxed me.

They've also done a few covers which is on their YouTube. Their English cover of BAE BAE and their Japanese cover of Do You Love Me. (DYLM is actually how I found out they were in Lovelipop!)

Took me a few times to get nice screenshots because I am pro at catching the blurriest frames. Truth be told, I'm proud of them. I don't know them personally, but they've been in two groups and seem to be doing well for themselves. They definitely have a lot of potential to do something, and I'm rooting for them. I would love to see some behind the scenes videos from them, especially for this video.

Be sure to visit their official home page and YouTube channel. Their first single dropped last year in August, but if you like their sound, be sure to pick it up on iTunes.

Oh, and remember: the world is beautiful. ♫

March 1st - The Comeback Begins

2016-02-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

Hope y'all are having a good leap day. I'll see you tomorrow.

Season's Greetings.

2015-12-25T17:46:00.002-06:00

Hey, y'all. I just wanted to say Happy Holidays and thanks a lot. 2014-2015 were absolutely wild, and I would like to think that I've grown a lot during that time. I'm still technically on hiatus while I get myself together.

But I wanted to thank you for the years of being here with me and giving your support. Let's hope that 2016 is a lot better for us all: more productive, more fun, and a lot more honest.

I'll see you all then, yeah? Feel free to contact me on twitter whenever! Be safe out there!

Rotatio: Just Keep Spinning

2015-08-08T13:00:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about this new game I'm really into. It's called, very simply, Rotatio.

I'm always in the market for more mobile games. I'm always wandering around with my iPad, and I have a terrible case of idle hands. I think I found a game that's frustratingly good enough to keep me occupied.

The game is very simple. You just need to pass your ball through each gap to clear the stage. The catch to that is that the ball moves pretty quickly. There are balls on either side of the gap that will cause you to fail if you touch them. Even if you pass them, they linger for a second or two, so be careful not to hit them during this time as well.

The music easily gets you into the zone. If you don't want to hear it, you can disable it on the main menu [pictured above]. What can I say? This game is really cool! Again, the premise and execution are very simple, but don't let that lure you into a false sense of security. The game is very high paced from the get go. Don't be surprised if you make a few mistakes starting off.

This game both relaxes and frustrates me. I know that that's an oxymoron, if not just straight up contradictory, but it works out in the end. The game's rounds can pass by rather quickly, forcing me to push on and go forward. At the same time, I need a break after ten minutes of intense level grinding. It's that deep. There is a built in exploit to the game that I won't tell you about. I'm sure you'll be able to quickly figure it out on your own though.

To its own extents, this should be called "Micromanagement: The Game". Every little move you makes slides you about on the rod and can increase your own pacing. You've to be careful where you move and for how long as that can severely alter your timing. It's a challenging game by its own inherent right, but you, as the player, can make it more so.

While I do enjoy the game, here are some things that I've noticed. The "downs" of the game, if I can really call them that. One of them is that you can't access the main menu from the score screen. You have to go back into the game, pause it, and press the menu icon. It's not difficult, but it feels a bit out of the way.

Another is that the ranking icon doesn't work from the score menu. I haven't tried it from the main menu yet. The star takes you back to the app store. I believe that's for reviewing + leaving good marks.

I like this game. It's brutal, unforgiving, and remembers a time when games were hard. I'm not very good at it right now, but I'm definitely getting the hang of it all. I recommend you guys play it. If you do, feel free to share your score!

Rotatio is free and available on the App Store for iPad + iPhone.

App: PEAK

2015-08-02T13:00:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I gave you guys an app recommendation, and the sad thing is that I've had this sitting and waiting since January. You have no idea how long I've been ~~putting aside~~ writing this review. But you know, much better late than never in my case! -nervous laughter- Ahem. Continuing on.

I've been trying to get more use out of my iPad these years. Since I've gotten my [semi-defunct] smartphone, I haven't been giving it the attention it deserves. I still use it for a few games (like Blendoku) or crying over the fact that SYMPHONIA no longer works. But I shall cry no more, because I've added PEAK into my ranks.

I first downloaded the game on January 14th, and I've been playing it since. PEAK is a brain training that helps you work on memory, mental agility, wordsmithing, and problem solving. I need help will all of these, I feel like. Since I've first started this review and in the time I've been playing, they've added more games for you to play.

The app itself is free to download and free to play, but if you want to play more than four games at a time, you need to get the pro subscription, which honestly isn't that bad. Regardless, four games a day shouldn't leave you wanting for too much. More on that in a bit.

One of the things I like about the game is that you can choose to have friendly reminders. You can set up a reminder for yourself in case you want to stick to some sort of schedule to play the game. The time, the days — it's all up to you. Whatever's convenient for you is your PEAK schedule. When you get to the reminder screen, you have the option of skipping it altogether. To me, though, that little feature is very important.

The interface is very clean and simple and has a steady flow of updating. If you can convince yourself to stick to a schedule, you can really benefit from the exercises. I've coupled the PEAK exercises with reading books, and I honestly felt better about my mental strength. Something that you need to keep in mind is pacing. Don't try to complete all the exercises in one day if you can't. You have until midnight to do the daily exercises, and you can play them over and over again as many times as you like.

However, the exercises can be merciless. It could take you 200 plays to level up, but it could take you six mistakes to get you knocked down. That's right. You can get knocked back down. It's not a play on your intelligence, so please don't believe so. If you try to force yourself to complete or do better in an exercise, you might make a bit more mistakes. By nature, some exercises are just harder to level up in. It's not about constant, instant repetition. It's about steady progressing and advancing. These exercises are made to match you to provide adequate challenges.

Available now on the App Store.

Let's Watch: Vampire's Kiss

2015-07-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

I don't do a lot of Let's Watch posts, because I tend to write my reviews after I watch the movie. But in this case, there was no way I could possibly wait to get this one out there.

Vampire's Kiss is a 1988 classic starring Nicolas Cage. If the name isn't familiar to you, then surely the infamous meme face is. That image alone should tell you about the magic you're about to see here.

Brace yourself. This is going to be a long post, and there are spoilers ahead. (Duh.)

Warning for spoilers, repetitive superlatives, and being overall link heavy.

The first ten minutes of the movie are unabashedly entertaining. The acting goes from stuck up to drunken at the drop of a hat (and the slur of some words). The movie begins with Peter Loew (Cage) stretched out on his therapist's (I wanna say, vinyl) couch, talking about some woman he just wanted to "get the hell out". His therapist (a distant cousin of Rue McClanahan) has a case of the scratchy throat, and the camera slowly zooms in on her.

They're playing the pronoun game because we don't really know who "she/her" is that either are talking about. Loew takes a moment to stare off into space, and then there's a really abrupt jump to a booming club. You can really feel the 80s.

In this club, we see Loew close talking to some random woman, and we can tell he's trying to get the booty. She says yes, and they stand together — he's going to get the booty.

As he exits the club, he's going on some spiel about conquering the world with her — or just traveling it anyway. I can't get over his accent. It sounds like the one kid in Drama class that takes English Renaissance theatre too seriously. They fluster a taxi driver, but somehow make it to Loew's apartment where there's some creepy kid watching them

The two are talking loudly as happy drunks do. Ms. Companion asks Loew what he does. He says "Literature" in the strangest way I've ever heard it, and they go into the apartment to bang. Their sexy times is interrupted by a super fake bat. It's a "turd on a rope", really.

Ms. C hops from the bed laughing but horrified, gathers her clothes, and hops out into the hallway. And the kid is there. She drunkenly tries to explain what's going on and dismisses it. Then she goes on to look like she's more than just drunk. And the creepy kid gets taken away by his mother.

Where the hell has she been. [link/image]

After Loew sashay-chantés out of his apartment, he lets out a weird Tidus laugh on the front stoop and next to the taxi. The taxi takes off, and it's the next day.

Loew's in his office, reading a file. His assistant/employee/secretary walks by, and he calls her into the office. He starts going on about how one of the authors wants his first agreement framed, and Loew's saying how it's impossible to find. As he's talking to her, she just:

Assistant/Secretary: Oh hot damn…

That's one hot, hot leg. (~~Also, what even is 80s fashion~~.)

I'm distracted by her, who's distracted by his bare ankle, and we both get roused by Loew's voice as it starts picking up in volume. He's goin on about this file he needs found post haste on the double; the assiscretary goes off to do what she needs to do. And he just:

What is this fascination with legs/ankles and shoes? I'm dazzled in my ignorance. Also, did I mention that this was only ten minutes into the movie? Yeah… Yeah. Oh, I'm loving it though. No sarcasm. Loew gets up from his chair and stares out his window. Below, there's a couple vigorously making out in front of a vendor, who is desperately trying to get them their drinks. The receptionist calls him and can't wait two damn seconds for him to pick up the phone before she starts getting worried. It's going to be okay.

There's a transition back to the therapist's office. Nothing particularly goes on here. There's just Loew's peculiar/stereotypical-surfer-dude accent, but the way he says "Holy shit" deserves to be a ringtone or a text alert. Also, this therapist is probably awful, but she has the greatest facial expressions.

This movie has no sense of transitioning. Sometimes it's either really abrupt or really loud — or, Maker help us, both. Back at the office, Loew's accent strikes again, and it's awful because he's reaming into Alva, the assiscretary, about this file again. Methinks, she's bad at her job.

Back at the apartment » 80s dark pop! Street shot transition and then Loew's at another bar. Something more business-y.

He's uninterested in life itself and the conversation his company's having. So he wordlessly excuses himself to a booth seat and starts talking to some lady with bomb ass earrings. He knocks back some ice and moves over to join her. She is, by the way, stroking a glass the entire time. He introduces himself, she herself. And then it's back to the apartment for the strangest dry humping I've had the privilege of watching.

Apparently, the new companion, Rachel, is a vampire. During this dry humping, she starts sucking his blood. He starts shouting "Okay, okay!" And then it slowly starts to look and sound more like a sex scene. Not a good one but one nonetheless. Rachel's boob gets squished, and it looks painful. [link slightly nsfw] There's awkward hair touching and heavy breathing, and another abrupt scene change to the next morning. This movie is nailing it with the scene flips.

Loew's shaving. He sings a jaunty tune while preparing coffee. He's talking out loud while heading to his bed. He's talking to Rachael and is serving up coffee for her, but when he extends it out, she's actually not there. His hand starts shaking, causing the cup to rattle noisily. It's a good scene actually. The next scene is also good, if only because of how hilarious it is.

He goes on another date to an art exhibit with Ms. Companion from earlier. It's like hair and paint on a mega canvas, I dunno. She asks him "Do you like it?" and he looks at her and replies, "I gotta take a piss." with the straightest face. And then walks away. I see where Brian gets his charm. As he's leaving, he looks back to see if she's looking and then he just leaves the museum. He goes out the exit (apparently, not emergency) and goes to hail a cab. Flawless.

Mind you, this is only twenty minutes of the movie. Actually only twenty minutes.

Peter's accent strikes again in the form of a Southern drawl. Back at the therapist's office, I learned that I never want to hear "horny" from Peter Loew's mouth ever and that he's very fond of repetition. Weird/bad scene change happens again, as does perfect acting. We finally see that Alva's not bad at her job. She's just increidbly overworked. Loew, however, is one tense asshole and also a liar. He needs to get bit again.

This happens.

Post-office, Loew continues to be an asshole to the general public. He leaves a restaurant in a fury. There are mimes outside an apartment. But(!), this is where we start to see some dramatic progress. He calls Jackie (Ms. Companion) and tells her to meet up with him tonight. That night when he's getting ready, he's having some paranoid delusions. Turns out, he's not completely delusional as Rachel appears once again. -small gasp- The plot thickens.

When we get back to the office the next day, I can't quite tells you what happens. He's at his desk, shouting for Alva. Alva is trying to do her work and soon realises she's being called. He keeps shouting, gets up, and walks out of his office. He's not shouting anymore, but he marches to the main work area and jumps on a table. Alva does the sensible thing and runs. Unfortunately, he starts chasing her. I feel like 'chased' implies some sort of running. He's more aggressively power walking after her. I'm so glad we live in the era of smartphones.

Loew chases Alva down the hall into the ladies' bathroom where an old woman is so damn unimpressed. Look at that march. Also, we are just barely past the 30 minute mark. There are a lot of scene switches. There's a meeting later where Loew and five other people are having a laugh about Peter chasing Alva. It's not as utterly bad as it sounds. They slowly melt into giving Peter some grief about it. He laughs like an old man. It's a pretty odd scene. Peter goes home, sees a message for him from Jackie, and he proceeds to lose his mind. He looks like a toddler having a tantrum.

There's a parallel of Alva taking the train home and Peter going mental. Nothing really happens for a while. Peter visits his therapists and has a dramatic reading of the alphabet filled with hip thrusts and arm waggles. There's no way to describe what's happening in this scene in words. Gifs probably have been made, but I do not possess them. It's honestly the most fascinating tantrum a grown man has had. If you can't tell, this is also the beginning of his decline. Officially.

The next office scene has the face. It finally appeared, and honestly, I feel blessed.

Later, Rachel comes back, and Peter is one needy boy. Rachel's thirsty — for love. I feel kinda bad for her. She's also one dynamite vampire. Hello, mistress of the night. The next morning, Peter's having another hallucination. He vamps himself up in the mirror and then goes about his morning.

He eats a roach.

Alva doesn't go to work, so cue a scene of her at home. Her mother lays down the law and tells her to go to work. Also, unfortunately, Peter shows up. He came all the way from the city to the suburbs where Alva lives, and the taxi's only $20? The 80s. Alva tells him the truth, which I feel is a poor idea. He ends up shrugging it off, says "Fuck the contract and the client", and they get in the taxi. She asks if they can make a quick stop at a gas station. Yeah~ sure~ fine. Peter backpedals like an Olympian and tells her to find the damn contract anyway. He calls her out her name and then dry heaves all over the back of the driver chair.

We meet Alva's brother, Emilio, who basically shrugs off the whole situation. He gives her a case of blank[ bullet]s, and we're back at the office. Bad touch. Worse touch. And trust me, the dialogue is no better. I'm shocked and amazed she hasn't called the police. Or told the lead executive again what was happening. Peter has a moment where he realises he can't see his own reflection. Second milestone of his mental decline. His other secretary calls; he says "Tell them I'm in a meeting" like a cartoon vampire, and that's the best thing to come out of this scene. He curls up by the couch in his office and doesn't move.

Congratulations, we're at the one hour mark! Thirty more minutes to go!

Rachel appears. She dry humps the couch and drinks Peter's blood. Poor damn Alva finds the contract.

Peter has another moment and chases her down the hallway — and then down the emergency stairs to some backdoor parking facility. Or something. I don't know where they are. He shouts at her to shoot him or she's fired. This poor woman is terrified. She thinks he's going to assault her, which he then confirms with a waggle of his tongue. Classy. Since she has blanks, she starts shooting at the floor. She keeps doing this; he's shouting at her to shout him, while slapping himself and shouting "Help me!" He then gets close enough to rip open her dress, and he bites her. She faints from shock.

He bites her over and over again on the neck and face. Alva turns into Rachel, and Peter grabs the gun. He shoots himself twice in the mouth. When he lives, he starts crying. Literally shouting "boo-HOO!" He then comes to the conclusion he's a vampire. Alva's still knocked out on the ground. He taps her and tells her he's a vampire. She's still unconscious. He rips off her cross necklace and runs through the street shouting "I'm a vampire!" No one is fazed – except Alva. He goes home, breaks a mirror, and fucks up his closet.

Next morning. Apparently, he fucked up his whole apartment and is sleeping under a turned over couch that's supposed to be a coffin. God bless his soul. There's a scene at Alva's house where her mother tries to get her to come down for breakfast. Alva doesn't move. Emilio has a realisation of what could be wrong. Quick cut to Peter biting a pillow. Emilio tries to get Alva, doesn't succeed, and tells her he'll be at the station (where he works). Back to Peter, he's having a moment.

Later that night, he goes out to buy fake vampire teeth. He ends up getting plastic ones because he's low on cash. Then he traipses through town to the park where he rips open the packaging and puts the teeth in. He actually then crawls away. He calls his therapist at a payphone (old school), rearranges his appointment, and then kidnaps a pigeon. He runs home with it in his coat.

Nothing happens for a while, but he ends up at fucking Babylon making the face again. At said club, he walks through the sea of party people and somehow finds a woman sitting by herself on a couch with absolutely no one around her. After some fake teeth chomping, he gropes her. She slaps him. Then neck biting.

We're at the hour twenty mark – just for reference.

He bites the girl's neck until she bleeds. He waddles away and throws up somewhere. Rachel shows up and talks some sense into him. Then spits in his face. A random man shows up (probably another vampire). Peter throws up again. They leave, and Peter hobbles after Rachel and her beau. And boy, he starts causing a scene. He tries to out Rachel (or some woman that looks like her) as a vampire and ends up getting thrown out of the club. He tries to prove his truth as a vampire to a group of people standing outside. They mock him, and he runs away from a dude making a cross with his fingers. Peter ends up talking to himself, sees the sun, and runs towards it, shouting at it to kill him.

We then go to Alva and Emilio. Emilio's sleeping when Alva walks in. She ends up having a breakdown, and he asks her to tell him what's wrong, embracing her.

Peter's wandering the streets, and he tries to stake himself with a jagged 2x4. He then harasses a passing couple to kill him. Cut to Emilio driving down the road. He's a man on a mission. Peter's still wandering about, but now he's screaming "OOOH" in the middle of the street and almost gets hit by a few cars.

He hallucinates going to meet his therapist. He still has the giant 2x4 in his hand. In his mind, he's well put together. In reality, he's a bloody mess in need of a dye job and is monologing semi-coherently to a matte black wall. In his mind meeting, his therapist is setting him up with a woman, Sharon. She starts listing off her interests, and then they start talking poetry.

Whoooooah.

After setting a date with his magic woman, he starts confessing to his mind doctor, who just shrugs off his assault and tells him to carry on with his big romance. Oh, and she "will take care of the cops". That's how it works. He's walking and talking with Sharon, who points out the broken slab of wood he's carrying around. "Oh, I turned into a vampire last week, but it's all in the past now." (He got better.)

Emilio and Alva have been staking out at Peter's place for a while now, waiting for him to show up. Peter finally stumbles up to his house. Alva points him out, and Emilio busts a window to go after him. Peter grabs his own nuts, dry heaves a bunch, and then crawls under the coffin-couch.

Emilio comes in and flips over the couch. When the sun hits him, Peter starts freaking out and grabs the giant stake to off himself. Emilio shoves it into his body. Rachel shows up again. The movie's over.

I know we went on this big journey together, but I can't honestly tell you what I've been watching. This was perhaps one of the wildest ride I've been on with a movie in a long, long time. I'm sitting here asking so many questions. It was absolutely beautiful.

Vampire's Kiss is bonkers bananas wild sauce, and I really advise all of you to watch it. No lie. If you made it with me so far, bless you. Hopefully, this didn't warp your mind and turn you into some delusional pseudo-creature-of-the-night too.

If you want to see all of my screencaps, click here to go to the gallery.