Pris Adventures

Dear Isabelle - 5 years old

2024-01-01T23:52:00.001+01:00

Dear Isabelle

Or "Belly" as we all like to call you. Ideally, we'd call you "Belle" but since Mummy's close friend is also called "Bel", we decided to call you "Belly" instead.

You've turned 5!

You had a princess-themed party and you were so looking forward to it! Mummy also truly enjoyed organising you a pink princess party. We had your children birthday party two weeks later because we decided to go away for your birthday weekend. You and Samuel got birthday vouchers which gave you free entries to Therme Erding in Munich, so we decided to take advantage of the chance before the vouchers expired (4 weeks).

The weather forecast looked gloomy so we decided that we would have an indoor party at home with 7 other princesses. Mummy prepared crafts to make a mirror, princess wand and a princess magnet. All the girls gave their best shot at the crafts and it was so lovely to see the end result.

When the rain stopped, you girls even headed out to the trampoline in the garden and we could play some games there before heading back indoors when it got too cold.

This is the first time that you've had a children birthday party. Prior to your 5th birthday party, we always invited adult friends to celebrate. But with you getting older, you wanted to celebrate with your friends, so we decided to a children-themed party.

We so enjoy having you in our lives. You're such a talkative, smart and curious little girl. You love to bake and would often fight for kitchen space with your brother to make chicken nuggets, banana cakes or chocolate cookies.

You've entered into your final (third) year of kindergarten. Your first year was a breeze because you thoroughly enjoyed going to kindergarten with your older brother. However, once your brother graduated from kindergarten, you went through a phase during which you absolutely refused to leave the house for kindergarten. That reluctance coupled with all the stress of corona measures, resulted in you staying home for 2 months before we attempted to get you back into kindergarten.

I think a big part of your regression from kindergarten was because you missed your brother and you didn't have any close friends. You'd often tell me that you didn't play with anybody and played alone in the doll session. You're very independent though and would often enjoy having that quiet time playing on your own because you're surrounded by 3 older brothers at home.

With time though, you finally found a close girlfriend, Ellie, whom you call "my best friend forever". Since then, you look forward to kindergarten more but you're still not fussed about having to go to kindergarten everyday. Mummy's happy to have you at home, so on average you go to kindergarten 4 times a week.

You started learning how to swim in summer. We're so proud of you for overcoming your fear of diving into the water without your floats. You were so uncertain at your first session but you decided to muster all your courage to sit at the side of the pool while awaiting instructions. Within 2 sessions, you felt confident enough for Mummy to leave. Mummy enjoyed the 1-on-1 time driving you to the pool, waiting for you, popping by a nice playground on the way home before heading back.

After that swim course ended, we got a spot for you at the swim club near our house. We walk there for 10 mins, change and Mummy heads back home to do some chores before picking you up again. It's such a joy to see you spread your wings and gain more independence.

On Thursdays we go for crafting at our old place. The teacher prepares cool craft like lanterns and autumn decorations. Mummy enjoys bonding with you and having a keepsake to bring home with us. After crafting, we drive straight to your gymnastics class which you absolutely love. Your brothers go for their swim course at the same time.

This craft was quite a test of Mummy's patience and perseverance! I had to split my time and effort between you and your friend, while paying close attention to the time in order not to be (too) late for your gymnastics class. But the result was so worth it!

You have a gift of the gab. Hmm... I wonder where you got that from? Grandma says that whenever they pick you up for grandparents' day, you would talk to her non-stop in the back of the car. I wonder what you talk about! You would speak German to your grandparents but with us, you prefer to converse in English.

You still allow Mummy to pick your clothes, which I'm so thankful! Left to your own devices, you'd often dress yourself in leggings and a top. That said, you loved your cinderella dress that you wore for your birthday. It was such a "WOW" experience for me to see your all dolled up as a princess.

You love copying mommy. Whenever Mummy wears some make-up, you would ask to apply the "shiny thing" on your lip as well.

You got some barbie dolls for your birthday and you absolutely love to play dress-up with your dollies. Watching you play with girly toys reminds Mummy of my own girly childhood! I'll forever be grateful that God chose you to be in our family. You've truly completed our family!

You've been praying for a baby sister since our 5th baby went home to be with the Lord. Mummy just turned 41. It's all in God's hands!!! Mummy is still amazed at your childlike and persistent faith!

You've got such a compassionate heart and would sometimes talk about baby Noel. We didn't know if baby #5 was a boy or girl but we named the baby "Noel" since baby went home to be with the Lord over Christmas. You do struggle with the "why's" of life. Why did baby Noel die?? Why do other people have their baby sister / brother whereas you've been praying for a year but nothing happens. We've been talking to you about trusting in God's best plans for our family. Maybe God has one more for us, maybe not. We don't know what the future brings but we know that we can keep praying and trusting in God for *His* best for our lives.

Mummy said to you that she would miss this phase of your life being small. And I said jokingly, "Shall we pray that you won't grow older?" You replied, "But Mummy, growing up is the best part!" That's so true darling. Growing up is the best part. Mummy may cling onto your childhood knowing full well you may be our last baby, but with God, we can look forward to every season of our lives. It's still bittersweet though!

Our prayer for you is to know how deeply-loved you are by God and us. That your life was carefully planned and orchestrated by Father God and He has chosen you to be salt and light in your generation. May you be fearless to live for truth and yet have such a gentle and caring heart for others. That you would hear the voice of God at a young age and have faith that can move mountains!! Life is meant to be lived to the full and with God, we can have the most amazing adventures in life! You go girl!

Love

Mummy & Daddy

Celebrating the turn of the decade (40!)

2023-01-10T17:23:00.001+01:00

Our last beach holiday to Livorno, Italy July 2022

Yup! I've turned the big old 4-0!

My 2nd boy drew this photo and he commented, "Wow Mummy, 40 candles are a LOT!" I acknowledged his statement with a sheepish grin while nodding my head.

My first boy greeted with a very enthusiastic "Happy birthday Mummy!" Followed by a "Wow, 40 is very old!" I told him, "Well, you are 11 years old right? So how old should I be? I was 29 when you were born."

Gabriel overhead our conversation and went, "No Mum, you were not 29, you were 28. Sam is born in Sept and your birthday is in Dec."

*mindblown*

"Yes, you're very sharp Gabriel. It's true. I was still 28 when Sam was born but I turned 29 a few months after."

Whenever one turns a new decade, one feels like a chapter of the book is over. Oh make that 10 chapters. I remember feeling ancient when I turned 30. I was pregnant with my #2 back then and had a 1-year old to take care of. We had a p-party where everybody had to come dressed in a character beginning with the letter "p".

This year though, I have turned 40. I spent the most of 2022 in denial that I would turn 40 just before the turn of the new year. I clung onto the "30s" for as long as I could. Say what you'd like, but when you tell someone you're "30-something", it adds 10 years of youth compared to when you're in your 40s. It doesn't matter that 39 and 40 is only 1 year apart. Even when you fill in survey forms, 40 years old puts you in the next 10 years of being older category. Don't even get me started with how society doesn't seem to accept that women age just as much as men. But while mens' charm continues to grow with their greying hair and wrinkles, women fuel the multi-billion dollar industry of anti-ageing facial products, face lifts, botox injections and pretty much anything that technology and money can buy to turn back time.

I just coloured the roots of my hair because even my 9-year old was going, "Wow, Mummy your hair is so white!" The hub came to my rescue and explained to my boy, saying "Hey, you can't tell mummy stuff she already knows. She knows she has white hair but you're not allowed to repeat that to her."

40 is pretty much half-life for most people. That's where the term "mid-life crisis" was termed when men hit their 40s right?

I'm fully aware that life is so transient that none of us knows the number of days that the Lord has ordained for each of us. I've also realised in the last 2 years how a worldwide pandemic can change the facade of many friendships and put family bonds to the test. I know friends my age who have lost their spouses through divorce and demise. Being a Christian does not make one immune to suffering, although we are promised that God will walk through every season with us.

The past 2 covid years has also put a lot of strain on my family personally. Thus explaining the 2-year dearth of blog entries. Taking care of my family's well-being physically, mentally and emotionally, while trying to make sure I don't drown in the all the added responsibility of being a good Mom, left me with no energy nor inspiration to write.

The positive side is that with the added time I had on my hands, I could read my Bible, write in my personal journal and just live my life without the added expectation of blogging about my life. I don't like documenting about hard experiences, so I preferred not to write at all. The negative side is Isabelle only has a yearly-update at 1 year old. She's 4 now. And obviously I can hardly remember what she was like at 2 or 3.

But I do enjoy writing. It helps me to compartmentalise my life. Think about the good and bad and yet choose to focus on the good. So here's me trying to gently restart a very old and rusty engine. This year, I decided that instead of dwelling on the fact that I am 40 years ~~old~~ young, I'm going to give thanks for all the blessings I continue to enjoy.

1. I'm strong and healthy at 40

2. I have 4 beautiful healthy children aged 11, 9, 6 and 4.

3. I have a wonderful husband and blessed marriage of 16 years!

4. God continues to provide for our family through my husband's job as a tax advisor

5. Knowing how God never gives up on His children. I've experienced answered prayers in my marriage in so many areas I never thought possible.

6. Even if we pray for the "wrong" thing, God won't "punish" us by answering our prayer "wrongly". He will still answer our prayer according to His perfect will.

7. Wonderful house with a garden for the past 1.5 years!

8. Newly-installed solar panels on our roofs to combat the crazy energy and gas prices in Germany

9. Saving 19% on taxes on our solar panels when the installation is complete in Jan 2023. That's about 1,000€!

10. Wonderful osteopath who has helped me repeatedly with various back and hip issues

11. Totally bias, but I'm sooo happy to have a little girl! After 3 boys, God knew that my heart yearned for a girl as much as I love my 3 boys. And despite my little faith, God rewarded us with a baby girl whom Gabriel prayed so hard for.

13. My 2 older boys who withstood the peer pressure and mockery when they stood firm and not wore masks. 2 years of mandatory mask-wearing later, the studies have proven that masks were pretty much useless in the pandemic to stop the spread.

14. Having a lovely little boy who's already waiting for us in heaven. Nothing like losing a loved one to make one so look forward to eternity with Christ where there will be no more suffering, pain and demise. What a joy that will be!

At Cinque Terre, Italy

Celebrating my 40th at our favourite Spanish restaurant!

I shall not talk about how my 2 older boys were kicking each other under the table and got into a fight before the food came *facepalm*

Dear Christmas baby #5 - Have fun with Jesus in heaven

2022-12-31T13:01:00.005+01:00

This was a post that I never thought I would have to write. But in contemplating about whether or not to share this news, I remembered that this is afterall my blog and I started it to document my family's adventures. Our Christmas baby is part of our family, albeit not on earth, so I really want to talk about our sweet little one.

*Trigger warning: Do not read if you're upset about pregnancy loss.*

--------

So, the long and short story is that we were pregnant.

For 16 weeks.

I didn't want to share the news any earlier because this was my 5th pregnancy and I was somehow so afraid of what people would think or say about me.

Looking back, this was all so stupid because why should I bother about what others think about me? No one family is the same and God's plans for each person and family is so very different and unique. If there is no basis of comparing apples to pears, why did I allow the societal fear of people's opinions hold me back from sharing my joy?

------------------

Dear baby

Christmas will never be the same again. We miss you. You were supposed to be our last baby. To complete our family. Now, you're gone and there's such a searing hole in my heart.

I'm so sorry that I wasn't prouder of your existence. I hid it. I was embarrassed. I was scared about what others would say about me as you're our 5th baby and we live in a world that looks down on big families.

As such, I deprived myself and others the chance to rejoice over you. Over your existence. For a full 16 weeks.

You were our rainbow after the storm.

You were scratching your nose here

You were moving around so much here

Can see all your fingers formed!

First time we saw your heartbeat at 8 weeks

This was supposed to be our pregnancy announcement

Mummy prayed for 4 years about whether I should go for a 5th child.

Then came the covid lockdown of 2 years. Mummy and Daddy had a very tough season in our marriage and it wasn't sure for the longest time if we would ever try for a 5th baby.

Mummy gave up her desire to have a 5th child to the Lord. She thought it was selfish and greedy to ask for one last blessing. She asked the Lord to take away this desire to have one last baby. Mummy and Daddy spent a lot of time seeking help and building up our marriage again.

As life would have it, Mummy got pregnant in Sept 2021 unexpectedly. It lasted only 5 weeks but it was such a pivotal shift in Daddy's heart.

The Lord touched Daddy's heart to indeed want to have one last baby. But Mummy couldn't get pregnant for one whole year.

August 2022 came and Mummy got pregnant one more time but it ended up in a miscarriage too at 5 weeks. Some people call that a "chemical pregnancy" but for Mummy, it was another baby.

You came into our lives one month later and we rejoiced over your existence. You were such a wanted child! 4 years of prayer and 2 miscarriages later, we were overjoyed to see your 12-week body waving at us and having a lovely heartbeat.

Over Christmas, Mummy had a feeling that something was wrong so she went to the hospital.

Nothing could ever prepare us for the words of "we cannot find a heartbeat". Tears were cried, while shock and disbelief sank into our hearts. The doctor asked for the head doctor to come in to confirm her diagnosis that you were gone.

Mummy knew when she saw your unmoving body on the ultrasound. I knew that my little gummy bear was gone. My heart was shattered into a million pieces.

We prayed over you and asked the good Lord to revive your body. It was honestly hard to believe on that level of resurrection because you were gone for a good 4 weeks. Mummy reckoned that Lazarus was dead for 3 days and Jesus was dead for 3 days, but there were no examples of anybody being resurrected after 4 weeks.

Still, we asked for prayers and decided for go for another ultrasound 2 days later.

The diagnosis was still the same. You were gone. This time though, a deep peace settled on me. I knew that you were safe in the arms of Jesus. You looked so peaceful asleep in the ultrasound.

Fear gripped my heart because I didn't know what to expect, having to deliver a dead baby.

I've only heard of horror stories of women who bled a lot, fainted and needed emergency care during their miscarriage.

We had people praying over us like crazy. I asked specifically that the labour would be "quick and painless and that the abortion pill would take effect quickly."

Guess what??

Labour with you was exactly that!

Mummy took the abortion pill and she started to feel some mild cramping but it wasn't painful. In fact it was so painless that she could continue to talk to Daddy on the phone.

The next thing I knew, my waters broke. I was shocked. Wow. My waters broke and I didn't feel any pain?

I wasn't allowed to take a second pill because it was too late and the doctor said I should have the second pill in the morning.

But I really wanted to give birth to you. My friend messaged me and gave me some specific breathing exercises and told me to visualise you coming down the birth canal.

I breathed deeply and pushed for 3 times before you were born. I was in shock. The birth was completely painless! My heart broke into a million pieces to see your lifeless body in real life. I bawled my eyes out cos I knew I would never see you alive on this side of eternity. The nurse came in and hugged me so tightly while I sobbed uncontrollably. Daddy race-drove to the hospital to be with Mummy.

You were a part of me for 4 months and for the first time I saw your body. Lifeless but oh so cute. You were in a sleeping position and your 2 arms were wrapped around your right side where you nested your head. Daddy saw you and commented, "You sleep just like the Tews kids." All your brothers and sister sleep just like that.

Daddy arrived just in time to cut your umbilical cord and Mummy was so happy that Daddy got to do that. The nurses were in a hurry to bring me to the operating theatre to do a D&C for Mummy cos the placenta was stuck and they wanted to clean me out.

Everything was so smooth and Mummy was back in the room within an hour. I missed you so much and asked to see you again. I love looking at your miniature body and counting all your fingers and toes. You looked so real and Mummy marvelled at the reality of how God wonderfully and fearfully formed you in Mummy's womb.

We will never stop missing you on this side of eternity.

You were such a wanted child. Such a wanted 5th child. I promise I won't ever be silent about you again. I will never be embarrassed to have wanted you.

Have fun playing with your grandma in heaven. We will see you again.

Love you so so so much

Mummy

---------------------

Pregnancy loss is real but the silence on this topic is even more deafening. I will not be silent. When you live, you will die. Why are we only sharing the positive happy moments in our lives and choosing to be silent about our losses? I want to share my baby cos my baby was real and he was God's blessing for us. His absence on earth does not nullify the fact that he existed. I will have no answers on earth on why this happened and of course I struggle with the guilt and the "whys". I've had 3 very early miscarriages at 5 weeks but this is the first time that my baby passed at 12 weeks.

Still, I am thankful for this:-

1. I will see my baby again in heaven one day

2. I had a very easy and complication-free birth at 12 weeks. It was truly my first painless childbirth and I'm hardly bleeding anymore. No pain post recovery either. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans and it almost feels like I've never been pregnant. Sad also, but what a quick recovery.

3. I could see baby in the ultrasound at 12 weeks so I could get all my ultrasound photos and watch baby waving at me. Baby must have passed away shortly after that cos baby wasn't measuring much bigger than 12 weeks.

4. How my 4 other children really love their youngest baby. When I came back from the hospital, Gabriel immediately asked if he could see photos of baby. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but before I knew it, all my kids came over and they were all loving on their baby from the photos. I could talk to them about death and tell them we have an eternal hope in the Lord Jesus as long as we don't throw away our faith in Him.

-----------------

My experience with Covid-19

2021-05-01T03:45:00.007+02:00

I got covid.

I'm 38 with no prior health issues except for hypothyroidism for which I take a low dosage of thyroid medication.

I've past the 1 month mark since I got covid and have recovered except for a lingering cough which I've had since February 2020, no thanks to pollen allergies. I went to the ENT doctor, she took a look at my throat and prescribed me 2 nasal sprays for which I should take consistently for the next 5 weeks.

I'm sure you have lots of questions, so I shall attempt to answer each one.

--------------

Q: How did it all started?

I have no idea really. I am a housewife to 4 young kids and we've been having a lockdown for 3 months prior to me developing covid. If there is anybody with minimal social contact, it would be me. None of my 4 children fell sick nor had any symptoms so I'm pretty sure I didn't get it from them either.

Q: What were your symptoms like? How long did it last?

It all started with a weird muscle ache of sorts. Every muscle and ligament in my body would hurt. I remember thinking that I felt like an 80-year old woman. For me, it starting hurting somewhere around my breastbone and eventually spread all the way to the base of my spine. I tried massaging it but the soreness never went away.

Saturday night

A few days of that weird muscle ache later, I fell sick.

I had body chills when I went to bed. I was shivering but somehow never had a fever! I just felt all weak, had muscle ache and was totally out of it. Sunday was spent with me in bed trying hard to recover before the new week started.

Monday

We're still in lockdown mode with no school and kindergarten for the 4 kids so I didn't have to worry about whether I should send the kids to school. I soldiered on by myself for the whole of Monday during which I felt better, but everything came back with a vengeance on Monday evening.

I still didn't think much of it because it felt like a cold / flu of sorts and we had no contact with anybody who tested positive. My first thought of "Could it be covid?" was when I realised my 4 kids were so healthy and none of them had any signs of being ill! Usually when one person is sick in the family, it was only a matter of time that the others fell like dominos. But these time, my children were Energiser bunnies with no hint of runny nose or a cold! It was hard to keep them home!

Tuesday to Wednesday

I felt like I got run over by a bus. Devoid of all energy and just wanting to lie down under my sheets and sleep. But I couldn't right? I had to take care of 4 children aged between 2 and 9. My older two boys had to be coached in their homework and the husband wasn't home, so I pretty much tried to hold the fort by myself.

During the day, I would lie down whenever I could, especially when the baby was sleeping and during the night I would shiver the whole time in bed. It felt like my body was trying to fight a bad virus but had a hard time regulating my body temperature.

Thursday

The hub bought a quick test from Aldi because he was curious about whether I got covid. I took the first test awkwardly trying to insert the swab in my nose, which yielded only bloody mucus. Looked at the test and thought, "Yay, negative!" Left the test in the toilet and went to the kitchen.

Out of curiosity, after a while, I went back to the washroom to check my test results and can you imagine the shock of my life when the negative result turned positive??! I was thinking to myself, "Is this what they mean by 'false positive'?" I read the instructions again and realised one has to wait for 15 mins before reading the result. I didn't wait the first time.

Needless to say, I took a second test. This time, I just used my spit because I had phlegm all over my nose / throat anyway, I figured it didn't matter whether I used my nose or my phlegm. Lol.

I was coughing a lot. My phlegm would have traces of blood in it.

The second test was a very clear positive. The result came up almost immediately and it is the picture above. Argh. There began my 2 weeks quarantine.

I eventually took a 3rd test from a different brand and that turned positive too. Truth be told, even if it weren't covid, I wouldn't have had enough strength to leave the house anyway. I didn't need a covid test to tell me to stay at home. That was obvious.

Q: Wow. How did you feel when you found that it was covid?

Tbh, the first feeling I felt was shock. Then shame.

I've never felt shame for being sick before. Ever. But I did! For covid.

I think after 1 year of media propaganda, one is so used to being blamed if you get covid and being a spreader. As if I could do anything about it! I abide by the rules and don't meet anybody beyond what was allowed. And even then, it would be barely once a week. I don't even know from whom I could have caught it from.

Q: How did you started getting better?

I reached out to a friend of mine, Holly from the U.S., who's a very strong advocate for health and taking charge of your own immune system. Her 18-year old son got covid himself and shook off the illness in a couple of days. I knew she would be able to help me.

What followed was a lot of FB messenger exchange during which I asked her all my questions and she equipped me with all the information she got. Here's what I took daily.

- 10,000 mg vitamin C (that's pretty much 10 of high-dosage vitamin C pills)

- 10,000 IU of Vitamin D

- 200mg Zinc

For the kids I gave them

- 2000 IU Vitamin D

- 500mg Vitamin C

- 50mg Zinc

This was the dosage I took / gave the kids when I had an active infection and knew that I was still contagious. During the course of 2 weeks, I gradually decreased my dosage because too much of vitamin C can give you tummy problems / diarrhoea. True enough, once I started getting better, my stomach starting rumbling and I knew that I had to go easy on vitamin C. The children had their vitamins C and D in gummy bears / chewable tablets and vitamin D comes in drops, so that was easy-peasy.

I also bought an oximeter for the finger. I wanted to check my oxygen levels regularly to see that I have a healthy oxygen saturation. I never had any problems with this as my oxygen levels was often hovering at 97 / 98%. The internet says to go to the hospital / seek medical attention if your oxygen levels plummet to below 90%. In Germany, the official recommendation is to stay home and recover anyway. I didn't want to go to the hospital unnecessarily.

Q: How did the 2nd week go for you?

Better. I no longer felt knocked over by a bus, but I still felt weak.

But at least I could get out of bed, prepare meals before sitting down again. During the second week though, a terrible brain fog settled on me.

You know that feeling you get when you're hungover? It felt like that for me 24/7. I tried everything to get it under control. Drink more water. Sit on my balcony for fresh air. Take my vitamins consistently. But after reaching out to friends who've had first-hand experience of covid, I was told that I needed to be patient and give my body time to recover.

I would be talking on the phone to my in-laws in German and realise that my brain could not function as it normally would. I would stop my sentence half-way and think, "What on earth am I supposed to say?" Even my cooking took twice as long because I could no longer multi-task and would have to focus on one task at a time. For a while, I finally understood what it must be like to be a guy! Lol.

I simply wanted to get better and be on my 2 feet again. My husband was juggling working from home and trying to give the kids the attention they needed. It simply wasn't possible. During those 2 weeks, I often slept even with the ruckus going on outside because I needed the rest.

With the brain fog, I watched a film a day so that I could practise concentrating on something. Everything else was too difficult.

For 2 days, I also experienced the weirdest lost of taste and smell. I wouldn't say that I completely lost my sense of taste but the food I cooked tasted different! I had a metallic taste in my mouth and it felt like my tongue was scalded so everything tasted different after that.

I remember cooking Singaporean hokkien noodles from Prima Taste (a pre-mixed packet) and asking my husband if the noodles tasted the same, to which he said, "yes". I wondered if the package had gone bad, cos I had to keep adding more chilli to taste something. I also couldn't smell the air when the neighbours were BBQing. Thank God it all resolved itself after 2 days.

The best advice I got from a friend was to "Go easy on yourself and give yourself time to recover." I tried my darnest to take that advice as much as I could with 4 young kids and a hub that was going mad with having to work from home with young kids.

Q: Wow, that sounded quite tough. How do you feel now?

I feel really good! My stamina is pretty much back to normal and I have resumed pilates twice a week. I'm not tired anymore. I'm just hoping and praying that my cough will clear soon. If its pollen allergies, usually it clears by summer time.

Q. Would you take the vaccine?

No. Never. No way. Ever.

Our God-given natural immune systems beats ANY vaccine hands down. Any. And I'm definitely not allowing any mRNA to be injected into my veins. Ever. And not for a virus with a 99.7% recovery rate. Also, once a person has beat covid, the body is more equipped to beat any covid variations, ie. covid-20, covid-21...

I'm not against anybody who wants to go for the vaccine. Everybody should have the right to decide for themselves. But I'm against discrimination against people who exercise their freewill not to be vaccinated with an experimental mRNA vaccine too. This mRNA vaccine doesn't prevent infection and doesn't give immunity. One has to take a booster every 6 months and only God knows what mRNA really does to the DNA of a body.

The hub has a client who's an untertaker. She hasn't seen any "increase in business" because of covid. There is no excess deaths in 2021 and even less deaths for the same period compared to 2020. Ie. There's no boom in her business. Her fellow undertaker partners say the same thing! No excess deaths.

She said she's never buried a single covid patient who died. On the contrary, she's buried 2 people who have died 4 days after the vaccine, but it was never reported in the news. She's speaking from personal experience. She even knows one case when the hospital classified the death of a person as "covid" even though the guy tested positive for covid 6 weeks before he died! He was very much covid-negative by the time he died. This is because the hospital gets reimbursed more money for a covid death.

Q. Have you got tested for covid antibodies?

As a matter of fact, I have! I just got confirmation that it's positive! My result was 579 when you only need 33.8 for a positive test. I'm over the moon! Now my next quest to see if I can donate my blood plasma.

Q: Is there any advice you can give?

Yes. In the words of Trump, "Don't let covid dominate your life".

The fear of covid is worse than covid itself. I do believe there are some healthy people who have died or have had long-lasting consequences of covid itself. But, an overwhelming majority of people (99.7%) will recover from this illness with no issues.

I'm Christian. I truly believe in the true and living Lord Jesus Christ. I believe the bible is real and the anchor of my life. All the days of our lives the Lord will fulfill. Worrying will not add to a single day of my life. God holds us in the palms of His hands. My trust is in God and God alone. I will not be a pawn of politics. I will not give in to fear. My authority lies in the word of God, not what mainstream media tells me. I understand what fear is. I truly do. Having gone through covid, I know what it was thinking if things would take a turn for the worse and I may not live to see my kids grow up. BUT I chose not to give in to fear. In my haze and half mental state, I remember telling God, "I want to live for Him! I want to recover! If God is for me, who can be against me??? He is FOR ME!!" I believe each of us are given a dosage of FAITH. Will we choose to have faith in God or give in to fear? Faith in a God who has overcome death?? Who knows our every thought, emotion, fear and hope?? God knows us!! He knows our inner being, the number of hairs on our head. God will not leave us in the pit of fear and hopelessness. Fear is not from God. God gives us power, love and a sound mind.

Covid is real. People will get it. People WILL recover. God will never leave us nor forsake us. We are all called to be a good stewards of our bodies. Let's treat our bodies well. Let's eat well, exercise, sleep well, turn off fear-mongering news, open our Bible and seek God with all our hearts. God is close to the broken hearted and the fearful. The devil is having a whale of a time, watching the world paralysed in fear. I trust in my God-given immune system than a man-made experimental "vaccine". I don't believe in a quick fix. A vaccine will not fix covid. But God will. We do our part in fixing our bodies and allow God to do the part to protect us and bring us to the other side of post-covid.

Dear Liam - 4 years old (amidst corona shutdown)

2020-04-21T13:13:00.000+02:00

Love this boy

We've been on Corona lockdown mode for the past 5 weeks.

The first week was the toughest. I had no idea how to manage helping the two older ones with their homework while having to take care of the two younger ones. That plus the crazy increase in housework with having to maintain a certain level of tidiness with 4 kids at home at all time, cook two warm meals daily and not having a cleaner (we asked her to take a break), resulted in a pretty frazzled me for a while.

But somehow we survived. I guess it helped that the hub was also working from home part-time, so I wasn't always alone with the kids.

Fast-forward 5 weeks and the German government has announced that the schools will stay shut down until May at least. I have no idea if my boys will go back to school for this school term anymore. In any case, I've gotten quite used to our usual routine by now.

To be honest, even though I'm an extrovert by nature, being a stay-home-Mom has tamed me down a lot. I do not have any close friends who live within close proximity and while I'm thankful to be able to make small talk with some familiar faces in my neighbourhood, I must say that my children are my primary source of companion. Them and God of course!

Being a SAHM for 8 years has prepared me for this corona lockdown I must say. I'm already home all the time and am used to spending time alone with my kids. However, the biggest change is having to be the primary educator of my kids even though German isn't my mother tongue.

I have an influx of Emails from both teachers and finding time to sort through my Emails isn't easy. My Archilles Heel is knowing that I'm not a native German speaker and I keep thinking I would be better able to help my children if only I understood German as easily as English. But that said, I think this means that I'm constantly dependant on God since the Bible says, in my weakness, His strength is made perfect right?

This time has not been easy mentally either. I do think sometimes if Liam's birthday might be the last birthday I'll celebrate with him. Or what if I'm one of the few people who do not make it through this unpredictable virus? I'm not being pessimistic, but the reality is we do not know how long we have to live on this Earth. And being a Mom I know one of my biggest fears is not to be able to watch my children grow up and get married. My mom passed away just a month before I got married, so I certainly don't take it for granted that everybody gets to become a grandparent.

That said, I've been nursing a weird cough for the past 2 weeks. And half of me hopes that it could be the corona cough? Cos then, I know I'm done with it. And the other half is, "Nah, it can't be...."

But the bible says, if you faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. And my prayer is that somehow supernaturally, my family and I will have natural antibodies to this virus. I speak from experience that this is really possible. When I was pregnant with Isabelle, a kid in Gabriel's kindergarten got infected with the 5th disease - It is a pretty rare disease that causes skin rashes in children but when contracted when pregnant has the potential to be extremely dangerous for the unborn fetus. I was so worried! And to make matters worse, Liam broke up with a weird rash all over his face on the same day I went to the doctor to test my bloods to see if I got the virus! Writing about this still gives me chills!

My prayer back then was only that I would not have any sign of infection in my blood. But guess what? Not only did I not have any infection, I was even immune to it!! Like seriously! How is that even possible, you may ask? I have no idea! I believe God gave me the antibodies supernaturally! How cool was that right?

And somehow I believe I have this Praise report because I know the same God who got me through the 5th disease, will get me /us through this corona crap!

We've been praying Psalm 91 daily as a family and its so comforting!

Oh one thing we have incorporated into our family life? We take the time before we eat dinner to have a round of applause. Usually one kid would start, "Round of applause for Mummy for cooking such yummy food." And everybody would clap. And the next person would say, "Round of applause to Daddy for earning the money for the food." *clap clap* and on it goes until everybody has a round of applause. This thing just started randomly and somehow stuck. I thought it was such a nice way to appreciate everybody at the end of the day.

--------------------

When we were preparing for Liam's birthday (before the corona outbreak), this was our conversation.

Me: Where would you like to celebrate your birthday?

Liam: At home

Me: You sure? You don't want to go somewhere fun? We could go to the park, have a picnic, nice playground?

Liam: No. I want to celebrate at home.

-------------------

During home quarantine after corona shutdown in Germany

Me: Liam, nobody can come for your birthday you know. Grandma and grandpa can't come. It will just be us celebrating your birthday.

Liam: That's OK. (Showing an understanding face).

Me: Really??

Liam: Yeah. I'm so excited to celebrate my birthday at home.

----------------

He got one present mailed to him from my in-laws.

Me: Liam you can go downstairs to the store to pick one more present for yourself ok?

Liam: But I already have one present.

Me: Oh but you can have another one!

Liam: Oh wow! I can have 2 presents!

Me: (speechless)

He ended up having 3 presents because my dad called from Singapore and said he would like to sponsor a present for the little one, so you can imagine his happiness! The mom in me just hopes to instil inner contentment and simple joys in the hearts of my little ones. Happiness doesn't lie in the size of a party or the number of presents one is lavished with.

I felt sad that we couldn't have guests over for his birthday this year. So that's why I decided to decorate the place & make the day as memorable as possible.

Liam enjoyed being in the center of attention for the day and getting calls from family and friends made him feel so special. It's such a poignant reminder for myself that as much as life can be isolating / uncertain as it in right now, God has still blessed us with so much we can be thankful for. I will always be thankful & grateful to God for this gift to be a Mom and to learn and grow with my kids.

We bought this letter garland which is sooo practical! If you look closely, you can see that each letter can be detached and re-used. That's fantastic for multiple kids in a family. You can have a professional-looking garland without having to go through the hassle of making it yourself.

Look at how proud Liam looked! He wore a DIY knight crown that we made together once at craft group. The Hot Wheels toy is what he got from us and my Dad.

I told them to look crazy

Somehow they always need to make rabbit ears

Look at that death stare! LOL.

I baked a brownie chocolate cake and decorated it with M&Ms. Liam wanted to have a chocolate strawberry cake but strawberries are not in season yet so we compromised with M&Ms. I also baked some German vanilla Kipferls - traditional German Christmas cookies because I had to get rid of some ground hazelnuts.

The boys played with sparklers!

Isabelle was so fascinated by the sparklers but Liam was positively terrified

Let's try to ignore Isabelle's picking of her nose. Lol.

Finally, one photo with me in it!

Liam couldn't take his eyes off the scary sparklers!

My big boy!

Blowing candles must be one of the best things ever as a birthday kid!

The boys totally enjoyed playing with the new toy!

-------------

Dear Liam

You are such a sweet kid. You lavish Mummy with hugs and kisses and I'm so enjoying it until the day when you don't do it anymore. You still sleep next to Mummy's bed because you haven't started kindergarten yet. Our deal was that when you start kindergarten, you can graduate to the big boy bed, but since that is nowhere in sight, Mummy shall continue to enjoy having you as my roommate.

Once in your half sleep, you came over and said, "Mummy, I really like you very much", hugged me and you went back to sleep after that. Can you imagine how Mummy's heart melted into a million pieces?

You really enjoy learning how to cook and bake!

Whenever you see me in the kitchen, you would ask if you can help me and would proceed to wash your hands first! Mummy appreciates having a little elf and who knows, maybe you'll be a chef one day!

You made banana muffins here

Here you were using a real knife to chop up veggies!

Look at how happy you were making chicken nuggets! And yes, you finished breading the nuggets all by yourself! And you persevered until you were done with almost 1kg of chicken breast!

End product!

You love doing crafts!

We usually do craft together every Tuesday afternoon with a very nice Russian lady. But the Family Center has been closed since the shut down. We really need to start doing crafts by ourselves again!

Life as the youngest of 3 boys

My 3 blessings

The boys are sooo good at games by now!

You are the youngest of 3 boys. As much as you love having 2 older brothers to look up to, it hasn't been a bed of roses for you either. You are always trying your darnest to catch up with them and you feel frustrated when you can't.

You picked up cycling just a few days before the shutdown. Thank God! Wow! We tried to get you to cycle a few weeks prior but you were too scared. Somehow though, when we tried again, you picked it up sooo quickly! And what better timing because all playgrounds are closed and there's hardly anywhere we can go to. Since then, we've been cycling as family of 6!

Once, Gabe had to use the toilet desperately so he decided to speed home with Sam, leaving you to cycle home with Mummy. I didn't see it as a problem, but boy oh boy. You were so upset! You cried buckets and was so overcome by your emotions! You simply couldn't understand why your brothers left you behind. Mummy's patience was honed up a notch because she had to wait in the cold for you to calm down before we could resume our cycling again.

This was the first time I realised how a seemingly small incident can have such an effect on the mind of a 4-year old. I realised if I were in your shoes, I would of course feel so upset at the whole situation as well. Needless to say, that was the first and last time your brothers sped home without us (you).

You have also learnt how to play Monopoly, chess, this German game called, "Dame". It's becoming so much more fun to play with you!

Life as an older brother to a 1-year old sister

I'm so proud of how you've grown in your role as older brother to Isabelle. It's not easy being dethroned from being baby of the family but you have really done it with grace. You absolutely adore your baby sister and would look for her once you've woken up. With your two older brothers usually at school (before corona), your constant playmate has been Isabelle, who has also started playing with regular lego at the age of one. You two share an amazing bond.

You're mild in temperament, so even when you've had your tantrums, you've been able to listen to reason and make wise decisions. We pray that you'll learn to hear the still small voice of God at a young age and you won't be fazzled by problems but you'll always live a life of faith, knowing that with God you can climb every mountain.

We love you very much young man!

Mummy & Daddy

The end of a decade - A recap of our past 10 years!

2019-12-31T00:41:00.003+01:00

We went to church last Sunday where the pastor preached about how we are not only at the dawn of a new year but a new decade! 2020. The 2010s are going to be over in less than 24 hours.

I had to think about how old I will be when we are done with the 2020s. Yikes. I'll be in my late 40s!

He went on talking about how we need to be intentional about our time. Prioritising our important goals before mindless scrolling of social media (for myself). As I'm typing this, it's the 30th of December and I saw a couple of my friends' book list for 2019. I'm ashamed to say that I have yet to finish reading one book! One of them, a mom of 5 read 50 books this year. That's 4 books a month! 1 book a week. My first thought was, "How on earth does she carve out the time?"

But it really all boils down to priorities, doesn't it? If I'm honest with myself, if I was intentional with my reading, I would bring my book to the playground when the kids play and read on the bench. Or to the Family Centre downstairs where the kids play quite independently anyway.

I thought what better way to commemorate the past 10 years than to have a little recap! I inserted some links to my blog entries, so feel free to have a read!

2010 - God answered our prayers and we got pregnant with our first babe!

After struggling to get pregnant for 1.5 years, we finally got pregnant at Christmas! I won't mince words. I was teaching for 3.5 years and somewhere somehow, I lost so much motivation because I didn't like the work environment. I kept toying with the idea of changing jobs but somehow didn't have the peace about it since we were also trying to conceive and I really want to have some maternity benefits. That meant though, that I was quite miserable for the 1.5 years that took us to get pregnant.

But guess what? God really rewards perserverance! That's because I could continue to claim maternity benefits with my school for up to 3 children! I didn't have to pay insurance (since I was insured by the state) and when the school shut down, they paid me more than 8 years of compensation even though I technically only taught for 3.5 years! It's truly God's providence! - Even if I only saw it at the end.

Little Sam was already growing in my belly in this pix!

2011 - I became a first-time Mom to Sam!

Our first family photo as parents!

Oh boy, were we clueless! Like massively clueless! I had nooo idea that a newborn wakes up every 2-3 hours to be fed. Can you believe it? I kept praying for baby to sleep longer and was shocked at how frequently baby woke up and needed a diaper change / feed!

Motherhood hit me like a rock. It was / is the most challenging, rewarding, crazy and mad adventure I've ever been on. The first year after Sam's birth, I just knew I had to cling onto God every single day for strength and grace and more grace.

2012 - I got pregnant again!

We were told to wait for 1 year after Sam was born by caesarean. So being the obedient people we were, we waited!

And once he turned one, we tried to get pregnant again and were gobsmacked when it worked out immediately! Funnily enough, we found out we were pregnant with Gabriel while we were on holiday in Teneriffe, Spain and while drinking (a lot) of wine. Sam and Gabriel have a 22-month old age gap and boy oh boy, 2013 was interesting!

Our photo shooting in Teneriffe when Sam was 1 and I was 4 weeks preggy with Gabriel

I turned 30!

I ushered in the 30s with a fabulous P-party! P for "Priscilla" you see. Every guest had to come dressed in a character that started with "p". It was the first time I had a costume party and I totally loved it! Everybody was so sporting and came dressed to the nines! It made me realise that after 6 years in Germany, I do have friends!

2013 - Gabriel, our second boy was born!

Our first photo of the 2 boys together!

Gabriel's birth was a story of healing. I had a traumatic birth with Samuel that resulted in an unplanned C-section, so I was sooo scared to give birth again to my #2. My heart prayer was that I wouldn't have to be cut up again and can have a natural birth. Gabriel's birth was such a healing experience for me!!! Thank you God! I don't know if I would have a 3rd, let alone 4th baby if I had more than one caesarean.

2014 - The Lord blessed us with a place of our own!

We are so thankful we got a place of our own after renting for about 8 years. We moved into our new place with 2 children and are going to leave our current place with 4 children!

2015 - I got pregnant with Liam!

Our birth announcement that confused so many people! Somehow for each pregnancy, the Lord gave us a special verse for each baby. This was the verse we had for Liam. It was so apt because we had a pregnancy scare with him. It resulted in us changing my gynaecologist because I wasn't happy with her bedside manners. She was discussing "exploring our options" (ie. abortion) even before we knew whether Liam was healthy or not. I held on to the verse we got for him and prayed God's protection over him. It all turned out to be a scare and Liam was born a healthy baby boy in March 2016!

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." Ps 16:8

2016 - Liam was born!

I thought I had a good birth with Gabriel. Liam's one turned out even better with me not needing epidural. I experienced the full-blow of a vaginal birth and it was one of the most empowering experiences I've ever had. I had / have so much respect for the body God has given to me and I'm so in awe that God used me to birth 3 boys!

2017 - The year I worked from home!

I started my own work-from-home business selling beauty products to slim, firm and tone the belly and to lose weight / get healthier. It was a wonderful experience when I learnt a lot about social media marketing and how to use Instagram to earn money! I loved all the products I used / sold and realise there's huge market potential to explore! When I got pregnant with Isabelle, I realised I needed to take a break because it was too hard having a pregnancy and taking care of 3 toddlers. It was a great experience nevertheless and I learnt so much!

2018 - I got pregnant and gave birth to our first girl, Isabelle!

After 3 boys, I must say that I had ZERO hope to be a girl-Mom. I always desired to have a baby girl and I had a very girly childhood growing up with an older sister, but I really didn't know if I could have a baby girl.

Gabriel was the one who prayed for a baby sister specifically. Don't ask me how he had the faith to do so. He just did. And before we knew it, Isabelle was conceived on 1.1.18 and born on 25.9.18! It was such an answered prayer!

I had a smooth birth with Isabelle but I must have injured my tail bone during the birth that resulted in months of physio, chiropractic, osteopathic treatments. I'm still trusting and praying for 100% recovery.

Isabelle is such a dream come true though. Her 3 brothers adore her so and she fits in so well playing with the boys and yet adding her own feminine touch with her constant need to hold anything with a handle and pretending that it's a handbag.

2019 - We are building a house of our own! (no photos yet)

Oh yeah, that's our next big project! We've been living in our current apartment for 5 years and felt the need to have a bigger place. God opened the door for us to buy our second home 10-mins from our current place. It's still a huge work-in-progress but we are trusting God step by step to see this project to completion!

And that's our last 10 years!!! Phew! I did it! It's such an eye-opener (even for myself) to see how the Lord has guided our steps for the past decade! I think that's why we, as Christians should read the Bible regularly so that we are encouraged by the progress and experiences of other Christians who have gone ahead before us. But we all serve the same God who is able and willing to help us through every single challenge in our life and to guide us like a personal shepherd.

The Bible verse for 2020 is "I believe, please help my unbelief" Mark 9:24

We pray that as we enter into a new year and a new decade, may we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who has gone before us, to pave the way for us. He is our Shepherd, our deliverer, our Master and friend and our Eternal Hope.

Dear Isabelle - 1 year old

2019-11-16T00:40:00.005+01:00

Dear Isabelle

You, my little princess have turned the big one! It's crazy how fast time flies when you're having fun! You are our 4th baby and we wish time would stand still for you! But you have 3 older brothers to show you the ropes, so you're ever so impatient to join them in everything! Here's a little interview of you at 13 months old!

So, tell me about Isabelle! What is she like?

Isabelle is a relatively calm baby who smiles and laughs a lot. But she's got a pretty determined (ie. stubborn) streak such that once she has set her mind on something, she would not give up until she's succeeds. That explains how she would be gingerly taking her first few steps one day and proceed to cruising through the house in just a matter of days! Her motor skills are really advanced, this one!

She absolutely loves the little Ikea chair in her brothers' room and would very often climb onto it and place her little butt there! She's also a cheeky little monkey who would climb up the sofa and bed that is three-quarter her height!

What does she like to eat?

She has a very healthy appetite and eats pretty much anything Mummy cooks! But her all-time favourite food is mango, raspberries, kiwi and bananas (in that order). Her palate is very developed because she eats the same food as the entire family. She loves to self-feed, which results in a lot of cleaning up for Mummy & Daddy!

Does she sleep through the night now?

She's a great sleeper in that she falls asleep relatively quickly by herself. She still wakes up once a night to nurse but since she is co-sleeping, Mummy and Isabelle do not wake up much at night. At the moment, she seems to be teething so that explains her more frequent night wake-ups.

What's her routine like?

She doesn't have a fixed routine because she's often following Mummy and Liam to do things around the house and pick up her older brothers from school. She absolutely loves going on the swing and would squeal in delight whenever we place her on one.

How do the boys treat their sister?

The two older boys pretty much dote on their younger sister. Unfortunately this results in them trying to parent her as well. The youngest boy, Liam is more of a play buddy with Isabelle because they only have a 2.5-year age gap.

Does she talk?

She loves saying "Mama" and "Dada". While she seems to know that "Mama" refers to "Mummy", "Dada" seems more of blabbering for her. She understands the meaning of "no" and has (finally) stopped putting lego into her mouth. You can tell that she's processing a lot of information in her brain when you talk to her. I have no doubt that she will be a talker because she blabbers from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed - a typical girl really!

What does it feel like to have a girl after 3 boys?

Honestly, it still feels really surreal for me. Even after 1 year, I still find it hard to believe we have a baby girl in our family! Its definitely very fun to be able to dress her up in girls' clothes. I'm going to milk it as long as it lasts (ie. before she insists on choosing her own clothes). It does feel like being a first-time Mom all over again because Isabelle gives a feminine flavour to our testoterone-dominant family.

How did you celebrate her first birthday?

It was a very chilled affair! We had immediate family members and close friends over.

The hub baked a Russian cheesecake and brownies. I was in-charge of the decorations - which we got from Amazon. This time, I went all out to have a pink party! It was so fun! And girly! But guess what? The helium itself cost way more than the balloons! Argh. Lesson learnt!

Our guests stayed for dinner. But this time, instead of cooking dinner, we decided to just heat up some frozen pizza! It was the BEST.THING.EVER! I could actually enjoy the party with my baby girl and talk to my guests! I think this will be the muster of our future parties. Just more chill and no more slogging in the kitchen food-wise.

At first, I thought I should do bake the birthday cakes and cook dinner. But the hub kept telling me to keep it simple. Soo, I really had to get over myself and my Asian cook-up-a-storm mindset, to simply feed my guests. Germans are happy with Abend Brot (evening bread with cold cuts of ham and cheese). So, I'm a happy camper to feed my German family and friends.

Sounds awesome! How are you coping as a Mom to 4, 8 and under?

Hmm, what can I say. It is a lot of juggling and being on the ball. Some days are just crazy madness. Some days, like Wednesdays are awesome! Since last week, my in-laws have started taking the two younger ones in the afternoon, while the 2 older ones stay in school longer. I actually had my first-ever kids-free day in years!! I'm so definitely going to book myself in for a massage soon!

I'm always praying to God for wisdom, strength, lotssss of patience and grace for the parenting tasks at hand. I make a lot of mistakes! But I'm constantly reminded that God is my children's Father and I'm just a steward that He has chosen for my children. God sustains me and my husband day after day. Motherhood is honestly the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life and yet the most challenging one at the same time.

Dear Isabelle

We pray that you will know that you are so loved by all of us and by our Heavenly Father! Don't define yourself by the world's definition of beauty, because God looks at the heart. I pray that you will be a mighty princess warrior for God, but always have a gentle and quiet spirit that draws your strength from Christ. Grow well little one! Enjoy your toddlerhood and try not to skip all these milestones in your hurry to keep up with your 3 older brothers ok. We need you to stay young and babyish for a little longer.

Love
Mummy & Daddy

xoxox

So proud of my little pink party!

The boys were so excited about the candles

My DIY decoration! Liam and Gabriel both did the center pieces.

close-up!

It's all about presentation right? Brownies on top and Russian cheesecake at the bottom

This was a last-minute savoury dish. Egg mayo with spring onions to be eaten with the brown crackers. The flower bouquet was also DIY!

My 6, 3.5 and 8 year old!

She was quite dazed because she had just taken a nap and woke up to her birthday celebrations!

My ex-pastor came along with his wife! It was soo good to touch base with them again!

My church mates!

Mummy is so happy to score your 5€ Zara jacket!!

See how much you have grown in the past 12 months?

Dear Gabriel - 6 years old

2019-09-26T10:40:00.003+02:00

This post is sooo late. It's already end September and Gabriel's 6th birthday was back in early July. But I've always had an update of the kids on their birthday, so here goes!

It's so true that the days are long but the years are short. Gabriel will always be our chilli padi. We had a very difficult first year with him when he cried a lot! I remember thinking I'm so thankful that Gabriel isn't our firstborn, because he might very well be our last!

Fast forward 6 years and he has just started elementary school. He's truly excited about joining his older brother in school. Having a 22-month age gap between them really paid off. They experience milestones so closely together and can go to the same kindergarten and school. I pray that they will have such a wonderful relationship that lasts the test of time and they would be each other's closest supporters and encouragers in life!

For myself, I always feel the pinch that I don't have more one-on-one time with my second-born. He's one who thrives on personal time since he's not much of an extrovert like Sam is. He was also breastfed the longest of all my kids - so far. I think he could even say "boob" when he wanted milk! Lol. Before he started kindergarten, he would be a night owl like myself and we would fall asleep together, with him holding my hand.

This year, we decided to throw a kids birthday party just for him instead of doing a combined birthday party with Sam in August. Reason being that he would not see most of his kindergarten friends anymore and we were in Singapore in August.

-----------------

Dear Gabriel

You have turned six! We are so proud of the person you've become. The past year saw you growing as a child because Isabelle was born. Somehow, having a 5-year age gap with Isabelle, you've really blossomed in your role as an older brother. Yes, you have a younger brother in Liam but you and Liam seem to be at loggerheads, whereas you really love being the older one towards Isabelle. Well, that's not entirely true. You and Liam play AMAZINGLY well together a lot of times too. You love playing lego and chess together. Chess! You actually taught Liam how to play Chess. I think you secretly enjoy winning all the time, while Liam does not seem to mind losing since he just enjoys being able to play chess at all!

You love to talk and have the wildest of all imaginations. You looked up in the night sky once and claimed that you saw an astronaut! You express yourself in drawing. Honestly boy, you draw wayyy better than anybody in the family! Your pictures are so creative and they capture your imagination! I need to take some photos and post them here!

You have officially started elementary school for 1.5 weeks now. It has been a huge change for all of us. Your kindergarten used to be a stone's throw from home. Right now, your school is a 10-minute drive away. Our final goal is to get you to go to school with your older brother by public transport. We are still figuring out the logistics of it all because you and your brother have different starting and ending school times. It's been nothing short of a headache.

Personality-wise, you are more reserved and introverted. You take more time to familiarise yourself to a new environment and find new friends. That's totally fine baby. We pray that you'll find close friends who'll encourage you to be the best version of yourself. You love doing your homework, but need help to finish a task once you've started it.

Your love of craft and design continues to shine through. We think that you might be interested in creative art or design when you grow older. Swimming continues to be your favourite sport, mainly because that's the only sport you can do. Hah. We are all trying to take things slow now that we have 2 school-going kids and 4 kids in total.

Seeing your brother at the brink of being a tween, I'm too aware that time with you will fly by too quickly as well. We pray that God will give us wisdom for parenting you all.

Organising your birthday party was a breeze! You had about 4 friends on your invite list, so we had a wonderful children party! Daddy and I decided to plan some games for you guys. However, all but one game went bust.

Your birthday is right in the middle of summer so we wanted to milk that by doing some water bombs. Unfortunately, we were not able to fill up the water balloons with water! What a bummer! The water balloons we bought were too small to fit into the tap! Try as we did, it was seriously to no avail. Hence, there went our first game!

Our second game was newspaper game. You all had to dance to the music and as soon as the music stopped, you would have to stand on the newspaper - 2 people to one newspaper. With each round, the newspaper would get halved, then quartered and even smaller. It was so fun watching you children have a blast!

Our third game was passing the balloons and when the music stopped, one child would have to burst the balloon and do the task written on the paper in the balloon. This game went bust as well because we were not able to execute it! It was too windy downstairs so the balloons kept flying away! We decided to salvage the remaining balloons and continue the game in the garden next to our house. Unfortunately, as soon as we threw the balloons over the fence, each balloon starting bursting after the next because the grass / shrubs were too sharp for it! You should have seen Daddy's face when that happened. He looked positively pissed. Lol.

That was when we decided we would call it day games-wise and just let you children play at the playground. That was really the best idea really. You children simply wanted to have fun having unstructured play. After that, it was presents opening time and you kids spent a full 30 mins just playing with the lego that you got! You could choose some presents that you wanted at Müller (a drugstore) so your friends could get them for you. Needless to say, all your presents were legos! Nothing else!

We love you so much our beautiful second boy. You had so much fun at your birthday! We pray that you'll adjust well to your new primary school and make like-minded friends who would encourage you to be the best version of yourself!

Love
Mummy & Daddy

Gabe and all his friends - 4 from kindergarten and 2 from church

Clowning around

I must say he hangs out with cool, well-behaved kids!

We had simple kids-friendly food - fruit salad, chips and a Russian Zupfkuchen (cheesecake with chocolate!)

Look at that grin!

Newspaper game - starting off by dancing to the music on a big piece of newspaper

The newspaper gets progressively smaller

Getting creative with limited leg space

Trying the balloon game before the balloons started to fly away

Ready, set, go!

Before finally deciding on playground time instead

All the fun just running around with a ball

Ending off with lego time - pardon the mess! It's our office / housework space

Dear Isabelle - 6 months old

2019-04-17T22:52:00.001+02:00

Dear Isabelle

You're already half a year old! Mummy is so not ready to celebrate your first birthday yet, so please slow down with your growing up my baby girl.

Mobility

You are officially a crawler! You've been on your belly for a while and finally you decided that enough was enough, so one day you left your playmat! Mummy was so surprised when you were in a different spot from where I left you. Unlike your brothers, you actually managed to crawl forward instead of backwards at first try. Well done you!

Now, we have to make sure that your brothers' loose legos are not scattered all over the floor because it won't be long before you realise you can actually pick things up and put them in your mouth.

Food intake

Honestly baby, you're still 100% breastfed. Usually Mummy would introduce solids at the 6-month mark but since you're so well-fed and contented with breastmilk, we have decided to continue to breastfeed you exclusively for a longer time. You are very interested in food though and often make chewing movements when you see us eat. We have given you bits of bread, cheese, pear, banana and even rice for you to nibble. What can I say? You're a foodie really!

First accident

Oh baby girl, unfortunately you experienced your first major accident 2 weeks ago. It happened at the paediatrician of all places. We brought you there for your 6-month check-up and your older brother Liam climbed onto the bed where you laid down. Just when I was undressing your for your check-up, Liam insisted on climbing down the bed. However, Mummy was unable to coax him to climb down by himself. He kept insisting that he needed my help. Just when Mummy was guiding his leg to reach the step at the side, that was when the doctor's assistant screamed. Mummy was unable to react in time and the next thing I knew, you were lying on the floor, screaming your lungs out.

It was the most terrifying thing ever. It was quite a high bed and I was totally in shock. You screamed, Liam cried and Mummy almost cried, but managed not to. The doctor examined you immediately and he said you're fine. We even had an X-ray of your skull to see if there were any internal injuries and thank God, there was nothing.

Mummy examined you, expecting to see a huge bruise / bump on your forehead, but there was nothing! Just a slight scratch and redness, but no obvious sign that you had a terrible fall. It was really quite a miracle! Mummy is 100% convinced that God really sent his angels to protect you! You were really unscathed from the whole ordeal.

Thank God, Thank God, Thank God! At moments like this, Mummy is really reminded on the fragility of life and how dependent we are on God!

Size

You are about 8.2kg and 68cm at 6 months. You're pretty much at 50% percentile for length and 90% for weight. Know what I mean about why I know you're well-fed with breastmilk? In a baby's first year, 100% of your nutrition comes from breastmilk, so Mummy is going to milk the whole breastmilk goodness for what its worth.

Personality

You continue to be a happy and easily contented baby. You love sleeping in the stroller and would wake up with all smiles. You have started to experience separation anxiety and would no longer allow any stranger to carry you. Even Daddy has a hard time putting you to bed these days. Oh well, Mummy has got to try to enjoy these exclusive moments with you even more. Thank God that you're more mobile these days so that means you can be put on the floor where you crawl around and Mummy doesn't have to carry you all over the house.

Sleep habits

You're not sleeping through the night yet. You still wake up for feeds at least twice a night. I don't mind that really, because it means that you sleep longer in the morning. We co-sleep and you enjoy snuggling up to Mummy.

Family time

Your brothers continue to adore you with Gabriel having such a soft spot for you. Mummy can always count on Gabriel to take care of you and soothe you if you're crying.

I think that pretty summarises what you're like at 6 months old! We love you little Munchkin! We pray that you'll continue to be little sunshine that you are and that God will be the source of your light and strength for each day of your life!

Love,
Mummy & Daddy

Dear Liam - 3 years old

2019-04-08T18:31:00.000+02:00

Dear Liam

As I'm writing this, it's the eve of your 3rd birthday. I find it hard to pen down in words what I'm feeling in my heart. All kinds of emotions really.

Sappy. Proud. Sad. Nostalgic.

Like most Moms would know, the days are long but the years are short. For myself, birthdays are a time when I look back and reminisce on the past 365 days gone. I know that the days I have with my kids are fleeting and that I should hold on to the best memories and discard the worst! Or maybe blog about it and embarrass them on their wedding day! *kidding*

Liam, you are such a sweet sweet kid. You're so smart and eloquent. You form full sentences by yourself and enunciate them with your gentle melodic voice. A friend once said that you sound like you're singing when you speak.

You love to watch "Fast and furious" and have a penchant for "Lighting McQueen". You asked for a Lighting McQueen puzzle for your birthday, so that's what we got you! Together with a remote-controlled Lighting McQueen car.

You're so talented at doing jigsaw puzzles, it's incredible! You can even fix a puzzle upside-down! You love crafting. You insist on cutting out shapes by yourself and can concentrate on a task until its done.

You're so helpful! You actually delight in helping Mummy to do things around the house. Even when Mummy is on the toilet, you will insist on tearing out toilet paper for her. #truth

You're still around Mummy 24/7 because you will only start kindergarten in September. Your 2 other brothers started kindergarten at 3, but you, my child will start at 3.5 years. Honestly, I love having you around the house. We have very relaxed mornings when you bond with your sister and you play with all the toys on your own before your brothers come home and you'd have to share everything. (Ie. fight for every toy).

You're learning how to control your emotions. Whenever you're very pissed about something, you will let out the highest-pitched scream. Mummy will give you a time-out then, because that's the only thing that helps you to get out of your tantrum.

Oh, you're fantastic at acting. When someone hits you, you will fall onto the ground dramatically AND stay lying on the ground. *facepalm*

Once, you didn't even fall down immediately, but when you saw Mommy looking in your direction, you turned around and flung yourself to the ground just to show me that you got hit. Daddy said that you should be a football player because your acting skills will be put to great use!

We're probably going to start you on a swim course soon so that you can swim with your brothers! When we went to Munich to an indoor thermal pool recently, you would climb up the stairs and slide down the water slides for hours on end!

We think that you're an audio learner because you pick up songs ever-so-easily and your sentences are so advanced for your age. You're probably also a fast learner because you have 2 older brothers from whom you pick up your skills from.

It's not easy being the youngest of 3 boys and you're constantly in a power struggle with your second brother. You seem to look up to your oldest brother but you have a competitive edge with your second brother. We hope and pray that in time to come, you'll realise that you both are so different and equally wonderfully and beautifully made AND you're on the same team! There's simply no room for comparison and competition, since you two are so unique and have such different strengths and talents.

Your favourite bible stories are "Baby Moses" being rescued by Pharaoh's daughter and "David and Goliath". You also love the books "Zoo" and "We're going on a bear hunt".

You're my only child who loves to eat his salad. I remember the first time you told me you wanted to try my salad, I almost fell off my chair! So shocked I was! Since then, you've taken a liking to cherry tomatoes, green salad and cucumber.

Little one, you're going to enter kindergarten soon. We pray that you'll meet wonderful friends and learn so many new skills. Most importantly, we pray that the Bible stories you hear about will become real to you! That you will know that the God in the bible, is the same God who hears your prayers and who is close to you in your heart. Continue to grow well little one. We are so proud of whom you've become and look forward to see how God continues to grow and mould your heart!

Love,
Mummy & Daddy

----------------------------

He was so excited for his birthday!!! Love witnessing him growing up!

Look at that dreamy look while he watched his "magic 3" sparkle on his cake!

The calm before the ~~storm~~ party

We bought 2 little cakes - choc & cheese cake from Breuninger. Absolutely loved them!

Centre piece of the car cake

Store-bought choc praline cake. I DIY the decoration with the bunting and bought the little Lighting toy car

Taking a family shot and thinking, "what a pity that Isabelle was still sleeping"

Immediately after this photo, Isabelle woke up so she could be part of the action!

Normal shot as a family of 6!

First crazy shot

2nd crazy shot. Liam looks exactly the same!

Kids' grandparents who absolutely dote on them!

3 boys & 1 girl

With our little guests!

Love all their funny faces!

We bought some canvas and acrylic paint so the kids could do some craft

Weather was gorgeous so we could paint on the balcony!

Liam loves painting and doing crafts!

The finished products! Can u guess who deferred from the norm?

Birthday boy with his presents

Look at how happy Liam is

Dear Isabelle - 3 months old

2019-01-16T22:12:00.001+01:00

Dear Isabelle

You turned 3 months old on Christmas Day! You're such a chilled and sweet baby, Mummy has no complaints whatsoever. We took your newborn photos when you were only 2 weeks old! You already look so different now! *sob*

Here's looking at you kiddo

I absolutely adore this photo of baby girl in her tutu skirt

A Daddy with his princess

Still feels so surreal to be able to dress my baby in a dress!

I'm a Mom of 4 now!

Look at how proud Gabriel is!

Sam is such an amazing older brother!

You did your first flip a few days ago. I have no idea how you did it. Mummy rarely makes you do tummy time as you've always been so contented on your back. But a few days after Christmas, you made your first flip! I think you were so surprised by yourself!

Sleep-wise, you've slept through the night a few nights. But it is not consistent. That's totally fine baby girl. You're allowed to wake up anytime in the night because I do treasure those middle-of-nights bonding times. #4thchildsyndrome

Your grandfather came to visit us over Christmas and New Year's. You totally charmed the socks off grandpa! He loved to carry you and you would coo and give him your beautiful smiles. This was definitely a breather for grandpa in comparison to your rowdy brothers who couldn't stop creating mayhem at home.

Size-wise, you're really tall my girl! You're wearing clothes meant for 6-months old and most clothes for 3-month olds are too small for you by now.

You enjoy taking showers and are ever-so-patient to wait for me to pick you up and put you under the running water. Patience is truly one of your virtues!

You're such a cheerful little girl. Even at night when you wake up for your feed, you would smile at Mummy when you see me in the shadows. Oh boy, how my heart melts when I see your dreamy smiles with half-closed eyes!

Your eye-to-hand coordination has improved by leaps and bounds! You're starting to grasp objects around you and wrap your little fingers around them. It's so fascinating to watch you discover the world around you, little one!

Gabriel continues to shower you with so much attention and hugs. He's got such a soft spot for you!

Mummy sees so much of myself in you. I do wish I have a baby photo to do a comparison, but let's suffice to say that you got your eyes from me!

Your maiden experience with snow!

Look at how much you've grown in the past 3 months!

My smiley girl in her Ralph Lauren dress from my Dad for Christmas

Keep growing well little one. Our precious little Princess! It's usually massively chaotic at home but we trust that God will keep holding and shaping your heart, so you'll experience the fullness of God's love for you everyday!

Love

Mummy & Daddy

Pregnancy #4 - Birth of our Princess Isabelle Sophie Tews

2018-10-20T01:21:00.001+02:00

Who do you think she looks like more?

Sooo, its been 3 weeks.

3 weeks since I gave birth for the 4th time.

3 weeks since we welcomed our princess into our family.

3 weeks since I became intoxicated with the smell of having a newborn again.

Still, there are moments when I find it hard to believe that I'm a Mom of four now!

Time has become an even more precious commodity. So, without further ado, I shall attempt to summarise the last stage of my 4th pregnancy in words.

------------------------

Baby Isabelle Sophie Tews was born 4 days past her due date. I was feeling sooo uncomfortable and huge that I was just one grumpy preggie whale towards the end. Gosh, I feel sorry for my husband and kids for having to bear with me those last few days!

All my previous pregnancies became progressively shorter with Liam being born at 39 weeks. That's probably why I expected Isabelle to be born before 39 weeks. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I went past the 40 weeks mark with her!

Usually I'm fine about waiting past my due date but with gestational diabetes, I was under time pressure to get baby out because my gynae did not want to wait too long. In the worst-case scenario, they would induce the baby and with my previous C-section history with my firstborn, it would not be the most fun thing to do.

On Monday, at 40+3 weeks, I remember feeling off. I had a bit of cramps but it was nothing like real contractions.

25.9.18 (Tuesday) slightly past midnight -

We wanted to go to bed when I felt the crampy sensation getting worse. I wasn't sure if this was the real thing because I've been having Braxton hicks contractions all the time.

I decided to take a nice warm shower to see if the contractions would ease off. They didn't.

By the time I got out of the shower, I knew that this was it.

The in-laws had just left for their vacation so there went our back-up. We didn't expect baby to come in the night, so we did not really ask anybody to be on standby.

I knew that we had to think fast, so we decided to ring our immediate neighbour's doorbell. Thank God, the guy answered and he agreed to stay over at our place while we made our way to the hospital. The timing was fantastic too, cos all 3 kids were already sleeping soundly when we left.

Usually I would have laboured a bit more at home but I didn't want to risk anything because I remember how my Mom told me that she almost gave birth to my brother (her 4th child) in the car.

1.15am - Arrived at Charlottenhaus (the hospital)

I was the only woman in labour! Yay!! September had been an especially busy month at the hospital because more babies tend to be conceived over Christmas and New Year's. Lol. I prayed that the labour ward would not be busy when I was in active labour - Prayer Nr 1 answered!

Midwife checked me and I was only 3cm dilated. :(

I was monitored on the CTG machine for a while before she told me to walk around the hospital, go up and down the stairs and to come back in an hour's time.

2.30am - 5cm dilated

Even though it had only been 30mins, I decided to go back to the labour ward because I desperately had to use the washroom. And since I was back inside, the midwife examined me again. I was 5cm! That meant I dilated 2cm in 30mins! Awesome!

We discussed whether the midwife should break my water bag. I hesitated so much because I remember how much more intense the contractions get once the water bag is burst.

I kept asking if I could opt for an epidural if push came to shove. She said the anaesthestist was just a call away. We decided to wait.

2.45am - 7cm dilated

This was when the midwife said it's time to burst the water bag if I want to expedite the whole process. My cervix had softened and she said that baby would appear by 3am if we burst the water bag now.

She burst the water bag and examined me after that. I was 8cm gone, but I was not allowed to push because it was still too early.

I remember the first wave of contractions after the water bag was burst.

It was very intense and looooong! And ohhh the pain!!

Second contraction hit me like a rock and I started screaming for an epidural. The midwife said that baby would arrive before the anaesthetist came and I am totally able to give birth without an epidural - I just needed to believe in myself. But I was in so much pain, I insisted that the anaesthetist be called in.

Poor anaesthetist was woken up in the wee hours of the morning.

By the 3rd contraction, I felt the urge to push! 5 mins ago, I was only at 8cm so it was quite crazy that I would have to push after 3 contractions?? With NO epidural?!

Midwife examined me again and true enough, I was ready to go! What? Just 3 contractions later?!

Husband and midwife held me in a death-like grip so that I had to stay in the right position to give birth. I was lying on my back and the midwife was giving me instructions on how to push effectively. But I would have needed to roll my back forward instead of arching my back backwards.

Since I was having very intense back contractions, I would automatically arch my back backwards whenever the contractions came. But since I was held down by both of them, I had no choice but to stay in the most effective position to push baby out.

All I remember was trying to push as hard as I could. It must have been 4-5 pushes at most. I didn't even realise the baby's head was out. So imagine my surprise when I felt a slimy, wet sensation sliding out of me!!

3.15am - Baby Isabelle Sophie Tews was born!

She slid out so quickly and easily! I had no tears and needed no episiotomy. It was incredible! She was 54cm and 3920grams! My entire labour lasted 2 hours in hospital! What an answered prayer!!

I held my baby girl in my arms and was soooo overwhelmed by the fact that this baby girl was born! And she's a girl! I sorta knew baby would be a girl, but after 3 boys, I never really could believe this fact until I saw it myself!

I remember feeling more alive than I ever felt after my other labours! This was after all the shortest labour I've had. This meant that I didn't feel like I got hit by a bus (#1 pregnancy) and I didn't faint after giving birth either (#2 pregnancy).

They placed baby on me immediately for skin-on-skin contact. As I held her and stared at her face, I was so mesmerised at how she reminded me of myself as a kid! It's sooo surreal to finally be able to hold the baby that you've been carrying in your womb for 9 months!

I was sooo tired but I couldn't sleep during the 2 hours when I was lying down on the bed in the labour ward. I was too afraid that baby would slide off me! I breastfed Isabelle and had a whiff of the smell of BABY-freshness out of the oven!

-------------------------------

I read this book "Supernatural childbirth" by Jackie Mizie. She talks about how we can pray and trust God for a painless childbirth with no complications and tearing. I remember being challenged in my faith. I just prayed the same prayers that were written in that book. And honestly, those things I prayed about specifically actually came to pass! I was flabbergasted! My baby weighed almost 4kg and her birth was simply the best!

This is my 4th birth experience and I will never ever get tired of witnessing the miracle of life. A human being is made so intricately! When you're pregnant, you're so well-aware of everything that can go wrong. Pregnancy is such a minefield of emotions and learning to deal with the "what-ifs". You never take for granted a baby that is born healthy. How a baby forms in the womb is such a testimony of the existence of God! Yes, a baby is made between a man and woman. But that's the same as saying, I put flour, butter, eggs and sugar into an oven and expect a cake to come out. Someone has to do the baking and measurements and that person is GOD!

We are slowly adjusting to life with 4 little ones. Isabelle has been a pretty calm and relaxed baby so that helps a lot. Evenings are still very chaotic with having to prepare dinner and get all kids in bed, but we will get there!

I'm still on cloud 9 at having my own Princess to doll up and be my real-life model! All of our girly clothes have been given / lent to us by our friends! I love these hand-me-downs cos they are sooo gorgeous and well-loved! I'm so so so thankful to God for giving us a healthy baby to love on! This was the verse I sensed the Lord gave us when we were pregnant with Isabelle.

"Delight yourself in the Lord & He shall give you the desires of your heart". Psalm 37:4

Li En means "beautiful grace of God". I chose this name to sound like my late mother's name, "Lydia". To live in grace and grow in grace. That's my desire for Isabelle and myself!

------------------------------

Compare Isabelle's birth with:

- Samuel's birth
- Gabriel's birth
- Liam's birth

Isabelle Sophie Tews (Li En)

3920 Grams 54 cm

25.9.18

And after 2 hours, she's finally here!!! My precious daughter!

1- day old Isabelle meeting her siblings for the first time! The look on Gabriel's face says it all! He was the one who started asking & praying for baby sister!

Going home after 2 days at the hospital! Let the pink explosion begin!

A dress on my baby! Say what?!

3 boys & their little lady!

Another beautiful dress! Albeit with a hangry baby!

By far one of my favourite photos of Isabelle & I!

Pregnancy #4 - 38 weeks with 3 toddlers under one roof

2018-09-06T23:16:00.002+02:00

I'm well-aware that I'm almost done with this pregnancy but this is only my second blog entry! Truth be told, this pregnancy hasn't been a bed of roses. Sooo, I decided to write a summary of how the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy have been for me!

Warning: looooong post ahead!

MAD Braxton Hicks contractions

The most tiring part of this pregnancy has got to be the daily Braxton hicks contractions I've been experiencing since week 30. When they first started, I couldn't get out of my bed for 5 days! The effort it took for me to go to the washroom was intense. I was seriously worried that I would go into pre-term labour! After 2 visits to the gynaecologist, he reassured me that things are looking fine but for women with repeated pregnancies, sometimes the uterus can be "more active". I should try to take things slow. *great*

Having a NANNY for the first time

The sliver lining was that he prescribed me "family help" for the following weeks up until the birth of baby! I now have a nanny who comes by 8 hours a day to help me with the housework, kids and just be around as an extra set of hands and legs!

I can't tell you how AMAZING this is! I've never had a maid in Germany and this is incredible! The health insurance pays for the nanny and I'm able to have a breather in these last few weeks. This is seriously the first time I'm soo WOWed out by the amazing German state health insurance! And how AMAZING is God right? When I was feeling so trapped about how to survive the last 10 weeks of pregnancy, God provided such timely help in the form of a paid-for nanny!

Our nanny arrived just in the time for the start of the school holidays when all 3 kiddos are at home and my cleaner left for a 4-weeks holiday. I mean, how incredible is God's timing right?

I'm still a big, fat whale who has to alternate standing and sitting / lying down. I feel the stab of Mummy guilt when I just wish I could bring the kids for a nice day out but I also know that I can't overdo it with my physical activity.

Making it to full-term pregnancy!!!

I'm 38 weeks today and I'm such a huge ball of relief that I managed to make it this far! I delivered my 3 other babies between 39-41 weeks, with each subsequent baby arriving earlier. That gives me hope that this baby will make his / her appearance before the due date.

Sam went for this thing called "Forest home" for the past 3 weeks. He spent the entire day from 8.30am to 6pm outdoors and gets breakfast, lunch and dinner provided. I missed my big boy a lot but I knew that he had an awesome time.

Gabriel's very persistent cough and changing dynamics between Gabriel (5 yrs) and Liam (2 yrs)

During Sam's absence, war broke loose between my 2 younger ones. Gabriel missed his older brother with whom he does everything with. He hates sharing his lego with Liam who has a very destructive nature.

Gabriel's kindergarten closed for a 3-week summer break and this coincided with him nursing a very persistent cough. I've had to throw out all my plans of going to the outdoor pool / sending him for swim courses because the doctor didn't want him to exert himself. The poor bugger has had a very sedentary lifestyle in the hopes that this would help him to recover quicker. He hated going to the playground or cycling on his own. *sigh*

The level of screaming between my #2 and #3 was intense! I had no idea that Liam can scream that loud! Gabriel absolutely LOVES annoying his younger brother and Liam won't hesitate to yell at the top of his lungs. I have no idea how to teach Gabriel to stop annoying his brother! Or sometimes, Liam just yells because he can't stand Gabriel singing to himself. What's with all this yelling??!

After 3 weeks of WWIII, kindergarten finally started but I've not been able to wave the victory flag yet because.... Gabriel is still nursing this horrid cough. We are unable to send him to kindergarten because of his coughing fits.

The kids' original paediatrician was gone for a 3-week break and during this time, his father (also a PD) refused to give Gabriel any form of medication except for the usual "inhale some saltwater" advice. We made the effort to visit the PD 3 times!!! With no results!

When our doctor finally got back, I had a very serious conversation with him because it can't be that my boy has been having coughing fits for 4 weeks with no end in sight. We finally started on some proper medication yesterday and we hope and pray that things will improve quickly!

It's crazy how life is easier with 3 kids instead of 2! I'm so thankful that I can reap the benefits of a close age gap between Sam & Gabriel because of their ability to play so well with each other. I know that Liam and Gabriel will get there too, but at this point in time, they just fight like cat and mouse.

WORST heatwave in decades

We had the worst and hottest summer in decades! Since 2003 as a matter of fact. I moved to Germany in 2006, so this was the worst summer I've had! I know, I come from Singapore so I shouldn't complain about heat right? WRONG! We don't get such sweltering temperatures like during a heatwave in Europe. Temps soared to 40 degrees in some countries! There's no air-con and the clear blue skies made sure that there wasn't any cloud layer to filter out the stinging sun rays. It was hard figuring where to bring the kids to especially since we couldn't go to the pool - Gabriel's cough remember? Surviving this heatwave with a heavily-pregnant belly, I think I deserved some form of Academy Award! #nojoke

Day trip to the Animal Farm

Once, we managed a day trip to the animal park where the kids could feed the animals. I honestly felt like the best Mom in the world! The 2 boys played so immensely well together! It was a pretty shaded park so we managed to get some respite from the sweltering heatwave. I managed to take short breaks to alleviate the Braxton hicks contractions.

Love how happy we looked!

Playing so nicely together

They play so well together when we're outdoors

Liam was fearless when feeding the deers

Love how he eats his chocolate ice-cream!

My reflections for having a #4 child soon!

For myself, I'm such a ball of emotions these days. After experiencing it 3 times, I know how much life will change with a new addition to the Tews family. My biggest nostalgia is knowing that Liam will no longer be the baby of the family. It happened with Sam, then Gabriel and now Liam. And even though I know this is part and parcel of having a new baby, it still doesn't make the feeling of loss any easier.

I know that I can neither keep my babies small nor under my wings forever, but the very-preggy me still feels so teary thinking about it. On the other hand, I'm deeply convinced that God will provide me with a bigger heart and grace that I so desperately need for this new stage of my life.

I guess the conundrum of motherhood is loving children enough to want to have more children and yet feeling your limitations that you can't have one-on-one time with each child as much as you'd want to. If only I had unlimited energy and capacity, I would have kids and still be able to shower each one with the undivided love and attention as I could a single child.

Still, I look at Sam and think about what a responsible and independent child he is and I just know that he got these traits because he's the oldest in the family. And oh, how I love ALL my children! I'm just so happy being a Mom. So thankful. So grateful. So soaking in the knowledge that it is such a blessing and privilege to be able to pour out my love on my kids and teach them God's values.

I'm no perfect mom. But I know that motherhood is God's purpose for me in this season of my life. And oh boy, how I would want to grow in my character and be so dependant on God. Thank you God for entrusting these young ones to me. Please help me to love on them and in my imperfections may your strength be made perfect. In Jesus name, Amen.

"You are as much serving God in looking after your own children, training them up in God's fear, minding the house, and making your household a church for God as you would be if you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of hosts" Charles Spurgeon

Me at 35 weeks pregnant when we had a combined birthday celebration for the boys - blog post coming up!

Dear Gabriel - 5 years old

2018-08-23T18:01:00.004+02:00

Dear Gabriel

You have turned 5 years old!! Come September, you would enter your final year at kindergarten and eventually start school officially next year! How does time fly by so quickly?!

We had a simple birthday celebration for you surrounded with family and close friends. What a lovely afternoon it was! You totally basked in the centre of everybody's attention. We just had a huge children birthday party for you and Sam at a farm!

My dear lovely Gabe. You've really grown into your own skin since your older brother left kindergarten. The teachers at kindergarten say that you're a confident young boy who enjoys kindergarten.

I know its not easy being a middle child. Mummy was a middle child myself. You have an older brother who sets the standards for you to keep up with and a younger baby brother who seems to get all the attention.

But you know, you somehow seem to sail through this whole middle child syndrome. Mummy's prayer for you is that you will never feel like the sandwiched kid but you will know deep in your heart that you're oh so precious and important! You're so unique in your personality and there is nobody else like you in the entire world!

You do children's gym and go for swim course every Friday and you absolutely love it! Your swim coach tells me that you're pretty advanced in your swimming skills.

You have a very caring nature and have such a soft spot for your little brother, Liam and would very often give in to his wants and wishes. Sometimes though, you insist on getting on his nerves by riding the Bobby car and beaming gleefully that you managed to get the car before your brother. That's when WWIII ensues and Mummy would have to intervene before both of you beat each other up.

You're still the best and fastest eater among the 3 children and you very often tell Mummy that I'm the "best cooker in the world".

Whenever you're upset or angry about something, you don't take much time to get back to your usual happy self. That's something I really appreciate about you because Mummy makes mistakes and I'm so grateful that you're not one to bear grudges or make me feel bad when I say, "sorry".

You have a real child-like faith and you started praying for a "baby sister" even before Mummy & Daddy decided if we would even want a 4th child. A few more weeks and everyone will know whether baby is a boy or girl!! We're so excited!

You have such a way with words. Mummy is 9 months pregnant now and feeling like a total whale and definitely not attractive. But whenever Mummy wears a dress or just something nice, you'll be the first to say, "Mummy, you're so pretty!" If only you knew how much your words light up my heart! You're so encouraging, thanks for loving Mummy the way you do!

We love you our little firecracker. Life is sooo beautiful with you in our lives and we pray that God will continue to guide and grow you little heart everyday.

Love
Mummy & Daddy

A very simple summerly birthday spread!

Last few photos as a family of 5!

With your grandparents

Love how happy you looked!

With your friend P. and your presents

Excited to get a bigggg present!

It's a snorkel and snorkeling flippers!

Mission impossible to take a photo with all kids looking at camera

Story of Baby #4 - A journey of God's Grace

2018-07-15T23:07:00.000+02:00

So.... here I am 30 weeks gone and still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that I'm going to have a 4th baby!

Growing up, I told myself I would never have 4 kids. My parents have 4 children you see. I always found a family with 4 kids too big. You need a larger car, you never really get to travel far because hello crazy expensive plane tickets? And don't even get me started about how would you afford an apartment with 5 bedrooms?

I never even considered myself a person who loves young kids. When I was growing in my parents' church, I would often shun away from serving in the children ministry because hmm... let's just say I have enough "children ministry" at home. My two younger brothers are 8 and 9 years younger than me respectively and I was the defacto nanny chasing after them wherever we went.

Who would have thought that I would end up being a stay-home-Mom who totally found my passion in life by having MY own kids?

Maybe giving birth changed me. My first-time experience being a Mom with Samuel was the hardest. I had a difficult labour and unplanned C-section that left me in so much pain. My husband had started a brand-new job halfway across the country and I was left to my own devices for endless hours! I still shudder at the thought of those brand-new lonely motherhood days when every new experience felt like a challenge and uphill battle! Oh how I used to fret about the sleepless nights or whether I had enough breastmilk. I consulted Dr Google wayyy too often and I doubted myself wayy too much.

Fast-forward almost 7 years and I have 3 young boys (aged 2, 5 and soon-to-be 7). I don't have a nanny or maid. But a trusty dishwasher and a cleaner who comes by once a week.

I have ceased to consult parenting books. I sieve through people's well-meant advice a LOT. I no longer absorb other people's opinions like a sponge. When I get unsolicted advice, I just nod my head and go "uh huh". I go with the flow SO.MUCH.MORE. Kids are sick, ok. Are they dying? Can they breathe? Yes? Ok, let's wait and see how they are tomorrow. I no longer run to the doctor at any sign of distress. I'm able to decipher each child's moods / emotions / tantrums / illness so much better.

And most of all. I'm better able to trust my own instincts and God so much more. Baby doesn't sleep through the night? No biggy. I'll just enjoy snuggling with him cos I know that he WILL sleep-through the night at some point in time!

And each time I have a newborn, I'm more aware of the transience of time. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed Liam's first 2 years. He has made it pretty easy for me too, cos he's an awesome sleeper. But I think it's also coupled with the fact that I didn't stress myself up over every single problem. I embraced the "And this too shall pass" mentality. I never knew if I would go for a 4th, so I treasured each of Liam's milestone / newborn stage as my last.

That said, we DID go for a 4th! So... here's our story!

We both spent a lot of time talking and praying about our decision to go for a 4th. We don't take this decision lightly because we know how full our hands are with 3 kids. I struggled a lot, because I know that our chances of having a 4th boy is well.... very high?

To be honest, I LOVE having boys. I love my 3 boys. I love being a boy mom. And as much as I'd love to have my first girl, I would totally welcome our 4th boy into our family too!

The only thing I need to brace myself is for the comments from people. Moms of 4 babies of one gender whether all girls or all boys are the butt of jokes / mindless comments. I always feel like I need to defend my boys and tell people "No, 3 boys are NOT bad. They are NOT always wild. I'm NOT going crazy with the boys". I don't know how often I got the pitiful look from people for having 3 boys. I LOVE my boys!!! Why on earth would someone tell me it's "a pity" to have 3 boys and I should "try for a girl!" Drives me mad.

First trimester -

Oh boy. The fatigue hits you like a rock! I was one exhausted Mama! I became a social hermit and cancelled all my social appointments, reserving my limit reservoir of energy just for tending to my 3 kids and my household. Once, I felt asleep on the floor in the hallway(!!) after bringing the kids back home! That was how knackered I was! I was nauseous for the whole of 14 weeks!

Second trimester-

I felt much better physically but my 3 kids and hub fell terribly sick. The hub was sick and lethargic for 4 full weeks! Winter viruses can be brutal!

I went to A&E cos I actually thought I was having a heart attack. It turned out to be a false alarm, thank God! I kept having pressure in my rib cage and I had no idea why. So when my left arm had the worst tingling sensation and I felt my baby finger lose sensation, I really thought it was a heart issue cos that’s what Dr Google said. Google “chest pressure and left arm pain”.

Doc reassured me everything was ok and even hooked me up to a heart machine just to assure me that I was fine! She said it’s most probably due to pregnancy hormones that cause everything to relax including the veins in my arms. When there’s too much fluid in my veins, it might cause a prickling sensation. I googled it and it turned out to be a common pregnancy symptom! Who would have known??!

Hayfever allergies were brutal! My second trimester coincided with the break of spring and while I welcomed the warmer temperatures, I couldn't stop sneezing and my eyes were so swollen and painful from the intense pollen concentration in the air! This being my 4th pregnancy meant that I had to seriously focus on squeezing my pelvic muscles whenever I had to sneeze! Not fun at all!

Fifth Disease scare. Gosh. Gabriel's kindergarten had a case of a kid geting the Fifth Disease, also known as "slapped cheek syndrome". I didn't think much about it until his teacher told my hubby to keep Gabriel away from kindergarten because I'm pregnant. Say what??

I called my gynae and was told that I needed to do a blood test to see if I'm immune to this virus. If I'm not and in the occasion that I contracted this virus, I would have to go for weekly ultrasounds at a specialist to see if baby is getting enough oxygen, because this virus could affect the red blood cell production of a fetus. #faint

I quarantined Gabriel at his grandparents for 5 days while I awaited the blood test results anxiously. It was seriously the most stressful period ever! When the nurse finally called me and told me that somehow by the grace of God, I'm immune to this virus, I totally burst out crying!

Gestational Diabetes .... again! I got tested early this pregnancy at week 20 because of my prior GD experience with Liam. It was quite a bummer, but now that I've been checking my blood sugar for the past 8 weeks and the figures are pretty good, I don't worry about it too much.

God's Blessings in this journey

Truth be told, I really wanted to go back to Singapore in August. But since this baby is due in September, I knew I wouldn't be able to fly in August.

Against my husband's advice, I went ahead to seek permission from Sam's school to ask if he could be excused from school for 2 weeks. We would then combine a 2-week school break together with the 2 weeks special permission break and travel sometime in Spring.

I figured, the most they would say is "no" and at least I know I have tried. Turns out, the school actually agreed to this audacious request of mine! Germany has a very strict no-vacation-during-school-term policy, to the point that policemen would sometimes patrol the airports to see if there are any parents breaking this rule! #facepalm

But guess what? Even after I got this special permission, I was unable to book any air tickets because of the 5th Disease scare and having to do my Gestational Diabetes test! By the time I had my test results and the green light from my doctor to take a flight, it was barely 10 days to the school holiday!

I was so uncertain about going back to Singapore with gestational diabetes because I was worried sick that eating out (which is my main reason for going back when pregnant), would cause my blood sugars to shoot through the roof.

Cheapest plane tickets - On Singapore Airlines no less!

When I checked for plane tickets and realised that Singapore Airlines had ticket prices at only 525€ (usual price hovers around 700€), I knew I had to go to Singapore!!! And hear this... SIA only had 7 tickets left at this price and we bought 5 of those tickets!!! I even had to ask the school to extend the number of days from 2 weeks to 2 weeks + 2 days!

Found the most amazing beach vacation venue!

Again.... we tried to book a beach vacation so we could do the European thing of lazing in the pool and sun, but try as I did, it was so hard finding a reasonably-priced hotel that would be willing to accomodate 3 kids - even if the 3rd kid still sleeps on our bed!

I spent 4 full days scouring the Internet and was just about the throw in the towel when my immediate neighbour came by my house and told me all about her brilliant holiday in Thailand at this amazing resort! And there was exactly where we went!

Managed to keep my sugar levels in check!

Remember my concern about eating out in Singapore? Turns out, everything worked out well! I could indulge in my favourite durians without any sugar spikes!!! I managed to eat everything I wanted and still keep within acceptable sugar ranges most of the time! It was such a relief! It was such a blessing to be able to satisfy my cravings instead of waiting another 1.5 years before I can go back to Singapore!

---------------------------

Yeah, so that's my pregnancy in a nutshell! Sooo much to say in just one update. I knew I had to document my journey because I'm still soooo amazed to see God's footprints in the whole journey! I'm so grateful and thankful for God's grace each step of the way.

And that's exactly how I intend to approach my 4th pregnancy. When people ask me how I will manage with 4 kids without a maid, I'll just say, "With God, all things are possible!"

My only ultrasound photo of our littlest one!

Dear Liam - 2 years old

2018-05-08T23:17:00.002+02:00

Why does my 2-year old look like a teenager here?

Dear Liam

I can't believe you're two already! My beloved baby of the family!

My many apologies because Mummy's updates of you have been so sparse. BUT I continue to witness your milestones everyday and cherish every single moment watching you grow up.

You're my third boy. And believe it or not, we love you as if you're our only child! You got the sweetest and most gentle nature. Nothing seems to frazzle you. Ok, I take that back, you seem to have developed a hate relationship with the stroller and would scream, like really scream whenever I put you in there. But I somehow recall your brothers going through the same phase when they were 2 as well.

You understand almost everything we say! But you still don't talk much. Your main vocabulary is "Mama, Papa, Wow, hello, come, go". Your favourite form of communication is nodding your head whenever we talk to you.

You're very very meticulous! Really. You would always pack up your toys after using them. AND you would make sure your brothers do the same! Seriously baby, this totally takes the icing on the cake!!! What a blessing! My cleaning lady comes every Thursday and she tells me how much she loves you boys because you're all so well-mannered and the house looks soooo good for a family with 3 young kids! This makes Mummy so proud and feel so blessed!

You love doing puzzles! You're able to do the alphabet puzzles even upside-down. Like how is that possible? You would look at the letters and decide which hole to put them in! It's not a random thing, but you would realise that "A" and "V" have similar shapes and might interchange their positions.

Mummy plans on toilet-training you once the weather turns warmer. But guess what. I'm already feeling nostalgic that I won't see your cute little butt in your diapers that wobbles when you run around. And don't even get me started on the time when you outgrow all your onesies. I think babies in onesies are the cutest thing ever! There's simply something about seeing all that baby thighs and legs exposed, while you're only wearing your onesie.

You're still a very good sleeper and continue to sleep on the go. We went to the zoo today and when Mummy strapped you in your carseat, she said, "Ok, you got to go nap in the car ok?" You nodded and shortly after the car exited the garage, you were asleep!!! I'm amazed and envious of your ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat!

You have the least routine compared to your 2 brothers at your age. That's very much because you simply have to tag along for school runs and pick-ups and the activities of your brothers.

Your brothers absolutely adore you and allow you to get away with almost everything. Gabriel and you do get into more squabbles than with Samuel because you somehow seem to enjoy irritating your second brother more.

Many times Mummy observes you in your own little world playing with your toys being so lost in your own imagination. And it feels like such a glimpse of heaven. Perfect contentment and enjoyment with no need to complain or feel disgruntled. I wish time would stand still baby. I know that one day you're going to marry a little lady and Mummy wouldn't be most the important woman in your life. And suddenly I begin to understand why mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws are not usually best friends *evil cackle*.

Like your brothers, you absolutely love pressing the buttons in lifts and would have a mini-meltdown if any of your brothers accidentally did your "job". Your brothers would generally allow you to press all the buttons because they realise that it means the world to you.

It's not easy being the youngest in the family and seeing your brothers do all the things you can't do yet. When your brothers ran up the stairs today instead of taking the lift, you looked at them longingly and it broke Mummy's heart to see the sadness in your eyes and the downward frown of your mouth as your lips quivered on the verge of crying.

Your sadness was lifted by the scream of your second brother who in his bid to outdo his older brother, fell on his thigh and was inconsolable. You see baby, there is a time and season for everything. Don't compare yourself to other people especially not to your brothers. You're a unique and special individual made in God's image and He made only ONE you in the whole wide world!!!!

You love kicking balls!! We have this ball at home and you have taken a liking for kicking the ball around the house! You even tried the table soccer thing with Sam and were so earnest to score some goals! I'm thinking of signing you up for football when you're old enough!

Acts of service seem to be your love language. You enjoy throwing away your diapers and even passing me a towel after my shower. I love how you have such a practical primary love language!

We signed you up for preschool come Fall and I'm already feeling sad that we won't be doing leisurely 1-on-1 breakfasts together anymore but I'm looking forward to you and Gabriel sharing one more year of kindergarten together before Gabe moves on to primary school.

Don't grow up too fast little one!!! We are enjoying your childhood too much to want you to gain too much independence! You love clasping your tiny fingers together to pray and we do love how you enjoy Bible time. We pray that you will have a living and breathing relationship with our creator who made you and who gave His son to die for you!

Love
Mummy & Daddy

My family of 4 guys + me!

Your DIY chocolate cake with strawberries!

The toddler corner where its impossible to get a decent photo!

How my child's "near-death" experience changed Good Friday for me

2018-04-02T00:23:00.000+02:00

(Warning: Long post ahead)
We are finally out of the woods since the kids fell sick recently. Sam & Gabe caught the most nasty virus that caused both of them to have 40 degree fevers and chills! Our house was like a dead town for those 7 days! The boys would wake up, eat a little bit for breakfast and crash again on the sofas. I kid you not. They slept as much as newborns!

Despite our best efforts to protect the littlest one, poor Liam still caught the virus. I would consider myself a somewhat seasoned Mom in having to deal with sick kids. But nothing could prepare me for what we experienced.

We brought the kids to the paediatrician and as expected, the doc said its a "virus" and we just have to let it ride its course. In Germany, only temperatures above 39 degrees celsius is considered a fever and doctors recommend giving paracetamol only when there is a fever.

The anxious Mom in me didn't like the "relaxed" approach at first, but after 12 years in Germany, I've come to appreciate that a fever is a body's natural response to fighting infections. And we should give the body time to fight the infection and not resort to fever-suppressing drugs as if the fever were the enemy. It's not!

That said, we don't want our children to boil through the night, so we do check their temperatures regularly and give them fever medicine when we feel that we'd rather they be comfortable. It's a matter of weighing out our options.

That night it happened, I remember feeling Liam's forehead when he was sleeping and he felt fine. Just a bit warm but not too hot.

While ironing some clothes, I suddenly heard the weirdest sound! It sounded like someone was trying to cry but the cry was muffled. I wasn't alarmed but thought I should check on the baby, thinking that maybe he just couldn't get comfortable.

Honestly, its impossible to recap this experience without feeling all teary. I saw my kiddo lying in bed with his eyes wide open but not responding. His body was stiff and I couldn't even tell if he was breathing or not!

I quickly grabbed him and tried to shake him to "wake him up". But it was to no avail. This was when I screamed at the husband to get out of bed. Poor hub, who was also sick, took the baby and tried to "resuscitate" him. He actually said, "Oh, Liam's fine!"

But I looked at Liam and he still looked as lifeless as when I handed him over to Stephan. My thoughts went from "OMG, do I still remember how to do CPR?? Is there a doctor in our block? Is this the last time I'll see my baby alive?" What on earth am I supposed to do??!"

I told my husband, "NO, Liam's not fine. He's still cramping up!"

So we did the next thing we thought to do. We brought Liam to the bathroom and tried to splash water on his face. We realised that his teeth were tightly clenched so Stephan tried to put his finger between his teeth to wrench it open.

I don't really know what happened, but suddenly Liam woke up. I was sooo relieved! But my thoughts wandered to, "Did he experience brain damage? Was he even breathing all this time?" We tried to keep him awake, cos he was sooo drained and sleepy!"

We rang our immediate neighbours' doorbell to ask them to babysit our 2 older kids while both of us rushed to the A&E of the nearest children's hospital. It was almost 11pm when we left.

You know, I may complain about things about Germany but I will never ever complain about the healthcare industry here. There was NO queue at all. We registered and were the next in line to see a doctor.

The doctor gave Liam a thorough examination. Here's what we learnt:-

1. Fever cramps are not as dangerous as it looks. 6% of children get it and they usually get it when at least one parent has a genetic disposition to it.

2. Cramps usually last for about 2-3 minutes. If they last any longer, one should bring a child to the hospital.

3. NEVER ever pry the mouth open. One could end up breaking off a tooth and the baby might swallow the broken tooth which would cause it to be wayyy more dangerous than leaving the mouth closed

4. It's hard to prevent a fever cramp because its not dependent on how high the body temperature is but how quickly the body temperature changed.

We were given the option to let Liam be hospitalised or bring him home to recuperate. We opted for the latter since we felt relieved enough by what the doctor said and she also gave us her approval to bring him home.

We are sooo thankful for God's protection! We even messaged our prayer warrior friends to pray for Liam when we brought him to the hospital. It was so traumatising. We even second-guessed our parenting decisions, thinking that maybe we didn't give him enough fever meds.

This is such a potent reminder that everyday is a GIFT! It's not a given that we will see our kids grow old, have kids of their own and lead an adult life. I'm reminded of the fragility of life and how not to take any day for granted.

In the monotony of being a stay-home Mom, I sometimes wish that I have more adult interaction or just people who check in on me to find out how I am. But in this day and age when everybody is busy, it's hard! And I'm reminded that I just need to TALK TO GOD! I need to hear His voice and allow HIM to be my constant companion throughout the day. I can only parent from the fullness of LOVE that God pours into my heart.

I must say that when the kids were so sick, I felt so empty! So zapped of any strength and positive energy to encourage my kids. One day, I just took out my guitar and started playing worship songs. My kids had no energy to sing or jump around, but just listened to the music that reminded us that the Holy Spirit is here and He's as close to us as our very breath. Some days, the only prayer I could muster was "Jesus, please help me. Help my kids to recover".

And somedays, I literally had to pray a warfare-type of prayer that the virus can no longer continue! Each kid had at least 2-3 temperature dips when we thought the worst is over, only to have them have a worse version of the fever and vomitting the next day!

Of course Liam's episode with the febrile seizure was the worst. I remember thinking that I'm not ready to say goodbye to any of my children. That's when I had an epiphany.

You know, I grew up hearing about the Good Friday message. Jesus dying on the cross is not new news for me. Listening to Bible stories was part of my childhood as much as learning ABCs was part of my school life.

But now that I'm a Mom, I'm struck by the immense love of God! God loves ME & You so much, He sent His ONLY son to die on the cross for our sins. For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Is this the biggest love on earth?

Yes, I believe it is. I'm a Mom. And I would NEVER ever want my children to suffer. I would rather suffer myself than to see them suffer. God sent Jesus as a blameless sacrifice for MY sins and He (God) had to watch His son (Jesus) suffer in agony for hours while He was tortured and life slowly ebbed away from Him. And this was God's choice!! And Jesus' choice too. This fact still dumbfounds me. I don't think I'll ever be able to send Samuel or Gabriel or Liam to suffer and die for someone else. And that someone else may never even acknowledge the death of my child on his / her behalf. Get what I mean?

I'm so humbled.

God gives me hope.

That when this life is done on earth, life STARTS in eternity.

With no suffering & pain & illness & heartbreak.

That death does not separate me from me and my loved ones

I will see my Mom again.

My kids will see me again

And I actually get to see this Jesus whom I've read about and experienced in bits and pieces IN REAL LIFE!!!!

And can you imagine, seeing GOD???? Seeing the one who made you and me, and the universe??? And being able to see God without dying? Cos I receive a new body and a new spirit and because I'm adopted into the family of God because I receive Jesus as my personal Saviour?

I'm going to see Abraham, David, all the beautiful women of the Bible and all the spiritual giants I've read about in the Bible.

God is REAL y'all! We are made for eternity! Life does not make sense if death is the end of life as we know it. Our life on earth is to prepare us for life in heaven.

I'll leave you with this video and song that I've been meditating on.

Maiden Skiing trip as a family of five!

2018-01-26T01:34:00.000+01:00

We went skiing over New Year's Eve!!! It was a spontaneous decision because our guests have not gone skiing before and Jen asked if I was keen to go!

To be honest, we have never gone skiing with the kids before. It's probably because I can't ski very well and its well.... very expensive! But somehow, this time, I felt sooo keen to try it out! Like how cool would it be to go on a skiing vacation with your best friend and her husband right? And we would be celebrating New Year's Eve on vacation!

We had barely 2 weeks from the time we decided to go skiing to the time we actually went skiing! I had exactly one night to figure something out! Even though 99% of hotels were already fully booked-out for New Year's eve, we managed to find a 4-star hotel that was in Allgäu, had breakfast and dinner included in its price and was only a 2-hour drive from our place!

We had no skiwear for the kids, so we embarked on our next treasure hunt! Do you know how complicated and expensive skiwear can be?! That's when my friend, Fara mentioned Decalthon! This is like Ikea for sportswear and equipment!!! I can't believe that I've been living in Germany for 12 years and I've never been to Decalthon! She also very kindly lent us soo much skiwear!!! So thankful!

The kids LOOOOVED to ski!!! They went skiing for 5 days! The weather unfortunately got really crappy the last 2 days. It was stormy and we were all completely drenched right up to our ski gloves! The kids were such champs though! They never once complained about the sport nor the weather. They just embraced skiing with all the unpredictable elements of Mother Nature. Sam managed to make his way down a blue slope! Gabriel is not that advanced yet, but he got the hang of skiing down a baby slope.

It was sooo amazing for me to rediscover skiing again! The last time I went skiing was possibly 7 years ago, just before I got pregnant with Sam! Skiing has also taken on a whole new dimension because when you see your own kids on skis and see how quickly they master this skill, you feel sooo proud! And they look sooo cute!

I learnt how to ski when I was 25. Skiing is not a forgiving sport to pick up in your adulthood. I guess it depends on your threshold of fear. I'm pretty fearless when it comes to falling down, but I certainly don't have the same fearlessness of a 4 or 6-year old! Kids don't have fear! While adults are scared about falling down, kids only care about speed! I sooo wish I learnt how to ski when I was a kid! That's why I'm soo thankful that we are able to provide our children with this opportunity!

After a 7 year hiatus, my maiden ski down the slope was MAD. I was alone. I was rusty. And the snow was sooo icy!!! That was the worst! I could barely maneuver my turns and I was sooo scared being up there all by myself. (I've never gone skiing alone before. Rem. the last time I went skiing, we had no kids yet!) I took one full hour to get down! I fell down once or twice and had such a hard time getting back on my skis. When I reached the valley, I went straight to buy a bottle of water and that was it! Fear had dried up all my saliva! I was mad at listening to the hub who kept telling me, "You can do it! You already paid 40€ for the ski pass, so go straight up the slope!"

I spent the afternoon practising on my own at one of the lower slopes. It was SO. much better. I signed myself up for a ski course to refresh my skiing skills. It was the BEST decision ever!! I regained my confidence and I learnt the basics of parallel turning. I'm still not great at parallel skiing yet, but I know that once I get there, I'll be soo much better going down steep slopes!

Truth be done, we had to go down a red slope once. It wasn't intentional but they had somehow labelled a slope "blue" when it was anything BUT blue! So I had no other option but to attempt a red slope! It was so very windy and the snow was sooo deep! I kid you not when I tell you that I fell FIVE times! I spent SOO much time trying to get back on my skis! When I fell the 5th time, I refused to listen to all manner of reason from the hub. I took out both my skis, held my sticks and seriously slid down the slope on my BUTT!

It was seriously the most embarrassing and fun thing ever! Only the hub and I were on that slope. When we arrived at the bottom, I looked at the slope and saw Stephan's carefully carved skiing tracks and this person's (aka. Me) vertical butt print down the slope!!! My phone batt died on me, if not I would most certainly have snapped a shot of that!

And suddenly it dawned on me that it was all about FEAR! I had NO problems sliding down the slope on my butt! BUT I was sooo scared to ski down the same slope! The exact same slope! That somehow looked so much more menacing when I was on my skis! The Germans have a word "Kopfkino". It literally means "the cinema that plays in your head".

My ski instructor told our group that when our Kopfkino is playing the wrong film, we're not going to overcome our fear. So we need to program our mind to play the right film! I felt this was such a profound learning experience for me. Not just for skiing but for every aspect of my life!

Skiing is an expensive sport. And the reason why we decided to indulge this year and not for the past 7 years is because we are finally double-income again thanks to my job with ItWorks!!! We now have the breathing capacity to go for "luxurious" stuff and not have to worry about using our credit cards. How cool is that?! I get to supplement my family's income with my SAHM's social media income! Love living in the generation of social media!!!! #powertothestayhomeMom

Skiing photos overload ahead!!! You've been warned!

Absolutely love this photo!!!Look at Liam's disgruntled face!

Cannot tahan!

My 2 munchkins! They look soooo alike here!

All ready to conquer the mountain!

Just before their first ski course!

Kids settled, its the adults turn to have fun! Our first time skiing together after 7 years!

That was before I fell -cum-rolled down a red slope! Looong story!

LOOOVE this girl!

Look at how ecstatic I was?

The kids are taken care over lunch too!

My little monkey Gabriel

He seriously CRASHED in the ski hut straight after skiing!!

Joining another ski school! It was AWESOME!

We absolutely loved our family room! The kids had a separate room with bunk beds, we had our master bedroom and there was an adjoining living room. Liam slept in his cot next to our bed.

The food was really exquisite and everything was cooked to perfection. We had exotic food like rabbit meat over the special public holidays. The staff was very attentive and made every bit of our mealtime as close to a date night as possible! It was like a sit-down candlelight dinner - Ah-hem, with kids of course.

We had a hearty breakfast, usually skipped lunch or had a light lunch followed by an AMAZING dinner

German bread is fantastic! But is it just me, or does that bread (in the foreground) look a bit like boobs??! LOL.

Breakfast!

Cheese platter!

Hotel we stayed at: VERY highly-recommended for family with kids!
https://www.allgaeustern.de/en/hotel-allgaeu-bavaria/

Where we did our ski-course: VERY recommended! Competent ski instructors and they have the biggest skiing area for beginners
http://www.neue-skischule-oberstdorf.de/

http://www.alpin-skischule-oberstdorf.de/: Was great too! But I think I will register the kids in the other ski school the next time.

Turning 35 & Christmas in Strasbourg

2018-01-10T20:56:00.000+01:00

Happy New Year 2018!! It's the start of a year and I intend to start of this year by reviving my blog again!

We just came back from our skiing vacation with our friends from Singapore! Jen & I go a long way back! We've known each other since our Junior College days (18 years old!). She and her hubby are based in Scotland now while he pursues his Master's degree.

I think the Singaporeans outnumbered the Germans for once!

At the Stuttgart Christmas market

Pulled pork burger with melted cheese & jalapenos + chilli cheese fries!

Celebrating my 35th birthday in Strasbourg, France

Our December went past in a whirlwind. The hub had a crazy 4 weeks of work when everybody wanted something from him. I've officially entered my mid-30s! We celebrated my 35th birthday in Strasbourg with our lovely neighbours!! It was meant to be a party of 10 but everybody cancelled on me (due to illness), such that only our neighbours could come!

We really spent the day just eating and shopping!! What else right? We found a gem of Japanese restaurant that was rated as the top Japanese restaurant in Strasbourg. It certainly didn't disappoint! There's no sushi there though, just cooked Japanese food. So that was something that I didn't realise! It was an authentic Japanese chef so everything was cooked to perfection!

http://restaurant-matsumotoya.com/ It's a small restaurant, so do make a reservation in advance!

At the Strasbourg Christmas market

Karaage (Fried chicken) and that's Japanese balls!!! Oh SOO good!

The best Pork / Chicken Katsu with rice!!!

I went for the Ebi (prawn) don! TOO good!

Doriyaki and Matcha green tea ice-cream

We were at Matsumotoya for 2 hours before walking around town! Yours truly spent 2 hours at Naf Naf! They were having a sale!! Oh gosh. Naf Naf is bad for my wallet! I got myself 3 tops at 40% off though, so I did feel quite a sense of accomplishment! LOL.

Dinner was at a French seafood restaurant! http://www.brasserie-flo.com/

I spent hours online searching for the ideal restaurant for a party of 10! I know that not everybody would like seafood, so I wanted a good-rated restaurant that offered seafood and regular dishes too. But atlast, it was just 4 of us! So it turned out really cosy too!

At Brasserie Flo

Scallop risotto!!! This was the reason why I chose this restaurant!

What was this called again?

I had such a wonderful birthday present from my neighbours!!! They offered to babysit ALL 3 kids while the hub and I get to go on a date night!!! I mean, seriously. Their present was awesome!!! I never thought that couples without kids would do that for us! It helps too that their apartment is just opposite to ours I guess!!! lol.

Christmas at home

Gabriel had a tummy bug over Christmas. We went for a Christmas circus and left him & the baby at the grandparents. On our way home, he puked ALL over his carseat! Merlion-style! With our 2 guests in the car!!! *facepalm* We told our friends that this was the first time we had a child puke in our car in our 6 years of parenthood. We had to wind down the window for fear that the rancid smell might cause more nausea in the car!

We have the best friends ever! They helped SOOo much in the clearing up of the puke! I mean, only true-blue friends do that! I felt so bad that they had to witness this (gross) side of parenthood with us, but also so fortunate that we had 4 extra hands to make light work.

I insisted that ALL of us drank our Greens (from my company ItWorks) because I really didn't want anybody else to fall sick! It worked sooo well, I must say! Only Gabriel was sick, while Liam had a bit of a rumbly tummy. Everybody else was spared from the dreaded stomach flu!

Since Gabe and my mom-in-law were sick, we decided to have a quiet affair for Christmas. We went to church (without Gabriel) and had steamboat!! This was also a change of tradition because we usually have Raclette for Christmas eve. I must say that it was the best decision ever! Everybody's tummies were happy because of that!

First it was steamboat for Christmas eve

Then Swiss Raclette with scallops, smoked salmon, pork slices and prawns!!

We had a whale of a time!

Can't believe how big our boys are getting! *sob*

It was such a relaxing time because our friends helped a lot with the cleaning-up! Hmmm, Jen is a very clean person so she even offered to mop our floors!!! Hahah. HY helped a lot with the dishes. They were both so efficient that after we put the 3 kids to bed, we would come out to a clean kitchen and dishes that were cleared into the dishwasher! *dream*

We ended our 2017 by going skiing!!! But I think I will blog about that another day!!! Can I just say that even though our December was busy, it was such a fulfilling time!!! SO thankful for friendships that last the test of time! The older you get, the more you realise that deep friendships are hard to come by! I'm so thankful for my barnabas friend and more so for the fact that they went through thick and thin with us and our 3 kids over Christmas!!!

So.... Do the It Works! Bodywrap really work??

2017-12-06T23:52:00.002+01:00

After being in my job at ItWorks for almost a year, I've decided to share my personal testimony on my Bodywraps!! The only reason why I haven't written this is because I've been too embarrassed to share photos of my belly!!! Gosh. Yeah. That's the truth bomb!

As much as I'm a bare-my-heart-out on my blog person, I ain't a show pony! Put it this way. I think I wouldn't mind being a show pony IF I had the asset for it, but I don't! What I have is a post-partum body that has carried 3 babies to full-term in 6 years! I'm proud of this belly that God has given me, but I'd rather hide it!

I'm doing this post because I know there's so much skepticism going around about weightloss / body contouring products. I know, because I was a skeptic too! I read up soo many reviews of the ItWorks wraps. My skepticism stemmed from the fact that I knew that every person has a different biological make-up. What worked for one may not work for another. Even doctors cannot guarantee that a certain drug definitely works in a particular illness. You just need to try it out right??

I was doubtful cos I knew my body. I knew how stretched my belly was. How many stretch marks I had. How ~~weak~~ non-existent my belly muscles were. How stubborn my fats can be! It took me years to buy my first bikini!!! Can you imagine how self-conscious I was to wear my bikini after I gave birth??

What are these Bodywraps?

A Botanically-infused cloth with a patented formula of herbs and natural ingredients to help firm, tone and contour any part of your body from the chin down.

What they are NOT?

They are NOT for weight loss. Some people do lose weight while using the wraps but the wraps are predominantly to tighten loose skin.
Not water loss. You should drink a lot of water while wrapping!

First Wrap

I had a warm shower with a soap-free cleanser to exfoliate my skin and open the pores. Took a before photo, put the wrap on my belly for 45 minutes and enjoyed the cool tangy sensation. It smells quite good! Reminded me of being at a spa! I could just put the wrap on, put the green fab wrap to secure it and continue my daily activity! Oh and VERY important, I drank a lot of water while wrapping.

Results after my first wrap. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being wow and 1 being bleah, I was at a 2. My belly looked almost the same as before and I was not convinced at all.

Second Wrap

I wrapped again 3 days later. I must have fallen asleep with my wrap on because I remember feeling quite sticky when I woke up. I looked at my myself in the mirror and thought, "Oh, it looks better!!" But the skeptic in me still thought, "Oh well, most bellies look flatter in the morning anyway!" I was at a 4.

72 hours after the 2nd wrap

72 days after my second wrap (the wraps continue to work for up till 72 hours), I actually thought I bloated! Somehow my belly looked bigger? I was so shocked. I starting googling and realised that it might be due to a lack of water. When you detox and don't drink enough, your body might bloat while the toxins are stirred up. I knew I had to increase my water intake.

Third Wrap

I wrapped around 45 minutes and drank a lot of water. Over the next two days, I made a conscious effort to really increase my water intake. I always carry a 1.5-liter bottle of water with me and I told myself to finish at least 2 bottles everyday (3 litres of water in total).

This time I was beginning to see more obvious difference. Somehow my belly didn't seem to hang that much anymore. My skin felt more taut and I noticed an improvement in my stretch marks as well. I was probably at a 6.

By this time, I was still feeling not so convinced by the wrap. I talked to my upline (my team leader) and I was complaining about how I felt the wraps were not really working well for me. My results so far were nothing compared to those before-and-after photos I've been seeing of my teammates and those on Pinterest.

My leader calmed me down and said I shouldn't strike out the wraps before I used my 4th wrap. 4 wraps are 1 treatment. And some people need more than 1 treatment to see results. And like any treatment, the more treatments you do the better!

Fourth Wrap

24 hours after the 4th wrap

72 hours after the 4th wrap

I used the 4th wrap as per usual. Not sure what to expect. The thing that struck me most was when I finally put the final photo (after 4 wraps) next to my first before photo.

It's like a tummy lift without the surgery!!

I was sooo astonished!!! Seriously guys. If I didn't take a series of 20+ photos over the course of 2 weeks, I would NEVER have believed the change in my skin! It was such a transformation! And the craziest part is that in my case, the 3rd and 4th wraps made the biggest difference! It was as if my body needed time to get used to the wraps before allowing the ingredients to work its magic!

I was so thankful that I used up the 4th wrap! I have since gone on to use my 2nd pack of wraps and continued to notice such an improvement in my skin texture and stretch marks!

I truly believe every woman is beautiful in every size and shape. Inner beauty comes from within (Proverbs 31). No body shaming here! But I'm also sooo happy that a company like ItWorks has invented something called the "Bodywraps" to help women (and men) regain their figures! It definitely helps women to regain their confidence about their bodies especially after going through childbirth! And it doesn't cost an arm and leg either!

My official results!!! I lost visible inches!!!

I still have to use a belt with my jeans these days!

Where can I buy these Bodywraps?

You can buy them directly from me!!! From my website, healthywithpris.itworks.com These products get shipped directly to your door and you will have a secure account where you can pick and choose what you'd like to try out!!! I'll even give you my 40% distributor discount when you try them out as a loyal customer! I simply LOOVE my new tighter and more toned belly! This "bodywrap" is allowing Moms like myself supplement our incomes and stay home with our babies! And it's not just bodywraps that we do! We have a whole range of healthcare products like our Greens, 2-day herbal Cleanse and Protein shakes! The best way is if you contact me and I can best explain to you how this entire thing works!!!

Add me on Facebook, under "Priscilla Tews".

Or on Instagram under "prissteph"
Or drop me a comment directly on my blog!

Calista Luxury Resort, Belek Turkey

2017-09-19T00:35:00.001+02:00

It's been a week since we came back from our summer vacation.

Has it only been a week??! Oh boy! It feels longer!

Our holiday was FANTASTIC! We went to Calista Luxury Hotel in Belek, Turkey. Honestly, most people gave us the "Oh no! You're going to Turkey" worried look whenever we mentioned that we were going to Turkey. Most Germans frown upon Turkey these days due to the political situation there.

However, I must say that in Belek, it was perfectly normal! Everything was calm, no increased presence of police or whatever.

It was HEAVEN! I didn't have to cook nor clean AND I had the hubby around for one whole week! That to me, is holiday! We had a ratio of 2 adults to 3 children.

The second we stepped out of the airport and felt the warm breeze on our faces, I knew that we had picked the right place for our holiday! Our hotel happens to be the top hotel in Belek on TripAdvisor too!

Our daily schedule was -

- Wake up at 10.30am. Go for breakfast.

- Go back to hotel room. Change to swimwear

- Hang out at the hotel pool / beach for the entire day

- Grab lunch at the beach restaurant

- Go back to hotel. Bathe. Have dinner.

- Hang out at beach pier for cocktails / catch some evening entertainment

- Crash around midnight.

Our 16 month old napped either in the stroller or on the sofa next to the pool. He was so easygoing. It helped that he was so knackered from swimming too. I believe that I'm also more experienced as a Mom now. Back when we had only one kid, we would be so worried about how to allow baby to nap when we just want to be outdoors.

Now with 3 kids, things have gotten easier with naps somehow. Samuel doesn't nap anymore. Gabriel napped on some days and Liam still naps everyday anywhere.

I'm so thankful that my 2 older boys can swim now. It made our holiday so much easier! They spent days just sliding down the water slides into a 1.4-metre deep pool. Usually we would have to be at the bottom to catch them. But this time, they could simply swim to the side on their own and climb up the stairs to the slides again!

The first few times I was watching Gabriel like a hawk. But after a couple of attempts, he gained confidence and became much faster and stronger at swimming, so it became a breeze!!!

Funnily enough, people in Turkey thought that I was from Kazakhstan and started talking to me in Russian! It was quite amusing actually!

Service of the staff was fantastic! Most of them didn't speak much English but it was still quite easy to explain what I needed. It's seriously a top-notch hotel with very experienced service staff. Food was great too. I had barbecued fish and shrimps with salad every night. I was seriously underdressed for dinner because most of the Russian women massively dolled themselves up!

We celebrated Sam's 6th birthday over complimentary cake at sunset on the beach pier! It was such a simple affair. We were happy that we managed to lit the candle for a few seconds before the wind blew it away! Sam had a meaningful birthday celebration and he kept saying, "I'm 6 now right?"

There was kids' club all day for children aged 4 and above but our kids preferred to stay with us. The only day we sent them to the kids' club was when we decided to indulge in a Turkish Haman and massage at the beach! We checked TripAdvisor and went for a "Haman by the beach" which provided free transport to-and-fro the hotel, a Haman, foam scrub and bath and an hour-massage at only 49€! It was quite an experience!

Truth be told, the husband of a close friend of mine passed away recently. He was barely 50! I found out about the sad news when I was on holiday. It was so hard to process the news. On one hand, I had the luxury of having my hubby around us 24/7 for 7 days. And on the other, I knew that my friend just lost her partner of over 28 years.

I think somehow this terrible news made me realise what's important too. My husband and I didn't fight a single time during the 7 days. I really REALLY treasured every single day with my family. You never know how life can throw you a foul ball!

Increasingly I know in my heart that it's a prudent thing to have a home business! I would never compromise my life as a stay-home Mom to be there for my kids now but it's always good to have a rainy weather plan! I personally know 2 women whose husbands died suddenly and both of them are / were stay-home Moms. I know that God will provide no matter what, but I also know that God gives us opportunities! And what better time to build up a legacy for ourselves than NOW?

I'm so thankful for my work-at-home job which also helped to pay off 50% of our hotel stay! It was such a wonderful 5-star hotel that I'm so very sure we'll be back very soon!

Follow me on Instagram: prissteph or Facebook: Priscilla Tews for more regular updates! I promise to blog more often too!

One of 3 main pools in our hotel

Welcome to paradise!

Turkish delights

I could be at the beach all day!

Free COLD drinks!

An uncertain baby with sand and sea

Love my swimwear from Accessorize at 70% off!

See what I mean about warm temperatures?? Heaven!

Indoor pool next to the spa / haman

Slides galore! My boys went down all these slides!

Our happy boys at breakfast!

Sam turned 6 on holiday in Turkey!

Best sunsets ever!

Blurry pix but had to post this cos of my monkey baby

I love my family! Thank you Jesus!

Simultaneous napping!

Chilled-out baby! He laid down and spread the orange towel over himself!

Boys combined birthday party - 4 and 6 years old

2017-09-01T18:18:00.000+02:00

We had an epic birthday party!!!

I think the more kids you have, the better you get at organising kids' birthday parties! Gabe's birthday falls in early July, while Sam's is in early September. We will be gone on holiday during Sam's birthday so being the diplomatic person that I am, I decided to do a combined birthday party in August!

We booked a farm in the city for their birthday celebrations! It was the BEST decision either! We only had to pay 60€ to rent the entire premise and we had SO much space, it was heavenly! In total we had about 40 people including kids. But the place was huge! We never felt a space constraint. The weather was great too so the kids could run around outside!

This year, I decided to do the unthinkable. I actually told my guests NOT to buy any presents. I totally bucked the trend of children's birthday party = presents galore.

Honest to boot, our apartment is not huge. We have 3 kids and 3 bedrooms. Toys are matter. Matter is anything that has volume and takes up space. As much as I know how kids love to have new toys, the marginal utility of toys is very low!!! They would play with a new toy and be totally excited about it for a few days or weeks. Thereafter, I'm stuck with even more toys and no space to store them!

That's why we hardly buy any toys! I hardly had new toys growing up. But that's not the reason. I truly believe children should engage in imaginary play. Outdoor play. Make believe. They don't need more toys.

This is an issue close to my heart. I've been toying with this no-presents idea for the longest time. For the past 6 years, whenever we had a kid's birthday party, it was always such a headache telling others what to buy for the kids. Truth is, we always buy things that we need for our kids! We don't wait until their birthdays to get them something. And we have 3 boys! That means that they play with the same toys, wear similar clothes and I simply don't need anything for them.

What we need is, money. Money is liquid. We can save the money. Or use the money for sport courses, or Sam's private school come September, or go on day trips with the kids or holidays. All these are experiences that we would want to go for with the kids and it means so much more to us! I asked the kids if they would like to have toys, they said "yes!" And I asked, do you want to go for theme parks and go on rides, Sam said, "Yes!" So I asked if its ok that he doesn't get new toys but we go for more excursions instead and he agreed wholeheartedly!

It was such a BREATHER! We collected quite a fair bit of money for them and we're going to use it to get Sam a new bicycle / roller blades and put the money aside in a bank account! So so so thankful for my friends who understood and agreed!

Back to the party, I decided to outsource our birthday cake to a lovely lady! She did the entire Batman cake for just 70€! I marinated boneless chicken thighs in a satay marinade and it was sooo yummy! I asked some friends to do some side dishes of salad for the buffet table. We had an overdose of chicken satay steak and a bit too little sides, but it was perfectly fine!

All in all, I must say that I loved the idea of a combined birthday party. My goal for a party is not to get all the presents in the world but for the kids to have a lovely day with their friends and family. And that was certainly accomplished on this day!

I brought a ball but we didn't even need to do any kids' games. There was more than plenty of things for the kids to keep busy with!

I'm so blessed & thankful to be a Mom. Children are a blessing and GIFT from the Lord. That's my mantra especially on days when they don't stop bickering at each other. But mostly they are just wonderful playmates for each other and they do love each other a LOT. Sam slept on the bedroom floor today because he was in one of his "teenage" mood. When we went in a few minutes later, we found Gabriel lying on the floor next to Sam ON THE FLOOR! #heartmelt

I will not stop hugging, kissing and loving on my children everyday. I'll enjoy the pitter patter of Liam's little feet because one day I know he won't thud around so loudly anymore. I want to stop and notice the kids' expressions and study their behaviour, understand their emotions and thoughts and with God's help, help them to discover their God-given talents, passion and calling for their lives. But most importantly, I want to enjoy the moments of being a Mom. I've never regretted being a SAHM. Never have. Never will.

That said, I loooove having a home-based business with ItWorks now. I remember my days pre-ItWorks, my most interesting part of the day would be retail therapy. I'd spend hours reading Mummy blogs, searching online for kids fashion and finding out what's the coolest kids' birthday presents.

These days, I'm investing so much time in self-development. I've taught myself so much about photo editing using apps-- the birthday invitation was made by yours truly using an App! I'm learning so much about people, human nature and myself. Being a WAHM is an entirely new dimension that I'm exploring! And best of all, I'm earning an income again! To give you an idea, in all my 11 years as a blogger, I've never earned more than a 3-figure income in total. I've been at ItWorks for 7 months and I've earned a 4-figure income in total already! #truth

I'll write more about my new life now as a WAHM soon! Here's an explosion of photos of the birthday party! Enjoy!

It says, "Let us celebrate Samuel's & Gabriel's birthday together!"

Do I hear you say "WOW!??"

So beautiful, I didn't want to cut it! It's chocolate on the bottom and vanilla on top

Our Salad bar

Trampolin happiness!

Our ex-cell leaders who popped by the party!

Orry looking great with 2 girls!

Take home presents, chocolate and more sweets!

Our youngest guest of day! So glad you could come, M!

Where we got our birthday cake: Message the lady on her Facebook page at "Home Ties"

Where we had the birthday party: Etzel Farm

My Prince brought me out!

2017-08-18T00:15:00.002+02:00

My hubby and I went for a date night yesterday. It was so special, I wish I could have saved the whole experience in a virtual reality DVD and re-play it all day, everyday!

Why was it so good???

Because I had absolutely nothing to do with the planning of it! Hub actually planned the entire thing!

He arranged the babysitter. He decided on the day and time. He researched on venues of where to bring me annnd he kept me in surprise until the day itself!

I had NO idea where we were going! It felt like we were singletons exploring a brand-new city!

We went to a German restaurant that we've never been to. He researched on TripAdvisor and brought me to the #1 restaurant in Stuttgart!

I really enjoyed being the one who could sit back and not do anything and just be treated like a princess for an evening!

I have a confession. Since we got married 11.5 years ago, and more so since we started having kids 6 years ago, I'm the organiser. I decide when, where and what to do. As much as I like surprises, I'm too impatient not knowing what's going on. I like knowing what to expect and as a Mom, I don't like last-minute changes.

Yes, changes are to be expected - especially with kids. But that's also why I hate being unplanned. I know how unpredictable kids can be so as far as possible, I try to minimise last-min changes in my regular schedule.

That said, I also complain that the hub doesn't court me anymore. You know what I mean. Or that Stuttgart is BORING. (Sorry to you Germans reading my blog).

Coming from a city with 5 million people, I do like the hustle and bustle of a big city. I like exploring new eateries, going for new experiences and doing new stuff.

Our usual Sunday hangouts alternate between hmmm.... 5 restaurants? Many Germans that we know don't even eat out. We eat out on weekends and that's considered extravagant for many already. Call me spoilt, but I can't wrap my head around the idea of cooking every.single.freaking.day! Mummies need a break too, yo!

Plus, I don't like what the Germans call "Abendbrot" - evening bread, which means bread with cold cuts. Gosh. I can maybe have that once a week but don't expect me to eat it every dinner! Even my kids don't like Abendbrot all the time. If we've had Abendbrot one evening, they will be like "not again" if we have the next evening. That simply means that I have to cook for lunch and dinner.

Right, so let's go back to our Date Night! It was sooo lovely! We first went for dinner and thereafter went for a Skybar! Like wow!!!

Ok, let me put a disclaimer. Our sky bar is on the 10th floor in an old town. My camera battery died, if not I would have taken a photo of the skybar.

To be far, we don't have skyscrapers here. So the 10th floor here while every other building is a maximum of 3 floors means that we are still on the highest point in town. I had to poke fun that in Singapore, a skybar means 55 floors and in Schorndorf, a skybar is on the 10th floor.
(Mental reminder: Stop comparing Pris!)

Right, it was really lovely being right up there though. Neither of us had our phones working more. I ordered an Aperol Spritz while Stephan got himself a glass of white wine.

We sat next to each other and I enjoyed the feel of the hub's arms around my shoulders. That's really what I miss a lot! With 3 kids, we rarely have time to hold each other hands, let alone him putting his arm around my shoulder. You do need 2 hands to push a stroller and the 2 older monkeys still need some supervision.

It was such a wonderful evening. I think I told the hub a million times "I'm so happy you organised this."

I really truly appreciated that the hub took the initiative to organise something! I really loved the element of surprise he brought in with it. To be fair, he refused to tell me the agenda for the day because he was half scared that I would shoot down his idea.

It's such a learning experience for me though. I realised that I need to step back so the hub can take the lead in this relationship. At the risk of sounding corny, I do really miss being the Princess and being brought on a nice journey by my Prince.

I feel that one of the main dangers of being married for a while is that we go on autopilot. We each assume our roles and just sorta keep doing what we're doing. But I've missed the spark you know. Just the feeling / memory of our lives before we had kids. Us just enjoying our lives together. I don't want a marriage that is just an empty shell after the kids move out. We're far from where we want to be, but this date night was definitely a huge step in the right direction!

That's why I kept ~~nagging~~ telling the hub that I wanted him to organise ONE date night. Like just one. So that I feel like he's taking me out on a date and not that we're going out a date that I organised.

And I need to say this once.

YOU did GREAT darling!!! I'm so proud of you!

For you wives - Let your husbands take over some of the roles that you've assumed for a while. You never know! They might just surprise you with what they can do!

For you husbands - Bring your wives out! Surprise them! Pursue them even when you're married! Do something new with her! You know what they say, Happy Wife = Happy Life!

I went for a haircut and root colouring for my date night!

He dressed up for me too! With a suit!

I had a house cocktail speciality! It totally hit the right spot!

Spätzle (Swäbish egg noodles) with Beef Gulash (14€)

This was THE BOMB! Beef fillet with truffle noodles and sugar peas. Gosh, the smell!! (25€)

Chocolate soufflé with caramel vanilla ice-cream (7€)

Hub's cheese platter with the spiciest ginger sauce! (7€)

#1 Restaurant in Stuttgart!

http://www.derrotehirsch.de/

Der Rote Hirsch Marktstraße 46, Eingang Marktplatz

D-70372 Stuttgart

eMail: info@derrotehirsch.de

Tel: 0711 84969373

The day I went to the ER.... and it wasn't cos of the kids

2017-07-10T22:57:00.002+02:00

I went to the ER yesterday. And no it wasn't because of the kids. It was 100% cos of me.

You know how you look forward to your date night, cos it's been forever since you last had one-on-one time with your husband? And you decide to go the Hamburg Fishmarkt because you can actually go through the crowds easily without having to maneuver a stroller?

That was exactly what I thought. What a beautiful warm summer evening. Let's sit outdoors and just enjoy the warm breeze and have some fresh fish!!

I had an accident which involved me swallowing a fish bone when I was 12. And I tell ya, I never forgot that experience! That piercing pain when you swallow. The futile attempts to gulp water down to get that ~~damn~~ horrible fish bone through your throat but it refused to bulge.

I was at my school "graduate" camp for 12-year olds and I was so happy to be able to stay overnight somewhere else! I remember talking to a friend while eating my Nasi Lemak fish and the next thing I knew, something sharp and thin went through my throat and never got through.

I waited 24 hours before telling any teacher because I was scared of being scolded! When I finally did, my parents picked me up and brought me to the hospital. We waited for ages before I went for an X-ray only for the doctor to say that he couldn't see any fish bone and the bone had probably got down my throat but it was still sore.

Since then, I swore off Nasi Lemak fish and I've always been very vigilant whenever I ate fish.

All the time except yesterday!

I ate a piece of seemingly harmless salmon, which is usually boneless and somehow the EXACT.SAME.THING happened! And it happened so quickly! I felt the same disgusting piercing pain while swallowing. I tried to puke. I tried to drink. I tried to swallow small chunks of banana.

Literally everything. Hub told me to wait it out, cos most fish bones dislodges itself in hours. But I was in pain! I couldn't wait.

So we went straight to the hospital. Can I just say I'm so glad we did?

German medical care is SOOO efficient! This was a Sunday evening. There was no queue. The only waiting time we had was to wait for the doctor to come back from her break (maybe 20mins?)

There was no X-ray. The doc just wore something on her head with a lamp, peered into my throat and saw the bone. She sprayed something to numb my throat and went on to stick something inside my throat to remove the bone.

I remember being sooo scared that it would hurt. But while I was sitting there, I told myself, "Pris, you gave birth to 2 out of 3 children naturally, this is no big deal!!"

And before I knew it, the whole ordeal was over! I didn't feel anything! Like ZERO!

I saw the fish bone! That horrid thing!

I was so relieved that I gave the doctor a hug! I was so so so relieved! No more pain! No more stuck feeling. Like I felt sooo free!

And I was sooo thankful that I didn't have to pay anything for that! Just passed them my health insurance card and that was it!

Healthcare premiums may be expensive here, but nothing beats having the peace of mind knowing that you will always be given the healthcare you need.

All happy before the incident

It wasn't this fish

It was this smoked salmon!!

Dear Gabriel - 4 years old

2017-07-03T16:25:00.001+02:00

Dear Gabriel!

You, my sweet middle child, have turned the big 4! We decided to have a small celebration with family and Godparents because we're going to a have a proper huge children's party for you and your brother in August!

What can I say? Here are some firsts for your past year.

- You've completed one full year at kindergarten and you certainly look forward to going to school!

- You're so confident on your balancing bicycle these days and we think you will make the transition to the big boy's bike this summer!

- You've become more vocal and are able to express your emotions better compared to one year ago.

- You love being a big brother. On one hand, you can be so sweet to your little brother, Liam. On the other, you struggle with sharing your toys with him claiming that the toys only belong to you and Sam.

It's hard explaining to you that if Liam does not share toys with you, he won't have any toys to play with! But we're hoping that it's a question of time before you start to enjoy playing with Liam. Right now, you're going through the phase that you're so frustrated when Liam destroys your "stau" - German word for traffic jam. You still enjoy building traffic jams all over the house by lining up your toy cars really close together. You're so proud of your Staus and have proudly told Mummy, "Look Mummy! Look what I built for you!" "Oh yeah!!! I see you've build a huge, long traffic jam! Wow! How cool!"

You're very observant of your surroundings and you pay attention to how people feel. There's been a few times when we noticed that you would say, "Awww, is everything ok?" And you would put your protective arm around Liam. It's great seeing that older brother aspect of you developing.

One thing I realise you don't do anymore? - You don't crawl into my bed in the middle of the night anymore. I remember there was a time when we would complain everytime you did that, because it would mean that all of us would sleep badly (no space for all of us in one bed!) But now that you haven't done it in a long time, I suddenly feel a bit sad! Just a bit! Come over and join us in our bed every now and then ok? Lol.

We love you sweet one. We know that it's hard being the sandwiched kid. Neither the oldest, nor the youngest. Mummy was also a sandwiched kid. You'll be fine baby. You'll just have to figure out your role in the family. We believe with all our heart that God has placed you as a middle child for a reason and purpose. You'll develop skills and talents that you wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

We pray that you'll discover your own interests and be comfortable in your own skin, out of the shadow of your older brother. Sam will start school in Fall so you would have to go to kindergarten alone. That would be another transition for you. We know you'll feel sad about it, but we pray that it means that you would find friends of your own and build your own social circle outside that of your brother's.

We love you so much. We're sorry for the many times when we have fallen short. We pray that God will give us and you the grace as we continue on this parenting journey with you.

I need to say one more thing that happened today.

Mummy: Who destroyed my metal plate for steaming? .

You: Not me. I don't know

(Repeat conversation 1000 times. Same response)

Mummy: That's ok. Mummy forgives you. But God sees and Jesus sees. God knows who did it.

You: God cannot see. God doesn't have a phone! And he doesn't have a camera!

Mummy: (Does not know whether to laugh or continue with her stern face) Of course God knows. God is everywhere! He sees everything.

You: (thought for a while). Ok, I did a little bit. Sam did too.

That's how we communicate these days. You're really developing into a little teenager. It's so cute listening to you though!

All our love

Mummy & Daddy

Finally one photo where he's all by himself!

I love my family! Gabe requested for a strawberry cake!

He got some Lego and a water nerf gun!

Gabe's Godparents. He looks so proud to have his nerf gun!

A very manageable-size children party!

I made tomato bruschetta, fried Vietnamese nems and heated up some pizza bread