mousearoo's mumblings

See Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

2012-05-16T17:39:00.001-04:00

You are your own worst critic.

People are quick to tell you this when you make a self-deprecating comment, appear as though you are in need of a boost on a gloomy outlook day, to comfort you when it appears as though perhaps things aren’t going your way or your work wasn’t quite up to snuff.

I’m not disputing the fact that sometimes we need hear this in order to crawl out from under our dark clouds and see the good before progress can be made. Getting stuck in a negative mindset is way too easy, whether it’s about work, relationships, friendships, etc., as it’s easier to wallow in self-pity and sadness than work to make things better.

And my head has been firmly stuck in that cloud for awhile now. Although things in my life are going REALLY WELL (well, broken ass aside), I am becoming less and less comfortable in my own skin (thanks to the broken ass, new medications and the copious amounts of food I’m shovelling in my mouth). Sadly, I know this is all of my own doing and I can undo it as quickly as I want to, I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do it.

But I know I need to stop looking in the mirror and cutting myself down, and start looking at how other people see me.

My nieces provide me with the best reflections of my true self through their pictures.

They draw me neither too big or too small, and always smiling. Sometimes I have on pretty dresses and fancy shoes, other times I have on comfy pants and shirts and then there are accessories like my blackberry, a set of mouse ears and most of the time I have my tongue sticking out.

The way in which they interpret my appearance and character is remarkable and rarely changes as days, weeks and years go by. I could actually line up their pictures (as I’m a proud auntie who keeps as many as I can) and there will be little variation as time passes beyond their artistic abilities improving.

With their wide-eyed innocence, these little monkeys see the real me. The imperfections that I see staring back at me every day don’t translate into their drawings or even register on their radars. Sure, body parts are either exaggerated or downplayed, but it’s what is beneath my skin that really shines through. And THAT is what truly matters.

It’s my choice to change my outward appearance. This I’ve always known. But it’s also my choice in terms of the person I choose to be. I’m grateful that I am the person I am and it is an image burned into their little minds, transferred onto paper every time they draw a picture for me. They are my best and most honest critics.

Who is your best critic?
Who do you rely on for their best and most honest opinion?

Do Not Pass Go. Waste $200.

2012-03-29T12:00:00.000-04:00

So I’ve been running. Here. There. Everywhere.I even ran that half marathon that I said I’d never run again.

I ran even more during and after it as I may have told you that I’m planning on running another marathon this May. Crazy, I know. I also planned to run Around the Bay again, a race I actually grew to like despite detesting it the first time, much like the Chilly Half Marathon.

But my plans have come to a screeching halt.

You see, my bum appears to be broken.

Yes, I know I’m being overly dramatic, but that’s what it feels like. Some muscle in there is not happy with me trying to run said ass off, and now we are at a stand still.

That meant a DNS for Around the Bay. It means at least a month of being poked, prodded, massaged and whatever in an attempt to fix the problem. And that means no marathon in Ottawa.

Cue the tears.

I know this is a time where I have to follow my own advice. I need to see that I want to run forever and not just one race, but it’s also hard not to feel defeated and depressed over the whole thing. Plus, I got stuck with one bib I couldn’t sell and am afraid the same will happen with the marathon entry. Add that to the price of trying to nip this pain in the butt, well we’re just adding insult to injury.

So here’s hoping that I can run the Boston 5k and am back in shape to run the Pride Run in June (join or support team GO SKIRT!) and maybe the full at Maritime Race Weekend. But I’ll work on improving my thundersticks skills, just in case.

image source

“Marie, don’t you blog?”

2012-01-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

Cue my stunned face when asked that by a family member last weekend.

Right. I blog. That’s what this space is for.

*crickets*

So this is where bloggers apologize (why exactly, I’m not sure) for their absence, relay a list of excuses for not appearing in your feed reader for the last month and then regale you with adventures of their time away.

Yeah, you’re not going to find that here. I’m all about breaking the rules, as you know.

See, life has been odd the last month. Heck! It’s been odd for a lot longer than that! There’s been a lot of sadness, confusion and upheaval not necessarily for me, but the people around me. And being the weirdo I am, other people’s problems take up a big chunk of my brain and I become a bit withdrawn, spending a lot of time in my head trying to figure things out or just generally moping about.

Yes, I have become one with my couch and Netflix.

But with the bad comes the good. A lot great things have happened over the last little while to keep me occupied, had me travelling to visit people I care about and even put a smile on my face.

While I’m not necessarily bottling things up (as really I use this space for catharsis more than anything else), I’ll eventually start spewing out content again on a semi-regular basis. Just don’t look for me to have a content calendar chock full of posts to cram down your throat. When there are stories to tell, I’ll definitely share them with you.

Be certain that there will always be weight to lose, recipes to fail at and running adventures to be shared here as there are every year. But until then, I’m back to writing stories for a different audience at that place that pays my bills.

Besides, you never truly get rid of mice and they return when you least expect it.