Cabin Fever in Vermont

The Importance of a Teddy Bear

2012-02-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

Nothing can fully convey the importance of a Teddy Bear for a child. When I found out I was going to have a baby finding the perfect Teddy Bear was high up on my list of things I must do, right up there with picking a name and color for the nursery. As someone who still has her teddy bear from when she was a baby, which is now safely sitting on a shelf in my closet, I firmly believe that the right Teddy Bear can comfort one through anything. From stormy nights to sick days home from school, a teddy bear has a lot of important duties. So, for months I have been on the search for the perfect sidekick for my Emily.

You can't just search out and buy the perfect Teddy Bear. It has to find you, and when it does you have no doubts that its the perfect one. A love at first sight sort of thing. So, it didn't surprise me that when Emily was born I didn't have a Teddy Bear already picked out for her. I wasn't going to rush it. Then, just this past weekend, I found one.

Its cute and boy is it cuddly. Oh, and most importantly its machine washable. Emily and this new Teddy Bear became fast friends. She has squished and squeezed him since we gave him to her. I am not going to name this Teddy Bear, however. That honor will be saved for Emily when she is old enough, just like I did. The name I chose for mine was "Gray Teddy", since he is, you know, gray.

What do you want mom?! I am trying to bond with my new BFF!

Oh, just a photo-op? Sure thing!

It Is Here

2012-02-24T21:18:00.001-05:00

Winter.

It's finally arrived.

For the first time since before Thanksgiving we are under a winter storm warning and have the potential for a half a foot of snow. A half a foot of snow!

Okay... so that's no monstrosity of a storm, but if you are measuring in terms of this year's snowfall it's noteworthy. How sad is that? What a very un-Vermont-like winter this has been. My snowmobile is crying from abandonment.

So my camera battery is charging, our snowmobiles are registered and waiting, and there is white stuff freshly falling from the sky. Shawn and I are definitely going to take advantage of it. This entire weekend will be spent taking photos and snowmobiling, two things this season hasn't lent itself too.

It's finally winter. Heck yeah!

You're Going to Stay What You Are

2012-02-21T20:42:00.002-05:00

A week or so ago I wrote about work, which I don't often do because of what I do for work and professionalism and such. I wrote about how my job-title was in limbo, how a new Director of Nurses was arriving and the potential for significant changes existed. He wanted to pick his own management team and that may or may not include me. It was a nerve wracking feeling to say the least, especially since I knew so little about my new boss.

Changes are never easy and its not hard at all to get caught up in the anxiety something or someone new can provoke. As I sat in my office on the first morning of the new Director's arrival I tried to push the butterflies away. I stared at the picture of Emily pinned next to my desk I wondered if I would ever get to actually decorate my office with more pictures or if I'd be taking them down. When the new director did arrive I decided I would just work like I normally worked every single day and let him tell me his decision when he felt like it. If I had it in my mind to pester him about what his plans were for me there I'd simply bring it in at an inappropriate time and make myself bad. Sometimes silence is better than asking questions (such a hard lesson for me to learn).

As the day came to an end I hadn't heard anything related to the new Director's intentions with his management team. He hadn't given me any sort of hints, but I figured that it would take at least a couple of days or even weeks for him to size me up and decide if I was a good Assistant Director in his mind. Just as I was packing up my desk and getting ready to leave the new Director turned to me and said "You know you're going to stay what you are, right?"

"Oh?" Was my simple response, because I couldn't think of anything more intelligible to say. It caught me off guard, but a large smile soon crept across my face and my posture must have visibly improved, because he asked me if I felt better after hearing that. A huge weight was lifted. I could finally fully invest myself in my job and, almost more importantly, put up more pictures of Emily!

So, besides still adjusting to a five day a week job where the weekends seem too short and always too far away, work is great. There's no more confusion. I know exactly what my job is going to be and I am going to stay what I am.

Unsafe Ingenuity

2012-02-20T18:27:00.005-05:00

I always love it when people think outside of the box. Usually that's where you find the best solutions to the toughest problems. However, there are times when such ingenuity can backfire. Sometimes a fix creates more issues than it solves.

The ambulance is the perfect place to think outside the box (while being inside a big red/white box) and this is where my example of a solution to a problem, while good intentioned, wasn't the best idea.

Here is a backboard and the headrest for the backboard. It looks to be completely fine, nothing special to see, unless you look closely...

Yeah, that appears to be a coat hanger or piece of metal of some sorts. Its not how those headrests are suppose to be fastened. While its an ingenious fix and keeps a broken piece of equipment functioning it isn't acceptable to keep on the ambulance. I'm always impressed how most anything can be McGuyvered, but there is always a line when it comes to what's professional and acceptable. Of course, this isn't in service on the ambulance. Its just a great example of a "nice try" to fix something before the boss said "throw it out".

Five Thirty AM

2012-02-17T08:39:00.000-05:00

In the last few days I have actually realized that Emily isn't that bad of a sleeper at night at all, at least lately. She's been faithfully falling asleep at 7pm, waking near 1am, falling back asleep quickly, and then waking again at 5:30am. The problem is that I am not ready to be awake at 5:30am, but Emily is. I go to bed much later than her, sometimes as late as eleven in the evening, so I can have some of that precious "adult time" that is so rare now. So, when 5:30 in the morning rolls around I am one tired mama with only a few hours of sleep.

Before Emily arrived I was never a morning person to begin with. I've never functioned well before 7am and when I worked the night shift a while back as a Licensed Practical Nurse while in RN school I was a horrible mess. My body just hates mornings. Actually, a more accurate statement would be that my body hates a lack of sleep and that's what I've chronically been doing to it.

The last several mornings when Emily has been up and bouncy and awake at 5:30 in the morning either Shawn or I have fought with her to settle down and sleep another precious hour or two. It never worked and simply left all three of us extra cranky. And now I have come to learn one of the hardest lessons in parenting (so far, anyway).......

One must adjust to the baby's schedule. To hell with yours.

As much as I've tried every method, even crying it out (for over an hour of back and forth) she is bound and determined to be awake early in the morning. Wide awake. So, I have succumbed to her persistence. There is no point in fighting with what her body is naturally trying to do if its something we can adjust to. It looks like bed time will have to be much earlier for both Shawn and I. But, the good news is, that if we adjust our schedule then she will get up just once the entire night! That's a win in my book.

Who knows... maybe I can grow to like 5:30am? Although, I highly doubt we'll be on anything other than speaking terms.

The Gross Things that make a Baby Laugh

2012-02-15T10:36:00.000-05:00

The other day our lab started making a gagging sound, like he had something in his throat. Emily thought it was the funniest thing. In fact, its the most I've ever heard her giggle at one single thing. So, what does any prudent mother do with such a scene? Break out the camera and record it!

Adaptation and Change

2012-02-13T08:06:00.000-05:00

It is not the strongest of the species that survives,

nor the most intelligent that survives.

It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.

~ Charles Darwin

Today is going to be an interesting day at work, especially for one in my position, and that quote is quite suitable. There is going to be a new Director of Nurses that is starting his position today and since I am the Assistant Director of Nurses, meaning I work directly under this new person, I am greatly affected by this change. The new Director will be my direct boss, with new ideas, new plans, and new judgements of myself and the rest of the staff. Its hard to not be nervous since it is not yet clear whether or not I will stay the Assistant Director of Nurses. He would like to pick his own management team, which may or may not include me staying in my current position. While I love the new position I have held for the past few months, since it allows me to care for every patient at the facility, be involved in everyone's care, and challenge myself with nursing skills and interpersonal skills, I really hope that the new Director finds that I am a good choice to keep as his second in command. Experience is very much against me, since my tenure as a nurse isn't very long, but I try and make up for it in effort and eagerness.

Since I knew that we were going to get a new Director of Nurses and he wants to pick his own management team many many emotions flooded through me. Its hard to hear that the job you've been offered not long ago, poured a ton of effort into, and really enjoy, may not be the job you'll have in a few weeks. It has been hard not to be nervous, scared, and apprehensive, but that's where Charles Darwin's quote comes into play... I do not have to be the strongest (most experienced), I do not have to be the most intelligent, but I do have to be the most adaptable.

So, that's what I'll do. Come what may, I will adapt and everything will be okay. We'll see what position this new Director thinks I am suited for and maybe, just maybe, he will find me perfect in the position I already am in.

Breathing Room

2012-02-11T10:33:00.001-05:00

Every child does thing that makes a mom gasp in horror. The other day I went into Emily's room to wake her up in the morning and found her blanket laying across her face. I was horrified, but quickly realized she was just fine.

There's a baby under there!

Then I noticed that she was doing this every single time she slept. She wanted a blanket over her face. When she slept int he car seat she pulled a blanket over her face. Its developed into a habit so that she can't fall asleep soundly without a blanket over her head. At first the whole idea of my daughter covering her mouth and nose didn't sit well in the least, but once I realized she was fully capable of putting the blanket there, removing it, and wouldn't sleep well otherwise I reluctantly decided that it was okay. Apparently there are some preferences that children develop that worry parents, but are really just fine!

Almost a Baby, But Not Quite

2012-02-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

This is a story about a situation I experienced first hand a little while ago and it has just never settled well...

There is this girl and she is pregnant, quite a few weeks pregnant, to the point where she was happily announcing it to people. Everyone was excited for her. Her and her boyfriend were try to get pregnant and really wanted to start a family together. When she announced that she was expecting I hugged her and was beyond happy for her. While she isn't married and her relationship was fairly new, who am I to judge? They were happy and that was all that mattered.

Then a few weeks passed. The pregnancy continued to thrive and grow. She beamed with excitement, but that abruptly changed one day.

Suddenly, she pulled me aside with a very straight face saying that she had something important to tell me, because I was going to find out one way or another. With subdued emotions she told me that she was going to have an abortion in just a few days. She couldn't handle being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. Furthermore, her and her boyfriend were splitting up. He drank too much, apparently, and she didn't want to bring his child into the world if he couldn't put down the bottle.

I sympathetically listened to her and hugged her, but I couldn't properly digest what she was telling me. It just wasn't sitting right with me.

She was near the end of her first trimester, if not just barely in the second. I couldn't remember how far along she was exactly, but I knew it was quite a few weeks. One thing kept coming to mind when I thought of how far along she was... all I kept thinking of was my first ultrasound of Emily at 12 weeks.

I kept thinking of the little baby that I saw on the screen that moved, sucked its thumb, and had a perfectly formed little heart beating away. Then I thought of her baby that was just about the same age prenatally. She had a perfectly formed human being inside her with ten fingers, ten toes, and one little heart that she was going to terminate.

Now, I am one of the least judgmental people. I support a person's right to choose, but this situation struck a nerve. They were trying to conceive. They both wanted this pregnancy. Then, suddenly, things changed. She realized she didn't want to be with him or his bad habits, but only after they had created a baby together. For the life of me I can't comprehend why she realized all this after they purposefully became pregnant rather than before.

Excuse my opinions... but I guess its because I'm a mom and because I have seen a 12 week old baby flitting around on the ultrasound screen. Or maybe its because I've held 14 week old twin babies that were born prematurely. This just resonates badly with me. I feel for this girl, but I feel even more for the baby who was, but never will be.

Little e Drawings

2012-02-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

While Emily was sitting in my lap one day I noticed she had quite the fascination with my phone. She constantly would reach out and try to grab and play with it. After a futile search for an app for infants (think like bright colors and shapes that make noise and such when the baby interacts with it) I decided to buy a free app that resembles the good 'ol MS Paint program. Emily loves it.

Seeing her produce little scribbles got me thinking... its cool to think that my baby drew something to begin with and won't it be even cooler to see her scribbles morph into real drawings? I thought so... so, I started a blog just for her drawings!

Okay, some of you may think I am nuts, shake your head, and go surf a different corner of the web, but if you haven't left or have the faintest interest you can check out her drawings as she creates them over at her blog "Little e Drawings".

Since she's just started there isn't much to share, but don't you worry. Emily enjoys drawing too much not to create more soon!

Five Months In

2012-02-05T10:16:00.002-05:00

So today marks exactly five months since Little Miss Emily arrived. At this moment she is sitting in my lap bouncing back and forth. Lately its her favorite place to be as she tries to touch the keys and makes squeaky noises.

She's quite the talker now with lots of babbling, sighs, and noises. You'll quickly know if she is content or not, because she won't hesitate to tell you. If she's supported or positioned just right she can sit up fairly well for a minute or two. Tummy time is more fun now that she can lift her head up high and roll around. She's growing like a weed and just this past week she's started wearing some size six months clothes! Gosh, I hate packing up her tiny clothes that she doesn't fit into anymore.

I can only image how Emily will keep growing, what her personality will become, and if her red hair will turn curly like her mother's and father's. One thing is for sure, I can't believe that five months have passed already. While I love to look ahead and wish for the next milestone its hard to look back and realize how much she's grown already! Boy, its going so fast. Six months will be here before I know it I'm sure.

The Winter that Isn't

2012-02-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

Its almost groundhog day. As a former meteorology major and all around skeptic I really don't take stock in this nonexistent holiday other than the fact that there is a pretty humorous movie with its namesake. But, in all seriousness, the weather and whether or not we will ever get a winter this year.

The sidewalks are bare. Grass is peeking through the skimpy snow cover that is quickly melting into the ever expanding puddles in the roadway. The temperatures are cresting near fifty degrees. It is just barely February right? I even got to spend this gorgeous afternoon after work going for a walk outdoors with Emily.

Part of me is quite sad. My snowmobile has sat this entire season. Its disuse makes me question the investment we make in that expensive hobby annually. I also have yet to be able to sit at home and enjoy a good, quiet snowfall. The other part of me is happy that spring may come quick. Greens may grow sooner than expected. Perhaps mud season won't linger like last year after an excessive season of snow.

So far, this season is the winter that never was, or just plain isn't. There's been some ice and a tiny bit of snow, but anytime I can wear short sleeves in Vermont on the first of February indicates a winter fail. However, I know I need to not discount the next six weeks of weather. A nor'easter could barrel across New England next week and then I'll probably be complaining about shoveling the driveway. There's still plenty of time for winter to decide that it is.

What I do When my Husband Works the Night Shift

2012-01-30T14:00:00.000-05:00

While having nights alone isn't always fun I also look at them as a distinct advantage in inserting randomness into my life. As I find myself sitting up near midnight listening to dubstep whilst the movie Titanic is playing on my television I had to run down the bizarre list that made up my evening and brought me to the chaotic noise that is filtering through my living room. Then I realized that nights like these are pretty typical once Emily falls asleep and I am left up to my own devices.

So here is a perfect example of how bizarre my evenings without Shawn can be, because tonight I...

Made a homemade pizza

Bragging, a Little

2012-01-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

Okay. I may be 100% bias, but I have to say that little miss Emily may be one of the cutest things I have ever laid eyes on. Just thought that I would throw that out into the universe. I don't really have anything else to add beside this picture to back up my statement.

I Can Only Nurture One Thing at a Time

2012-01-27T20:00:00.001-05:00

Just a couple of days ago I discovered something that really saddened me. I found my beloved ivy plant shriveled and brown. Many times before I have come so very close to killing it, but its always bounced back. However, this time it is surely dead. Crispy, dried, and dead. Its a tragedy...

Not only is it embarrassing to kill a plant that is almost as hard to kill as a cactus, but this plant meant quite a lot to me. I've had it for twelve years and care for it since I was in middle school. When I was fourteen and working as a busgirl at an upscale restaurant I helped work a baby shower. The mom-to-be gave out baby ivy plants to all her guests to care for. The idea was that while she was caring for her baby all her friends and family would have a sentimental plant to care for instead. At the end of the shower, while she was collecting her gifts, there was one plant left. I was cleaning the tables when she came over and offered the last plant to me. With a big smile she insisted I take it, care for it, and help it grow. My fourteen year old self beamed at the gift and excitedly carried out the duty of keeping it alive, if not thriving, for over a decade. The plant went with me from Maryland to college in Vermont, lived in my dorm, traveled to Maine for a summer, lived in my cabin up north, and then came here to the Upper Valley where thus it wilted and died under my lack of care.

Perhaps its only fitting that while I raise and care for my own child the plant I took care of for years would wilt away. It was given with the intention to be cared for instead of a child and now that I have a child of my own the plant has served its purpose.

Or maybe I am just being too sentimental and suck at caring for plants.

I think its the latter.

The Newest Angry Bird Addict

2012-01-25T08:29:00.000-05:00

Hi, my name is Emily and I am addicted to Angry Birds.

Nothing seems to make little miss Emily flail in excitement more than watching her father play angry birds on his iPhone. She absolutely loves the game and jumps with excitement as each bird flies through the air. Sometimes she even tries to touch the screen herself. Perhaps its the bright colors of the game or the funny sound effects, but she can't get enough of it. Shawn doesn't mind. Now he can play Angry Birds and entertain Emily at the same time.

This Sunday Morning

2012-01-22T09:30:00.004-05:00

There isn't much going on at my house this morning. Its the kind of morning where its too cold outside to do anything except snuggle up inside where its warm. There's currently a fight for the chair that sits near the pellet stove. So far there is a three way tie.

Other than that there's nothing too exciting around our house until the football games begin this afternoon. Then, this house will be filled with excitement and possibly shouting since I am a displaced Ravens fan living in the heart of New England.

These are the days that make life worth living. No errands. Nowhere to be. No people to please. Just family, a warm home, and the added bonus of football rivalry. Yes, please!

Baby Bits

2012-01-19T20:02:00.003-05:00

There is so much going on, as always, that I barely have time to write a proper post, let alone read others' blogs, so I decided to do a little justice and talk a bit about the baby to update everyone.

How old is Emily now?

19 weeks and 4 days

How big is she?

13 and a half pounds!

Is she sleeping through the night?

Nope. Although, she does often give us a five hour stretch followed by two hour stretches until 6am. Unfortunately that five hour stretch begins at 7pm when its not appropriate to go to sleep just yet. I am anxiously awaiting a full nights sleep someday

What is her latest accomplishment?

She's just starting to roll over! Often she likes to spend time hanging out on her side.

Does she have any sort of schedule?
Not in the least. Everyday is different with Emily. Some days she will nap for two straight hours at three different times throughout the day. Other days she may close her eyes for a total of a mere twenty minutes. She is hungry at varying times, too. The one consistent thing with her is that the hour preceding bedtime has been dubbed her "cranky time".

How was her VCG?

The test to see if she had urinary reflux happened last week and it was negative! She now has a completely clean bill of health and doesn't have any greater risk of a recurring UTI than any other baby. That means no more antibiotics and their horrible side effects. Wa-hoo!

What's her favorite thing to do?

Sit naked, except for a diaper, on the couch and play with a plush, fuzzy blanket. Its the simple things!

What is she eating?

Formula is still the main staple of her diet, but she's started taking some rice cereal every now and then. The spoon is quite the perplexing object to her!

How are Shawn and I adjusting to being new parents?

Its still incredibly hard to find time to be adults together. In fact, we haven't had any time together and alone really at all since Emily made her debut. We are long overdue for a date night, or day, or lunch hour. Ha.

Any Photos?

I've been horrid with sharing photos of her on here. Months ago I had ambitions of sharing weekly photos, but even that small commitment fell through the cracks. Even so, I still take photos when I can, even if I don't share them frequently.

I know I am not always the most prompt with celebrating milestones or updating everyone on things, so if there is anything else you'd like to know or are wondering about let me know! Often my days (and nights) are a whirlwind of activity and, frankly, sometimes I choose to ignore the digital world, my blog, and everything else in general. Instead I'd rather spend time making noises with Emily and giggling, which I'm sure you can understand!

It Amazes Me

2012-01-16T17:27:00.000-05:00

That I birthed a red head.

With blue eyes

Recessive genes for the win!

Before a baby is born we spend so much time wondering and imaging the features, the hair colors, who will she look like? Its amazing to see the combination that is the result of the genetic lottery when life is created. Now I just am waiting to see if she inherited the curly hair that both myself and her father have. If anyone ever doubted our Irish heritage I'll point to Emily!

Back in the Saddle Again

2012-01-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

Last night marked my return to the ambulance after about a six month hiatus due to the arrival of Little Miss Emily. With motherhood and my new Monday through Friday job it hasn't been easy to orchestrate my return, but finally I made it happen... On Friday the 13th, during a snowstorm, and at night.

Actually, my shift was quite uneventful with only one call that really didn't warrant an ambulance in the least. Since it was not an actual emergency I opted to drive and let the younger EMT chief the call. The roads were bad and our call was far off the beaten path, as they always seem to be when the weather is bad. I was grateful for my decision to be behind the wheel since my years of driving an ambulance in the throes of winter more than tripled my partners.

There wasn't anything to mention, nothing exciting happened, and we traversed the snowy, icy roads just fine. However, in true Jen fashion, I of course proved to have very little tact over the radio.

"Ambulance 2 to dispatch"

"Go ahead to dispatch"

"We are off at the hospital"

"Ambulance 2 off at the hospital. What is your ending mileage?"

-- silence --

"Ambulance 2. What is your ending mileage?"

"Uh... sorry dispatch I don't have any mileage."

Next time I will remember to set the odometer when we leave the scene! Ha....

Instilling a Sense of Adventure

2012-01-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

Before Emily's arrival Shawn and I were known to pick up and head off to destinations hundreds of miles away without so much as a half an hour's worth of planning and preparation. We flew by the seat of our pants. If we wanted to go somewhere and do something then we did. I have no intentions of changing that now that Emily is here. When she was three weeks old we stuck with tradition and drove to the peak of Mount Washington for our third wedding anniversary. She's traveled to Maryland and back with me in the car for her first Thanksgiving. We've made countless trips to our old home to visit our family in Island Pond, which is over a hundred miles away. So, when Shawn suggested that we head to Maine for a day I excitedly agreed.

Maine is actually closer than you'd think to where I live so its not a huge stretch to do in a day. Actually, its about as far for us to get to Portland Maine as it was for us to go from our old home in Island Pond to Burlington, Vermont. That was another trip we frequently went on before Emily's arrival. However, this time Shawn wanted to visit the giant Cabela's store near Portland. Our sole reason for the drive was so Shawn could prepare for ice fishing, which begins this coming weekends. I, lover of long car rides, didn't care what the purpose of our drive was. Just heading out on the road and seeing the countryside was enough for me.

Despite all our little troubles with Emily's health and her inability to sleep through the night (she still wakes up at least twice a night) we have been blessed with a baby who loves to travel. Emily will happily sit in her car seat, occasional chatter, play with toys, and nap the entire time. We, of course, take pit stops to take her out, give her a bottle, and play. I know several parents who's children can't tolerate even an hour car ride so I am thankful that Emily continues to love our road trips.

So, off to Maine we went. The drive was uneventful and pretty. Barren brown landscape was punctuated by lakes dotted with ice fisherman (the season is open in New Hampshire and Maine already). We listened to the radio, chatted about life, and pointed out nice camps while wondering what it would be like to own a piece of wilderness there. Just for fun we even took the long way, without highways or interstates, to get there. I'm a fan of back roads like that.

After shopping at Cabela's and a few other nearby stores Shawn was set for ice fishing season to open. Meanwhile I looked at a map and realized just how close we were to the ocean, mere minutes. There was no way I was going to be that close to the ocean and not see it, especially when Emily had not been to the ocean before! Nothing beats making "firsts" everywhere you go, like never before seeing the Atlantic.

We found a side street in Old Orchard, a summer resort town that was literally abandoned this time of year, and parked our car. The wind off the ocean was chilly, but considering it was forty five degrees the weather was balmy for January. Shawn and I, with Emily in my arms, strolled out onto the sand and headed to where the waves crashed upon the shore. The tide was out and the sun was starting to get low. The light was actually pretty amazing. We took a couple of photos and took in the sights before the chilly air began to get to all three of us.

It was peaceful just standing there watching the waves and looking down the beach, which was devoid of almost anyone except for a few people walking. Seeing the sand so empty was definitely a treat. Emily seemed indifferent to greeting the ocean, a moment she will have no memory of beyond a photo to assure her that she did make the trip, but she was happy just the same. She's happy where ever we take her and with whatever we show her. It seems that our mission of instilling a sense of adventure is fairly successful so far.

Haiku Monday

2012-01-09T07:18:00.000-05:00

Winter's icy shore

Bare trees and thickened ice

Perfectly untouched

Sweets of the Week

2012-01-08T15:12:00.000-05:00

This week flew by. It was a mush that included a holiday and a three day weekend. For some reason I don't feel like I got that extra day this weekend, but just because I am exhausted and tired doesn't mean there weren't great things about this week.

1. I have exercised every single day to some capacity this entire week. Go me!

2. Emily is starting to giggle! I can't wait to illicit more laughs from my little munchkin in the days ahead.

3. I've finished two books on my kindle already. Its awesome to finally be able to read so frequently and so easy.

4. This was the first week that I can remember where Emily didn't have a bit of illness or discomfort of some sort. She's been a completely happy, cheerful, awesome baby.

I couldn't ask for a better baby when she feels well.

5. It snowed. Okay... so it was barely a dusting, but any sort of white precipitation this winter is noteworthy! I will not mention my lack of snowmobiling so far this winter (every single snowmobile trail in the state is still closed) because that is not something 'sweet' at all.

6. I cleaned out Emily's room. For a four month old she sure has a lot of stuff! What she's outgrown and what we don't use I've packed up and put in the basement for friends who are expecting much later in the year.

7. Downstairs in the basement we've started to set up an office! The floor is concrete, the walls are just white painted drywall, and the ceiling is bare, but its going to be a great place to work on my photos.

8. And here's a picture of my cat in front of our pellet stove, just because.

Its a warm and cozy kind of day!

Why I Don't Regift

2012-01-05T06:48:00.000-05:00

The topic comes up every year around the holidays... to regift or not to regift? Its always the questions, because every single one of us always has some bizarre gift given to us by one of our relatives or friends that we really have no use for. However, I will never regift thanks to my mother and what happened when I was in the seventh grade...

I went to a small school where it was customary to give your teachers a little gift for the holidays. That was back before gift cards were everywhere(God, that makes me feel old!). You actually had to buy gifts and picking out what to get your teacher was never easy. It had to be something nice, but not too personal. As a kid I always left the responsibility of shopping and selecting a gift up to my mother. My only part in the entire ordeal was trucking the nicely wrapped package to school and not tearing the paper before gifting it.

So, one year when I was in seventh grade my mother must had forgotten that it was the last day of school before Christmas. I asked her what she had picked out for my teacher when her eyes widened in horror. The bus was going to arrive in a few minutes so she began dashing around the house. Moments later she emerged from a closet with a very odd bird feeder that was still in its box. I recognized it from last year's Christmas. It was a colorful duck, with real life features, size, and coloring, that was hollowed out in the middle where you could put bird feed in it. In all honesty it was quite the bizarre and unattractive feeder, but I knew that my grandmother, had picked it out last year and given it to my mom. Immediately I began to protest her choice for a gift.

"We can't possibly use that for a gift, mom! Your mom gave it to you for Christmas!" I exclaimed. She just seemed annoyed, as if she couldn't understand what the issue was, but I was horrified. All I could think about was the time my grandmother spent picking out that feeder. My twelve year old self had visions of her carefully selecting it with hopes of it hanging outside a window and drawing in countless colorful birds that her grand kids would lovingly watch through the glass. How could my mother do such a thing to her gift?

This is a pretty close example to the bird feeder, at least how I remember it.

She hastily wrapped the feeder in shiny paper, handed it to me, and gave me a stern look that signaled I better take the gift and head to the bus stop without further objection. The entire bus ride I sat and thought about how the gifts that I had diligently picked out for my parents could be re-wrapped and sent off to other people without so much as a thought. I was consumed with sadness. How could someone do such a thing and had someone done that to one of my gifts? The whole idea of gift giving was tainted in my middle-school mind.

As I arrived in class other students had placed their gift on the teachers desk in an uneven pile. I added mine to the stack and took my seat. Near the end of the day the teacher unwrapped all her gifts. When she got to mine, broke through the shiny paper that revealed a duck bird feeder, she look at me with a smile and said thank you. All I could think about was how my grandmother's gift was going to my seventh grade teacher. I managed a smile, but it was a superficial one.

For all I know the teacher went home and regifted the same bird feeder to someone else. It certainly wasn't a real practical gift, but the experience has still lived with me. Every year I have a faint mound of sadness inside when I think about the possibility of my gifts being regifted and I never ever regift anything given to me. It really is the thought that counts, not the gift that matters.

How Being a Working Mom Works

2012-01-03T18:12:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am no expert at being a working mother just yet. After all, I've really only qualified as a working mom for the last couple of months, but I am succeeding at it. I also might add that its getting much easier as the weeks go one. Heck, I've even been able to throw in an exercise routine and time for reading now that Emily is feeling much better! While I may be new to this role I'd say that what I am doing is working and all I've done are a few simple things...

1. Do not take work home. One thing I never ever ever do is bring work home. No matter what I leave undone or important thing sits on my desk that is where I leave it at the end of the work day. It is a firm rule I've laid down from the first day and no one questions it. I don't get paid to work from home. When I am with Shawn and Emily I am with them and not working.

2. Its okay to leave some chores undone. I frequently leave the clean and dried clothes in the dryer (who cares about wrinkles) just so I don't have to stare at a pile of laundry some nights. Instead of dirtying dishes I've been known to order takeout some nights.

3. Share the load. Shawn is amazing at carrying an equal load. Some nights he will cook dinner while I put Emily to bed. Other times he will wash dishes while I am folding laundry. It is also a huge help that Shawn is sometimes home during the week when I work and able to pitch in when Emily cooperates.

4. Shut off the phone. It is so important to "unplug" for a portion of the week. If its important they will leave a message and you can call them back. No one needs to feel they are constantly connected and weighted down by other people, especially to work.

5. Don't schedule too many things. Even scheduling time with friends and nights out can stress a person out. Its easy to get over zealous with friends making plans one night after the other to keep up friendships and connections. However, nothing feels more freeing and enjoyable than knowing you having nothing plan, can come home, put on sweatpants, and relax. Of course, don't underestimate the importance of a night out every once and a while.

So, that is what I've learned so far about being a working mom, especially a working mom in a supervisory healthcare position where there is never technically a day or night off. Its not an easy title to bear, working mother, but it can be done, and happily at that!