thinking out loud

Amey Fischer

2010-07-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

I first knew her as "Kyungmee", author of a blogsite that talks about her experiences being a Korean adopted into an American home. It was how she narrated her story through written words that initially got my interest in her. She was very descriptive. I was reading her memories and it was like I was also there.... sitting on a bus seat in Korea; choosing Korean veggies in a Korean market in America; reading the letters she exchanged with her sisters.

But most of all, I also felt her longing to reconnect with the family that she, by circumstances, was forced to leave behind in Korea. Her search for roots, to me, was her effort at establishing a solid identity. One that she can really own up to.

Amey emits what I call an e-aura that is positive. I have not seen her in person; have not even heard her voice. But her articles showed to me a good person behind the webpage; someone who has no pretensions; someone that is easy to get along with, light to "carry"; someone whose confidence I envy. I am jealous of this persona that is Amey because she is able to do the things that I am sure she love; like photography, blogging, shopping, going out with friends, school even, and having time with family. Me? I do only half of these things, sometimes a fourth.

The only thing that I do one hundred percent is having time with my family and time for work. And, thinking about it now, I realize I am still happy and contented emotionally. I guess my envy of Amey's life is not really "envy", but rather Amey symbolizes to me a dream, a paradigm of what my retirement years would be like. Yes, I would like to pursue my photography ( and other things) and upgrade it to the level where Amey's is right now. For the time being, I guess I'll have to work and save first for the kids' education and then for retirement.

To Amey : thank you for being Amey on the internet. I had been an absentee blogger and friend, but I promise I will really keep up soon. Congratulations that your photography is serving you well, and good luck, too!

My Apologies

2010-03-02T02:34:00.000-08:00

This post was long over-due. I owed it to my cousin Wilma and her friends at the HELP FILIPINO CHILDREN FOUNDATION.

I wrote before about a charity activity that Wilma conducted in Davao City and Mati. I inappropriately hinted in the post titled "Paying it Forward" that the donation from HFCF was in exchange for a free lodging that the couple had at Wilma's. I found out that it was not really the case. I got Wilma's story about how it happened totally out of context, and made that incorrect conclusion.

I would like to apologize to the concerned couple, to HFCF, and to Wilma for my erroneous understanding of the background of those events. We talked about it (chatted actually), and many other things, only on the phone on a night when communication signals were really bad. At this point, I opted not to redevelop the article and write the correct data yet. I would like to talk again with Wilma and get the facts straight.

And to atone for my error, I am going to inform my readers about HFCF and the wonderful things it does to help my country by helping its children.

Technology in the Third World

2010-01-22T02:03:00.000-08:00

Actually, the title should read " technology in my very third world office".

Hmm... hmp!

My NGO is really small - from number of personnel, to office size, to amount of operational fund. The last factor being the main reason why we only have two desktop computers, one is currently dead.. as in dead like it refuses to turn on? and my live files are there.. and my favorite games, the Scruffs and tumblebugs.. and the new songs that a computer technician downloaded for me yesterday.

I was in the city yesterday to have the just- purchased CPU examined because after a few weeks of use, it stopped processing data and projecting images on the monitor. Like it was silently shouting in my face " This is what you get for buying second-hand, reassembled, eight thousand- peso (as in 173 dollars, current rate) CPUs!"

But the technician said, and I saw while he was tinkering it, that the unit "is" operating perfectly. There were no hitches while he turned it on, checked the BIOS and CMOS, the accounts, the files, programs. He turned it off and on and rechecked software properties. Our second-hand gadget did not fail in his hands.

But that was yesterday. Today, I got to enjoy the other computer for only a couple of hours. It went dead again! So, I called the technician long distance who told me to get a local technician who can better assess the problem. And that technician is not coming until Monday. So, now, I and my co-workers will have to make do with one computer. You can imagine the hassle because there are four of us who each have urgent works to be done.

Yes I have office-related work to do but I opted to open my blog just to gripe about our incapacity to go hi-tech, communications wise. I have so many backlogs! There's the project proposal that Zelda asked me to write last December. There's the article about HELP Filipino Children Foundation that was long over due (I am terribly sorry, cousin Wilma). I have not even visited my Facebook and Bloggers friends (I miss Amey already, and the rest of the guys).

Now, going back to my lead statement. My NGO is indeed a small organization. It is not yet self-supporting; like it still relies on funds coming from grantmakers, local and international. It is small yet it has big dreams and broad services that covers 12 direct beneficiary communities. It has made impacts in its environmental work and I know it can still do better.

Relatively newer and more efficient computers, the lack of it, may not hinder us from doing our jobs successfully, but it can definitely help in making these jobs completed more on time, and less stress-fully. I wish we can have sufficient funds for these things.

Well.... gotta go back to the proposals....

The kids said "thank you" in a song

2010-01-22T01:06:00.000-08:00

On 25 October 2009, a sunny Monday, I and my whole family were in Masao in Mati to help my cousin Inday Wilma pack the gifts that will be given to a hundred schoolchildren in the area. My husband and the kids, together with Mama Neneng, Manoye and Aunt Bebing went there earlier in the day to take a swim; bond with cousins, uncles and aunties; and take pictures of the beautiful Pujada Bay using the Fujifilm camera that Inday Wilma gave me. In the evening, after dinner, we all sat down to pack the gifts of school bags and supplies. Even the little ones helped. We were like workers in a factory where work schedules are very organized. Someone did the sorting; another did the piling; and yet another did the checking and rechecking that each gift will contain all of the items available. We were done in less than an hour with many hands helping. I and my family went home at around 8:00 o'clock that night.

The following day at 7:30 a.m., my set of beneficiary kids and their parents were already there outside our house waiting for the service vehicle that will take us to Masao. I had 14 schoolchildren from grades 1 to 2. The look of excitement was obvious on their little brown faces; although the mouths were shut and not one asked me of what color are the bags; how many notebooks are they getting... they were generally silent. But the eyes were enough to convey their feelings at that time.

When we arrived in Masao, the party had already convened. There were about, my guess, a hundred little boys and girls gathered in a corner of Wilma's resort. Prior to this, we were worried that not many kids will be able to come because of some protocol problems with school administrators. I found out that the parents and teachers that we contacted had ironed it out and let the children be absent for a half day from classes.

So, the program started. The kids lined up to receive their very early Christmas gifts. My nephew and niece, Christian and Nicole, were tasked to act as the gift givers. One by one, the children shyly extended their arms to receive the bags; get some snacks; then hastily walked to some corners to check out their new possessions, and compare it with those of the other kids or show to their parents. I saw one particular little girl of about seven who hugged her pink bag tightly, even smelled it. Was it the first time that she had a new bag? Maybe.

Towards the end of the program, a young boy sang a little song. . The song was about a fictional character, a superheroine. It was not entitled "Thank you", but it was his way of expressing his gratitude for having benefited of the gifts. All the other children then gathered back together and sang nursery songs accompanied by the parents' clapping and feet stomping and singing-along. It was a joyful morning. The kids went back to their homes and schools proud and happy.

I was happy and gained fulfillment from the activity. I guess everybody was; especially Inday Wilma. The Masao gift-giving was a third in a series done by my cousin in behalf of the Help Filipino Children Foundation. She also gave out school supplies to a hundred children in the village of Callawa in Davao City; and visited and fed cancer-stricken children who are confined at the Davao Medical Center.

The gifts were simple. Affordable. But the bags and the food were not valued according to their monetary prices. The gifts were meant to let those poor children realize that someone else cares for them. The gesture was also meant to again teach the value of sharing; and we all can do this everyday. One child at a time? One other person?

Merry Christmas everyone! May we all have a bountiful New Year in 2010!

My Nephew's Dream

2009-10-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

One of my brothers sent me a message yesterday requesting for support. Financial at that. He said that Arnel, his eldest son, could go and work in Florida, USA as a food attendant at McDonald's. He was able to pass the prelims but is hard up with the financial requirement. He needs 888.88 US dollars to be able to pay for his air fare and a little pocket money. The deadline is on October 8th, 2009. Really that soon!

I am happy and excited that my nephew is given this opportunity. For struggling people in the Philippines, a chance to work abroad spells a magnitude of difference for their lives. Working abroad, especially in western countries could mean new home, sufficient fund for education, literally new life not only for the worker but also for his/her family ( in many cases, to extended groups such as other relatives and friends.) This could be equivalent to positive changes in many people within Arnel's circle. Most importantly, it could translate to a good future for Arnel.

Arnel is a good kid. He supports his own schooling by working as a food crew in a local fastfood chain. He was never, as far as I knew, involved in any juvenile delinquency. His parents are mostly proud of him for having chosen to be "on the good side" of society. Despite their being destitute ( they live in the slums) and having to face economic challenges all the time, Arnel and his family remained morally appropriate. They also believe that education is a secure investment and are working hard to attain it. I am really glad that here is this glimmer of light at the end of their proverbial tunnel.

But, I am sad, really sad that I cannot be significantly become a part of this opportunity and help facilitate it. For one thing, I cannot as yet possibly contribute financially. I have my own economic backlogs of sort since two of my kids were hospitalized just recently. The least that I did was ask other relatives for help in Arnel's behalf.

I am sad because I have always wanted to help my brother's family, even if I cannot do so grandly. But my siblings have always been a part of my hope and aspirations. If my family will do well in the future, my brothers will definitely share in it. My regret is that I am not yet there. My family is not yet there. So, I am helpless.

A part of me is angry because I am now almost 40 and still at the beginning of making a real living. ( No, I had not been lazy before; I just dedicated my time to something else that was not financially lucrative.) Age and having had a family already make the efforts more laborious. I had to do double-time. But that was only a part of me, my whole being is generally light and hopeful that I can still achieve what I and my husband hope to achieve. In the same breath, I am also hopeful that Arnel can make it and realize his dreams. He deserves it. If he can't have the Mcdonald's opportunity, he can very well avail of other opportunities. and by then, maybe I can already be there to tangibly support him.

Good luck, Arnel! And be positive about everything!

Fears

2009-09-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

I am not at any point near paranoia, but I have these apprehensions regarding the future - mine, that of my family and friends, the next generation's, earth's. The images that are entrenched in my mental vision were scenes in the movies Mad Max and Waterworld were there were either all land or all water; where food ( a can of sardines or a peace of bread, at that) became equivalent to one human life. Where are the trees and animals? They were reduced to being a single entity in pots and empty biscuit cans; and minimized into one species of dogs or cats; or just pictures in aged books and magazines. Do I have to tattoo an image of a forest on my daughters' back hide just so they will be sure to have an idea, in the future, of what a forest looked like?

Extreme.

Those scenarios may not be real. But, with the increasing rate of statistics of endangered species, lost forest cover, human population, human disregard for rehabilitation, greed for the material things, disrespect for natural law and order, and increasing scientific proofs that those circumstances could well happen, then, I believe we are treading in exactly that grim path! And nature herself is leading us to there.

Nature is and will, if we remain ignorant and/or defiant of her regulations. Studies of nature - her movements, moods and intensity - indicated that we should not over use her resources because these are her fortress for herself and for us, living organisms. Fortress against our own destruction brought about by our unconcern and greed. When was the first time that nature told us to take care of her? during the first ever typhoon? the first ever flood? time and again, we were warned. But, hard-headed that we are, we never listened and we never cared to decipher the writings on the wall ( where ever and when ever that wall was erected). Some people have even this dismissing attitude, " I am not worried because those resources will be present during my lifetime. Leave it to the next generation how they are going to feed for themselves and survive." Talk about being irresponsible!

I am not a perfect environmentalist. I have my accountability, too. but I am realizing my folly and wanting to make up for it. I am enjoining all peoples, all races, all governments to really make the appropriate actions to give nature, this earth, a much-deserved break! Let us not put too much pressure on her ecosystems. Let us not over-do resource utilization. Replace what we have taken. Cut one tree now and plant two an hour after. Then, tidy up! Don't let garbage, may it be solid or gas, accumulate.

Paying it forward

2009-09-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

Last night, in the midst of my watching tv footage of the damages caused by typhoon Ondoy in Luzon and while harsh winds were attempting to rip off my roof and my husband also trying his best to triumph against the wind ( ok, that was a very long introductory statement, plus this :) ), my cousin Wilma, who is now based in Germany, called me up last night and informed of a really good news : school supplies for school children! And she will be giving those out come October when she comes home for a vacation. Isn't this great? 100 grade one pupils will benefit of this generosity. I can already imagine the smiles on those kids' faces when they get to receive a school bag, sets of papers, pencils, etc; plus some snacks during the event.

How this idea came about was amazing, actually. Wilma told me that, once, a couple who were running a foundation in The Netherlands stayed in their upstairs apartment (Wilma and her husband rented it out as a bed-and-breakfast) during the couple's visit to Germany. They got to talk about situations in the Philippines, their own lives in general ; they started to become friends, and ended up becoming charity partners. My cousin waived their rent. The couple, in turn, offered to donate some goods to schoolchildren in the Philippines! Wilma was so happy because it would (my thought) be a wonderful way to celebrate her birthday on the 9th of October. Really good timing. Soon, they might also be doing another charity work.

I realize from these story that Wilma and the couple are actually paying it forward ( God bless them!). These people did not benefit anything from these children, and yet they are giving them a gift of generosity. These could make these children realize the goodness of giving and would hopefully repay this kindness to other people or children, too, generating a ripple effect. It can be a better world!

Wilma has commissioned me to identify at least 25 schoolchildren in my town, which i will be happily doing. I am really excited about it. The other 75 will be coming from Davao City, Wilma's hometown. I will be covering those events and I pray that it will not rain on those dates!

2009-09-18T03:34:00.000-07:00

The girls having fun with their Aunt Rhemma at Seaside Restaurant.
Showing some teeth!
And more teeth! (less hair, though.)

Cory Aquino and Gloria Arroyo: the Jekyll and Hide of Philippine Politics

2009-08-23T23:39:00.000-07:00

I am not privy to the internal happenings in Philippine politics. I am, afterall, living about two flight hours away from the National Capital region and an ordinary citizen. My perception of our government officials is based solely on how they were projected in the news media. I guess, if one politician had the bigger cash vault and the better projectionists, then he may also have the more favorable image to the common people. But then again, we have Auntie Cory and Big Sister Glo, the only two lady presidents of the country, so far.

Corazon Cojuangco Aquino became the first woman president of the Philippines, and in Asia, in 1986 courtesy of the famous four-day EDSA Revolution that toppled the Marcos dictatorship which reigned for twenty years. With yellow as her official color and the L hand sign as her symbol, she governed the country for a single term that was threatened by seven coup d' etat; damaged by Typhoon Uring that devastated the City of Ormoc and left thousands dead; by the sinking of MV Dona Paz which registered the country's worst maritime disaster; by the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo in 1991 that made billions of losses to the Philippine economy; and several other occurrences that made the Aquino government unpopular. Mrs. Aquino's term ended in 1992 and, despite clamors from some quarters, she refused to bid for the same post twice.

Gloria Macapagal Arroyo became the second female president of the land in 2001, again courtesy of another EDSA Revolution that displaced former movie actor Joseph Estrada from the presidency. Mrs. Arroyo is still encumbent and in her ninth year as Chief Executive of the Philippines. Those nine years were marked by various scandals that mostly indicated the involvement of the President and some members of her family. The most notorious were the Hello Garci episode where Mrs. Arroyo was charged as having cheated during the 2004 election; and the ZTE Broadband deal scandal that had the First Gentleman accused of corruption. There still were man-made and natural disasters. Like the Aquino government, the Arroyo regime became unpopular to the Filipino common people.

But Ex-President Corazon Aquino did not become unpopular as a person. She was still a symbol of unity and freedom, up to her death on August 1, 2009. When her presidential term ended in 1992, she continued to remain a political presence because she was always sought either as mediator of conflicts or reliable endorser of political candidates. She had managed to cloth herself with a certain power that the people respects. She became the epitome of moral politics. She was still the people's symbol of hope and freedom. I may not be an insider. I may have based my comments on the media projection. But I can surmise that she was all of that because of the magnitude of people that came to her wake. It can't be the work of Mrs. Aquino's paid publicist, if she had one. The outpouring of love and support seemed genuine. People brought flowers, lit candles, left notes, threw confetti and shed tears for the Yellow Lady. They sympathized with her bereaved family.Thousands of them did. The funeral measured Corazon Cojuangco Aquino's worth. They adjudged her as "Good."

Current President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is not yet dead. She can't be measured yet by the same barometer. I doubt if she will benefit from the same deluge of support. But, one thing is sure: many people consider her as an arrogant president. Someone whose greed for power is insatiable. Before the 2004 elections, she made a vow to the people that she will not vie for the presidency again. But, she did and is currently serving a full six-year term. This term is supposed to end in 2010, but her maneuverers are working hard to extend it by way of changing the Philippine Constitution, which the common people are opposing to. Alive and encumbent, but Mrs. Arroyo is being judged as "Bad." Will her funeral draw the same emotions, the same crowd? I doubt it

My Daughters Have Dengue!

2009-08-12T01:29:00.000-07:00

Two of my children registered positive with dengue. It is a disease common to tropical countries like the Philippines, and is carried out by the mosquito Aedes aegypti also known as the yellow fever mosquito. At first, the kids had fever and complaining of stomachache. I brought them to the doctor on the third day when the fever still recurred despite paracetamol. They had the tourniquet test. My eldest had rashes manifesting on her skin, my second child did not; but the doctor said she still has dengue as indicated by the other symptoms - fever, tummy ache, weak disposition, low platelet count. The blood test registered normal platelet counts at 300 for my daughter alab, and 270 for Red. The doctor though warned that the count might decrease. It did.

On the second day of monitoring, Alab's platelet became 200, Red's was 168. I wanted to have them confined at the hospital already but their doctor said no since the platelets were still at the normal level. I argued saying it is not the count today that matters already but the rate that the platelets are decreasing by the day and something should be done already to arrest that trend. i hated it when I had to make this point to the doctor when it should be her who should have realized it. In the end, she requested for another platelet count (it was already around 4 p.m.) that resulted to Alab's count registering at only 172 and Red's at 120. The normal range is at 150 -450. A very low platelet count could cause for the patient to be comatose or dead. I told the doctor that I was bringing the children to another hospital in the city. She readied the pertinent papers immediately. During all these, I refrained from commenting more on the doctor's incompetence. I wanted to work well with her at that time because I thought nagging her about it would not help.

We were set to go. The hospital was not. There was no available ambulance nor any vehicle that could transport us to the city which was about three hours away by land travel. My good friends at the office did the scouting and luckily found someone, Vice Mayor Edgarflor Saulon of San Isidro, who facilitated for the ambulance. We left the hospital at around 6:30 p.m. and arrived at the Davao Medical Center at around 10 p.m.

The new platelet count of the kids during their first day at DMC were really low. Alab's was 139, Red's was 110. To a mother, these numbers spell disaster; they evoke fear. There is still no known and proven cure against dengue. You'll just have to rely on fluids and appropriate nutrients to somehow repair blood deficiency. Can the children survive this? Is it going to be worse? Were platelet transfusion necessary? When doctors fail to give you definite answers, you go to someone who don't also tell you anything verbally. But, at least he will give you hope.

I went to the hospital chapel and prayed. I asked God to help me and save the kids. Faith may be relative, subjective. But, believing that someone unseen can make miracles for you, this faith can help ease the fears felt at a given moment. You know, extending hope.

The second day saw the kids' platelet still decreasing at 110 and 44. They were weak and had no appetite for food. By the minute, my fears grew; especially when the other kid on the other bed was recommended for platelet support. And the other dengue patient on yet another bed was having a really high fever and aching all over. Seeing sights like these every moment and in the immediate environ where my kids were, made me want to take my children out of there. If we only had enough funds, we could have transferred them to a private room a.s.a.p.

On the third day, the attending physician told me that if the kids' platelet will register an upward trend, she will discharge the kids. The latest result said Alab's count was already 195, Red's was 65. I was really happy that it had become favorable. Red's platelet may still be lower than normal, but at least it is increasing. We immediately got out of the hospital.

Now, we are staying here at a cousin's house. We will be going back to the doctor for a follow up check tomorrow. If the kids' platelet counts are still okey, then it would be safe enough to go back home and keep the monitoring at the local hospital there.

I am still praying. Faith and prayers may not be absolute, but, like I said, these things extend hope. At that very moment that I was praying, I felt a certain lightness and positiveness that things will be alright. These are some things and feelings we can really make use of in times when we are feeling desperate and low like when someone you love is infected with the dengue virus.

Beaches To Go To on The Other Side in the Philippines

2009-08-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

There are many great beaches here in the Philippines. The most famous of course is Boracay. Then there is El Nido and Dos Palmas in Palawan and other resorts that you pay more for the ambiance and services rather than the opportunity to swim in their manicured beachscape. Expensive. International rates. Not for the backpacker who just wants a good swim and a feel of the local community's lifestyle.

This is part two of the article that I wrote on foods to eat and things to do while in the Philippines. While in that article I gave information on some of the bizarre delicacies in this country, this time, allow me to introduce you to some of the cheapest beach destination in the Philippines.

Here are two destinations that offer the same fun in swimming and beach combing that will not burn a hole in your pocket.

1. Dahican Beach in Mati, Davao Oriental. There is no entrance fee here as it is open to anyone. Its white sand may not be as fine as Boracay's but walking on it barefoot would still be a pleasure. The waves are big enough for surfing, beginners' level. Locals and tourists also come here to wakeboard. This sport has become a growing favorite among Dahican beachgoers since it was first introduced by a local named Junjun and his Japanese friends, so I heard. WARNING: there are no hotels and restaurants here; not even a hole-in-the-wall eatery. In the first place, there are no large establishments in the area; just a few little private houses line the beach. There is a retreat house, though, that is maintained by a congregation of nuns. The house can accommodate guests by special arrangement, and for a very affordable fee. A cook and cleaner may also be provided. Fresh catch from the sea is available in the morning when fishermen dock after a night out. All the other provisions can be obtained at the town proper that is about 15 minutes away

2. Masao Beach Resort, still in Mati. This resort has no beach, actually. It has a low ridge and you have to go down a short manmade stair where the last step is submerged in the sea. The immediate sea bed is made of flattened and smoothened dead coral that it feels like stepping on cemented floor. The resort offers a line of one-room stilt huts ( 7 dollars a day) and a bigger house ( 42 dollars, 1 day & 1 night) at the end of the line that has 8 little rooms. You may bring your own food or have the local chef cook for you for a fee.

The resort also offers a boat ride to the two small islands nearby. You pay 16 dollars for the boat ride, both ways, but nothing for the stay in the islands which has white sand beaches and really clear, cool waters. The resort is just about 10 minutes away from Dahican, but the waters here are gentle and kids-friendly. There are literally no big waves. Masao and Dahican share the same landscape; but Dahican opens out to the Pacific Ocean while Masao is located within a bay. They are on opposite sides of a small peninsula, separated only by a coconut plantation.

3. All the other beaches along the coastline of Davao Oriental. It is free to swim and comb the beach for shells, pebbles, stories from children that would be hovering nearby, watching the sun setting or rising, or just feeling the cool salty breeze of the wind. These are unsophisticated beaches away from the maddening party scenes in Boracay and other high-end resorts. No pretensions here. Just be on your shirt, shorts and slippers and you can already relax and enjoy your vacation.

Food to Eat and Things to Do On The Other Side in the Philippines

2009-07-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

The Philippines as an archipelagic country offers various ways to make your vacation here more exciting, especially for the uninitiated. Each island region has its unique recommendations for your eating, relaxing and site-seeing experiences. Plus, the prices were so cheap, your dollar will definitely go a long, long way. You will have enough change for second helpings.

There were already numerous suggestion for tourists on where to go and what to do while in the Philippines. Boracay and beaching always top the tourist destination list. Well, this time, why don't you pass up on the A-lists? Put down that tourist's guide pamphlet your travel agent gave you. Try these suggestions here and, maybe, you'll regard vacationing on a different light. By the way, allow me to present this piece in three parts. Let me introduce the food offerings first.

For eats, forget the high-end part of the streets. Go down the most trodden ways. Literally the most walked on paths and avenues. High foot traffic areas are where you can find the most bizarre yet exciting rations on earth - the street food. Do not worry; taste is only a matter of perception. Don't judge the chow by the way it is being prepared or ladled up to your plate. Take a bite, a sip or a suck and you'll realize that it is not bad after all.

The top five foodstuff you must, at least, sample are:

1. Balut. This is the Philippines most popular bizarre food. It is only duck egg that is not allowed to hatch. Really, you eat it with the duck embryo still intact inside. Cooked. And it is available anywhere in the country for only 15-20 pesos. It comes with salt and vinegar on the side. Many Filipino males believe that Balut is an aphrodisiac and energizer.

2. Day-old. Like the name says, it is newly hatched chick. It is fried whole and put on skewers three at a time and dipped in a special concoction of spices and condiments. They go for 20 pesos per stick. (Why am I having this guilt feeling while writing this piece? It seems like we are becoming fowl life deprivers now. No wonder we are having this chicken meat crisis here. ) Anyway, this delicacy is not yet popular in regions outside Luzon.

3. Dugo. This is animal blood cooked on a spit, again. It is first frozen and cut in cubes. It goes for 2 pesos with the usual dips.

4. Isaw. This is chicken intestines on a skewer, barbequed and also dipped in a sauce. Other regions call it IUD because when is skewered, it does look like that female contraceptive. It is priced at only 2 pesos

5. Adidas. Not the shoe nor the shirt. This is actually chicken feet that is either barbequed or battered and deep fried. Served with the same sauce as the other barbeques. Price: 2-3 pesos.

There you go. All the five fares will only cost you 90 cents. These are unusual food treats and eating them is already an adventure, and journal material at that. Something you may not forget and a good topic for discussion with your friends back home. "Won't you believe it? I have eaten a balut in the Philippines! Eew!

How I Say No To My Children In One Effective Way

2009-07-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

I am a mother of three little kids. My eldest child is only six and a half years old and in grade one. My middle child is four years old who is now enrolled in Kindergarten 1. The youngest of the three will be two years old come October 24, 2009. They are all girls. Three precocious angels that brighten and made our home complete.

My kids are the reasons why I and my husband are working double time. They are the precious added value to our relationship. We love them. I love them. So much that I try all the time to avoid hurting them in all aspects. I have learned not to inflict any type of direct physical harm to my children. Whenever they commit something that is against household and family rules, I tell them to face the wall for, like, three to five minutes, depending on the gravity of their offense. (The youngest is, of course, excluded for now.) In general, I discipline them through words. Communication. When I am angry at them, I show it in my voice by raising it a pitch, and not in the words that I use. Household rule forbids anyone to swear or to use any demeaning words. I talk to them explaining why this is allowed, that one is not; this can be done, that one cannot be.

My kids listen to explanations. But, these kids are kids. They always ask for something, anything that they would fancy like toys, food and lots of play time. Or, they ask about something and anything that tip their curiousity like " Where did the egg come from?" or " How is ice cream made?" or " How did my baby sister get out from your tummy? Did she crawl out of your nose?"

Sometimes, we would be exasperated at the countless requests and battery of questions that children throw at us, especially when we are busy with something else, like paperwork. Most of the time, when we cannot afford their requests nor think that we do not have the time just yet to answer them, our tendency (after having repeatedly declined in soft voice) is to raise our voice to silence them. This works most of the time. Children would give up badgering us. But, unknowingly, we are creating negative feelings in them when we do this. It is either a feeling of fear, hatred or indifference towards us, and not respect. No parent would want this.

Whenever I have to say No to my children, I talk to them as if they are adults. One time, my eldest kid came to me while I was doing my report that was due on the morrow. She asked me if I could buy her a new school bag. I did not stop what I was doing but I told her that a new school bag is not in my budget right now but that I will buy her one if I am able to earn extra money before the month ends. Then I explained to her the family's financial situation without being too technical. I believe children in school age would already understand this. My older kids do most of the time. It even motivated them to do better in school so that, they said, they would have a good job and be able to provide for us their parents when we get old.

Giving our children due respect and not treating them as inferior will develop their capability to also respect and understand others. The ways we say no to them could help in this aspect. "No" is already a negative word. If we deliver it in a manner that is hurting, we will be contributing to the child's having a negative perspective in life.

Our May-December Affair - How We Are Able to Stay Together

2009-07-14T02:55:00.000-07:00

I am 40 years old, my husband is only 30. I had my college education, he was able to hurdle only his second year in high school. I grew up in the country while he spent most of his life in the city. I had a normal youth. He, on the other hand, was engaged in brawls, hard drinking, drugs, petty crimes.

There is an ocean of difference between my husband and I, both in attitude and perspective in life. That is why I thought hard before finally (after two rejected proposals ) agreeing to marry him -- I was 32 then and working as an employee in a private organization. At that time, he was already working for another Non-Government organization as a messenger.

I cannot fully articulate the reasons for my decision to marry someone like him. I have had my share of boyfriends who were in "my level" but I chose to be with him. Must have been "love". But, I did not take the plunge blind. Like I said, I gave it a good thought first. My reference questions were 1) Will I be happy with this man?; 2) Will he be a good husband and father to my kids?; 3) Will he not desert me in times of troubles?; 4) Will the life he had in his youth not recur during our married life together?; 5) Will the gap in our age, and level of maturity, be an issue soon? Of course, I did not have direct answers to these questions. But I had inklings. My husband, before our marriage, was already a sweet and loving person, although not publicly expressive. He was generous to other people, and industrious. He did not flirt. And, most of all, he treated me special but equal. He was not affected by our statures in life.

Pros and Cons. The Pros had it. We got married in 2002, had our first baby ten months after the wedding, and now, we are well into our 8th year together as husband and wife. Two more kids were added into the family. It was not a totally blissful eight years, though. The worst problem I had with my husband is the gap in our communication process. Second was his drinking habit. Third was his inability to find a better means of earning money to help provide for the family. We are still trying to make ends meet in our household. The leak on our roof is yet to be repaired.

We have problems. But nothing that we think we cannot solve. The important factors that made our relationship work was respect and understanding. I know my husband's handicaps in terms of skills and intellect. He knows my pet peeves. He knows I nag. So, I expect nothing more than what my husband can offer to the family. He either keeps silent when I am moody or make efforts to cool my temper. However, when each of our boiling point is reached (which happened a few times), we still had the consciousness to not make matters worse by just ceasing to talk/make contact for a while. "For a while" means a few hours to us. It never happened in our married life that our fights remain unresolved for days.

I may have the upper hand in this relationship because of my age, acquired knowledge and life experience. But I did not think that my husband is inferior. He has his own special qualities that I value and am being grateful of. He takes care of our children well as I am a full time office worker. Before he attends to his business of selling homemade condiments, he first sees to it that the meals had been prepared; the children have had their baths; the pets have been fed.

I believe that to make a husband and wife relationship work, no matter the age or social status, both parties must always remember the reason/s why they married each other. Aside from love, they must understand that the person they married is not perfect. Each should expect that the other half may have other personalities aside from the one he/she showed before the wedding. And when these personalities manifest after, the first thing to do is seeking first to understand and accepting the flaws.

Of course, this is only my experience. I know there are many variations to my story and, maybe, the gravity of their problems are more serious than mine. Nonetheless, understanding and respect are universal solutions that everyone should try.

Money

2009-07-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

It seems to be the most desired element in most people's lives. It buys happiness. It buys comforts. It creates dreams. Money even gets you friends and, in some cases, new relatives. But money also takes away everything -- from all of the above and more like sanity, values and principles. People want money so much that sometimes they cheat and violate other people's rights. Money hurts and this has become a convenience in this world.

I desire for money, too. That is why I am working, and working extra to get more money. I want money because it helps me fulfill my obligations as a mother, as a member of my community. It will also help fulfill my children's dreams of a better future, which is also my goal.

I desire for money because otherwise I will be nothing. I will be helpless. In this society that is run by commerce, by the economy of buying and selling, those who don't have even a few dollars, pesos, euros or whatever currency, will die, and die lacking.

I desire for money because I desire to obtain the most important elements in my life : good health for my family, education for my children, romance with my husband, camaraderie with my friends, connecting with nature. If I can have all these with a smile, a wink or a tap on the back of someone else, then I don't need money. But, reality checked, most things we need to survive in this society don't come free. If you want them, you pay for them in cash or monetized in kind.

It is not shameful to admit to ourselves and to others that we desire for money. Do not fear the tag : MATERIALISTIC. In the first place, everyone does, all of us are. In the second place, admitting it will erase hindrances to our finding effective means to acquire cash or its equivalent. If we desire money without the guilt, we become more effecient in finding it.

But, hey, wanting materilistic wealth (in this case, money) then having it and living in it will only be easy and light in the feeling if we shall have acquired it without necessarily depriving others from having the same. I mean, stealing and cheating or shortchanging other people just to get it is still not worth it. Do it the clean way. And there are many, many clean and less hassle ways. Writing is one, for example. Okay, writing is not really hasslefree but there are other ways that many other people are doing that is why they are truly happy with their money.

Well, if everything (I mean every material thing!) in this world comes free, every one would be liberated from the bondage of greed, jealousy and violence. Everybody happy!

Advocacy

2009-06-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

I used to advocate for radical change in our government. I even joined the underground movement for this purpose until 2006 when I and my husband decided to quit and focus on rearing our family and live a very ordinary life.

But, advocacies are constant in anyone's life. Be it for change in government, environmental protection, religious, or just advocating for one's self-development and other "selfish" interests.

I still hope that there would be a real change in our government system - not just a change in form, but in attitude, in policies that will favor the poor. Today, i leave the big things to the movement and to those who want to do it. I settle with the smaller arena. e.g., enjoining my immediate community to reduce, reuse and recycle their garbage; or help someone i know assert his rights when he was eased out from his post as president of his organization -- behind his back; or just the simple act of reminding friends not to violate other people's basic human right.

I am having some guilt feelings about this, really. Each of us is expected to help big in trying to make society better. I had been there. But i made a choice, and i'm sticking with it. this might change in the future.... Well, we will see.

Some things that i do at home

2009-06-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote this little poem last summer in preparation for my oldest kid's grade one experience. We have enrolled her in the SPED and I thought it would be good if she memorizes a new poem so that, if and when teacher asks the class for a special talent, she can recite this one.

Mother Nature

The blue sky above us

And the clouds floating by;

The trees growing tall

And the flowers of many colors -

These are precious gifts

From our dear mother nature.

She gives us food to eat.

She gives us air to breath.

She gives us a wide,wide earth

for children to play in.

Nature is a caring mother.

Nature is our friend.

But, my kid doesn't seem to take in my interest. I made her practice, she obliged; but, i saw that that she's not very eager to learn the piece. Now I let her take her time in memorizing the poem because i understand that school children has this tendency to be interested more in what their teacher tells them to memorize or study on.

My second child, who is now in junior kinder, was more likely to get the poem. Almost every morning, upon getting up from bed ( and anytime she remembers), she would ask me for a practice recital. So, while I'm cooking or sweeping the yard or attending to my little garden, she would be near and trying her very 4-year-old best to pronounce every word in the poem. And the best line for her would be " she gives us a wide,wide earth", pronouncing it with the longest "i" (like "wiiiiiide, wiiiiide earth") and with matching outstretched little arms forming a circle in the air.

I do short poems for my kids because I can't teach them how to sing. My musicality is very questionable. I sing with them "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "Jack and Jill". But when I heard them sing on their own and they made the notes really bad, I stopped. They should not learn from me. My husband and I thought of buying this MagicSing thing. It's a microphone with built-in recording of hundreds of songs. It is connected to a tv, wireless. If we have that, then we can all practice singing, and somehow correct or improve our tunes. But the Magicsing is around twenty thousand pesos. Much money. And we cannot afford just as yet. So, I think that improving the children's musicality will have to come later. Poem reading will do for now. (sigh.)

and i didn't know how to "title" my blog

2009-06-24T00:54:00.000-07:00

This usually happens to me and, i bet, to some other people who wanted to write/blog about something : we get the hardest time in naming our piece. We put a title, we cancel, then we put another, then we delete it again. Or is it a problem only of the non-professional writers like i am?

Sometimes, i write the whole article first (whatever comes to mind),, review it, then decide on a title that i think fits. But, most of the time, i wanted the title to come first because it gives me direction on how to angle my article. It puts the boundaries on what i should only talk about. Stops me from blabbering and end up talking nonsense.

In this case, since it took me forever to decide on what title to work on, i came up with THAT one up there. Silly, maybe.

Like i wrote, I am not a professional writer. Haven't been published. Have not actually attempted to publish. I have written short stories, essays and poems in highschool and college, though. But when i reread those (yes! i kept some of my work - for senti values), only few make me proud. I reviewed those writings and realized that i had problems with my English grammar. Maybe even now. (Oh well, if i had been great at grammar then, perhaps, there could have been a professional output to my name. duh.)

English is not my native language. That is why i am not very conversant with it. And, for us not born in the English speaking regions, it is a handicap. Like now - I had a hard time choosing a title for this article because i wasn't sure what's appropriate, and of lack of a broader vocabulary.

In the Philippines, most people, ordinary folks, get the "nosebleed" when made to speak English in public. "Dugo na ilong ko!" The words, if not replaced with, are punctured by so many "ah", "uhm", plus the auto reflex of clicking the thumb and middlefinger when a term is forgotten or not known. In jest, some of us would actually stick out a tongue and say "read my tongue, it's oin the tip!"

This handicap reflects in the shortage of Filipino writers that become successfull in publishing international. True to all non-native English speakers around the world. But, grammatically perfect or not, if we write to express and believe we are able to express our thoughts and feelings in the language we chose, then.... creating the title should be the lesser problem.:)