Just Anima

asymptote

2024-04-06T13:53:00.001-04:00

So I have had more time on my hands lately, however I have also been filling my time with more things, so it's felt like I've had less.

However, I have had numerous occasions where dressing or masking would be possible, however I haven't for a while now. It has been sort of odd and I wonder if my interests are shifting.

Something that always bothered me with masking which could be a part of my reluctance recently is this feeling of pursuing something that feels impossible. There have been many occasions where I've dressed and quickly felt like the I made a mistake with the look: the pads aren't sitting right, the mask + wig isn't looking good, the outfit doesn't really work well, etc. There have also been occasions where I'm surprised and pleased with the outfit and look, but somehow there's a level of interaction or engagement that still feels like it's lacking. The best way I can describe it is, when I was a child I collected some action figures and would play with them. I'd see the commercials and watch the TV shows or movies that they were from and would get these enormous hopes about how having this action figure will somehow capture the interest and magic of the source material. Then once I had the figure in hand, after a day or so would be staring at it and thinking, "that's all this is? somehow I thought this would be more."

I sometimes have felt the same way looking in the mirror while dressed.
It's exciting and sexual and fun, yes, but somehow still feels unattainable. Maybe this is just me and the way I engage with my fetish, but to me I think the fantasy is to be a woman and dress myself in latex. However, the "be a woman" part is what is difficult and is the part that feels unattainable.. even when I have ostensibly attained it. It's a sort of hard thing to describe, I wonder if others have felt the same way?

Questions for you:

Before masking and dressing, do you sometimes feel sort of down and depressed?

If you end up having some free time and decide to dress, what is your process of getting there? Is there a mood or a feeling involved? Do you normally pre-plan and are excited for the occasion? how does that look to you?

New CreaFX mask out?

2024-02-01T19:31:00.001-05:00

If you haven't already checked it out, see the link here to the new CreaFX mask: Kiara

https://www.creafx.com/en/special-make-up-effects/kiara-silicone-mask/

I would guess that they're using the same internal boning system as they did with the Carmen mask. So even though this mask may not look like much, I bet it's state of the art. I was very impressed with the Carmen mask (see below) so I would only assume that they're using the same technology for Carmen as they are with Kiara.

nothing much

2024-01-13T18:44:00.001-05:00

Well, we all survived the holidays!
I don't have any masking or fun updates to share, but did just want to check back in to say I'm alive and haven't abandoned this site (like I often do).

Sable and I aren't doing well, which has been the case for a while now, but it's looking very unlikely that she'll be making more videos with me, which is the least of my issues with our relationship. She is in the process of moving out, so there may be an uptick in solo-content, but we'll have to see. I have a number of things to get in order before I consider having any big masking sessions.

I'm doing fine emotionally, so before anyone offers any condolences, I'm doing fine. Our relationship has been heading this direction since March of 2023, but she's only now in a position to move out. So making it through 2023 was the hard part, now that she's moving out, it's a good thing for my life, good thing for my female masking, good thing for my fetish life, just a bad thing regarding any sort of sex-videos. So it's a small trade-off on my end.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Black & Pink 2020 video uploaded to pHub

2023-12-17T13:04:00.000-05:00

Hi all, I just uploaded the previously referenced video to pornHub. It's a non-sexual video, just me brushing my hair for quite a while. The mask fits quite well and looks better than anticipated, but there's no play or explicitly sexual content to the video.
I hope y'all enjoy it!

Click here to view my pornhub page

Black&Pink

2023-12-12T02:46:00.000-05:00

More of an update soon,

Cleaning out old videos and photos (2020)

2023-12-03T03:07:00.000-05:00

This is teaser for a photo series and video (that will be free)

coming soon

Cyber Monday (apparently)

2023-11-26T19:11:00.006-05:00

So there's a sale going on at Clips4Sale, so this works for my pay-site as well as any other stores on C4S. I would have posted about this sooner, but I only learned about it just now 😅
Here is how the promotion works:

Thursday, November 23rd 2023 10:00AM EST
until Tuesday, November 28th 2023 11:59PM EST

UP TO 20% OFF of all clip orders during the
Clips4Sale Black Friday, Cyber Weekend, & Cyber Monday Sale!

$0 - $49.99 = 10% Off
$50 - $99.99 = 15% Off
$100 or More = 20% Off

I also just uploaded my second video in the anima(us) + sable series, A+S:02. I quite liked this one, please look at the preview for free here, click here.However, the video does cost money, it is nearly 16 minutes, but priced at $19.99, since the 2:1 ratio of time to cost seems like a bit much. I also can't say enough how much I enjoyed this video! I look forward to making more 🤞

Broaching the subject of masking with a partner

2023-11-25T18:25:00.000-05:00

So I've been alluding to this for probably years now, that I'll broach the subject of masking with my partner and perhaps make some content to share.

I keep finding myself chickening out when brining up the subject of masking with my partner. In the past, shared my masking fetish with a friend that became a semi-brief and semi-complicated romantic relationship. I had a few sexual masking sessions with this person I'll refer to as R.
R was/is trans, very open to gender play, very open to using prosthetics, etc. I shared pictures of masking with them and they were always very supportive, but when it came to actually playing with them (or having sex) while masked, I could feel that things would suddenly become awkward.

At this point, R and I had become very close as friends and had also crossed the threshold of being sexual partners (this was years ago). They were a good sport with masking, however it felt more like they tolerated it, rather than enjoyed it. While masked, I started feeling more silly than sexual and from these exchanges, I ended up recognizing that masking was something I would only be doing in private (by myself). Since it felt especially uncomfortable to be so vulnerable with someone to be received in a way where it was clear that they were 'trying their best' to go along with things.

I was hoping that sharing masking and playing with R would have been an experience that would build up my confidence with masking with others. However, it did quite the opposite. R was never derisive or judgmental of me outwardly, but after our few masking sessions, it felt like our connection became strained and awkward. For various other reasons, we dropped out of touch, but the impression from the experience remained.

With my current partner, we've had some sexual exchanges where I've been masked, but only while she's been blindfolded. It's only after the fact that I'd let her know I was wearing a mask, to which she seemed to have no response or concern about. I've also told her that I was wearing a mask and she was wearing a head-covering since we were making these videos, therefore it encouraged anonymity. However, I haven't directly stated that masking is an interest of mine and it's getting to a point where I'm very much wanting to make some videos with her while she is wearing a female mask.

For our videos so far, I feel like I haven't been very up front in basically saying afterwards, "oh yea, I was wearing a mask," but never really stating my interest in masking. I think that if I simply pull out a silicone mask for her to wear and say, "put it on, it'll make you anonymous for a video," it may not be received well. I worry that without proper context that she will take it as me saying/thinking that she is ugly or that I want to sleep with someone else (hence put on a different face). So I don't want to offend her in any way, but it feels like in order to avoid this, I'll need to open up and be vulnerable again. Given my experience with R, I'm somewhat worried about this.

So I'm curious if others have had experience with introducing masking to their romantic partners? If you have, how did you do it and how did it go? Does your partner participate in masking with you? What are some of the great things and not so great things that go along with it?

The plan I have now basically falls into a few categories:
1) present the mask and say that it's for one of our videos and that it would be useful to make her anonymous for the xxx clip.

2) present her mask and my mask (mine is male) and approach it like a fun 'role play' scenario. Probably having an initial show and tell session with her, then later do a full dress-up session + a video (if all goes well).

3) Sit her down and discuss my interest in masking and history with masks, then gauge interest from there. (this is the option I think is best, but also feel like I'll chicken out and not go through with the conversation).

I think the hardest obstacle that I face with my partner is that our schedules don't sync up very well. Most of the time we only see each other right when we wake up and are getting ready for work or around 10pm-12am where she's coming home and feverishly eating a very late dinner, then promptly going to sleep. Much of the time at night when she gets home, I'm typically already in bed.

The ideal share scenario I've been waiting for and hoping for is one where it's not the middle of the night, we're about to become intimate, then I initiate one of these conversations. The few times this has happened, we've typically worn latex and had sex or I wear something and have sex. It's been a very few and far between occasion and when these opportunities arise I think, "ok, we have this conversation and it totally ruins the mood and I miss the chance to have some fetishy sex OR we have some fetishy sex," and in the past I have always chosen the latter. As of now, my basic plan is to wait for this next opportunity and go with one of the options above, based on how the situation feels. But I did want to get a sense of whether anyone reading has had similar experiences and had any tips or suggestions to share? I'm also just open to suggestions in general, so thank you all in advance who comment. Thanks!

New video series on C4S

2023-11-14T12:57:00.000-05:00

So much to my surprise, clips4sale accepted and allowed me to post a sex video with me and my partner. I was expecting to get blocked in the same way I've been getting blocked on only fans and other sites. So I wasn't anticipating that it would work, I'm also not a huge fan of this first video, it was mostly uploaded to test if it'll work more than something I'm actually proud of. However, a few things about this and more videos that I upload with myself and my partner.

I gather that our sex/play videos are completely different than the other videos/content I've put up over the years. So I wanted to explain a few things before I'm sharing/uploading more.
1) A portion of the reason my partner is willing to put these videos online is on some level to make some money from them. Therefore the general structure of the cost of these videos will be 2$ for every 1 minute. We may shift the cost structure some in the future, however videos involving the two of us will generally be more expensive, so that will likely remain a fixed feature.

2) Sable (my partner) is more inclined toward bondage than anything else, so for the most part, these videos will be more latex/bondage focused.
3) I understand tonally that these sex/play videos probably better belong on a different site altogether. For now they'll share the C4S site with my other material, but I'll keep poking around online to find a different home for these videos.

4) if Sable and I break up, I plan to pull the videos from the internet, so it's unclear how many will be made or how long they will be up for. (it's not like things are really unstable between us, but we just updated our consent agreement (which I think is partially why these videos were approved for upload) so this was something that was recently discussed).

On a somewhat related topic: does anyone know of any female masks that are particularly small in size? Or at least not male-head sized?

The 'scene'

2023-11-11T15:31:00.007-05:00

Hi everyone, trying to keep up with some updates, even without big news or content to share.

I've been searching around a little on instagram and facebook recently, which ironically has become centers for maskers (which I think is a good thing). But it feels like masking has branched in a few directions and I've also seen lots of comments about how "filters are ruining masking."

So I just wanted to see what others take is on if and how the masking 'scene' has changed?

What are your thoughts about "filters" and if they're making a big impact on masking?

I personally don't have really strong feelings about any of it, since I've been out of the 'scene' for a while and when I was in it, my main motivation was to have female masking representation out on the internet. With the hope of drafting some new interest in masking for the next generation to take on and push into the future. Which in hindsight was sort of a grandiose and unnecessary mission, since I think it would have been fine with or without me.

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Célia GERACI
Personally, I find that filters are a cancer for the masking community. I estimate that 95% of maskers use them, especially newcomers. Thanks to the filter, there is no need for makeup and some use the filters without even bothering to adjust the mask. Some even use the filter to thin their own bodies and make themselves more feminine. They tend to hide their obesity through filters. However, when they do live, without filters, the result is particularly horrible.

In my opinion, I NEVER use filters and I NEVER will. My work is 100% natural and without filter, to the point that I plan to post with the hastag #nofilter or #photoshop.

It’s only my opinion, of course, but for me, a masker who uses a filter, I find that his work no longer has any interest.

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Anima -
I can see the frustration with filters more easily now. Maybe I've seen a number of them without even realizing it. I do remember when the "smile" filter came out and suddenly many maskers had smiles on their pictures, which was momentarily interesting, then when I realized what was going on, I found them less interesting. So I suppose I share your viewpoint miss Geraci. I'm personally a big fan of practical effects in movies, so I'd say that this is probably the closest analogy I can use to express a similar sentiment.

However to play devils' advocate;
I'd say that many maskers, myself included, are ones that mask in isolation, where the joy of masking is split into two categories: the experience of being masked and viewing the content one takes (images and videos). Whether using filters or not, the experience of masking should be fairly similar, if not the same if primarily using a mirror. Although, with filters, it makes the content potentially much more enjoyable or more desirable.

Masking (for me at least) is an odd thing, where sometimes the experience of masking itself is not particularly exciting/enticing, so my enjoyment of a number of masking sessions has been entirely when going through the images and videos. So for those in this category, at least people using filters can enjoy the content portion of their masking session more. However, I'd say that for others viewing these images/videos, the content is essentially tainted.. but if the person taking the images/videos doesn't mind it, then I don't think it's necessarily a horrible thing (if it's enhancing their personal experience).

There have always been maskers out there who have been so elated and excited by the masking process, where their joy is real, but their presentation is.. lacking in ways. However, I don't mean to sound critical, I think it's lovely when these maskers share themselves online and at times I've been this masker, so again, no criticism. If you're feeling pretty and having a great masking session and want to snap shots off even when everything isn't perfect, go ahead, we all want to see it! But I would agree, to others when using filters it is a little bit misleading feeling. I also think with all the resources being dumped into AI, this is likely something that's here to stay.

-------------------------------------------------------

Jess

I've gotta agree with the sentiment of filters and photoshop being a bad thing for masking. Both due to the resasons already mentioned, but also, if you're just gonna manipulate the pixels to look how you want then what was the point of using a mask in the first place? Doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose entirely? Why not just just edit the hell out of an unmasked photo, or just use AI to generate what you want?

And don't get me started on the "Chinese beauty filter" that's present on a huge number of videos from China (must be built into a popular app or platform or something), that in my opinion makes most people look worse (huge eyes and a super narrow chin just don't look good to me, I guess) as well as being rather distracting as it occasionally loses face tracking and flickers on and off.

I also refuse to use any filters or do any manipulation (other than basic brightness/contrast and background removal), and all of my photos are exactly what I see in the mirror.

I've also got to admit to being a bit crotchety and old-fashioned about how platforms like FB/IG/whatever-the-kids-use-nowadays treat their users and refuse to ever use them so I have much less exposure to this kind of stuff than most.

I guess if anybody's interested in an anonymous imageboard (4chan-like) site for masking-related stuff, feel free to check out/post on my site.

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Anima

Thank you for the comment Jess. The more I'm hearing from you all, the more sold I am getting on the photo-manipulation being a bad thing or perhaps a different thing altogether.
To the end of your imageboard site for masking-related stuff, yes I'd love to check your site out. Can you drop a link in the comments for us? (EDIT)
So if you're interested in checking out the site Jess is referencing above, please click the "comments" button below this post and click "Jess" written in blue and you'll be taken to the page.

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Jess

>Can you drop a link in the comments for us?

Sure. I put it in the URL field for the 'Name/URL' identity option, which should make my name clickable. If that doesn't show up for whatever reason, here's a direct link:
https://qchan.dyndns.org/bs/

Also, I really need to come up with a better domain name... if anybody's got suggestions for a new name, I'd love to hear it.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Anonymous asked - On a separate subject, where is a good place to connect and meet with other Maskers?

Anima - I'm honestly not really sure. My best guess would be on facebook, instagram, tiktok or reddit. However, I generally don't seek connection with other maskers, or at least I have not for years. So hopefully some people can chime in here with some better and more specific suggestions.

Juicy Silicone Body

2023-10-21T13:49:00.014-04:00

I'm finally getting a little time to put out some older content out, so here is the first of a number of at least a few more updates coming.

I there is a full video on my C4S site, so click here to see the page with this clip!

It's still Fall

2023-10-14T16:53:00.001-04:00

Just in the past day or so I've had an uptick in the sale of some of my videos. By that I mean that someone bought something! So thank you to the couple of you that purchased some videos in the past few days!

I think a part of my excitement is seeing that my C4S site is actually functioning again! (around the time of my previous burst of posts my C4S account was not working) I think I'm going to stop updating my pornHub account altogether, since their whole model has become more like youtube where all revenue is gathered via ads. So I'll likely use my PH account just to provide any previews for any newly released videos and have the rest of my content live on C4S moving forward. However, I have no set plans to make new videos and I'm really not sure when I'll have time to put out unreleased content. However, all told I think I only have a few videos + image sets that haven't been released yet.

I'll keep trying with OnlyFans, however it was a struggle with them before, one which I didn't win, so I feel a little defeated by that platform.

Not a big update, but I'm trying to get a little more regular here

It's Fall!

2023-09-30T14:58:00.001-04:00

Starting from the end and working backwards. I finally dressed as fem for the first time in.. about a year?
It was fun, but not quite what I expected.
I just felt the urge to dress so I thought, ok I'll try on this surf-suit, now I'll put on these hip pads, how about this top? and it kept going. So I didn't really go into this dressing session with a plan. So I ended up running out of time early, which meant no wig.

Over the past couple months I've had the urge to dress on some occasions, but I'm finding myself just wanting to snap my fingers and have everything on. I used to enjoy the process of dressing, but now (or at least this time) it felt more like work. I can't tell if it's me just getting older and busier or if something is really changing in terms of my interest in female masking. I do have to say, I continue to enjoy female masking in concept, but I find myself either lazier or with less time and opportunity to do it.

This last time dressing I was hit with an old feeling with masking that wasn't really the wonderful homecoming I was expecting.
For many years with masking I've felt somewhat frustrated with masking, since I've been feeling like I've been trying to fit a square peg into a circular hole or like I'm ice skating uphill. It may not be all that clear here, but my upper body is larger and more defined than it's been in the past, which has made creating the ideal dimensions even more difficult. It's also posing more issues with finding the right size of garments to wear.
I suppose the shortened version of what I'm saying is that there's always been some part of me that has felt disappointed when masking. Like I could have done something better or I'm feeling frustrated at some body part proportion or that I can achieve a good look, but only from a specific angle while I'm postured in a specific way.

Most of the images I've shared are ones where I feel like I'm approaching creating a more idealized or believable female form, however even within those dressing sessions, much of the time I'm lamenting over my inability to achieve the dimensions or look that I am hoping for. I certainly envy the maskers and cross dressers who are very thin, particularly with thin necks and thin arms. However, I also think that these people have to work for their look, so I'm not suggesting that I'm just genetically cursed while these people have it easy. I think it's always hard when trying to straddle the uncanny valley and swap genders.

For the past.. year or so, I've dressed more in masculine form, even with masking, as opposed to feminine. The main motivation for this has been the relationship that I've been in and that my partner has awareness of my prosthetics and latex fetish, but she is still unaware of my female masking and cross dressing fetish. So in the past year, I've probably dressed in masculine form about 1x/mo while in fem form 1x/year. I've been finding myself enjoying dressing in masculine form and in ways it's felt very opposite to my experience dressing as fem, in that my basic build and frame already lend itself to the male form, so building a more ideal male form is much simpler and the result is more believable. However, it's less exotic and interesting I have to admit. But it's made it very clear to me that I'm highly interested in disguise and prosthetics, but what I'm trying to transform myself into is less important.

I do suppose that a major difference between dressing as masc and fem is what to do when all dressed up. When dressed as fem, taking pictures of myself and looking in the mirror and getting that 'brain breaking' feeling when seeing a nice shapely body in the mirror is exciting in itself. When dressing as masc, it's interesting and exciting, but once fully dressed I'm normally having sex, so it's hard for me to know what dressing solo in masc form would be like outside of being in a relationship and whether it would feel unfinished somehow. Like cooking a meal and not being able to eat it.

Video and relationship update:
So my partner and I made a few videos earlier this year, however we never put them online anywhere, since we got blocked by the various online platforms where I have sold videos in the past.
My partner is pretty clear that she would want to be compensated somehow if the videos were online. However, things in my relationship have been pretty rocky since about March. So these videos may unfortunately never see the light of day since if we split or separate, I wouldn't put them online for mostly moral but also legal reasons.

But through the relationship I recognize that when I'm sexually satisfied my inclination to female mask is greatly diminished. However, my desire to wear latex and do some sort of sexual dress up is not heavily impacted. Which makes me wonder about the longevity of my female masking. I wonder if I'll end up becoming more of a female mask + fetish writer as opposed to a contributor, we will see. I think there's a big new generation of female maskers sharing online, which is great and I'm beginning to feel more and more like it is their time now and whatever I share online will no longer be for the fetish or the community, but more just to occasionally feel validated in my interests, even though the images and content I put out won't be anything for people to get overly excited about.

I have more thoughts in my head, but as of lately a bit more time on my hands, so with any luck, I'll be posting up more regularly here soon (I feel like I say this with nearly every post, so take that statement with a grain of salt)

More Technical Issues

2023-02-04T14:02:00.002-05:00

Wow, this new online environment is sort of nutty. I've been trying to get my profile updated so I can upload to C4S again, however I've been in process with them for just updating basic information for about 3 weeks now. Then with only-fans, I'm unsure if I'll be getting on there really, since my profile has been rejected about 8 times now. I guess in this new world of verifying identities, it doesn't support mask+total enclosure fetish.

In the meantime my partner and I are continuing to plan and make more content (not much at this point), so when it does come through we'll have things to share.

Technical difficulties and changing plans

2023-01-28T15:06:00.002-05:00

Hi all,
So I've been struggling a bit with this new online environment I find myself in when trying to post adult content. I'm pretty disappointed in PornHub. The more I'm trying to contact customer service and look through the site and my content, the more disappointed I'm getting. I think there may have been an issue where a number of my paid videos on PornHub never was actually posted online except for being viewable by me. So in February I'm going to try to get all my existing content on PH that I believe has been made private (and unviewable by anyone other than myself) up on a platform where it can be seen/purchased. I'm not sure what that platform will be exactly, since my original go-to was Clips4Sale, however upon turning to them I realized again there are new guidelines that I'm needing to follow. So I'm also working with them around updating my profile and making sure I'm in compliance with all their rules. However, with Clips4Sale, I believe that my site is still active and one can still purchase content there, which is something at least. I just cannot upload new content there until I get a call back from their customer service. So I'm hoping that this'll be resolved by next weekend.

In my frustration with PH and C4S, I did more research and verified that OnlyFans has a free subscription option where others can subscribe for free and I can share for free. Then when I have paid content, I can post it there as well. They're also touting a higher % reimbursement rate, which will allow lower sale prices on my end. So I'm feeling very hopeful about OnlyFans, however I'm still not verified with them and I have no experience with them, so I'm trying to keep my expectations low for now.

If you'd like to subscribe to me now (before I can actually launch content) please check the link below! I've also added a link to my profile over on the links bar to the right.

https://onlyfans.com/rubberanim

Introducing "Sable"

2023-01-22T15:00:00.002-05:00

Actual news, with pictures and videos!

so my partner and I have been discussing more about putting out latex and fetish content. I shared with her that I have a PH account and have sold solo content in the past. She somehow had nearly no reaction to this. I suppose it helps that she's seen a good chunk of my latex collection and also understands how solitary I am, so she saw it as a way for me to share my fetish with others, which is not untrue.

She says that she has been enjoying our latex-play and she was originally the one that brought up the idea of her being involved in making some latex videos, however she drew the line at it being focused on some non-sexual activity or being 'sensual' at the most.

A bit ago she was getting ready to put on some latex and from our previous conversations I pulled out my DSLR and tripod, just to open the conversation about possibly filming, hoping that this would be a baby-step in the direction of taking some pictures and hopefully consider making some videos in the future.

She was immediately open to me taking pictures and videos of her stretching and worming around until the suit fit the way she wanted. So I have a video that's been uploaded to my PH account, however it's been a long time since I've been on PH, so I'm seeing they've made some changes and it seems like each video needs to undergo some sort of review process first. So I'm hoping it gets approved and is put online soon.

Just to explain a little about the video itself:
I had no intention of taking any pictures or videos this evening where we took the video. Which is the opposite of how I normally make videos. Normally I would set the area, get the camera and the angle prepared and everything, THEN I would start dressing. This time around I was trying to maintain a safe and comfortable atmosphere while also scrambling to get equipment together.

That is all to say that this video doesn't have enough light, because of this the film quality is quite low. I also had to mute the video since she was playing music while stretching and I didn't want to get stuck with any copyright violations. I also couldn't really figure out a good boxing of the position of the camera, 1) because I hadn't cleared the area and 2) because she kept moving. So this is very much an amateur video and it's very much a first of it's kind for me. So I'm hoping in the future that we can pre-plan these a bit more and produce videos that are at least at the level that I was before.

However, this is all very exciting news to me and this story also goes on.. so I'll be sharing more about it here, however in the meantime I want this video to get processed. Then at that point I'll continue the story, but there are some big changes and exciting (to me at least) new content coming out in the coming weeks/months!

--post-post update--

So with not being on clips4sale or PH for a while, it seems like they've changed quite a few of their policies. So I'm trying to get everything updated and in accordance with new guidelines. Having said this, the video is uploaded, but I'm a little worried that I'll get hung-up a bit with some of these updates and needing to submit more documentation for compliance reasons. So once that gets squared away, the video should be viewable.

An actual update

2023-01-15T21:32:00.007-05:00

Hi All,
So my GF and I got dressed up the other night and since our last conversation about making videos, I just had my camera charged and attached to the tripod out after we got all rubbered up. I wasn't expecting this night to turn into any filming or even picture taking, but at least introducing the idea and starting to think about what/how we would do any sort of videos or pictures.

She was especially open to putting on latex and putting on a hood, since we were considering taking pictures. So there were some videos and pictures taken. She said that with the images I could share some, we now need to talk about whether we're going to do anything with the videos. So I'll hopefully have more updates here soon!

More brief and sporadic updates

2023-01-08T16:55:00.001-05:00

I shouldn't make promises of future updates, since I've become so irregular with masking or visiting my own sites.

A part of why I've been so bad about updating this past year (2022) was because my computer basically died. Not entirely, but enough to where using it became extremely difficult to use, so I pulled back from even browsing fetish related things.

Although, I'm here more to write out a recent observation.
I've noticed that from years of masking, wearing latex, and cross-dressing, I've basically been hard-wired to check out sales on women's clothing and sales on latex. Given that I haven't x-dressed or masked in the past year (which feels sort of nuts to me), my focus with perusing these sales has been to buy my girlfriend things to wear. She's been a good sport about wearing things I buy and offering to wear things even when I don't ask, which has been great.

So this shopping compulsion has somehow transitioned smoothly and nicely for me. She's also been pleased that I keep buying 'her' things (I put 'her' in quotations, because these are really purchases that are for my benefit). A part of my cross dressing has always had something to do with the fact that there were clothing items that I found particularly exciting, however trying to coerce someone into wearing these things for me all the time felt exhausting and ultimately unrealistic. However, now that I have someone that basically does this (maybe 1x-2x a month) it seems to scratch the same itch (getting to see these garments in action). It's definitely not the same as masking, in some ways I enjoy it more, in other ways I find it to be completely different. I don't miss all the time and effort of dressing up, only to achieve a look that I'm not pleased with, but I do miss the sensation of being that shiny sexy woman in the mirror, however I will admit it's not a bad consolation prize with having my girlfriend dress in these things and looking much better than I ever would.

When she's dressing up a good deal (nearly full enclosure) then I often will wear a fake muscle breast plate as well as a hollow dildo, along with a latex outfit, which I've been enjoying quite a bit and she has admitted that she enjoys it when I don these latex and silicone garments/prosthetics.

So I've just found it interesting in how my latex and women's clothing purchasing habits haven't changed, however the size of the things I buy has dramatically changed (since I'm buying for a CIS woman and not myself).

She and I are also in the process of figuring out some sort of project involving latex and creating video/s in the semi near future. This again was her idea, which I'm happy about. So if/when more about this comes out, then I'll be posting it up here, however this idea is still in it's infancy, so I'm entirely unsure what type of video/s these will be.

So I wanted to ask the community for some help here:
To start it sounds like she's interested in making latex/rubber videos that wouldn't necessarily be pornographic in nature: stretching, sensual movement, etc. It's also unclear if she'll be interested in being disciplined around putting out regular content (at least once a month). She's hoping to monetize these videos, which is the part that has left me unsure about what platform to consider.
I was thinking PornHub, but if these were free to view videos, then even with thousands of views, it only relates to maybe a few dollars a video (over the course of months). If they were pay videos on this platform, then I think it would be a hard sell, since they're not actually pornographic (in my opinion at least).
Has anyone had any experience with something like OnlyFans? It feels like something like this would be more appropriate for that platform, but it's also my understanding that OnlyFans is really for people who are going to be putting out a good deal of regular, ongoing content.

So does anyone know of any platforms for sexual (but not pornographic) videos that has a reasonable monetization method? Ideally one that doesn't require a pay-per view or subscription approach (but even ones with a pay-per view/subsciption approach would be ok)?
(more likely than not it'll end up on pornHub, but we'll see. I'll keep y'all posted on the potentially exciting news!

Updates and late video post

2022-10-03T15:38:00.003-04:00

Hi all,

I posted a couple new vides on my PH and C4S sites. It was the one and only video where I have used my latex sheets. I thought they would be fun to play on, but quickly discovered that I need a lot more lube or something in order to make them fun, since they were so sticky to roll around on. I had the latex on latex issue, where the material just wants to grab onto itself.
It was a fun video and oddly comfortable outfit. Here are a couple pictures I snapped from the session I'm only sharing here:

As for other updates:
I still haven't been masking or wearing anything as of lately, partially because the summer has been too hot, partially because life has been especially busy, partially because I've been with my partner most of the time and she's still not aware of my interest in masking, and partially because of all the first 3 reasons I haven't felt deeply moved to mask.

I feel like in life I often postpone gratification and try to get things out of the way that I have to do, before doing the things I want to do. However, I've put masking down for so long that even when I've had spots of time to dress, I haven't out of exhaustion or stress. I don't think I'm the only one dealing with extra stress now with the economy and all the things that are going on in the world. However, I'll still stress about staffing issues, inflation, and all that fun stuff.
However, the GBP and Euro are much weaker compared to the USD than I've ever seen. So it's actually a good time to be buying up latex and rubber as an American. However, I'm trying to save up to buy a home, so I really can't rationalize paying for things that aren't absolutely necessary at the moment.

As for the video I've foreshadowed for the fall. I still haven't talked to my partner about it, however I have (finally) received some of the first few things I would need to make the video (I ordered them in May and they just arrived in September). So using these items with my partner, then leading to a conversation about making a video is next. If I'm really good about my time management, then I'll work out my outfit for said video in the coming months and share a sneak peek here. I just want to be vague, since I don't want to create expectations if the video never becomes a reality.

I think that I've been having more trouble considering making a x-dressing video, since I've been packing on more muscle from my pastime activities and it's making my overall shape less fem. Even from the pictures above, you can already see that I look a bit stockier and bulkier, which I'm not loving for masking. These pictures were also taken about 2 years ago, so the issue has gotten worse, however my Masc(uline) form has been improving, I think?

Strange insights:
I'm making a left-turn here, however this is maybe the only place where I can share about such subjects, so I'm going to.
I've noticed that my overall desire to mask has gone down, but I've also noticed that my libido in general has reduced as well. I'm not sure if it's aging or if it's something else. I think a part of me is getting lazy and pursuing the path of least resistance. With a partner that enjoys sex, I've come to realize I can have it basically whenever I like. So given that, I feel like the pressure valve for masking gets released frequently enough for me not to get to a place where I'm feeling like I need to mask.

I think that masking in the past for me was a slow build of wanting to have some sort of involved sexual experience, so after enough time with no sexual encounters I would get to a point where I'd be fantasizing about pulling on the rubber and getting that brain-breaking feeling when looking in the mirror and seeing someone else. Now that I'm having sex more regularly and having kinky sex more regularly, it's felt like my urge to mask often gets cut off at the legs before it becomes a situation where I feel like I need to mask. Also, when having sex, once it's done, it's done, while with masking after being "done" with a session there's a lot of undressing, cleaning, showering, hang-drying, re-organizing, re-powdering and conditioning. There's definitely a part of me that doesn't miss the clean-up, but certainly a part of me that misses the ritual (however, there is also a part that doesn't miss parts of the ritual, like the beginning and the end of a session).

The feeling hasn't gone away, however I do see an obstacle to my masking with my relationship and the real obstacle is the fact that I haven't shared this with my partner yet. I'm hoping to do this in stages, however I feel like I'm perpetually putting it off. However, she is planning on moving in with me relatively soon, which puts a time-limit on my window to share, since once she moves in I think she'll discover it soon enough. However, however, however, I'm trying to work through it.

I appreciate that the followers of mine that would demand or try to bully me for content have all dropped away, leaving the people I really want to be communicating with (y'all). So these are my plans and hopes, however, just like most things over the past 2 years, it's nearly impossible to predict how things will go. So good luck to everyone struggling with all the changes and economic issues going on right now and I hope to have more NEW (like actually new) content at somepoint this year. But later this week I do intend to post another video taken from the past, so keep a look-out for a new video (or two) within the next week!

COVID?

2022-08-06T15:40:00.004-04:00

Hi everyone! all 3 or 4 of you that are still checking this site.
I have a moment to write here because I came down with a flu this past week and I'm just starting to get on the other side of it now. I'm not sure if it's COVID or not, since I'm still too unwell feeling to leave my apartment to pick up a test. However, if I have COVID or not, it doesn't really matter since I'm doing better now and it's not as though there's some special COVID treatment that's any different than the common cold or flu. I can't tell if this is an irresponsible way to way to look at it or not, but I think it's more irresponsible to go out in the community, feverish and coughing, just to confirm that I have COVID or not. (if someone has a different point of view, I'd love to hear your rationale for it)

This summer has been very hot for the past couple months, and I don't have A/C, so the thought of masking has gone hand in hand with heat-exhaustion, so it hasn't been something that's been at the forefront of my mind.

I'm starting to get more of a specific and clear plan around future plans of putting out at least 1 video. It won't be until the fall though, partially because of the weather, partially because I ordered a couple things that I'll need for the video in MAY and it still hasn't come yet (ugh, supply chain issues and inflation has been a killer). I'm very excited and hopeful for this video, however there are a number of moving parts where I'm not sure if it'll actually happen or not, so I don't want to get people's hopes too high and never have it come through. So if/when it's coming out or if I make steps closer to making the video, I'll post about it here first, but again, it won't be until October at the earliest.

I need to go lay back down, but since I finally had a free moment to update, I figured I would. I'm hoping to have some sort of update, hopefully with some (older) pictures and maybe videos sometime in September.
Stay safe out there!

1/2 year update

2022-06-05T18:57:00.002-04:00

Wow, I really am having trouble anticipating my updates.
Well, nothing masking or fetish related has happened as of late. I am hoping to get my partner into some new and hopefully cute/fun outfits in the coming months. Long term I'm hoping to more and more reveal my male masking side to her, however I don't have any specific timeline for if/when this may happen.

I think most everyone here has been having a difficult couple of years.
I'm not complaining, but life has been pretty hectic during and now coming out of (or temporarily popping our heads up from) the pandemic. It's driven me to make more changes in my life, hopefully good ones! but ones that will almost surely sap my free time/ability to dress up and make content even more.

I hope when I get spots of free time in the coming months that I will look through + post more of my content.

I hope next time I have a more in-depth update for you all!

Lady F*ck

2022-02-24T19:30:00.002-05:00

I'm digging through some old videos and pictures and found one of a number of sets that I haven't uploaded yet. I just posted it up on my C4S site if you want to give it a look.

It's called "Lady F*ck"

I'll work on getting it up on PorhHub soon
-update-
Pornhub has put some additional restrictions and hoops to jump through for me to upload new videos. So this may be a longer process than expected. I also see that my sales aren't great on PH. So I may be using PH more like my youtube for free, non-sexual content.

quick update, quick dressing

2022-02-20T15:37:00.003-05:00

Last night I had the night to myself and tried some padding and an old catsuit. Unfortunately the catsuit didn't quite fit (I'm too tall? so maybe this will be the first thing on my list of things to sell, which is an XXL princess suit from libidex). I didn't have the time to get fully dressed, but wanted to snap a shot for everyone to see that I'm still thinking about dressing. I also have some time carved out in March where I'll be able to dress, which I'm excited about.

As for updates:
I'm still yet to enumerate the things that I plan to sell/give away. I hope that in March I'll get this worked out a bit better (since I'll need to put on my base layer of padding, then try everything on again to see what fits and what doesn't). From looking through what I have so far, I feel pretty attached to all the gear that I have, so there's a part of me that doesn't want to give any away. On the other hand, I do need to clear out space and there are some garments I just don't have any use for. So I am hoping to start compiling a bunch of gear that I can start selling/bundling online. Once I get it all squared away, I hope I can sell it all locally in one big dump, but will consider a piecemeal approach, but before I get too ahead of myself, I just wanted to say that my gear drop is in process and will likely be a semi-long-term project for me to figure out what to get rid of and what to save.

I do have some male-silicone gear that I think I will let go of, if anyone has any interest in that as well.

From dressing for the first time in maybe a year? maybe longer? I realized that I can still achieve the look that I like and my body transformation I thought I underwent really wasn't as noticeable as I had originally thought, which is good news for my dressing. Also from looking through my mask collection, it seems like my 'applied' version of my CreaFx masks have basically melted, so I again warn everyone, if you get a CreaFx mask and you want it to last, get the 'regular' version!

First 2022 update + unloading gear

2022-02-06T15:40:00.001-05:00

Hi all,
I'm so glad that there are still some people who check my site, even given the extraordinarily irregular update times. I wish I could promise that I would be more regular with my updates, but given my past of saying that and not following through, I won't try to predict when/how I'll be updating.

To the last commenter Mini88:
I understand your situation in your relationship and I wish you luck in the future with your partner or perhaps finding one where you can integrate masking more smoothly, I hope the same for myself!

This year my goals are very pragmatic in that I am hoping to get an additional license that will increase my earning power (some) with my job, upgrade my living situation, and to see how further blending my life with my girlfriend goes. For external reasons it looks like she'll be moving in with me in the near future and I am excited to take another step in our relationship, I am also worried about what that will mean for my personal life and even more so, my fetish/masking life. One of the major reasons I want to upgrade my living situation is so that when we're living together that I can provide a large enough environment for the two of us to have our own private space when we're both home. In an ideal situation this could help me have more time for my fetish, but would also mean that I would need to be more forthcoming about all my interests. Since I would rather her know what I was up to in private, rather than her stumbling across it on her own. This already has been an odd balancing act since we essentially live together and my place is busting with latex and silicone.

In preparation of this transition this year (GF moving in) I am already downgrading my gear. I've prepared a goodwill drop off for some of my vanilla women's clothing and can see in the coming months that I'll be trying to do the same with some of my silicone gear as well.
Dumping old clothes that I don't use anymore doesn't bother me so much, but tossing expensive (often rarely used) silicone items seems like a total waste to me though. So I'm still at least a month away from having a put aside items I would be interested in selling, but wanted to check with the community if people would be interested in this?

My main issue is that I would rather sell these things in person/locally (Washington state), but would be willing to ship them as well. I don't have anything set aside just yet, but am hoping that in the coming months will start listing things. At this time, it'll bring me to the issue of payment and hoping to do it anonymously. I used to have an anonymous paypal account, however that fell apart a decade ago, so I'm unsure now how to do anonymous payments. I would hope that people in the community interested in buying the gear would trust such a payment method, but we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there.

My apologies about not having anything so interesting to report, but I am trying to get a bit more regular with my updates.

2021 update

2021-12-04T17:03:00.003-05:00

I appreciate all of you who continue to view this site and particularly those of you who comment and e-mail. I also appreciate the fact that the community as a whole seems to be thriving, which makes me happy. Since I remember a time, years (decades?) ago where I felt like I was one of a very small number of maskers that were making themselves public out in the anonymous space of the internet. So it's good to see that this fetish is alive and well!

Updates:
Ironically, the relationship that had ended when I last posted started back up again. She came back to me apologizing for leaving me and I certainly didn't make it easy for her to come back, but she stuck it out and did. This has been a good thing for my personal life, however it's not to say that everything is perfect. This relationship starting back up is a central reason why I haven't been updating/dressing/posting, etc.

As for masking, I've done basically none in the past year and a half, apart from the daily donning of surgical masks, ugh. However, I have been wearing rubber (1-2x/month) with my partner. I've been introducing her to the fetish and she seems to be taking to it reasonably well. She seems to sometimes like it, other times is a little afraid of it.

whenever she dresses up, there's always a point where she says, "I look like a doll now," however I've never referred to the fetish as a 'doll' fetish, which I find sort of interesting that she makes that jump, because I think it's an accurate one.
It's been interesting to try to see the fetish through her eyes. She often asks me, "when you started liking latex, how was it?" or "what do you like about latex?" both are hard questions for me to answer, since leather/latex/PVC was my first love, even before I had my first crush. So to me it feels like she's asking a fish to describe how they figured out how to swim or what it's like to live under water, both seem completely inherent and in a way invisible to me. She asks because she says that she thinks that she's starting to like it, but somehow feels conflicted about it. We seem to have a communication breakdown around these conversations, but I'm glad that she's taking to it more than tolerating it.

A point of (almost) conflict that we often reach is that she says that she would like to wear latex out in public. I always have a negative response to this, which has been interesting to experience. I almost feel like being out in fetish-wear (for me) would be like walking around in public naked while reading my personal diary through a megaphone. So I have this feeling of, if she were to wear it out, it would be same experience, yet I'd have no control over it. It's odd that I'm such a fan of the material and fetish, yet once it leaves being behind closed doors, I somehow have a very different view of it. It goes from this ooey gooey lovely personal sexual thing to this sort of showy, 'try hard' or 'look at me, I need attention' thing, which I know it's not, but I can't seem to shake.
There's not final point here, just something odd I've been experiencing.

I'm hoping to further her experience in latex and down the road, am hoping to get her into sharing some things online, hopefully with the two of us together. If that does happen, I'll surely make this clear here and on social media (but who knows if this will ever happen).

I've been mostly talking about latex here and not so much masking.
Masking I've been having a harder and harder time rationalizing in my brain as something that can co-exist with a romantic relationship. I did have a partner briefly about 2 years ago who was interested in all my masking and gender things and we played together on a few occasions while masked/dressed. Of all the people I've been with, this was the person who I felt would be most accepting of my fetish. After our play sessions, it felt more and more like they were tolerating it, but not enjoying it.
It helped me see more clearly that masking to the masker is something inherently erotic (to some it may be more about identity, however I fall more in the camp of eroticism when it comes to masking), but to the non-masker, masking can be 'scary' or about how one cannot accept their identity. So whoever one's partner is, they are with you for YOU, not for some alter-ego. So it sort of feels as though it's viewed as a denial of self that encourages the thought of, "who is this person really?"

This is a major reason why I haven't tried introducing masking to my partner, because I don't want to scare her off and go from 10mph (latex) to 100mph (masking) too quickly, since she is still digesting latex/rubber. I honestly don't think that I need to mask with partners, I truly believe that for me masking is a solitary activity where I'm not consumed with the thoughts and considerations of others. However, there's always going to be a part of me that would like to blend these worlds, but every time I have, it hasn't quite gone the way I wanted it to.

I also think that even if one were to have a partner who was a good play-partner and into and up for all the rubber and masking activities, it still brings up the question of family and having children (which I have not yet). I know through much of my masking exploits I would get messages from men with families that would talk about how they lived vicariously through my videos and images. I always felt sort of bad for them, that they couldn't express their true nature in their lives. However now, I sort of envy them, ironically.

I can see how latex fetish can exist in a relationship, but I still see masking and hetero-romantic relationships being something very difficult to reconcile. It's not that I am no longer into the fetish, I certainly am! However, I don't see how I can blend the two worlds. I've also noticed that the more sex that I have, the lower my desire is to mask is. However, if/when I have some more time, I will endeavor to share more of my back-log of pictures and videos. If I have enough free time, then I can hopefully get to dress and mask again!

Thank you all to those reading, commenting, and messaging me. I do appreciate it a lot! Even if I'm very slow to respond