Making It Plain

Fragile: Handle with Care?

2025-10-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

There is something that has been brushed under a rug and calling the room cleaned for so long. Let’s remove the rug and see exactly what’s under there. It’s not going to be pretty so be ready to get your feelings hurt. It’s big girl panties time and broccoli really is good for you! Are you ready?

It is the older that must tell the younger what she needs to know in order to be successful, as it is written for the older woman to do (Titus 2: 3-5 AMP). It is also written in the Old Testament for the older generation to tell the new generation the mistakes of the forefathers so they would not repeat them (Ezekiel 18:19-20 AMP). This is wonderful advice, only if adhered to and understood. Also if the one giving the advice has good intentions and no malice in his/her heart. But how would you know? The One who created him/her would. Just ask.

Alright, moving on. Keep the aforementioned in the front of your mind, we will be returning to that. You see, and this might not just be me, but you as well or you've heard of it. I was told that as a girl to watch what I say to boys so not to hurt their feelings. Boys were not given the same advice. They were told to never hit a girl. Some might have learned about girls having feelings but it wasn’t that important. Boys were raised to be tough and to pursue tasks that require strength. Boys were taught to get into sports to get used to being hit and not cry. Get up, shake it off, and get them back. While girls were playing with dolls and ovens getting ready to be mothers and manage a household, boys were playing with army men and climbing trees to keep that rough exterior so they could be disciplined to do what is expected of them-support the family (1 Peter 3:7 AMP).

As we continued to be obedient, during that time, we watched the wars continue between countries and

policies being made that weren’t beneficial for everyone. The teens of the 60’s and 70’s began to not want what the adults wanted. Women didn’t want to stay at home and be subservient. Women began saying and doing whatever they wanted including being direct to men. No more egg shell walking because of their fragile egos. A man’s feelings weren’t as important to her as they had been. Corporate America and the economy as it had been were going to feel a change, a shaking, like it had never been shook before.

I was in a position at a senior community where I looked forward to hearing all sorts of stories and wisdom flow through the approximately 150 residents. Factoring in the crotchety ones that didn’t like people, the ones that couldn’t venture from their same circle of friends, the recluses, and those that liked gossiping, there were still a few that spoke when absolutely necessary. Those were the ones that held fast to wisdom. Unfortunately for me, they also held fast to their pearls and gave them to only those they could trust with them….yes, that is written too (Matthew 7:6 AMP). It was the things they didn't say when the once boys they had raised were coming to see their elderly parents as opposed to those that never did. The elderly men that treated their daughters like ladies and the sons that kissed their fathers without shame. The real relationships spoke volumes.

So in the church, where is the disconnect? Men were created first, right? When hearing a sermon of correction due to disobedience, the subject matter of the sermon is usually focused on women. Looking for the balance to happen where the men need to hear about their short-comings too, it doesn't happen. The expectation becomes less and less until it is non-existent. Why, is what I asked a wife of a pastor. It was like she knew I was coming. She answered, "because if the pastor redirected the behavior of the men, the few that attend services would stop coming." Can you imagine the look on my face when hearing that answer? It was like having a fragile ego is a good excuse. Or being ashamed of kissing your parents in front of others is alright, even as adults? What does that mean? Are you expecting the women to take over because it is what the pastors have been creating. Can you see that? If you ever knew what to pray for, there it is. How can egos be so fragile when there is a spiritual war? Why isn't this a thought when men are trying to find their good thing and it seems too hard to do? Why not think about how that ego has been coddled and made comfortable? It's that error that true believers have been fighting. The weapons of our warfare are mighty through the pulling down of strongholds (2 Corinthians 10: KJV). Where does a fragile ego fit in that scenario?

As disciples of Christ we are to be steadfast in the Word and disciplined to do as He has commanded. Isn't an ego just another secular word for the flesh (Romans 8:8-17 AMP)? If so, won't the flesh still do what it is created to do (Galatians 5:16-24 AMP)? Also instead of the women asking pastors why, let the men that know better stand up and protect the weaker sex that God fashioned to be the help that men need (Genesis 2:18 AMP). Its how iron sharpens iron that we may strengthen the body of Christ. Amen?

The Oxy-Moron of Them All

2025-10-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

I recall being immature in Christ when I heard the phrase, carnal Christian. It was something that caused an expression of concern because it is everything as believer we weren't supposed to be but also everything that we are. It was a rudimentary crude way of defining an oxy-moron. This phrase I heard came from a well known tele-evangelist to this day still uses that term. In the context that the evangelist was using it, I wondered if anyone else was perplexed. You see unless it is saturated in the Word, it is undoubtedly drenched in error (1 John 4:1-6 AMP).

To explain this point clearly and what it has to do with Christian singles is recollecting an episode of a well known but since cancelled television show, NYPD Blue. The episode is found in season 5 (aired in 1997, entitled Lost Israel - part 2), where there was a homeless mute man being used as a witness to a scene that Lt. Sipowicz was investigating. The only way the man could communicate to tell the detective what he needed was through the bible. The man would point at a particular passage and the detective would read it and become increasingly frustrated. Tried as he might Lt Sipowicz couldn't get what was right in front of his face. Annoyed at his attempts he threw the bible down and looked at his co-workers embarrassed at his unprofessional behavior but explained, "it has to be in you to understand it...it has to be in you." Personally, that was a powerful statement. How many of us have stumbled on the Word and used it out of context or not used it at all yet believing our actions are justified when saying it is all in love with absolutely no proof (Matthew 3:2-10AMP)?

What if your potential spouse decides to bend the rules because everyone else is doing it? Just because it is acceptable in society doesn't mean God is pleased with the behavior. Do you think modest apparel is just about the clothes you wear (1 Peter 3:2-4 AMP)? What difference does it make when you wear what makes you happy? What if you dressed modestly but drove a large expensive car? Does it make a difference? Why do you suppose God called for us to be moderately dressed? Can you be moderately dressed with large ornate jewelry, living in a mansion, fly a jet rather than using the airline with everyone else, and only associate with those that have the same income status as you (Philippians 2:1-5 AMP)? Does that question make you uncomfortable and challenges your principles? Is that being carnal or Christian because it cannot be both (Matthew 6:24 AMP)!

Celebrities had people thinking about being as skinny as Twiggy back in the 60's. Who ever

would have thought that when Queen Latifah asked in a movie if her butt looked big and the answer she received was yes, would start the movement to be comfortable in what ever size you are? It's just been recently, celebrities are back to making themselves as skinny as possible. Taking a weight loss drug that is for those suffering from diabetes 2; yet once known that weight loss is a side affect too, everyone jumped on the bandwagon to the point where there are shortages for those that really need it to the extent that other pharmaceuticals have made their own versions. Who did the tests for the copy cat drug as it was done on the first one? Is it safe? Once getting to the desired weight, can the consumer stop taking the drug or will he/she have to be weaned off? Will the weight come back? Who cares? Being bone thin is in! It's acceptable again...until it isn't. So what? It's not hurting anyone - right? Is that being carnal or a Christian (Ephesians 2:1-3 AMP)? Were you on that bandwagon (Matthew 7:13-13 AMP)?

The Word tells us if your decision is as the wind blows (whatever is trending), you are free to do what you will (Ephesians 4:14 AMP)...but a double minded man should not expect anything from the Lord (James1:6-8 AMP). When God says "all" in a particular verse, we run around the church praising God for the blessing. You know what I mean. The verse where God wishes above all things that you be in health and prosper even as your soul prospers (3 John 1:2 AMP). What did you hear in that verse? God would have you to prosper! It's what gets the emotions high. Look for that blessing! But when a verse is just as c0lear with receiving nothing from the Lord....do we understand what nothing means?

In the previous entry entitled, Presumed to be Fruitful, there are a series of questions that can be asked to your intended. It is for you to understand who you are really deciding to be your spouse for the rest of your life and if this person is there to help be a support or just weigh down all of your efforts until you quit. Doing things that have nothing to do with God is like carrying an unnecessary weight until you can't. Know that everyone that calls themselves a Christian, doesn't have it in them to be one. You know the tree by the fruit it bares. If the tree has no fruit, remember what Jesus did and move on (Mark 11:12-14; 11:20-21 AMP). There is no such thing as a carnal Christian. God isn't bending the rules for anyone. You cannot serve both God and mammon. If you hear a pastor or tele-evangelist tell you otherwise, pray for them and for you to find a bible-based, God-fearing clergy that is steadfast in the Word. Selah.

Everybody Likes a Clean House...

2025-10-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

...but everybody doesn't like to clean a house or keep a house clean. Do you know anyone like that? Is it you? There are varying depths of this topic and it's not like we haven't been here before. If you need to refresh your memory, please check out these entries here, here, and here.

As a Qualified Mental Health Professional, I have seen all sorts of people trying to convince the staff of what they are trying to do and failing miserably, yet they keep trying (some of them) until they get what they want. In this profession, it used to be when a patient has reached his/her bottom, they are ready for treatment in order to resume a life of being a sober yet viable portion to society. These days, one can apply for government assistance, be granted the benefits, and therefore never getting to the "bottom" which is necessary for many of those who are dependent on their drug or substance of choice. I have seen men who did not put forth nearly the effort for a job interview as they did to get those unearned benefits...and because of that, "the house" continues to be a mess. But don't be concerned; with those benefits, he/she can purchase a rug to cover it all up. By that, I mean to continue buying the drug of choice until the person ceases to exist. The enemy, the stronger one in this analogy, has done his job (John 10:10 AMP).

Have you ever spoke to someone with a grudge that has been held for so long because it was such a horrific thing that had been done the other person could never find it in his/her heart to forgive them (1 John 1:9 AMP)? Had you questioned their belief in Christ even after the explanation with the grudge or did you think they were justified in having it (1 John 2:12 AMP)? Years were not kind to him/her as they had forgotten important dates like birthdays and anniversaries but if you ask about a specific person or the date that such and such a thing that happened he/she can give you the time down to the minute and what every one had on and what each person said. That anger had taken residence for all of those years in that person's mind and brought friends and family (Matthew 18:21-35 AMP). What sort of spouse would you think this person would be to you? Would you minimize it down to everyone makes mistakes?

Keeping that grudge is not a mistake when you are a born again believer. Accepting Jesus Christ means you have confessed your faults and have accepted His forgiveness of your sins - those committed and those left to commit (the ones you know about and those that you don't). All bases are covered. He was stretched, beaten horribly, and spat upon with his disciples denying Him - and He did it all so that we could have a relationship with the Creator of all. Those sins confessed are as far from Him as the east is from the west. Rest assured you belong to Him. And so now, that old way of doing things had to go. It is nothing like Him (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP). You must be like your role model. God is good and a good Father; therefore, put away that old man and allow for everything to be anew. That old man is the grudge. That old man is reacting in the way that the world would say is appropriate but God would be displeased. That old man will have you suffering in consequences because you know better.

The Word asks the reader a question: who is stronger than the strong man (Luke 11:14-23 AMP)? Let's paint a picture: About 15-20 years ago, you had a relationship with someone you thought was the perfect person. She was the one! Unfortunately, you had some left over tendencies where you and she got pregnant but you proposed and she said yes. The baby came and you are doing all that a perspective husband can do to make sure she wants for nothing and that baby is well supported. One day when playing with the baby, you look and keep feeling like the baby has none of your features. The feeling bothers you so much, you get a DNA test done. Results come back. Your hunch is confirmed - baby is not yours. Confronting the mother - your intended, it takes some doing but she confesses that it is true. This is it. It's something that cannot be washed away with an apology. When going to work the next day, you tell her the engagement is over. It begins an argument that you aren't going to have but when you get back home at the end of the work day, all of your stuff is destroyed. Your pictures from years ago, keep sakes that you got from relatives that have since past away, are all torn or soaked in water. All of your clothes have been burned, bleached, or cut in little pieces. Taking deep breathes to calm yourself, the idea of calling the police is squashed by allowing your imagination to show how you can get revenge. Shaking that thought from your head, you call the cleaning service and begin to pray. Years later in a church service, the speaker asks about harboring any ill will towards anyone. You check yourself and think you feel fine; only, there has been this anger that has been living in your house for so long, you forgot about it. It makes you think it's a part of your personality. It tells you that its a feeling that gives you an edge, some character. But God reminding you about cleaning your house in that sermon (Luke 11:24-26 AMP). You know exactly what that is. Your answer to God is, "I got this. You have everything else in my life. I can handle this." Now, who is stronger than you? Is it God or that feeling telling you that it is giving you character? What else is it giving? Notice the rest of the verse. Who's stronger now?

Can you see how this can be confusing when entering into a relationship? A good rule of thumb when assessing your own life: if it isn't God, it isn't good. Nothing should be able to convince you of maintaining a residence if there is no scripture (chapter and verse) to substantiate it. It is the only way to keep a house (the individual) truly clean (3 John 11 AMP).

Meanwhile, Patiently Waiting

2025-09-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

The years continue to press on after a divorce. Bills still have to be paid and children have to be fed (1Timothy 5:8 AMP). Time can be your friend or foe. Your priorities change from keeping yourself "tight" to making sure the lights will be on another month along with running water. I recall looking at my broken nails after washing the dishes and contemplating if I could go another week without cleaning the refrigerator. I knew at one point in my life not having a manicure every 3 weeks was unheard of yet there I was with my hair pulled back in a pony tail, wearing an over sized sweatshirt, with jenky nails. Two other things I promised myself I wouldn't do. What has happened?

It's a question that is unnecessary to ask as maturity finds there are much more important things to do. Disregarding the condition of my manicure I delved head first into a career. It was as if all of the work, schooling, and sacrifice I did were for nothing. Why hadn't things happened as I hoped for them (Matthew 6:33 AMP)? Flopped on the couch in a self assessment journey and coming up on my high school reunion I knew I wasn't going to attend, my son tells me, "OK Mom, it's time for you to remarry."

Squashing all of the sarcastic answers that immediately came to mind, I thanked him for giving me his permission. When he was much younger he asked when I was going to start dating, I told him it was more important for us (including him) to do our jobs well and then we will see. That answer seemed to please him (his job was to do well in school and make his bed). But now he was concerned with my happiness and for me not to be alone as my senior years would swiftly approach. I appreciate my children and thank God for giving me the insight on how to raise them. Children truly are a blessing (Psalm 127:3 AMP).

In the purposes of dating for marriage, I looked at what my son asked objectively, those years ago. What

did he expect me to do? The man comes to find his wife and not vice versa. He knows that. In the mean time, I should be doing something - right? I wasn't motivated to go to the nail salon anymore. I felt like I could put my money to better use. So I learned to paint my own nails. I had to also study on how to maintain my own hair proficiently. Lastly, was getting this body into shape. Sigh...small steps. The rest of it, I already had a degree and was being encouraged to continue with my education (Hosea 4:6 KJV). I also learned about maintaining a business so when I am ready to quit working the 9-5, I can do so without any regrets (Proverbs 31:10-31 AMP).

The reason for this entry was the scripture about the parable of talents (Matthew 25:14-30 AMP). It was the last person that was also given a talent. He/she put the talent away so when the master returns, he/she could give the talent back because the fear was too great for him/her to waste or lose it. I meditated on that during that self assessment and who was I going to help after the divorce was final. I had 4 sons and a daughter to raise and they are to have families of their own. If that man never finds me, that's his issue with God (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). In the mean time, I have a duty to help someone, right? Volunteering is an avenue as well as being a philanthropist. There are ministries, hospitals, senior centers, and veteran communities where help is welcome. You see, never put yourself in a pigeon hole or allow for the enemy to whisper where you are falling short. God has a way for you too. Stop worrying about marriage and how much longer before he comes to find you. Keep your anointing fresh and be about your Father's business too (like Jesus). If you have children to raise, make them a priority for those children to have the best childhood that you can provide. You see, that is being a help too (Proverbs 22:6 AMP).

Exposed and Vulnerable

2025-09-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Warning: The reference to the movie, Indecent Exposure was first released in 1981. The rating now is NC-17. The rating then was PG with much of its content different than it is now. I recently tried to watch the movie again. I could not. I have an excellent memory. What I saw in the first 5 minutes, was not on the big screen back in the day. I apologize. If you choose to watch, it is at your own risk.

Let's paint a picture with you in it. The person of your dreams and you are married. It is everything you thought it could be and so much more. You laugh to yourself remembering how afraid you were to take that life altering leap down the aisle. But now you have matured and know better ...only there is one little snafu that you didn't think was going to be an issue. The finances. What is happening? You were fine with your budget being single. The person you married was doing well too as a single individual. Together, it should be better, right? Instead of worrying, you know to pray and stand on the Word of God. It has worked in the past, it will work now too. Here's the thing...the righteous are like trees planted by the living waters (Psalm 1:3 AMP). There is a supply always for the righteous is what that verse means to me. There is also an arborist, a tree specialist. When he is engrafting a branch to become one, he peels back some of the bark and exposes the rawness and places it with another, puts salve around both parts and wraps it tight so not to get infected. You would think, if you were a tree, that scraping the bark wouldn't feel too good before the salve takes full affect or before the vine and branches start working in one accord. What do think that looks like in your day-to-day practices? Think about it while continuing to read. Understand that everyone doesn't comprehends the application of the Word, sometimes it looks like this:

Every now and again, I watch old movies and some fairly new ones. In choosing wisely, there are usually trailers, previews, or knowing that certain actors have boundaries are always good monikers too. There was one movie I recall from back in the day starring Robert Redford, Demi Moore, and Woody Harrelson entitled Indecent Proposal (1993). In it, the characters Diana Murphy, played by Demi Moore, and David Murphy, played by Woody Harrelson, are newlyweds and still in the butterfly, eye twinkling stages of their relationship. John Gage, played by Robert Redford, is a wealthy entrepreneur looking to see what he can get into that is entertaining to him. Profitability would just be an added bonus. Gage is attracted to Diana and let's her know it in so many words. When he finds that she is married, he speaks to her husband and propositions him to get his permission to spend some time with his wife. Before Harrelson allows the insult to consume his character and the integrity of his marriage, Gage speaks a large sum of money to quench his indignation. Only God could muster back up the justifiable anger when David is humbled by what Gage has so much of, David allows the proposal residence....and then he went home and told his wife what happened and what was said, she reacted almost the same way and then the amount was spoken. Consideration of the unthinkable was at home now (Luke 11:21-22 AMP).

There have been too many times while reading the scriptures, where I have wondered of the impossibility for people to think the way that they did in biblical times. Who would disregard a God who has shown Himself to be who He is and yet we see this daily in these days and times. Being in a marriage truly makes life easier if you would allow for God to be who He is. He created us all and chose for you to be here at time such as this. He created you specifically to be a help to someone in particular (Genesis 2:18 AMP). If you know His voice, He will direct you where you should be to be found by that particular person (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). Ruth had to follow Naomi because Obed needed a particular wife. King Ahaserus acted in a specific sort of way and needed the specific gifts of Esther. Only Joseph could believe his wife (Mary) above all others had to be chosen to give birth to our Lord and Savior. That is some serious directing. Why would it be different for you?

Nevertheless, also in those directions, there was Abraham and Sarai, Naomi and Elimelech, also David and Michal. Those were some foolish times and notice the lack of relationship with God in each of those incidences. Wouldn't Abraham know not to lie (Genesis 12:10-20 AMP)? Wouldn't Elimelech understand there are consequences for disobedience (Ruth 1:1-5 AMP)? How could Michal shame David for praising God when she has more than likely seen him do this in the past (2 Samuel 6:16-23 AMP)? Circumstances follow stupid decisions and silly words. Abraham was going to be killed. Elimelech and all of his sons did die, and once David told Michal off, we never read about her again nor did she have children.

There is this street preacher on Youtube that receives so much ridicule for preaching the good news among the least likely people to listen. Yet, it is where God has led him and he shows the insults and unnecessary yelling he receives for telling about the goodness of God. One woman said she had become an atheist because she couldn't believe a loving God would allow such horrible things to happen in the world. When the street preacher was trying to explain that we have free will to do as we would like, she wouldn't allow him to complete his thought. It was what they all needed to hear to understand the state of this world is because of our actions, our words, our contemplation of unrighteous thoughts and allowing for money to be the root of what it does (1 Timothy 6:10 AMP).

In that movie, Indecent Proposal, there is a line that was so disturbing to me yet it culminated the entire premise of the film and why I wrote this entry. Gage had offered David a certain amount of money in order to spend time with his wife. David replied, "are you crazy? What kind of man do you think I am?" Gage's answers, "we know what kind of man you are, we are just negotiating the price." David became quiet and sullen. Had he not considered doing the unthinkable, there would have been no purpose for the movie. Gage used the word, we. Who was he talking about with only him and David in the room? He was telling David that Gage already knows what kind of man he is and David does too. He wasn't fooling anyone but Diana. It reminds me of the serpent and Eve. The serpent spoke to the weaker one of the couple (1 Peter 3:7 AMP). Is this what Gage did in the movie?

Please understand, in your most vulnerable state is when the test will come. Know that God tempts no man to do evil (James 1:13 AMP). He does test the heart of every man (1 Thessalonians 2:4 AMP). And shouldn't we be assessing our own behavior? Shouldn't we be crucifying the flesh daily so not to fall into temptation (Galatians 5:24 AMP)? If you were to write what you did through out the day, would the majority of the time be on what God called you to do or is it something you wanted to do? The look on the face of David, in the movie, when knowing he wasn't fooling anyone with that country bumpkin act, he just wanted the money so the struggling wouldn't be so hard. Did you ever consider, what is the purpose of the struggle? Would we appreciate where God brought us from and what He has been doing all along had there never been a struggle (Proverbs 30:8-9 AMP)? Would that expression on David's face when Gage let him know that he wasn't fooling anyone be the same image shown on you or the image God said He made you to be (Genesis 1:26 AMP)? Would we be the righteousness of God through Jesus Christ without the struggle? Selah.

Presumed to be Fruitful

2025-09-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

I believe the Lord had me write this blog in 2008 because it was going to take more research to finish the book I completed some years ago. The necessity of the blog started when I was at the library designing the cover because at the time I didn't own a computer, and a woman saw the title and asked if I was going to write a chapter on co-habitating. How many times have I used the word, gob-smacked? Clearly, along with the title of it being for singles, there was the word, Christian. Did I miss something? I paused before answering her with a resounding, of course. Then into prayer I went because how does one write about something that is clearly oppositional to what we know?

So there I was staring at the title and having no clue what to write in that regard. Then I remembered the 23rd Psalms where the Lord prepared a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Aside from the questions I had asked previously (Why? Why God, why?), I needed to know where did these enemies come from and why are they in my presence?

Alright, and down the rabbit hole we go. You see, the bible is written for believers. The unbeliever reads the scriptures to dispute them, not for guidance. The pastor shepherds all who come and have ears to hear. There are various maturation levels sitting in the pews, including those that still need to be delivered from the things that are displeasing to the Lord. Have you met a brother/sister in Christ that didn't like you for no reason at all? How about those that are dealing with jealousy/or envy? And that's how you know that there are enemies sitting right next to you in the congregation. Do you recall how we fight them? We use our weapons of warfare that are mighty through the pulling down of strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 AMP). You pray unceasingly and bless those that spitefully use you (Luke 6:28 AMP). You love your enemies and agree with them (Matthew 5:43-48 AMP). Does that seem like a bit much?

How can you sharpen iron with those that have the fruit of the Holy Spirit when you can't pray for those that haven't? Where is the love? Love has not been defined well enough for people to understand that it is necessary in order to walk this spiritual walk. When God gave His only begotten Son in order for the relationship between man and God be restored, that is love. When Jesus died for the sins of the world, that is love. What could we possibly do in comparison? What greatness do we have absent of Him to do such selfless acts? Answer, we cannot. It is through Him that we can be holy for He is holy. It is through Him that we are able to pray for someone that meant hurt, harm, or danger to us. It is through Him that we begin to understand that our finite ability is made through the One who is infinite. God is love. If there is no understanding of Him, he/she cannot tell you how much he/she loves you in a relationship. This is the rock by which the church is built. This is the rock by which relationships can grow. This is the rock by which communities thrive. Can you not see this?!!

A man had an extramarital affair and confessed to his wife, he adds, "it didn't mean anything. It was just sex." Initially upset, the wife forgives her husband for his indiscretion. When asked how could she forgive him for what he has done? She answers, "because I see that he loves me and he is a good father to our children." This scenario has played repeatedly over the years in various sitcoms, talk-shows, and dramatic movies; however, in the life of a Christian, is there truth in any of it?

A man and his wife seeks marital counseling from their pastor. The man is upset because he has married a woman who was doing what he liked sexually but now that they are married she had confessed to her husband that she no longer likes doing that particular intimate act. The husband is angry because he has married this woman for life and knows that what he married her for, he will not be getting. Where should the counseling begin? Who is in the wrong? Where is the love in this scenario?

A husband and wife wake up together at the same time and begin their day. He goes in the shower and she goes to the basement to work out in the home/gym. After 30 minutes, she gets the coffee pot started just before getting in the shower and her husband gets dressed for the day. By the time she comes back to the kitchen fully dressed, he is sitting at the table going through his planner on his phone and sipping on his first cup of coffee. There is a ping on his phone. He gets up, grabs his coat and heads for the door, before closing it behind him, he peers over his shoulder to see his wife sipping on her coffee and laughing at something she saw on social media. He hollers back, "have a good day." She mumbles, "uh-huh." It's their routine. Is it faulty? Can a stronghold grab ahold? Why or why not? Where is the love?

Technology has made vast improvements for medicine to be able to pinpoint a specific diagnosis, for society to make appointments easier, banking more efficient, pay our bills and shop more conveniently. However in this new age of quick efficiency comes the predators that wait for you to be distracted. Assuming that the improvements come safe guarded, you would be mistaken. With every effort that makes life easier would mean for the believer to be even more vigilant with maintaining the whole armor, be watchful, and stay prayerful. Just as the enemy does his job, the Holy Spirit is there as well.

There are too many entries in this blog to not know better before getting into a partnership,

friendship, or leading into a long lasting intimate relationship (marriage). These next few entries are to understand that every tree bares some sort of fruit. Know the difference in the fruit you desire. In the scenarios above, the man who had the extra-marital affair and dismisses the questionable behavior with, it was just sex and it didn't mean anything. If it means nothing, why do it? Wouldn't that be a waste of time? If it means nothing why is it such a necessity in a marriage? If it means nothing, why not do this openly for all to see? If it means nothing would the same attitude exist for him if she did the same thing? To the wife, it is wonderful to have a forgiving heart; however, do not dismiss the behavior without serious discussion. If the behavior is dismissed, are you devaluing yourself (Psalm 139:14 AMP)? If not, are you thinking of yourself to high like the last days where men are described as being lover's of self? Also, and it being the most important question, if he loves his wife (as Christ loves the church), would he have had an extra-marital affair? And if he is a good father, that would be in the category of being a good role model. Would you want your children to this same thing to their spouses? This is not being a good father and he does not love his wife. Can you see that?

The upset man seeking marital counseling because his wife doesn't want to participate in an intimate act that she used to do before marriage. How would that counseling session begin? Did you just accept Jesus as Lord yesterday? How long have you been a believer? Since childhood? Seriously? Both of you? Where in the bible does it tell us to try out the sex before marriage (1 Corinthians 7:5 AMP)? Huh? When did the definition of love (God) tell you to do that? Now let's figure out who are you mad at? God? Her? You? Choose. Wait, I thought you already did (Proverbs 18:21 AMP). You said you are a believer - right?

The last scenario where there seems to be time for everything else but each other. Wasn't this the same behavior when the two were single? If that is true, can one or both be distracted? No, not even for a moment to contemplate or to fantasize? Be honest, because it is what you did when you were single. When has she done anything with her husband and him being the head of her, when was the last time he prayed for her, blessed her, made sure she felt secure and safe? When he does, it is reciprocated. She couldn't help but do the same for him. Don't believe me? The Word says otherwise. Who are you going to put your trust in (Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP)?

The Differences of Apples and Oranges

2025-07-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

When studying the Word of God, we initially tend to gloss over matters we don't like to contend with and glean the "name it and claim it" stuff. God wishes above all things that we be in health and prosper even as our soul prospers is one of those claim it, run around the church, and know God loves me too kind of verses. We walk out of one of those sermons stating, "ooh, he sure did preach this morning!"

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, we don't hear too often in the Sunday sermons (Ephesians 6:4 AMP). Husbands love your own wife, isn't one that gets too many jump for joy portions of the service (Ephesians 5:28-33 AMP). Yet there they are for the believer to know there is a guide to life teaching us how to behave and live appropriately. The thing is, it doesn't make the flesh feel too good. It doesn't leave room for error (Matthew 24:4 AMP). It does give direction for the believer to be strong and continue to be blessed. But that takes maturity for those to not only hear that serving of the Word but to understand it as well.

Children do the same thing when given a balanced meal for dinner. There sitting before them is a colorful plate with meat, a side dish, and the vegetable. My parents told my siblings and I to eat the vegetable first. We thought they were being mean having watched them eat whatever they wanted first. It was later did my mother tell me that if she allowed us to eat the meat and side dish first, we would be too full to eat the vegetable and to her, the vegetable was the most important part of the meal. For us, the vegetable was the most icky part, most of the time. My mother would find molded, smelly, hairy surprises wrapped in a napkin weeks later behind the hutch or tucked away under the table in a nook or cranny. We didn't know how beneficial a green vegetable could be until consequences came after the hidden discoveries.

Once we become adults, there should be things that aren't necessary to repeat. No one tells a full

functioning, independent adult, that he/she must be fully dressed before going out in public. No one tells an adult that it is one foot in front of the other to walk appropriately. No one tells an adult to listen before speaking and that it is rude to interrupt someone in mid-sentence. It is automatically understood - right? Is it necessary to still redirect adults to eat appropriately for optimum health? To exercise for their own benefit? To flee fornication for physical, emotional and spiritual health? To abide by the golden rule (Matthew 7:12 AMP)? Did I go too far? Is there still those that need the guidance? When does it stop? When is the believer mature enough and understands that peculiar treasure are those that comprehend the Word of God and are walking accordingly (1 Peter 2:9 AMP)?

Paul asked the question, are we going back to the milk of the Word (Hebrews 5:12-13 AMP)? Why would he ask such a thing? Is it because he was frustrated teaching the same lessons over and over again or was it because when speaking to the congregation and them asking him questions? In order to ask the questions there has to be some sort of understanding of what has been taught. Paul met some people of Corinth at the altar doing leud and lascivious acts because they wanted to believe it was apart of their religious practice. Where did they get that lesson from? Have we done the same thing saying that it was in the name of Jesus when there is no such verse substantiating the claim?

Often I refer to the 23rd Psalm because it is a verse not only for the lay-persons but for those in the 5-fold ministry. There is a description that the Lord prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies (Psalm 23 AMP). First meditate on the Lord is preparing a table for me!!! Now, let's see who is there besides me and the Lord...my enemies? I wondered why would my enemies be there with me and the Lord. Where did they come from? Why do they expect the same treatment as the Lord is giving to me? The Word says that I am the righteousness of God, no evil shall befall me, no plague come nigh my dwelling (Psalm 91:9-10 KJV). So what business do my enemies have there with me and the Lord?

Here we are in the last days where what used to be common place isn't anymore. People aren't as considerate as they used to be. It would seem everyone calls themselves Christian but the practical application is not there. We can see it in the disposition and in their families. How are you faring? Can we see the fruit you are baring (Matthew 7:16-20 AMP)? Is it good fruit? In the next few entries, we are going to make plain the fruit of the Holy Spirit and why it isn't one of those run around the church kind of sermons that people talk about for months to come. It is a necessity to practice all 9 fruits to be about our Father's business in the most optimum way (Galatians 5:22-23 AMP). In the Christian singles blog, hopefully you can see the importance of knowing what tree you have attached yourself to. If this is a quandary, please read the entry, Hitching Your Wagon.

The Good Old Days?

2025-07-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

The reality of what the church is as opposed to what it has become, has been disappointing. Watching the wrong things is the cause of trying to find other ways to keep abreast of God's Word; but then, as we all do, the recollection of the scriptures force some changes to be made as we continue walking out this journey the best way we know how.

How many times have we spoke the wrong things not realizing it is opposing the Word of God? But because it is the trend and most people say it, there can't be anything wrong with that? Right? This has been written in this blog before for us all to watch the words we speak because its like seed sown into ground about to reap a harvest that you can rejoice over or grieve about it later. For instance, if you'd like friends, to count yourself as being friendly (Proverbs 18:24 KJV). This is simple to incorporate in your everyday lives. Yet it would seem there are those that believe without effort, things should just happen. Life should be good because...it just should be. But when it doesn't happen the way one would think, making no effort on his/her part, we tend to reminisce about the simpler time when there was respect, consideration, happiness, responsibility, and accountability. Ah, the good old days!(Ecclesiastes 7:10 AMP)

For over 12 years I was employed in a senior community where the ethnicities were diverse enough to experience the wealth of information the collective of over 150 citizens had from their travels, their relationships, the struggles they have had over the years, and the oppression many of them overcame to be where they are now. I saw how their families were attentive to their needs or not and how that sort of attention or the lack thereof affected them. When it was their time to release all of that wealth of information, they didn't. Not to anyone that I know of. They were friendly enough just not forthcoming with any information that could quite possibly make if easier for anyone else.

It was baffling as to why an elderly person wouldn't want to make their knowledge known. It

was bordering on just being mean. But then it reminded me of a teacher replying to a question a student had in a high school chemistry class. The teacher said, "ah honey, I got mine, you better get yours the best way you know how." What kind of way was the student supposed to be getting it? She is in class. Isn't that what she is doing by asking the teacher the question? What is the problem? Why would a teacher not find it necessary to answer a student's question - to do her job? When did the shift happen from the good days to back in the day when it was good?

Well let's sieve through it in the "burden is easy and yoke is light" way. Remember when you were a child (1 Corinthians 13:11 AMP). There was nothing you really had to do but to eat your veggies, obey your parents, and just have some fun...everyday all day. For the most part eating your veggies and obeying your parents almost seemed like a game too. As you became older you learned that eating your vegetables were good for you. It strengthened your immune system and kept you from all sorts of illnesses. Obeying your parents were the building blocks of having respect for others as well as for your self. You learned about family values and frowned at those that didn't. Obeying your parents assisted you in being responsible and accountable. Doing those little simple things aided you in the next steps in your journey to being a viable and successful adult.

So, it would have also been in your best interest for you to be raised up in the admonition of the Lord because we know that man cannot live by bread alone but by every Word that proceeds out of the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4 AMP). When this happens, then the verse of raising a child in the way he should go and when he gets old he will not depart from it, makes more sense (Proverbs 22:6 AMP). Using the bible as a manual for life assists in every aspect and in every question man has. Why does he think that the bible contradicts itself? Because he wasn't raised in the admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 AMP). Because he never took the time to meditate on the Word day and night (Joshua 1:8 AMP). If he had, he would understand that with each book there is growth. Even Paul said, would that you could be more like me but then when he understood and became more mature in Christ, he said, would that you could be more like me as I follow Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1-3 AMP).

There is a reason God tells us not to look at the old days as if they are better than the days you are living in the present. You were created for such a time as this (in the present). God has described you (us) as being the light of the world and salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16 AMP). It is known to be good because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. This means what makes it better now than it was then is you knowing, understanding, and being in Christ. This could not have been done while you were a child ignorant in the things of Him, immature in chewing the meat of the Word, and inexperienced in wielding the sword of truth.

These days being more than a conqueror is the only way you can enjoy all that He has in store for you. He wishes above all things that you be in health and prosper even as your soul prospers (3 John 1:2 KJV). How then can those old days be better when the old has past away and behold all things become anew (2 Corinthians 54:17 AMP)?

Ugly To The Bone

2025-07-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

In my first year of college, I was employed by a small company who was hiring the local residents. My sister and I were hired. During the introduction to the process, the employer tried to be more engaging telling us about himself and his family. He had a picture of his first born toddler son on his desk. He turned the picture around for my sister and I to see it better. If there was ever a bigger reason to practice the masked face when horrified, that was the time. Never would I ever call a baby ugly mostly because I had never seen one before and the next reason is that babies are innocent and fully dependent on the adults caring for him/her. However, that particular day, my sister and I reacted solely from immaturity. No sounds of horror just the reflex of the jump /draw back spoke volumes. That was years ago and we believed he grew up to be a handsome young man or one who drew on all of his other attributes.

Those other attributes are what this entry is about. By now, if you have read at least 5 posts, you will know this blog is saturated in God's Word. And the ideas of what we've believed marriage was, comes from the popular teachings that have nothing to do with scripture. When pastors rally more on looks being the important thing when dating because one must be attracted to one another to love one another, know that is what you are basing your relationship on. You say you love God but have never seen Him (1 John 4:20 AMP). Could you have a conversation with someone you don't find attractive? If not, if you were in a relationship with someone who is attractive and you find the personality is everything you hate. Do you maintain the relationship?

This reminds me of Abigail in the bible who was married to Nabal (1Samuel 25:2-41 AMP). He was very rich with a large parcel of land where he kept many of his livestock. David, the king was coming through with his army of soldiers. They had protected Nabal's servants while working and David asked if he could get some water and feed his men. Nabal said no and told him and the army to move on. The bible describes this man as evil. Yet his wife came when her husband wasn't looking to give David and his men some supplies. Later, Nabal died in his wickedness. When Abigail considered marrying Nabal, do you think he didn't show signs of being that man he became? What was her criterion for accepting his proposal. Can you see this currently happening? The bible does not describe Nabal as ever being good looking, tall, or even well built. He is described as wealthy and evil. Was he always this way? Did Abigail

see Nebal's personality or all of the wealth first?

Jacob saw Rachel and immediately knew, (Genesis 29:9-31 AMP) she is the one. When Jacob came to Laban's residence, he came with the intention of marrying Rachel. The scripture says he loved her so much. But when marrying, there was a veil placed on the bride. Jacob didn't know who he was marrying. When it was all said and done, he found that he married the older sister. Can you imagine his disappointment? But why didn't he recognize his bride without seeing her face Why didn't he know that the height wasn't quite right? The way she smelled or sounded wasn't the woman he knew? After realizing what happened, he treated Leah as his wife. He didn't love her. He was biding his time with her until he could have the one he truly loved. Why didn't he recognize the love Leah had for him? Why couldn't he see it even after she bore him 12 sons? Reading how Jacob felt about Leah, how did she look to you? The bible doesn't describe her as ugly, overweight, or even having a bad disposition but Jacob didn't love her. Does the scripture describe Rachel in a better light? So what was the difference and why couldn't Jacob get passed it?

If you knew it would be better for you to marry someone with a good outlook on life but looked mediocre, could this person have a chance with you? There are many beautiful people that have celebrity status. When we didn't know better and someone asked who our celebrity crush is, before answering everyone starts with a smile because the fantasy becomes alive. In our minds, this perfect person is just that. He/she could do no wrong. Morris Chestnut, Blair Underwood and John Stamos were the lookers in my day. In my mind, they couldn't have a bad day and their words are as smooth as buttah. But what is the reality?

A pastor's wife was sitting with a panel of women answering questions from an

all female congregation. The question about having a certain disposition when you don't "feel" like it came up. The pastor's wife said when the times are good, at the end of the day she goes to the bathroom and records all of the fun times and romantic things that she experienced. She smiled while she described the day into the recorder and continually added to the recording with each and every good day. But when the days where the pastor's wife was irritated or felt like she wasn't appreciated yet her husband was feeling sexually aroused and she knew she couldn't deny him, she would go in the bathroom and get the tape player hidden under some towels to listen to those "good times" in order for her to be the dutiful wife. Is that reality? How ugly through out the day did it need to be before getting the tape recorder? Will that always work? Can you listen to the same recording or will you have to keep adding to it? If that's true, do you think she is expecting more bad days than there are good? How can this be if the two of them are good looking people?

This topic isn't new to this blog. There is an entry entitled, When Does Beauty Fade? and another entitled, Where Beauty Fades Real Attraction Begins and a third called Warts and All These 3 references challenge the reader to ask what is the basis by which you can call this other person the perfect mate. Is the foundation of the relationship built on a rock or sand? The 3 entries, like this one, capsulates where man is today: in the last days and lover of self. As believers, we continue to walk by faith and keep aware of our short-comings. We know that iron sharpens iron. So if you are not sensitive to the things that you have minimized in your life, make sure you are praying that your brother or sister in the faith aren't falling short either. God is looking for the image He created in the beginning. Remember in the end Nebal's heart failed him; how is your heart looking?

It’s The Investment

2025-06-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

When making a financial investment, one considers many factors but the main component is to make more money. The intention on the investment has been planned for there to be a greater return whether it be financially, intellectually, or for the sake of a brighter future. One who invests has done enough homework to be confident in knowing that he/she is secure in allowing that substantial amount of money to no longer be as liquid as it once was. Because of their due diligence, there is no anxiety and no checking every 30 minutes to see if it’s matured or not. It’s a long termed investment; therefore, he/she can relax in knowing that the plan will be manifested and the capitol will be accessible soon enough (Proverbs 29:18 AMP).

This entry came out of a short clip from the Steve Harvey Show. He has moments in the program where he allows the audience to ask life questions. Most of the questions are about relationships. This particular audience member asked about her 6 year relationship she has had with her boyfriend. She was getting exasperated with him not making a more long termed commitment. His excuse, according to her, was that he wanted to be more financially stable before getting married. Steve Harvey asked the woman what did she want. She answered that she would like to be married. He asked her if she was happy. She responded, no. He asked then what was she doing? Her expression seemed to be saying that she knows the answer; she said, I know but I made this 6 year investment and I don’t want to start all over with someone new. Steve Harvey said he understood, but if she decides to stay with this guy, does she want 6 more years of what she has been getting (Proverbs 12:15 AMP)?

There was a young Christian woman with her Christian boyfriend. It was their first relationship and both

had talked about marriage. The young woman loved the man that would soon be her fiancé only, she had issues with him not knowing to hold the door open for her whether it’s a building, car, or the front door of the closet. She had a talk with him. His response was not knowing what the big deal was. She reconciled with the matter believing he hadn’t been raised with certain manners and it would take time or she could just let it go. But every time she saw her father be a gentleman with her mother, she didn’t want to have the special detail in their relationship overlooked. It was important to her. Why didn’t he see it as being important too? After 2 short years in the relationship, she saw that he had not picked up on her cues no more than he did when they were first dating. She considered taking a break from the relationship but the thought came, what if he finds someone else and does for her what she has been trying to teach him all of this time? He could be on the brink of getting it! The young woman did not want to discard her investment, so she waited until it was no longer a concern. You see, he invested too.

This blog is for those believers that never consider those small foxes spoiling the vine. There are naysayers that make comment of being too picky; yet if you ask those same naysayers, they would tell you how they choose a car, a house, and any other major investment. They scrutinize, they ask questions, they watch, and even test because they wish to get their money's worth. So how are you going to be cavalier with something that is as life altering as marriage? Will you be accepting red flags, bumps, glitches, wrinkles, and spots along the journey of dating? When you know the bottom is falling out, are you just going to watch it fall? Are you looking for a project or do you like one of those turn keys and it's perfect? What was the vision? What have you been planning?

There was an episode of a sitcom from the 90's, F*r*i*e*n*d*s. In it, the character Ross Geller, finds a woman he is interested in dating. He tells his friends that she is perfect for him because they have so many interests in common. One evening, she invited him to her apartment for a "nightcap". He told his friends that finally they will be an exclusive couple, yet when he entered his love interest's apartment, garbage was everywhere. He couldn't understand how a woman so beautiful and perfect for him could be so icky. He went back to tell his friends. His guy friends advised for Ross to stop being so picky. She's gorgeous! What's a little garbage when it comes to love? Ross agreed. His friends were right, he said to himself. The next time Ross and his beautiful companion were out on a date and she invites him to her apartment, he's going to over look the mess and put his full concentration on her. Only when they started to make out, his hand clung to a slice of bologna found in the couch. His other hand under the throw pillow got what looked like chocolate syrup on it, but Ross's expression would have the viewer to believe it wasn't chocolate. Still Ross persisted with making out with his love interest until the crumpled potato chip bag started to move on it's own. Ross picked up something to kill what was underneath. The woman gasped until Ross looked inside it to see an injured rat. His date screamed calling the name of her pet. Ross allowed for that reaction to make his mind up for him.

How much of your time are you willing to invest in a relationship? When do you say when? Are you afraid to let it go even when your peace is compromised? Is it more important that friends and family are pleased that you finally have someone in your life too? Does a relationship need to be worked on even before vows have been exchanged? If you have worked on yourself and the significant other has done the same, should two people considerate of the other, still have a hardship and struggle in a marriage (Amos 3:3 KJV)? Have you spent the due diligence in the relationship as you would in purchasing land, a business, a car, a diamond ring, a house (Luke 6:46-49 AMP)? Where are your priorities and when did you fit God into any of them?

Psst, Come Here!

2025-06-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

Back when cartoons were hilarious, the villainous character would be leaning against a building just inside a dark alley watching for unsuspecting people. Once he found that "patsy", (as they would call them), he'd take the tooth pick out of his mouth and with a throaty voice speak the title of this entry then a head wag for the said "patsy" to come toward his direction to get the something he doesn't want anyone else to hear and for the "patsy" not to miss out on. It is always an item that would benefit the skulking character for the "patsy" to purchase it. It is why it has to be a secret so no one would be the wiser and convince the "patsy" when it is almost always a scam.

From insider trading to purchasing a prime piece of land a stone's throw away from swamp territory and everything in between. It is up to the buyer to do his/her due diligence with a proper investigation in order to make a quality decision to invest or not. There have been one too many times where I have had this discussion with clients so giddy to be in their own home. They assume the person selling them the property doesn't have any ulterior motives. Afterwards, I receive pictures of cracks in the foundation that is followed through out the property or chalky lines along the baseboards of the basement indicative of water issues. After the fact are woes that could have been avoided.

This is also true in relationships. Not just the ones that are eventually walking down the aisle saying the

vows that end until death do you part, but the kinds that deal in business, friendships, social gatherings, meeting people for the first time and the like. For the most part, the best thing to do when meeting for the first time is stay quiet and read the space that you are in. People give themselves away in a few hours. It's not hard, if you have practiced patience. There are those that only have the intentions to be leeches; whether it is to gain information from someone or constantly needing to borrow because they never have enough or has learned what to say to be convincing. The half truth tellers are those that don't like being called liars because they did articulate a portion of the truth (John 8:44 AMP). The tiny bit that was kept from being heard, was intentional. There was an intent to deceive, the very definition of a liar. The manipulator is a combination of a leech and a liar with some smooth talking skills to make it all pretty (Matthew 24:4-5 AMP). It's like taking some poop, putting it in a box, wrapping it up with a bow so that the unsuspecting party believes he/she is really getting something nice. The description kind of reminds you of some relationships you have had, doesn't it?

Why would anyone want to do this to anyone else? What happened to the golden rule?

It reminds me of the verse, the poor you will always have (Matthew 26:11 AMP). Who do you think the gospel was referring? He wasn't talking about the unbeliever. Pause and think on that calmly. If there was ever a verse that is frustrating down to your toes, it is that one. Why would we always have the poor? Because sin is cyclical. God told the previous generation to tell of the mistakes of your forefathers so that the mistakes would not be repeated (Joel 1:1-3 AMP). Did that happen? Today, the older is supposed to tell the younger because the older generation would want the best for the next generation. Does that happen? In the last days, the Word tells us Mother against daughter and father against son (Luke 12:51-53 AMP). The result is that the poor continues. The good from that is, giving to the poor is as of lending to the Lord (Proverbs 19:17 AMP). Selah.

There was a young married couple getting their new family settled in their new home. Going to the grocery store, the young woman came upon a man asking for any spare change. The young woman opened her wallet with barely enough to purchase her groceries, but gave what she had aside from her grocery money to the man asking. When her husband knew of what his young wife had done, he verbally reprimanded her for giving when they were barely scraping by. This couple believes and walks in the admonition of the Lord. What do you believe the appropriate thing to do if you knew the spare change was about $1.35? What is your answer based on (Acts 20:35 AMP)?

Always remember there are varying levels of maturity. Just because your integrity and moral standard is how you have been walking to the point where you don't think about it anymore, everyone else may or may not be there yet. The golden rule was a direction for public knowledge. Believers hope that people can not only reiterate the verse, but walk it out daily too. The Word is like a sieve that separates the lumps from the useable product. Can God use you or are you the character waiting for the gullible and unsuspecting while calling yourself a Christian?

Chivalry

2025-06-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

Long before I knew what the word meant, people used to say, "chivalry is dead." No one exclaimed otherwise, so it was assumed to be fine. Let it go. When understanding that it is a good attribute for men to have, there would have been some opposition; but it was too late, People were fine with it being dead...that is, until they need it.

As you know, if you have read any of these blog entries, I do people watching and am usually surprised at some of the things seen. At the parking lot of a grocery store, a young man got out of the car and came to the other side to open the door for a young lady. He seemed to be making fun of a mannerism that has fallen by the way side. But then he held out his bent elbow. It was in wonderment, what was he doing that for? The young lady looked at him as if something was wrong until she noticed his elbow held out for her. She smiled, put her hand through the opening and held fast to his arm. My immediate reaction was, "aww!" Not sarcastic until they came back to the car and he was trying to kiss her, to wit my reaction became, "oh, first date (or the morning after having sex)." Making a good first impression is the title of a different entry (view it here). What this young man was doing is not new. His intentions were mundane and you would think the young lady would have seen his advances as insulting. Why? Because he is not looking for a relationship or anything long termed. Here is what isn't ordinary: she might not want a long term relationship either. Yeah, think on that one.

Last summer in the apartment complex where I reside, there was this woman ranting at a few police

officers that had been called to the scene. The man had a baby in his arm but also holding the baby by the ankle. She had given the baby to this man as the police took her away in hand cuffs (Romans 13:1-7 AMP). I didn't know what happened nor did I want to know. The complex has always been quiet and never had I ever had to call the police or seen the police called. Fast forward 6 months. I see this same young woman screaming at someone in the driver's seat of an old modeled car. She looks like she wants to drive but who ever is sitting there is not allowing her to do so. She yells that she hates the driver and stomps over to the passenger's side and gets in the car. Understand, when I pulled into the parking lot, that car had been sitting at the entrance of the building waiting for this woman. Anyway, the passenger side door is slammed shut and they are on their way out of the parking lot...until the car screeches to a halt. The passengers side door opens and the previously yelling woman is kicked out of the car (actually) onto the street pavement. She topples out looking at the driver and is surprised that the door gets closed before she can get up to stop him from screeching off, to wit she yells, "No you aren't going to leave me...what? Ok...ok...wait till you get back. I'll have something for you." Then she mumbled something inaudible. I was trying to get myself and packages in my building before she crossed my path again. I couldn't move fast enough (Proverbs 21:9 AMP)!

Alright, how about this one? A single woman in an apartment building of a dozen apartments heard a knock on the door. Not trusting the security in the building she did not open the door but asked, who it was. The voice replied a man's name and asked if he could use her laundry card because his card was tapped out. Thinking that it be an odd thing for a stranger to select some random apartment to essentially beg for money, the woman replied that she uses the laundromat rather than the machines in the building. With that information, the man presumably left and the woman called the building manager to complain of the annoyance. The building manager said there was such a man as she named him in her building and the manager agreed that it was like begging for money. However, to anyone else who has come to introduce themselves properly, would have seen it as one neighbor needing another. Fast forward, months later, the single woman noticed how difficult it was getting to enter the front door of her building. The door or lock would stick but this time, the key would not turn to open the door. The woman turned around to see if there was any maintenance in the vicinity to call. She saw that there was a man sitting in his car in the parking lot parked not too far from the woman. She recognized the man as the one who had asked for her laundry card a few months earlier when she had not known anyone in the building. She tried to get his attention to see if he is able to get in the building but saw that he was looking directly at her and made the decision for the woman to fend for herself. It wasn't until another occupant from the building also came and saw the dilemma. She said she had the same problem earlier and figured a way to get in. The man who had been watching the entire time, remained in his car until he saw the door was being opened from the inside through no efforts of his own or tried to make it easier for anyone else.

What has happened? Where do these women come from? Are they born with all of this attitude with demands or is there a catalyst that grows slowly so she won't notice that she sounds like she has mental illness. Does every woman with an attitude have mental illness or is there a root of a problem that can be resolved. Do you see where I am going with this?

I find it hard to understand why men think this is man-bashing rather than a means to reflect the changes society has, should not change believers. Aren’t we supposed to do what is right no matter what?

I am writing an anthology for my children because my relatives that have passed away took secrets with them and I don’t intend to continue the cycle. Also, for them to see when asking me why did I do this or that, I tell them, the reason they have not repeated my actions of ignorance and immaturity is because I taught them habits that made them make better decisions. A small portion of an entry is describing my first date with my father. He opened the car door coming in and going out. He held my hand in the cleft or his arm going into a building, he held the door open coming and going. He held the chair for me to sit in and stood when I'd excused myself to use the ladies' room. He said taking me on a date was for me to know not to expect anything less when going on a date as an adult woman. The problem was, who was doing the things my father did naturally with my mother? He was the only one I saw doing that other than his relatives. Where were theses guys that stood in the gap of protection when walking on the side walk? I won’t write about settling or lowering my expectations, I will remind you of the entry, Slim Pick'ns and how I wish I knew then what I know now. It’s supposed to look like there are no good men left, so you can see him when he finds you.

I like watching old black and white movies. The story teller leaves much to the imagination and it can be appreciated while enjoying the plot unravel to its fullest extent. We also see where men were regarded as the protectors of the nuclear family and they took their position seriously. What if men thought of their role in this manner: God created man in His image. If man were to protect a women as he used to do, is he imitating God habitually? Standing in the gap of danger along the street and making sure when she comes to the door, he sees in front of her that she is not in danger and is standing behind her to cover her as well; like an everyday super hero. Just wondering. Wouldn't it have been nice if that's what he had been doing all of this time and women didn't appreciate it just like some people treat Jesus now? I'm so glad Jesus maintained and followed through. Aren't you?

Not Good Enough?

2025-06-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

There has always been a social status and the class divide where boundaries are made crystal clear whether blatant or not. You see, dividing parties based on how much money one makes in a year, the car he/she drives, and/or where one resides were the basis of friendships, business partners, and including arranged marriages. The families would be pleased not based on cultural beliefs or spiritual commonalities but the outcome financially if anything happened to a family member, the surviving individual would be taken care of. It seems like good planning and very practical right until it spills over into one's personality and day to day living.

To stir up the dust of a topic that rarely gets mentioned will also stir up emotions. Check yourself especially after reading the Word in correlation with the assessment. There is this program entitled Love Is Blind (UK version). In it, there are couples who have exhausted all social possibilities of meeting lasting partners and they choose this social experiment to see if they can get to know one another without seeing what the other looks like. It makes both parties listen to each other and actually focus on the reason as to why they joined the experiment in the first place. At the same time it forces the individual to look inward and discover some things as to why they couldn't find anyone in the first place.

The hard pill to swallow is it never was the other person in the failed relationship before the experiment. One of the women discovered her insecurities while another finds that he wasn't hiding his mental health issues as well as he thought. After a several weeks, each person tells the other how they are feeling and whether they believe compatibility could be a factor. When both agree, they think it is love and therefore can resume a relationship without the wall that kept them from seeing each other through the dating process. For the first time, they can view what they have been enjoying in conversation only and find if what they were feeling is genuine. Out of the possible 12 couples, 5 move on to being engaged (this is after seeing each other and only the flattering words are fresh on their minds). One of the 5 says

something that is off putting to the woman he chose. He finds, being a marketing executive coupled with a make up artist would not be appropriate with his family. He said he kept picturing company and family gatherings where she would feel out of place. She asks how would he introduce her to his friends at special events? He looked at her as if he had finished sucking a lemon and she could not ignore his reaction. It was more than likely a topic he was never planning to discuss because outside of that experiment, he would be going back to his life none the wiser and without her. She, on the other hand, was taking the experiment seriously. Now there was no denying where his heart really was; nevertheless, she sucked it up trying not to see "the journey" as clearly as everyone else.

There was another couple. They were adorable. They both had the same personal and professional interests. The difference was he worked for a large company and she was self employed doing well for herself. Outside of the experiment where they had to manage the time to be together on their own, it became increasingly difficult (Proverbs 28:26 AMP). He said it is because of working constraints. She answered the question clearly by stating once he found how much more of an income she made than him and having her own company, the flattering words fell by the wayside and he did not find it difficult at all to continually live a life without her. He did not dispute her answer. She looked at him in disgust...a man she had described as her perfect half and whom she had been waiting for.

This entry seemed apropos because the name of the television program is Love is Blind. Knowing that God is the definition of Love, it was difficult to fathom (1 John 4:16 AMP). Nevertheless, secular people do secular things while stating that it is in the name of love. God has nothing to do with this. However, if its difficult to do this same thing in our daily practices while looking at the other directly and coming up with the conclusion whether this person will be fit to be a spouse or not, then you know you have some growing up to do. We walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7 AMP). We love God with all of our heart, mind, and strength(Matthew 22:37 AMP). Yet we say we have this love and have never seen Him. We know the voice of the good Shepherd and the voice of the stranger we will not follow (John 10:27-28 AMP). This is why we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37 AMP). This is why what God has given is more than enough (2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP). We trust Him and not our own finite abilities. If Christians were in the same social experiment, would the outcome be different? Could we listen to the Words and not judge by what we see? Personally and honestly, there would need to be more only because of the allowance God has given, we know a tree by the fruit it bears (Matthew 7:15-20 AMP). Talk is cheap and when given a chance to make someone one believe the best of the other, does one dress to impress? Does one exaggerate to make the situation look better? It is the necessity of faith even now more than ever.

The Bounced Around Grown Children of Divorce

2025-05-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there were a generation of parents strung out on their version of peace and love laced with some psychedelic value system that stemmed from a doctor's theory on how to raise a family and another doctor trying to teach you to make your self feel good with self love. Through all of that, we are here today. How do you like it so far? Feel good? Look good? Anything to be pleased about? How does your value system look? Do good and bad have cleared lines of definition? Have you waffled with the bible in maintaining what has been deemed as right for all of these years? How are your long term relationships? How are you living?

This entry came from listening to a divorced father talk about how he and his grown son don't get along and the son blames his father for the divorce. The father has distanced himself from his son's views. The divorced father might not feel it's all his fault, but he knows that his son's lack of self control has caused much difficulty in establishing long term healthy relationships. Its some of the harvest from a divorce, if the parents aren't watchful (Ephesians 6:4 AMP).

A woman exclaims how her daughter has no respect of anything she tells her daughter to do. They claim to have a wonderful relationship, but you couldn't tell watching the dynamics of the two of them. The mention of the divorce causes the woman to roll her eyes and call "him" an idiot out of his presence and the daughter picks a fight with her mother for no apparent reason. The divorce is more than 10 years old.

Another woman has had 3 or 4 children with 3 or 4 different men. None of which have ever been her husband and none of which chose to stay any length of time with this woman other than to sire their offspring. Coming to terms that she will not have the storybook family with a brick home and a white picket fence, she tends to do what ever she has to do to support her children. In the mean time, she becomes tired because it takes both parents to raise physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy children into successful adults (that statement in of itself put people in a tail spin). In her weariness, the words spill out without thought, "you act just like your father. I can't stand him!" In her house hold there is never any peace (Proverbs 19:13 AMP). She is always screaming about something and as a result her desire for a relationship with a man gets farther and farther from her because no one signs up to raise someone else's children, or so she's been told. What she hasn't been told is that the words she spoke over her children has come to pass. All of them act just like their fathers. And just like them, they don't want to stay around her but for now they have to because they are minors. When they get of age or just before then, they are going to try to be grown. And the cycle will continue....at least, in that gene pool.

Back in the day, when divorce seemed to be the answer to the issues of grown adults, the children were an after thought. When asked, what about the children? The reply would be, “they are fine. Children are resilient. They’ll bounce back. It won’t be a problem.” Multiply that reason by 2 generations and what you have is a society with problems. Every child was created by 2 people. When raised by 1, that child will have issues and grow up raising more children with issues if the problems are never resolved (Proverbs 22:6 KJV).

What people, secular or Christian, need to understand is that these days there are things that are made to be done decent and in order for a reason. Understanding that hindsight is 20/20 is another thing we can use to recoup from the past and do better. Yes, it will be challenging but God. Remember He will never leave you nor forsake you. That doesn’t negate your responsibility to ask His forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and ask Him for some help. Stop being stubborn and just do it!

From The Root (part 1)

2025-05-21T14:52:00.001-07:00

There comes a time for everyone where the best idea is to share with someone else your life that you have framed, disciplined, and structured. The values, ethics, and morals you have studied and believe you have been steadfast, trusting that God is pleased and so will your intended. It is a personal conviction you have determined to maintain and know it will be reciprocated in the person you will either propose to or accept the proposal. There are just a few little matters that must be cleared up for the purpose of no misunderstandings later (1 Corinthians 14:33 AMP). It’s those 3 pesky little questions that can assist in determining if the household will be in harmony or turmoil. Also, if you have ever read any of these entries, you will know that just like a job interview, questions and answers can be memorized. Therefore, it would behoove you to make sure you study the scriptures day and night for good success (Joshua 1:8 KJV). It is also the very reason it took this long to get these questions in here. Everybody wanted to know what those dating questions were even before they are ready for a commitment, let alone a life altering decision such that marriage is. Nevertheless, here are those questions and the answers you have to determine whether they are fodder for your soul or a reason to call it quits before emotions get involved:

1. They say arguing is healthy in a relationship. It gets the tough topics out there and allows for both parties to see how each other handles conflict whether to appease or fight until the other quits and/or concedes. If you have children in the house (various ages), is it still healthy for the 2 parents to argue? If so, why? If not, why?

Scripture tells us that children are a blessing (Psalms 127:3-5 AMP). The word also tells the believer to raise up a child in the way he will go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 AMP). When we think of both of these verses, we have to

wonder what happens when dealing with the "terrible twos" or when children are in the adolescent stages of life, trying to gain some independence, and in so doing have made the decision to be disobedient, obnoxious, rude, or worse yet, withdrawn? Personally, I still have to look at the parents and ask what have they done to where the child have to make sense of it, and can't. This would cause the undesirable behavior, yet parents will inevitably answer that they have not done anything wrong because what they have done is normal for them or the new thing trending, or it really isn't something they would agree to change even for the sake of the children.

Social media has shown adult twins introducing the non-parent to the toddler children to see if the child could recognize the parent from the identical twin sibling of the parent. When the child looks confused, both adult twins laugh and think it was all in fun no matter what the child is experiencing on the inside. It is minimized because the parent believes he/she is not causing the child any immediate harm. The same is true for the father, on social media who allowed for the child to know him with a full beard all of the child's short life and then decides to shave it off and give the child a shock. While the child's anguish is evident, the adult laughs again believing that the child is not in immediate danger. This is never thought of as a lasting memory where the child grows with distrust for the parent. nevertheless, it is a kind of training that one doesn't think of (Colossians 3:21 AMP). The same is true when arguing in front of children. By and large, with negative emotions involved, there will be name calling. How would a child feel when one parent calls the other parent a name unbefitting of character and integrity? 50% of each parent makes 100% of the child. If the mother feels that way about her child's father, what does she feel about the child that she made with that man and the same with the man and his baby's Mama? Should it be minimized because the adults don't think it will have any lasting effect on the child? If you believe otherwise, read The Bounced Around Grown Children of Divorce here. The molding and shaping of a child's moral structure and character doesn't only come when consciously aware but all of the time when you don't think he/she is looking or hearing what the parent is doing and saying. This is the training parents have been responsible for when having a child to raise.

My mother use to say, "you are a child for a little while. You are an adult for the rest of your life." Most of the time, she made this reference for my siblings and I to enjoy our childhood and stop rushing to grow up. It wasn't until I became an adult and was employed at a senior independent living facility where I witnessed how adult children treat their elderly parents. You could tell which parents went to the PTA meetings, who was available for the bake sales, which one went over the homework with their child, and didn't allow to bend the rules just because. There were too many seniors alone during the holidays and not because they didn't have families. There were too many looking for other residents they could encroach upon due to loneliness. It is the harvest they did not expect. The ones that were enjoying their children and grandchildren put in the work for those children to desire to honor their father and mother for their days will be long (Exodus 20:12 AMP).

Is it safe to assume that the answer to the first question is evident and obvious? If it wasn't to you, then you have some growing up to do. You also need to remember your own childhood honestly. What things have you minimized and when did you reconcile to forgive something your parents have done? We have all done this. Does it mean for us to repeat those mistakes? Make the next generation better and not confused (Proverbs 4:7 AMP).

From The Root (part 2)

2025-05-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

There are some people you may consider to be absolutely wonderful. You have never seen him/her speaking a harsh word to anyone and has managed difficult situations masterfully. In school, he/she has prioritized to the point of you being envious with how well they have done throughout their academic career and as an adult, there has been no difference only more improvements. Everyone agrees, if you don't make this person your intended, you have lost the good sense God gave you. Have you met such people? When I was a child, the adults would tell me to watch out for those quiet ones. It was a warning I adhered to until I read in the scriptures to remain quiet shows wisdom (Proverbs 17:27-28 AMP). Are both pieces of advise good? Can people show good fruit because they have sown good seed? Why be apprehensive? See, if that question can be answered in part 2 of this dating inquiry:

2. You are so devoted and in love with your intended. This person is everything and more that you've asked God for. This person is kind, loving, and gentle, with an even temperament. I didn't want to mention so not to stir up any superficial feeling, but the person is absolutely gorgeous with no signs of conceit. How often is all of this in one package (that's not the question)? However, when talking about religion (that’s the word that person uses), God is what the person believes. He/she has no problem with Jesus, but the immaculate conception is a little far fetched. Still, this person would give the shirt off his/her back if you asked. Do you see any red flags or can this person be convinced of those itty-bitty discrepancies to maintain this potential courtship?

This might be difficult for some to imagine being in such a predicament while someone else is thinking, what predicament? In order to be in love and devoted to someone, you have allowed for emotions to get involved and you did not guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23 AMP). Deal with that before going any further.

There is another matter to consider, it is assumed that you have learned that making life altering decisions based on what you see, can be regretful. You know we walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7 AMP). There are plenty in the 5-fold ministry that like to sermonize men are visual and women are emotional. Please do not allow those words to describe you when the Word says otherwise. There is no gender divide in walking by faith. It is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1 AMP). How does emotion and visuals work in there?

Now about the meat and potatoes of this question...what about the use of the word, religion? Is it necessary to place the definition here? As believers, does it describe what we know God/Jesus to be in our lives? Religion describes every other spiritual belief from idol worship to witchcraft. Where does Christianity fit in that definition? Christianity is a lifestyle. When the old passes away and behold all things become new, this means we do not rely on the way we used to react to situations and circumstances (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP). We no longer do evil for evil but bless those who spitefully use you (Luke 6:27-28 AMP). We no longer walk away from someone in need even when we don't have it ourselves. The lifestyle of a Christian knows that if your brother asks for a crust of bread, would you give him a stone (Matthew 7:7-12 AMP)? The Word tells us if your brother asks for your shirt give him your coat also (Matthew 5:40-44 AMP). How can his lifestyle be a religion? Religion is used for one day of the week and the other 6 days it is as ordinary as what the secular world does. How can anyone tell the difference between you or anyone else? God is looking for that difference.

If there is a discussion of the word religion, it would also include the immaculate conception. You see, there is no faith in the use of religion. It is why one can be a "saint" on Sunday and less than a saint for the remainder of the week. He/she doesn't believe that there is someone greater watching and knowing what is said as opposed to what one is doing. That conception would also take faith to believe. How else could He have done what He did for us all to be who we are (John 3:16 AMP)? He is not just a man...He is God! Man changes daily. He has to in order for him to grow to be what God intends for him to be. He makes his mind up to serve or not. Jesus realized who He is. At the age of 12, He remained within the temple for 18 years to be about His Father's business. He had a 3 year ministry to save those who believe. A mere man could not have done that.

There is the final part of the question that culminates as to why the intended may have issues with you along the way. The scripture states that no one can come to the Father but through the Son (John 6:44 AMP). If there is an issue in believing that Jesus is Lord, than he/she is not alright with God. He/she doesn't know God and has been perpetrating just to get into a relationship or married to a God fearing person. Red Flags were flying almost immediately (Proverbs 19:25 AMP)!

From The Root (part 3)

2025-05-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

The purpose of asking these questions during courtship is solidifying the decision whether to take the relationship to the next level. The interview process is non-committal and there should not be any emotions involved (Proverbs 4:23 AMP). The answers will give the other party time to reflect and the one answering the question may also do some self assessing. My son tells me that people are people. My answer, well of course they are. What else can they be? He was trying to make me not expect too much from people. They are who they are. I disagree because the parable of talents tell us otherwise. I can have expectations from those who are adults as opposed to those who are adolescents (Hebrews 5:12-13 AMP). God has expectations of those who are maintaining the faith, fighting the good fight, and speaking truth by giving Him the glory. If you expect to be His, then you should be doing the same. The Word tells us, if you are ashamed of Him while on the earth, He will be ashamed of you in heaven (Luke 9:26 AMP). This sounds like an expectation. Just as you would have when finding a wife (and the potential wife accepts). Keep that in mind while asking this final part 3.

3. A pastor and his wife agreed to loan one of their best friends money. It was quite a sizable amount. The couple are good friends to the pastor and knew they must have needed it or they wouldn’t have asked. Some weeks later, the pastor was preaching a sermon and used the loaning of the money as means to strengthen the message. The pastor told of the amount and the names of the couple he loaned the money to. If you were the pastor (or wife of the pastor), would you have done this? They are good friends and the other couple didn’t seem to mind. Does it bother you? Why or why not?

This is only a head scratcher if you are not allowing God to be who He is. The Word tells us if we read the Word day and night, then we will have good success and eat from the fat of the land. This means we are not using what's trending for the time being to resolve problems, answer questions, or live our day to day lives. We use His way and will not deviate from it. Keeping His way in mind, can you see the path clearly?

So let's begin with the bite size pieces first. The pastor and his wife...they are one. They are in agreement. We would make this true for the other couple as well...they are one. They are in agreement. Basically, we are talking about 2 people. One decides that being in a financial turmoil, he could borrow from his best friend without the having to go through all of the red tape that one has to stressfully manage when going through traditional means. The friend said yes. Should there be a sigh of relief? The Word says that if one borrows from a brother, to let it go. Remember the slave that owed the master so much back and begged for mercy in paying back the debt. But when that same slave saw one that owed him, he wanted that man to suffer for not making his payments. God saw that man as evil (Matthew 18:23-35 AMP). Why? Because he was given mercy and he did not show mercy for the one that owed money to him.

But you have those that will deliberately borrow and have no intentions of paying anything back because of what they know from the Word. Do you think this was on the pastor's mind and is it the reason that he made it a public display? It was a large sum of money. Do you think he would have had an issue in letting it go?

Could you see this same situation from God's perspective? The man is a pastor. Wouldn't a pastor know better? Isn't he held by a higher standard (James 3:1 AMP)? By humiliating his best friend using that low point in his friend's life as a part of the sermon, how do you think that felt for his best friend? Why didn't he think of that or did he? Why didn't he ask God? Why didn't the best friend...a pastor?

As a young couple, in dire straits, what would your first course of action be? Where are your emotions? Do you blame anyone? Why not? The husband is supposed to provide and now everyone will know that he has not done that? As a wife, what is your position? What do you do? As a husband, would you have told your wife the financial predicament you put the household in? Is there a fear in telling her? Why? Why not (Romans 13:8 AMP)?

In reading all 3 entries and answering the 3 questions, look within yourselves first before clicking on the highlighted biblical link. In doing so, you will find how you have been walking believing that you have been doing well in God before finding out otherwise or a new answer you hadn't thought of before. Hopefully, these entries will assist in making those paths straighter than they had been. May God continually bless you and yours.

...as Christ Loves The Church

2025-01-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

There have been challenges and life changing decisions that have affected many. Still, God is good and faithful to do as He has promised (1 Corinthians 1:9 AMP). It's our task to be as He is - holy (1 Peter 1:16 AMP).

During a self appointed time for our own personal assessment, we can advise our brothers and sisters in Christ to not repeat the mistakes that we have done. It is inspiring and the reaction that causes these fingers to type. However, as of late, disappointment has tried to creep in and it doesn't motivate. We claim to know so much yet when put to the test, there are far too many failures to mention. Understand, no judgement. If anyone feels judged by reading this entry - it's because you have some cleaning up to do. Actually, we more than likely all do (James 5:16 AMP).

The title of this entry would make an excellent book. The invitation is there if you desire to do it. Just remember to keep God involved. His Word must be incorporated in every crevice. Also, no cliches that sound good having no truth to back it. Cliches don't feed your spirit and it revives the flesh beautifully (Galatians 5:16-24 AMP). Those rhymes that remind us of our childhood bedtime stories and we applaud because it fits for the time being, but it doesn't remain when it gets tough. You can't pull it out to reinforce your point or extinguish a fiery dart. Bedtimes rhymes or cliches can't find the true intentions of the heart or pierce the soul from the spirit. Only God's Word can do that. Know that you have to not only read His Word but study it. It has to be food for your spirit. It has to be a necessity as would your 3 square meals a day. Who has the tenacity to be that forthright and make such a commitment? Answer: those that have been set apart as God's own (1Corinthians 1:30 AMP).

It is believed that our clergy has that commitment. It is why we go to them in our times of wanting justification and solace when times of torment and anguish have rested at our doors. We give our time, money, and confidence to the clergy because it is written for us to reverence them and to know that they are appointed of God. And so we look to them in awe because they have done nothing else but spend such soul searching time with God that we believe the insight they have obtained is truly God ordained. They have prayed for us and must have an on time word to answer the trouble we have been through for so many months. It is why they will be judged by a higher standard. They know better. But...the church has grown to the capacity of them not having the time to spend to talk to you individually...not right now. You can leave a message with his secretary or talk to one of the capable assistants or the assistants' assistant or leave a message with one of the assistants' secretaries. Eventually, he will contact you or you could get a brochure in the mail for the next convention or revival instead.

There, doesn't that feel better?

So what's the point in mentioning all of this when this is a singles blog and the title of this entry seemingly directs the reader to the man and how he should be with his wife? Well, it's like you are born and your parent's do all they can for you because you are not able. But when you start to grow, they cheer at all of your milestones, like cooing for the first time, crawling, walking, being potty trained and then understanding your responsibility in going to the bathroom on your own. Picking up your toys. Making up your own bed. Putting away your laundry after it has been washed. You now understand that it is up to you to keep up with your own hygiene and how that is a social as well as a personal responsibility. Parents are now choosing when to applaud your efforts because you should know by now that certain things that are expected don't need accolades to motivate you to do them. It's expected. We cannot turn back the clock and go back to diapers, nay the womb, just because you don't like taking care of yourself anymore. You shouldn't grieve your parents by moving back in with them and if they should pass away the idea of finally finding a wife to take care of you should not be the solution.

It has to be at least 15 years ago, when a group of young men between the ages of 18 and 22 were talking among themselves in the lobby of a local library. They mentioned dating and what they were looking for. Not what they are attracted to because it was apparent being attractive and having what they were looking for has not been found in the same package...at least, not for them. They knew that without a shadow of doubt they wanted someone who had something to bring to the table. Something else other than making babies. It was high time that someone takes care of them is what one of them said and the rest agreed. About to walk out of the library, I almost stumbled as my pace slowed down to listen to the foolishness of the misguided youths. They knew, as we all must have believed at their age, they had the secret to life. I guarantee that if I took the time to ask that if they were going to flip the script for her to provide for him, should he now obey her - they would have all said in unison, no!

The truth is, there is no secret to life. God has made this as plain as it could be. He has told us to be obedient. He has given us guidelines, boundaries, and then when we understood more, we have freedom to do as we have been called to do. In this, we obtain righteousness, joy, and peace. There is no other way to live. We have loved each other, helped our brother, we have made wrongs right as it is written through forgiveness, grace, and mercy. We have no complaints. We have done this - right? It is why finding a spouse has been so easy. We have made the good things in our life our habits. Finding a good thing is as easy as God said it would be. So why hasn't the marital vows incorporated for men to love their wives as Christ loves the church? Why would this be an issue? Is it so impossible? Yet you expect for your wives to do - what? Think about that?

Recently, it was announced on Facebook, a deacon from a ministry that I used to attend passed away. I was so surprised. He was just commenting on one of my posts. I think he was posting something on his own page at least every other day. I didn't know he was sick. When he passed, there was an outpouring on Facebook at the many lives he touched. Then, also without warning, not knowing she was ill, the announcement that his wife went home too. Shocked would have been an understatement. I thought about her and remembered as a young wife, she shared small tid-bits of advice. Of all of the couples I've ever noticed, she and her husband never had a cross word. If there was a disagreement, no one outside of their home knew about it. She never spoke of him to anyone else and he never did of her. The 2 perfect people to teach couples about marriage and you would never see them volunteer for it. Why? Because it would be an open invitation for someone on the outside to try to tempt the other. Please notice that. All of those wonderful couples that have been married for 40 and 50 plus years, you don't hear them bragging or trying to get attention from others. They are content with the blessing from God. She understands that she is a good thing because of her obedience in Him and her maturity thereafter.

He understands that God has allowed for him to see her and because of this, he has obtained favor. Do you get that - man? You DO NOT have favor of God without her!!! Can you see how much has been stolen from you? And so subtly too. How plainer does this need to be (Mark 4:30-34 AMP)?

When Did The Ball Drop?

2025-01-01T06:48:00.000-08:00

Resolutions are mentioned at the beginning of a New Year and followed through as much as apologies, consideration of others, and allowing someone to get in line before you throughout the year. It just doesn’t happen? How come?

You do realize this is a Christian blog and the reference of you means the church- right? There is no reason the secular community would have anything to do with the questions posed to you because their decision changes as the wind blows. But you…you were created with a sure foundation in mind (1 Timothy 2:19 AMP). You were fed with the milk of the word so that when you were ready your teeth would be strong enough, your system would be able to endure, your muscles and legs are ample enough to bite into, digest, and walk in it by eating the meat of His Word. Are you ready or was it too hard to swallow?

I mentioned before about being astonished with what women wear now a days. One of the entries is called, White Gloves and a Pocketbook. It was a style going out of fashion just when I was born. I saw old black and white movies and wished for those clothes that left much to the imagination having no need for detailed or exaggerated advertisement. If you see the video, you can tell not only the style of clothing changed but so did the expression and tolerance of the women including their femininity. Isn’t it obvious? If it isn’t, what did women think was going to happen with the other side of the population? Men watched this unfold too.

One of my favorite shows to watch because of all of the creativity in one single hour is, Project Runway. Seeing the designers create such fabulous outfits where the requirements are fashion forward, new and different, with a means to be marketable to the general public. Every week someone would win and someone would be out. When it got down to the last 3 for the finale, each contestant must produce 13 separates, dresses, and/or outer wear. It was always exciting to see what the designer did. Did he/she listen to the criticism or did they stay true to their own esthetic? There was one designer in particular of the last show I watched, he liked pushing the boundaries until he was completely void of them. Taking a garment and turning it upside down or making a dress out of pants. It definitely was different, innovative, and something that wasn’t usually seen. In the finale, however, this same designer presented a collection where the model literally exposed her backside. She and the other male model were naked when they turned around to walk back around the runway. The judges, initially were speechless. I waited to see who really was deserving to win. They allowed the designer that really didn’t design anything at all to win. They oohed and awed at the designer deciding to allow a half finished a garment down the aisle…and he won? The judges said it was definitely fashion forward. My question was, for whom? Who was going to be naked in public when there are laws, one is jailed for indecent exposure? The other matter was that 2 of the judges are women. With sex trafficking and sex offenders being on the rise, is it wise or prudent for women to wear such fashion accessorizing the very items the perpetrator desires?

I wrote an article some years ago about the comic Manga with the different varieties this one comic

possesses. The cartoons are marketed to children. I recall seeing when the illustrated novels came to the book stores and practically took it over with aisles and aisles of the different series and the next volume. The children were excited to read. It was what the parents were thinking. No parent deliberately puts his/her child in the arms of danger. Yet these comics have so much adult information. Allow this entry to explain the different kinds of Manga and how your children know more about the sexual tendencies of some more than you. Manga definition was found but keeps clicking from the screen means a style of Japanese comic books and graphic novels typically aimed at adults as well as children. There are 5 different kinds of Manga comic books and most are for adult entertainment. Do your homework before allowing your children free access to those pages of information.

The question at the title of this entries remains to be unanswered. If using it in reference to a sports event, it would mean the opponent has the advantage. How long will that be? So now that we know the ball has dropped, who is going to pick it up first? The better question, are you ready?

Flip The Script

2024-12-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

The purpose for flipping the script is for self preservation or obtaining the benefit from the outcome. It is removing the usual response and saying something so off putting that it causes the hearer to digest the information differently. It isn't playing mind games; it is however, guarding your heart, keeping your confidence, and maintaining a decorum of respect...that would be depending on with whom you have yielded yourself to (Matthew 22:37 AMP).

That brief introduction into this subject is about to break some archaic barriers that many generations of sermons would have believers accepting that the definition of humility is as being like door mats and allowing the enemy to have all sorts of fun at the expense of our dignity. In this entry you will see otherwise and what it has to do with dating for the purposes of marriage in our chosen Christian lifestyle.

Warning, what you are about to read used to be a saying my mother told me as a child in order to curtail my behavior. The saying doesn't rhyme and it isn't pretty. My mother was determined to make me into a young lady no matter how much I enjoyed running with my brother and his friends.... I was a child. What she said had me thinking about it for years. It was aggravating for the most part but as I matured, I knew, like it or not, she was right. The saying: "a man can work himself to a prominent position in society. If he unzips his pants and pees in the street, he can zip his pants back up and be called sir and/or mister. A woman will fight to get into a prominent position but if she decides to squat and pees in the street, she will be known as the woman who peed in the street." What's the point? There has always been a double standard. As much as women try to erase it by getting equal pay for the same work, getting men to be in touch with their "feminine side", and moving into the positions that were only given to men; still, the double standard remains. Why? God made us that way (1 Peter 3:7 AMP).

Men will never be able to birth a child, understand PMS, be a multi-tasking domestic engineer, endure menstruation while nursing and still having to prepare dinner, have the relationship of mother and child, pre-menopausal with mood swings, or having to wear a bra daily. He either minimizes the importance of it or pretends to empathize the ongoing labor of it. Oh, by the way, let's not forget actual labor and cramps...can you imagine men taking either one of those ailments in stride and still function with what women do on a daily basis?! Okay, we agree then...the double standard is screaming in your face all of the time - right?

So let's see the history of all of this. All the way back in biblical times when Esther was given the task to remove Haman out of his position. Her being merely a child herself, she liked the status and privilege. Her uncle told her that the time is upon her to carry out her mission. Her reply: "uh, the king hasn't

called for me. I don't want to get on his bad side. So...(cue question mark facial expression here)." Mordecai responded with, "you are only here because I put you here. Don't think because you are queen, you will be exempt to what happens to the Jews." That was a threat but it got her to move (Esther 4:9-14 AMP).

Queen Vashti was another that was in a position that allowed for her to make her own decisions...well some of them. When the King called for her she refused to come. There could have been a myriad of reasons as to why, but the princes convinced King Ahasuerus to divorce her so that the other women wouldn't get it into their heads that they could do whatever they wanted. He did (Esther 1:1-20 AMP).

The final example, that could have been first is Eve. There she was having her conversation with the serpent. Adam was there with her. Stop, for a moment. I need to let you know, there are men in ministry that read Adam was there with the woman when she ate from the tree and refuse to believe those words that they read. They have tried to convince me of their interpretation for that verse is incorrect. Pause and think about that in the vein of this entry...seriously, am I the only one that can see the irony here? Back to the topic, when questioned as to what has happened because God asked ADAM where he was...his reply was that they hid because they were naked (Genesis 3:1-10 AMP).

Here are some questions for the purpose of this topic: Why couldn't Mordecai go about the task without using his niece? He knew what Haman was trying to do. But he needed HER help. And the queen. Why did the king need for her to come to him when he did? He had been partying for 180 days. No one was drinking but him. Still, Vashti was probably going to bed and completely bored with the party. Ahasuerus needed HER though. And finally, Eve fashioned from Adam's rib, was it good when man was alone? God said it is good only after woman was created. Ooh, pause and think on that.

So why not just leave well enough alone? You tell me. I heard a pastor preach about relationships. Specifically marital relationships. He was focusing on the woman (as most ministers do) and telling the congregation, "whatever you did to get him, that's what you are gonna have to do to keep him." I did not understand. How is this sound instruction? What did she do to get him when the Word tells us that he who finds a wife..."? (Proverbs 18:22 AMP) Didn't this happen? Was he talking to a specific person? Then he needed to have a counseling session with her. All women don't go chasing men.

There have always been some sort of conflict in marriages because if no one submits and both are wanting to have their own way, there will never be peace, and the flesh waring with the spirit, will do what it does. Know that the flesh and sin are partners. This is one of the first things you need to find out on that first date. How is he/she living? A pastor was teaching a lesson on how to test a person to see if she is operating in the flesh or in the Spirit. Only his terminology was to check her temperament. His method was to pick an argument with her. This was another sermon I found very difficult to understand. Why are you going to operate in the flesh to see if she operates in the flesh. Yeah, just follow Jesus. There is flipping of the script to see what the other side is thinking or keeping it really simple and just be able to hear His voice.

And that leads me right back to where I wasn't ready to go....he, the man takes the lead. Do you see this? I am asking because I was told that many of my entries in this blog are considered man bashing. Again, I don't hate men. I love them. I raised four sons and a daughter. What I am compiling here, I have told them and said to come back to these entries to refresh their memory. My aim is as the title describes...get you back where you belong. Where is that? In close relationship with God so that He will never have to ask where you are, for you to love her as Christ loves the church that gave His life up for her, and for her to reciprocate that love back to you. It is cyclical and must be done in order. God first. He did all He needed in 6 days and called it done. Jesus did what he had to do in His 3 year ministry and called it done. Now you...sir. What are you doing? This script is perfect. No changes needed.

Where are you in this process? We know that you are ready to get married or you wouldn't be reading these entries. But what sort of husband will you be? Are you going to be laid back and just be that guy who's mantra being: a happy wife, a happy life"? Or are you supposed to be the harsh disciplinarian keeping control of every aspect of the house including the domestic chores? Will you be delegating or present physically but checked out in every other way? Why do I ask? Because that's what sin has done. Unless you recognize the generations of a downward spiral of failure, you and your seed will be doomed to repeat it. Remember, the enemy is subtle and crafty.

Follow the process so you can see what has happened over the years. There will be those that will vehemently disagree because they believe where they are, they have it good with women cleaning, cooking, delegating, working, bringing home the bacon and owning the farm where the bacon was raised. Why would any real man tolerate that (1 Timothy 5:8 AMP)? A young man married his young bride and was puffed up proud as he told the church members that his wife pregnant in her last tri-mester found carpet batting discarded in a dumpster. Instead of contacting her husband with her find in order to save money, she loaded the family car with all of the batting she could stuff in the trunk and back seat of their compact vehicle. The husband was beaming to the other men in the congregation during the Sunday School break. He said, "that's the kind of woman I am talking about. The kind from back in the day, women pregnant, squatted had the baby, loaded the baby on her back and kept picking the cotton." The older men said nothing. The older women couldn't get to the soon to be young mother fast enough. No doubt, slave women didn't live very long. Hmm, what were his real intentions? How do you feel about that young man believing his wife had her family's best interest to heart? Did she? Does he? Would God ask him, where are you?

You see, the title of this blog is not for the women to get one over on her husband but for the husband to get back in the position of being the man. He is the lead of the household. She is there to help him. It is a humbling thing to know that God created man needing help. But the woman must be humbled as well allowing man to be the head of the house and her. This is why no one can be lord over the other. This is why submission to each other is paramount. If these were the marital vows instead of her promising to obey and him not saying that he will love her as Christ loves the church, there wouldn't be a need for the script to be flipped.

Error: The Chink In The Armor

2024-12-26T10:35:00.000-08:00

First, there is a reason why God tells us that in all of our getting, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7 AMP). The most important thing to know that everything God tells us is for edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Corinthians 14:3 AMP). He told us He would never leave us comfortless. He is our provision, our refuge, our fortress, and shield. He has called us to peace. He tells us over and over again to fear not (Isaiah 41:10 AMP). He says to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6-7 AMP). All of this is in everything as we continue our journey in whatever He has called us to do....this is included in business practices, social cues, and most assuredly in relationships.

Keeping the aforementioned in mind, I heard a pastor of a well known church tell the congregation the definition of insanity. Having been a follower of this ministry for years, I was always eager to hear a fresh Word from God through him. He proceeded to give the definition as "continuing to do the same thing while believing for different results." Whenever there is a message with no scripture to support it, the rest of the sermon is arrested because it's causing trouble within to make sense of it. Oddly enough, this manufactured definition spread like wild fire throughout social media and in some aspects of regular programming. People were looking well pleased with themselves probably thinking that when it came from them, it sounded intelligent and more than likely something that would be remembered. Yet, if the Word is not studied to counteract what was said, then it will infiltrate other aspects of your life of which you thought were solid (1 John 4: 5-6 AMP).

You see if I left it alone, looking pretty and all tied up in a bow with those saying that it was an on time Word, than those younger would incorporate it as well. However, the actual Word of God says, "be not weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap the reward (Galatians 6:9 KJV)." The actual Word of God says, ...you have been faithful with a few, I will make you ruler over many...(Matthew 25:23 KJV)" The actual Word of God says, "...allow for patience to have her perfect work in it's entirety wanting nothing....(James 1:3-5 KJV)" Where does that definition for insanity fit here? But what does happen is that error can make a crack that causes the armor to be inefficient. Error can cause for a fiery dart to burn the entire house down. Error can cause discord and animosity where there wasn't originally (1 John 4:6 AMP). Can you see the importance in studying the Word for yourself (2 Timothy 2:15 AMP)? Do you see how the smallest of foxes can spoil the vine?

In having the whole armor on, the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, loins girded about with truth, feet are shodded with the preparation of the gospel of peace, and the sword (the Word of God) we are prepared for battle (Ephesians 6:11-17 AMP). We can stand against the fiery darts of the wicked and walk in the midst of turmoil and it shall not touch because we have been prepared. It is why the entry in this blog, Slim Pickn's is so prevalent. For the world it means a time of desperation because all of the good ones in that age group are almost all gone. For the believer, it is a great time because you can see through all of the pretenders and those with less than sincere intensions. But if you start believing more so in your biological clock ticking away (ladies) or being too old to play with your children (men) then something in your armor has been breeched. Get ready for trials and tribulation.

God is the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2 KJV). God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV). Incorporating trendy

jingles that sound good but actually oppose the Word is a daily challenge. There was a woman showing on Instagram her sitting in her car listening to the old school music from back in the day. The melody and lyrics takes you back when life was simple and you were a child playing on the playground and running with your friends having fun (1 Corinthians 13:11KJV). As she was snapping her fingers and smiling at some childhood memory, she heard the words as if for the first time. One of the songs spoke about committing adultery. Another song was about prostitution. The same thing happened to me going out to dinner and the driver had the radio on. The music was reminding me of my child hood, then I heard the singer refer to the love he hoped for was gone all that was left for him to do was end it all. We sang these songs because of the happy melody thinking it was good to dance to...but for God and His mercy, we were spared by speaking those things in existence (Psalms 19:14 KJV). Do you see that?

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 1)?

2024-11-27T12:27:00.001-08:00

Tony Orlando and Dawn was a singing group back in the 70's. Tony Orlando was singing well before then though. During that time, the hit, Tie a Yellow Ribbon was on the rise, and so was his weight. By the mid to late 70's, everyone noticed how he started to slim down. It looked effortless. He was on a talk show when the subject came up in an interview. Mr. Orlando explained that as a child and well into his adult years, he would always have a particular snack of a well known brand of chocolate cookie and milk. It seemed innocent enough when growing into his teen years and really wasn't noticing the weight gain until an adult. He didn't change much of his diet, he just stopped the seemingly innocent snack of milk and cookies.

This is how the concept of trust has been used, something as simple as a childhood snack. When reading about relationships or studying about marriage and counseling couples, this concept is paramount in all aspects of the dynamic. Having the support of the significant other, there has to be trust because without it, what is the foundation of any relationship? It sounds good. It makes sense and therefore we take this rather innocent and easy subject matter and we incorporate it as a means by which we measure all relationships. There has to be this element of trust, there just has to be (Proverbs 18:24 AMP)!

But God. We are believers residing in this world for a moment. We are not to incorporate the values or the precepts that has been developed from rationalization and processes of elimination. You see, we all have done this and then we come into the knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 3:7 AMP). We understand the 10 Commandments and have incorporate it in our lives. What ever else that we used instead has died. We have learned of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit and has incorporated it into our lives. Whatever else we had before that has passed away with the flesh (including its lusts and affections). We understand and know it is better this way. We have meditated on it day and night...it is to our benefit to do so (Joshua 1:8 KJV). Then why wouldn't trust be included with that?

Remember the children of Israel and them praying for a king. They wanted a king because they saw

other provinces with their own king and they didn't want to be without one. They were led away from Pharoah, the one who kept them as slaves by the separation of an ocean. There is only One who could have done that. They were fed food from heaven by the only One that could have done that. They were guided in the night by a flame in the sky, there is only One that could do that and yet they still wanted to have a king they could see. When their request was granted with Saul, because he was head and shoulders above other men, they were satisfied. When the children of Israel were harassed by Goliath, they trusted in their king. The king they taunted by singing that he can only kill 1000 in war while David kills 10,000 (1 Samuel 18:6-9 KJV). They didn't know what childish teasing could do to a grown man's ego even being surrounded by men of nobility. That man that they trusted in, not only gave the task to a boy to do but went to a soothsayer for direction. Was that a godly thing to do? Is that an obvious question? But before reading this, didn't you believe trust is paramount in a relationship too?

This also applies when finding that good thing, gentlemen. You see when David married Jonathon's sister, he thought he got the cream of the crop. There is an entry about it in depth. You can read about it here. You see, his wife kept idols under her childhood bed (1Samuel 19:13 KJV). You would think after leaving her father's home that she leaves the childish things as well. But she was raised by her father, Saul. When she went to get her clothes, she remembered her idols and brought them with her. She placed them under her marital bed. Did David know what she did. It isn't written that he did. Do you think David trusted the woman he married?

It’s like that childhood snack. It's just 2 cookies and 4 ounces of milk. It ties the appetite over until dinner. Go outside and play with your friends before you know it, 2-3 hours have passed and it’s time to come in. Granted, as adults our lives seem to be more complicated than that. As adults, we have put away with childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV). We don’t need something to tie us over until the next meal. We are disciplined. As children, our trust is put upon our parents to raise and support us to the best of their ability. Then we grow up and learn of their fallacies (Ephesians 5:1-33 KJV). Our trust is transferred to the One that has no fallacies. If those changes aren't made, you cannot blame anyone but yourself.

In this blog, there are several excerpts written about guarding the heart, the heart being a major organ for existence and the only One you can trust with such the organ is the Creator of said organ. You can read more of the heart here, here, and here. Putting your trust in someone who has not finished growing up is a recipe for disaster. We put our trust in God - that's all. Not things, not machines, not pets, not people. Things can rot, mildew, and rust. Animals don't reason and will leave the owner if threatened or something better comes along. People have to be taught right from wrong and then decide whether they are going to do it or not. God tells people to choose. Why would He tell us this, if we already know? How would you know if that significant other chose life or not? God knows. He changes not. It is to your benefit to trust in Him. It is the only way you will know His voice (John 10:27 KJV).

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 2)?

2024-11-27T12:02:00.002-08:00

Attending a Christian College to obtain a graduate degree, I was eager to begin the new semester. There were assignments, as usual, but my favorite part of any class was the essays. The essay we were to compose had to do with the subject matter of trust and where we learned this valuable lesson using scripture to substantiate the point of view. I don’t recall the content of the paper but I do remember some of the comments the professor had in the margins. He thought that the essay I wrote was funny. Still, at the end, he disagreed with my point of view and wrote, “you have to trust someone.”

His comment perplexed me for several reasons. One, it’s a Christian institution and I assumed those teaching are Christian as well. The other thing was that I used scripture to make my point valid and it didn’t matter to him. Finally, I wondered why I was allowing this man to teach me anything if he was going to oppose the basics of trust? The remainder of that semester became difficult for me to concentrate and as a result, I discontinued my course work there. The idea of incorporating error in my life was disturbing and separating myself from the inevitable (1 John 4:6 AMP).

Though this was school, it still had a red flag waving for me to address. I couldn’t ignore the blatant disregard to the scriptures. Even if he had a point, he should have substantiated it with verse. He didn’t do that. He used his opinion, something that would not have helped me when the time comes to extinguishing fiery darts (Ephesians 6:16 KJV).

There is another matter about trust and it’s about being gullible. Frankly, that word is bothersome

because it describes the considerate things people do in a negative connotation; nevertheless, it is necessary for you to be aware for the purposes of allowing the other party to have the last word, the finagled item, or the last laugh (Matthew 5:44 KJV).

There was an episode of Judge Judy where an Uber driver was suing a blind patron. Immediately without knowing what’s going on, the sympathy goes to the patron because of the disability; however, the Uber driver explains picking up the patron and his girlfriend, dropped the girlfriend off and proceeded to take the patron home. On the way and at the request of the patron, the driver stopped at a drive through restaurant where the driver ordered after the patron made his order. When it came time to pay the bill, the patron discovered he didn’t have the right credit card and asked the driver to pay for both bills. He will be sure to pay the driver back once he returned home. The driver did. When the driver dropped the patron off at his residence, he went inside and did not come back out. The driver left the vehicle and walked to the door to see if there was an issue. The patron refused to answer. He had no intention of paying the driver. When Judge Judy asked the patron what was the problem? The patron replied that he said he was going to pay the driver back but there wasn’t a definitive time line on when that would be. The driver continued to testify that the patron gave the driver a bad review and posted the review on Facebook. It was one of the few times that I saw Judge Judy gob smacked. Me too!

Was the driver being gullible and if the driver allowed the incident to pass without taking him to court, would that be gullible too? Had the blind patron done this before? Would he continue using his disability as a crutch knowing that people would feel sorry for him? Isn’t it just common courtesy to believe if someone says they will do something that you can expect it to be done? Well, as much as it used to be a point of integrity and a person’s word is their bond, it is also the reason why contractual law is big business. If there is an agreement, put it on paper. If one of the parties says that isn’t necessary, walk away assuring that no deal was made. Guard your heart means just that and in every aspect (Luke 21:34 AMP). There is only One you can trust (Proverbs 3:5 AMP). He changes not.

If you need this in the most basic rudimentary building blocks of dating and relationships, know that even in a marriage, the license signed is a contract. How’s that for trust?

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 3)?

2024-11-27T11:38:00.002-08:00

Currently, my career has led me to a mental health facility where the job of Social Work is constant. The services provided are not only to the poor and homeless but also to those with higher levels of education and socio-economic status. It is an aspect of this field I had no interest to be a part of, but God. As I became more acclimated to the position, I have found a common thread in many of the mental health issues. For instance, if you’ve ever seen the television show, Hoarders, you realize that as the episode continues and delves into that particular hoarder, he/she has had some trauma in their life some sort of way and many of them have another common thread using thrift stores (estate, yard, or garage sales) as a means of escape. The facility where I am employed the common thread is the absolving trust within relationships. These relationships can be immediate family or long termed friendship or marriage. It takes therapy sessions before the patient can come to terms with trusting the individual to do the right thing.

Whether it’s the father deciding to leave the family when his daughter has become so close to him and grows up wondering what she did wrong to a cheating spouse justifying why cheating was inevitable when vows to avoid all others were made at a ceremony with the collection of family and friends to witness the event. Unless the matter is dealt with for the individual to get an understanding, it’s suppressed but will come out in other ways.

An elderly woman deciding to continue to work well into her 70’s was having issues with her

supervisor. There was nothing she thought she was doing wrong but her supervisor found a reason to harass her daily. After so many months, the elderly woman found it difficult to rest in the evening and would only get a few hours of sleep to eventually go through the same treatment the next day. Weeks later she would wake from a restless night having hives all over her body. Red blotches covered her face with her lip and eye lid swollen. She and her family thought that it must be an allergic reaction to something she ate. Going to get medical attention, it was found to be stress related. The elderly woman believed that the harassment would eventually stop or someone else would step in to harass the supervisor or report the bullying. None of that happened. It was up to her to do what she didn’t want to do - say something. One morning, the elderly woman told the supervisor exactly what that supervisor had been doing and if she didn’t stop, the elderly woman was going to report her to administration. Once confronted, the bullying stopped, the hives went away, and the red blotches never came back. Know the elderly woman suppressed that anguish for 12 years before saying anything. What her physical and mental health went through, one can only imagine.

Understand, the title of this entry is to inform you that trust has been used in all sorts of ways. What we are realizing is that there is no one you can trust in but God. I recall writing a dissertation when in the last semester of receiving my degree. I wrote about the food industry from what it used to be and what it has become. My academic advisor read the essay and said that I went too far. That there is no reason to concern the community about a theory that may or may not happen. It wasn't the purpose of the paper. My purpose was to fulfill an assignment but the educator was looking for an argument. I used the references that the institution had provided. The theory where the food industry was going is now a reality. That paper was written in the mid 90's. Information labels where the consumer could be aware of the nutritional value were being enforced. 10 years previous, society was taught that coconut oil was the worst oil for the human consumption because the fats were so saturated. Now, scientists say different. Back in the 70's, there was liquid protein put on the market for weight loss. People became sick and were passing away. But the trust was there because the inevitable was unconscionable. Throw away that old thinking and acknowledge Him in ALL of your ways. He knows better than anyone...including scientists.

Lights Out!

2024-11-27T11:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes after church services, a group of us single women would find something to do. On that particular Sunday, we went open house browsing in affluent neighborhoods. The homes were so palatial. Far more spacious than what any of us were able to afford at the time, but God (we said). From one house to another we ooh and awed before noticing that it was getting dark. For us, that meant the blinds or curtains were going to close for privacy. These owners had no window dressing to use. It was the only thing we found odd, until leaving and saw how dark it was in the entire neighborhood...to the point that if it weren't for the owner leaving that light on in the house, we wouldn't have been able to see backing out of the driveway. There were no streetlights, no personal yard light, no porch lights - nothing. It was explained that the wiring was underground to minimize blackouts during storm season. Oh, we said in unison with a question mark. So they would prefer car accidents instead?

I was driving through my local neighborhood and noticed in the shopping area, the lights weren't on as they used to be. Even when driving down the street and towards the highway, the street lights are either off or were removed. It was late Autumn and early in the morning, going to my usual cafe was a feat of memory rather than usually seeing the signs and markings on the road indicating where to drive and turn. The drivers had to rely on their own headlights and the headlights of oncoming traffic to navigate getting to our destinations. What has happened? Where has the importance of safety turned into?

In my social services career, I have enjoyed a number of positions which gave me invaluable experience

with groups of people as well as individuals. A job I thoroughly enjoyed was working at a faith based middle school, where the faculty came together first thing in the morning to pray and worship God, It was so wonderful and the absolute perfect way to start every single day. As the children would come and find their perspective classrooms, eventually the children became rambunctious, as children do. Instead of the teachers losing their minds screaming or sending the children to the principal's office, they developed a system of turning off the light. The children's attention was averted and the teacher was allowed to speak and be heard. A funny thing happened when I substituted one of the classes, I finished writing the assignment on the board with instruction. As I placed the chalk down and turned to see if the class was doing the work, one of the students asked me why do the teachers turn off the lights. I paused thinking that most, if not all, of the students came from families belonging to the ministry. But as the question was asked, I saw a few heads look up from what they were doing to hear the answer. How did they not know?

It was the first time I taught a classroom full of children the basic building blocks of Christianity and why we continue to do as we do. The Lord calls the believer "the salt of the earth the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16 AMP)". When continual disobedience was in the land, the two that knew only what God said, caused for the land to be cursed and separated the relationship God had with man (Isaiah 59:2 AMP). It was essential for Jesus to be given to the world, for whosoever believing on Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. God tells us to let our light shine. God tells us to not hide our candle under a bushel. So then if you are the light of the world but when disobedient you cannot be because you are acting like the sinner, when the teacher turns out the light, she is reminding you of that. Be obedient. You are the light of the world. A necessity. I recall the class being quiet just before the bell rang for them to be dismissed for the next class to come in. The halls were all a buzz. I had no idea that what was said in the small amount of time we had, would become news for the staff in the building. The next class came in and sat upright with their hands folded on top of their desks. I didn't know what to expect. I explained what was on the board for them to complete but they wanted to know what we were talking about in the previous class. When I divulged the information, one of the students asked why did they have to pray and praise God before they could go to class and what is the Holy Spirit? It was fodder for the most interesting class yet. How did they not know?

In the perspective of Christian dating, I often use the term, common sense out of frustration because if I know it, it has to be simple enough for anyone else to understand it as well. Why wouldn't you allow for street lights to remain on until daybreak or at sunset? Is it more important that the city not be in debt than it is for the safety of the those residing in the city? Is it necessary for there to be some sort of uproar before returning the lights where they were? How much will that cost? It just seems everyone would want the best for the health and welfare for the other. It is what we were created for. Iron sharpens iron is being supportive of the other and where they fall short, you have their back (Proverbs 27:17 AMP). Isn't that common sense anymore?

As believers, do we assume our children will gain the knowledge of the truth through osmosis? Do we think that once they come home from school, it is all they needed to learn for the day? Do you pray together? Do you give God the glory together? Do you at least eat dinner together? These things are necessary for your children to see its importance and pass it on for the next generation. But if you don't do your due diligence, why should they? Why should they grow to be men and women of integrity? Instead they have learned to get by, suppress, pretend and then call it Christianity. Selah.