F. H. P

Just started writing in Wattpad

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Fri, 25 Apr 2025 15:16:00 +0000

I have just started writing in Wattpad. I am an author and my only book as of date has been published in 2016. It was 9 years ago. I have yet to publish another book. And I decided to write again but I do not have any means to publish. My other works got rejected and my self confidence plummetted. So I decided to try to write in Wattpad because there are systems for the readers to comment. I am writing about Helena, a princess born in exile, being the rightful heir of the kingdom but the new king who won the throne by right of conquest were hunting her for fifteen years, the people were not happy and neglected. So their hope rested with the princess that they did not know was dead or alive. When she was finally out and about at a friendly territory, even the foreign dignitaries decided to meet with her and offer support when she asked (of course, for something in return).

And for now that's it that I had publish. I could publish chapter by chapter, which is good. You can come and find the book entitled Young Helena and give me some comments. I really need the comments to see if I still have what it takes to be an author again. Here is the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/392910607-young-helena-a-princess-without-a-realm and do comment on it if you have time to read it! Thanks in advance

Story of the Yanxi Palace

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Fri, 25 Apr 2025 14:25:00 +0000

I know, people who knew me would tell me that, Eh, i thought you said you didnt like Yanxi palace because its counteract Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace. Hear me out here. Yes, I did say that. Previously. I have watched Ruyi's Royal Love on repeat for more than 20 times. All 87 episodes. I could understand and memorize the script, albiet in Traditional Chinese, and will know which scene was it without even looking. And i LOVED that drama! However, it has been a while since i last repeat the series (I stopped watching a little bit when my little girl turned one -- Hey, i started watching when I got morning sickness from my pregnancy with my second born, and kept on repeating it until she turns one. How many times would you say I repeated watching? More than 20 is an understatement, I tell you that), and I had moved a little to Legend of Zhen Huan, which is not a big move, as they came from the same line of production - is that the term? I was told that Legend of Zhen Huan is the prequel of Ruyi's Royal Love, so there's that. But, after few months of not watching period drama, whenever i see someone using cheongsam, i felt something off. I wanted to watch period drama but i dont want to repeat Ruyi and Zhen Huan. I want something new. So i double back to Yanxi Palace. And that was then i realized. The Wei Yingluo was not that different than Wei Yanwan. They have the same temper, same cunningly attitude - but Wei Yanwan is not that sharp compared to Wei Yingluo. Yingluo's motive of being closer to the palace, entering the palace and move her way up is different than Yanwan, who just wants to be rich and live comfortably (although she kept on thinking people wants to get to her so much that I was like, please lah, you're not the centre of the world). Nara Shushen and Nara Ruyi was also not that different, in the first 10 episodes. Both came from family that have downfalls, both encouraged by family to fight for favour. Both did not want to fight for favour, you know, as such. The differences are, Lord Fuheng plays larger role in Yanxi Palace, the Xiaoxian Empress were too kind in Yanxi Palace... And turns out I like the Yanxi Palace though I don't repeat like I did with Ruyi. I mean, they spoke of the same persons but are different in any way. Yanxi Palace did not mention much of the Prince, just the popular ones so there's that. So try watching them all! They are all entertaining.

I am currently OBSESSED with Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 07 Jun 2022 03:47:00 +0000

This C-Drama (yes, a new one for me - horrayyyy a milestone!- getting obsessed with C-Drama), also known as The Legend of Ruyi (trad. Chinese 如懿傳) is starred by Zhou Xun (she's pretty) and Wallace Huo.

- You know, previously I think I did watch some of Wallace Huo's tv series before but I don't remember which one - I think the TV series might air around the same time as Fong Sai Yuk. -

This series of 87 episodes (in which i streamed more than 10 times) follows the step of Step-Empress Nara (played by Zhou Xun) (some say her last name is Hoifa Nara, while others claimed it was Ula Nara) before and during the Qianlong Emperor's (played by Wallace Huo) reign as his consort until her death in 1766 of Tuberculosis.

Why I am obsessed? Well....

It is about someone bullying and scheming against someone else, and the victim (the Empress Nara) usually had to defend herself against all the bullying and scheming that she had to scheme to so that the emperor or the empress dowager aware of what is going on in the harem.

She did not begin her marriage as the first wife and empress once Qianlong Emperor ascend the throne, she's there after the first Empress of Fuca clan died.

And that's not just it.

While the ones scheming sometimes showed themselves from the first episode that they are going to scheme, however, there is some instigation as well that I had to really focus on to get what they mean, and to understand at which point they decided to do the unthinkable.

You know, after watching the series for more than 10 times, I still had a lingering question

Who was the Yu Prince that Consort Jia kept on refering to? When I search in Wikipedia, it stated that the Yu Prince was the Joseon Crown Prince. When I tracked historically of which Joseon Crown Prince had became King at that timeframe, it was King Yeongjo.

HOWEVER, the Yu Prince was mentioned to have forced his primary wife to commit suicide, but King Yeongjo's first primary wife lived until she was well above 60 years old!

So who's the Yu Prince? Is there any other Korean Prince-ly state around, because it is very interesting when we watch these types of historical drama, and can relate to its corresponding historical fact (although not all in the drama is a fact, sometimes they just twist things up to make it interesting).

There is another historical anomaly here. Empress Xiaojingxian died few years before the Yinzhen Emperor, but in the series, it was said she died after the emperor, by act of suicide.

But sure, let's make it interesting.

Hey. Every historical drama or biological drama / movie has to be twisted up a little bit, or not it will be a bit boring.

Right?

Anyway.

Let's repeat Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace for the 11th time!

Invictus

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 13 Aug 2019 03:02:00 +0000

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

My 3 days admitted. As a "test subject".

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 03:04:00 +0000

Yep.
Test subject I would rather called myself rather than being a maternity ward patient.

Roll eyes.

I was admitted for 3 days.
Mind you I have been admitted numerous times before. But this time I cannot take it. Everything.
So long story short, I applied for DAMA. Discharged dishonorably. Haha. Kidding.

Discharged against medical advice.

Firstly. I went to the local government hospital in our area because my obgyn referred me there. My obgyn worked at a private hospital also in our area. Not to say that I can afford private but I just want to share my thoughts.

She referred me because we thought I was leaking. Bear this in mind. This will come back to haunt me later. I was 27 weeks pregnant. So of course I don't want to give birth early. I want my baby to be in perfect health! So when we thought I was leaking, the private hospital did not have any specialists for premature babies. They do have, but they would call specialists from the government hospital, which would be a lengthy procedures, so to cut it short, my doctor referred me there.

So. I arrived there around fifteen minutes later.

I went to the labour ward. The doctor probed me (in which i don't care. I just want to know what is wrong with me). She said I wasn't leaking. But she wanted to keep me in at least one day to observe.

I was ok with that, even though I had a mild homesickness (as since I got married I never slept away and I never left my husband's side, so I was worried of his well being as how he's worried of mine). So I spend my first night there.

Then, on to my second day.
Nothing was done on to me. No tests...no nothing.
No news of discharge. I experienced no pain. But I was still there for observation.
Husband came during visitation hours. Cried a bit because I missed him. Then he left once visitation hours ended.
Specialist came to see me and ask me if i had any more leakage. I told her I wore my panties and see nothing - they're clean and dry.

Pretty much that's it for my second day.

My third day. This was a little bit eventful.
Suddenly, another specialist came.
She asked me the same question - if I had any more leakage. I told her that I wore panty liners and they're clean and dry since day 1.
Then this word came out of her mouth. I quoted her directly.

"Okay, I see there is nothing wrong with you and your baby. You have no leakage, the labour ward doctor also said you did not have any apparent rupture anywhere and your waters seems okay, and did not lessened. You appear to be okay."

I was glad. But that wasnt the end.

"But you said you were leaking."

I frowned. I did not say I was leaking. I thought I was leaking. And it was proven by the labour room doctor that I was not leaking. But I didnt say anything because I didnt have time. She cut me through my determinedly open mouth.

"So," she continued. "We're going to treat you as if you are leaking."

The only word that got out of my mouth was - "What?"

She did not look at me or even acknowledge my existence as a human being so she continued to write on my case note.

"We'll give you dexamethasone - to mature up the baby's heart in case you have to push out early. You wil lbe given erythromysin to combat bacteria. If you have leakage then we're afraid you'll be infected." Then she turned to the nurses. "Is she having fever?"

"No," the nurses said.

"Never mine, treat her as if she's having fever. Give her antibiotics."

Then, without any warning, without asking for my consent, I was given 2 doses of dexamethanose, and I have to inject erythromysin in order to combat bacteria that wasnt there.

The next day, I told them that I wanted to be discharged. I told them that there was nothing wrong with me. So they took my blood test. This one I consented. Because I wanted to show them that there was nothing wrong so let me go home.

My blood test was.....I dont know how to describe. My HB plummets. My WBC risen up. I didnt have fever. My heartbeat exceeded 100bps. And suddenly, the specialist came again and told me;

"Oh dear, your WBC count rises. Your heartbeat exceeded 100bps, this is different case entirely. You have to stay for one more day and we'll treat you for tyroid."

My eyes widened.
Tyroid? I dont have tyroid.
I know if I have tyroid.

My heartbeat exceeded 100bps because I have asthma and I was given dexa. It was a common side effect. Everyone knows that, just like how Ventolin affects you. I told them i have asthma in my health record. It is impossible they didnt know.

My WBC count rises because my body was told that there are bacteria that needed killing where there isnt any. This is common knowledge.

And suddenly, without diagnosing me with tyroid, they're treating me for tyroid?

I couldnt take it anymore. So I told them.

"Discharge me"

"We can't"

"Yes you can. Discharge me."

"You're not well."

"I am well. Discharge me."

"Sorry, we still have to treat you."

"Then discharge me. I wanted to be discharged against whatever you said. I wanted to be discharged against your medical advise."

Then the specialist didnt say any word.
She ignored me fully.

Nobody came to talk to me. Not even the nurses.
Suddenly, when it was nearing night time, I went to the nurses counter and asked what's next.

"Oh, you're being discharged. Why havent you change?"

I frowned. Nobody said anything to me. I know, i wanted to be discharged, but nobody said anything about me getting the discharge I wanted.

But I dont care. I'm out. So I went and changed to my everyday clothes and walked out of the ward as a free mom to be.

And that's not all.
They said i didnt deserve sick leave for all the days I spent in the ward.
Because i was against their advise.
Stupid, right?
But I dont care. I rather have less annual leave (to compensate the days I spent in ward), than to have my body injected with something that will not cure me of something that i didnt have.

So that's my story, of being admitted. I thought I felt like a test subject, hence, the subject.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.
Back to work guys.

Btw,

I am no more a scientist now. I am a researcher.

Same thing? Maybe.

How did you find me?

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 08:38:00 +0000

He joked when she asked him
how did you find me
with the noise my lights all dimmed
like a pauper amongst the beauties

he answered very carefreely
through a map as it was never wrong
followed every path and every tree
through the streets and the throng

then he got all very serious
and there you stood, small and unnoticed
in that black and pink top, mysterious
unbloom like a forgotten lotus
and then i knew my map was right
leading where I want, though late
i look back to see what did i write
and I read, in search box, "my soulmate"
so now you know its all true
that how I really found you.

Her Polar Opposite

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 08:35:00 +0000

he's very pessimist

she's one of the optimists

when she's all negatives

he provides the positives

she's improper, while he's opposite

he is, her polar opposite

though it seems they are in contrast

some proves they do work along

similarly they have of interests

with fun and games all align

they share parts of the composite

but he's still her polar opposite

They arent friends but they're matched

they arent lovers but they cared

no strings bind but they're attached

with no kind of relationships are successfully declared

both still waiting for another to admit

oh so the same, they're polar opposite

I am a big fan of car accessories.

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 11:32:00 +0000

You name it.
In-car entertainment system.
Brand new steering.
Start button system.
Auto lock brake system.

Okay.

Truthfully I dont know their proper names, but when I go to the car accesories shop, honestly, I couldn't hold my purse. My money immediately fly away.

Like today, as there are year end sales, there are discounts on the in car entertainment system (GPS and maps include). This is very attractive to me, not because of the entertainment stuff (I am not into watching movies in car as it will invite annoying headache) but the maps thingy are sort of useful to me. I dont really know my way around so the maps and navigation system can come in handy.

Oh.

And there is a red formula one like steering wheel....on my...if only you know how hard it is for me to say no to it...i cannot bring it home...because honestly i am not into modifying cars....so i have to let it go as my steering wheel is still in perfectly good condition.

The other thing that caught my mind apart from the in car entertainment system and steering wheel is.......the start button system.

I first encounter that system in my dad's car. I love it so much that i wanted to modify my car into a push start car. But again, i dont like modifying. The most I can do with my car is change the seat cover entirely with a leather seat one. And thats what I plan to do next time. After I buy myself a great 2tb/4tb hard disk for me to store all my stuffs.

I had a lot of softcopy stuffs.
I had used all my 1tb and 2 500mb external for that.
I am not regretting anything i tell you.

Assassins Creed: The Movie

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 07:20:00 +0000

Hi!

I've watched the Assassins Creed last night (25 December 2016)! Finally! After about one and a half year of waiting! (cue Sirius Black's line in HPPOA - "I did my waiting! One-And-A-Half year of it....in Azkaban!) So, yep. I watched it last night, on Christmas Day, at 7.00 pm, with my partner-in-crime (only that we've never attempted any crime whatsoever - but you know this, do you?) at The Spring.

The journey there aren't much, though. We've encountered two office-mates and one low-phone battery situation, which, thankfully, the partner-in-crime solved it with his very own powerbank. We chose the couple seat - not because we liked being secluded, but because the seat (sofa) is so very comfy and - let's face it, all of us loved sitting at the back, watching the movie at the farthest end, not too close to the screen and hurts the eye, and that, as I am quite short, the seats at the back assured me of the part where the head of those in front wouldnt bother my line of sights....

But that's not what I intended to write in this entry, but, as you know me, I would ramble before I get to the real story here. So there's that. End of my rambling.

So.
Assassins Creed.
La Shay'a Waqi'un Mutlaq, Bala Kulum Mumkin.
"Nothing Is True. Everything Is Permitted".

Overall, I would give this movie a 6 out of 10. The graphic is great, the action is great, but the talking part is quite dull.

**Spoiler Alert**

The talking part is essential to those who never played any of the game franchise prior to watching the movie. It told us the story of Assassins and Templar, two groups/clan who fought over the years to gain access to the Apple of Eden. The Assassins are the protector of the Apple, which had the genetic code to access Human's free will, which the Templar aimed to use to destroy human's free will so that they will submit to whatever it is needed to follow one Templar. That's actually the basic of the Templar-Assassins rivalry.

The action part is great. You can see every bit there was in the game. The hidden blade, the swinging of axes and swords and poles....the most important thing of all - the leap of faith.
There are three leap of faiths performed, and only one we can actually see the Assassins landed. The thing is, the Assassin did not land on his back, how it was supposed to be. As it is turning from the medieval times to the present times, as the Animus was in the way of a perfect leap of faith, Callum Lynch (descendant of Assassin Aguilar de Nerha) landed on his feet.

Yep.

And Animus aren't how it was in the game. The Animus in the movie is like a claw and it permitted movement of Callum to mimic and synchronize his ancestor's memory perfectly. The plot is great, I follow every part and I even felt the sadness when the female Assassin died. They truly sacrifice their life for the creed.

There's one part I like, where the creed's maxim is uttered through the language of the Great Mentor, Altair Ibn La Ahad,

لاشيء واقع مطلق، بل كل ممكن
La Shay'a Waqi'un Mutlaq, Bala Kulum Mumkin,

And it reverberated in the halls of the animus, several times, and we can see Callum embraces his inner Assassin and visited by many Assassins, surrounding him. That's when he decided that he would fight for the Assassins after revealing the hidden place of the Apple of Eden (pretty much too late, isn't it, Callum?)

But, (again, Spoiler) he made up for it at the end.

And I am very sure there's another Assassins Creed Movie in near future.
One will never let the movie end the way it did.

Well, that's all from me about my favorite gaming franchise's movie - Assassins Creed.

Him

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 15:30:00 +0000

when such a simple word of 'him'

meant a person instead of a mere word

when i heard the word,

thoughts flew to only one being

someone whom I never thought

would be big in my life

that only a simple word of 'him'

that my brain pointed directly

to him.

t'was towards the end of February

when the sight fell onto a slender silhouette

tall and fair, dimpled and impressive

just like how I pictured, always

immediately I thought of whats necessary

needs of talks arises like some kind of debt

showing calm, without being expressive

as I followed stepping out of doorways

there he stood, slender as ever

with two others talks and laughs

embarrassingly I joined with full smiles

the two introduced while he listened

whats next something he remembers

became inside jokes, forever, perhaps

he knew me, in preventive styles

which he regretted as we envisioned

the first meeting was way before

eleventh January to be very precise

like a damsel i required assistance

he came to help, thus how we first met

since then i vowed to have more

just be acquaintance would be very suffice

now we're more, regardless of distance

best of friends, more like a duet

to tell the truth there's more on my side

his images flashes whenever i'm awake

warming at first, very annoying as now

as I randomly smells of his manly perfume

feelings if any, i held all of it inside

unsure of any, afraid to make mistake

but very sure it'll bring me to my doom

but once I would like to record

this is the first that had happened

when that perfume I smell I think of one

seeing any body which is slender or slim

immediately him my brain moved toward

or seeing anyone with similar fashioned

with the simple word above means none

other than the man referred to as him

unknowingly so,

his feelings if its the same

preferred to keep it a secret

though I am not sure it is anymore

thinking he knew as he seemed so carefree

of teasing as if it was a mutual feeling

twas annoying but was very welcoming

probably of my feelings

that my heart unknowingly longed

after all these time

if he was, for me, my very own 'him'

then my search is over

because together,

our hearts would be mended.

An Ode from a Longing Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 14:37:00 +0000

As sun arises and vision start
Images of a silhouette appeared in dream
Bearing words and acts which rattle heart
All though in dream as much it seem

Illogical, say, as just awaken
Dream as none silhouette at near
The brain conjour he who has taken
Tucking string of heart that just now so clear

T'is an ode for one whom caught me surprise
Once so ordinary now whom cant be without
I show not my face let it all a disguise
Remained so until nothing is a doubt.

My very first Review of my very first book!

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 16:59:00 +0000

First of all, for those who had a copy of my book in their possession, I would like to say Thank you very much (spasiba - sorry I couldnt write it in cyrillic, I do not have cyrillic keyboard near me right now) for your support and I really hope you will enjoy reading my book, as it is my first. For those who had finish reading my book, I would appreciate it if you write your sincerest review in Goodreads so that I will be aware of the negative and positive aspects in my first book. So that I will not repeat the negatives in my second book, and enhance the positives.

You know how it is about reviews, right?

So I've received the very first review of my book from a fellow novelist. Oh thank you very much for your kind review! It made me pumped up. It's like i'm one of the hyperactive kids given sugar when I've read the review. I was like, so very excited.

Here is the review from hte fellow novelist. As I havent asked her permission (yep, the reviewer is a her) to share her review, so please understand why I scribbled off her name. (I should've gotten her permission first, huh? But I'm writing this at 12.49, so I doubt that she's still awake, so let me just post this first...okay....)

For those who would like to submit their review to me and not via goodreads you can do so by contacting me via facebook or my email address as written at the back of my books. Please note that I am not active on facebook and that I cannot view messenger's messaging invitation through PC and please be patient that I may not read your text as soon as you posted them. Unless you texted me through FB messages and not through messenger. I dont know how it is because I am a little confused of FB messenger. I dont know why the invitation to message via messenger cannot be viewed through facebook's messages.

Anyway, for those who had a copy of my book, read and give reviews yeah? They're very important...Heeeee

If you do not have a copy of my book yet and you're interested to buy one please go to Jemari Seni website and buy it from there. I am not sure if the bookstores already had copies of my books yet, but, I hope they do!

Till next time,

Happy Ramadhan!

Today is supposed to be Her 27th Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Fri, 03 Jun 2016 00:36:00 +0000

Diyana Azmina Mustafa Kamal was my roommate during our National Service days. She's kind, helpful and when I'm in raw with other roomates (Yep, I was that kind of person) she will be standing in the middle being the middle voice and voice of reason. She's nice that way, she's a good person. And like they said, the good die young.

She died nearly 5 years ago in 2011. Her death was caused by something about her colon - I am not really sure. And I knew about her death on her birthday two years later. And talk about guilt - I am feeling guilty to this day that I did not wish for her health and did not pray for her when she was sick. I did not know that she was sick. And when I did knew of her death, I spent hours praying for her. Not that I want to say I'm a good friend, but she is...was. And I was just compensating the loss of a good friend who's taken too early from this world.

And today is supposed to be her 27th birthday.

And I still feel guilty to this day.

Diyana Azmina, I know you wouldn't read this. Why would you when I've been a horrible friend?
But I hope that you forgive me for not knowing of your death and not praying for you for two years before I knew.

Al-Fatihah.
Diyana Azmina Mustafa Kamal
1989-2011

Anthology "Helo"

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sun, 29 May 2016 05:29:00 +0000

There's an offer for those who can write in Malay, for an Anthology book entitled "Helo".
For those who's interested to write a short story based on the word Helo (Whatever you wanted to write about, about phone calls, about greetings, about two people meeting for the first time after being pen pals for so long, or about the last name "hello"), you can learn about it more in JS Adiwarna facebook page!

I, on the other hand, couldnt write in Malay, but of course, one day I will try.
Nobody could understand the hardness for me to write in Malay, being a Malaysian and all, but Malay isnt my first language. It wasnt even my second language! It's my third language. So, no. My grammar in Malay is worst than my English, if you think that my English grammar is bad (in which I think so too).

I am pretty much interested to write something about Hello, but as I cannot write in Malay, I thought that it might be best that I used some of the ideas I have right now to add a few missing things in my new novels.

I'm planning to integrate some of the other languages that I've known in my new book. Probably Thai, or even Russian. But as I've had a chechen character in my first novel, It is very unlikely that I'll write of a Russian character in my second novel. Probably in my third or fourth novel, god's willing.

Anyway, about the anthology Hello, I wish everyone who participated in it good luck.

There is one thing that's certain.
I cant wait to read the book!

I think my muse left me right after I published my first novel.

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sun, 15 May 2016 05:24:00 +0000

Being an author, a published author that is, is what I really dreamed of since I was very young. Writing is just a hobby for me back then, but I have high hopes of being an author, that someday I will publish my book and have my name written at the bottom of the books.

Yep, high hope it is.

Now, my first book had been published....Released during 2016 PBAKL. My very first baby. The book that I've start written in 2012, finally completed in 2014. The book that my friends decided to send the manuscript on my behalf. The book that was finally accepted after my other manuscript was rejected. And I was overwhelmed.

Maybe that feeling had yet to leave me that every books I have written after that, every pages of it, seemed not to my expectation. I didnt feel the words I've written. I didn't get the vibes I was hoping for on every pages. I've reread all my books after I decided to publish my first book, the Terrorist's wife.

What's the meaning of this? Somehow I felt as if a part of me is empty. I cannot write anymore. I cannot express my views like I did before publishing my book. Why is it happening? All those scenarios I had, that I had imagined, that was desperately needed to be written - I've written it, pages after pages...and when I reread it, the feeling isnt there. I cannot do it anymore. The words I've used did not seem to bend into my will in order to convey what I wanted the story to feel like. When it was supposed to be sad, somehow, the words I've used seemed happy and cute. When I wanted to describe love, suddenly I've described sadness and longing.

Seriously, what is happening to me?

Is this what they said as a first-time author jinx?

Or has my muse left me?

Oh muse, return to me please, I need you so very much!

____________________________________________

Anyway for those of you who wanted to read my first book, the early chapters of The Terrorist's wife, you can do so by clicking here and follow the links.

If you want to read more of it after reading the early chapters, please do buy my books - online, starting June 2016! If you want an autograph-ed version, do tell me and I will try to arrange it with the publisher before sending to to you. ^^

And if you already bought my books, Thank you very much!!! I really appreciate it. Thanks for your support. If you enjoyed or did not enjoy my book, please write a review on my goodreads page. Click the picture of my book for direct link to the goodreads page:

Thank you very much for reading my ramblings today.
Come again and visit me!

Yours,
Fifi Y Phillipps

PBAKL or KLIBF 2016 and my book!

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sat, 07 May 2016 07:37:00 +0000

PBAKL (Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur / Kuala Lumpur International Book Fair) had started on 29 April and will end on 9 May 2016. I attended the second day, the 30th but I was only there for 30 minutes, give or take. It was such an unplanned visit that I have limited time there.

I was there for my new book.

yes.

I am a published author now.

My book is entitled The Terrorist's Wife, and will be formally published in June 2016 (as it said so in my book). It is about a woman whose life had been turned upside down when her angelic of a husband had been arrested for being a terrorist. And how she had been living in denial and disbelieve that she decided to find the truth for herself and hopefully release her husband.

So that's it. Feel free to buy my book beginning June 2016 at JemariSeni Website!!

If it is released in the nearest bookstore, I'll inform, yeah?

The feeling was sooooooooooo overwhelming.
I couldn't believe it! I mean, it is like a dream come true. I've been writing since I was twelve and I have lots of unfinished manuscript that now I've published one complete manuscript, I was like, addicted (if that is allowed) to publish more.

I dont know what to do during the meetings with other Authors. I mean, I was shaking all the way, I was like, I never ever imagined being a published author after spending many many years telling myself that my dreams would just remain a dream and can never come true. Now that it did...well, i hope anyone who meet me during PBAKL will forgive me for being such a mess and doesnt know what to do, because I never prepared myself for the day my book is finally published. I was shaking even by holding the books in my hands!

And I am still overwhelmed now that I dont even know what to write. It is so unusual for Fifi Phillipps to write such a short entry. And it only happened just a couple times before.
Ha Ha Ha

So come and visit JS booth at PBAKL @ MAEPS!!
(UPDATE, it ended now)

So come and buy my books and write a review in Goodread's website!!
Positive or negative comments, I wouldnt mind. The positive will keep me going and the negative ones will drive me to be better!

Yours sincerely,

Fifi

My Krabi Trip: The Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Thu, 28 Apr 2016 07:09:00 +0000

Ceh, the title so very dramatic lah.

Hahaha

But seriously, I wanted to share about my experience in Krabi.

I arrived on 17 April 2016 after two flights. Oh, my headache! I felt like my head was going to burst off and I couldnt wait to get my feet on land. Then, I arrived at Krabi International Airport.

Honestly, It wasnt the kind of Airport that I've expected. I've expected to see somekind like Kuching International Airport, of being an International Airport even though less grander than the KLIA or even KLIA2. But it is more like a secondary Airport here in Sarawak, like Miri Airport, or even Bintulu Airport. It was small, yes, but it can accommodate foreigners. So there's that.

KCH-KUL-KBV Flights

Before entering Thailand you're given these cards, and you have to fill in everything.

It's for immigration purposes.

Welcome to Krabi International Airport.

My very clean passport

Then I booked a transport ticket to Ao Nang, towards our hotel. The ride was pleasant but their culture of driving is quite different from us Kuchingites. They honk at every opportunities, while we, Kuchingites, never honks. They honk to tell someone in front to give way to them. I still remember when Mr Sayan, my acquaintance from Thailand, drove my car and he honked, I told him, You dont have to honk in Kuching. If you want to overtake just overtake when the line is clear. If it is not, then you wait for the opportunity. Just dont Honk.

Maybe that's the culture talking, but that's one of the things that's different that I see. But I just have to get use to it. Because I'm not in Kuching. That's the whole purpose of travelling, is it not, to observe other's culture and differences?

The taxi driver stopped for a while at the taxi station while there's a lady asking us to get in her shop for some tour package deals. They said it's very cheap and stuffs, but I've known that their prices would be higher than those you can haggle for at those shops near Ao Nang beach. After saying no multiple tiles to the lady, we continued to go to Ao Nang where our hotel stood waiting.

In the private taxi

We checked into the hotel at about 2 o'clock Krabi Time (Thailand GMT +7), and after getting used to everything in the room, we went out for a walk to Ao Nang Beach, going there using Tuk Tuk.

My Hotel

You could guess by my posture that I'm very tired but I still wanted to walk around Ao Nang.

Ao Nang Beach

There's boxing matches 18 April 2016. The boxers look soooo young.

This is the middle of Ao Nang Beach. Sorry for the woman in front. Even though my friend is pointing her camera at me, She still walks towards the landmark and pose while her husband readied his camera. Seriously. I think it is common knowledge that when people pose for photos you just dont enter the frame. But then maybe that's only Malaysian common knowledge, I dont know.

At least I can say that I was photobombed by a Chinese tourist.

Ok I know I'm not pretty, but I really wanted to post a selfie here..XD

Part of the fish landmark. And Krabian do look like these. With their slender built and tough hands and legs. Oh, one Krabian I know have veiny hands. Like really veiny hands.

We bought tour packages around Ao Nang Beach at the stronger travel agency. They gave us good price so we buy from them. Then, after more walks along the beaches, we took some pictures and we left the beach for late lunch aka early dinner and then we went back to our hotel.

The moneys......

DAY TWO

This guy accompany me while the driver from Ao Nang Speedboat Tour come pick us up. I dont know whether it's a girl or a boy but it is owned, because there's a bell there.

Our hands with the AoNang Speed Boat Tour wristband. There's a lot of people there so the tour agency have this as an identification.

At the Ao Nang Pier.

Even looking at these pictures triggers my calm moods.

Once upon a tree.

Upon googling, I found out that the two characters formed "Kim"

If you want to have the same tour guide as I am (his name is YAN and he's very funny), call this number for package inquiry: +66-087-8843162

The Speedboat View

Our first stop: The Bamboo Island

Coral washed onto the shore.

Look at how clear the waters were

Second stop: Viking Cave.

We only passed through as it is a government protected place.

The waters....OMG

Next up: MAYA BAY.

Too many people so I dont enjoy it much. It is beautiful, of course, but the people made me felt like If I can choose, I wouldn't go here that day.

See...Too many people that you cannot have a decent selfie without being suffocated.

Nah I'm exaggerating.

But still I took pictures...and posed.

Next UP: Monkey Island. See the Monkey???

Last stop before snorkeling: PHI PHI DON ISLAND

The attraction of them all.

We have lunch here too.

Very Thai-Like

Phi phi Don

Then we snorkel at PHI PHI LEY

And then we head home. This is what they gave us for refreshments, along with many bottled cold waters. Ah, refreshing.

Haha, I wanted to show you that this is made in Thailand. Seen so many products of Malaysia, It is nice to see a product of Thailand once in a while. Ceh, even my hair products are products of Thailand. So I've been seeing Products of Thailand everywhere before I'm in Krabi. But then again, seeing this in Krabi really tells me that I have stepped foot on the land of the elephant.

At the end of the day, I am Pink. (The next day the pink turns brown.)

DAY 3

We go sightseeing today before our Hong Island tour.

The Ao Nang Mosque

Ao Nang Road

See the green hooded thing? That's a Tuk Tuk.

If you didnt already know.

Like a Fishery Hatchery. As I was a Fishery Data Analyst, I found this intriguing.

The Hong Island Pier. I think that's what it said.

Any Thais here? Help me translate please..hehe

Yep I have Thai Friends but i dont want to bother them.

So We got in the speedboat and we went cruising! It only took about 20 minutes to our destination. Here are the scenery we encountered.

Inside the speedboat

Entrance to Hong Lagoon. Our First destination

Me at Hong Island. See how the Pinks turned Brown?

The clear waters of Hong Lagoon

Around Hong Island

Second destination: At Koh Phak Bia

Forgive my elatedness here in Koh Phak Bia

Fishy! Why are you sleeping!

Geddit?

Next up: Koh Lao La Ding.

We have lunch here

Again, forgive my elatedness. Haha

Our Third Destination: Hong Island Beach

See how clear the Hong Island Beach waters?

I learnt how to write my name in Thai from a friend. Once I finished it, someone stepped on it!

Urgh!

And I've become darker and darker with each boat ride.

But it's worth it

Time to go back to Hotel.

So that way is Phuket....Okay.....

Day 4: DEPARTURE DAY.

We packed that night and early morning. So once the clock strike 11, we checked out of our hotel and the taxi driver brought us to the airport. We went pass this restaurant on our way back. it is in front of Shell.

But that's the end of it. There's no more photo I took after this. So this is the end of my photo journey. Ceh..hahaha...reaaallll dramatic!

So here it is, my 2 full days of Krabi Experience.
Oh, I'm lost for words. Really, I miss this place like a lot.

My Krabi Trip (17 - 20 April 2016) "The Breakdown Budget"

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 04:16:00 +0000

Hi!

I've been dreaming to go to Krabi since forever. For me, it is an ideal place for vacation. People dubbed it as 'Heaven on Earth' (no, not the drink. I didn't mean the drink, please don't sue me) - and I agree with them. It is a perfect place to relax, recharge yourselves before you go on another week of work. Trust me. Krabi is that kind of place.

So my Krabi trip was, as my entry title had proudly stated, on 17 until 20 April 2016. I had planned and booked the tickets for a good six months (yes, I had bought the tickets in October, right after my birthday as a birthday gift to myself from myself). As I was so excited buying the tickets, it was only after purchasing that I remembered that if i go on that date and return on 20th April, I will miss my brother's birthday. I did apologized to him, in which he forgave me (I returned home that day after buying the tickets and straightaway apologize).

But you dont want to read about my adventure buying the tickets. And yes, thankfully, that's not the whole purpose of this entry.

So, without further ado, below is the breakdown of Budget for my Krabi Trip that I have to spend before I even step foot on the Heaven on Earth (again, don't sue me).

BUDGET BEFORE SETTING FOOT ON KRABI
::This is all calculated per person::

Air Ticket
a) KCH/KLIA2/KCH - RM238
*Airasia Promo, including luggage and including direct debiting fee.
b) KLIA2/KBV/KLIA2 - RM275
*This is AirAsia Promo, but I purchased travel protection. And then there's GST, Airport Tax, etc etc...

Hotel
Ao Nang Miti Resort (This hotel is equipped with own swimming pool!)
RM144.70 per night including extra bed
--but it is quite far from the beach, walking distance. But if you dont mind some exercise, why not?

Passport: RM200 for 5 years

Total: RM857.70 (w/o passport - RM657.70)

Yep, that's the breakdown of the moneys we spent before we even arrive in Krabi. You know how the economy's like nowadays. Even spending RM700 (I didn't take the passport into account, because I don't get the passport only for Krabi Trip) before stepping on Krabi soil is actually quite rewarding for me. As I had spent RM513 six month before, and RM435 in around December for the hotel, I still can afford saving moneys for my trip in April. Thankfully.

And thankfully too the MYR is stabilizing by the time I was in Krabi. I still remember in 29 September last year the MYR was at 4.4580 against USD. See, I got good memories, so you can assure that my breakdown budget is true to the cent. I did not estimate. Wow. I exaggerated. That's so me, right?

So for the guys (this 'guys' context actually includes girls) from KL, you only have to spend RM419.70 for the air tickets and hotel.

So, now let's see my budget breakdown for when I was in Krabi, shall we? From this point onwards I will use THB directly, but, at the end of each day I will convert to MYR for easier computing.

with the latest conversion (as per 24 April 2016) at 100THB = 11.75MYR

ARRIVAL DAY
17 April 2016

Taxi
From Krabi Airport (KBV) to Ao Nang* = 600THB / 200THB per person
Travel time= ~45 minutes

*We're going to Ao Nang instead of Krabi Town as we're going to Krabi because of the beaches.
The taxi can accommodate 4 persons, so if you're in a group of four (or nearly four, I go there with two other friends), you can use the taxi! It's more comfortable, though, rather than you go by bus and there's everyone cramping in the bus. Oh, the bus is much cheaper too, about ~150THB per person, but the travel time is pretty much the same. And if you go by bus, you have to wait until everyone is on board then you can go. So, as we're experiencing dizziness as the result of the double flying in one day, we decided to get a taxi.

IMPORTANT
The taxi driver will stop at a taxi station and a lady/a man (depends) will come to the taxi while you wait and ask you to step inside their shop to discuss activity you would like to do. Dont purchase your day trip tour package here. It's expensive despite their sayings that they are cheap. Tell them some white lies that you've bought your package prior and stuffs like that, okay? Trust me.

Foods
We bought food at a halal restaurant, which is quite expensive. Our hotel is situated quite far from all the stalls, so If you can go to the stalls, please do so. They're much more cheaper and tastier. Dont worry, the stall foods are Halal, as 90% of Krabian (is that a thing?) are Muslim. I know this - I have a friend from Krabi and he helped me a lot.

Yep. Just a friend.
Although....
Wait, never mind, I will talk about that friend in another entry.

So our food for that day (as we only bought for a late lunch) was around 450THB; per person = 150THB

Tour Package

We bought the Day 1 and Day 2 Daily Tour Package on our Arrival Day, as the packages must be bought at least one day before. We bought our tour at Stronger Travel Agency. There's a Muslim lady at front and we talked Muslim to Muslim, and she's cool. She's the one telling us which package is cheaper and worth our time.

Phi Phi Island Tour using Speedboat = 850THB per person
I know it stated there as Phi Phi Island but we did visit some other Islands. It's like Island hopping, only that the tour package is named as such. As we're there not in a peak season, the price is much cheaper than during the peak season. Plus, you can haggle.

There were prices such as 1000THB, 1500THB, but we got it for 850THB, including Halal Lunch buffet and drinks on board but excluding 400THB National Park Entrance Fee.
So, our Phi Phi Island Tour with Ao Nang Speedboat Tour is costed 1250THB per person.
Which is cool.

We bought another Package: Hong Island Tour (Oh, this place is absolutely beautiful!) for day 2. It is a half day tour and we bought altogether a Kayaking tour at the afternoon. The Hong Island half day tour is at 600THB including lunch, drinks on board and stuffs. We're using the Krabi Discovery Tour package. And the Kayaking, we have to add another 400THB, and the Entrance fee was 300THB. All together, the whole package was 1300THB, while the actual price was 1650THB exclude entrance fee. See, you can haggle. We saved about more than 600THB for this day 2 package.

Transport
We travelled by Tuk Tuk to and from the Ao Nang Beach to the hotel, each way is 100THB, so we spent 200THB on Tuk Tuk. 200/3=67THB per person.

TOTAL FOR ARRIVAL DAY= 2967THB (I actually pay the entrance fee during the package, but I just put it here for easier computing)
Ringgit conversion = 348.63MYR

DAY 1
18 APRIL 2016

We didnt need to have many spendings today as we have, as you know, bought the day trips together with lunches on the arrival day.

Foods
Of course we need to eat after such long days under the sun, and, well, as we love na'an bread, we go and find one. Yes. For dinner.
The total that day was quite the same with the day before, so our dinner was at 450THB, with 150THB per person.

Souvenir
We started to buy our souvenir at this point. We found a shop (I dont remember the name of the shop, but there's a beautiful Filipino woman sitting around outside. She's the shopkeeper), that gave us a very good price, like 4 packs (1 pack = 5 keychains) of keychain for only 300THB, while the other shop sells one pack for 100THB. She also sold us 1 pack for 80THB so quite cheap, yes.
I bought 2 packs of keychains, and as I bought it together with my friends, so i get two for 150THB. I bought 2 shirts and one pair of hand made newborn shoes too, at the price of 680THB (shirts 200THB/pair, shoes at 280THB. Original price for the shirt was 250THB, while the shoes at 350THB).

Transport
We travelled by tuktuk from Ao Nang Beach back to our hotel.
From our hotel that morning, the travel agency brought us to the pier for the tour package, and afterwards, after the tour ended, we asked them to send us to the Ao Nang Beach for souvenir shopping. And dinner. So, Tuk Tuk for the day is 100THB. It is my friend's turn to pay this so I didnt include this in my transport budget, but I still had to jot this in somehow.

TOTAL FOR DAY 1= 980THB
Ringgit Conversion= 115.15MYR

DAY 2
19 April 2016 (My little brother's birthday! And my bestie's birthday too!)

Foods
As per usual our dinner costs around 150THB per person. As we suddenly craved Malaysian food, we bought Fried Rice each, with a touch of Thai. Uh, How can i describe this? There's a touch of Thai in it, as you could taste the soury flavour. Is that even a word, Soury?

Souvenir
Ah, I bought the most souvenirs on this day. I bought four adult I love Krabi shirt (different designs, of course), each at 150THB (because we bought many-many, like they say. Original price was at 250THB). I bought four more keychains, at the same shop, at 300THB.
So Shirt + Souvenirs = 900THB

Transport
Again, see Transport for Day 1
Tuk Tuk= 100THB (This is my turn to pay~)

TOTAL FOR DAY 3= 1150THB
Ringgit Conversion= 135.13 MYR

DAY 4 - RETURN
DEPARTURE DAY
20 APRIL 2016

Okay, this day is a bit sad. I was actually feeling quite sad leaving Krabi as opposed to whatever I usually feel when I went travelling (usually when I was travelling, on the Return day, I couldnt wait to go to the airport because I miss my bed at home). But today, it is a bit sad. Maybe because I have many friends in Thailand, and even though they're not in Krabi at the time of my visit, I felt somehow close to them. Of course, Krabi is way closer than Kuching to Bangkok where they work, so maybe that is why I felt quite lost. Do you feel me?

Anyway, the trip has been so much fun. But it is time to say goodbye.

So, during the few hours left in Krabi, I use the time left (I'm leaving in midday) for lunch! We have lunch at the Airport at 300THB total, so it is 100THB per person.

I also bought a beautiful Chang bag (Chang is elephant) for my mum and my sister's beautiful trousers, each at 250THB. So I spent 500THB on souvenirs (Because I wanted to just finish up all my THB)

Taxi
Ao Nang to Krabi Airport (We brought from Stronger Travel, we have a deduction!)
= 500THB / 167THB per person

Total for Departure Day= 767THB
Ringgit Conversion= 90.13MYR

So! Here it is my breakdown budget for my April Krabi Trip. And yes, I plan to go again to this Heaven on Earth (please refer to my previous plead) anytime soon. Once I've gathered enough moneys. Ha ha.

The total expenditure for my Krabi Trip is as follows (in MYR)

Before = 657.70
During Trip = 689.04
So, Before + Day 1 + Day 2 + Day 3 + Day 4
= 657.70 + 348.63 + 115.15 + 135.13 + 90.13

GRAND TOTAL = 1,346.74

For your information, I converted 705MYR to Baht ~ 6000, so, I got a balance of 127THB left. I gave 100THB to my brother for his collection of foreign currencies (plus, it is his birthday that I missed), Gave 20 for my sister and the other 7 is for my own keepsakes.

Oh, I hope this gives quite an insight for you to plan your spendings. For those from KUL, you can probably spend within 1,000MYR because you didnt need to buy extra air tickets from KCH to KUL.
But, If you're from the peninsular and you love adventure, why dont you try hopping on a train? It is much cheaper!

This is CUTE! in October 2015, a couple celebrated their 60th anniversary with UP theme!

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Mon, 09 Nov 2015 12:12:00 +0000

Ok, this is definitely relationship goals.
And Piano goals.
Must find someone with Piano skills. XD
kidding...kidding.. of course
Am I?

Anyway, enjoy the video! Like I did

Touched.

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 11:19:00 +0000

There's a man in the vessel, a man we all lovingly are friends with, the man whom I first know on board because he told me his name, even though we always get language barrier because he didn't speak English (in which I am thankful for my 1/6 British heritage)...and I am touched with him.

I know, looking by his face that he's a player, but he was actually quite nice...and a great guy!

Well, the first time I was touched with him was when I first introduce myself to him and he called me every five minutes. He was working in the galley, and he called my name just to know where I am at. And it was a nice gesture, telling me that he cares.

And he tried to stuff me with foods. But all the foods were spicy and my stomach aren't made for spicy foods, so I had to decline.

Some people on board told me he likes me. But by that time, I had liked another. My heart was only meant to be filled with one, so I cannot like two persons at a time. But, as I had known him (he was honestly cute and fair) earlier than the other guy, honestly, there's one time during the early parts of when I started to join the management of the cruise, I had a feeling, a mild, I-Like-Looking-At-His-Face feeling.

So yeah...i was touched. And he had a girlfriend and almost two kids...
So he couldn't've liked me (maybe only as a friend) and we're only friends.
(this isnt Friendzone-ing ok)

By the way...

When they had moved away, he still remembers me and gave me a shawl from the place he was in...it was a nice gesture. I was touched that out of ~20 people on board that i have known (including the guy i like), He remembered me and he gave me a parting gift!

I was so touched, I cried.
.
Thank you so much, Mr. TP. I will forever remember you.
Just as long as you remember me.

Have a safe trip back to Bangkok!

How to recover hidden files from your USB Flash Drive!

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:18:00 +0000

Your USB Flash Drive is suddenly wiped clean, but in the Windows Explorer, you can see your PD (Pendrive) is filled?

I came across this problem last year, and thanks Google that I have this solution! There are two steps you have to follow. Oh, forgive me for my level one English, but I hope it's understandable.

STEP ONE
1. Go to Windows Explorer.
2. Go to Tools (if you cant see Tools, press Alt, and there will be a bar above "Organize" & "New Library")
3. Choose Folder Option.
4. Click View
5. Under Files and Folders, at the Hidden Files and Folder, choose Show Hidden Files, Folder and Drive. Click Apply and Ok.
6. Check inside your PD. Is your file there yet? If it is, Congrats! If no, proceed to STEP TWO

STEP 2
7. Click Start
8. At the search bar (or Run, people might call it), type "cmd" and enter.
9. You'll see command prompt. Type your disc file letter. If your PD is (F:), type F: (If your PD is (D:), type D: ) then enter.
10. You'll see another line under it, with D:\>
11. type in "attrib -s -h -r /s /d" (without quotation marks) and enter.
12. Try to see in your PD folder - did your files recovered?

I tried only these two steps to recover my files and everything was fine.
And i hope this will help those out there who's searching for solution!

Thanks for reading.
Again, sorry for my English.

Remembering Jules Bianchi

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 03:44:00 +0000

I know that I dont know him personally, but still, there's some times when I lay down and the thoughts of him pops to my head. How did he felt when he was going through the nine silent months?

And that's what I wanted to write today.

I dont want that to be the lingering memory of him. I wanted to remember him as the smiling happy person that touches everyone's heart. I wanted to remember him like that.

Like when you open a google search about him, you'll get images of him, like in a memory-like.
(but now when i search for him, there's a lot of his pictures, smiling. That's more i like it).

So this is me, just rambling on monday morning as I remembered Jules Bianchi.

A champion of our hearts.

#UPDATE#

Just reading something on Quantum Immortality (or something), that someone who died in our Universe, can be still alive in another universe. Maybe in another Universe Jules, who wasnt a formula one driver was still alive, and was now already having a wife and kids with the girlfriend. Or, if he is a formula one, probably in another universe, he didnt had that crash in Suzuka, and would now had a great contract with Ferrari in 2016. Or, if he did had that crash, the collapse he had didnt happen.

That's the life that could never been. A loss that could never be recovered.

Whatever it is, it was only in the other universe. This universe had lost a great man. And he will forever be in our hearts.

Jules Bianchi Died of Suzuka Injuries (3 August 1989 - 17 July 2015)

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 16:04:00 +0000

the most iconic gif of Jules, where he wiped his helmet during race stop.

It is a sad sad day for the world of Formula One and Motorracing. Jules Bianchi, a rising star, died from a injuries of a crash he had in Japanese Grand Prix, Suzuka, October last year. The crash happened only days prior to my birthday. So it doubled up the sadness I had.

the Jules Bianchi Suzuka Crash

I had blogged last year about Jules Bianchi woke up - he was actually out of his artificial induced coma, and could breath unaided - he wasnt waking up completely. He never did.

He had diffused axional injuries, if i am not mistaken (refer his wikipedia page) - that was the injuries he sustained from the horrible crash with the tractor which was clearing the track off Adrian Sutil's car. Adrian Sutil crashed at the same corner, but he crashed to a cushioned, tyre-lined concrete wall, if i am not mistaken, but Jules was unlucky, and he crashed onto the tractor which moved Adrian Sutil's car out of the way.

My prayers are with your families and loved ones, Jules. To your friends and everyone who knew you personally, be strong. I am just a fan whom Jules had no knowledge I had existed, but I felt the burden of losing him.

I also had blogged earlier, and had numerous tweets about him. I blogged about the tribute to Jules Bianchi, which I had hoped when he woke up from his coma, he could open the page and view all those tribute they made for him on the next race after Japanese Grand Prix last year. But he never had a chance for it. We had lost him. We had lost a fighter. We had lost a racer, a great one. He could've been a winner, but God loves him more. God wants him by His side. And who are we to deny it?

I had tweeted, mentioning him, everytime i felt like missing him. And now, I will miss him more, now that i know he was no more. Now that I know i never had an opportunity to fulfill my number 17th on my bucket list - meeting Jules Bianchi in person. You'll be sorely missed. I know it, because I already miss you now, Jules. Even though I never knew you personally.

I hope you're happy there now. I hope your family and loved ones are strong to get through the days without you. I hope they get their chances to say goodbye, like how I cant. But this is it. This is my goodbye to you, Jules. Goodbye.

Oh, and your smiles always soothes me. Whenever I am stressed, I could just play some gifs where you're smiling and I'll be relaxing. Whenever people asked whose smile I like the most, I wouldnt say Fernando Alonso's or Nico Hulkenberg's. Jules' smiles is the second in the rank, after my mother, and before my future husband (whom i have yet to know his identity, but i hope he ranks above Alonso and Hulkenberg - I wouldnt worry he outrank Jules, because he never will).

Here are the Gifs I found online. To remind us what a great person who had lived on this earth. To remind us what a happy person he was. To remind us what a kind person we lost. To remind us what a potential he had. To remind us of a life he had, living the dream as a formula one racer.

Look at him hiding his red bull can, probably as an attempt to not offend his sponsors :')

Rest In Peace, Requiescat in Pace, Jules Bianchi.

We will always remember you. We will always miss you. Our love for you will never fade.
You will forever in our hearts.
The warmth of his smiles will always haunt me. In a good way.

p/s: I hope, after this, there will no more racers to die of Formula One race crash injuries. We had hoped for this after late Ayrton Senna (peace be with his soul), but Jules Bianchi (peace be with his soul too) happened. I dont think the safe cockpit design for formula one is hideous. I think it is great. and safe.

And JB also stood for Jenson Button, so JB17 always meant Jules, while JB22 meant Jenson. Just Saying.

The Mentalist Finale

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 18:08:00 +0000

It all happened like symmetry, that's how I think I'm going to describe that.

And for better or worse, I finished watching the episode at 1.55 am Friday Morning, and it is bad. I never stayed up this late after my University days.

But this is not what I wanted to talk about (if you have seen my other entries, you can see I say that a lot because sometimes my hand wrote something out of the topic because my brain sometimes went out branching to another stories before my other part of the brain - probably my logical ones, I dont know, I dont know anything about cognitive - finally acknowledge that I'm actually wanted to talk about something entirely different when I wrote this post). I'm gonna talk about The Mentalist, which ends Thursday, about 9.30-10.15am Malaysian time.

I said about late sleeping time to tell you how much I wanted to really watch it, because I do not have time to stream the episode at the airing time - I was at a different place with not quite good internet line. So I have to stream it at right after 12.30 am Friday. And now I'm Branching again.

Getting back on the topic - like i said, it happened like a symmetry, like something that happened in repeat, only in this case, it is not on repeat. it is of similar things, but it is of opposite things. Get it?

Well, let me give you some examples.

Lets state up the obvious first. On the last episode of the Mentalist, Jane and Lisbon got married, and Lisbon revealed later that she's pregnant. Both happened at the very end of the episode. This is significant. When we first introduced to Jane by the series in the first episode, at that very end of the first episode, it was revealed that Jane had lost his wife and daughter to Red John, a serial killer (I'll get to the serial killer thing later).

Pretty Wedding dress, huh? But Jane looks like how he always looked. I would prefer if he, somehow, had a new hair cut or something...

So, the first episode we know that Jane had lost a wife and a kid.
And at the last episode, we know that Jane have gained a wife and a kid.

awwww

That's the kind of opposite I was telling you about.

The Serial Killer thingy was also quite the kind of opposite I want to tell. At the first episode, we were exposed to Red John, getting to know him, getting to learn about him, his symbol or something. In the last episode, however, the team was putting an end to Lazarus, a serial killer.

So, the first episode we getting to know a serial killer.
and at the last episode, the team putting an end to a serial killer.

So that's it....only two obvious opposite thingies that i've discovered, hoping to discover more along the way.

the matrimony

Ah, the Mentalist had ended. End of an era.

I loved the character so much (not in love, but loved) that he inspired me to be someone who can read someone else. But i couldnt. I just dont have the eye. But if someone could teach me, I'm a great student. A fast learner in fact.

So, goodbye guys..thanks for the network who brought The Mentalist for us. It's a great show and I'm going to miss all the characters and all the episodes...There's just not one series like it.

Goodbye.

Photo credit: Ibtimes.co.uk

Syamin Jasmi @ Hills Yesterday Y'all!

noreply@blogger.com (Fifi Phillipps) — Mon, 15 Sep 2014 01:37:00 +0000

Yep, the one and only Syamin Jasmi, the young man with a beautiful voice performed at The Hills yesterday. He performed as a part of an opening act for Afgan's Live to Love.....something....Honestly I forgot...Dont bash me, Afganisme, you cant blame me for not into your Afgan.

I am there not for Afgan, surely, but if given a chance to hear the voice of Afgan live, well, i couldnt resist. But I am there for Syamin Jasmi, whom I had known to sing very well live. I enjoyed his song, his single, Lagi & Lagi, even though I couldn't really see him! Well, I dont think many people knew his song, but after that day, i think lots of people were searching the web for his song! Dont worry, dearies, the MP3 is not released yet, but if you wanted to hear his song, you can go to Youtube and type his name!

Dont worry, I will embed the video here too...

It is a very nice song! The song is very addictive that it totally filled the empty parts of my brain and it follows me everywhere I go. It is THAT addictive. I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.. Come on, play it!

Yeah, speaking of not being able to see him during his performance and didnt get to cramp in during his selfie session on stage, I get to see him back stage! So i get that going on for me which is nice (VERY nice)

Although there were a lot of people pushing and pushing to get his pic, I get to take a pic with him too!

Well, he is a big name in the making!

Wish you a very good luck and We will always support you, Syamin Jasmi!

So, Cheers for you! <3 p="">
The last pic is of Aneurin Barnard, which has nothing to do with what I have posted, but as I am a big fan of Aneurin Barnard, I really wanted him to be in this post as Syamin Jasmi. Hence, I searched for his photo and found him cheers-ing! XD