Serendipity

Warning Labels (Humor)

2013-05-21T09:03:00.000-04:00

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods....

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Have a great day! :)

38 hours without the Internet

2013-04-27T14:51:00.000-04:00

You know the old saying about 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone'? Well, in today's world, that really holds true for most of us...because of all the technology that we have available to us. Cell phones, computers, the internet...etc.

We don't think about it...99.9% of the time it's right there. We turn on the computer and we are connected right away with the world. Turn on our cell phones and we have instant access to anyone we wish or need to call.

Then 'poof' it's gone in an instant.

Wednesday evening, around 7 p.m., I'm on the computer, checking emails, reading things on my wall on Facebook, checking my Etsy store...one minute I was connected...and the next, no internet.

None.

Gone.

We waited about an hour, thinking maybe the storm that had rolled through our area at about the same time had knocked something out temporarily, but after an hour and a half I called to find out if maybe something else was wrong. The service tech and I were on the phone a good 45 minutes, trying everything...and the conclusion was that the modem had died. We'd get a new one within a day...or two.

Thursday, I called the service department again and received a message that the internet service was down for our whole area, however there was no given time frame as to when the repairs would be completed.

Bummer.

Well, even though I am on and off the computer all day and into early evening, I was still at a loss not having that immediate access to the sites I frequent. No looking up something, no interaction with my friends, just a darkened monitor and a quiet tower.

I am thankful though that I come from a time when there was no such thing as internet, that I have books to read, crocheting to do...things to fill my idle time. Yet...I still felt that loss, you know? Even I am addicted to that instant technology! Sigh.......

Yesterday morning (Friday) the UPS truck came and dropped off the modem and being the geeky person that I can be, I got everything hooked-up and within 5 minutes, I was back online. At last!!!

38 hours without the internet was 38 hours too long!

Wow!

Do you remember this ad?

Thanks for stopping by...

Preening mourning dove (Photo blog)

2013-04-18T08:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, 4/17/2013, I had the chance to actually catch a mourning dove preening in the tree off from our back deck. At first glimpse, I thought something was wrong with the bird because its feathers were all ruffled...then as I watched and let the shutter click and click...I could see that it actually was cleaning itself!

There's not a whole lot more that I can say...I'll let the photos do the talking!

Enjoy!

A while later, I walked out on the back deck and the dove had left evidence behind of its cleaning itself...several fathers lay on the ground.

There is no doubt that birds are amazing to watch...try it sometime!

Have a great day!

Birdfeeder Diaries, 2013

2013-04-14T10:34:00.001-04:00

Blue Jay, 4/4/13

Spring has sprung and with it, so have the birds returned to the bird feeder. I am going to continue trying for some great shots of the birds that come to our yard to eat and visit...and here are some recent shots of the birds!

The first birds that came back to the field behind our home, are the geese. This year though, the couple that visited daily last Spring, has grown to a flock of some 20 birds. However, I am thinking that these two are the ones from last year, they can usually be found not far from the edge of the yard.

3/26/13

4/7/13

The next ones that I got photos of are the cardinals...they have hung around most of the Winter, but seemed to have no problem finding the feeder once I put it out.

3/30/13

4/9/13

Sparrows are almost always present at the feeder...

4/6/13

And a new arrival this past week...the Red-Winged Black bird!

4/9/13

Mourning doves have also remained here all Winter long...and have found the feeder as well.

3/30/13

There are more birds due to arrive...the dreaded Grackles, the lovely yellow and black finches, chickadees, nuthatches...and I'm sure there are more that I am missing!

4/7/13
Geese coming for breakfast in the field behind us!

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the photos!

Home Remedies (Humor)

2013-04-12T19:59:00.000-04:00

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

(From another email...!)

Thanks for stopping by!

7% (Written by a 90 year old) (Inspiration)

2013-03-31T16:10:00.001-04:00

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

[**This was an email that came to me, and the wisdom here is worth sharing a thousand times over!]

Thanks for reading!
D.

Punography (Humor from FB!)

2013-03-30T20:25:00.000-04:00

I can't claim this as my own...it was on FB! Enjoy!

March 2013 images

2013-03-22T10:21:00.001-04:00

Geese have come to visit...

So, I've been lax about adding too many posts lately, but it's not out of laziness...but either being busy or having problems with my shoulders (in which I have tendonitis in both rotor cuffs). However, I still have been taking photos...which I can do with one hand, thankfully!

So here is a collection of photos I've taken this month...from frosted hillsides to feeding deer and honking geese. Enjoy!

March, so far, has been a very snowy, blustery and snowy month for us here in upstate, New York. These next 5 photos were taken on March 3rd, 2013...and as you can see, we've had frosted trees, and a bit of snow to boot. Out of this particular storm, we received about 3-4 inches of snow when it was all said and done.

At the break of dawn almost every morning, I have had the delight of seeing deer out behind our house in the field. The herd itself, totals no less than 18 deer, but within the herd are two distinct groups, which more-or-less travel a bit apart and rarely mingle.

In these next 5 photos, are deer from the first group that passed through on this morning, March 6th. (I apologize for the photos not being wonderfully clear, I was shooting out through the kitchen door. Had I gone outside, they all would have bolted.)

Sunrise, March 10th, was a sight to see...purples, blues, pinks and yellows:

And a little later, a lonely crow sat in the top of a tree:

These photos below, are of the second group of deer that wandered through about 7:30 a.m., March 15th. Because there was more daylight to work with, these photos turned out much clearer.

One morning, late, I happened to walk into the kitchen and something really bright caught my eye! Mr. Cardinal had come to visit!

And so did, Mrs. Cardinal!

But even more exciting to me, was seeing geese back in the field, throughout the day! On this day, March 19th, the field was loaded with geese!

Yesterday, the 21st, I was really lucky that the pair below, had gotten very close to the edge of our yard! And boy...were they noisy!

I hope you have enjoyed the photos...more soon! Thanks for stopping by!

More definitions....(Humor)

2013-03-16T11:43:00.000-04:00

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize: What a crook sees with.

Control: A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse: what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes: what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty: How golfers create divots.

Paradox: two physicians.

Parasites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist: a helper on the farm.

Polarize: what penguins in Antarctica see.

Primate: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief: what trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck: what you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress: describes 200 pounds in a size two.

Selfish: what the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued: a guy, that works on one of those submarines.

Sudafed: bringing litigation against a government official

Have a good day folks! :)

My Mother (Humor)

2013-03-08T08:34:00.003-05:00

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father."

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home."

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

How many of these did your mother teach? AND how many did you teach your children?

I think my mom taught me every one of these, and yes...I am guilty of teaching my kids the same thing! :)

Thanks for stopping by...have a great day!

Keeping busy and a new shop

2013-02-12T18:15:00.001-05:00

crocheted flower bookmark

I again, have to apologize for my absence...but I have found a way to keep busy, which is doing another thing that I love: crocheting! With these cold Winter days, and no need to go out, and as we know, one can only clean so much (!)...it was time to find something I could do, that would not only occupy me, but work as a kind of physical therapy on my hands.

With the onset of having tendonitis in both rotor cuffs, I have also developed calcium deposits in the palm my right hand, on the bones, which creates a lot of stiffness and makes my fingers lock up. (Left hand...same thing, but I am right-handed.) I needed some 'thing' to do that would keep my fingers from staying stiff...so I went back to what I really enjoy doing during the Winter.

I have made doilies, bookmarks, baskets/bowls, pot holders, scarves for my grandchildren, and the list goes on. It was through a sweet friend, that I opened an Etsy shop to sell many of my creations. I named the shop: Serendipitousmakings. (What else! LOL)

Here are some of the things I've made in the last month or so...

Basket/bowl

bookmark

doily

another basket/bowl

lidded basket/bowl...all my own creation!

cross bookmark

scarf

light green doily

white doily

pot holders (made for my daughter)

latest scarves I made for my grandchildren

If you are interested, please stop by my Etsy shop...and see what I am up to! If you are living outside of the US, you can message me at my shop and we can discuss price and shipping costs to where you live! Never hesitate to ask!

Thanks for stopping by...

Paying it forward: The BMW

2013-01-11T11:22:00.001-05:00

This past Monday, I spent part of my afternoon at the place that we have any mechanical or maintenance work done on my brother's vehicle. On that day, I was there while the mechanic did an oil change and fixed the muffler bracket which had broke a couple of weeks before. While sitting there, the roll-back truck came in with a black car on it, and out of the cab of the truck climbed three younger men, all three were close-to or in their early 30s. The car: a BMW.

As I sat their listening, the car which they had borrowed to make the trip from New York City to upstate (Rochester, perhaps) to attend a friend's funeral, had (on their return trip that day) gotten a flat tire. Since the car was registered with AAA...the service station had been called to 'rescue' the car.

The owner and the gal that works there, began doing a search to find a tire to replace the one on the BMW since they did not have a tire of that size...sounds easy enough. But each and every phone call came up empty...no one carries that size tire "in stock"...not even in the BMW dealership an hour and twenty minutes away! However, one could be ordered and it would get to the shop as early as noon the next day. That is the best that could be done.

This left Dave, Bruce and Brian scratching their collective heads as to what to do. One mentioned hitch-hiking back to NYC, while another asked about motels. Those of us who live in the area kind of giggled...no chain motels within a good 15+ miles. There is an inn in Cohocton, but it was advised that they'd be better off going to Dansville (which is on the other side of where I live) to find anything "decent".

A privately owned motel was found just off the expressway, and they decided they would go there, but the next question was: how were they going to get there...as we don't even have a taxi cab service within 15+ miles of here! (Giggling again! Welcome to rural New York!!!)

Feeling bad for these guys, who I had a chance to converse with over about an hour's time, I offered to take them to the motel. It is only about 8 minutes from my home...and it wasn't any bother. Plus, this way, I could show them the bars that Dansville has on its main street...they wanted to go to one to watch the play-offs.

They were all kind of surprised that I would do that...offer a ride to complete strangers. I assured them, that I do not normally do this, but I sensed these fellows were 'safe', listening to their conversations and how polite they all were. Had any of them displayed a smidgen of arrogance...or something that gave me the tiniest sense of unease...I would have not offered at all.

One of the guys spoke up and told me on the ride to the motel that had they been broke down in NYC and needed a ride, everyone would have acted like they didn't exist. There is no sense of trust or friendliness on the streets there, to which I replied: "So I have heard. We aren't like that here."

A few quick stories by them, and a couple of good laughs, and I was depositing them at the front of the motel. They all thanked me, and it made me feel good that I had done something to help others out. They offered to send me a box of chocolates in return...but I declined...they know me only as Deb...and that's the way I left it.

(To give you a sense of what kind of guys these three were, if you have ever watched the movie: "Without a Paddle" then you get the idea! I added a clip below.)

A sudden realization

2012-12-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had a long talk with my youngest son, and we were discussing how dysfunctional our family has gotten, beyond my little family of my three children and I. (Referring to his step-sisters and that side of his family.) We were are amazed at how far things have progressed to the point of lies being spread, back-stabbing, threats being made, and the list goes on.

Then too, he talked about how his life had gone downhill over the past two years, and I reminded him that mine hadn't been a bowl of cherries either, that I too had made some bad choices...specifically in men. (My effort to lighten his burden and point out that he's not alone in having made bad choices in women.)

Then it hit me. Wham! Like a pile of bricks fell on my chest and tears welled in my eyes.

It was the sudden realization that I am literally afraid of men, beyond those in my family. Yes--afraid.

Why? Because I no longer am able to trust men I meet because I don't know if they are one of "them".

Them: Rapists; child molesters; mentally/emotionally/physically/sexually abusive men too.

I told my son exactly these things, and all the while, fought against letting any tears fall. Then...a little later, a weight seemed to lift off me...this revelation that I admitted seemed to suck all the heaviness away that I'd felt lately.

It's something I know that I am going to have to deal with, and work on...I know not all men are bad. It's not like these men are monsters that stand out in the crowd...we probably know more than we'd like to admit. I know I do...but I keep my distance. REALLY keep my distance.

THIS is the monster under my bed...but now that it knows I know it's there...it doesn't scare me any more!

Crows

2012-12-09T10:27:00.001-05:00

Photo of a crow landing in our yard
this past Summer (2012)

It's not often that I dream of creatures other than dogs and cats (that I remember). But for the first time last night I had a dream about crows. Not a lot of them...maybe a half dozen or so that I recall.

Since it's been hours since I woke from the dream, much has gone from my memory except for bits and pieces. But it's enough to give me the essence of the dream.

It's a funny thing that in many of my dreams, I never dream about the place I live in at that moment in time...and it was no different in this dream. I have no idea what house it was, it was unfamiliar to me, and I can't even say that the other person in the dream was a familiar person to me either. Yet--somehow--I knew that person...otherwise the dream wouldn't have flowed the way it did.

We were inside the home, and I went to open the door, and there were the crows, not far from the house, some on the ground, some in the trees. Something told me not to go out, but I needed to get some air in the house, it was horribly stuffy and hot in there, so I left the door open a little.

A crow landed on the top edge of the door, and I quickly pulled it further shut, so that it couldn't enter the house. All through this dream, there was dialogue with the other person, but I remember none of it.

I wasn't necessarily scared, but definitely worried about these crows, and it seemed terribly important that they did not get into the house, nor should we go out. There was no sense of doom or evil intent in the dream either, which is puzzling...but a good thing, I guess.

I am more than familiar with all the labels and the stigma that is attached to these birds...and ravens too...but there wasn't any of that in my dream. And I am not afraid of the birds...to me they are just that...birds.

Being curious, I 'Googled' what it might mean, and the one that makes the most sense to me is this, which said:

To me, it's more about change...not about death. A new beginning, maybe, of one thing or another...and we are fast approaching 2013! I'm game...it's time for some changes...more within me, not about geography! I am quite happy right where I am!

Any thoughts?

Thanks for reading!

Struggling through

2012-12-02T20:43:00.001-05:00

photo by me: Debra Myers 2012

For the last four weeks, more or less, I have been struggling mentally, because of having depression and PTSD. It happens to me every year at this time, right before the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays roll in. I honestly can't pin-point when it started, all I know is that I can't remember ever living my life without this low point every year.

I know that it is the sum total of a lot of things, both internal and external, things that are within my control to some degree, and other things that are out of my control. I am a worrier, stress over finances, especially around Christmas (I live on a fixed income), worry about what my kids will think of me one way or another...and I know I shouldn't. I am their mom, after-all...and can only do what I can do.

This time of year has a sense of loss in it for me, even after 37 years, when I suffered through the following holidays without my mom. (She was killed by a drunk driver, Feb. 8, 1975.) From that point on...I've always felt that hole, but it has gotten somewhat better over the years.

I think what was my biggest set-back this year, why I can't shake off the depression, is due to having joined two closed groups on Facebook for survivors of sexual abuse. Reading their stories, only made my own angst worse...and having the ability to see these things happen in my mind while reading their stories...only hit home with me over and over again.

I started having flashbacks to my time in Wisconsin a little over a year ago...and it got to the point that I just felt myself sinking further into the abyss...again. So I have distanced myself from the groups...I thought I could handle things, handle talking about the things I've been though, but apparently there are still some things too close to me in time that I haven't yet distanced myself from.

It's been a several days since I have actively participated on the one group, and it's not because of them, but the self-preservation mode within me kicking-in. Already, I feel the grip of the depression/PTSD loosening its grip on me...and the flashbacks have subsided. It's enough for me to function again. I know I can pull through the Christmas holiday okay.

Thanks for reading.

Shawn Campbell's "Journey to Justice" Interview, Pt. 1

2012-11-29T21:28:00.000-05:00

(**Previously published 5/9/11**)

As I have mentioned in my previous post, my son, Shawn Campbell, is struggling to find justice in a case that some have called a 'slam dunk'. He was railroaded into pleading guilty for a crime he did not commit, and has proof that the county District Attorney's office had been forewarned of a 'murder to hire plot' that was going around Wende Correctional Facility at in weeks prior to Rhonda Bilby's murder.

He is back in court today, and I will have the details as they become available to me. As well, I will post each section of the interview as they are aired.

Punology‏ (Humor)

2012-11-22T20:16:00.000-05:00

Definition: Pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro: what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh, deer!

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

My love/hate affair with the holidays

2012-11-20T14:52:00.001-05:00

How do I begin to tell you how I am feeling these days...which has now turned into at least two weeks? Shall I define it in single words?

Depression. Anxiety. Love/hate. Sadness. Withdrawal. Pain. Loneliness.

This is nothing new for me. I have been dealing with seasonal depression for as along as I have been an adult, and it's always worse with the holidays coming up: Thanksgiving and Christmas. Why?

I wish I could definitively tell you.

For me...I think all the traumatic incidences that have happened in my life coalesce at this time of year for some unknown reason. It all comes back to me in waves...some days it's my past that plays battle in my mind, other days it's whatever has happened in the last eight years, as far as my children go.

There is moments of overwhelming sadness...of things lost...my innocence, my youth, my mom, my sense of family. And right now, I think that it's the sense of family...meaning that of my children not being loving with each other, that has me the most sad. I know why it's like this...I had hoped that it never would reach this point though.

I do love the holidays, but I hate the depression that arrives with them. It doesn't help that the season has become so bleak-looking outdoors, and is mostly always overcast. The weather/seasons do play a HUGE part in my depression states, believe it or not.

I always, always want to 'do' more for my kids and grand-kids for Christmas, and that eats at me too...that I can't. Living on a fixed income sucks...even though I have no other choice. I do the best I can...but tell that to a brain that won't absorb that thought permanently.

But, for now, I will go...my mind is getting mushy with all these thoughts.

Oh--the reason for the photo up top? That's how I feel these days...like an old, beat-up classic.

I'll be okay...honest! More to come soon!

Thanks for reading!

The cruelty of kids

2012-11-03T09:48:00.001-04:00

Halloween, in theory, is supposed to be 'fun' for children...and I know that as a child, it was for me. Times have changed though. Halloween is no longer the safe, carefree night of the year for children, it's now one where dangers lurk...and children can be cruel.

My 12 year old niece, who loves this holiday, so looked forward to going out with friends trick or treating. Days before, she and a few friends, made plans to meet at a specific place at 6 p.m. and from there, walk through our little town.

She had decided early-on in November that she wanted to be a dead bride...and so we spent the time to acquire a dress, and all the things we would need to make her look somewhat real. We 'shredded' the dress, made a veil out of an old slip, which I then hand sewed to a headband. We bought the fake makeup, complete with 'blood' (fake, of course) and proceeded to splatter it all over the items...even the little bunch of flowers she would carry.

On her own, she put her makeup on...and then we got her dressed. All good. At 5:50, we got in the car and I drove her to the place she and her friends (and a mom) were to meet. There we waited, as we were a few minutes early.

6:00 came. And went.

6:10...still no one.

6:15 we decided to drive to an old store just in case the information was mixed-up. No one was there.

6:20. She attempts to call the friend, it goes to voicemail. She starts crying and doesn't know what to do, and I had a bad headache coming on from hunger.

I called her dad...he said go ahead and take her around, but she wanted me to walk with her, and I knew that I couldn't physically (I am disabled), nor was I dressed to do so. (I expected to just drop her off and then go home.) She cries and carries on...so I got upset and came home to grab my cigs (yeah--I know, bad habit!) and while here, her dad decided to take her out so that I could fix supper and eat.

She walked around by herself for a little bit, then fell in with some other friends that also had been stood-up...so from that point on, she was okay. She came home with a modest amount of candy for an hour's worth of trick or treating, but it's all she needed. She was happy.

The point in telling this story is to vent a little. I don't understand the cruelty of kids...and she seems to be getting a lot of misuse by her so-called 'friends'. When she went to school the next morning, she confronted the friend that had stood everyone up, and the excuse was that the friend's sister had been on the computer so they didn't make it to our town till sometime later. Lame.

So why didn't she call my niece and let her know? Where is the common courtesy there? These kids are 12-13 years old (going on 20, I swear!) and if it had been anything else, OMG--they'd been on the phone in a heartbeat!

I realize that bullying and kids being cruel to each other has been going on for hundreds of years, but in the last few decades, it's ramped-up to where it's as common as breathing, and these kids have no conscience about each other's feelings or about what they do wrong.

Why? Why? Why?

I don't understand. What is happening to our kids?

Thanks for reading...

Newspaper Headlines (Humor)

2012-10-29T10:06:00.000-04:00

In light of Hurricane Sandy's impending landfall...I thought I'd steal a moment and and lighten the mood with these headline gaffes!

Enjoy!

* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

* British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

* Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

* Eye Drops off Shelf

* Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

* Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

* Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

* Stolen Painting Found by Tree

* Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

* Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

* Drunken Drivers Paid $1000

* If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

* Deer Kill 17,000

* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

* Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

* Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

* British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

* Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

* New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

* Air Head Fired

* Steals Clock, Faces Time

* Prosecutor Releases Probe into Under-sheriff

* Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

* Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

* Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

* Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

* Include your Children when Baking Cookies

* Marv Albert Gets Pink Slip

* Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

* Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

* Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

* Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

My apologies

2012-10-19T20:47:00.001-04:00

Moon...10/19/12 6:05 p.m. EST

I want to offer my sincere apologizes to my followers for not having wrote anything substantial in a while. My mind has been all over the place for weeks on end, and I have really had a hard time focusing on any one thing for long.

And I don't know why...but I have a feeling that it is another facet of my depression.

As well, it has been a busy Summer and early Fall for me. I had all my teeth removed back in the early Spring, then had to wait for over 2 months before I could have the dentist build my dentures. One more visit...next Wednesday, and I will be the proud owner of some new teeth! (I can actually "chew" again, and even eat the foods that I have missed sooo much!!!)

Of course, there was the garden that we tended to and harvested; the photography; many hours of just sitting outside watching the birds and the clouds, and feeling the breezes on my face.

Heaven.

With the school year starting, came obligations for me to get my neice off to school in the morning, and pick her up at night after volleyball practice or her games. As well, she has been in physical therapy (1-2 times a week), so we are up and on the road before the sun begins to rise. After therapy...I drop her off to school.

Last week, I saw the surgeon that put cortisone in my shoulders earlier this year, as I have suddenly developed a lump on the inside of my right wrist. Monday I will have an MRI on it, to determine whether it is a tumor or an aneurysm...and hopefully it won't turn out to be cancerous.

(I will also be getting another round of cortisone in both shoulders...it's time. The pain is getting to be almost unbearable again. I don't like this 'getting older' thing...my body wants to give up on me! Sigh...)

But that's a brief summary of what's going on in my life...and I am trying to get myself pulled together again after enjoying the Summer way-too-much and letting my mind drift way-too-far!

Thanks for reading...!

Fall 2012 in photos

2012-10-15T20:53:00.002-04:00

Washington hawthorn berries...10/4/12

Since I have an overabundance of photos that I have taken, I thought I would give you some other visions of Fall here in the Southern Tier of New York.

Burning bush in our yard...10/4/12

The hillside across the valley from us...10/4/12

sparrow...10/4/12

Red-winged blackbird...10/4/12

neighbor's maple (in orange)...10/5/12

another neighbor's maple...10/5/12

wild berries growing off a telephone pole guidewire...10/5/12

some weeds also turn red...10/5/12

burdocks...10/5/12

leaves on a tree in front of our house...10/5/12

hillside outside of Naples, NY...10/5/12

Another hillside outside of Naples, NY. Notice the haze...it's likely from
the high humidity we had during a spell of warmer weather...10/5/12

another view of the hill across the valley from us...10/6/12
(again, you can see the haze)

bale of wheat straw, beginning a growing cycle, despite the cold temps
10/10/12

Corn ready for harvesting...10/10/12

maple beginning to change...10/10/12

Honey locust leaves...after our first frost: 10/13/12

some leaves still cling to the Honey locust branches...10/13/12

burning bush...10/15/12

not sure what kind of tree/leaves these are...10/1/12

farm that sells vegetables and such...10/10/12

sumac beginning its change...10/1/12

assorted leaves in the yard...10/1/12

a stand of trees that got their colors early...10/1/12

small maple in our yard that is beginning to turn...10/3/12

found this little fella (caterpillar) on our porch...10/8/12

me playing with black and white on a cold cloudy day...10/6/12

This is how the valley looks today...10/15/12

I hope you enjoyed the photos! Thanks for stopping by!

Aging with a Smile [Humor]

2012-10-13T06:29:00.002-04:00

[Here are some humorous quips about getting older. All of us are...maybe some faster than others! LOL Enjoy!]

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few
drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as
it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing.. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are
just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we
get cable or that dish thing.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs.
The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they
haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child
playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

And finally:

Remember...You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old
because you stop laughing.

Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh (Humor)

2012-10-07T14:50:00.001-04:00

Van Gogh

(Who thinks up these things ???)

Vincent's dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh

His brother who ate prunes------------------------- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------------------- U Gogh

His magician uncle -------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin ------------------------------------ A Mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle ------------------------------------- Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt -------------------------------- Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh

The fruit-loving cousin -------------------------------------- Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------------ Way-to-Gogh

The little bouncy nephew ----------------------------------- Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco---------------------------------- Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling . . .. There ya Gogh!!! :)

Change

2012-10-05T09:58:00.003-04:00

[Photo by me; quote by John Rohn]