Randomness...

Homeless Man vs Homesless Kid - A social experiment by MoeAndET

2015-11-28T02:56:00.000-08:00

I watched this video on Facebook in front of my boyfriend the other day... I was preparing myself to control my tears as I know it will soon fall midway through the video. I usually fake a yawn or cover my face but then this time he caught me and ask why I am crying. In an "I am making fun of you" way.

I find it really sad for a very rich, first world country to have homeless people, sadder is that most of them are veterans, who fought for this country's freedom, or made sure that wars don't reach its shores.

It's just sad... ;(

See the video, and you will know what I am talking about.

***Disclaimer***
I am not posting this for likes, adds or ads. Nor to gain subscribers.
I did not purposely intend to make copyright infringement if I did.

This video belongs to MoeAndEt, and you can visit their Youtube page by clicking the link below, or by copying their page address on your address bar if clicking doesn't work.
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheOckShow

And here is the video...

https://youtu.be/NvoWBbYxdwc

If you can't see it you could always click the link, or copy it to you address bar.

It is about time to talk about homelessness.

References:

MoeAndET Youtube page: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheOckShow

Video of MoeAndET's social experiment: https://youtu.be/NvoWBbYxdwc

Back to Blogging II

2015-11-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

Recap: Hospital admission, Paracentesis, and Lupus Positive Diagnosis

After I was discharged from the hospital comes a lot of almost bi-monthly visit to the Rheumatology doctor, new other symptoms and other kinds of diseases accompanied my Lupus. Medicines to take care of the symptoms; medicines to take care of the side effect of the main medicine used for my symptoms.

Well, I can't really do anything about it really, just need to swallow the pills, drink my water and move on with life, anticipating the next time I need to drink medicine. Which is usually after 8 or 12 hours.

Life with lupus can be tiresome, devastating to some, but it is definitely life changing to all inflicted by it. It is hard at first, you go through all the stages of grief.

Grief doesn't only imply to the loss of a loved one, in my case, it is a loss of good health. We must recognize that we all are grieving, once recognized, I know we will all be level-headed, and will move on in bettering ourselves.

Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or SLE is the most common lupus. The type that affects every single organ of the body.

I had the textbook SLE, Lupus, from the very beginning. I had the malar rash or butterfly rash to some. And the accompanying joint pains that is experienced by more than half of the people with lupus. I actually have a tell-tale spot, that when it hurts, it means I need to increase Prednisone just for that one day, or at the minimum, drink a pain reliever. When my right heel hurts, I am about to have a flare. That is my tell-tale spot.

I think people with lupus should listen more to their body, and notice the differences that happen before a flare up. I have one, my right heel pain, maybe you have one too!

I am actually really lucky to have the most common symptoms of Lupus. They were able to diagnose me easy, and not like other people who had to wait and some wait for months or even years just to find out they have lupus and not some other disease their doctor was treating them for before. Even with this, it is still not easy to deal with lupus. The most annoying part with Lupus, in my case, is when one thing is better, another messes up. This is the summation of my 4 years diagnosed with lupus.

SLE positive diagnosis -- labs are good -- lab found protein in urine -- c4 almost at normal, kidneys not so much -- admitted to hospital for feeling sick -- kidney biopsy -- LUPUS NEPHRITIS 5 -- kidney doing good -- PULMONARY EMBOLISM (1 day before my birthday on 2013) -- Kidney doing better -- managed kidney a lot better -- DIABETES (because of weight gain and being on prednisone for years)

Awesome right, something positive happens, something bad happens next. It feels that I can't get a break. Seriously!! :(

References:
Definition of SLE: https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000435.htm
Definition of Malar rash: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malar_rash
Malar Rash photo: http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/what-your-looks-say-about-your-health/10/
Definition of Lupus Nephritis: http://www.webmd.com/lupus/lupus-nephritis
Definition of Pulmonary Embolism: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pulmonary-embolism/basics/definition/con-20022849
Definition of Diabetes: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/type-2-diabetes/basics/definition/con-20031902

On The Brink

2015-11-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

I am not really in a good feeling right now. I just do not know what else I need to do to get better...

I am on the brink of depression. I look at all my pills and I am thinking, what did I do wrong? All I did was to make sure that everything I do or did was suppose to make me better. I am in an age where I wanted to have my own family, but I have to put it on hold because of all the things that are happening to me right now. I wanted to have one, even just one for me.

I went to my doctor appointment right now and was told that if I ever have a "baby accident" I might need to terminate it because of all the medicines that I am taking. Do you know how hard that is to swallow, to think that I would be a mother and have a baby, but I can't keep it because it will for sure have complications.

So, as any normal person would do, I put on my brave face and say yes to everything they told me to do. It took a while obviously, to sink in my little coconut. I am not getting younger and I am really really wanting to have a little one of my own. I planned to have one when I was 25, but I lost my job, and the economy was on a really low point that not much people were hiring. From all the stress, I developed lupus and now, here I am, 31 turning 32 in January and still waiting for the right time to have my magical moment of having a little one of my own. It doesn't help having friends having babies for the second time or popping them like popcorns.

I am just on a really low part of my life at the moment. Sorry, I just need to vent.

I guess I'm back to blogging... Again... :)

2015-10-25T02:22:00.001-07:00

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been a while... :) But there are things in life that I need to think and do first, that is more important than blogging.

So... where should I start?

How about let us begin from the very beginning.

I have Lupus. I found out I have Lupus basically around May 2011, but the doctor I went to first told me that he can't help and I need to go to some other doctor. My complaints at that moment were joint pains, and I have a rash on my face. Yes, I have the malar rash and joint pains. I'm a textbook Lupus patient, right? Unfortunately, I am not aware of what lupus is during that time, and I thought maybe, it is not his specialty, and that I should see a dermatologist instead. Looking back, I wish it was that easy.

I saw another kind of doctor that week, I was jobless, no insurance and sick. I went to a doctor that is same day and walk-ins are acceptable, and you will be seen for $50! That is how Los Angeles was, and that is how I think, everything is still. he gave me a prescription, I do not even know what it was, I know one is a pain reliever, and the other one is probably steroids because I got better after a few weeks,

As fall of 2011 approached, my bad joints came back, and I just decided that maybe it was because of the weather. September 2011, I was popping Aleve like crazy. I need my joint pains gone. But after some time I felt nauseous and started vomiting. I went to the Emergency Room after some time because I can't eat, and every time I put something in my mouth, wait for a few minutes and I started vomiting. Five different times I went to the emergency room and no conclusive cause or reason was given to. Most of the time I was only given something to help with the pain, or make me eat for a few minutes or most a day.

When they can't do anything about it anymore, I was told to just better go to the County Hospital, as they have the best doctor and staff, by reputation. But coming from the Philippines, who also have best doctors in Public hospital, there is something about going to a public hospital that doesn't go down with me. In the Philippines, it usually means crowded, dirty and patients in gurneys in the hallway kind of hospital. But then again, how and why do I even try to compare a third world county hospital to a rich if not the richest country's county hospital.

I was in there and was taken into a bed as soon as 30 mins. This hospital can make you wait for as long as twenty-four hours if they think that your emergency is not really an emergency. I didn't know that then, but I know that now.

I was checked. I was poked and prodded. But what can I do? It was a teaching hospital, so there are a lot of residents that needs to see what patients they might have at their private practice. It was not a good experience, but at least they found out why I kept on puking. I was admitted few minutes after being checked. I was in a room within 2 hours of entering the E.R.

I developed Ascites. It is when the liver leaks liquid to the abdominal or stomach cavity. I did this to myself by taking pain relievers my liver can't handle. And the only thing that could be done to relieve it is a very painful process called paracentesis. Paracentesis is when they drain the stomach cavity of liquid by actually poking it and vacuuming the liquid out. The doctor was very accommodating. Telling me how the procedure will be done and assuring me that it won't be that painful. But of course, he lied.

The process consists of 3 parts, one is local anesthesia, where they put a numbing agent on the part where they will poke you. The second part is when they inject you, like in the dentist office, anesthesia, to numb the inner muscles in preparation of the needle that will vacuum the water. Third is the actual injecting of the needle that will drain the water from the stomach cavity. And, like in the dentist, it still does hurt.

For those who are more visual, you could actually see the process of paracentesis here. I was only drained 2 liters, which is not that much. Thies pretty much the same thing they did to me, including the ultrasound part of it.

I think I will end this for the moment, check my next blog for what follows after. Thank you!!

Sources/Links:

Please check this website to learn more about Lupus, and help us find a cure - http://www.lupus.org/

Lupus definition: http://www.lupus.org/answers/entry/what-is-lupus

Ascites definition: https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000286.htm

Paracentesis definition: https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003896.htm

Paracentesis video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d-L6Hni6A4&feature=youtu.be

Opinion: Gay Marriage

2015-07-06T11:43:00.001-07:00

I support LGBTIQ.

I do not intend in any way hinder people from marrying other people, may it be between a man and woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man. This is a human right and need. To belong. To be loved, and love back in return.

Recently, I have been accused of being a hypocrite, for not liking the demonstration or rallying the LGBTIQ group in Sao Paulo did. Sure it was Freedom of Speech, but with this freedom, there will always be consequences. I do not in any way try to offend anybody.

Respect must be given to gain respect.

Congratulations to the USA, it is about time...

New gadget!!!

2015-04-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

So my boyfriend got me this new thing from goodwill.. :)

it,s a bluetooth keyboard for my Kindle!!! :))

maybe this will help me to blog a lot more, since it looks like i am using a laptop except that it's my kindle, not my laptop.
I love my laptop but ti's kinda slow at the moment. need to start cleaning it and removing stuff from it. But at the moment, this will do! :)

yey for awesome boyfriend!! maybe my next blog is to make a review of my new bluetooth keyboard.. :)

This is just too good to not share... :)

2015-03-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

Post by FreeStuffWorld.

Something to Talk About - Reincarnation

2015-02-27T15:56:00.000-08:00

Depending on your religion, each and everyone of us have an opinion about life after death... Well, this news video is something else...

Penny for your thoughts??

Something soooo Cute... you'd die... :)

2015-02-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

Pet's who didn't know they where going to the vet.. :)

Thank's to boredomtheraphy.com, you are the real MVP.. for people like me.. :D

i did it for the LOLs...

2015-02-20T13:54:00.001-08:00

Otter's reaction when getting brain a freeze

A little cuteness to start your Friday!!!!

2015-02-20T13:08:00.002-08:00

Seriously.. Can I have this little pet??? I want one... :D
But most likely, if it is not endangered, it is not allowed in California.. **Damn you California Laws!!! ** I can't even have a ferret...

:) thanks to YouTube..

Made my day... Cat Vs Dog

2015-02-19T10:32:00.001-08:00

Hahaha... I can relate.. I used to have lots of cats and dogs before I moved to the US.. .and this is exactly how they are...

If your pets were human.. Cat & Dog

My little heart hurts...

2015-02-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

I broke down yesterday... :(
I cried myself to sleep. I cried so hard I didn't even know when I fell asleep.
I should have known and learned it by now not to expect anything from him.
He is the best, at somethings, but he is not a very affectionate person.
Valentine's day just passed me.. nothing from him. Not even a lousy greeting of "Happy Valentine's Day!".
Sucks, because most of the time I blame myself. I blame myself for expecting something, and then when disappointment comes it is because of me. I expected something. Even if I knew, I am not suppose to. I blame myself for still being here... He is far from perfect, and so am I so I do not expect to find someone perfect, right? That is the most logical thing to do. But no, you know what, there are imperfect beings out there that would, maybe, be imperfectly perfect for me. But I choose to stay... I choose to be here because I love him. I don't think that he doesn't love me back, but I need and want stuff from him. But no, he is not the kind of person who will give you flowers on Valentine's day. Or when the flowers he expected didn't come out as great or even there, he will make a way to get you some. One single flower, that is all I ask.. but NOTHING.
NOTHING.

Maybe I am just rambling, ranting or something.. I know soon this feeling will go. But as of this moment, this is what I feel. :( Disappointed and Sad.

I hope the rest of you had a better Valentine's day than I did. Even when you are single.

I'm back... Seriously.. LOL

2015-02-13T15:33:00.001-08:00

I am lucky that I choose my blog to be as random as can be... I think it's because of my ADHD... :)

Nah, just because my life is as random as it can be, a little bit skewed, a little bit straight, diagonally inclined... :)

I decided, I'm on facebook most of the time, watching all these beautiful videos worth sharing... why not share it here... I enjoyed watching them why not share it here.. I only got 3 followers but I don't mind..

Personal friend followers are more amazing than random unknown people....

So cheers to you guys.. and please wait for my next post...

I don't want to leave my children in a world like this..

2014-10-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

I hope in a not so distant future, my children doesn't have to read the news and see how the world is disgusting and violent.

The other day, I watched the news and saw a 9 year old kid shot, by drive-by. Today, I found an article regarding a Yazidi woman who is begging for people to bomb the place she is in. She was kidnapped and sold in a brothel controlled and operated by ISIS, and was raped 30 times, and is not even lunch yet. There is also another on going custody battle regarding a US Marine for killing a transgender man. These three news, from three different continents. I bet, if I look hard, I will find disgusting and disturbing news from each city, from all the countries in the world.

With all the violence that is going on, are you willing to leave your children, your children's children to a world like this?

My heart is broken...

2014-10-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a while, and I am still broken...
I do not know what to do...

I miss my Sable,,,

It's done... Not going to be bothered by it...

2013-09-21T00:52:00.001-07:00

So finally it pushed through after a long time of asking for it to be done..

I finally have my kidney biopsy done...

I was taking Coumadin for at least 6 mos now, and I was hoping of not taking it for the rest of my life... My INR is finally on good levels recently, (that's what they said) so I am hopeful that it is not for my entire lifetime.

They are holding my Coumadin for now... I hopefully I do not need to take it.

So... At exactly 1:30 pm I was on my belly being ultrasound. So they could find my kidneys. They had to poke my at least 3 times. It sucks knowing a bit of medical terms and it gets frustrating when this medical students do not know cephalic, and caudal means. And it's awesome for them to use adipose instead of fat.

Apparently, my back has too much adipose that they hit that a lot... I get it I am fat OK? Goddammit! I was in the hospital for already 3-4 days and I was already starting to swell up.

It wasn't a fun time. It was numb but i still feel it for some reason, I mean the pressure no pain. It really wasn't a fun time. After the biopsy thing, I had to be on my back for 24 hours, meaning I need to use the bed pan. I do not like bed pans, the are weird. And I really do not like asking someone to help me pee. Why would I want that?? I am a grown woman!! But I got no choice.

Oh well... now that is done... :) results next blog... :))

Help me...Edit

2013-09-20T11:28:00.002-07:00

I have been going in and out of the hospital this year and I has affected my income like every sick person there is in this world.
But there are always bills to pay and there will be always medical expenses.

It stresses me out more that I have to think about this when I am already in the hospital sick.

If you could help me start an online business, that would be home base, I would really appreciate it.

Please check out the link below and help me... any amount will do. Thank you so much for your time.

http://www.gofundme.com/4e6k4k

I took this site down, I realize I could do it by myself with my own money and doesn't really need to ask for people's help. But I do have another page for one of my friends' baby. They need money for medical bills, so if you have time to check it out, can you please visit this page.

FOR PHOENIX RAE'S MEDICAL EXPENSES

Just a quick hello...

2013-08-07T11:36:00.004-07:00

I would really appreciate if you would comment or say something.

Sometimes, it's a more comforting for strangers to tell me what they feel and see their point of view since I do not personally know you and I would assume that your comment or opinion will be unbiased.

I would like to know who you are... leave a comment ok?

I do not have a lot of followers and would like you to be one.

Regards,

Jocxie

Just let it be...

2013-08-07T11:31:00.002-07:00

There are things in life that you just can't control and all you could do is just let it be...

Leave it as it is and accept it as it comes...

Not everything could be planned or go as you plan it to be..

Just let it be and let God..

There are things that you won't understand.. Be patient and give it time...

The Song of My Life...

2013-08-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

"Nobody said it was easy..."

My Wake Up Call...

2013-08-01T20:19:00.002-07:00

"He pulled away. That was a big hello for me. I realized I could lose the person I loved and I had to deal with some things, issues I think a lot of women have. You can be strong in one aspect of your life but submissive in another. ... [But] I'm not interested in taming anyone - I'm pretty wild myself." - Katy Perry on her relationship with John Mayer (read full post here)

I had my wake up call a month and a half ago. It was an experience I never wish to experience ever again. I was heart broken, I was in pain. My chest was about to explode and saw my entire future collapsing in front of me. My eyes were red and swollen and my happiness taken away from me. We almost broke up.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. My baby, who is so very patient and caring was pushed to the edge and he felt it was time to let go. My Path profile summed it up in 5 words... "6 years down the drain...". I was jealous, I guess it was because of my woman intuition that all these thoughts come into my head. I know something is up. I know he is also just a guy who could "like" someone else other than me. And all I could think of is "What will I do if I lose him? No one will take me for I am sick and broken."

He "likes" her. It is nothing more than that. But then everything starts with a "like" right? This isn't like facebook where you could just throw a bunch of "likes" in someone else's profile. This is real life like. I asked him a bunch of questions, he's been honest, sometimes very honest that I do not even want to hear the answer. But if I want our relationship honest and true, I have to take in the answers he gave me. Even if it was painful. I guess that is the price you have to pay for a real honest relationship. I am thankful and believe deep in my heart and mind that he never cheated on me. Not even once. I am happy to know that. And I do believe him when he told me he never did. I could tell, I could see it. I guess we were just in that bend in our lives that everything got bored, and we had new things in front of us. Well, not really in front of us, mostly in front of him. But we were able to make things work. We have a better understanding of each other now. And yes, we are still true and honest with each other.

We are still together, going stronger than before. I love him, and he loves me. And I guess, that is all that really matters. No matter what other people told him when we were having problems he pushed aside, because he loves me, and he wants to stay with me.

I guess it wasn't really "6 years down the drain" after all.

I like clingy people.. I am a clingy person...

2013-07-29T17:29:00.001-07:00

My Stress Reliever... Blogging

2013-07-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

I may not be one with the best grammar skills in the history of mankind. I may have spelling mistakes and run on sentences, I may not be able to express myself in English that good since it is my second language only but in never stopped me from writing.
It always has been a stress reliever for me, I keep a journal for people to read when I am dead. I keep a journal for me with words of encouragement for my future self. It always been a help in times that I needed to just tell something even though no one is there to listen.

Recently, I have been under a lot of stress. I probably could take it if it was about work but it's not. More on my personal life. Something you can't just sleep over and it will be less of a problem the next morning. And I am quite sure it is taking its toll on my health as well. Maybe I just need to pass through this, and all will be well but as of the moment, I just can't. I didn't know how hard it is to try not to care, until you decided to not care at all. But deep inside, you know you still do anyway.

Life is hard, it's the little things that actually make it bearable. The smile of a child. A text of a love one. A call with an unexpected surprise. Little things that makes daily living worthwhile.

Although social networks have its disadvantages, if used politely and respectfully it has awesome perks as well. I just discovered WeChat app a few hours ago, it's like a walkie-talkie but for all over the world. :) You could send videos, you could send picture and text messages. It was awesome. Most of my friends are actually scattered all over the world. I have a few acquaintances here in the US some could be comparable on how close I am to my friends of over 15 years but most of the time people here they go home and they have lives of their own. Which i understand but these habits doesn't develop friends, only acquaintances.

I am feeling a bit depressed recently. Feeling weak and tired most of the time. I am not sure if its because I haven't been sleeping well, or am I not sleeping well because I am about to have a flare up of my Lupus. I am overweight, actually i am obese, and I can't do anything since I can't really exercise much since I get tired easily and need to catch my breath most of the time. I think I am feeling so depress because I feel so ugly. I don't see myself right now. It's this other me staring back whenever I look in the mirror. I feel ugly because I don't feel like myself. It's hard to understand. I tried. I tried to explain to myself why this is happening to me. But still, I don't feel myself.

I need help. But there's not a lot of people I could ask help from. The only person who I want to get help from wants me to be less dependent and choose to ignore my little whims. My little whims, little things that makes daily living worthwhile. Learn not to care and just accept. Everything happens for a reason.

I am not happy right now...

2013-05-10T23:33:00.000-07:00

Actually, I do not really know what I am feeling.

Fatigue? Lower leg edema? What??

That is the thing that sucks about lupus. It's like you have this mixed feeling, and you are not even sure if it is your emotions, your hormonal change, or your lupus acting up.

And today is one of those days... :(

hopefully tomorrow won't be the same as today...