Save the X

Triumphic return

2009-08-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

Yes Readers I have returned.

I was recently mega afks doing what any dude my age would be doing, watching cricket listening to buckethead and eating tuna salad sandwiches (I guess I'm not that normal)

But now I'm back and boy do I have some grievances to air but first lets lay down some facts.

If there were a God it would bare an uncanny resemblance to Henry Shefflin, so what we'll do is from now on he is a demi-god and since Henry isn't very fitting for a demi god i'll rename him GLORMDON AVENGER OF THE AMBER ARMY AND SMITER OF THE TERRIBLE COUNTIES

Catchy huh?

So now it's onto grievances
I was recently shopping in tesco and first things first it wasn't the awesome tesco in Ardkeen, it was the dirthole near the WIT. So I stepped up to the mechanical belt with the scanner lady ready and waiting to scan all of my goods past and take my money but today I got something special. I got the person that couldn't see the barcodes. So every single item she took needed 30 seconds of surveying before she identified the barcode then another 10-15 seconds trying to push said barcode past the reader to initiate the beep that signifies she IS CORRECT SIR. So that's almost 1 minute per item, if I have 60 items that's an hour... ok maybe my times are wrong there cause I wasn't there for an hour BUT IT TOOK FUCKING AGES OK!

Oh and another thing tesco if you are not just a brand name but in fact a real breathing reading entity and you frequent my blog can you see to it that you're most attractive workers are put on the checkouts so that I may have something to gaze at while I fume over the length I spend in your terrible store.. cheers thx

Daily Aggravation

2009-07-28T10:23:00.001-07:00

Imagine you go into a shop, in this case we shall be using a book shop, you wish to purchase an item, a book. You queue up with all the other cattle who slowly move towards the holy box that is the cashier, the fulcrum of any store. Today we are being served by a girl, early twenties blond and overweight. I am partial to judgment on appearances however today I was particularly understanding so I overlooked this.

Upon handing over my book which she managed to efficiently take from my hand and scan without breaking conversation with her co-worker I realised there was no need for eye contact or a please and thank you at this exchange. Not being one for niceties, this barely made me raise an eyebrow. However due to her fumbling around with my book which I wished to receive back in the same condition I handed it over, I decided to listen to what was so important as to not merit her concentration on our exchange. To be vague the conversation I decidedly overheard was about her job, How she hated her job, hated working five days a week, and had oh so little time to herself. Now at the height of a depression this struck me as annoying, thousands of people unemployed with families and bills to pay making their way on a meagre social welfare benefit while this round ball of flab dictated how she was unhappy with her own life and full time job.

Unfortunately I seem to be unemployable myself and could not agree any less with her, this woman managed to land one of the cushiest jobs going and still moaned, due to my shock I chose not to enlighten this beached whale and took my book back along with my change, surprised she wasn't after chewing on the edges I made my way to leave, apparently because I didnt say thank you Im a cunt, Ironic that a woman like that thinks she can pass judgment when she cant even look the people who pay her wage in the face.

The moral of the story is it could always be worse, i could have a job and be a selfish fat mess, whos only hope of a lay is when she cycles her saddle-less bike home.

The hub

2009-07-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

So there I was in the smoking area of the nightclub, this is the hub of any club, if the borg did nightclubs the smoking area would be in the hive mind although I doubt a race set on achieving perfection would smoke but once again I digress.

It was filled with the usual crowds.
The aging sports fans that always get drunk to signify their teams meager victories.
The terrible looking women, these are usually found cowering near good looking women giving them an inflated sense of self confidence, if these were analogized into a species in nature it will probably be locust.
The good looking women, these are usually found standing near terrible looking women giving them an inflated sense of self confidence, these women are predators and have no interest in ever talking to anyone.
The scum, these are everywhere! I defy anyone to find a spot of any nightclub where there isn't scum. Tell tale signs of scum are these, rings, chains, blue striped shirts, skinned head, tight jeans, sports brands and awful accents. I would say avoid em but they're fucking everywhere.
The emotionals, fragile humans dead set on leading a depressing life and not conforming to the system but they still wanna slam some vag.

and me.

This compilation of the low and the lowest of society banded together in the smoking area for one reason, to rob each other for fags!

Never have I seen so many fucking strangers asking me "Can I borra a fag young fella". I'm pretty sure there was about ten fags in the whole area.

If the owners of nightclubs weren't fat greedy retards they would capitlize on this and have a battle royale for a box of cigarettes. I estimate that would yield them a 250% revenue increase, but hey what do I know I failed maths :)

Richard Ashcroft

2009-07-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

People have you forgotten what Richard Ashcroft said about 12 years ago? "The drugs don't work" "they just make you worse"

I mean come on!.. Richard said it!.. if you won't pay heed to me then who will you?

So i'm sure it's no sky news worthy breaking news update that drugs are a huge deal in our world.. Millions of people trying to forget how terrible their lives are by getting wasted only to find that when you come back from oblivion the world seems worse and so the cycle continues.

This would be fine if these people didn't constantly protest that "YOUR WRONG !!@" "DRUGS ARE DEADLY" "I ONLY DO IT FOR THE CRACK"

No you don't do it for the crack, you don't cause you're addicted.

Oh and fyi I'm not talking about alcohol for she is a cruel goddess and we must not anger her.

Ireland

2009-07-26T05:23:00.000-07:00

Is there a greater nation than this one?.. I think not!.. I mean where else do you see a grown women defecating on the road outside a night club and no one bats an eyelid? only Ireland.. What other country do the unemployed make fun of the employed people for getting up for work? only Ireland.. and where else will you find some of the most horrid women in the world but they will won't give you the time of the day unless you've stuck three double vodkas down their throat.

I was in the dole office there signing for my free money and I was eavesdropping on the other awesome people in front of me, and this is how the conversation went.

"Jesus christ in here again, is there no better fucking way of doing this".
"I know what you mean, feel like fucking cattle being run through fields getting this dole".

So there I was glad as fuck to be getting the dole, so glad in fact that i'd happily sign once a week, and those lazy pricks moan about writing their name on a shit of paper once a month. Even better thing was I saw one of the assholes get into an 08 car after signing. What other country would you see that? only fucking Ireland.

Depression

2009-07-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

This time a more somber post.

Depressions recessions downturns upturns cockturns.. Who cares what you call it, the world isn't quite the place we want it to be. Lack of money brings about a terrible air in humanity, instead of helping each other, looking out for each other and caring we turn into the selfish hateful beings the system designed us for.

So my friends I ask you this, which would you prefer. Rich and hated or poor and loved, to me there isn't any greater sight than seeing friends, loved ones giving half of whatever they have at that time to help. It's truly special.

So here's the deal. Don't be greedy you have fuck all anyway. If you help your friends when you have it, they'll help you when you don't. Lastly, if the world banded together with an ethos of helping and giving we will soon begin to transcend all of the things that makes our lives shit. So next time you have two cigarettes and someone asks for one don't say no, give it to them!

Save the X

2009-07-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

So faithful readers i'm sure by now it has occurred to you that the title of my blog is rather odd and you've probably said aloud "Wtf is that prick on eh?"

So my friends I will explain.

The X is the solution to a very powerful equation X + X = WIN

The X stands for everything wrong in the world that is so right. Like when you order domino's and the guy doesn't give you barbecue dip so you shower him in racial abuse.. Is it wrong? Hell fucking yeh it is.. Do I want you to keep doing it? Hell fucking yeh.

I would say it is our god given right to be politcally incorrect but I'm not retarded and don't believe in omnipotent beings just because some paedo bear in a priest disguise says so.. So I will say it is our right as humans to not be so fucking caring of everything. You can't give a shit about every minority, every poor person, every dead person, every charity, every fucking wrong doing on this planet.. So why not poke a little fun, have a break pick something risque like cancer, celebal palsy or some other hilarious thing and make fun of it.. trust me in the long run the world will be better..

VIVA LA REVOLUTION
SAVE THE X

Waterford women

2009-07-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

In rubies.. I know I know.. You're already wondering how fucking retarded can you be to go to Rubies and to be honest I wish I knew.. I really fucking do. So the vagina's were out in full force and were as fucking snobby as they always are. I mean wtf is going on, I've a dick you have a vagola let's cut the shit and spoon?.. NO you want me to tell you you're beautiful? you picked the wrong country to be born in for that shit?

Anyway digressions aside I was in rubies and the place was full of fail in the form of pricks in hurling jerseys shouting and roaring about how their team will do better next year, The fact that i'm not wearing a fucking jersey should let you know that I don't give a flying fuck about your fucking team or you're life for that matter.

The worst fucking part is this prick decides to tell me all about it when i'm dying to piss. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY YOU KNACKER OR I'LL PISS IN YOUR NOSE!!

So the moral of the story is I went home and wanked furiously while pondering how many men actually manage to get stuck up balding disgusting waterford women to talk to them

Save the X

2009-07-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

Who drinks club orange?

Fucking no one thats who. What prick goes into a shop a little bit thirsty stares at the drinks see's club orange and rejoices and buys that fuck of a drink.
The drink is flawed, it's main selling point is the fact it has gigantic disgusting bits of orange in it. Firstly with the amount of sugar and other ingredients in club orange there's not a single chance those orange bits are still orange. Secondly if i want little bits rolling around in my mouth while I swallowed i'd have rolled a gay man. Lastly don't ever buy ain't that seems desperate to sell. If you were going to buy a new sofa for sitting on and two guys wanted to sell to you. If one of the dudes seemed just a little over eagre, you know a little dodge then you'd have to wonder "has this couch suffered "traviecide". To the un enlightened "traviecide" is when a couch was once the victim of living with the travelling people and is being sold on the sly to the stopped people. Digressions aside this is the case with club orange, theres too many fucking adds to much artwork on the can to trust it, do yourself a favour buy a drink that doesn't give a shit if you drink it or not.