The Orchid Garden

1 - Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life...

2014-03-16T03:13:00.001-07:00

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or, "One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life."

The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't.

It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.

2 - Live With an Open Heart Even If It Hurts...

2014-03-16T03:12:00.007-07:00

Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man's true nature.

A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one.

He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.

3 - Live As If Your Father Were Dead...

2014-03-16T03:12:00.005-07:00

A man must love his father and yet be free of his father's expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.

4 - Know Your Real Edge and Don't Fake it...

2014-03-16T03:12:00.003-07:00

It is honorable for a man to admit his fears, resistance, and edge of practice. It is simply true that each man has his limit, his capacity for growth, and his destiny.

But it is dishonorable for him to lie to himself or others about his real place. He shouldn't pretend he is more enlightened than he is — nor should he stop short of his actual edge.

The more a man is playing his real edge, the more valuable he is as good company for other men, the more he can be trusted to be authentic and fully present. Where a man's edge is located is less important than whether he is actually living his edge in truth, rather than being lazy or deluded.

5 - Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization...

2014-03-16T03:12:00.001-07:00

Eternity must be a man's home, moment by moment.

Without it, he is lost, always striving, grasping at puffs of smoke.

A man must do anything necessary to glimpse, and then stabilize, this ever fresh realization, and organize his life around it.

6 - Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman...

2014-03-16T03:11:00.006-07:00

If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along" with her.

Both she and he will be weakened by such an action.

They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.

7 - Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship...

2014-03-16T03:11:00.004-07:00

Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship.

If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

8 - Lean Just Beyond Your Edge...

2014-03-16T03:11:00.002-07:00

In any given moment, a man's growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear.

He should not be too lazy, happily stagnating in the zone of security and comfort. Nor should he push far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily, unable to metabolize his experience.

He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.

9 - Do It for Love...

2014-03-16T03:10:00.008-07:00

The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.

10 - Enjoy Your Friends' Criticism...

2014-03-16T03:10:00.005-07:00

A man's capacity to receive another man's direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.

If he doesn't have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men's criticism.

11 - If You Don't Know Your Purpose, Discover It, Now...

2014-03-16T03:10:00.003-07:00

Without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating events.

Without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.

12 - Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life...

2014-03-16T03:10:00.001-07:00

A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living.

He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge.

These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.

13 - Don't Use Your Family As an Excuse...

2014-03-16T03:09:00.007-07:00

If a man never discovers his deepest purpose, or if he permanently compromises it and uses his family as an excuse for doing so, then his core becomes weakened and he loses depth and presence.

His woman loses trust and sexual polarity with him, even though he may be putting much energy into parenting their children and doing the housework.

A man should, of course, be a full participant in caring for children and the household. But if he gives up his deepest purpose to do so, ultimately, everyone suffers.

14 - Don't Get Lost in Tasks and Duties...

2014-03-16T03:09:00.005-07:00

Whatever the specifics of a man's purpose, he must always refresh the transcendental element of his life through regular meditation and retreat.

A man should never get lost in the details of his life and forget that, ultimately and in truth, life amounts to nothing other than what is the deepest truth of this present moment.

Tasks don't get a man anywhere more conscious or free than he is capable of being in this present moment.

15 - Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier...

2014-03-16T03:09:00.003-07:00

A woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable.

Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way.

A man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness.

Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.

16 - Women Are Not Liars...

2014-03-16T03:09:00.001-07:00

"Keeping your word" is a masculine trait, in men or women.

A person with a feminine essence may not keep her word, yet it is not exactly "lying." In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship.

When she says, "I hate you," or "I'll never move to Texas," or "I don't want to go to the movies," it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well considered stance with respect to events and experience.

On the other hand, the masculine means what it says. A man's word is his honor.

The feminine says what it feels. A woman's word is her true expression in the moment.

17 - Praise Her...

2014-03-16T03:08:00.007-07:00

The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise.

A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman.

Praise her freely.

18 - Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her...

2014-03-16T03:08:00.005-07:00

A man gets resentful and frustrated with his woman when he is too afraid, weak, or unskilled to penetrate her moods and tests into love.

He wishes she were easier to deal with. But it is not entirely her fault that she is bitchy and complaining. It is also a reflection of her lack of being penetrated by love.

When a man resigns, and simply tolerates his woman's self-destructive moods, it is a sign of his weakness. His attitude has become one of wanting to escape women and the world, rather than wanting to serve women and the world into love.

A man shouldn't tolerate bitchy and complaining moodiness in his woman, but he should serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill and perseverance. Then, if she cannot or will not open in love, he might decide to end his relationship with her, harboring no anger or resentment, because he knows he has done everything he could.

19 - Don't Analyze Your Woman...

2014-03-16T03:08:00.003-07:00

The feminine's moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source.

No analysis will work. There is no linear chain of cause and effect that can lead to the kernel of the "problem."

There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these storms are the high and low pressure systems of love.

When a woman feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate into joy, regardless of the supposed reason for the mood.

20 - Don't Suggest That a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem...

2014-03-16T03:08:00.001-07:00

Asking a woman to analyze or try to fix her own emotions is a negation of her feminine core, which is pure energy in motion, like the ocean.

She can learn to surrender her mood to God, she can learn to open her heart in the midst of closure, she can learn to relax her edges and trust love, but she will never "fix" anything by analyzing her "problem."

21 - Stay With Her Intensity To a Point...

2014-03-16T03:07:00.005-07:00

When a woman gets emotionally intense, a mediocre man wants to calm her down and discuss it, or leave and come back later when she is "sane."

A superior man penetrates her mood with imperturbable love and unwavering consciousness.

If she still refuses to live more fully in love, after a time, he lets her go.

22 - Don't Force the Feminine to Make Decisions...

2014-03-16T03:07:00.003-07:00

A man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results.

This expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift. It puts a woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine.

It is good for some women to learn to animate their masculine capacity to make a decision and stick with it. But if a man abnegates his responsibility to provide his woman with the gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness, then she will become chronically sharp, angular, and distrustful of his love.

She will cease surrendering in love with him, cease trusting his masculine capacity, and, instead, become her own man.

23 - Your Attraction to the Feminine Is Inevitable...

2014-03-16T03:07:00.001-07:00

Masculine men are attracted to forms of feminine energy: radiant women, beer, music, nature, etc.

If a man tries to hide his attraction, it reveals some degree of shame with respect to his own sexual core.

24 - Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complimentary Opposite...

2014-03-16T03:06:00.011-07:00

If a man is very masculine by nature, then he will be attracted to a very feminine woman, who will compliment his energy. The more neutral or balanced he is, the more balanced he will prefer his woman. And, if a man is more feminine by nature, his energy will be complemented by the strong direction and purposiveness of a more masculine woman.

By understanding their own needs, men can learn to accept the "whole package" of a woman.

For instance, a more masculine man can expect that any woman who really turns him on and enlivens him will also be relatively wild, undisciplined, "bonkers," chaotic, prone to changing her mind and "lying."

Still, from an energetic perspective, this kind of woman will be much more healing and inspiring to him than a more balanced or neutral woman who is steady, reasonable, "trustworthy," and able to say what she means in a way he can understand.

25 - Know What Is Important in Your Woman...

2014-03-16T03:06:00.009-07:00

The feminine is the force of life.

The more masculine a man is, the more his woman's feminine energy (as opposed to other qualities) will be important to him.